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00:03Don't look away
00:16I might just do this all day
00:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:32Welcome!
00:34Welcome to a brand new series of Taskmaster!
00:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:41Five fresh comedians have been prepared in our laughter kitchen
00:45and are about to be thrown into the buffet of fun
00:48to see if any of them have what it takes
00:50to be a main course at the Giggle Feast.
00:52I hope so.
00:53I am Henry VIII of Chuckles,
00:55and my big belly is in need of laughs.
00:58Yum-yum!
00:59LAUGHTER
01:01So, let's meet our new cast of competitors
01:03and marvel at their reputations and stature
01:07while they're still intact.
01:09Please welcome...
01:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:13Armando Iannucci
01:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:17Joanna Payne
01:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:20Joel Donets
01:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:23And Kamail Nanjani!
01:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:27And next to me, a man who admitted to me when he was tipsy
01:30that if he'd been alive in the war,
01:32he probably would have defected to Mussolini's Italy.
01:35LAUGHTER
01:36Because he loves pasta and he doesn't believe in freedom.
01:42LAUGHTER
01:42LAUGHTER
01:43HE LAUGHS
01:44HE LAUGHS
01:45HE LAUGHS
01:46HE LAUGHS
01:46HE LAUGHS
01:47HE LAUGHS
01:48Right, you're half right.
01:50Hello!
01:51Hello!
01:52What's the first prize pass for the series, please,
01:55little Alex Horne?
01:56Well, Greg, you told them your problem,
01:58and they're here to help because the category is
02:01the thing most likely to deter people from your premises.
02:05LAUGHTER
02:06Yes.
02:07And this guy's got property coming out of his backside.
02:09Greg will give five points to the thing he thinks is most likely
02:12to deter people from their premises,
02:14and all five deterrents will head home with the episode winner.
02:17But for now, Greg, it's back to you and your backside big time.
02:20Here we go.
02:21Thank you so much.
02:22Amy, welcome to the show.
02:23Hello.
02:24What have you bought to deter people from my property?
02:27Very simple.
02:28Mrs Clatterbottom.
02:29This is Mrs Clatterbottom, Greg.
02:32LAUGHTER
02:37Full size.
02:39Yeah, she's good.
02:40She's good!
02:41Where did she get Clatterbottom?
02:42So, my friend hand-painted this mask, Mrs Clatterbottom.
02:50And what's your plan to deter people from property?
02:53Are you going to put it in the window?
02:54Yeah, like Home Alone style-y.
02:57You know when a light goes on, when you go into a garden or something?
03:01Yeah.
03:01I think the light will actually go on in the living room,
03:03and you'll walk down the path and then the light will come on
03:06and Clatterbottom will be there.
03:07Clatterbottom's there?
03:08Yeah.
03:09I'm never going to break into that house.
03:11Well, it's a good start.
03:11It's one of the strongest starts we've ever had.
03:13Well done.
03:14It doesn't mean it won't come last.
03:18Armando, can you beat Clatterbottom?
03:20Well, look, I've gone, like, just no-nonsense.
03:23But I've just put...
03:23I'll sign up my gate, which is...
03:26This sign here is from Armando.
03:27This sign here, and...
03:28Yeah.
03:29I've just got an extra layer of security.
03:35Which, as we all know, don't really exist.
03:39So, are you presuming that people trying to break into your house
03:41are going to be like,
03:42oh, no, I'll have to pay £15 to go rob stuff from?
03:45I mean, if someone's going to steal from me,
03:47I might as well make some money from it.
03:50I mean, sometimes you're going to have to suspend disbelief on this show.
03:55LAUGHTER
03:56These have been good, Joanna.
03:58Now, someone's going to mess up.
03:59Right.
04:00What have you brought me?
04:01I have brought in a mould of my own head, which I've dressed up,
04:05and a sign inviting people to come and join me in my hot tub.
04:09LAUGHTER
04:11Oh, no.
04:12Ah!
04:16This is a mould...
04:17I did a film years ago, and I had to have a lobotomy in it.
04:21And so they did, like, a mould thing of my head,
04:24where they put, like, this green, alginate sort of stuff on it.
04:27And so they gave me this head at the end of filming,
04:30and I was like, well, I've got nothing to do with it,
04:32so I put it in my parents' wardrobe.
