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Watch Shrinking Season 2 Episode 9 online in HD on Dailymotion (2025). Full episode streaming in high quality.
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00:12Equal court.
00:14Yeah.
00:15I struck out again.
00:16Every job interviewer is asking me about the gap in my resume.
00:19There's no cool way to say that I went to rehab and then spent seven years chilling with mom.
00:23Just tell them that you're a former narcotic tester that values family.
00:27I'm serious.
00:28I wouldn't hire me.
00:30Don't do that.
00:30I'm rooting for you.
00:32I'm going to call you later.
00:33And I'm rooting for you.
00:36You're not rooting for her.
00:38Of course I am.
00:39No, you're not.
00:39Yes, I am.
00:40You said it like seven times and not one of them was genuine.
00:45You're doing her dirty.
00:47You're a dirty bird.
00:48Yeah, all right?
00:49It's complicated.
00:50Obviously, I want my sister to get a job.
00:52But the second she does, our mom becomes my problem.
00:54So I guess I'm hoping that if I say I'm rooting for you enough, I'll start to mean it.
00:59Good luck, sister.
01:01I'm rooting for you.
01:02Suck my ass.
01:05This is not the way of the office.
01:07Yeah, about that.
01:08Remember that time I asked if you were a guest lecturer at my school and you said you'd rather
01:12spend time with your son-in-law?
01:13Yeah, that was a good one.
01:14It was.
01:16Well, I took that as a yes.
01:20Kidnapping me?
01:20Don't be so dramatic.
01:22I'm borrowing you against your will.
01:27Take me home.
01:28No.
01:30Derek, eating funnel cake sort of defeats the purpose of hiking.
01:33Well, maybe they shouldn't sell it in the parking lot, Jimmy.
01:35Ignore him, honey.
01:36Eat whatever you want when you're exercising.
01:39Okay, if Liz is done making up for her infidelity...
01:41I will strangle you.
01:42Charlie and I found a baby.
01:44Oh!
01:45Yay!
01:46All right!
01:47The mother is five months pregnant, so we still have prep time.
01:49Plus, the baby's mixed race.
01:50And I've already used it as an excuse to cancel plans later.
01:53I've always wanted a mixed race baby.
01:56That's true, she has.
01:57This is not your baby, Liz.
01:58I know.
01:59Well, I don't believe that.
02:01You shouldn't.
02:01I wouldn't.
02:03You know, our baby doesn't like your attitude.
02:09Citra has the outcome.
02:11I would like to thank Dr. Rose for coming.
02:13I wish she hadn't have said that the world is already full of therapists
02:15and you all are wasting your time, but he is who he is.
02:18Does anybody have any questions?
02:21Noah?
02:22Is cognitive behavioral therapy better than humanistic therapy?
02:26Do I have to answer the stupid ones?
02:29Yeah.
02:30Great question.
02:31My answer is yes.
02:33Next, you be better.
02:35I read your book twice.
02:38You're a genius.
02:39Now we're cooking.
02:40All right, enough ass kissing.
02:42What's the most common issue you see in your practice?
02:44Well, in my practice, it's patients that can't seem to get out of their own way.
02:50They're stuck in problems of their own creation.
02:53I do not love that you said that last part directly to me,
02:55but it does make me feel better about doing this.
02:58Did everybody bring their copy of Dr. Rose's book?
03:00Yeah.
03:01Let's do it.
03:04Check it out.
03:05It's a room full of Pauls.
03:06I'm going to frame this in my office.
03:08I don't give a shit.
03:10I love this.
03:13Okay.
03:14I will see your Skittles, and I will raise you three pink Starburst.
03:49Too rich for me.
03:50It's a routine, you know?
03:52I'm grateful.
03:54Somebody did it for me.
03:55Just passing it on.
03:58Let's not get emotional, guys.
04:00I'm fine.
04:01I'm talking about me, Sean.
04:03I got beer, men, cards.
04:04Somebody deal.
04:25You're coming.
04:26You're coming.
04:29You're coming.
04:31I'm there to go.
