The Monster Squad

The Atomic Cafe

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Transcript

00:00:28Transcription by CastingWords

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00:05:46Oh, never mind!

00:05:47Oh, never mind!

00:05:48Oh, never mind!

00:05:53Oh, never mind!

00:06:16Oh, my God.

00:06:51Well, well, well.

00:06:52Are you two sitting comfortably?

00:06:55Good.

00:06:56Now, gentlemen, do you see these file folders?

00:07:01The ones with your names on them?

00:07:04Can you guess what's in these file folders?

00:07:07I'll give you a hint.

00:07:08Discipline reports.

00:07:10Lots of them.

00:07:11And some wonderful artwork as well.

00:07:14Well, this is...

00:07:16Spider with human head?

00:07:18I'm sorry, spider?

00:07:20With human head.

00:07:21Yeah, he eats dogs and cats and rabbits.

00:07:25Does he?

00:07:26Sean thought him up.

00:07:27You see, sir, we kind of have this monster club, okay?

00:07:30And we draw those pictures to put on our clubhouse walls.

00:07:32Correction, Mr. Crenshaw.

00:07:34You draw pictures during Mrs. Carlson's science class

00:07:37when you're supposed to be paying attention.

00:07:39Wait, I just want to say one thing.

00:07:41I mean, Mrs. Carlson's a nice teacher, no?

00:07:44But she's boring and has an odd-shaped head.

00:07:46That's why Sean and the guys call meow mix,

00:07:48because her head's shaped like a cat head.

00:07:50But I don't, sir, because...

00:07:51How rude.

00:07:56Boys?

00:07:58I hear you.

00:08:00I was a kid once.

00:08:02I thought monsters were cool.

00:08:05And maybe...

00:08:05Well, gosh.

00:08:06Maybe I'm just a big kid because Sean, Patrick...

00:08:10I think science...

00:08:12is cool.

00:08:15I dig it, man.

00:08:19Now, I'm sure both of you know a great deal about monsters,

00:08:22but that's not the issue here.

00:08:23The issue is...

00:08:25science is real.

00:08:28Monsters are not.

00:08:32We don't know that, sir.

00:08:37God, can you believe Mr. Metzger?

00:08:39Tell me about it.

00:08:39You're just touching me,

00:08:40patting my shoulders and stuff.

00:08:41I think I was fully homoing out.

00:08:43I smell like the 40s.

00:08:44I mean, when they send you to school,

00:08:45won't they tell you about the homos

00:08:46and the people with cat heads?

00:08:48Oh!

00:08:55Sorry, Mrs. Carlson.

00:09:00Meow.

00:09:01Meow.

00:09:02She's Mary, Sean.

00:09:03Oh, my God.

00:09:04Some got kissed us over the night.

00:09:05I mean, a priest said I now pronounce

00:09:07the man and wife,

00:09:08and it was okay with him?

00:09:09Hey, where's Fat Kid?

00:09:14Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,

00:09:15and welcome to our show.

00:09:16Tonight's question,

00:09:17what makes Fat Kid fat?

00:09:19Fat Kid?

00:09:20Get out of here, E.J.

00:09:21Get out of here, E.J.

00:09:22Nope, not a good answer.

00:09:23Doesn't make any sense.

00:09:24Let's go to our man on the street, Derek.

00:09:26Hi, I'm Derek,

00:09:26and I'm in the street

00:09:27where Fat Kid is blocking traffic.

00:09:28Fat Kid, can't you stop eating?

00:09:33Look, I have a glandular problem, okay?

00:09:35At least I don't have a stupidity problem.

00:09:38What'd you say, faggot?

00:09:40What'd you say?

00:09:40My name's Horace.

00:09:43Horace.

00:09:48Oops.

00:09:49It's Horace.

00:09:51I guess I must have a stupidity problem.

00:09:54What'd you say, faggot?

00:09:55What'd you say?

00:09:55I said you're an asshole.

00:10:18Hey, Rudy.

00:10:20E.J.

00:10:23Jay, I see you met my friend Horace.

00:10:25You okay?

00:10:28Rudy, I...

00:10:29Shh!

00:10:31You dropped your candy bar, EJ.

00:10:33It's his.

00:10:35It's yours now.

00:10:39Rudy.

00:10:39Eat.

00:10:40Rudy, I'm not gonna see you.

00:10:42Eat up!

00:10:43And we'll call it a day.

00:11:07Look, Patrick, I told you before, Wolfman cannot drive a car.

00:11:10Yes, he can't.

00:11:11No, he can't.

00:11:11Yes, he can't.

00:11:12All I'm saying is, Sean, he could if he had to.

00:11:15He could not. You're being such a dork.

00:11:16I know you are, but what am I?

00:11:17A dork?

00:11:18I know you are, but what am I?

00:11:19Oh, great, Ephib.

00:11:19A dork?

00:11:20I know you are, but what am I?

00:11:21A dork?

00:11:21I know you are, but what am I?

00:11:22Infinity, look, Wolfman doesn't go to work.

00:11:25He's not like a guy.

00:11:26What are you talking about?

00:11:27He walks around, he wears pants.

00:11:29He had to wear pants, because those movies were made in the 40s.

00:11:32He had to wear them, so he wouldn't see his wolf dork.

00:11:37Wolf dork?

00:11:41Guys.

00:11:44I saw him. He's watching us.

00:11:46Who?

00:11:47Gary Truman guy.

00:11:51Sean, he gives me the creeps.

00:11:52He's just a dude on welfare.