04:33And then my son, who's ten, a while ago, found it.
04:37I've never had so much information in my life.
04:40I own this sign, but I do think if someone has a sign...
04:44I don't have a hot tub, but I do have this sign.
04:47And if somebody, I think, asks you to go and sit in a hot tub with them,
04:50to relax and sing and laugh, I wouldn't go anywhere near that house.
04:54OK, I'm going to have to develop some rules for you.
04:57LAUGHTER
05:03Normally, someone's been absolutely rubbish by now,
05:06and I've had to shout at them.
05:08Hello, Joel.
05:10It is a glittery frame,
05:14and inside that glittery frame is my son's umbilical core.
05:18Ooh, it's good.
05:22LAUGHTER
05:23I loved my son, but that bit of congealed blood and skin,
05:27I don't want to be framed.
05:29Whose idea was it?
05:30Because it's like a nice thing when it gets, you know...
05:33But it's not a nice thing, is it? We've agreed.
05:34Absolutely.
05:35I didn't know that's what it looks like when it dries.
05:38Ah.
05:39So it was, like, appealing when it was wet?
05:42LAUGHTER
05:45Imagine if that was, like, hung on my door.
05:47OK.
05:48You know, you'd be like, whoa, whoa, this...
05:50I've got to go now.
05:52LAUGHTER
05:54Thieves around Britain are going to be ready for you.
05:56LAUGHTER
05:57It's incredible.
05:59Kamel, hello.
06:00What have you brought me?
06:01I think this sign speaks for itself.
06:03Yes, Kamel has brought this in.
06:06LAUGHTER
06:10Nobody's going in there.
06:11Is this a real Department of Homeland Security sign?
06:14No, it's not a real one, Greg.
06:16I'm trying to stay away from where the real signs are.
06:19LAUGHTER
06:21It's strong. OK.
06:23Here come my points.
06:24I'm giving Joel's horrible umbilical cord one point.
06:27Not because it's not fascinating,
06:28but because it wouldn't stop me from robbing him.
06:31Now, Department of Homeland Security are going to put me off over here.
06:34Oh, it's over here, right.
06:38They don't have jurisdiction.
06:40LAUGHTER
06:41LAUGHTER
06:43Two points to Kamel.
06:45OK.
06:45I very much found it amusing, Armando,
06:48but if I was a really committed villain,
06:50I don't think I'd get £15 out three points.
06:53Right.
06:53And then we're up to the two creepy women.
06:55LAUGHTER
06:56I'll just do it on gut instinct.
06:58I found Clatterbottom slightly more creepy than Lobotomy Girl.
07:01Four points to you, five points to you.
07:03Well done.
07:03Well done.
07:04Well done.
07:04Well done.
07:07Great.
07:08What is the first task proper of the series, please, Alex?
07:12Well, it's actually something a little...
07:16BEEP!
07:17Oh, my God.
07:18Wait.
07:20Wait.
07:21Oh.
07:23What's going on?
07:25Oh, God.
07:27I've got an egg.
07:28You've got a what?
07:30There's no-one else got an egg.
07:31Can we see your egg?
07:31Oh, my God.
07:33Oh, my God.
07:36Oh, no.
07:37Yeah.
07:37I see what's happened here, Greg.
07:38There's a chance I might have forgotten to give this one to everyone.
07:42LAUGHTER
07:43Oh, no.
07:45Oh, no.
07:46Oh, no.
07:46I'm so sorry.
07:47Oh, no.
07:47Let's have a look.
07:48Oh, my God.
07:50Oh.
07:52Oh, no.
07:56Oh, no.
08:02Oh, no.
08:07Oh, no.
08:07Oh, no.
08:07Oh, no.
08:13Oh.
