- 20 minutes ago
1982 DRAMA Anthology of Agatha Christie short stories: An unemployed girl is the spitting image of a Grand Duchess fearing to be assassinated by the anarchists. So, she accepts to impersonating her in a charity fête, risking her life for a very big sum of money. Starring Elizabeth Garvie, Andrew Bicknell, Stephanie Cole & Amanda Redman.
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TVTranscript
00:22I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:44ORGAN PLAYS
01:14Good morning, Miss Northwood. Good morning, Miss.
01:16I said yesterday's hour would be coming up this morning.
01:19Did you? Oh, yes, you did.
01:22You know what it's about, Miss. How many guesses?
01:26I'm not a grasping woman, Miss, but I can't live on thin air no better than nobody else can.
01:31I know you can't, Miss Northwood. And I'm sorry, but I simply cannot find a job.
01:36Well, I wade through all the situations vacant every morning.
01:40And look, one miserable boiled egg for breakfast.
01:45Oh, and I absolutely lust after bacon and sausage and potato cakes and fried bread and...
01:53Just a couple of pounds, perhaps.
01:56The truth of the matter is, Miss Northwood,
01:57that daughters of country vicars are simply not bought up to do anything that anyone will ever pay them for.
02:03Oh, dear.
02:04Thirty shillings, then?
02:06Well, I've pawned just about everything of value I possess.
02:09A pound, then.
02:12Ten bob, Miss Northwood.
02:13Well, it's all I can manage at the minute.
02:16Who is it?
02:18Gosh, sorry.
02:22Well, I won't worry you any more this morning, Miss.
02:24Perhaps today will be my lucky day.
02:26Oh, I do hope so, Miss, for all our sakes.
02:29But your egg will be our boiled if you don't watch it.
02:36I know it's not none of my business, Miss, but have you ever thought of getting married?
02:42Of course I have, Miss Northwood.
02:45Trouble is, all the men I like seem to be even poorer than I am.
02:50Well, I couldn't marry for money, could I?
02:54Or could I?
02:56Oh, come in, Mr. Guest.
02:58I'm sorry, I barged in like that.
03:01Oh, good morning, Miss Northwood.
03:02Good morning, Mr. Guest.
03:03How'd you get on yesterday?
03:05The usual blank.
03:06The pig farm?
03:07Not a sausage.
03:08Needed investment.
03:09With a woman who advertised for a willing girl.
03:12Turned out to be a man.
03:13Oh, whatever, next.
03:15Well, look, I've just been looking in the agony column of the times.
03:18Why were you looking in the agony column?
03:19Well, because I always do.
03:22Oh, in the course of duty.
03:23And then, what do you mean?
03:25Well, wasn't I once told the crooks put messages in code in the agony column?
03:29Oh, you know the sort of thing.
03:31Julia, always thinking of you.
03:33Shall we meet on Valentine's Day?
03:35Meaning, meet me outside the bank of England with dynamite and blowtorch.
03:39Oh, I see.
03:40Well, I'll probably learn more about that when I get to Hendon next week.
03:43I've never had a policeman rooming here before.
03:45Oh, I'll only be a cadet, Miss Northwood.
03:47Oh, still, it might come in useful.
03:49No, I've come to show you something which suits you down to the ground.
03:52Listen.
03:54If a young lady of around 25 years of age...
03:56Oh, that's a good start.
03:57Fair hair, good complexion...
03:59Oh, there you have, Miss.
04:00Go on.
04:01Straight nose?
04:02Straight-ish.
04:03A slim figure, height around 5 feet 5 inches.
04:07Sort of.
04:07Well, you've certainly got a slim figure.
04:10Oh, thanks.
04:10It's starvation.
04:12Oh, go on.
04:13Oh, good mimic.
04:15What on earth does that mean?
04:17It doesn't say.
04:17Able to speak French.
04:19Oh, dear, that does it.
04:21Well, as a matter of fact, I speak it rather well.
04:23Oh, good.
04:24Calls at number 30, Endersley Square, between the hours of 2.30 and 4.30 p.m.
04:29She may learn something to her advantage.
04:56Hello.
04:58Hello.
04:59Hello.
05:00What are from?
05:02Oh, yes. Do you know what it's all about?
