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00:01This is Radio Free Boston with an update.
00:04We only have 4-0-3.
00:07Biggie Boston was unsuccessful.
00:09We're fighting for you.
00:12For everyone still inside, keep your head down and stay safe.
00:16We're our main at Europe behind the lines.
00:18Tonight's message is arrived.
00:19Turn your dial to 101.6.
00:2399.2.
00:25This is Radio Free America, forever the sound of freedom.
00:30There's a different possibility of the recent sections again.
00:32We're giving a statement.
01:16You want to know what it was like for me, growing up in Gilead?
01:21I'm ashamed to say that I believed in Gilead once.
01:25I guess it's easier to accept a story, even a childish one,
01:31rather than believe that the people around you are monsters.
01:39Blessed morning, Agnes.
01:41In this story I'm telling, I'm not really sure what year it was.
01:46Sorry.
01:47It's hard to remember actual dates because girls were forbidden to have calendars.
01:51Blessed morning.
01:52Just reading one could cost you a finger.
02:04You learn to mark time in other ways.
02:08I know I still had my dollhouse.
02:10It looked just like our real house.
02:14It had my bedroom and the dining room.
02:17A wife's parlor.
02:18Even an attic where the Marthas left.
02:20They're in the badlands looking for me.
02:24We're in the zoo getting out of the breeze.
02:27But the two folks are gone free.
02:30I'm free.
02:35I was a plum.
02:38I didn't have my period yet.
02:40In my world then, I made all the difference.
02:45It was all we wanted.
02:47And it also terrified us.
03:27The commander doll was always doing very important work.
03:31Just like my father.
03:32Keeping us safe from heretics and Mayday terrorists.
03:51The Martha dolls were always busy.
03:54But at night they would let the little girl doll sit in the kitchen with them.
03:58They would make her cinnamon toast and they would all talk.
04:09There is a wife doll.
04:11In blue, of course.
04:13That would be Paula.
04:15Who was my new stepmother then.
04:18Blessed morning, Agnes dear.
04:20Rosa, how's your leg?
04:21Please tell me it's better.
04:23Yes, ma'am.
04:25It's kind of you to ask.
04:26Praise be his mercy.
04:29The high dusting is catching up with us, I'm afraid.
04:32Yes, ma'am.
04:33I'll do that after the commander's meeting.
04:40Thank you, Zilla.
04:42Zilla was new.
04:43Her tongue was removed as punishment before she was posted with us.
04:48Probably for blasphemy.
04:50That was a big one for some wives.
04:53Well, she's certainly an improvement.
04:55That last one we had was a chatty Cathy.
04:58Sometimes, when I was playing with the dollhouse, I would lock the Paula doll in the attic.
05:04Which was not nice.
05:05The Paula doll would pound on the door and scream, but the little girl doll would pay no attention.
05:11And sometimes she would laugh.
05:13Is that the new skirt?
05:16Up then.
05:21Well, don't you look pretty as a picture.
05:28Mother.
05:30Hmm.
05:31I was worried I'd make you look gawky.
05:33But no.
05:40Praise be his mercy.
05:42For not making me look too gawky.
05:44For not making me look too gawky.
05:44For not making me look too gawky.
05:46I'm an irritant to Paula.
05:50She wants me married and gone.
05:53I was born in the sinful before world.
05:57Please keep the counter clean, Risa.
05:59We don't want to get guns again.
06:01Yes, ma'am.
06:05Don't slouch, dear.
06:07Slouching girls get fat husbands.
06:29Under his eyes.
06:31Sweetie, bye.
06:32Bye, Rosa.
06:49Once, when we were pinks, I smiled at a boy on the playground.
06:53Theon's taped my mouth shut and made me stand in the dining hall for two days,
06:57holding the sign for a slut.
06:59That was for smiling.
07:01I wonder what would happen if I kissed one.
07:40When we became plums, we started going on the field trips.
07:45They were fun.
07:47Some parts more than others.
08:08I met you in a restaurant.
08:24Come along, girls.
08:27Come on, girls.
08:27Come on, girls.
08:29And tell you what I'm dreaming.
