- 8 hours ago
Going Dutch - Season 2 - Episode 10: The Heart Locker
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00:08Oh, my back. Oh, my God.
00:20Bacon.
00:24Come on, bacon.
00:27I've defended my country my whole life.
00:30Please let me have this bacon.
00:34Something is definitely wrong.
00:36I mean, you know that the colonel thinks it's five minutes early.
00:37It's ten minutes late.
00:38I'm sure it's fine. It's only 8.03.
00:40It's 8.03?
00:42Oh, my God. He's probably dead.
00:43He's probably dead.
00:44I'm going to call him, right?
00:45I'm going to check on him.
00:45Yeah.
00:46Just, uh, double check.
00:48Hello. No one is available.
00:50Of course, that went to the voicemail he's never set up.
00:53I'm going to go check on him.
00:54Okay.
00:54He's been putting a down payment on a heart attack for a while.
00:57Oh, last week he told me he was in his bacon era.
01:00I have been begging him to cut down to his lap every other day.
01:03Oh, my God.
01:08You're not dead.
01:09Just horribly injured.
01:11What happened?
01:12Come here.
01:13I've got something to tell you.
01:15Dad, Dad.
01:16I'm here.
01:17It's important.
01:18Yeah.
01:18Put the bacon in my mouth.
01:25No, floor bacon first.
01:28Floor bacon?
01:30I can't let the bacon win.
01:34Oh, yeah.
01:37Yeah.
01:38Uh-huh.
01:39Uh-huh.
01:41Uh-huh.
01:42Uh-huh.
01:43Uh-huh.
01:44Uh-huh.
01:45Uh-huh.
01:45Uh-huh.
01:46Uh-huh.
01:48Uh-huh.
01:49Uh-huh.
01:49Uh-huh.
01:50Uh-huh.
01:51Uh-huh.
01:51Uh-huh.
01:52Uh-huh.
01:53Uh-huh.
01:53Uh-huh.
01:53Uh-huh.
01:54Uh-huh.
01:54Uh-huh.
01:54Uh-huh.
01:55Uh-huh.
01:55Uh-huh.
02:08You know, you slip a couple discs, and all of a sudden the doctor is, like, at the top of
02:12the chain of command.
02:13Look, the base is in good hands. Shaw and I are going to hold it down until you're up on
02:16your feet.
02:16Let's get you set up with that, uh, World War II documentary you've been going on and on about.
02:22Unseen footage of American troops trashing Hitler's hideout. Just let the doctor order.
02:26I know. The bunker inside the bunker.
02:28Water, meds, anything else you need before I go.
02:30Now they're at the bunker.
02:31Do you need any more, like, shh, shh?
02:34That's the door. They're opening the door. They're going to the bunker inside the bunker.
02:37Oh, my God. These are the steps that lead down to the steps that lead down to the bunker inside
02:41the bunker.
02:44I'm going to rewind.
02:45Ow. Ow.
02:50Oh, hey. I didn't know that you were going to be here working.
02:52But that's cool. That's very cool. I'll just stick to my office. It's totally fine.
02:55You can work in here. Do you want to work in here?
02:56I'm good. I can go there. I can be anywhere.
02:58Look, we can work in the same room. I know that you didn't want to get romantically involved because you
03:03said it was unprofessional, and I respect that.
03:04So I'm cool. If you're cool, look, we could.
03:08That's great. Okay. That's great. Yeah. We're just, uh, we're just going to keep it pro, you know?
03:13Keep it pro.
03:13Keeping it pro. We don't have to act on every feeling that we have.
03:15No, certainly not. I mean, if everyone did that, the world would be complete chaos.
03:19We'd be murdering all the time.
03:21Yeah, and sex on the streets, right?
03:22I mean, I would be doing the murdering one. That's what I would be doing.
03:25If I had the choice between the two.
03:26But we're just pros keeping it pro, so.
03:28Yep, yep.
03:29Just, all right.
03:34Oh, uh, well, you can.
03:41All right.
03:42No, it's okay.
03:44My answer phone.