05:04Not a clue. The time's as hard as they say, so who cares?
05:10My name's Hollida Wick.
05:12Hollida?
05:13Wick. Double RTT. What's yours?
05:15Jane Cleveland?
05:16No, I mean your professional name.
05:20A latiner like I have no profession.
05:22Then what if this jamboree turns out to be for dancing girls?
05:26No getting job.
05:31Do you?
05:32Do I what?
05:33Dance.
05:35If called upon.
05:37Rather things I do better.
05:40Like speaking French.
05:41Oh, heavens, yes. My second language.
05:44Just brushing up.
05:49Oh, good. They've been kicked out.
05:51We can move up free.
05:52Excuse me.
05:55Next.
06:14It is possible, mademoiselle...
06:19that you are the person for which we search for.
06:24Good.
06:26Parlez un petit peu français, s'il vous plaît, mademoiselle.
06:30Dans le vœu parque solitaire et glacé, deux formes un tout a l'air passé.
06:35Verlaine.
06:36Of course.
06:37Yes.
06:39French good.
06:42What is the job, if you don't mind me asking?
06:44I cannot tell you that, mademoiselle, yet.
06:47If you are chosen, then you will be told.
06:49But why all the mystery?
06:51If it's something I wouldn't dream of doing, why all the catechism?
06:53Are you intelligent?
06:57Intelligent enough to be careful what I let myself into.
07:00Is it anything to do with the stage?
07:02The stage?
07:04Heavens forbid.
07:06Crime.
07:07Oh, come now.
07:08Is that likely?
07:09Well, it's not for me to say.
07:11Do you have discretion?
07:13I have oodles of discretion and tons of intelligence.
07:16Anything else?
07:17Are you married?
07:18What has that got to do with it?
07:19Will you permit me to ask the questions?
07:22No.
07:23I beg your pardon?
07:25Well, no, I'm not married.
07:27Engaged, perhaps.
07:29Not even perhaps.
07:30You have a mother, a father?
07:32Yes, one of each.
07:33Still alive?
07:34No.
07:35Then who is your next of kin?
07:37My next of kin?
07:38God heavens, am I liable to be bumped off?
07:40Oh, no, no, no.
07:41It's just an elementary precaution.
07:44Well, I don't see why.
07:45Particularly as I have nothing of importance to leave to anyone.
07:48What is the fee for this mystery tour?
07:51Two thousand pounds.
07:54Two?
07:57Blow me.
07:59For two or three days' work.
08:04My name is Miss Jane Cleveland.
08:07My next of kin is Miss Northwood,
08:10who lives at 32A Handel Crescent North W1.
08:14All right.
08:15Now I give you your instructions.
08:18You know Claridge's Hotel?
08:20I know where it is.
08:21I've never actually eaten there, worse luck.
08:23You are to go there and ask for Count Streptich.
08:27This will ensure that the Count will see you.
08:29The final decision lies with him,
08:32and with one other person.
08:36I am Count Streptich.
08:39The good Colonel Cranin has sent you here.
08:42Yes.
08:43I take his word that you may possibly prove suitable.
08:57Would you mind walking to the door, please?
09:00Oh, like a mannequin?
09:01No, no, no.
09:02Just naturally.
09:10And back again.
09:20The Princess Anna.
09:24A moment, please.
09:33She might do better than any of the others.
09:37I agree.
09:38And Cranin has passed her in French.
09:40Hmm.
09:41Miss Cleveland, this is the Princess Anna Michalovna.
09:46Princess Miss Jane Cleveland.
09:48Oh.
09:49How do you do?
09:50And now, my child, do you have courage?
09:55Oh, I don't like being hurt, if that's what you mean.
09:57No, what I mean is danger.
09:59No, no, no.
10:00I don't mind danger.
10:01And you would like to earn very much money?
10:04Oh, I would very much like to earn very much money.
10:19Shall I explain matters to Anna Michalovna?
10:22No, no.
10:22Her Highness wishes to do that herself.
10:24It is not wise.
10:25Nevertheless, it is her command.
10:27Wait here.
10:31Her Highness?
10:32The Grand Duchess Paulina of Australia.
10:36I say, wasn't there something in the paper about her coming here?