08:14egg it's in your pigeon hole that's my egg you must have this egg with you unseen for every task
08:23and every episode in the studio you must hand alex your wholly intact egg within 30 seconds every
08:35time the egg timer goes off if you mention damage or lose your egg you are disqualified your time
08:42starts now oh there's the egg and i can't damage it now you've got about six months six months
08:51do you want a little practice
08:56that was well within time okay you can go now bye-bye
09:07this is so mad i'm so sorry i don't know what happened that was
09:12the whole time that we were backstage i was like oh where is everyone else's egg
09:19no i'm so sorry joel i'm so sorry and also you'll notice it didn't say
09:22if you do it you'll get any points so it's um
09:28it's up to you greg if we get to episode 10 and he's still got the egg and he still
09:31reveals it on the horn oh no there'll be no points
09:36it's up to you okay well that's going to be a lot of fun for everyone
09:43and now as if things couldn't get any better i've got worms oh
10:02caravan yeah yeah why not you a caravan guy no hate them
10:09i like this yeah i like that cat and i'd have that in my house and there's a lot of
10:16things i'd
10:16have here in my house right well we'll keep an eye on you then
10:21why aren't you inside sometimes i go outside
10:25doesn't look like it find a worm find a worm find a worm
10:31find a worm fastest wins your time starts now let's go
10:34okay find a worm find a worm find a little worm
10:38a worm find a worm what does that mean ah do you not have worms in america
10:47we have worms well find one then
10:57i think let's just crack on with it really okay and we're going to initiate invertebrate
11:02investigate with amy gledhill and joanna page my automatic thought is to go into the garden and dig
11:08it up but that would be cruel and there probably isn't going to be a worm in the garden there's
11:14going to be a worm here somewhere find a worm find a worm find a worm yeah any worm any
11:21worm but
11:22then what about an earworm like what's it called when there's a worm in your ear i think you said
11:27it
11:30like an actual worm find a worm find a worm find a worm a worm find a worm
11:38find a worm where did a worm where did a worm be
11:41find a worm a worm a worm no you're a duck
11:46it can't be that i'm digging for worms can it
11:50find a worm all these maggots right they're maggots they're not worms are they is that a worm
12:04might be it's not a worm because i know what it's not a worm right that's a worm oh you've
12:12got a mealworm
12:13that's a mealworm lovely lovely lovely we're going to dig up the garden it's like when it's been raining
12:19that's when they come up yeah there's going to be hundreds in a minute
12:28oh my god i found a worm i found a worm i don't want to touch it because i don't
12:34like touching them
12:35i found a worm you found a worm i found a worm well i think we know who the bbc
12:48are coming to and
12:49attenborough finally retires there was quite a long period of that vt that you were just both
12:56walking around saying find a worm and i sort of imagined if one of your family members that have
13:01been there they'd have turned to me and gone she does this where do we stand on mealworms being
13:08worms or not well i'll tell you now i'm making a judgment the mealworms are worms so if that was
13:12presented it's a worm okay well joanna 14 minutes 30 till she charmed the worm out of the ground
13:18unharmed but amy you won't believe it three minutes 35 to find a worm a worm wow
13:25i would have said she was saying find a worm for one hour okay that's the end of part
13:31one and time for our first break of the series but first let's see how their nerves are holding up
13:36because oh stop it
13:43quick quick quick quick quick we'll see you soon
14:00welcome back to taskmaster where it's very early in the series and we've already lowered the bar
14:06with a worm finding task yes greg you're absolutely right amy and joanna went first and succeeded which
14:13proves that the early birds do catch the worms i think that's fine to say and we're now going to
14:18give two hollywood superstars a reality check by making them look for worms just like the rest of
14:23us have to it's armando ianucci and kumail nanjiani okay where would a worm be early birds early birds
14:32get worms you want me to find you an early bird would it have a worm in its mouth not
14:38this time of day
14:41you're looking for a worm that's not it what do you mean find a worm it's a little wiggly guys
14:50oh my god
14:54have you ever looked for a worm before i don't think i have i get that impression i don't i've
14:59never been
14:59into worms are those worms i don't know really they are well up to you really they're called mealworms can
15:07you search is a mealworm a worm okay no mealworm is not a true worm it's the larval stage of
15:15a darkling
