Jessi Draper, Blackmail, Orgies, Escorts PART 2

Call Her Daddy

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Transcript

00:01you just said and i know there's so much we've seen also on television but i also know there's

00:07a lot that we haven't seen because there's so many cast members and there's only so much of

00:10your life that can be shown so i do kind of want to go back and talk about your relationship

00:16because

00:17i want to eventually get to how you confronted him that you said you wanted a divorce what his

00:22reaction was we're going to get into all that but first let's just unpack like when you look back

00:26at the early days with jordan what was your relationship like in the very beginning days

00:31it was good we met very quickly um i blame our dynamic on that honestly because i had

00:37been married before so this is my second divorce um and i separated so to put it into context i

00:44separated from my first husband in september and i got married in march so it was really quick like i

00:49i think i leaned on him for emotional support he was going through a breakup so was i and we

00:56just

00:56that i had been treated really badly in my first marriage as well which now looking back i'm like

01:01this is a pattern like i get into these situations because i'm self-conscious and i have issues but um

01:05he was there for me so i think i just dove right in the first year was fine though so

01:10would you say

01:11that first year you weren't arguing that much no yeah it was pretty good um but i actually think

01:15that looking back like he's always been pretty controlling and i think at the time i was just like

01:20happy to be out of my last marriage we had just had our son like i was just kind of

01:23in a bubble

01:24and then i started to notice patterns what would typically set off an argument between the two of

01:30you his control i felt controlled in every aspect of my life and he used to try to say oh

01:35i can't

01:35control you you're not able to be controlled i try and i can't because i'm independent in those early

01:40days what do you look back and be like oh that was fully controlled and maybe i didn't see it

01:44at the

01:44time oh my god i mean it's just he tries to control every aspect of my life my business how

01:49i should

01:49run my business he would mom shame me and like tell me how to parent but then not do it

01:53himself

01:54like if i left the fridge door open you know like that beep that happens he i'd get yelled at

01:58so to

01:59this day when i hear like a beep of the fridge i'm like like my body goes into fight or

02:02flight like

02:03it's just little things like that to add up but also like i like if i wanted to go to

02:07dinner with

02:07friends like it was like well when are you gonna be home what are you doing where are you like

02:11just

02:11constant and was there any patterns when the arguments would start like what do you look back on i think

02:17that's why our relationship got to a pretty bad place is because i'm pretty like vocal and

02:21independent so for the first year or two i was just like okay and i think jordan wants someone

02:25submissive so i was kind of like that in the beginning and then it started to get to this

02:29place where i'm like no and i would fight back and so then it was just like really bad because

02:34i'm fighting back and that makes it worse for him and so we're just like going at it are there

02:37any things that he would like verbally criticize you for everything everything i remember being in

02:44therapy before we were like in the public eye and being like i need you to criticize me less it's

02:49like 90 criticism and 10 compliments anything i did like how i ran my business how i parented

02:55um my time management how i cleaned the house like every little thing even like how i would

03:01like dress and like you know things like that like what would he say about how you dress like that

03:05skirt's a little short are you gonna wear that like you know like just stuff like that um so it

03:09just

03:10felt like i was constantly being dumped on i will say there was um right before we separated last

03:15year before like after the marciano stuff he had told me he wanted me to start doing pilates every

03:20single day like he told me that and then he said i think i believe in traditional gender roles and

03:25i

03:25want to be more in my masculine and i want you to be more in your feminine and i was

03:28like so like

03:29just controlling areas like that as well and i was like do you know who you're married to

03:33that is like so fucking backwards and also like i'm also just like how how crazy for him to also

03:43like physically expect you to yeah do pilates every single day be the breadwinner take care of the

03:49children take care of him like there's such an unrealistic expectation when he's not even

03:55raising himself to any capacity of that standard and to be fair also he doesn't work and we had a

04:01full-time nanny so like he wasn't even helping with the kids until nighttime was there anything

04:06that he expected to get approval over in your relationship from you oh yeah i feel like everything

04:14like it felt like i couldn't make a move without talking to jordan about it you know like i had

04:19to

04:19get his advice his opinion like but the thing is i never wanted to confide in him either because he's

04:24he's not someone that is like yes like let me help you feel better and like give you advice in

04:28a

04:28logical way it's always like putting me down while he's giving me advice and like playing devil's

