#nostalgia #tvcommercials #videogamecommercials #gamingcommercials #oldvideogamecommercials #90scommercials #90sads #1990scommercials #2000scommercials #2000sads #2001commercials #1991 #1992 #blockbuster #tacobell #nintendo #nintendocommercials #mcdonalds #dailymotion #youtube #facebook #twitter #twitch #motiongraphics #deezer #tv #dlive #instagram #stream #motion #twitchstreamer #fightingmentalillness #twitchclips #twitchretweet #twitchaffiliate #twitchshare #ant #scribaland #tiktok #greece #spotify #gelio #games #vimeo #google #motionmate #youtuber #greekquotes #vhs #fullmovies #fullmovie #Music #Video #Funny #Gaming #Viral #Trending #Movie #Trailers #Sports #News #Entertainment #Education #Howto #DIY #Travel #Food #Animals #Cars #Technology #Science #top #acharliebrownthanksgiving #timetraveltv #charliebrown #2000 #a #animated #movie #movies #anime #videogames
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:06Oh, my God.
00:34I thought you were going to wake me at 6.30.
00:36I also said women like men who are shaped like potatoes.
00:39Can you find the pattern here?
00:41I had the egg dream again.
00:43Aye, aye, aye.
00:45What do you think an egg dream means?
00:48Probably an omen.
00:49A good omen?
00:49How many good omens involve things that come out of a chicken's butt?
00:53There only has to be one.
00:59Hey, that's my bathroom.
01:04I didn't know you had your own toothbrush, Ratberg.
01:06Why would I need my own toothbrush?
01:14Good morning, shower.
01:16Good morning, Dilbert.
01:18Don't you do enough engineering at work?
01:20Work is just meetings.
01:21This is engineering.
01:22If this works, someday all showers will be voice activated.
01:26Is it that hard to turn the knobs?
01:29It's not that it's hard, it's unnecessary.
01:3199, please.
01:3399.
01:38400.
01:41Nice try.
01:42But the shower is calibrated to respond to my voice only.
01:45Well, you think of everything.
01:46I'm cautious.
01:47That's why you had training wheels on your bike until you were 17.
01:50I was 14.
01:5114.
01:5314.
01:53Ah!
01:5599!
01:59Don't do that.
02:00Where'd you get the voice for that thing?
02:02Sounds like the computer from that stupid movie.
02:05What was it?
02:05Something, something, a space odyssey?
02:08It wasn't something, something, a space odyssey.
02:11It was 2001, a space...
02:12Ah!
02:16On the bus side, you look very clean.
02:40On the bus side, you look very clean.
02:42Oh!
02:45Oh!
02:54Oh!
03:02Oh!
03:03Oh, oh!
03:05Oh!
03:06Oh, oh, oh!
03:37THE END
03:38Just checking
03:49Wally
03:50Yes
03:50Push the button
03:51Why?
03:52Just because I'm standing near them?
03:54Yes
03:54I pushed the button yesterday
03:57Wally
03:57Do what Alice says
03:59Now why should I
04:00I had the egg dream again last night
04:07I've often said there's nothing more interesting
04:10Than hearing about someone's dream
04:11Eggs
04:12You're not the first engineer to have that dream
04:14You too?
04:16No, I'm sane
04:17Old Jack Cooper had that dream
04:18Right before he turned into
04:20The chicken man
04:22It's impossible to turn into a chicken
04:24A chicken?
04:25Yes
04:25But chicken man?
04:26That can happen
04:27What happened to Jack Cooper?
04:29He was an engineer
04:29Much like you
04:31Until they put him in charge of a project
04:33The frustration started building up
04:35He started having the egg dream
04:37He'd stand up during meetings
04:38All agitated
04:39And he'd wave his arms around
04:40Like a chicken
04:41What project was he working on?
04:42That's the thing
04:43No one could agree on the project name
04:46That's what got him
04:47What happened?
04:48I think he's with the circus
04:50Poor Clucker
04:57Thank you for calling
04:59Please dial your password and press pound
05:03You have 937 messages
05:07All of which are marked urgent
05:10First urgent message
05:12This is Ted
05:12I'm just calling to tell you I sent you some email
05:17Well, that's all
05:20All messages deleted
05:27Jeez, the network is slow today
05:31Too slow
05:33Oh no
05:37Is it?