15:15beetle i should not have had you search for that right books in books were book a bookworm i love
15:23books
15:24so i'm a bookworm i am a bookworm and this is a reminder of the other sort of worm and
15:32you know
15:33that's it would you like me to stop the clock i think so i mean in my head it stopped
15:37a long time ago
16:01oh my god that's a worm i just got a flashback to when i
16:05when my cat had something like this but i saw one coming out of my cat's wormhole
16:10out of my cat's wormhole
16:22there's this trend uh armando on this show where and i speak of a man of a certain vintage
16:27thank you very much where i find myself pointing out how grumpy and or disinterested
16:33people of a certain vintage can sometimes appear on this show you're the first to do both
16:39but in the final analysis pretty good i thought i'm buying bookworms straight away
16:45oh fantastic there we go yeah you like that right so of the three we've done two of them have
16:48not found
16:52worms
16:54mealworm is not a worm and a bookworm a mealworm is a worm it's not a worm
17:01i've already given the points
17:03and i do think okay you know what you're right yeah yeah yeah
17:13you should certainly have a point well just one sweet little boy left to go it's joel domit
17:18i know exactly where to look
17:23i'm going in the kitchen right now
17:25i'm going in the kitchen right now
17:35is that well is that well then i'll stop the clock
17:46i wrote your enthusiasm was infectious
17:49uh you were so pleased that you'd remembered the worm but i was a teacher for many years
17:53and if you'd invaded my space like you did with alex it would have resulted in retribution
18:00long since not been acceptable in schools
18:07excited boy isn't he yes but who wouldn't be you'd be excited if you found a worm in 21.8
18:12seconds
18:22yeah but then it gets interesting we have amy in second place joanna third place armando the
18:28bookworm 16 minutes and one point to kamel it took half an hour to find his worm well done
18:40right let's see the first scoreboard of the series please the assistant okay well unfortunately
18:45that means kamel you're in last place with three amy's in the lead with nine points
18:53well done amy
18:56okay i'd like another task and i'd like to see how they work together in teams
19:00oh it's a great call from a great guy with great thighs
19:04yes it's the first team task of the series and i for one am buzzing
19:23amando alex good morning good morning are these all fake what do you mean
19:31that's what a pineapple sounds like nope hello come in hi hi oh my god hi hi i'm amy hi
19:44i'm
19:45hello nice to meet you how are you doing i'm great nice to meet you any particular favorite amongst
19:51them a lime a lime there's one particular line right oh hello hello hi hi hi nice to see you
20:02how long have you been here uh literally just walked in right yes well off the street uh yes yeah
20:07all right no that's all right no no there's your boss are me so now i'll have someone to melt
20:13down with
20:16hey hey hey guys how's it going hi hi hi hi i'm kamel yes nice to meet you you're so
20:25famous
20:25You look very cool. Like a leather cap. Look how cool.
20:30Thanks, man. Thank you.
20:31I wonder what that is. Would you like one as well, Joanna?
20:34Yes, please. Thank you.
20:37Joel, like me, if you Google you,
20:39the second picture is you without a shirt.
20:43I'm frustrated it's not the first. Wow!
20:46Oh, my gosh. Shall we all do it together? Yes, come on, then.
20:48OK, then we go. Right, go.
20:52Right. Give Greg five foods correctly.
20:55When the buzzer buzzes, give Greg one food.
20:57If you give Greg the wrong food, you must start again.
21:00If your buzzer does not buzz, you must stay in this room.
21:04First team to give Greg five correct foods wins.
21:08You have a maximum of 35 minutes and your time starts immediately.
21:11Who's Greg?
21:13Look, have you seen the show?
21:15Oh, Greg!
21:18HE SINGS
21:19HE SINGS
21:22HE SINGS
21:24OK, are you OK?
21:29Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
21:30Are you sure?
21:32Not everyone knows.
21:33I was in the moment and because you weren't in the room at that time,
21:37I was like, oh, my God, what's going on?
21:39What have I got to look at?
21:40Who's Greg?
21:42LAUGHTER
21:44Hey, let's see the teams in action, can we?
21:46Yes.
21:46And we're going to begin by seeing if the team of three figured it out.
21:49It's Joel, Amy and Kumail.
21:52Here we go.
21:56Oh, it's buzzing!
21:57We have to give him a correct food.
21:59I'm going to go orange, potentially nectarine, potentially...
22:03Let's try it.
22:06All right, yes.
22:09He said, all right, yes.
22:10OK.
22:12It's me, it's me.
22:13Shall we go for another fruit?
22:14It's a lemon.
22:15A pineapple?
22:17Oh, yes.
22:19Yes!
22:19He liked the pineapple!
22:21He liked the pineapple.
22:21He liked the pineapple.
22:22OK.
22:23All right.
22:24Onion.
22:25Onion.
22:26Onion.