10:38A bazaar or something?
10:40That is true.
10:41In aid of Australian refugees.
10:43Your Royal Highness, allow me to resent Miss Jane Cleveland.
10:52This is splendid, Anna.
10:55Wonderful!
10:57Come.
10:58Let us see each other side by side.
11:02You see, it's a good match.
11:05You are perhaps a trifle taller, Your Highness?
11:08No, who would notice?
11:10No.
11:11No, nothing could be better.
11:13It is settled.
11:15Hang on a tick.
11:16I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing yet.
11:18Oh, true.
11:18I forgot.
11:19I will tell her.
11:21Leave us alone, both of you.
11:22But you're right.
11:23And do not argue.
11:26And order some tea for us at once.
11:32Oh, they are tiresome, these old people.
11:34Oh.
11:35Now, Miss...
11:36Oh, oh.
11:37Cleveland.
11:37Jane Cleveland.
11:38Do sit down.
11:40Now tell me.
11:41Do you know the history of Australia?
11:44Oh, not very well, I'm afraid.
11:46All my family are dead.
11:48Murdered by the rebels.
11:50I am the last of my line, but of course, being a woman, I cannot sit on the throne.
11:54You'd think they would let me alone, would you not?
11:57And don't they?
11:58No.
11:58They make my life a misery wherever I go.
12:01The vodka salt brutes.
12:03Oh, I see.
12:04I live in semi-retirement in Paris, but sometimes I have to go abroad to raise money for my exiled
12:09countrymen.
12:10Like attending bazaars.
12:11Oh, you know about that?
12:12Yes, I read it in the paper this morning.
12:14Well, that is to raise money for Australian refugees.
12:17Lady Anchester is very kindly lending me her house in Buckinghamshire.
12:21But I don't see where I come into all this.
12:25It is very important that I should not be assassinated in the next few days.
12:30Assassinated?
12:32Oh, you want me to...
12:35Want you to what, my chef?
12:37Uh, peut-être pas de voles domestiques.
12:40Oh, les domestiques.
12:41No, what were you going to say?
12:42Well, you want me to take your place.
12:44Only at large public functions, you understand.
12:47Not in any intimacy.
12:48No, no, no, of course not.
12:50That would be all.
12:51Merci, madame.
12:54Now, to business.
12:57Um, what happens if I get assassinated instead of you?
13:01Oh, there is a risk.
13:03But it seems more probable that they would rather kidnap me and demand money.
13:08Killing me would make a mother of me.
13:10Oh, I see.
13:11Of course.
13:12They might throw a bomb.
13:13Milk or lemon.
13:14Lemon, please.
13:15I think we should discuss the fee, don't you?
13:17Ah.
13:18I cannot remember what Colonel Craneen suggested.
13:21Sugar?
13:22Yes, please.
13:23Um, two thousand pounds.
13:27Well, is it enough?
13:28Would you rather have three thousand?
13:30Oh, I'd rather have three thousand.
13:33I am so glad you're a business like me.
13:36I have no head for money at all.
13:37What I want, I have to have.
13:39Oh, I do so agree.
13:41That's why I'd rather have three thousand.
13:43And then, of course, there is the danger.
13:46Although you don't seem the sort of girl to mind that.
13:49Within certain limits, I suppose.
13:51You see, it is very important for my country that I should marry
13:55and have at least two sons.
13:58Yes.
13:58An heir to the throne of Australia is absolutely essential.
14:03Oh, and a spare.
14:04A spare?
14:05Oh, what a quaint way of putting it.
14:09And then...
14:10Well, after that it doesn't really matter what happens to me.
14:15So, will you accept?
14:19Okay, I accept.
14:20Excellent.
14:21Have a cucumber sandwich.
14:28I have explained everything.
14:29Miss Cleveland will do as we ask.
14:31But can we be absolutely sure she can play her part?
14:35Three thousand pounds?
14:37I'll show you.
14:40Excellent, Anna.
14:41This is wonderful.
14:43Come, let us see each other side by side.
14:45You see, it's a good match.
14:46Yes, it would deceive most people.
14:49Yes.
14:50Yes, it is true.
14:51Oh, how clever you are.
14:53I couldn't imitate anybody to save my life.