03:46Uh, hello, Major Shah?
03:50Uh-huh.
03:51Um, yeah, okay. Uh-huh.
03:52Yep, yep, yep.
03:55Yeah. Uh-huh, got it. Yes, I will be right out.
03:58Mm, looks like there's a report of a landmine in a nearby farm field, so I should probably...
04:01Oh, was that the weird farmer?
04:03Shaw, that crank call is like twice a week.
04:04Last time we were there, you dug up sardine cans.
04:07Okay, yeah, yeah, but I probably should just go make sure.
04:09So, I'll assemble an UxO team to take over there, and you stay here.
04:13Um, adios, amiga!
04:14Okay.
04:16That was terrible.
04:18When locals find unexploded military devices, they call the Army.
04:21So, as the UxO team, we've been tasked with sweeping for landmines at a local farm.
04:26Now, as someone with extensive landmine diffusal experience, I've worked with the best of the best.
04:30You know the team from The Hurt Locker?
04:31Mm-hmm.
04:32When they got scared, they came to us.
04:33And I've pretended to see that movie on so many dates.
04:36Okay, well, before we get into the nitty-gritty of it all, I assume you both read the training manual.
04:40Don't need a manual when you got a RuxO.
04:43Mm-hmm.
04:44A what?
04:44The robotic UxO, the latest and greatest in landmine detection technology, capable of using high-tech sonar to safely identify
04:53minds from every era of modern war.
04:56Also, he's cute as hell.
04:58I am RuxO.
04:59I am ready to serve.
05:00But I know what you're wondering.
05:02Can he dance?
05:03Wasn't wondering that.
05:04I can dance.
05:05I hacked his code.
05:06Five, six, seven, eight!
05:08I can dance.
05:10I can dance.
05:13That was really entertaining.
05:15Let's turn that off now.
05:16Beep, boop.
05:16Very good, RuxO.
05:17Great dancing.
05:18But you're otherwise useless.
05:20Because unexpected problems always arise.
05:22Things a robot isn't programmed to do.
05:25But I can make real-time adjustments in the field.
05:27Well, the army is ordering us to use RuxO in any landmine clearings, so...
05:34Okay, fine.
05:34We can bring Private RuxO.
05:36Oh, actually, he's a major.
05:37Major?
05:38Same rank as me.
05:39That's great.
05:41I don't love that salute.
05:44Today we have the DFAC inventory check due.
05:47So if it's cool with you guys, and I'm so sorry to even ask you to do this,
05:50because I know how annoying it could be.
05:52And obviously let me know if it's too much,
05:54but it would be so, so awesome if you guys could handle that.
05:57And if any issues arise, obviously let me know,
05:59but I don't think that there will be.
06:01Would you guys be able to handle that?
06:03Sorry, what?
06:05You know what?
06:06I'm just going to do it.
06:07I will add that to my list.
06:11So what do I do with these performance reviews that the colonel asked me to file?
06:16The performance reviews of every soldier on the base?
06:19Mm-hmm.
06:19I will go ahead and take care of that as well.
06:21Yeah, absolutely.
06:22Get that off your plate.
06:23You're the best.
06:24Oh.
06:25Well, you guys are, um, well, dismissed.
06:28I'm going to go lay down.
06:30Okay.
06:30Bye, Gideon.
06:31Bye.
06:32Bye.
06:33All right.
06:33Let's see what the, uh, colonel has to say about me.
06:38Mm-hmm.
06:39All right.
06:40Um, Captain Maggie Quinn, da-da-da-da-da.
06:43Uh, standout officer.
06:45Mm-hmm.
06:46Uh, soldiers under her command gave her exemplary marks,
06:49which proves that she is overly concerned with being liked.
06:57What?
07:01So what, we're supposed to just sit here and watch Wally work?
07:03Yeah.
07:04Yeah, that's a good idea.
07:05We should sit.
07:05We should sit.
07:06We should sit down and relax.
07:09Unbelievable.
07:10Oh, Major Shaw.
07:11Uh-huh.
07:12Cheesy pup?