00:11:54Maybe he's a German spy.

00:11:56Oh, good one.

00:11:57One at a war with Germany anymore.

00:11:58One war with Vietnam.

00:12:00What?

00:12:01It's in Rambo.

00:12:02You guys missed it!

00:12:04Fuck it.

00:12:04Rudy said my life.

00:12:06Do you think we could talk him into joining the Monster Club?

00:12:08Can we?

00:12:10Paddle.

00:12:12Sean, he's in Tuner High.

00:12:14I heard he called his dad.

00:12:15Get out of here, Phoebe the Phoebe.

00:12:23Okay, you guys.

00:12:24We should let him in on one condition.

00:12:27Monster test.

00:12:37You find that guy, Gary?

00:12:40I found it.

00:12:41I found it, Gary.

00:12:42You know what I found?

00:12:43I found it, Gary.

00:12:45You know what I found?

00:12:47I'm depressed.

00:12:48What for?

00:12:49What do you mean, what for?

00:12:50I'm flying a World War II bomber with wooden crates in it and dead bodies.

00:12:53I should have a party.

00:12:54Do they complain?

00:12:55Do they get airsick?

00:12:56Do they ask for more of the little almond things?

00:13:00You're right.

00:13:01This is a great job.

00:13:02I'm really happy.

00:13:11I thought they were dead.

00:13:13They are.

00:13:16I'm going to, uh, I'm going to check it out.

00:13:22Okay.

00:13:23Go on.

00:13:25You do that.

00:13:28I'll stay here and make spooky sounds.

00:13:54Come on.

00:13:55Come on.

00:13:56Come on.

00:13:57You just son of a bitch.

00:14:26You just son of a bitch.

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00:19:02TO NORWAY

00:19:03HE WOULD STILL

00:19:03RETURN FROM THE GRAVE

00:19:04THAT WAS PART 7

00:19:06YOU WANT TO KNOW

00:19:07WHAT THE PLOT IS

00:19:08THE PLOT TO SEPARATE

00:19:09YOU FROM MY 5 BUCK

00:19:10I WANT TO SEE

00:19:11A STUPID MOVIE

00:19:11WELL YOU CAN'T

00:19:12YOU'RE BABYSITTING

00:19:13FINE

00:19:15CAN I FIVE BUCKS ANYWAY

00:19:16ABSOLUTELY

00:19:18SO WHERE ARE YOU TWO

00:19:19GOING TONIGHT

00:19:20MARRIAGE COUNCILOR

00:19:21AGAIN

00:19:22I THOUGHT YOU QUIT SMOKING

00:19:25JOHN

00:19:28JOHN

00:19:30I love you dearly, but do me a favor, put your basic lid on it.

00:19:35Now get out of here.

00:19:40Hello, here.

00:19:40Officer, please, lock me up! I'm a werewolf! I'm a werewolf!

00:19:45Hey, Dale. Bad news.

00:19:47Hey!

00:19:56Listen, I gotta go downtown.

00:19:59Can you reschedule that appointment?

00:20:03Honey, I'm a cop, okay?

00:20:05You knew that when you bought the package.

00:20:08Look, it's important.

00:20:10I'm important.

00:20:12I love you.

00:20:13Prove it.

00:20:15I'll see you in a few hours.

00:20:19Just for a knife.

00:20:20You see, it's a full moon.

00:20:21And I'm a werewolf.

00:20:22Take it easy.

00:20:22You don't understand.

00:20:24You gotta lock me up.

00:20:24You gotta put me in a cage.

00:20:26Honey, I'd like nothing better.

00:20:27Hold on to your bench.

00:20:29You don't understand.

00:20:30You've got to lose anything you think.

00:20:34Cops on him.

00:20:34I got it.

00:20:36I got it.

00:20:38Jesus Christ!

00:20:39Let go!

00:20:53Knock me up!

00:20:59Let me get this straight.

00:21:01You're telling me there was this 2,000-year-old mummy here, right?

00:21:05Yes, sir.

00:21:05Uh-huh.

00:21:06But now he's not here.

00:21:07He's gone.

00:21:08Vanished history.

00:21:09Just...

00:21:10And you're saying you didn't hear anybody come in here or leave, is that right?

00:21:14Can you hear me now?

00:21:15Hello?

00:21:16I can hear you fine.

00:21:17So nobody took the mummy.

00:21:19I would've heard him.

00:21:21Of course he would've.

00:21:21What a stupid question.

00:21:24Did you take him?

00:21:25No, sir.

00:21:26Just a shot.

00:21:28That's it, Dale.

00:21:29This case is too hard, man.

00:21:31Let's be firemen instead.

00:21:32I'm glad you're getting major laughs out of this, Rich.

00:21:35The problem is, 2,000-year-old dead guys do not get up and walk away by themselves!

00:21:59This is Ackerman Control.

00:22:02Uh, request confirmation.

00:22:03You have the 915H officer involved shooting en route.

00:22:36What a mess.

00:22:41Oh, Rick, oh my god, you can never see.

00:22:44Where's Steve and Judy?

00:22:45I thought they were with you.

00:22:46Oh, Miser.

00:22:47You're out in the car, thank you.

00:22:50Is that funny?

00:22:52Well, something's funny.

00:22:54What'd I miss?

00:22:56Beep!

00:22:59Hey!

00:23:01Oh, Jeremy, you scared us.

00:23:03Now, never mind about that.

00:23:04Look at this!

00:23:05Look at the business partner.

00:23:11I'm gonna tell you, you wanna come over here, Tina?

