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00:00From Television City in Hollywood, it's Hollywood Squares, starring Mario Cantone, Kristen Scholl, Pete Holmes, June Diane Rayfield, Tashina Arnold,
00:23Beth Behrs, Joe Coy,
00:27Our center square, Drew Barrymore, and me, Tig Notaro. We are your Hollywood Squares. And now, your host, Nate Burleson.
00:45Let's go! Let's go! Welcome to Hollywood Squares! What's up, son?
00:51Wow!
00:52Wow! Look at this.
00:56Hello to our players. Hi.
00:58It's good to have you here. And hello to our center square. Drew, how are you doing?
01:02Woo! Nate! The fashion game on this show.
01:04Nate, you're looking like new money, Nate. You're looking like new money, baby. Woo! That's what I was trying to
01:10say!
01:11I appreciate the compliment. Nate, that suit is so tight.
01:14Oh, my God.
01:15Is that spandex?
01:19This is a little snug. That is sexy. You are a sexy man.
01:22Oh, my God.
01:23All right. Hey, now. Yeah!
01:25Okay. It is good to have everybody here. Mario Cantone, how you doing?
01:29How are you? This is a little high. I'm a little high up here, though. This is kind of like
01:33the towering inferno. It's a little horrifying up here.
01:36I feel like Faye Dunaway. The set is burning!
01:41All right. We have met some of our stars. Now let's meet our players. Lulu, tell the stars a little
01:46bit about yourself.
01:47Hi, Lulu!
01:49Hi, everyone. My name is Lulu Nevy. I'm from Orlando, Florida. And in my family, I'm known as the psychic
01:55of the bunch.
01:56Oh!
01:57I even predicted I was going to be here today. What? Did you win? Did you win? Oh, that was
02:03all good.
02:06All right, Ross. Let's hear about you. My name is Ross. I'm from Larkspur, California.
02:10Yay! Marin!
02:12No way. Really?
02:13Yeah, I am. Class of 04.
02:14I won already.
02:16And my friends call me like a new age Indiana Jones because my job is to create treasure hunts.
02:21Nice!
02:22Wow!
02:23Well, we appreciate you guys being here. Let's talk about how we play this game.
02:26It's your basic game of tic-tac-toe. I will ask one of the stars a question, and you either
02:32agree or disagree.
02:34If you get that answer right, then you get the square. If you don't, then that square goes to your
02:39opponent.
02:39At the end of the game, the player with the most money will play the bonus round, and you have
02:43a shot at $25,000.
02:46Woo!
02:49We also have a secret square hidden somewhere among the stars.
02:54Nate, why is the secret square important? Because I'm obsessed with it.
02:59Because when you pick the square, get the answer right, you will win one of the best vacations that this
03:05show has to offer.
03:06Say no more! Sign me up! Send it!
03:10All right, so before we get started, let's show the audience at home who the secret square is.
03:17All right, let's play some Hollywood Swear!
03:24All right, so the first round is worth $1,000.
03:27Lulu, you won the coin toss. It's on you. Pick your star.
03:29I am going to go with Kristin Shaw.
03:33Okay!
03:35Woo! Kristin!
03:37Kristin Shaw! How are you doing? You okay?
03:40Yeah, I'm nervous. I'm sweating out my feet and my palms.
03:43It's okay. All right, here's your question.
03:46Okay.
03:46As revealed in 2013's Man of Steel, the S on Superman's chest is meant to stand for what?
03:53I would probably think S for special.
03:57Okay.
03:57Because in 2013, they were trying to show that men had strength and that they were sensitive and special.
04:03All right. Do you agree or disagree?
04:06Although I do believe men are special and sensitive, I'm afraid I have to disagree.
04:15It actually stands for hope. So you are correct.
04:18Circle gets the square.
04:22I never knew that.
04:23It stands for hope.
04:24Yeah.
04:24We're concerned.
04:25Does that not make sense? Superman gives everybody hope.
04:28No, that's not tracked at all.
04:29That's just not tracked.