07:12I'm good.
07:14Uh, Shaw.
07:14Pop a squat.
07:15I'm going to be standing.
07:17Okay.
07:18Oh.
07:19That's weird.
07:20Our hero seems to be stuck in the mud.
07:23Help.
07:24Help.
07:25Help.
07:25That's funny.
07:26Help.
07:26Ruxo is stuck in the mud at, you know,
07:28who's never been stuck in the mud?
07:29Me.
07:30Human me.
07:31For a human, you're not having much compassion right now.
07:33Imagine how scared he is out there.
07:35Scared.
07:35What are we going to do?
07:37Yeah.
07:37We can't leave a man behind.
07:38That's like the one thing I know about the military.
07:40It's not a man.
07:41It's a machine that we're going to be throwing away
07:43in the scrapyard very soon.
07:44Hello.
07:45Is this the 702nd EOD company?
07:46I don't know.
07:47Great.
07:47This is Major Abraham Shaw.
07:48with USAG Stroopstorf.
07:50The robot that you're trying to replace me with
07:53is disabled in the field.
07:54Help me.
07:55Help me.
07:56Uh-huh.
07:57Okay.
07:57Yep.
07:58Mm-hmm.
07:59Yes.
08:00No, thank you, sir.
08:02Okay.
08:02Okay, so apparently, Ruxo cost $2 million,
08:04and I have been ordered to rescue him
08:06because his life is worth more than mine.
08:08Oh, you said him.
08:10Mm-hmm.
08:10That was so cute.
08:12Oh!
08:23Hello, Father.
08:24You scared me.
08:25I almost grabbed my couch pistol.
08:26Just checking to see if you need anything.
08:29Maybe water, perhaps?
08:31Yeah, that'd be great, hon.
08:32Thanks.
08:33It's important to stay hydrated.
08:35Yeah.
08:37I can't.
08:39Why don't I fluff that pillow?
08:45Okay.
08:46Mm.
08:47Make sure you're comfortable.
08:48Yep.
08:49Ow!
08:50Ow!
08:50Ow!
08:51Ow!
08:51Ow!
08:54Ow!
08:56Is that better?
08:57Why are you going all full Kathy Bates and Misery on me?
09:02I'm just being a little bit of a jerk.
09:05Look, I don't care about what I liked.
09:09You read your review.
09:10I read my review.
09:11That's classified.
09:13Coming from the man who said classified?
09:15More like assified.
09:17Your problem is that you hem and haw
09:18when you're supposed to be giving a direct order
09:20because you're afraid about your soldier's healings.
09:23Feelings are a real thing,
09:24and they don't need air quotes.
09:26And I happen to believe that a relaxed workplace
09:29is a productive workplace.
09:31Are you an army captain
09:32or the manager of a Margaritaville?
09:34The people who work for you
09:35are not supposed to like you.
09:36They're supposed to hate you
09:37because you're the boss, okay?
09:39Plus, it's fun to be mean.
09:40You know what?
09:42You're right.
09:43What do you mean?
09:44Watch this.
09:46What the hell is that?
09:48Enjoy Real Housewives of Minnesota.
09:50Oh, no, no, no.
09:51No.
09:53These people,
09:53their accents are going to sound even stupider
09:55when they're drunk.
09:57No!
10:02Help me.
10:03Help me.
10:03It's okay, Ruxo.
10:04Help's on its way.
10:06Stay strong, Ruxo.
10:07Major Sean looks like a ninja turtle
10:09that let himself go.
10:11What?
10:12Oh, I said you look like a ninja turtle
10:14that's let himself go, sir.
10:16You do, Major.
10:17You do.
10:18Approaching the extraction point.
10:20Help me.
10:20Don't worry, Ruxo.
10:22Stepdaddy Shaw is coming to save you.
10:24Help me.
10:24Okay.
10:25Ruxo, stop moving backwards.
10:27Advance towards me.
10:29I can dance.
10:30I said advance.
10:31I can dance.
10:32I said advance.
10:34I can dance.
10:35Listen to my words.