00:23:15Look at this.

00:23:16Unit 7.

00:23:18Unit 7, come in, please.

00:23:21Please copy.

00:23:23Wait, just what I need.

00:23:24What?

00:23:27I can't hear you.

00:23:28No, no, no, I said missing.

00:23:30The body's missing. It's the second one tonight.

00:23:32Confirm that makes two tonight, right, Lieutenant?

00:23:34Ha-ha, that's very funny.

00:23:36And you wanna shut up about it?

00:23:42No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

00:23:48no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

00:23:49no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

00:24:06Oh, my God.

00:24:36Oh, my God.

00:25:07Oh, my God.

00:25:21It's been so long.

00:25:31So very long.

00:25:33Oh, my God.

00:25:35Oh, my God.

00:26:01It is our time.

00:26:31Oh, my God.

00:26:55And you put the candle next to your bed like this.

00:26:59Your mom did this when you were a little girl?

00:27:02Uh-huh.

00:27:03It means I love you.

00:27:04And as long as it's here, nothing bad can happen.

00:27:07Sean says when it lightnings, monsters come.

00:27:10Oh, he's just trying to scare you, honey.

00:27:13Will lightning hit the house?

00:27:15No.

00:27:15Oh, the candle keeps it away.

00:27:17Oh, the candle keeps it away.

00:27:19That's right.

00:27:21Say goodnight to Scraps.

00:27:23Goodnight, Scraps.

00:27:25Goodnight, Emily.

00:27:26Mwah!

00:27:26Goodnight, sweetheart.

00:27:29Are you gonna yell at him?

00:27:33Honey, honey, I love your father.

00:27:36What?

00:27:38I mean, Sean, for scaring me.

00:27:42Of course you did.

00:27:43I'll talk to him about it, sweetheart.

00:27:46Sweet dreams.

00:27:53You're thinking about your job.

00:27:55Isn't that right?

00:27:56I can see it in your eyes, Del.

00:27:58Yeah.

00:27:59I'm glad you can see it in my eyes.

00:28:00Because for a minute there, I thought I had you fooled.

00:28:02Come on.

00:28:02This isn't helping.

00:28:03No, come on.

00:28:03Look in my eyes.

00:28:04Look in my eyes.

00:28:05I'll think about stuff, and you can tell me when I'm thinking correctly.

00:28:08Pull your voice, Del.

00:28:09I don't want the children to...

00:28:10I had a lousy night, all right?

00:28:12Well, every night I have a lousy night.

00:28:14I'm sorry if that's a pain in the ass for you, but my stupid little job...

00:28:17I am trying to explain...

00:28:18Some guy steals a priceless Egyptian mummy.

00:28:21We'll excuse you.

00:28:22I'd have it every day.

00:28:23Skip that.

00:28:24You're gonna get a call from some nutcase who's shouting is a werewolf, huh?

00:28:27You like that?

00:28:28So what do they do?

00:28:29They blow away right there in a position.

00:28:32And wait a minute.

00:28:32There is more to this.

00:28:34What do you want to do?

00:28:35There is more to this.

00:28:36The driver is more to this.

00:28:39A woman's two marriage counselor.

00:28:42But no one.

00:28:42I'm not.

00:28:44It's mine.

00:28:45Hey, I just...

00:28:46It's mine.

00:29:00It's mine.

00:29:17What?

00:29:18There's a monster in my closet.

00:29:25Damn, son, look at all of these monsters.

00:29:28Come on, all of you monsters, out of here.

00:29:30Everyone, out of this room.

00:29:32You, on the bed.

00:29:34Come on, out, out, take a hike.

00:29:36There he goes.

00:29:39You see any more monsters?

00:29:45In the closet?

00:29:48Sure, we can go into the closet.

00:29:50We can do that.

00:29:54Okay, monsters.

00:29:57Ooh, look at that big, scary monster.

00:30:01Ooh.

00:30:05Listen, you are not going to sleep with your mother and me tonight so you can forget it.

00:30:08And keep this up, and you're not going to look at those monster magazines.

00:30:12Understand?

00:30:30Okay, we're all here.

00:30:31What's the deal?

00:30:33Yeah, what the hell's Monster Squad?

00:30:34It's us.

00:30:36We're the Monster Squad.

00:30:38Since when?

00:30:39Since now.

00:30:40What's a squad?

00:30:41It's like Miami Vice, I think.

00:30:44Look, I think there's monsters.

00:30:46Like real ones.

00:30:47I heard my dad talking on the telephone to a guy down at the police station.

00:30:51There was a guy screaming he was a werewolf.

00:30:53And they shot him.

00:30:54Then the body disappeared from the coroner van.

00:30:56And the coroner guy was dead.

00:30:58So what?

00:30:59He got shot in a world, took his body?

00:31:01No, you peenhead.

00:31:02He was a werewolf.

00:31:04Maybe.

00:31:05But if they shot him?

00:31:06It must have been regular bullets, not silver ones.

00:31:09Look, I know this will sound pretty stupid, but a mummy disappeared from the museum tonight.

00:31:14Mummy came in my house.

00:31:18And you guys, Dracula might be here too.

00:31:23Oh, man.

00:31:24Fat kid farted.

00:31:25Oh, God.

00:31:26Did not do this.

00:31:27Can't you hold it?

00:31:28I got it.

00:31:29God damn it, would you shut up?

00:31:31Did you hear a word I said?

00:31:33The guys are dead.

00:31:34Get a clue?

00:31:35Something's out there and it's killing people.