04:35come on i've only hung out with this guy once what if he like ties me up and throws me
04:40in his
04:40trunk that's hot okay i'll come but we're getting a hundred garlic knots okay perfect love you see
04:48you soon hey hey you one of sean's buddies the game's out back oh no i'm actually uh
04:56going to take alice for pizza oh are you it's just uh you got the face of a full-grown
05:04dude
05:04what are you like 37 no sir i'm 17. wow i'm dylan by the way no shit you're the dill
05:12pickle
05:13sorry that's a nickname i made up to tease alice so i could have sex with her mom
05:16why are you telling me this i wish i knew pal you know what you surprised me dylan uh so
05:21i just gotta
05:22regroup it's actually a little late to be heading out for pizza it's uh 8 30 no that's a good
05:29pizza
05:29time okay i'm gonna lay out a few ground rules for you cool
05:43you okay
05:48sir
05:52you good
05:55sir can it help please okay here we go holy shit
06:17so first off no drinking and second of all if it's gonna be past midnight you have her call
06:22me okay i think i'm gonna go wait for alice in the car it's nice to meet you feel better
06:32he's gonna use the fact that he saved my life to try to have sex with alice isn't he
06:35i would definitely bro this would be a lot easier if i hadn't felt his dick in my back
06:41help me carry this weight that's dragging me down pull me out of a drink before i start to drown
06:50let the wreckage all sink to where the fishes are frightening i want to hear myself think again
07:11so when it happened did you see jesus no but i think my nana was there i don't want to
07:17talk about
07:17this anymore did dylan save your life i wouldn't say that no i was about to dislodge the grape so
07:24i
07:24think he helped me save my own life back me up sean he definitely saved your life what am i
07:30supposed to lie yes sean sometimes we lie did you also call him dill pickle and say he had a
07:36full
07:36grown dude face he did have a full grown dude face look are we certain that dylan is not a
07:42full
07:43grown man with a family who is trying to make it as a high school sports star i saw a
07:48documentary
07:48kid these things happen look i was just thrown okay i didn't know you were seeing anybody i literally
07:56hung out with him like once i haven't told anyone told me sometimes we lie sean at this point i'm
08:02just
08:02having fun fine last week he invited me to a dance at a school it's time i re-enter the
08:08world okay so
08:08i'm gonna go oh my gosh that's great i'm i'm proud of you also dylan's parents are letting other
08:15parents over to their house to take embarrassing photos but due to recent events i'm sure you
08:19understand why you're not invited i do what if i promise not to eat any snacks wider than my esophagus
08:26see you dad
08:29hey i love you i mean i'm happy for her i'm just kind of bummed she didn't tell me jimmy
08:34that has
08:34nothing to do with you when i was her age i didn't tell my dad jack because i was getting
08:37so much
08:38debaucherous shit like uh the last dance i was at in high school is there anything i could do to
08:42keep
08:42you from telling me this story there just isn't i got social wasted and i gave such a powerful
08:47handjob that i ended up spraining my wrist and had to wear a brace at graduation proud moment for
08:51your family look i've spent way too much time listening to you shitting on yourself so i want you to
09:00hear
09:00this alice asserting her independence means you did good now the hard part for you is figuring out
09:09how to let her separate without making her feel guilty if you can manage to do that then when she
09:14really needs something there's a chance that you'll be the one she calls i can do that good
09:24i'm sorry gabby i have to know if you sprain your wrist what happened to this poor kid's penis
09:29he had to wear a brace at graduation as well what's that big bird dr grumps nope hey is everything
09:37okay uh yeah i finally figured out my work sitch i'm joining the army i actually report in a week
09:45a week and where did you get that idea oh hell no lunchtime is over you guys get out of
09:55the truck
09:55sorry this is actually not about the food this is an outside issue
10:00ow thanks for meeting up my office charlie's a management consultant no one even knows what he
10:05does i assume he assesses companies and then consults on strategies to improve on system efficiency
10:12exactly are you too fucking why would you even say that focus steward let's talk baby so we definitely
10:20want to be called to the hospital for the birth oh maybe we can get a police escort so we
10:25can
10:25speed i'm loving this enthusiasm and the mother really responded to your brochure so you two are
10:31definitely in the mix in the mix what so we're just an oscar nominee we're glenn fucking close