14:56Miss Cleveland is to have three thousand pounds.
14:59It will be seen to, Highness.
15:02Come, Miss Cleveland.
15:03We must go and try some of my clothes on you.
15:06Bring your tea.
15:21Now, this is what I shall wear for the bazaar at the Ryan House the day after tomorrow.
15:25Of course, it may not be necessary for you to take my place there, but try it on just in
15:29case.
15:30Golly, I've never seen anything so stunning.
15:32It must have cost a fortune.
15:33I suppose so.
15:35Yet I envy you.
15:37I am never allowed to wear anything simple.
15:40Cheap, you mean.
15:40No, no, simple.
15:42Sometimes simplicity can be the height of chic.
15:44Perhaps one day it'll be chic to have ladders in one's stockings.
15:48And, of course, if we do have to change places at a moment's notice,
15:52I think you should be wearing something quite different.
15:55Don't you?
15:57Yes, what a clever idea.
16:00Perhaps a flame red marrow cane.
16:03Oh, that would be very striking.
16:06And, of course, I must look quite different, mustn't I?
16:09Sort of old-fashioned, perhaps. Spectacles or something.
16:13Excellent, excellent.
16:14But let us hope it will not be necessary.
16:19There!
16:20Oh, it's perfect!
16:23Well...
16:23Oh, yes.
16:24A shade too long on you, but...
16:26I see you wear low heels, your highness.
16:28Do you always?
16:29Oh, yes.
16:30I cannot abide the high heels.
16:31Could you show me the shoes you will be wearing for the bazaar?
16:34Yes, of course.
16:38I love dressing up, don't you?
16:40Yes.
16:40Yes.
16:41If you were to buy the same shoes, but with a higher heel, that would even us up.
16:45Oh, yes, of course.
16:47Now, you're being clever.
16:52What do you want?
16:54Can't you see we're busy?
16:59Forgive me, your highness,
17:01but Count Streptich thinks it advisable that he should book rooms for Miss Cleveland at the Ritz.
17:06The Ritz?
17:07Golly, how stunning.
17:08But do you think it's really necessary?
17:09We think so.
17:11Oh, I agree.
17:11And we must also find the reason for you to be staying in London.
17:15A different name, perhaps?
17:17Exactly.
17:18Count Streptich suggests a Mrs. Smith.
17:21Oh, no.
17:22There'll be enough Mrs. Smith staying at the Ritz.
17:24Mrs. Jones?
17:26Ditto.
17:27Mrs. uh...
17:29Mrs.
17:30Mrs. Guest.
17:31Very well.
17:31We will call you Mrs. Guest.
17:33From?
17:34From New York.
17:36Golly, more mimicry.
17:39And then...
17:44What are you?
17:47Thoroughly confused.
17:48Yes, of course.
17:49We must find the reason for you to be hanging around close by.
17:52A photographer.
17:53I've got it.
17:54A journalist.
17:55Well done.
17:56An American journalist staying at the Ritz.
17:59Perfect.
18:12This afternoon, Miss Cleveland, you will buy anything you need in the way of clothes, and tomorrow you will move
18:19into the Ritz Hotel.
18:20Well...
18:21What about the wherewithal?
18:24The...
18:24The...
18:26The...
18:26The...
18:27The wherewithal?
18:27What?
18:29Dormkopf.
18:30Money to buy the clothes.
18:33Yes, of course.
18:40One hundred pounds.
18:43Oh, for dress, shoes, gloves, and bag.
18:47Exactly.
18:51At the same time, I shall need an advance on my fee.
18:54But surely until you have actually done something...
18:57Oh, for heaven's sake, Strutteach.
18:58Give us some more of the wherewithal.
19:00Thank you, your highness.
19:08Oh, two hundred pounds should prove sufficient.
19:17So, I've beetled off to Norman Hartnell's and bought this.
19:20I love red, don't you?
19:22Oh, and what about these shoes?
19:24Trey, slinky.
19:26And this bag?
19:27Oh, and what do you think of this cheeky little tit fur?
19:29Yes, well, great.
19:31Swell.
19:32Your enthusiasm overwhelms me.
19:34Well, to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure I like the sound of it.
19:37My dear chap, it was you who put me on to it.