00:31:37And if it's monsters, nobody's gonna do a thing about it but us.

00:31:43So what do we do?

00:31:45I think this book might be important.

00:31:47Look, it's Van Helsing's diary.

00:31:48My mom said they found an old house on Shatterbrook Road.

00:31:51But I can't read it.

00:31:52It's all in German.

00:31:53My sister takes German in high school.

00:31:55Sister doesn't speak German.

00:31:57All she does is hang around and the guys touch her tits.

00:32:00Sister wouldn't happen to live next door, would she?

00:32:02Yeah, so what?

00:32:04That girl's your sister?

00:32:07So what do you say?

00:32:08Are we monster squad?

00:32:11Or what?

00:32:18All right.

00:32:20How does that dog get up here anyway?

00:32:22How does that dog get up here anyway?

00:33:01Old friend, I hope you like your new girl.

00:33:07Home.

00:33:27I'm asleep soon.

00:33:29So listen very carefully.

00:33:31Van Helsing's diary is missing.

00:33:36I want you to retrieve it for me.

00:33:40You understand?

00:33:42Yes, master.

00:33:45Children possess it.

00:33:48I want you to find them and take the diary.

00:33:52If they do not cooperate,

00:33:56you will kill them.

00:34:02Gentlemen, I'd just like to say three words.

00:34:06Scary German guy.

00:34:12Who else are we going to get to translate this thing?

00:34:16Come on, somebody go up and knock.

00:34:18You knock.

00:34:19You're a leader.

00:34:23Seriously, he's scary, okay?

00:34:25And B, he's German.

00:34:27Maybe he doesn't even speak English.

00:34:29Okay, so what's German for?

00:34:31Please don't murder us.

00:34:33Bitte, morden Sie uns nicht.

00:34:36I'll get to see you next.

00:35:00Boys...

00:35:01Please, time is almost up.

00:35:07It's your last chance for pies.

00:35:11Thanks, Mr. God.

00:35:12Here we go.

00:35:13Hi, me.

00:35:13No, thanks.

00:35:19And so.

00:35:20Now.

00:35:21Now.

00:35:22There were we.

00:35:25Ah, yeah.

00:35:27The amulet itself is fairly small and carved with intricate symbols.

00:35:33Oh.

00:35:35Rather a hard-looking thing, don't you think?

00:35:38Scary German guy's bitchin'.

00:35:40So the thing I don't understand is the part about the equilibrium.

00:35:44Well, according to this rather curious book you have brought me,

00:35:48The Forces of Good and Evil...

00:35:51That is a B-17, in case you are wondering.

00:35:55It's rad.

00:35:55Good and evil are in constant flux, back and forth.

00:36:01Only once every hundred years are these forces balanced.

00:36:06And what about the amulet?

00:36:07The amulet, so nearly as I can translate, is concentrated.

00:36:14Good.

00:36:15It is a talisman which wards off evil and is...

00:36:21How you say?

00:36:23Uh...

00:36:25Indestructible?

00:36:26That means it can't be destroyed.

00:36:27Or in any case, normally destroyed.

00:36:32However, and this part is underlined.

00:36:35Once every hundred years, at the stroke of midnight, the amulet becomes vulnerable.

00:36:45And at that moment, it can be shattered.

00:36:51And if it is?

00:36:53Then the balance between good and evil will shift.

00:36:57And evil will rule.

00:37:01However, our friend Mr. Van Helsing claims...

00:37:05There is a way to stop the forces of darkness.

00:37:10How?

00:37:10If one could gain possession of the amulet before those forces...

00:37:19Then every hundred years at midnight, there is another option.

00:37:25A ceremony, which when followed to the letter...

00:37:30Will open a hole into limbo itself...

00:37:36Where dwell the damned.

00:37:38A vortex, which like a great whirlwind...

00:37:44Can swallow the forces of evil forever.

00:37:51Does it describe the procedure at all?

00:37:53In detail, this was the last entry.

00:37:57On this date, he was to battle those forces himself.

00:38:04Interesting.

00:38:05Tis tomorrow's date.

00:38:07One hundred years ago.

00:38:16A hundred years ago?

00:38:21Tomorrow night?

00:38:25The two of us who have come...

00:38:26Thank you very much.

00:38:27Thank you very much.

00:38:27Thank you for all your time.

00:38:29Bye.

00:38:30I expect you both thought I was some kind of monster myself.

00:38:33Hm?

00:38:34A vampire, perhaps?

00:38:36That's quite all right.

00:38:37But I am not, you know.

00:38:40If I were a vampire, then I wouldn't have a reflection.

00:38:47Now, would I?

00:38:50Man, you sure know a lot about monsters.

00:38:54Now that you mention it, I suppose I do.

00:39:04Guys, what up?

00:39:08Tomorrow night?

00:39:09What do we have to do again?

00:39:10Blow a hole in Dumbo?

00:39:12Limbo, stupid.

00:39:13So how do we know the amulet's there anyway?

00:39:16Because you dweeb.

00:39:17Drac is obviously here looking for it.

00:39:19If we don't find it for he does, we're beast bait.

00:39:22Okay, so say we get the amulet.

00:39:24Then what?

00:39:24We wait till midnight and?

00:39:26We get a virgin.

00:39:27A virgin?

00:39:29Okay, right.

00:39:30Then what?

00:39:31Well, our virgin takes the amulet,

00:39:33reads the magic spell from the book, and blammo!

00:39:36We blow a hole in limbo.

00:39:38That's so easy.