10:37it's between you and a straight couple tragic i know the mom just wants to meet everyone so think of
10:44it as a first date how is that helpful i screwed up every first date i ever went on
10:49i'm a lot really i hadn't noticed wow jimmy i need your help oh sorry i always forget he actually
10:58does work here it's okay we're not really getting anywhere today calm down steven we started two
11:02minutes ago brian get out no this is emergency i need you to help me not be me uh same
11:09how about the
11:11next time my sister asks you for a sandwich instead of gi jaining her you actually give her a sandwich
11:15i mean she did get a sandwich gebs i really want to do this i don't want to get some
11:20dumb job around
11:20here i want to see the world can i say something by all means sean's friend please weigh in on
11:27this
11:27important family issue i was where courtney is and look i know it sounds corny but it helped me get
11:33my together now i got friends i can count on forever cool but courtney i just thought that
11:40i'd have more time i know i promised you three months with mom so if you want me to wait
11:45there's
11:45another portal next year i'm not doing this without your blessing paula is this the plan you guys become
11:54some weirdo emotionally manipulative platoon and just give me sad eyes until i cave in
12:01damn it it's working i'm really happy for you thank you i'll grab drinks to celebrate i hope
12:12i'm gonna fuck you really in a shrimp truck
12:17look at us doing good things for the people we love
12:22not getting mad at each other for meddling you are on my shit list
12:28you think she's gonna be okay like seriously i think she's gonna be great
12:35i can't think of a single first date or interview or first anything that didn't go horribly you
12:42realize because steven left early i don't get paid right focus i don't know why everything always
12:48goes south for me so quickly i have thoughts i shouldn't have come here there's no way you can
12:55figure me out quickly enough too complex you grew up gay in texas with a conservative father so you
13:01develop strategies to survive and now your defense mechanism is to lash out when you meet people
13:05because you're afraid that they'll reject you first nuh-uh brian look charlie humanizes you maybe
13:12just let him do most if not all of the talking i'm not capable of going 45 minutes without talking
13:18my record is three and i've just gotten my tonsils out okay you tell charlie that when he sees you
13:23falling into your defensive patterns he can lightly squeeze your arm now that'll be your cue to just
13:28take a deep breath reset and say the exact opposite of what you were about to say got it
13:36what is wrong with me nothing buddy the people i worry about are the ones who are stuck
13:44that's not you but man i wish that you could look at yourself through my eyes see just how far
13:51you've
13:51come oh my god jimmy are you good at your job yeah yeah sometimes arrogant okay now i gotta get
14:02a handle on the baby part steward said the mom could ask a million questions about parenting that i
14:07can't help you with when alice was a baby i was more of a do what you're told kind of
14:10dad
14:12you know we need to see no you do what i say when i say and how i say it
14:19oh it's weird that i'm a
14:20little turned on is this funny to you if you screw up getting us this beautiful mix baby i will
14:26rip your
14:26dick off and smack you in the face with it
14:40don't get me wrong he's a nice looking boy i hate all of you but you don't know his mom
14:45doesn't read her
14:46right oh there you are hey what's going on back there oh yeah she's giving brian a crash course on
14:54all
14:54things baby she's gonna want to know if you're doing formula or breast milk ew we don't say ooh
15:01over breast milk got it it's disgusting but we don't say it that reminds me when mom would feed you
15:06you would get the cutest little breast milk mustache i'm gonna skip past that that's fair i don't have
15:11a dress for tonight i mean i have a hundred dresses and i love them all but i also hate
15:15them all you know
15:16what i mean i hear you that's why i no longer own shorts i know i'm just anxious but can
15:20i get a new
15:21one yeah let's do it i'll drive oh i was just asking if i could get your credit card of
15:28course
15:29sure thing there you go kid wait no speech no angling to come with because i want this so bad
15:36i'd let you sit in the parking lot no you got this thanks have fun
15:46parking lot sounded sweet right yeah because if they take longer than five minutes you can pretend
15:51you're just stretching your legs and go in and spy on them dad life make your kid think you don't
15:57care
15:57when you do ah fuck we found out matthew lost his job again listen i you know we want to
16:05come for him