19:39Yes, I know, but I didn't know it was gonna get...
19:41Well, now you want to take me off it.
19:43Well, just to be cautious.
19:44Oh, you policeman.
19:46I can only go by what you've told me.
19:48I mean, did you ask to see their credentials?
19:50We're going to stoop to old musical jokes.
19:52No, no, I'm serious.
19:53Oh, why shouldn't they be genuine?
19:56Well, it's all in the papers about the Grand Ashes of Australia coming here.
20:00Is she doing anything wrong by using me as her double?
20:03No, but I have a funny feeling...
20:05Oh, come now, Mr Guest.
20:07Poor policeman was supposed to deal with facts and figures, not funny feelings.
20:10I'd just like you to look after yourself, that's all.
20:13Well, as sure as my name is...
20:15Oh, good Lord.
20:16What?
20:17Well, we had to think of a made-up name for my staying at the Ritz, and I say Guest.
20:21Well, it was the first name that came into my head.
20:23Well, I'm flattered. Miss or Mrs?
20:25Miss.
20:26Of course.
20:28Well, I won't hang about.
20:29I just wanted to see how it went, that's all.
20:31Oh, hang on a tick.
20:32Well, now what?
20:33Well, I thought we'd...
20:36I thought I'd celebrate.
20:38Well, I had some moolah left over from my shopping spree.
20:41So...
20:42Champagne, thought I.
20:44No.
20:44No, honestly, I feel I'm intruding.
20:46Oh, nonsense.
20:48Well, I'd be glad of some good, solid English company.
20:51Is that a compliment?
20:52Oh, well, you know what I mean.
20:54After dealing with floods of foreigners,
20:56I mean, I thought at any minute they'd break into the White Horse Inn or Ivan Avello.
21:02Oh, here.
21:03You have a go.
21:07There's this bizarre thing the Grand Duchess is going to the day after tomorrow.
21:10Yes, yes, it's well advertised.
21:12Well, they say there might be an attempt to kidnap her.
21:14For heaven's sake, Miss Cleveland, you could be killed.
21:16Oh, I've decided to take the risk.
21:18I've told them I don't mind danger, and think of all those fivers.
21:22Oh!
21:22Nigel, look out.
21:24Mr Guest, I mean.
21:25Nigel's fine.
21:27You see, I've never dreamt of so much money in all my life.
21:31You haven't got it yet.
21:32Oh, why are you so depressing?
21:34I shall get it as soon as the Grand Duchess is safely out of the country.
21:37Well, look, I think you should let me look into the whole thing.
21:39I mean, you could obviously be in some danger.
21:42Oh, all this knight-earing business is so old-fashioned.
21:45You mean you can look after yourself?
21:46Of course I can.
21:47I mean, well, I have so far, haven't I?
21:50Fine.
21:52Then I won't worry.
21:53Good.
21:54Swell.
21:55Cheers.
21:57Cheers.
22:03I also went to Lion's Corner House and bought something beginning with F.
22:08Food!
22:20A transformation indeed.
22:22Do you think I'll pass?
22:23I'm scarcely recognized.
22:25Well, I'm quite ready.
22:27I think it only fair to tell you, Miss Cleveland, that...
22:30Mrs. Guest, Count Strapditch.
22:32My name is Mrs. Guest and I work for the New York Gazette.
22:35Yes, of course.
22:37Mrs. Guest.
22:38Well, I think it only fair to tell you, Mrs. Guest, that late last night we received information
22:44that an attempt to kidnap her highness will almost certainly be made this afternoon on her
22:49way back from the bazaar.
22:51Then why don't I take her place from the beginning?
22:54Because her highness and Lady Anchester are old friends.
22:58But how will I know when I'm supposed to make the switch?
23:02At the end of her highness's little speech, you will step forward and ask for an interview.
23:07But how do we change clothes in the middle of the bazaar?
23:09The Princess Anna will arrange that, you may be sure.
23:13Well, I'm ready to be kidnapped.
23:15The address...
23:21Orion House, Little Missenden, Buckinghamshire.
23:26I cannot, of course, accompany you.
23:28No, I do see that.
23:30I shall naturally be with the royal entourage.
23:35Of course.
23:37You will go to Aylesbury by train.