08:35Dreaming and it's free.
08:37Right, right.
08:37Right, right, right.
08:38Dreaming.
08:41Dreaming and it's free.
08:43I don't want to live on charity.
08:50Message, free or is it fantasy?
09:00gross hold it enough god's justice is beautiful i'm sorry aunt vidala friends these men
09:11do you know what crime they committed
09:15yes shunammai rape avidala that's what the red x is for it's for rape praise be
09:23friends these men these horrible men these rapists you say rapists rapists yes
09:34thank you shunammai i'm not raper i didn't know that friends it's a ghastly story
09:41these men stole a young girl much like yourselves this young girl was the kind of like being the
09:47center of attention spirited girl that kind of girl often earns a violent end for herself
09:55praise be his judgment these men saw this girl and they were overcome by their urges
10:04they came in the night and took her from her own bed what about her guardians some of them were
10:12her
10:12guardians the urges of men are terrible things and those urges must be curbed that is the burden
10:19that god has personally laid upon each of you just by existing we are mortally dangerous to otherwise
10:26perfectly good men they were helpless to resist us even us the daughters of commanders the most godly of
10:36girls
10:56i was a precious flower
10:58i was a precious flower then why did i sometimes feel like a prized pig
11:32Here we go.
11:36At the Aunt Lydia school, pink dresses were for little girls.
11:40Plum dresses were for older girls like us.
11:43Predestined to marry high Gilead commanders once we became eligible,
11:47which only happened if God blessed us with a period.
11:50Then we became greens and got pins.
11:56Will this be the fruit?
11:59You're insane. The skirt looks fine.
12:01May the Lord open, don't bother.
12:03Even God knows Paula has no taste.
12:08Becca was the first person I met when we moved here from Colorado.
12:12She was my best friend.
12:14Except we weren't allowed to have best friends.
12:17Leon said that best friends led to keeping secrets.
12:19And secrets led to disobedience.
12:21And disobedient girls became women who were immoral, obviously.
12:25We've been sent good weather.
12:26This blessing.
12:29You have your dress fitting?
12:30Keep moving girls, let's go.
12:32After lunch.
12:33Becca was already green.
12:35She was getting ready to be matched.
12:37She was moving on without me.
12:39But we didn't talk about that.
12:40This will be our third seamstress.
12:43My mother thinks if she gets the bodice just right,
12:46everyone will forget my dad's a dentist.
12:48Maybe you should dress as a tooth.
12:50Blessed day.
12:51Blessed day.
12:52We've been sent good weather.
12:53But I received what's wrong.
12:55Very, very cute hair.
12:56Yeah, I definitely agree.
12:58Thanks.
12:59You're Martha.
12:59Blessed be yours too.
13:00Seriously.
13:01My Martha's socks.
13:02I look like I have a bed head.
13:04Tunamite.
13:04Chitter chatter, chitter chatter.
13:06Flap your tongue around and you're likely to lose it.
13:09Yes, Aunt Madonna.
13:10What a graceful day, girls.
13:12More taste.
13:13Let's see.
13:17Aunt Lydia was a legend.
13:19Blessed day, Aunt Lydia.
13:20She had been worshipped, then vilified.
13:22Thank you, Aunt Lydia.
13:23Then worshipped again.
13:24Blessed day, Aunt Lydia.
13:26In the four years since the war of Massachusetts,
13:29the purges had happened.
13:31As always, those remaining were able to shape history as they liked.
13:35Some people were hung.
13:36And some had schools named after them.
13:42At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived, and enslaved by all kinds of passions and envy.
13:50We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.
13:55But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us.
14:01Not because of the righteous things we've done, but because of his mercy.
14:06He saved us through the wall.
14:07White was for the pearl girls.
14:09They were new arrivals from outside of Gilead.
14:12Converts to our godly struggle.
14:14We might become heirs, having the hope of eternal life.
14:16Aunt Lydia and her missionaries gathered them from all over the world.
14:20They were mostly runaways.
14:22Of course they had to be young, and possibly fertile.
14:26Weirdos.