04:30Where do you get hope from S on his chest?
04:32Why doesn't it stand for super?
04:35Yeah.
04:37Moving on. Ross, pick your star.
04:39Okay.
04:40I've been waiting since I was 13 to say this, but I'm going to pick Drew Barrymore.
04:43All right!
04:44Wow!
04:45Thank you, Ross!
04:46Okay, Drew. Here we go. It took her four hours and 24 minutes to do it. But in 2007, NASA
04:53astronaut Sunita Williams did what aboard the International Space Station?
04:58Okay. I feel like there was a marathon situation.
05:06All right. Do you agree or disagree?
05:08Four hours for a marathon seems really fast, but you are in space where there's no gravity.
05:15Right.
05:15All right.
05:16I'm going to agree.
05:18And you are correct.
05:20Yes!
05:20Yes!
05:21Come on!
05:23X gets the square.
05:25Yeah!
05:26All right. Lulu, it is your turn. Go ahead and pick your star.
05:30I am going to go with the amazing Mario Cantone.
05:34All right.
05:36Beautiful, Lulu.
05:38Okay, here we go. Believe it or not, this is a trend around the world. In Germany, they are known
05:43as zitzpinklers. These are men who do what?
05:50Zitzpinklers?
05:51Yeah.
05:52Well, I'm from the suburbs, so we did have sprinklers on our lawn.
05:56Uh-huh.
05:57I would sit on them once in a while.
06:00Oh, no!
06:01Oh, shut up! We were Italian, not French. We didn't have bidets. We had to do something.
06:05Okay.
06:08Um, I think, actually, I know this. I think it's men who sit to pee.
06:13Do you agree or disagree?
06:15I wouldn't know the functionality of that process. And I don't know German. So I agree.
06:26And you are correct.
06:27Oh, my God!
06:28Yeah.
06:29Maybe I do know German.
06:31Circle gets the square.
06:32Thank you.
06:33All right, Ross. Where are you going?
06:35Well, I got to go to the man who saved me hours of time in traffic jams listening to his
06:39podcast.
06:39I'm going with Pete Holmes for the block. Pete Holmes for the block. Yeah.
06:43Yay!
06:43All right, so here you go. A trendsetter, even when he was young, NBA legend Michael Jordan did what to
06:50his body when he was 18?
06:5318.
06:56Uh-oh.
06:57That feels late. I was, like, 11.
07:01You were 11 when you sat down to pee?
07:06Can you say dry hump your mattress on CBS?
07:09Oh, if you can't, then I don't want to live in this country.
07:13Ross, I'm very confident about this. I love Michael Jordan. I think he pierced his ear.
07:19All right. Do you agree or disagree?
07:21Pete's never done me wrong before. I'm going to agree.
07:24Come on, baby.
07:25You are correct.
07:26Yes!
07:27That's it!
07:28Pete, that's it!
07:28And the block!
07:29I love you!
07:30It is time for a quick break. We've got more Hollywood Squares coming right up.
07:42Welcome back to Hollywood Squares.
07:44Before we get back into the game, let's check in with a few of our stars.
07:48June, Diane, Rayfield, how are you doing?
07:50Oh, today is the best day of my life.
07:52Yeah?
07:52Yeah, but every day up until now has been horrible.
07:56Oh, no.
07:57Yeah.
07:59June, bring in the comedy.
08:03By the way, I do love sitting up here with these women.
08:07What?
08:07I feel excited to be in this sandwich.
08:10Yeah, it's a powerful row. It's a powerful row.
08:14And you know what's funny? I didn't even mean that in an overtly sexual way.
08:19Tig, how many sandwiches have you been in?
08:22I'm not, uh, understanding your question.
08:28Saying it in a kind of, like, sexual way?
08:31No, no!
08:31No, that's...
08:32Drew says she's happy to be in this sandwich.
08:35I have been in 12 sandwiches.
08:41Wow, that's a lot.
08:42All right, here's a reminder. The secret square is still on the board.
08:47I know who it is. Do you want me to tell you?