05:38Yes
05:38Nothing but resumes
05:39People are bailing out
05:41There must be a problem with our new flagship product
05:44Ah, the herbal throat lozenges?
05:46I told them at the rollout meeting
05:47That anthrax was a bacteria
05:49Not an herb
05:50No, you didn't
05:51I was thinking it pretty hard
05:52Oh, some poor marketing executive
05:54Will have to take the fall for this one
05:57Bob, you made quite a mess
05:58With the herbal lozenges product line
06:00Don't believe everything you read
06:02In all the major news outlets
06:04Try one
06:06Worth a shot
06:07Bob, you're like a son to me
06:09You don't have a son
06:10That's where I'm headed here
06:11Oh
06:13Now, this isn't easy for either of us
06:15But I have to ask you
06:17To take your huge executive severance package
06:19And go find a higher paying job at another company
06:22This is barbaric
06:23I have given my soul to this company
06:31I've heard a rumor
06:32Ow, ow, ow
06:34I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry
06:35I heard a rumor
06:37Our lozenges product wiped out of town
06:39I can't believe it
06:40Those lozenges were made of natural ingredients
06:43We can see the devastation
06:45But how does this make you feel?
06:48My throat is moist
06:49And the raspiness is gone
06:53Back to you
06:58He's always late
06:59What's he doing that's more important than us?
07:06Uh-oh
07:08Drawer's almost full
07:10I'll need a new desk
07:12Hey, Alice
07:13Lookie
07:16So, what's life like in your village, Tongni?
07:18And tell me everything
07:19I'm not paying for the call
07:21Well, troops
07:22I assume you've all been informed
07:23About the problems with our flagship product
07:25Well, there's no point in killing a dead horse
07:28You mean there's no point in beating a dead horse
07:30Why would anyone beat a dead horse?
07:35Why would anyone kill a dead horse?
07:36Maybe it'd kick you
07:37It's dead
07:38And so is every customer who used our flagship product
07:41Now, we have a warehouse filled with lethal lozenges
07:45We are currently converting for usage in ancillary markets
07:48Buttons
07:51Coinage
07:53Teddy bear eyes
07:56The point is, we all must embrace change
07:58No, that is very bad
07:59We don't like that
08:00Well, we have to make up for the revenue shortfall
08:02And there are only two ways to do that
08:03Create a new product
08:05Or make massive, painful budget cuts
08:08Let's make a new product
08:11That is exactly my plan
08:13I love a plan
08:14Excellent plan
08:15Phase one
08:17We need a name for the product
08:20That's actually the last step
08:22You've got the transparencies out of order
08:24He doesn't like being corrected
08:26Now he must do something terrible to you
08:28Something to teach us all a lesson
08:31Gilbert
08:33I'd like you to take the lead on this project
08:39Step one
08:40The name
08:42The name is the last thing you do
08:44Oh, use some common sense, son
08:46If you don't know something's name
08:47How do you know what to build?
08:48Focus groups
08:49Market research
08:50Detailed user specifications
08:52And the name
08:55Do you think the guy who invented the mouse pad
08:58Started with the name?
08:59What's a mouse pad?
09:01Feminine protection for mice
09:05If we don't know what the product is
09:07We'll never agree on its name
09:08We'll have meeting after meeting after meeting
09:10Everyone will want to have input
09:12Because input is much easier than doing real work
09:14The only way we'll ever get that many people to agree is
09:16Look!
09:18Look!
09:19Look!
09:19Look!
09:20Look!
09:20Look!
09:20Oh, that's not a good sign
09:23I am not the chicken man
09:25I'll get you a name
09:26Anyway, it's better than massive, painful budget cuts
09:29Actually, we're doing that, too
09:30It's being announced right now
09:34I got your budget cuts right here
09:38We expect some looting
09:40Maybe you people can just sit here while this happens
09:43But not me
09:58How hard can it be to name our product?
10:00That Jack Cooper just didn't have what it takes
10:07That happens to be the best way to stomp out a fire
10:10Dilbert, help!
10:12I've been shot
10:13I've been shot
10:13I've been shot
10:14I have a few problems of my own, you know
10:16Yeah, I heard about the name thing
10:17That's a drag
10:24I'm okay
10:26Everything's okay
10:27Things could be worse
10:30Oh my...
10:40Why don't you call your product the Vectralux 9000?
10:43Why would I call it that?