14:34The aunts said the pearl girls came eager for a new start.
14:37They were even more eager to prove their godliness by telling on you to the aunts.
14:42We all knew someone who had been ratted out by a pearl girl.
14:46The passion of the converted.
14:49What a pain in the ass.
15:12A Following
15:15Nice work Constance.
15:18Dancing
15:19Dancing
15:30pretty daisy's hold uh really thank you aunt este they're actually black eyed susan should
15:37you be thanking me no no thank him and este making me able and for the flowers he made in
15:45the thread
15:48pray forgive me you are forgiven just be mindful around alfadala
15:57aunt gabbana blessed morning
16:05agnes aunt lydia would like to speak with you
16:13come along agnes get up please i'm sure it's good news back to work
16:55by tradition only dead people are allowed to have statues i have been given one while still
17:01alive praise be your works aunt lydia i have been prematurely petrified
17:15agnes mackenzie how the time goes by i have been watching you for quite a while now
17:24why aunt lydia soon to be eligible may god make me truly worthy
17:30ah you will be rewarded if you are free of sin of course
17:36do you know why this statue was erected
17:41so you can always be watching over us
17:43yes we inspire the world with our good works agnes do you agree
17:48yes aunt lydia excellent i have good work that needs doing helping a new friend feel welcome
18:03agnes this is daisy one of my precious precious pearls recently arrived daisy may be joining your class
18:13she's going to be a plum perhaps i'd like you to show her around make her feel comfortable
18:20be her shepherdess it's an honor for you agnes
18:25thank you aunt lydia daisy be a good girl and stay with agnes
18:30lambs don't stray
18:32yes aunt lydia thank you aunt lydia
18:38wonderful go in grace
18:50blessed fruit may the lord open
19:03painting and sketching
19:11music classroom
19:18comportments this way
19:20domestic management is upstairs with aunt l'oreal
19:22hospitality decorating
19:24culinary arts
19:26fiber arts like embroidery vase making
19:31you can make a tablecloth if you dare and scripture class
19:36price please word
19:39weirdo
19:42aunt lydia didn't tell me much about you
19:46did she tell you anything about me
19:50nothing
19:50miss agnes
20:02did she ask you to watch me
20:06of course
20:07miss agnes
20:10to learn how to behave properly
20:15discipline and corrections are in the on swing
20:17you only go there when you earn it
20:24and lunch
20:24less it be his bounty
20:32this is the dining room
20:33right obviously
20:36let's eat
20:40you cannot be mistress of a house
20:43unless you are the mistress of yourself
20:46do you understand me girls
20:47yes aunt madala
20:51it is an offense to god to waste food with poor preparation
20:55if your meal is unacceptable speak firmly to your martha
21:00do you understand me girls
21:02yes aunt madala
21:04friends
21:05let us give thanks to him
21:11and
21:12god is great
21:14god is good
21:15thank you god
21:16for our food
21:17by his blessings
21:19we are fed
21:20give us lord our daily bread
21:22amen
21:25girls
21:28you may socialize
21:45what is all this then
21:47this is daisy
21:48aunt lydia asked me to make her feel welcome
21:51hey
21:53it's a blessing to meet you all
21:56get out
22:07we're enjoying very fine weather
22:10by god's blessing
22:14it's a high pressure system i think
22:18daisy
22:19pray
22:20where do you hail from
22:22toronto
22:23canada
22:24miss
22:25shunami
22:28that's a beautiful name
22:30it is
22:33i imagine canada is very different from gilead
22:37toronto has been forsaken by god
22:40and defiled by satan
22:42it is suffocating in sin
22:48so do you miss it
22:52i pray it will be swallowed whole by the earth
23:00may he hear your prayer
23:09daisy
23:10do you like
23:11do you like soft serve ice cream
23:15food is one of his miracles
23:16they have it here
23:18strawberry and vanilla
23:20hold up we'll take you
23:22yeah i can make you a swirl cone
23:23i'm sort of an expert
23:26aunt lydia urged me to stay with miss agnes