10:36You need to come towards me.
10:37Advance.
10:38Warning, landmine detected.
10:40Okay.
10:42Warning, landmine detected.
10:44Hey, guys.
10:44Hey, did Ruxo lie to the mood
10:45with a funny joke?
10:46Yeah, we saw y'all dancing.
10:48He's so funny, right?
10:49I'm on a landmine.
10:51Warning, landmine detected.
10:53I know!
10:55Specialist Gideon,
10:56you don't think I care too much
10:57about being liked, do you?
10:59This feels like a trap.
11:01Oh, no.
11:01I just want your honest feedback.
11:04Well, yeah,
11:05you do care too much
11:06about being liked.
11:08Okay.
11:10I appreciate that.
11:11I know it's hard
11:12to talk to a superior officer.
11:13Actually, since you asked,
11:15you wear too much deodorant,
11:17you slouch when you sit,
11:18your taste in music
11:19is super dated,
11:20and when you sing,
11:21there's no joy
11:22in your handwriting.
11:23It's super bubbly
11:24and immature.
11:25Okay, that's great.
11:26Thank you, Gideon.
11:27None of that was devastating,
11:29and you are dismissed.
11:30I need you to call Maggie,
11:32but don't tell her I'm in danger.
11:33I don't want to worry her.
11:34Just play it cool.
11:36But I don't want you to die.
11:38I don't want to see someone explode.
11:40Not again.
11:41Look, I don't want to die either.
11:42Just play it cool.
11:43That is an order.
11:45Okay.
11:50Captain Quinn.
11:51Hey, girl.
11:52How's my queen?
11:53I'm fine.
11:55What's up?
11:55So?
11:56Not an emergency.
11:58Yeah, we just found a landmine.
12:00Okay, but Shaw can diffuse it?
12:03Shaw told me to call you.
12:04He said the landmine's
12:05from the World War II era.
12:07We need an expert
12:07in weaponry from that time.
12:08Do you know anybody?
12:11The T-30 heavy tank
12:12was designed to counter
12:14the German Tiger I,
12:15and Tiger II...
12:17Footage of the T-29,
12:18you morons.
12:20I gotta fact check everybody.
12:22No, no one's come into mind,
12:24but I will find somebody
12:25for you guys.
12:26Well, I mean, take your time.
12:28Just grab some food if you want,
12:30maybe some sushi
12:31and some cold ones and...
12:33Okay, girl, bye.
12:34Why would you tell her
12:35to stop for beers?
12:36I don't know.
12:38Shaw told me to play it cool,
12:39and I'm freaking out.
12:42Hold on, Shaw!
12:44Help is on the way!
12:45Eh-eh-eh-eh!
12:46They're bringing beer!
12:49I am ready to serve beer.
12:54Dietrich, this is Maggie,
12:55Maggie, Dietrich.
12:56Jan, thank you so much
12:57for bringing your great uncle
12:58in to help us out.
13:00My absolute pleasure.
13:01You know, he has big-time
13:03World War II knowledge
13:04because he's old
13:05and he lived it.
13:05Yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I'm so sorry
13:14to hear that.
13:15Did you lose somebody
13:17to a mine?
13:17No, no, no, no.
13:20But as a kid
13:21I gave her herself.
13:23Okay, so when he was a boy,
13:26he helped play the landmines
13:28himself.
13:29Is there any chance
13:30your great uncle
13:31was a little Nazi collaborator?
13:34You know, I have never asked.
13:36He should ask.
13:37Okay.
13:38Uh, Dietrich?
13:39Hm?
13:40Was you a Nazi-superfan?
13:42Yeah.
13:44Okay.
13:45I wanted that they were
13:46aardy because they had
13:48the good chocolate.
13:49Okay, so yes,
13:50basically he wanted
13:51the Nazis to like him.
13:52He wanted the Nazis
13:53to like him.
13:54Yeah, because they
13:54had a good chocolate,
13:55you know.
13:56Ja.
13:56Uh, Jan,
13:58you can ask your great uncle
13:59to get off the base
14:00and never, ever,
14:01ever come back.