16:05but we can't say anything until he tells us himself how do you not cave every time i feel tempted
16:12i just flick myself in the balls right yeah i'll find my own thing listen the army's not my thing
16:21i don't love a bunk bed does your mom know your sister's leaving yet no courtney's telling her right
16:28now okay well i gotta do my stretches dr sykes sent some new ones over
16:37wait twerking helps with parkinson's i know you when we get out of here but i'm not going to
16:43do you think my mom's gonna want to move in with me how would i know i never met her
16:47would you want to live with meg i don't know maybe someday
16:54the less time i have left on earth the more i think about being near my kid
17:01yeah right but i got a lot going on right now you know work teaching being a dungeon master
17:07that a sex thing no pa it's a dungeons and dragons thing but there's a new guy he's cool i
17:13can't have
17:13my mom around while i'm trying to take him to the bone zone aka titty city how do i make
17:17her understand
17:18that she'll be a lot happier if i get her live-in help and she stays at home look this
17:21isn't about
17:22her this is about setting boundaries and saying what you want it'll be hard but i'll do it what
17:31look kid i'm not taking a shot at you here but we are who we are i'm a cranky old
17:36bastard with a full
17:37head of hair you're a lifelong caretaker the only person you're not good at looking after is yourself
17:43if your mom wants to move in with you i'm not sure you could say no i'm not sure i
17:50can either
17:51want to sit with me and pretend to punch people make you feel better i gotta go but i love
17:56that for
17:56you get him dave dave dave my dad dave paul can't know for sure he's not psychic right all right
18:09turn that
18:09ass around i want to see hello nurse hi alert you sure it's not too hey i'm ellis and i'm
18:19showing
18:19off my secret biggins what you have them too girl please these biggins ain't been a secret since the
18:24seventh grade i don't know you look beautiful thanks and thanks for bringing me of course
18:33actually there's something i want to say
18:36i know that all that stuff happened with summer and connor and that i wasn't there
18:41i think it's safe to say i probably shouldn't have bonked your dad
18:44if you had asked i would have said run well you live and you learn but that is still no
18:51excuse
18:52gabby stop it if i had needed you i would have blown up your phone and you would have been
18:55there always
18:58all right turn around let me zip you up
19:12you look like your mom
19:16he goes to a different school so i don't have to be the girl with the dead mom you know
19:20i can just
19:21hide out and be anonymous you can be whoever you want to be in college i was bisexual gabby for
19:26a
19:26semester until i decided cooters weren't for me that sounds kind of fun it was but vaginas are a lot
19:33anyway you ready i'm gonna get this this is on me oh dad gave me his credit card what yeah
19:38give
19:38whatever you want he'll never know heck maybe i'll give me something oh my god how about these
19:44fuck me boots i like it let's just make sure they don't call him that on the receipt so brian
19:49and
19:50charlie how did you two meet non-sexual role-playing seriously gestalt therapy uses role-playing to help
19:57patients confront maladaptive behaviors and you are no longer listening to me so let's just do this
20:01i'm back in character i ovulated i'm with child my breasts are voluptuous okay liz i feel overwhelmed at
20:12the thought of having a baby do you and your husband feel ready for it that's a great question
20:17charlie why don't you take this one not the point of this exercise are you guys gonna baby proof the
20:22house i'm so young and clueless when does a kid even walk a week a month trick questions some never
20:31do
20:31jesus christ this is stupid liz why don't you just tell me what you'd want to hear if you were
20:36giving
20:37your baby up i mean obviously i'd want to hear that you would love the baby so much and don't
20:43pretend
20:43that you're not going to make mistakes because you will like if you were desperate for a daughter
20:48but you had a third boy so you didn't cut his hair and when people said oh what a beautiful
20:53girl
20:54you didn't correct them and maybe you pierced his baby ears look you're gonna do everything for
21:00your kid and you know what your reward is they grow up and reject you because they're assholes
21:07and then you have to find a way to be happy that they can stand on their own two feet
21:12and that is not easy but i think what i would like to hear the most is that even if
21:18people keep
21:20reminding you that your life shouldn't revolve around your child the moment they put that baby in
21:27your arms and you see the trust in his eyes you just know in your heart that it's the most
21:35important