04:32advocate but telling me what i did wrong and how would he justify that to you or try to justify

04:36it

04:37he's like i just know things like i'm really like i i i'm smart in these areas like you should

04:41listen

04:41to me like look at all the mistakes you've made look all the friends you've lost you need to listen

04:45to me so yeah and now that i'm saying these out loud i'm like this is weird no no it's

04:50not it's first

04:51of all do not feel weird or shame or embarrassed like i think so many women relate to this it's

04:56more

04:56i'm cringing at him because of like the self-righteousness that these men have over women

05:02when again it's like you're home you're the breadwinner you're the one that's working you're

05:08the one that was on mom talk we will get to dad talk don't worry um can you explain though

05:14like

05:15what did a conflict like actually look like between the two of you you're in the house you're

05:20going through this dynamic like what was that like the last five years we have not we've fought

05:26every single day every single day like imagine being in that with your partner who you're supposed

05:30to like trust the most um i would say the worst it got and actually why i separated from him

05:35last

05:35year is because this was the pilates um conversation uh he it got to a point where he was blackmailing

05:41me

05:41with marciano text and he had them on a draft on his phone on tiktok and anytime he was mad

05:45at me he's

05:46like i'm gonna post them i'm gonna ruin your life so we were fighting over this pilates stuff and he

05:50was like i'm gonna i'm gonna post the tiktoks and so i went to go grab his phone i was

05:54like jordan no

05:54like at the point at this point no one knew about what i had done and i was like you're

05:58gonna ruin

05:58my life like and my business too like i i employ 50 people like this could ruin everything um and

06:05he

06:05goes so he's like okay and i'm freaking out so i'm like trying to get his phone i'm like kind

06:08of

06:08chasing him trying to get it he pulls out his phone starts recording me and he's like what are you

06:12gonna do what are you gonna do are you gonna be like taylor should i call the cops and i

06:16was like

06:16whoa because he's friends with dakota so he's like hearing things like that obviously and so he's

06:20baiting me and he's trying to be like oh oh what are you doing and that was the moment where

06:24for me i

06:25was like what am i doing i am chasing around my husband trying to get his phone so he doesn't

06:29blackmail me this is not healthy and i literally left him the next day i was like this can't happen

06:33anymore i mean you're like a complete prisoner in your own home where you're like from what i understand

06:37and he decided to stay with you after that information there was not even a second where

06:42he like didn't so yeah and then he continues to use this information as blackmail to further

06:49control you in the relationship yes knowing that this cycle is going to continue because you're

06:54going to feel like shit because you do feel guilty about what you did yeah also now having the

06:58information that you did know about the escorts that he completely gaslit you into believing didn't

07:02exist when now we know that actually was the case yeah and he was the first person to step outside

07:07of

07:07the marriage yep and then you i'm not saying what you did was okay but you kissed this man twice

07:14you do not sleep with him and this man is then blackmailing you into just fearing for your career

07:21and your reputation that's horrible it is and like um i should have done what i did i regret it

07:29so much

07:30i just want to make that so clear like for my kids to like have to hear about that one

07:33day

07:33i want to take full responsibility like of course but i will say that like having your partner

07:39blackmail you in that way it was something i can i could never get over even after we got back

07:43together and went through therapy like the person that you love the most and should care about you

07:48the most even though you hurt them should never put you in a situation where you feel like inside

07:53you never like you're walking on eggshells and you never know if your life's about to be ruined

07:56and they have that power over you so that was honestly like something that really ruined us

08:00and yeah it was it was traumatizing it's traumatizing and it's really sick because it's like he's getting

08:07off yeah on enjoying watching you have to be beholden to him the control completely when you

08:13look back at from beginning days to then obviously now you can see like the clear delineation between

08:18like whether it was like oh this is not the best relationship to like this is emotional abuse yeah

08:24did it feel in the beginning when those really big fights started like okay maybe this is just like

08:30normal relationship struggles or from the beginning did you start to immediately be like this is

08:34unhealthy how do i get out so my first marriage was pretty emotionally abusive like worse than this

08:40one and i again got married so quickly that i didn't have time to heal from that so i think

08:45i

08:45attracted the same type of person without like realizing and i think in my head i was justifying it

08:50because i'm like no jordan saved me from my other marriage like he's my savior like that's how i saw