22:26Onion.
22:26Onion.
22:28This is...
22:30This is our favourite.
22:35Ooh.
22:36Ooh, no.
22:38Ugh.
22:39Bad news, guys.
22:41Oh, shit.
22:42OK.
22:43OK.
22:43OK.
22:44So these are the ones we know he likes.
22:46Yeah.
22:48OK.
22:49Yes.
22:49Yes.
22:52No, I wouldn't have thought so much.
22:54Oh, God.
22:55OK.
22:55No.
22:55Doesn't like the pea.
22:57Doesn't like the pea.
22:58OK.
22:58The carrot goes there.
22:59We like it.
23:00The pea goes over here.
23:02Yes.
23:03Yes!
23:04Guys, we just need one more.
23:05That was good.
23:05He likes it.
23:06Oh, my God.
23:07We just need one more.
23:09Yes, please.
23:11Mmm.
23:12Love the cucumber.
23:13OK.
23:13Oh, so we've got it all.
23:14We just have to wait until they buzz and then we can go.
23:17OK.
23:18Oh, this is fun now.
23:20OK.
23:20Now we can just enjoy it.
23:21Wow, we really, really nailed that one.
23:25No.
23:26No?
23:27What?
23:29He said no.
23:29He said no to carrot.
23:31He said yes to carrot before.
23:32So there's an order.
23:34OK.
23:34So he liked this, then this.
23:38The mood has really changed.
23:44Yes?
23:45Yes.
23:45What do you want, Greg?
23:51Was that always there?
23:52The drink price?
23:53Because there are five things there.
23:55This one over here as well.
24:00It says instead of time starts now, it says time starts immediately.
24:04And your time starts immediately.
24:07Why is it immediately instead of now?
24:10Is it syllables like, and your time starts immediately.
24:15Egg, meat, fruit, protein, vegetables.
24:18Oh.
24:19Each one has more letters than the last.
24:24Each one has more.
24:26Can we go up from orange?
24:29Carrot.
24:33Yes.
24:37Yes.
24:38How much time do we have left?
24:39You've got about 40 seconds.
24:41Oh.
24:43This is great, guys.
24:44This feels real.
24:45Well, we don't have much time left.
24:46Give us a bow.
24:47Give us a bow.
24:47Give us a bow.
24:49Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
24:51No!
24:52This is like that final scene in the Eternals.
24:54You've never seen it.
24:55I've seen it!
24:56Damn, I think it.
24:58Yes, please.
24:59Yes!
24:59One more, one more, one more!
25:0015 seconds.
25:03Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
25:04Everybody come here.
25:05Whoever it is will run.
25:08Buzz!
25:09Make a buzz!
25:11Oh, yeah!
25:16Yes!
25:16Yes!
25:17Yeah
25:29Well it was it was a shaky start when I witnessed two grown adults turn into like take that fun
25:49Oh
25:49They're actually pretty cohesive team. I thought they were a good team. They were working. Well. Hey, what was all
25:55that syllable bullshit towards the end?
25:56No, I did
25:57What was all that primary school you go who is Greg Alex two syllables? Yeah, how does it apply to
26:05this task? Sorry
26:08The words were getting bigger
26:12I
26:12Was Amy that worked out that the words yeah, yeah that there were more syllables. Yeah, ah, I apologize for
26:19calling your system bullshit
26:29Okay, I've heard time have a break have some tea leave your man come back to me
26:40I
26:47Show and it's a team task in play Alex. What's the deal? Oh, hey, mate? Yeah, they're trying to give
26:56Correct foods the team of three managed to work out that it's all about delivering the food in order of
27:01the number of letters in each
27:02Items name and they deliver the goods just in time, but it's fastest wins. So how will the other team
27:07get on?