10:45I'm just trying to help
10:46I know it's hard for you to come up with a name
10:49What with your poor verbal skills
10:50There's nothing wrong with my verbal skills
10:52It only seems that way because my math skills are so high
10:55There's no reason to get all newswardic about this
10:58He's more pultacious than newswardic
11:00Whatever that means
11:01I am not
11:02There, there
11:04I know what you're doing
11:05Your Scrabble mind games will not work on me
11:09It's all very modipulous if you ask me
11:24Why don't you call your product the Gruntmaster 6000?
11:28What kind of product do you see when you imagine a Gruntmaster 6000?
11:32Well, it's a stripped-down version of the Gruntmaster 9000, of course
11:36But it's software upgradable
11:38Can we just play?
11:39All right, then
11:39Standard Scrabble rules apply
11:41No kicking, biting, or slapping
11:43No projectiles of any kind
11:44Name-calling?
11:45Only on your own turn
11:50It
11:51Give me four big ones, you wrinkled toad
11:54Yes! Yes!
11:55It?
11:56That's not a word
11:57I challenge
11:58You challenge it?
12:00Give me the dictionary
12:04What kind of stupid dictionary is this?
12:08Whipsters?
12:09I think it's the one your company makes
12:11That would explain it
12:12Explain it?
12:14What's an it?
12:16Quixotic
12:17That's triple word score plus 50 for using all seven letters
12:21Q and the X
12:22That's...
12:23152 stinking totally lucky points
12:25Woo!
12:26Woo!
12:28Yes!
12:29In your face, math boy!
12:35I am so tired of seeing that dance
12:40Quizzing, that's 188
12:44I'm pretty sure Scrabble only has one Z
12:48That's the kind of thinking that allowed you to lose 400 games in a row
12:56Thank you all for coming
12:58Especially those of you who weren't invited and have no reason to be here
13:01Sure, no problem
13:02Whatever
13:03To save time, I've hired a consultant to help us find a name for our next product
13:09He doesn't look like any consultant I've ever seen
13:13Recommendation
13:15Downsize the loud guy
13:16Bye!
13:17Take it back!
13:17Anyone else want a piece of me?
13:22As you probably know, all the good product names have been trademarked by companies who are competent
13:28Competent? How are we going to compete with that?
13:30There are still plenty of names left in the areas of Greek mythology, bodily secretions, diseases, and everything involving intestines
13:38I like all of those things
13:39Remember, the first rule of brainstorming is to openly mock the opinions of others
13:44I thought it was the other way around
13:46Swift
13:47Let's start with you accounting guys
13:50Walter's good at this creative stuff
13:51He just named his baby
13:52How is Walter Jr.?
13:54She's fine, thanks for asking
13:57Yeah, that was a dry hole
13:58Do we have anyone here from marketing?
14:04Lie to me
14:05Our next upgrade will solve the problem
14:09I like the sound of it, but how do you spell
14:12Walter has a name for the product
14:14How about Ford?
14:18Hmm, that seems to be taken by the Ford Motor Company
14:26Maybe Ford will sell the name?
14:29Everyone has a price
14:30You're not allowed to talk anymore
14:31How about something from the disease category?
14:34They can't all be that bad
14:35How about seboria?
14:37I like the sound of it
14:39Seboria
14:42Seboria
14:43That's not a disease, it's a condition
14:45It doesn't have to be a disease
14:46Let's stay focused
14:49Diseases, secretions, Greeks
14:51How about Sisyphus
14:52The guy who pushed a rock up a hill for eternity
14:54That fits this project
14:56Hmm, I like it
14:57It conveys a sense of playfulness
15:00It's supposed to convey a sense of futility
15:02You have to look at it from the rock's point of view
15:06How about toe fungus?
15:07That's a disease
15:10Cellulite
15:11Cellula
15:13Cellulax
15:13And when you take your sock off
15:15And you can still see the indent on your ankle
15:17Is that called anything?
15:18That's it
15:18I can't take it anymore
15:20I will not turn into the chicken man
15:22Pick a name
15:23Any name
15:24Here
15:26Acorn
15:27Acorn, okay, that's the name
15:29I know it's taken
15:30But it's just a little mom and pop dry cleaners
15:32We can buy their name
15:33Okay then, buy it
15:34We'll present it to my boss next week
15:37I feel the curse of the chicken man lifting already
15:40Now all you need is a second name to present at the same time
15:43A really bad name
15:45Why do we need a second name?