23:28ice cream is definitely one of his miracles
23:32and you wouldn't want to insult god
23:36you should get some
23:38come on
23:56they stuck you with the pearl girl
23:58what did you do wrong
23:59she didn't do anything
24:01this is unprecedented
24:03so what did aunt lydia say
24:05she said she's new here
24:07i'm just supposed to be a shepherdess
24:09i don't like her
24:10she didn't seem very nice
24:11well you can't trust her
24:12she'll tell aunt lydia everything
24:14she's a pearl girl
24:17becca
24:18your martha is here to collect you
24:21yes on this day
24:25my fitting
24:27pray for me
24:28i wish i was green this season
24:30i wish we all were together
24:34it's starting to move very very fast
24:38it's a dress
24:39not a husband
24:42not yet
24:43well i can't wait to have a husband
24:44becca
24:45free
24:45come along
24:46shake a leg
24:48go with grace
24:51and grace
24:52i go
25:10you should tell on her
25:11you're pearl girl
25:13for what
25:14just say that she gossips
25:16or has a foul tongue
25:17or that she ran off to go get ice cream
25:20that could be possible
25:21she'd be punished
25:23you're an awful person
25:24stop
25:25i didn't say to make her a gender traitor or anything
25:28just something small
25:32agnes
25:33i know that you are very very nice
25:35but it's time to plumb up
25:37and get her before she can see you
25:58cinnamon toast
26:00praise be his bounty
26:07is it awful
26:10god never sends us more than we can bear
26:13sometimes we just get close though
26:18becca had her final fitting
26:20she must be happy to be getting a new dress
26:24i'm sure she looks perfect
26:26she's a beautiful girl
26:29she could get an offer
26:30from a commander
26:32at the dance
26:33her dad could
26:36she could marry one who lives in wyoming
26:39or anywhere
26:42not maryland
26:44she won't move far if she marries a high commander
26:47they need to live near the capital
26:49she could marry one who
26:52doesn't let his wife have any friends
26:55try not to think about it
26:59rosa how did you meet your husband
27:02before i mean
27:08we met in a bookstore
27:12almost everyone we knew then was meeting online on tinder
27:15bumble
27:18we met in the cookbook section
27:21what's tinder
27:24it's not something you're ever going to need to know pumpkin
27:28blessed evening ma'am
27:33the commander will be home thursday
27:35has some things for the marthas to do
27:38you said your leg was better
27:41it is ma'am
27:44good
27:46head up to the third floor
27:47we'll start there
27:51yes ma'am
28:01i grew up riding
28:03when a horse would come up late
28:05my father would shoot it
28:09it was hard
28:12but it was the merciful thing to do
28:15haven't i told you that story
28:18no mother
28:24i learned that
28:25sometimes you have to be hard
28:29sometimes you have to cut off
28:30weak branches
28:31and bothersome ones
28:34you'll understand when you're running your own household
28:39best evening
28:40best evening
28:42best evening
29:44Posture, Agnes.
29:45I'm sorry, I'm a darling.
29:52Plums, please assemble in the dining hall.
29:55Hurry along.
29:56Kings, to your classes.
29:58Chop, chop.
30:25Let's sit tight inside this.
30:26Let's go.
30:40Let's go.
30:49Blessed day.
30:51How was I?
30:52May the Lord open.
30:54Fine.
30:56Shut up.
30:57It was fine.
30:59I feel like Puffy's leaves.
31:08Blessed day, graceful friends.
31:10We need your energy.
31:12Because we have some difficult work to do today.
31:16For him.
31:23Are you ready?
31:24Yes, I'm okay.
31:36Hello, someone's in trouble.
31:39Good.
31:40He's the gross one.
31:42This man is a sinner.
31:44Hidden amongst us.
31:45He was found touching himself.
31:48Abusing himself.
31:49On school grounds.
31:52Gilead trusted him to protect you.
31:55God's most precious girls.
31:58Instead, he chose wickedness.
32:01We do not play with the power of creation.
32:05What are they going to do to him?
32:07Quiet.
32:08He deserves our judgment.
32:10We do not relish in it.
32:11You are not blameless, girls.
32:15Shame upon any of you that tempt a man.