21:35thing that you'll ever do just say that oh i gotta go alice is going to that dance later and
21:44i gotta
21:45pretend to be resting in the living room so i can catch her before she takes off you want a
21:49hug
21:52if you blow this for me i'll make charlie give me a baby the old-fashioned way i know
22:02you know you just missed her right damn it don't worry i gave dylan the dad speech i think it
22:08was a
22:08bit more effective coming from me seeing as how i don't owe the guy my life sean he loosened the
22:13grape
22:13so that i could calmly spit it out and i do not want to talk about this anymore yeah i
22:18know buddy hey
22:19i snuck a picture of alice in her dress for you you want to see oh my gosh yes
22:30she ain't here man you can say she's a princess
22:35so paul you and julie got any cool sexy plans tonight no she's got uh kickboxing holy cow she
22:42kickboxes too that's how she gets those legs look paul i know that you believe that i can't lay down
22:48the law with my mom but i'll have you know i'm a lot stronger than you think plus i got
22:53a ton of
22:53great people in my life that'll help me through it whether they want to or not
22:59you're not taking me home are you not your home god damn it i suggest that we meet here because
23:08it's closer to where she works plus this way when i faint there are three people to help catch me
23:12thank you that's mine it's mine now thank you oh it's matthew finally calling to tell me you got
23:19shit canned little fucker hey sweetie how are you oh no but you are the best manager buffalo wild wings
23:30ever had where is she going and why would he work there don't panic we got you
23:42hey sweetie everything okay yeah we ended up ditching the dance i'm at an after party at dylan's
23:49he lives right by that kid from my fourth grade class who's kosher and you accidentally fed him bacon
23:54best day of zach bornstein's life it's just i'm fine but can you meet me on that corner
24:02i'm on my way what no no no no no no i have to
24:11oh wow i'm ava sorry that i'm late the restaurant got slammed it's okay you're gonna love them enjoy my
24:19house
24:19oh wait oh this is fancy look at this oh oh yes mom this is paul paul this is my
24:33mother phyllis
24:33i told her a lot about you how nice to meet you oh he doesn't seem like he's in love
24:38with himself
24:39just give him a minute your daughter's amazing i'm honored to call her a colleague and a friend
24:45she's lucky to have you as a mentor extremely lucky now i see it so look um mom there is
24:53something
24:53that we need to discuss y'all a couple of them i'm spoken for oh oh okay what's going on
25:03now um
25:05so so the thing with courtney okay hold on i just got here baby i haven't even seen the rest
25:11of your
25:11place yet and i want to see which bedroom gonna be mine you'll love the room at the end of
25:20the
25:20hall it's got a ton of great light oh light is good where is it down here just that way
25:24okay
25:28don't beat yourself up you're a good daughter maybe she'll remarry one day
25:38okay okay not to be awkward but um i'm half japanese the father japanese score not that it
25:49matters here's your water thanks i've never had a meeting like this before so i don't know where
25:57to start we can start at the beginning okay sure yeah yeah um boom boom uh so how'd you get
26:08preggers nope
26:10forget i said that in fact let's just hit rewind
26:18uh wait where the hell's my coffee cup you saw me throw it in here right what why did this
26:25happen
26:26did i miss oh my gosh am i losing my mind well that's not even empty thank you that's oh
26:34check this
26:36out it got stuck between the two bins that is crazy i thought i was going absolutely nuts stop breathe
26:46yeah um can i start again i'm just nervous okay i'm me too
26:58have you always known that you wanted to be parents if i'm being honest um it's been a journey for
27:06us
27:07i was terrified not charlie he was born for this how are you feeling now better
27:18i've still got a lot to learn but i do know that it takes a village that's actually why i
27:27wanted you
27:27to meet us here we wanted you to see all the great people in our life who would be in
27:33this baby's life
27:34like if i don't know where the soft spot is i know that the village will
27:41why aren't you squeezing my arm because you're doing great
27:47the only reason our friends aren't here right now is because they put their kids first
27:54and that's the type of parents we want to be
27:57that's really great to hear um i actually have a couple more questions that i scribbled down
28:03oh my god brian look i've been collecting these since i was a kid i just love their dumb hair
28:09so
28:10oh me too i used to put on shows with them what guys and trolls evita musicals are like my
28:18jam okay
28:19well now i know you're the mother of our child
28:24oh
28:26Oh, my God.