23:40At the same time, I think I should have a further advance on my fee.
23:43I mean, you do owe me over two thousand pounds.
23:46Certainly.
23:46How much would you like?
23:49Another two hundred, perhaps?
23:50Another two hundred.
24:00But what if the plan fails to succeed?
24:02It won't.
24:04By the way, how do I get the balance of my fee?
24:08Colonel Cranine remains in London.
24:11He will pay you.
24:20Call the bomb station, please.
24:22Yes, sir.
24:23I thank you.
24:36Totally.
24:49Thank you
24:59isn't the grand duchess here yet oh i think not have all those wonderful pearls been
25:04collected oh some days ago i believe and in safe keeping i trust i hear they're worth more
25:09than ten thousand pounds ten thousand there's something happening now
25:32your highness may i present lady anchester your highness welcome to a royal house it is so kind
25:41of you to throw open your lovely home for the cause which is so close to my heart i have
25:45always
25:45wanted to meet your highness we are both fighters in the cause of freedom my aide de camp count streptich
25:53enchanté uh the princess anna
26:02enchanté and our london representative colonel crani
26:13and now your highness allow me to escort you around the bazaar you will be pleased to know
26:19that sails are already brisk oh the beautiful old house the pearls are already collected i believe so
26:28that's okay
26:29so
27:30Which, I am told, will be auctioned at the end of the day.
28:02Oh, thank you.
28:03Could be possible.
28:04A private room for a couple of minutes.
28:06Why, of course.
28:07Come with me.
28:22Now, as they say, fire away.
28:25Anyway, you say you leave for Paris this afternoon, princess.
28:30That is so, on the night train.
28:32Although I am desolate to be leaving England.
28:35A country that offers so much.
28:37You must come back again very soon, your highness.
28:40How kind.
28:46Continue.
28:47I have so little time.
28:49You have many engagements in Paris?
28:51Yes.
28:52Many meetings of the Australian refugee committees.
28:55Yes.
28:56Yes, of course.
28:58Continue.
29:00And in Angleterre, did you find the sympathy for your pay?
29:05Yes, absolutely.
29:06And in June, I hope?
29:07Oh, yes, mademoiselle.
29:09This afternoon, for example, there's a lot of money.
29:11That's because my friends are sad that your beautiful pay is embarrassed.
29:16But I say.
29:19My dear Lady Ancestor, you're wanted in the tea tent.
29:23Thank you, princess.
29:24Excusez-moi, your highness.
29:56No.
29:57No, no, no.
29:57I must be seen with that.
29:58Oh, but quick.
29:59Quick.
29:59Off you go.
30:01No.
30:02No.
30:06No.
30:07No.
30:09No.
30:16I must be seen with that.
30:21Well, that's that.
30:23I think I did rather nicely, don't you?
30:25You played your part with great distinction.
30:28Except I had to leave my handbag with the Grand Duchess.
30:31With all my money in it.
30:33You have no need to worry.
31:14You've turned off the main road.
31:15Dear God, this must be it.
31:17Stop!
31:18Stop!
31:19Stop!
31:24We must keep up the pretense so as her highness can get safely out of the country.
31:49Stop!
31:50Stop!
31:50Stop!
31:52Stop!
31:55Stop!
31:57Stop!
31:58What is the meaning of this outrage?
32:00Get out if you know what's good for your illustrious lady.
32:05That way.
32:11Stop!
32:13Stop!
32:19Stop!
32:21Stop!
32:22We've got something for you,trick.
32:37We've got some help form, Cadillac?
32:43There's something to worry about.
32:44Fair得 rush.
32:44Who is the ogre?
32:48Who is not, Wooy?
32:50Off your dining room.
32:50Hello?
32:50The steps are necessary.
32:51Ad married, buddies.
32:51I will bar z in the house.
32:52In the house.
32:53Now, my lords, ladies and gentlemen,
32:57we come to the piece de resistance of the afternoon.
33:02In this bag, you'll find 100 exquisite pearls,
33:07some of which are the almost priceless black pearls.
33:11100 pearls donated by 100 wonderful and compassionate ladies.
33:28Oh, good food. I'm very hungry.
33:40Still, a little luxury for aristocrats.