00:39:39Oh, Sanj.

00:39:40It's cake.

00:39:45Rudy!

00:39:46Question.

00:39:47Shit.

00:39:48No any virgin.

00:39:51Okay, Rudy, find some silver bullets.

00:39:53Where the hell am I supposed to find silver bullets?

00:39:55I don't know.

00:39:56Give me a break.

00:39:57Fat kid, get a map.

00:39:58Find Shadowbrook Road.

00:39:59Do I look in the index for big scary mansions?

00:40:02Oh, you're a riot.

00:40:03You guys!

00:40:07How can we trust scary German guys?

00:40:10Why would he lie about a thing like this?

00:40:12Sean!

00:40:13Phoebe, handle life, okay?

00:40:14You're being a spaz.

00:40:15Ow!

00:40:16God!

00:40:16You bit me, you brat!

00:40:17I'm telling Mom on you!

00:40:19Would you look?

00:40:22You're the only one.

00:40:22That's more than whatever you want.

00:40:24I was telling you why, Don't tell him.

00:40:31You've been waiting.

00:40:32I'm telling you, Don't tell him, what?

00:40:32He's telling you.

00:40:32No.

00:40:33No.

00:40:37I don't know.

00:40:38No, no.

00:40:39No.

00:40:55It's okay, you guys.

00:40:57He's friends with us.

00:40:59Come on, don't be trick-and-trip.

00:41:04Come on, I want to show you my friends.

00:41:16Sean, no.

00:41:17Oh, go for it.

00:41:19Sean, are you crazy?

00:41:20That's a walking dead guy.

00:41:22Sean, please don't die.

00:41:31Are... are you dead?

00:41:32Dead.

00:41:34Does Mom know about him?

00:41:36No, only us.

00:41:37Hey, guys, get over here.

00:41:38He's great.

00:41:44Now can I be in the monster club?

00:41:49Can't believe it.

00:41:51Frankenstein's monster in our clubhouse.

00:41:53Let's ask him to leave, okay?

00:41:55You're not still scared, are you?

00:41:57Well, he is a little bit gross, Sean.

00:41:59Crash.

00:42:01Crash.

00:42:02I taught him to talk.

00:42:04Oh, gosh.

00:42:05Let's give me a break.

00:42:10Huddle up, you guys.

00:42:14Sean, we gotta get an adult.

00:42:16And your dad's a cop, so if we get your dad...

00:42:19Absolutely no grown-ups, okay?

00:42:21They'll lock him up in a cage or something.

00:42:23Dissect him.

00:42:23Or put him on TV.

00:42:25Is that it?

00:42:27Why are you such a lame-oid?

00:42:28You're the lame-oid.

00:42:30Focus.

00:42:32Focus.

00:42:34Dudes, check it out.

00:42:43What?

00:43:04Gary?

00:43:05I'm fine.

00:43:42The amulet is near, very near, yes.

00:43:45Oh, Van Helsing, your disciples were very clumsy

00:43:49trying to hide from me the very thing that is mine.

00:43:52No hiding, never from me.

00:43:58It's here!

00:44:16Oh, my prize.

00:44:23So Van Helsing, soon the creatures of the night

00:44:27shall rule the world.

00:44:30And there is no one to stop it!

00:44:52I don't want to go home, I don't want to leave the floor.

00:45:00Someone turn the lights down, throw the cage and lock the door.

00:45:07We ain't gonna let this feeling un-ease-up.

00:45:11We gotta cut loose and turn it up all the way.

00:45:14Rock until you drop.

00:45:18Dance until your heart stops.

00:45:21Rock until you drop.

00:45:25Dance until your feet fall.

00:45:28I don't want to go home, I don't want to sit down, I don't need no easy, yeah.

00:45:36Someone turn the clock back, we ain't gonna go no way.

00:45:41Hey!

00:45:43Now we're gonna go in big like thunder.

00:45:46No one can stop it!

00:45:48No one can stop us now, we're going all the way!

00:45:50No one can stop us now, we're going all the way!

00:45:51Rock until you drop.

00:45:54Dance until your heart stops.

00:45:57Rock until you drop.

00:46:01Dance until your feet fall off.

00:46:04And up, up, up, up.

00:46:19We ain't gonna let this feeling under

00:46:23Cut it, lose your rock to blue

00:46:26Now we gotta go with midnight under

00:46:30It's totally random, it's boo-boo, it's boo-boo, it's cool

00:46:33Rock until you drop

00:46:37Dance until your heart stops

00:46:41Rock until you drop

00:46:44Dance until your feet fall off

00:46:47You better be beating up

00:46:51Dance until your heart stops

00:46:54If you find a city

00:46:56Rock until you drop

00:46:57Rock until you fall

00:47:00Until your brains fall out

00:47:02Rock until you drop

00:47:04Rock until you drop

00:47:06Dance until your heart stops

00:47:08Rock until you drop

00:47:10Rock until you drop

00:47:13Dance until your feet fall off

00:47:21I do regret the dosage, my friend

00:47:29Most, um, lethal

00:47:32By human standards

00:47:36Then, um, human standards do not apply, do they?

00:47:42Well then, I'll, um, go have a bite

00:47:45Will you change into something more, um, comfortable?

00:48:12Ah!

00:48:13Uh!

00:48:35Last night, near the ambulance crash?

00:48:38Get this, eyewitness report.

00:48:40A long black hearse.

00:48:42No plates.

00:48:43You want to ask me about the hood ornament?

00:48:45What about the hood ornament?

00:48:46I thought you'd never ask.