27:07Representing Scotland and Italy and Wales. It's Armando and Armando and Joanna
27:13Right, there's a pineapple here. Is it stuff that's in here? Yeah
27:22All right, yes, yes, why do we have such a long time? It's because we've got to discover things food
27:30That's a meat fruit protein vegetables, so it meets
27:36It's you again
27:42I'm afraid it's a nice
27:49He's a lot slower than me it sort of highlights my manicness
27:54That was a rejection
28:05Okay, how are you finding be on a team with join us? It's uh, it's certainly
28:10Walking me up
28:15I think she's got high expectations of you on them
28:19What
28:22Excellent maybe we should go for me to meet I think yes on this occasion. Yes
28:30Oh my god, we need a fruit now
28:33We've got you a pineapple
28:36Oh, yes
28:36Oh, yes, brilliant
28:39We've got to find some protein. What about that? Because that will you just go that is just basically a
28:45cow
28:51I've broken the egg
28:52I've broken the egg
28:56Bad news I'm afraid
28:57Oh, you are kidding me
28:59I've broken the egg
29:01Right, we're going with our trusty egg
29:04Yeah, cool
29:06Yes
29:07We're trying an orange this time. Yes, please. Yeah, I'm just wondering if it's spelling out
29:12E-B-O
29:14Ebola
29:21Sorry breast chicken do you like all right then? Yes, cool
29:29We just go for it see around, okay, cauliflower Greg, but we don't know why
29:41Excellent. Do you know why you succeeded? No
29:50No
29:56Fascinating dynamic this. I can't wait to see this team play out
30:02Yeah, we didn't need to know what they know just as well because you thought we were trying to get
30:07you to spell out Ebola
30:14That does make more sense now
30:15Yeah, yeah, yeah
30:18Shall I tell you some timings Greg? Yes, please
30:20Well, we know the team of three found it just in the nick of time nearly 35 minutes the team
30:24of two
30:2521 minutes
30:27Wow
30:28They get a five points
30:29That's just what we said
30:31So how many points should the team of three get? They did succeed
30:33They did succeed
30:34Three points, five and three
30:36Five and three
30:37Three points to the team of three
30:38Yeah, I think they're quite sharp as I
30:40Thank you
30:41Right, another tough case and can it be big fun on a big scale?
30:47Yes and yes because you deserve it Greg also just so you know I'm in great shape
30:53Yes and yes
31:05Thank you
31:09Thank you
31:09Thank you
31:10That's all about to see that
31:13Where is he?
31:23why are you laughing you look incredible well it's a hot day hi joel hello alex
31:31you've been working out i need to go to the gym you look really good do you mind yeah go
31:38on yeah
31:38it's so warm i might join you this is really exciting put the most t-shirts on alex alex
31:47would only wear t-shirts launched from the t-shirt launcher and onto a target according to the t-shirt
31:55launcher rules there if a t-shirt lands in a blue circle alex must wear that t-shirt white circle
32:04alex must wear every t-shirt that has been fired so the white circle is the best one if a
32:10t-shirt
32:10lands on the central target that t-shirt must be dunked in the bucket then put on alex then that
32:16is the end of the task oh god if a t-shirt lands in a red circle alex must take
32:21off every t-shirt
32:22that he's wearing you must always launch upwards and each t-shirt can only be launched once if you
32:29catch the golden t-shirt your t-shirt total will be doubled you're 20 minutes or until you run out
32:36of t-shirts your time starts on the whistle have you used a t-shirt launcher before no i've never
32:42used a t-shirt launcher before alex what do you think my life is i've used one before i worked
32:48at
32:48the basketball uh-huh the basketball for the lakers who's your favorite player on the lake cube cube cube
32:55cube is good fuck he's good
33:05right well gmail is up first with amando and jorge but before we begin i do have to give one
33:10of these
33:11uh health and safety warnings about the video that's coming up just look at the size of his arms
33:15they're massive okay here we go okay just a test
33:29whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa oh very satisfying i might just do this all day i'm trying something else
33:43okay new strategy
33:48it's never happened to me before it's not usually a problem i have
33:57that has happened to you before yeah it just happened to me now twice in a row
34:05oh no take it off well i'm not wearing a t-shirt luckily
34:09okay okay this is so fun man oh that one i'm flapped oh oh oh oh haha
34:20oh oh a lovely launch
34:28yes that's on the white it's touching the white
34:32i don't think it is stay there
34:35okay
34:38Is that on the white?
34:40That's not on the white either.
34:43It's golden T-shirt.
34:44Golden T-shirt time.
34:45Ah, right.
34:46OK.
34:47I'm trying to catch this, haven't I?
34:48Yeah, being careful.
34:49Being careful, yeah.
34:50Yeah.
34:50This is nerve-wracking.
34:53Best of luck.
34:54Don't need it, mate.