08:49No, no, no, no, no, no. Tig, it's a secret.
08:52Oh, okay.
08:53Okay.
08:53All right, so we are in the middle of a fierce round.
08:57Lulu, it is your turn. Go ahead and pick your star.
08:59I am going to pick the amazing and beautiful Tashina Arnold.
09:06Yep.
09:07That would be me.
09:09That would be me.
09:10I thought it was me.
09:13All right, Tashina, she needs this for the block.
09:16Whew.
09:16As reported on DigitalSpy.com,
09:19what was the most frequently used catchphrase on TV's Friends
09:22with 19 uses over the course of 10 seasons?
09:26Hmm.
09:27If you don't get this, I'm going to be disappointed in you.
09:29Okay, friends, you're talking about that little show
09:31that's the white version of Martin?
09:33Oh!
09:34Oh!
09:35Pow pow!
09:37What do you mean? Oh!
09:39Talk about it.
09:41Okay.
09:44We're on a break.
09:45Okay, Lulu, do you agree or disagree?
09:48I can confidently say, and semi-unfortunately say,
09:52I've never seen an episode of the show.
09:56I'm telling you, it's a black thing.
09:57It's a black thing!
09:58Yeah!
09:59You know, I'm a living single type of girl, so, you know.
10:01See what I'm saying?
10:02Yeah!
10:03So, I can't really answer that with a clear mind,
10:06but I'm going to say I have to agree.
10:08It's actually how you doing.
10:11Oh, no!
10:12So you are incorrect.
10:14Hey, don't hate on her.
10:15She doesn't watch Friends.
10:17But here's the thing.
10:18You can't win it on a steal.
10:20All right, Ross, pick a star.
10:22So I'm going with Tashina for the win.
10:24All right.
10:27Back to back.
10:28All right, Tashina, here you go.
10:30Y'all making me work today.
10:31How much money am I getting again?
10:33Wait, we get paid?
10:36All right, here we go.
10:37Here we go.
10:37Hosting locations in Atlanta, New York, Dallas, and elsewhere,
10:41Slutty Vegan is a restaurant whose trademarked slut dust
10:44is sprinkled on what side order?
10:46Tater .
10:50That kind of makes sense.
10:51I'm just playing, I'm just playing, I'm just playing.
10:53Okay.
10:53I'm going to assume, you know, black people like mac and cheese,
10:57but then I like french fries.
10:58French fries are very...
10:59Okay, french fries?
11:00This is for the square, for the round, for the $1,000.
11:05Do you agree or disagree?
11:06Look, I love french fries.
11:09And sprinkling some slut dust on some french fries?
11:13It doesn't get better than that.
11:14I'm going to agree.
11:15Okay.
11:16Do we do it?
11:17You are correct.
11:19Yes!
11:20Yes!
11:21X gets the square and the round.
11:25You just won $1,000.
11:27It's time for a quick break.
11:29Keep it right there for more Hollywood Squares.
11:31Woo!
11:40Welcome back to Hollywood Squares.
11:42We are moving fast in this game, and now it's on to round two,
11:46where it's worth $2,500.
11:48Hey, Joe Coy, we haven't had a chance to talk to you.
11:50How are you doing, man?
11:51I know, man.
11:52Seattle, come on.
11:53The Seattle connection.
11:54We have a connection, bro.
11:55Pacific Northwest.
11:55Yes!
11:56Tacoma aroma.
11:58Tacoma is like the city right before Seattle.
12:00And if you're driving from Portland to Seattle,
12:02you could be asleep and go, I think we're in Tacoma.
12:06Yeah, it's that bad.
12:07Is it weed?
12:08Because it's near Seattle.
12:09All the weed comes from Seattle.
12:10No, no, no.
12:11That's your dressing room.
12:12Yeah.
12:13That's my show!
12:14Ooh!
12:15The bottom row is kind of crazy.
12:17I hate it.
12:17We are crazy.
12:18I don't want to be on the bottom anymore.
12:20That's what she said.
12:21How I do it on the top.