00:48:48A silver skull.

00:48:52I consider this an exciting lead.

00:48:54I'm excited.

00:48:54Are you excited?

00:48:55I'm thrilled.

00:48:56Put on an APB.

00:48:57I already did.

00:48:58I'm a very good policeman, you know?

00:49:07Crenshaw.

00:49:08Hurry, get all your men and send them down to 666 Shonabrook Road.

00:49:11It's an old mansion.

00:49:13He's found the amulet.

00:49:14There's no time.

00:49:15Who the hell is this?

00:49:16I'm the one they shot last night.

00:49:18I'm a werewolf now.

00:49:19Have a nice night.

00:49:20No, no, no, no.

00:49:21Don't hang up.

00:49:24He's going to kill your son.

00:49:28get out of here.

00:49:28No, no, no, no.

00:49:28A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a

00:49:36-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a

00:49:38-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a

00:49:42-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a

00:49:50-a.

00:50:08Come in Patrick yeah, we're here. Where are you? We're almost there everything's up with you know in a minute.

00:50:15Rudy

00:50:15Rudy this babe is major Rudy's in love good for Rudy

00:50:27Thanks a lot Pete

00:50:38Okay remember rendezvous position a 2200 hours 10 o'clock doofus

00:50:47we don't but it's all we have to go on I know you are what am I out what Eugene

00:50:56creature stole my

00:50:57Twinkie

00:51:06so what did you want to ask me what we want to ask you okay this

00:51:13me and me Rudy your show ways okay we just wanted to know

00:51:27okay what we want to know is are you a really look what's your brother is so delicately attempting to

00:51:37inquire and let me have my own personal curiosity is the degree to which you may

00:51:41have or have not at some point in time

00:51:50been dorked

00:51:52you guys are sick

00:51:55guess what

00:51:57Fox photos got a two-for-one deal this weekend wouldn't you know it there's a space on the

00:52:03bulletin board right between the prom committee notes and the football roster

00:52:09so

00:52:17Sean about this monster squad thing maybe we could go back to the clubhouse and rethink it with the other

00:52:24guy

00:52:24Hey, fat kid, you're being a wuss.

00:52:27W-w-wuss?

00:52:29Can it, Frank. Time's running out.

00:52:33Sean Ho! Scary house, real monsters, us, 12 years old, remember?

00:52:40Midnight in the world, remember?

00:52:43Master is near.

00:52:48Master wants children dead.

00:53:04Um, Sean, maybe we can be like Math Squad instead, you know?

00:53:09Do math problems, stay home, or Nature Squad.

00:53:13We could look at rocks like birds, not be dead.

00:53:16See? It's this whole death thing I'm not crazy about.

00:53:53Um, it's this whole story.

00:53:54So, what happened?

00:53:59Well, no amulet. Let's go.

00:54:03Look, we got two consolations.

00:54:05Number one, Frankenstein's on our side.

00:54:07Number two, my dad's a cop.

00:54:10Anybody fools around with us, he kicks their ass.

00:54:14Hey, Frankie, come on.

00:54:36Frank!

00:54:40Wake up! Wake up!

00:54:43Eugene, get away from there!

00:54:45Wake up!

00:54:47If I can use your eyes, it looks like you can help him.

00:54:50But what do we do, Sean? A monster!

00:54:53Don't call him a monster.

00:54:54But what if he's dead?

00:54:56Then he died to help us.

00:54:59Now, look.

00:55:00I'm the leader of this squad.

00:55:03So listen up.

00:55:05You said Dracula knows we're here.

00:55:08So let's just try to find the amulet.

00:55:13And get the hell out of here.

00:55:18What?

00:55:19Kick him in the north!

00:55:21What?

00:55:21Kick him in the north!

00:55:22He doesn't have north!

00:55:23Do it!

00:55:24Do it!

00:55:25Do it!

00:55:28Wolfman's got north.

00:55:29Come on!

00:55:30Come on!

00:55:30Oh!

00:55:34Oh!

00:55:38Oh!

00:55:42Ah!

00:55:44Ah!

00:55:46Ah!

00:55:52Ah!

00:55:55Ah!

00:55:56Ah!

00:55:58Ah!

00:56:01Ah!

00:56:03Ah!

00:56:04Ah!

00:56:06What are you doing?

00:56:07You pulled some lever down and the secret door opens!

00:56:11You've got to be kidding!

00:56:12You have a better idea!

00:56:24Come on, Sean.

00:56:26Damn, where is he?

00:56:28Where are you? Come in!

00:56:31Sean!

00:56:32Where are you, Sean?

00:56:35Ten o'clock.

00:56:37They're late.

00:56:38Maybe the monster's got them.

00:56:51Can I go home, Sean?

00:56:53Please!

00:56:53Oh, great!

00:56:54Please!

00:56:55Just great!

00:56:57I want to go home.

00:56:57Please!

00:56:57Can I go home?

00:56:57I just want to go home.

00:56:59Eugene's whining.

00:56:59We're sitting here with a pirate bill.

00:57:02I'm running.

00:57:04Eugene's stuck!

00:57:10Bingo.

00:57:38Hey, guys, I got it!

00:57:41Give it to me!

00:57:45Get out of here!

00:57:47Give it to me!

00:57:54Garlic!

00:57:55Come on, get out of here!

00:58:15You guys, I got a scary German guy to help us!

00:58:18The Calvary! Thank Christ!

00:58:20Yeah, we figured you guys were in trouble.

00:58:22It was Boss! I saw Dracula!