34:55Are you good at catching?
34:56Yeah, I've been catching T-shirts my whole life.
35:05Oh, OK.
35:07Bit of extra juice.
35:14Come on!
35:15Come on!
35:17Come on!
35:19Come on!
35:20I can't even remember what it does!
35:22Right.
35:28What does it do?
35:31Oh!
35:36Good job.
35:37Pleasure, thank you.
35:38Thanks for having me.
35:42Yeah, I've never dressed someone in a wet T-shirt before.
35:45Honestly.
35:4515 T-shirts left.
35:50Oh, interesting.
35:56No.
35:56No, no, no, no, no.
35:58Oh!
35:59It's so wet.
36:00Arms up.
36:01And two.
36:02Oh, it's quite cold.
36:03Best one?
36:03Yep.
36:05Doesn't say I have to be behind the line.
36:07There is no line.
36:13Right, I've got two minutes to put on as many T-shirts as possible.
36:16You have two minutes?
36:17No, you should all put them on.
36:19Here.
36:22One and a half minutes.
36:24OK, hurry up!
36:24Hurry up!
36:25Hurry up!
36:26Is this your first step putting on T-shirts?
36:28Come on, man.
36:28No.
36:29Why are you so bad at it?
36:31That's the end of the talk.
36:32The time's up.
36:35To think you built this for two T-shirts.
36:38It's all coming down now.
36:40APPLAUSE
36:44Well, goodness me, have we ever had a contrast between men?
36:49Like we have here.
36:51The opening reaction to the T-shirt launch was like,
36:54WHOA!
36:56WHOA!
36:56And then we cut over here and it's like, oh, very satisfying.
37:00LAUGHTER
37:01Kamel, you were a real action hero for about 30 seconds.
37:05I went, this man's going to be deadly accurate.
37:08And then it was just a total collapse.
37:11Yeah, the T-shirt dribbled out of there a couple of times.
37:14Once you stop trusting yourself, there's nowhere to go.
37:18LAUGHTER
37:18He's right.
37:21Right.
37:22Advert time.
37:23In the final part of the show,
37:24someone will feel the high of victory
37:26and then a couple of hours later,
37:28find themselves sitting at home
37:29between Mrs Clatterbottom and a Randy mannequin
37:32and then, and only then,
37:34will the haunting introspection begin.
37:37LAUGHTER
37:37We'll take you in a minute.
37:46Hello!
37:47Welcome back to the final part of the show.
37:50The current task started off promisingly
37:52in an incredible location with a T-shirt cannon,
37:55but then on applauded Alex
37:57in a cheap nylon muscle T-shirt
37:59and any hint of cool instantly vanished.
38:02LAUGHTER
38:05It wasn't a T-shirt,
38:06and this iPad does actually play the videos,
38:09and you are definitely still six foot eight.
38:11There are only two people left to go.
38:13It is Amy and Joanna.
38:16This is fun!
38:18OK.
38:19Wow!
38:21Oh!
38:22Oh!
38:23Oh!
38:24Oh!
38:24Oh, my God, God!
38:26LAUGHTER
38:27Wow!
38:31Wow!
38:32Wow!
38:33Wow!
38:37Right.
38:39Well, that goes far, doesn't it?
38:41Can I take some of these T-shirts down there?
38:43Yeah, I can bring the thing down for you if you want.
38:45Oh, my God!
38:46Come on, let's go down!
38:47OK.
38:48I'm strong, remember.
38:48OK.
38:49LAUGHTER
38:59What am I doing with the gold one now?
39:01You're trying to catch it.
39:02If you catch it, your total at the end will be doubled.
39:05Are you good at catching?
39:07Yep.
39:08OK.
39:20Oh, my God, that was incredible.
39:22I have to say, I've let myself down earlier on, but I think I brought it back with that.
39:30Oh!
39:31Oh!
39:33All I've got to do is get something on the white, and then you've got to put the loads on.
39:37Mm-hmm.
39:38Right, I'm not going to think about it.
39:41Yes!
39:42Yes!
39:43Can I start putting them on?
39:45Yeah, start getting them on.
39:46I mean, I'm just going to help you put on T-shirts.
39:48They're the what?
39:52Oh, you're like a big baby.
39:54I never had a man in front of me put his clothes on this fast before ever.