15:46It's a decoy
15:47Always give your boss two choices
15:49One to reject
15:50One to approve
15:51It creates the illusion of leadership
15:53You always bring me two choices
15:56For you, both choices are always real
16:01Oh
16:01All right, we need a decoy name that's plausible yet frighteningly bad
16:05Hmm
16:06How about Salmonella
16:08In honor of Rooster Boy here?
16:17Can I speak with the owner?
16:18Why?
16:19So you can make false accusations about us wearing customers' clothing to sporting events?
16:23I defy you to prove it
16:25No, I...
16:25You don't scare me, you potato-shaped bully
16:28You four-eyed, tall, four-headed, short-pants man
16:31I'm not here to complain
16:33Oh, well, we're not French
16:35Well, why do you talk?
16:36Because we're rude
16:37It just sounds better with a French accent
16:39So what do you want?
16:40My company would like to buy the name Acorn
16:42We'll pay...
16:43Never!
16:44Acorn was our only son's nickname
16:46It is not for sale as long as his store still stands
16:49I need that name
16:51Leave the premises now
16:52Or I will be forced to call the strip mall security guard
16:55Who, although old and feeble, will whip you and beat you without mercy
16:59Until you sing campfire songs in the voice of a little girl
17:05Thanks for all your help
17:06The Acorn Dry Cleaners won't last forever
17:08Just let nature take its course
17:10Nature? How long will that take?
17:12Not long
17:14I'm part of nature
17:19Would you like to try a vibrating chair?
17:21Get out of my way, you pervert
17:30Will you be sitting down in any of these?
17:32No
17:32I'm going to run for it
17:34And you might want to do the same
17:42Please, Mother of God!
17:54Remind me to never negotiate with you
17:59Am I late?
18:00Right on time, sir
18:02Oh
18:03In that case, I've got time to make some phone calls
18:07That is so rude
18:13Am I late now?
18:14Yes
18:15But it's not because you're an inconsiderate dolt
18:17It's because you're more important than us
18:20All right
18:21So, what do you have for me?
18:22We need your approval for the name
18:24Wait
18:26The smell of fresh ficus
18:28Yes, it transports me back to my youth
18:31Summers in the Catskill Mountains
18:33Settle in
18:35This could be a long one
18:39We'd all go to Turtle Pond
18:41To swim and laugh and play games amongst the wild ficus
18:48One day
18:49One day
18:50Tragedy struck
18:54A turtle made off with my trunks
19:00I stayed in the water as long as I could
19:02But the water was cold
19:03Soon
19:05A crowd formed
19:07They gave me a nickname on the spot
19:09One that still haunts me
19:12Acorn
19:16My awful non-French parents even named their dry-cleaning store
19:21Acorn
19:29But that's all in the past
19:30What do you have for me?
19:31Well, we just need your approval on our next product name
19:36Salmonella
19:37Salmonella
19:39I like it
19:40God
19:45What?
19:46Nothing, no?
19:47What's my other choice?
19:48People usually give me two choices
19:50Ah
19:52Sibiria
19:53Isn't that a disease?
19:54It's a condition
19:56I like the first one
19:57By this time next year
19:58I want every person in the country to be driving a salmonella
20:01It's not necessarily a car
20:03It's not
20:04Then why are we giving it a car name?
20:07What else do you have?
20:08How about the grunt master?
20:10The grunt
20:11Master
20:11I don't know
20:13It's missing something
20:14Grunt master
20:16Six thousand
20:17That's it
20:19Less features than the grunt master nine thousand
20:21But just as fun
20:24Good work, Dilbert
20:25Wait
20:28Do I detect the faint odor of chicken?
20:40Did you ever come up with a name for your product?
20:43It's a long story.
20:45Gruntmaster 6000.
20:47Really? That doesn't sound like a long story.
20:50It is a long story.
20:51I made a suggestion. You took it. Not so long.
20:54There was a lot more. We had meetings and pre-meetings and a dancing acorn.
20:59Burned a strip mall and I almost turned into a chicken.
21:02And then you used my suggestion. Gruntmaster 6000.
21:07Whose turn is it?
21:08You know what I must do now, don't you?
21:10Oh, no. Please, don't.
21:28You know what I mean?
21:29Oh, no.
21:29Oh, no.
Comments