33:53Oh, well, I'll tuck in if you don't mind.
34:00I never got as far as the tea tent,
34:02and I seem to be in more danger than she is.
34:08Oh, not bad.
34:39Princess, there's something that puzzles me.
34:43At the Ritz, I remember suggesting to Count Strepditch
34:46it might be simpler if I doubled with the Grand Duchess
34:48from the beginning of the afternoon.
34:52He said that wouldn't be possible
34:54because the two ladies knew each other very well.
34:59I remember at Orion House
35:04Lady Anchester saying something about always wanting to meet her.
35:10So they couldn't have met before, could they?
35:15Oh, princess, please don't cry.
35:19Everything will be all right.
35:23I am bid fifteen thousand five hundred.
35:24Oh, my God.
35:24Oh, my God.
35:26Oh, my God.
35:28Oh, my God.
35:31Oh, my God.
35:43Oh, my God.
35:48I am bid fifteen thousand five hundred.
35:52Six hundred.
35:54Six hundred.
35:55Seven fifty.
35:57Sixteen thousand.
35:59That's sixteen thousand pounds.
36:02At sixteen thousand,
36:03and I shall send, ladies and gentlemen,
36:05any advance on sixteen thousand?
36:08Yes.
36:08I'll take them.
36:09What is your bid, madam?
36:10This.
36:11No one move or I'll shoot.
36:14No one move.
36:15No one move.
36:18No one move.
36:19No one move.
36:46The line must have been cut, of course.
36:48Will you go at once to the police station?
36:50Of course, Lady Anderson.
37:40The line must have been cut, of course.
37:50The line must have been cut, of course.
38:46The line must have been cut.
38:48He's reported a robbery at a Ryan house.
38:52Oh, no. He's not done it. He's reported it.
38:56He's starting at Hendon next week.
39:00Yes, that's right. La-dee-da.
39:02Do hurry.
39:04Well, from what I can make out, there's a grand duchess what isn't a grand duchess.
39:11There's a girl in a red dress what isn't in a red dress.
39:14And then there...
39:16What?
39:19Well, I don't know what she's wearing in that case.
39:23No, she's only a...
39:25Dupe. Dupe.
39:26A dupe.
39:28No dupe.
39:34How do you spell it?
39:35Her name is Jane Cleveland.
39:39J-A...
39:40Give me the phone, please.
39:41Let me talk to your super, quickly, please.
40:10Let me talk to your super, quickly, please.
40:19Sit down, man.
40:22Sit down, man.
40:25Sit down, man.
40:32Sit down, man.
41:05ORCHESTRA PLAYS
41:11ORCHESTRA PLAYS
41:13ORCHESTRA PLAYS
41:39Jay.
41:41Jay.
41:47Oh.
42:02Oh.
42:05Oh.
42:05Oh.
42:05Oh.
42:05Oh.
42:05Oh.
42:05Quick.
42:06Sergeant.
42:06There's been a hold up at Orion House.
42:08Hear that?
42:09It's been reported again.
42:11A girl in a red dress.
42:12The girl in the red dress again.
42:37Nigel, what's happened?
42:47Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, damn.
43:09Blast it.
43:11A fine policeman I'll make.
43:18Oh, my head.
43:22Water.
43:25Anything.
43:28No, it's gone!
43:32Oh, my head.
43:35I thought they'd all gone.
43:37Who are they?
43:40Where's Princess Anne?
43:42She was part of a gang.
43:45How did I...
43:47Have I been dreaming?
43:49Afraid not.
43:51You got pulled into a brilliant crime.
43:54Are you feeling okay?
43:55No.
43:56Nor me.
43:58I've got a check with the local police.
44:00Oh, wait, you can't leave me.
44:01I'll only be 15 minutes.
44:03No!
44:03I thought you didn't mind danger.
44:05Well, okay, I'm a liar.
44:07You're perfectly safe.
44:08The Australian lot will be halfway to a channel port by now.
44:1015 minutes, then.
44:12I promise.
44:39I promise.
44:40I have some refugees from...
44:43What?
44:43Australia.
44:45And you are?
44:47I am Monsieur Lebrun, and this is my wife.
44:52And I am Monsieur Boulistain of the Code Diplomatique, and Madame Boulistain.