40:02Yes!
40:03You've got a man in the bucket, put it on me, and that's the end of the top.
40:06Oh, yes!
40:10There we go.
40:12It's like putting the condom on a sausage.
40:15Oh, my gosh, this is brilliant.
40:17That's amazing.
40:18You've run out?
40:19Yeah.
40:20Tosco.
40:21Brilliant.
40:22High five.
40:23Thank you!
40:25Yeah.
40:31Well, I guess the obvious first question is, have you put a condom on a sausage?
40:36Have you?
40:39Maybe once.
40:42They both managed to get a lot of T-shirts on me.
40:44They were running out at the time.
40:45You dunked one at the end because you wanted to put a wet one on me.
40:48Excuse me?
40:49Time was running out.
40:50So, both women got 24 T-shirts.
40:53Woo!
40:54Wow!
40:5524.
40:57Wow!
41:00But Joanna's redoubled the number of shirts you put on me.
41:02What does that take to the score?
41:03Well, it means Armando gets one point for his one T-shirt.
41:05Joel got six, so he gets two points.
41:08Kamel, 12.
41:09Three points.
41:10Amy, twice as many.
41:1124.
41:12Four points.
41:12Joanna, twice as many.
41:13Again, 48 T-shirts.
41:14And five points to Joanna!
41:16Woo!
41:17Very good.
41:21Do you see a scoreboard, then?
41:22Sure, yes.
41:22And it does mean the women are on top.
41:25Joanna's at the top of the leaderboard was 17, then Amy on 16 points.
41:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:31All right, everyone.
41:33Will you please make your way to the stage for the first final task of the show?
41:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:46Hello, my handsome prince.
41:48I'm a little worm.
41:49Hello, Greg.
41:50Hello.
41:50Who will be reading the task for us?
41:52I think Joanna Page.
41:54Ah, Joanna Page.
41:55You ready?
41:55No.
41:58Find four oranges.
42:00If you find an apple, you miss your next go.
42:04If you find a lemon, the order reverses.
42:07If you find a duck, you must greet the duck by name.
42:12If you find an orange, you can look under another can.
42:16Fastest to find four oranges in one turn wins.
42:21Who's starting, Alex?
42:23Amy's going to start.
42:23I've also got to say, only one person gets points here.
42:26Only the orange finder gets five points.
42:29LAUGHTER
42:30Ready?
42:31Ready.
42:31Amy.
42:32Find the orange!
42:33Find the orange.
42:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:35Apple, that means...
42:37I missed my next go.
42:38You missed your next go.
42:38Amanda, you're up.
42:41Apple, you missed your next go.
42:43I don't know if I'm not.
42:44Lemon, that means the order reverses.
42:46You missed a go.
42:47You missed a go.
42:47So it's Camel's turn.
42:48LAUGHTER
42:54Hello, Dave.
42:57LAUGHTER
43:00Hello, Dr Cooper.
43:03LAUGHTER
43:03Yes.
43:06Hello, Dave.
43:09Ah, please.
43:13Come on.
43:19Fuck you, Debbie.
43:21LAUGHTER
43:23Yes!
43:25Yes!
43:29Yes!
43:32Yes!
43:33Yes!
43:34Yes!
43:34Oh!
43:34Yes!
43:35Oh!
43:37Denise, you bitch!
43:39LAUGHTER
43:40There we go.
43:41Good feeling.
43:42Good vibes.
43:43Oh!
43:45Oh!
43:48Debbie, where are the fucking oranges?
43:54WHOOSHEES
43:55WHOOSHEES
43:56WOOOOOOSHEES
43:56WHOOSHEES
43:57WHOOSHEES
44:00WHOOSHEES
44:02WOOOOO
44:03WHOOSHEES
44:04WHOOSHEES
44:04WHOOSHEES
44:04WHOOSHEES
44:06WHOOSHEES
44:06WHOOSHEES
44:06Oh!
44:09Hiya, Dave.
44:10Oh
44:45Right that
45:02Yes
45:10I feel very confident
45:15Come on Joanna
45:20Yes, I've always thought you'd be the one Joanna. I always thought Joanna
45:26Yeah feels good, isn't it? Yeah feels right
45:32Joanna this could be the greatest moment in Taskmaster history
45:41Yeah
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