08:55him like he saved me from this dynamic so there's no way he's doing this to me and then over

09:00time like

09:00same patterns of what i saw before in my past relationship like arised and i was like oh um but

09:06i had never said out loud to anyone my friends and families my friends and family were aware they knew

09:11that he didn't treat me well no one liked him they would bring it up to me but i would

09:14just kind of be

09:14like that's jordan um but then in season four you see my energy healer um she actually i was doing

09:21a

09:21session with her and this was the same night of that pilates fight actually and she i sat down and

09:26she goes are you safe and i was like what do you mean she goes i just have a feeling

09:29i need to ask you

09:30and um i just i told her everything and it was the first time i said it out loud and

09:35that was like

09:36the moment also that i was like i have to leave him and that's why we separated last year because

09:39i'm

09:39like as i'm saying out loud she goes jesse this is emotional abuse and i never like it didn't click

09:44to me until in that moment how did it change for you after you said it out loud um it

09:51was like a

09:51weight had fallen off where i was like and it was almost like something clicked and i was like seeing

09:56it clearly for the first time and i was like oh like i just kind of like was like that's

10:00jordan's

10:00personality like this marriage is hard you know like which it is but that's how i justified it but

10:05when she literally i had someone saying this is emotional abuse and then i started opening up to

10:09my friends and family and they were like jesse this isn't normal it felt like the glass had

10:13shattered well and just to also validate any woman who is going through this it's like

10:20so many people can be like oh my god is there a pattern like you went through this in your

10:24first

10:24marriage since the second it's like of course there's a pattern because it's so hard to break

10:29out of it's familiar it's something that you get used to it's like you've been beaten down and

10:33you're you're sitting there and your self-worth is depleted and you're not feeling good about

10:37yourself so then you find someone like a jordan who like emotional abuse does not just start day

10:43one no it's like it is this very very um crazy like confusing masked thing that you can't it's

10:54not tangible you can't see it and yeah and so it's psychological and when it's so embedded

10:59psychologically there is also something within you that is willing to be like but maybe i am not

11:05worthy and this is maybe what i am going through and so like maybe i deserve this or maybe this

11:10is

11:10normal because if you've only lived seeing that and like i don't know much about your upbringing but

11:15like did you have like a good representation of you know love in your life yeah i have the best

11:22family okay so that's what's crazy is like my parents my sisters like best family in the world

11:27which by the way my sisters love you and like they're so excited i'm here um but no i have

11:31the

11:31best family i think it was like childhood wounds of like not feeling good enough with other friends

11:36and you know things like that and then i got into things where i didn't feel good enough already and

11:40then i got into that and it was like 10 times worse and you're right it's familiar so i looked

11:45for the

11:45same person subconsciously because it's what i was used to and that quote is so like old but it's so

11:50true of like you um accept the love you think you deserve and that's what happened to me i think

11:54it was

11:54season three i remember just feeling so bad for you and your family when your sisters were sitting

12:02on the ground your mom was there and you were like i could tell my mom wasn't even shocked and

12:07she like

12:07was like hoping we would really just end it was when you guys were about to go into the 90

12:10day break

12:11and your sister was like you haven't been jesse for so long and it was like this outcry to you

12:19but

12:20also you could tell she was so aware like she couldn't get to you but she wanted you to know

12:25that like she still remembered who you were without this abuse and like she knew you were going to come

12:29back to yourself one day and it takes you being it like no one can get you out of it

12:34but yourself

12:35right yeah i'm so glad you brought that up because i do feel like i've been a shell of myself

12:38in this

12:39relationship and i used to tell that to jordan he's like like that's not true like you have every

12:43right to make your own life and i'm like your partner affects you so much like they can

12:49influence every single thing about your life your happiness and i did lose myself and the people

12:53closest to me saw that yeah can you um talk a little bit about what kind of romantic connection

13:01that you and jordan were able to maintain with each other while having this emotionally abusive

13:07relationship so our sex life was like pretty good for a while because again i hadn't really realized

13:12what was going on i was just kind of hiding it but i will say since the separation and getting

13:17back

13:17together my body has told me i want women in this situation to know that like your body will tell

13:23you um i like anytime he tried to have sex with me i would clam up i would have panic

13:28attacks after

13:28i would cry after i didn't want him to touch me like even if he was just like passing me