14:03Om Dietrich.
14:04Kom.
14:05Let's get you some chocolate.
14:06Ah, oh.
14:07The real chocolate?
14:08Hyper chocolate.
14:09Ja.
14:09Yeah, I'm so sorry, Maggie.
14:13Hey.
14:13Hey.
14:14Listen,
14:15after hanging out
14:16with a man
14:16who was once a boy
14:17who helped a Nazi,
14:18I am realizing
14:20the perils
14:20of needing to be liked.
14:22Tale as old as time.
14:23And you
14:24are going to help me
14:25disarm a World War II
14:27landmine.
14:27That's how
14:28you give an order.
14:30Okay, I like it.
14:31Let's roll.
14:32And when I say
14:32let's roll,
14:33I mean I'm going to
14:34roll over
14:34and the adrenaline
14:35is going to kick in
14:36and I'm going to
14:37stand up
14:38and go.
14:40Ah!
14:41Ah!
14:41Ah!
14:42Oh!
14:43Ha ha.
14:44No adrenaline.
14:45Uh.
14:45Oh my God.
14:46We're going to make it
14:47a FaceTime, okay?
14:47Okay.
14:48Excuse me.
14:49In my own life,
14:50I am always cautious.
14:52I mean,
14:53I literally ran away
14:54from the woman
14:55that I love
14:56and that's why
14:57I'm standing here
14:57right now.
14:58I mean,
14:58I played it safe
14:59once again
15:00and now
15:01I am about to die.
15:04Warning.
15:04Landmine detected.
15:05You said it, brother.
15:06Stop!
15:07Maggie's here!
15:07It's going to be okay now!
15:09Hey, Dad,
15:10can you, uh,
15:11can you see?
15:12Maggie, I can't hear you.
15:13You're on mute.
15:14Maggie!
15:15Oh, wait.
15:16My volume was off.
15:17Yep.
15:17All right, thank God
15:18you're here.
15:18Yeah.
15:19I'm trying to think
15:20of the cool way
15:21to say this.
15:22Uh, so Shaw
15:24is standing.
15:25He's on the landmine.
15:25Shaw's on the landmine.
15:27Shaw!
15:28Don't move!
15:29Trust me!
15:30I won't!
15:31Okay.
15:32Ah.
15:33I can dance.
15:34I can dance.
15:35Rexall was more of a dancer
15:37than an emergency responder.
15:39No shade to Rexall.
15:40Oh, no, no, not at all.
15:41We need more artists
15:42in the world.
15:43Now more than ever.
15:45Shaw!
15:45I'm coming!
15:46Maggie, what are you doing?
15:47Maggie, we can't let you
15:48go out there!
15:50Oh, my God.
15:50Is that what we should have done?
15:52Should we have done that?
15:53I mean, I'm holding the walkie.
16:02Hi.
16:04Hi.
16:06Uh, I'm, I'm...
16:08I wanted to make sure
16:09you're okay.
16:10Yeah.
16:10Maggie, what the hell
16:11are you thinking?
16:13Yeah.
16:14And I'm muting.
16:16Guys, I can't see anything.
16:18What's going on?
16:18Okay, so how do we, um...
16:20get you...
16:21Listen, I've been doing
16:23a lot of thinking out here.
16:24And Ruxa was a very good listener.
16:27I've played it safe my whole life.
16:28And I still ended up right here,
16:30about to explode.
16:33And while I've been standing
16:34on this landmine,
16:34the only thing that is going
16:36through my head over
16:37and over again is that...
16:40I never got a chance to do this.
16:43Okay.
16:53I want to stay like this forever.
16:55I probably should.
16:58Because any more movement
16:59on top of this landmine
17:00is not a good idea.
17:02Landmine!
17:02Landmine!
17:03Landmine!
17:04Okay.
17:04Okay.
17:05Okay.
17:05Dad, we need you.
17:06There you are.
17:07Listen, Char,
17:08we just need to know
17:08what kind of a mine
17:09we're dealing with
17:10so when you stepped on it
17:11to make a tick-tick sound
17:13or a ker-ker-ker
17:15or a click-clack.