28:42Hey.
28:44Hey.
28:45What's going on?
28:46I just needed a minute.
28:48I told Dylan I was talking Summer down from some bad Molly.
28:52Good lie.
28:54Frighteningly specific.
28:56You want to tell me what's really up?
28:58We were just hanging out, and someone recognized me from Cheater Cheater Bitch,
29:02and then they read through some comments, and just like that, I'm a girl with a dead mom again.
29:10Oh, man.
29:13Is it always going to be like this?
29:16I'm afraid so.
29:19Awesome.
29:20I do think it's going to get easier with time.
29:23Like when you go off to college.
29:26Unless, of course, you want to do college here and just live with me forever.
29:34You want me to drive you home?
29:36No.
29:38No, I don't want to hide anymore.
29:40I just want people to stop feeling sorry for me.
29:44Do you know why, um, I tell people I have dead wife face?
29:47Because you do?
29:50Partly.
29:52But also because it's almost funny.
29:55So it lets people know they don't have to walk on eggshells around me.
29:58It doesn't always work, but...
30:01It makes me feel like I have some ownership over it.
30:09I'm going to go back inside.
30:11Good.
30:16Promise me you won't drive by and check in.
30:18I promise.
30:20Show me your hands.
30:23Okay.
30:35So, your mom is just going to live in your guest room?
30:38No.
30:39Uh, she said the bed in my guest room is too soft.
30:41The sofa bed in my office is too hard.
30:43Now, I guess our Goldilocks ass is going to sleep in my room,
30:46which apparently is just fucking right.
30:49Oh, you know, when Derek's mom comes to town,
30:51she has to stay 2,000 feet away from our home at all times.
30:54Same rules as sex offenders.
30:56They do not mesh.
30:57I'm sorry, baby.
30:58I'll work on it if you want.
31:01I can work on it if you want?
31:03Who is this lady?
31:04I'm nice now.
31:06Whoa.
31:09Hello, Stuart.
31:10So you said 2,000 feet away?
31:12Damn, you got on a registry or something?
31:14Can you be on a registry if you emotionally abuse children?
31:17I don't know.
31:17Okay.
31:20Yeah, we'll talk tomorrow.
31:24What'd he say?
31:24What?
31:27She went with the other couple.
31:29Seriously?
31:30Oh, guys.
31:31You know, I never thought I'd say this,
31:33but fuck that pregnant bitch.
31:35I've actually heard you say that like six or seven times.
31:37Yeah.
31:39I really thought she'd pick us.
31:42Why?
31:43Why?
31:43Why are you looking at me like that?
31:44You don't know how much it means to me to see how disappointed you are.
31:50So you're happy that I'm sad?
31:51What the fuck?
31:52Yeah, do better, Charlie.
31:54Honestly, I thought y'all were both on board with that little week.
31:56Yeah.
31:56Welcome to the club, buddy.
32:01Like, my mom was being such a bitch about curfew.
32:05Like, sometimes I honestly just wish she would disappear forever.
32:10Oh, I can't believe I just said that.
32:13Oh, my God.
32:14Look at you.
32:14You hate me.
32:15No, I'm fine.
32:17I just have dead mom face.
32:21That was a good one.
32:23No.
32:24You're okay.
32:25I just want to.
32:43And all we want is love.
32:51And all we want is fun.
32:55And all we want is love
32:59And all we want is fun
33:02Time out, we deserve a new world
33:05A place where we can
33:08It's easy
33:15And all we want is love
33:16And all we want is fun
33:23And all we want is love
33:26And all we want is fun
33:28And all we want is love
33:31And all we want is fun
33:35And all we want is love
33:39And all we want is fun
33:44Bye bye
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