00:58:24And I kicked Wolfman in the Nartex!

00:58:26Is she a virgin?

00:58:27Why don't you put it on this 6 o'clock news, you little shit?

00:58:30Yeah, she is.

00:58:31Perhaps we should all go back to my place for some pie.

00:58:35The book is right.

00:58:38Don't you see? It's all true.

00:58:40We found the airman, but now there's monsters after us.

00:58:43We gotta go to a place where there's a lot of people.

00:58:46Church! What? Church!

00:58:48He's right. There's an old church in the town plaza.

00:58:51Perfect. Monsters hate religious stuff.

00:58:55Dale! Dale! Dale! Look! I'm sorry.

00:58:58What, you trying to tell me that we're gonna go all the way out the Shadowbrick road

00:59:01because you get a call from some guy who tells you he's a werewolf?

00:59:07Look, I'm sorry. I guess it's feasible, Dale.

00:59:09Listen to me. Come on, man. I apologize, all right?

00:59:19Look! It's 20 minutes till midnight!

00:59:21We pulled us off! I'm gonna shit!

00:59:23Hey!

00:59:26Hey!

00:59:30Hey!

00:59:31Holy cow!

00:59:32Give me some slack!

00:59:39Hey!

00:59:39Get me some slack!

00:59:40What are you doing?

00:59:41Tax, just get me some slack!

00:59:42No!

00:59:43Get closer! Just get me some slack!

00:59:44No, Wes!

00:59:45Don't be a wuss!

00:59:46Okay!

00:59:47Get him!

00:59:49Ah!

00:59:49I'm gonna get off the air, please!

00:59:54Ah!

00:59:55Ah!

00:59:57Ah!

01:00:06Ah!

01:00:09Ah!

01:00:10Ah!

01:00:11Ah!

01:00:12Ah!

01:00:13Ah!

01:00:14Ah!

01:00:16Ah!

01:00:21Ah!

01:00:23See you later, Band-Aid breath!

01:00:26Ah!

01:00:27Ah!

01:00:30Ah!

01:00:30Dale, I don't know if you're aware of this, but we're going a hundred miles an hour.

01:00:33I notice little things like that.

01:00:35I'm a very good policeman, you know that?

01:00:56I'm not saying anything, not a single word.

01:01:01I appreciate that.

01:01:33I appreciate it.

01:01:41I appreciate it.

01:01:43Meeting adjourned.

01:01:57Dispatch to Unit 28, please.

01:01:59Freeze!

01:02:00You move it, I'll kill you!

01:02:06Dispatch, we got a 1035.

01:02:08Sit back up.

01:02:08Hurry it up!

01:02:11Get out of there!

01:02:37I will have your son.

01:02:39I will have your son.

01:02:58Del?

01:03:00Del?

01:03:01Del, what's happening?

01:03:04What?

01:03:04You can't.

01:03:07John?

01:03:08Phoebe.

01:03:09Phoebe!

01:03:11John!

01:03:12Phoebe!

01:03:18John, can you hear me?

01:03:20Where are you?

01:03:22John!

01:03:24Can you hear me?

01:03:25Where are you?

01:03:26Dad, I'm here.

01:03:27We're almost to town square.

01:03:28Hurry up!

01:03:48Don't kick the church.

01:03:49It's religious.

01:03:50It's locked is what it is.

01:03:51Fine.

01:03:55We'll just have to do it right here.

01:03:56Like, really religious, Sean.

01:03:58Why don't we just go over and do it in Burger King?

01:04:00You guys.

01:04:06Oh, shit.

01:04:07Patrick, come on.

01:04:08Okay, come on.

01:04:09Read the book.

01:04:09Right, right.

01:04:10Read.

01:04:11Go.

01:04:11Wait.

01:04:12Read.

01:04:12I'm fucking German.

01:04:14He's speaking here in China.

01:04:16Ick, Ickwitz and Gertsheim.

01:04:18Damn, you really, you should read it.

01:04:20He's not a virgin, you stupid.

01:04:22Did you ask him?

01:04:23Where you going, Rudy?

01:04:24I'm in the goddamn club, aren't I?

01:04:28I don't believe you.

01:04:33Hey, you guys, I can't understand you.

01:04:38Come on, Gertsheim, warehouse.

01:04:43Yeah, yeah, what he said.

01:04:45Okay, Skaggs, come and get it.

01:04:51I don't believe this.

01:05:02Ah!

01:05:11I don't want to eat underwear.

01:05:15Oh, shit.

01:05:16Sean, look out.

01:05:25Dad!

01:05:26You stay there.

01:05:46You stay there.

01:05:46Oh, my God.

01:05:59Fuck on this.

01:06:00You son of a bitch.

01:06:15Hey, asshole.

01:06:17You look.

01:06:18Oh, my God.

01:06:48Let's try it again now, shall we?

01:06:51Look, you've got me. I'm set.

01:06:52Leave it.

01:06:53Come on, wait.

01:07:04Bitte tun sie uns nicht mehr.

01:07:11Oh, my God. I said it.

01:07:14Use it. I have absolutely no idea how...

01:07:20Where's Limbo?

01:07:36We just went through some major shit, and where's the big Limbo thing?

01:07:56Let's go!

01:07:57Let's go! Let's go!

01:08:01Let's go! Let's go!

01:08:10What do you mean, no?

01:08:11Well, Steve, but he doesn't count!

01:08:13Doesn't count!

01:08:26Bang!

01:08:48God, thank you.

01:08:53I told you.