12:23I'm going to leave that alone.
12:26You're all nuts.
12:28All right, let's get back to the game.
12:31Here is a reminder.
12:32The secret square is still on the board.
12:36I'm still willing to tell you where it is.
12:39Tig, please, please, don't tell us.
12:42Let me know when you want to know.
12:43All right, I'll come holla at you, Tig.
12:45Yep.
12:46Lulu, it is your turn.
12:47Go ahead and pick your star.
12:49I am going to go with Joe Coy.
12:52Joe Coy!
12:56Okay, I'm not even joking when I say this,
12:59but I have, like, a fear with people that can, you know,
13:03tell your future.
13:06All right, so let's stay in the present.
13:08Here we go.
13:08She already knows my answer.
13:11Just put the circle here.
13:12It's done.
13:13All right, Joe, here's your question.
13:15What?
13:16If you go to the store and pick up a box of wet ones,
13:19what are you getting?
13:20What?
13:24Um, here's the thing.
13:25People that buy wet ones, it's because they don't like
13:28wiping with dry ones.
13:31All right, so what's your answer?
13:33Wipes.
13:34Right?
13:34He's saying wipes.
13:36So do you agree or disagree?
13:40Um, I'm going to say I, I agree.
13:44And you are correct.
13:47Circle gets the square.
13:50Ross, it's on you.
13:52Where are you going next?
13:53Strategy-wise, this is a mess, but I do want to say
13:56I'm looking for that secret square right now,
13:58and I'm hoping it's you, Beth.
13:59I'm going with Beth.
14:01Oh!
14:03He's banging!
14:04He's missing!
14:07Way to call your shots!
14:10You get this question right,
14:12and you'll be going to Antigua, baby!
14:17Beth, there's a lot riding on this.
14:19I know, no pressure.
14:20Here we go.
14:21The Library of Congress contains about 184 petabytes of digital information.
14:27How many gigabytes equal a petabyte?
14:33She don't know!
14:36Is a petabyte vegan?
14:41Or paleo?
14:44I know this, because I spend a lot of time at the Library of Congress.
14:48Okay, Joe?
14:48Wow.
14:49I know you think I don't, but that's, I do.
14:52Um, I think a billion.
14:56This is huge.
14:58Yeah.
14:58Do you agree or disagree?
15:00I wasn't thrilled with the mispronunciation of the word.
15:04Believe women!
15:11Okay.
15:12All right.
15:12Yeah, Ross!
15:14Okay, agree or disagree?
15:16I disagree.
15:17Okay, Ross.
15:18It's okay.
15:19And you are right.
15:20It's a million.
15:21Oh!
15:22Oh, my God!
15:23Antigua!
15:23Excuse the square!
15:24I'm going to Antigua!
15:25I'm going to Antigua!
15:27The Veranda Antigua Resort and Spa is the perfect relaxing getaway.
15:32This newly reimagined adult-only all-inclusive resort offers two white sand beaches, delectable cuisine, and so much more.
15:43Do it all or do nothing at all.
15:46Looks like a great trip.
15:48It looks like June Diane's already been there in her hot green thong.
15:54I go by myself, I don't bring anyone, and I just walk directly into the ocean, and then I never
15:59stop swimming.
16:00I just...
16:01There you go.
16:03It's the three C's.
16:05Chilling, chairs, and cheeks.
16:06That's what we like on vacation.
16:08All right, Lulu, go ahead and pick a star.
16:12It's on you.
16:12I am going to pick the beautiful Drew Barrymore.
16:17Drew Barrymore!
16:20All right, Drew, you ready?
16:21Kristen?
16:22Yeah.
16:23I'm nervous again.
16:24Just, like, run your hands through your hair one more time.
16:29You know what?
16:30That is your move, Drew.
16:32That's your move.
16:33I know.
16:33I have somehow in Hollywood squares resorted back to the 90s, and I'm like, um, yeah.
16:41Here we go.
16:42You ready for this?
16:44Before her Barbie did battle with Oppenheimer at the box office, director Greta Gerwig parried her way to being nationally
16:51ranked
16:52in what sport?