17:17A click-clack.
17:18Ah, okay.
17:19Dealing with a German teller mine.
17:21You're lucky it wasn't
17:21a bouncing betty,
17:22which they used
17:23at the beginning of the war,
17:24like in the Sauer Offensive,
17:25and then they used it again
17:25at the...
17:26Shut up!
17:27Tell us what to do
17:28with this mine!
17:29You're really owning
17:30being a jerk.
17:31I like it.
17:32Get to the point!
17:35All right, OXO team,
17:36listen up.
17:37This is big time.
17:38I need absolute perfection
17:40from you or else
17:41this could end in disaster.
17:43Do you understand me?
17:45Sure.
17:46I said,
17:46do you understand me?
17:48Yes, ma'am!
17:49The ruder she is,
17:50the more I want to listen to her.
17:51Me too.
17:52Now, with this era of mine,
17:53you've got to dig
17:54around the plate perimeter,
17:55and I'm going to
17:57stabilize Char
17:59to make sure he doesn't
18:00shift off the mine.
18:02Yeah.
18:02You know,
18:03that's not really necessary.
18:04Okay, well,
18:04you're not here,
18:07so...
18:07Okay.
18:08Okay, almost there.
18:08Perimeter exposed.
18:09All right,
18:10and I got mud on my hands,
18:11but I don't care.
18:12I'm working through.
18:13Good.
18:14Now,
18:14you loosen that hinge,
18:17and you cut
18:18the red wire.
18:20Cut the red wire.
18:22Yep.
18:22My life is a movie.
18:24I am the hero.
18:25Now, I'm going to get the girl.
18:27I better not be the girl.
18:28Okay, back in the movie.
18:28Back in the movie, okay.
18:29Red wire.
18:35Okay.
18:36Okay.
18:36Good.
18:37Okay.
18:37Now.
18:41Yeah.
18:42Ready?
18:43Ready?
18:53No!
18:54No!
18:56Oh, my God!
19:01Hey, stop jumping, guys.
19:02Stop jumping.
19:04Oh, he's right, he's right,
19:05he's right, he's right,
19:05right, no jumping.
19:06Okay, no more jumping.
19:07Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:08How about that?
19:10Sucker was a dud the whole time.
19:12Oh, look at Ruxo
19:13stretching his legs.
19:14Now, he's out of the mood.
19:15I can't believe we were freaking out.
19:17There was no danger.
19:27Yeah, I'm leaving the Uxo team.
19:31Oh, oh!
19:32Oh!
19:39Wow, I mean, so much for Minnesota Nights.
19:42I know, right?
19:42I mean, these housewives are vicious.
19:44The last episode?
19:45Nora bit Laney.
19:47Bit?
19:48Bitter.
19:49Aw, I like Laney.
19:50It's awesome, I love it.
19:51Hey, listen, hey, I already said this once today,
19:53but you were right.
19:55I was too worried about needing to be liked,
19:57and I actually am feeling myself as a leader.
20:01Good.
20:01You're my kid,
20:02so you're inherently better than other people.
20:05You shouldn't be tiptoeing around that fact.
20:06Just kick ass, take names.
20:08And just be a jerk to everybody but you.
20:10No, you're good.
20:11There we go.
20:12Yeah, I can do that.
20:13I'm too.
20:16Yep.
20:39Okay.
20:40Okay. Ruxo, when I first met you, I thought you were a glorified Roomba.
20:47I was wrong. You were a good friend in my time of need. Changed my life.
20:55For this, I am forever indebted to you.
20:59I can dance.
21:03Yeah, you can.
21:05And he'll dance in robot heaven. You bet he will.
21:08Yeah, he will. And now, Ruxo will be laid to rest in a place of honor.
21:14The good dumpster. The one that doesn't smell as bad.
21:35It's going so well!
21:40The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good
21:43dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The
21:43good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster.
21:43The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good
21:43dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The
21:43good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster.
21:43The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dumpster. The good dump
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