32:19Now, this is your decision.
32:22You will have to make many difficult decisions when you are wives.
32:27So, what do you say, girls?
32:30Should this man go unpunished?
32:33Hey.
32:34Punished.
32:35Or should he pay?
32:38Quiet!
32:40Quiet!
32:42Quiet!
32:45Quiet!
32:47Quiet!
32:49Quiet!
32:51Quiet!
32:53Quiet!
33:04Quiet!
33:05Quiet!
33:05I am so proud of the women you are becoming!
33:09Quiet!
33:18Quiet!
33:19Quiet!
33:21Quiet!
33:22Quiet!
33:23Quiet!
33:25Oh, my God.
33:38Oh, my God.
33:41Craig, are you okay?
33:43I'm fine.
33:45Bridge be your concern.
33:47I'm sorry.
34:09Daisy? Daisy?
34:14Fuck.
34:16What the fuck was that?
34:17They broke the rules.
34:19They cut it off.
34:20I saw his arm.
34:22Jesus Christ, he was fucking wide awake.
34:24For fuck's sake.
34:25Jesus, what the fuck?
34:31I'm sorry.
34:33Agnes.
34:34Agnes.
34:36Don't.
34:37Don't tell.
34:39Oh, sweetie.
34:41Agnes, help Daisy get cleaned up.
34:44Oh.
35:01How do you feel?
35:07They told us about it some of these.
35:12But I didn't think it'd be like that.
35:15Like what?
35:26Thank you for taking care of me.
35:32When Aunt Lydia gives you an assignment, you do it.
35:37Miss Agnes, I am so sorry.
35:39I committed blasphemy.
35:43You were unwell.
35:45I took his name in vain.
35:47Agnes, there's no excuse.
35:51I know I must confess.
35:54Okay.
35:57Aunt Lydia is in charge of punishing pro girls.
36:02Okay.
36:06Praise be her discipline.
36:09I need to learn.
36:17Do you think she'll cut out my tongue?
36:21There are stories.
36:24For you, no.
36:25Not for this.
36:26Probably not.
36:30Okay.
36:33If it's God's will.
36:35If it's God's will.
36:36If it's God's will.
36:38If it's God's will.
36:40I can't.
36:40Agnes, I can't.
36:41It's okay.
36:43You don't have to.
36:46You don't have to.
36:48It was just us.
36:51It was just us.
37:06God sees our sins.
37:08It was just us.
37:14We'll pray together.
37:16We'll show contrition.
37:20God is merciful.
37:23The aunts, not so much sometimes.
37:28Are you sure?
37:33Our secret.
37:42Shunemite said Daisy was dangerous.
37:45She was right, of course.
37:48She said you should never, ever trust a pro girl.
37:52But that was exactly what I did.
38:05Blessed night, my pearls.
38:08May God protect you.
38:12God bless you.
38:13God bless you.
38:37Amen.
39:38Paperclip Club, sit tight.
39:40That's it for tonight.
40:13Oh, my life is changing every day.
40:28Oh, my dreams never quite as a team, never quite as a team.
40:42I know I've had liked this before, but nothing, and even more.
40:50Because it came from me
40:58When I open up and see
41:01This person's falling here is me
41:05A different way to be
41:33It was still cold
41:34But I remember the nights were getting shorter
41:38The shorebirds were back
41:39You could hear them really high up
41:42A sure sign of spring
41:45I didn't know who my mom was yet
41:48My real mom
41:51That would come soon
41:54I had no idea how much that would change things
41:59Without calendars, you learn to mark time in other ways
42:02It was when I became eligible
42:05And when I met Daisy
42:08It was when it all started
42:12To the amazing mind
42:16To understanding and surprise
42:20With everything you made
42:52Oh my life
42:54Dreams in me
42:55Dreams in me
43:19It was when I woke up and gave it
43:20Oh my life
43:29At the end angel
43:31Than a girl
43:31From McKinney
43:31Whose way
43:34Would you better
43:35One
43:35Do
43:36You
43:38Help me
43:40And
43:41You
43:42Do
43:42Do
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