44:56Ah, you're French.
44:58Oui, c'est ça.
44:59When you were at Orion House, did you by any chance notice a young woman in a red dress?
45:03Ah, oui.
45:04That was a young, uh, how do you say?
45:07Journalist in a red dress and a little red chapeau.
45:11Ah.
45:12And when did you leave Orion House?
45:14Uh, just before the, um...
45:17Qu'est-ce que c'est bon?
45:18Auction?
45:19Auction.
45:20I believe a number of pearls have been donated.
45:22And this journalist, was she American?
45:26Oh, I would say that she was.
45:28And yet, uh...
45:30Yes.
45:31Something about her accent was not quite right.
45:34Of course, it is very difficult for us to tell her.
45:38Of course.
45:39Well, thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
45:40You've been most helpful.
45:42A young woman, possibly American, in a...
45:45and a red dress.
45:47Merci.
45:51Drive on.
45:56Did you get all that, Sergeant?
46:28Oh, no.
46:30I thought you were...
46:31We're the police, miss.
46:32We've been instructed to pick you up and take you to the superintendent.
46:35Oh, but I have nothing to do with it.
46:38Oh, the Grand Duchess left this here, and...
46:43Oh, hell, what am I saying?
46:45Come along, miss.
46:46Everything's all right.
46:48May I see your credentials?
46:50It's not far, miss.
46:51The cars just outside.
47:13It's not far, miss.
47:19The cars just outside.
47:32I did as you suggested, lad.
47:34Let them through.
47:35Posing as Frenchmen.
47:37But your descriptions were so spot-on, there was no doubting who they were.
47:41I hope it'll lead to the rest of the gang.
47:43Forces alerted all down the line.
47:45They won't get away.
47:45Nigel, tell them.
47:47I've tried to explain.
47:48I'll tell them.
47:49He's already explained, miss.
47:51Everything's under control.
47:52Isn't there a Grand Duchess of Australia?
47:55Kidnapped.
47:56Last week in Paris.
47:58And locked up in an old lodge in the Ardennes.
48:00The real Count Streptich managed to escape 48 hours later and raise the alarm.
48:07Then I'm no longer under suspicion.
48:09No, miss.
48:10You and your boyfriend can skedaddle, though you may be needed as a witness.
48:15Of course.
48:16Well done, young man.
48:18You should do well at the Hendon College.
48:20Thank you, sir.
48:21Off you go, the two of you.
48:23Good luck.
48:37Come on.
48:43Hold on tight.
49:07You were right, of course, but honestly, finishing all my money, if you hadn't lent me your last
49:13five pounds, I'd never have got out of the Ritz.
49:16You still have the red dress and the fur.
49:18Yes, but I can't eat them.
49:20Hungry?
49:21Me too.
49:24I hope they feed you well at Hendon.
49:26I was going to ask you to dinner, but...
49:35But how could you have known who was who?
49:38I mean, you couldn't have been that close.
49:39Well, I did notice that when the so-called Grand Duchess arrived at Orion House, she had
49:43low heels on.
49:44But when she came out in exactly the same outfit, she had high heels on.
49:48So I smelled a rat and guessed it was you.
49:51Oh, thanks very much.
49:52Oh, you know what I mean.
49:53Yes, of course I do.
49:54And I think it was frightfully clever.
49:57Well, actually, I was brought up in the boot trade.
49:59Yeah, my dad's a sort of boot king in Northampton.
50:03Well, he always wanted me to go into the trade and settle down, that sort of thing.
50:08What sort of thing?
50:09Well, marry and settle down, that sort of thing.
50:12Oh, I see.
50:13But I always wanted to be a policeman.
50:15And settle down.
50:17Well, I think you'll make a wonderful detective.
50:20Well, part of the job.
50:21Powers of observation.
50:23Oh, but you didn't observe the man behind you with a cosh.
50:27Absolutely correct.
50:28Perhaps a medium good detective.
50:30No, that wasn't fair.
50:32After all, you've still got a job.
50:34I'm back where I started.
50:36Not necessarily.
50:37Now, Mr. Guest, how long do you like your eggs boiled?
50:42Three and a half minutes, please.
50:43Two and a half minutes.
51:13Two and a half minutes.
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