16:54I...
16:54I'm going to guess fencing.
16:58Lulu, do you agree or disagree?
17:00I'm gonna...
17:02I'm gonna have to agree.
17:05And you are correct.
17:06Yes!
17:07Oh, thank God!
17:08Yes!
17:08Circle gets the square.
17:13Oh!
17:14What?
17:14What's that?
17:15So that sound means that time is up.
17:18Oh, gosh.
17:19We are going to give you $500 for each square that you have.
17:23Lulu, you have $1,000 because you have two squares.
17:28Ross, congratulations.
17:30That puts you at $1,500.
17:32Yes!
17:32Yes!
17:34Which means when we come back, Ross is going to be playing for $25,000.
17:41We've got more Hollywood squares coming right up.
17:44Woo!
17:45Woo!
17:46Woo!
17:46Woo!
17:49Woo!
17:55Welcome back to Hollywood squares.
17:56Ross has racked up a cool $1,500 in the secret square.
18:01That's a trip to Antigua.
18:04Now it's time to play the bonus round, where you have a chance to win an additional $25,000.
18:12So, Ross, any idea what you would do with all of that bread?
18:16My dad's 73 years old.
18:18Okay.
18:18And he's still kite surfing.
18:20So I'm going to take him on a kite surfing trip to Maui.
18:22Oh, that's great!
18:24That's wonderful!
18:24A father and son trip.
18:26All right.
18:26Here is how the bonus round works.
18:28We're going to give you 60 seconds.
18:30I'll read you a statement about each star.
18:32All you have to do is agree or disagree.
18:35For every one that you get correct, you will earn that square.
18:37Now, every star up there has an envelope, but only one of them is holding a card worth $25,000.
18:46Whoa!
18:48All right.
18:49Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.
18:51Are you ready?
18:53Yes.
18:55Here we go.
18:57Mario Cantone hosted a kids' show called Steam Pipe Alley.
19:01Disagree.
19:02Incorrect.
19:03Kristen Shaw hosts a podcast called Shaw's To The Wall.
19:06Agree.
19:07Incorrect.
19:08Pete Holmes says Snoop Dogg's nickname for him is Old Whitey Then.
19:12Agree.
19:13Correct.
19:15June Diane Rayfield is the niece of Sally Jessie Raphael.
19:19Agree.
19:20Incorrect.
19:21Drew Barrymore has a fear of goat cheese.
19:24Disagree.
19:25Incorrect.
19:26Tig Notaro hosted a talk show where she didn't recognize her celebrity guests.
19:30Agree.
19:31Correct.
19:32As a teenager, Tashina Arnold appeared on Sesame Street.
19:34Agree.
19:35Correct.
19:36Beth Behrs had her first kiss on a Jumbotron kiss cam.
19:40I like to think that's true.
19:42Agree.
19:42Incorrect.
19:43Joe Coy appeared in the Sex and the City movies.
19:46Agree.
19:47Incorrect.
19:48It's okay.
19:49It's okay.
19:50He got three.
19:51It's okay.
19:52Ross, I was with you on every game.
19:55Good guess.
19:55Thank you.
19:55I was like, yes, yes, yes.
19:58So it hurt me too.
19:59Now let's see if one of those correct squares has the $25,000.
20:06Stars, show us the money.
20:15Pulling out.
20:16Pulling out.
20:17Oh.
20:19I'm sorry you did not win the $25,000.
20:22That's all good.
20:23But you are still going home with your earlier winnings of $1,500.
20:27End that trip to Antigua.
20:29Come on now.
20:30Let's see who had the winning envelope.
20:32Oh, my God.
20:33June.
20:33It was Drew.
20:35Oh.
20:37Thank you to all of our stars.
20:38And, of course, our center square, Drew Barrymore.
20:41I love you, Nate.
20:43I'm your host, Nate Perlison.
20:45Join us next time on Hollywood Squares.
20:50Whoo!
20:52That was fun.
21:16What was the game
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