01:08:57Only one way to kill a werewolf.

01:09:08What?

01:09:10Is she a version?

01:09:12Is she a virgin?

01:09:15Yes.

01:09:16A virgin!

01:09:17Where is the girl?

01:09:18She can't read!

01:09:19She's five years old!

01:09:20I'll help her!

01:09:45A-J!

01:09:48Let me in, A-J! Let me in!

01:09:50A-J!

01:09:57A-J!

01:09:59A-J!

01:10:02A-J!

01:10:14Hey, Fackett, good job.

01:10:17My name is Horace.

01:10:22Auf dem Anhalt.

01:10:25Auf dem Anhalt.

01:10:28Auf dem Anhalt.

01:10:30Auf dem Anhalt.

01:10:32Auf dem Anhalt.

01:10:41Auf dem Anhalt.

01:10:42Auf dem Anhalt.

01:10:44Auf dem Anhalt.

01:10:44Hey, hey, hold right there, Manny.

01:10:47Hey, hey, stop right there.

01:10:50Stop!

01:10:53Stop!

01:11:05Die Dunkelheit der Nacht.

01:11:10Die Dunkelheit der Nacht.

01:11:13Die Seele.

01:11:15Den Tod.

01:11:16Den Tod.

01:11:17Und die Licht.

01:11:18Den Tod.

01:11:20Ver...

01:11:21Lass sich...

01:11:24Ver...

01:11:24...me, weiter.

01:11:27Nosferdato!

01:11:46The End!

01:11:59Give me the amulet, you bitch!

01:12:06Give me the amulet, you bitch!

01:12:22Oh, gosh!

01:12:33Pippi!

01:12:37Welche?

01:12:38Welche?

01:12:39Sich rühen!

01:12:41Die Winde!

01:12:42Die Winde!

01:12:43Dass sich blasen!

01:12:45Dass sich blasen!

01:12:46Bitte!

01:12:47Bitte!

01:12:47Tun Sie uns nicht weh!

01:12:51Nicht weh!

01:12:59Ja!

01:13:06Ja!

01:13:30No!

01:13:32No!

01:13:34No!

01:13:34I'm asleep!

01:13:35No!

01:13:43No!

01:13:45No!

01:13:46No!

01:13:49No!

01:13:50No!

01:13:53No!

01:13:56No!

01:13:58No!

01:13:59No!

01:14:22No!

01:14:24No!

01:14:25No!

01:14:26No!

01:14:27No!

01:14:27Go away!

01:14:28Phoebe!

01:14:30Oh!

01:14:30Go!

01:14:31Don't go!

01:14:35Don't go away!

01:14:37I'm right here, Frank!

01:14:38Please don't go!

01:14:40Please don't go away, Frank!

01:14:45Please don't go away, Frank!

01:14:47Why?

01:14:55Oh, my God.

01:15:33Oh, my God.

01:15:52Oh, my God.

01:16:09Who's Eugene?

01:16:12All right, son. Where are they?

01:16:14Where are the monsters?

01:16:15Mommy came in my house.

01:16:21Can somebody tell me what the Sam Hill is going on around here?

01:16:24I'm sorry.

01:16:26Well, we can't, sir.

01:16:28Who are you?

01:16:36We're the Monster Squad.

01:16:55The people come out to fight.

01:16:56The ambulance, they must destroy.

01:16:59Or stand for heaven in his darkest voice.

01:17:01Who can stop that deadly might?

01:17:04Or who will stand up for the right?

01:17:06From the mouth of eggs comes dynamite.

01:17:08The Monster Squad gonna groove tonight.

01:17:11First came Dracula, now the Wolfman too.

01:17:13Mummy and the creature from the black will do.

01:17:15We need silver bullets, we need wooden sticks.

01:17:18Normal stuff won't stop because they live on hate.

01:17:20Speak some magic weapons from a virgin's lips.

01:17:23Maybe that'll shake them, make them slip and trip.

01:17:25There's no turning back, gotta fight to fight.

01:17:27Yeah, the Monster Squad, don't again tonight.

01:17:32Monster Squad.

01:17:33We're the Monster Squad.

01:17:35And the forces of evil.

01:17:37Better run and hide.

01:17:41Monster Squad.

01:17:43We're the Monster Squad.

01:17:44And the forces of evil.

01:17:46Just be aware of the Monster Squad.

01:17:55But it's gonna ruin the Build.

01:17:57It's gonna ruin the Land Lashy.

01:17:57It's gonna ruin it!

01:17:57That's what you have to do!

01:17:59It's gonna ruin it!

01:18:01It's gonna ruin it!

01:18:04It's gonnaCuid France.

01:18:05It's gonna ruin it!

01:18:13Spood with my spirits...

01:18:15The Captain Ralph Burns works�� in the jinx!

01:18:20Now it's time to see what you got inside

01:18:23No evil will, it's game by sight

01:18:25Yeah, the Monster Squad, gonna damn tonight

01:18:27This ain't Halloween or some 40 deal

01:18:30They be playing for keep, they be playing for real

01:18:32They're on darkness straight all across the land

01:18:35We're the only ones left to make a stand

01:18:37We don't wanna hide with the walking dance

01:18:39So we gotta kick some monster butt instead

01:18:42And you'll never see such a ghast aside

01:18:44When the Monster Squad needs a world tonight

01:18:48Monster Squad

01:18:50Where the Monster Squad

01:18:51And the forces of evil

01:19:28Who are the only ones left to make a stand

01:19:35We're the only ones left to make a stand

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