13:32like in

13:32the house and like grabbed my arm or whatever i was like don't touch me and i would say that

13:36to him

13:36and he's like what's wrong with you but your body knows so i just want like anyone in the situation

13:42men or women like the everyone goes through it at some point not everyone but people have gone

13:45through it listen your body knows like that book your body keeps the score of course my body was

13:50trying to tell me for like a whole year right like we're not safe yeah of course you can't relax

13:55and

13:55enjoy yourself yep in an intimate setting with someone that you don't feel safe with yeah i also

14:00think there was such a highlight when we would watch the seasons on the success of your business and mom

14:07talk jordan did end up quitting his job so that he could help with the kids and so he could

14:13film more

14:14initially were you guys aligned on that decision for him to quit his job yes because at the time

14:18he quit we had just had our daughter so she was a newborn we had our toddler as well and

14:23he was

14:23traveling for work so he was in texas california like all over the place and i was like i can't

14:28run

14:28a business start to film this show and raise two kids so i did initiate that i was like i

14:32need you to

14:33like but i did say i need you to find something here i thought he was still gonna work um

14:37he just took

14:37that as i'm gonna quit and we were i was making good money so like he didn't need to work

14:41but looking back i'm like i should have like had him help out with the kids more though like

14:45there was he got to golf all day you know how do you think becoming the sole provider

14:53of the family impacted your relationship long term i think that for me in the future like i am totally

15:00fine being that person i'll probably always make the most money but i do want a guy that has like

15:04passions and like something of his own it doesn't matter how much money he makes but i will say with

15:09jordan since he believes in like the traditional gender roles i think he really loved the lifestyle

15:13i provided but he had a really hard time being like i'm not the man i'm not the provider which

15:17is such a mormon like toxic way of thinking all the men like look at the men in our group

15:22like a lot

15:22of them have had those issues so i think he was very like um intimidated by it but he also

15:28liked

15:28having the money so right it's like his ego once the door opened and it was public couldn't take it

15:33but behind the scenes he's like i love this i'm golfing exactly he has it so many someone checks him

15:37he's like embarrassed and can't take it yes did he ever start to make any comments to you negatively

15:43about how being a stay-at-home dad made him feel oh he just told me from the beginning he

15:48said i

15:48believe in gender roles and not from the beginning but like when he quit his job sorry um he goes

15:54i'm

15:54just you know i'm not meant to be that role and he would mom shame me a lot like the

15:57kids need their

15:58mom you're gone a lot and so i can't fill that role like i'm the dad and i'm not meant

16:02to be a

16:02stay-at-home dad i don't want to do that so it was hard for me because i'm like i

16:06want a partner that if

16:06i do have to work and travel for that job i can trust that like the dad wants to be

16:11with the kids

16:12like this is a partnership you're not a babysitter you chose to have these children right it's not

16:15well it's also just so unfair it's like he's getting to enjoy all the spoils of your hard work

16:21but then he's also like and you have to do all the stuff that i'm also not really doing that

16:25i should

16:25be doing yeah i gotta go golf yes i got a tea time at 8 a.m babe and you're

16:29like do you know how many

16:29times i've heard that sentence and you're like there's no fucking way yeah there's no way it's so bad

16:36eventually jordan did i don't even want to say return to work kind of through dad talk yes

16:43what was your initial reaction to that so at first the dads got together to like make funny videos to

16:49make fun of us so we were like this is hilarious i don't think we ever thought it was gonna

16:53turn

16:54into what they tried to make it um as time went on i was like okay this is like cringy

16:58like i don't

16:59like this and it became a thing with me and jordan where it was like competitive like we were

17:03competing like you got this opportunity you got this many followers you got this many views look

17:08what i got like he he became very competitive with it and i was like this is gross like men

17:12should not

17:13be acting this way in a relationship where it's like you're threatened by like my success that pays

17:17our bills so it turned into a really hostile thing for us did you talk about this with the other

17:22women

17:23like did they feel this also like i'm cringing from dad talk oh all of us yes like we all

17:28made fun of

17:28it we're like what is happening and it's hard because everyone the audience is always like

17:32less dad talk and we're like we agree we agree but also they're in our lives and this is about

17:36our lives so it's really hard to like not have them around but now for me it'll be easier no

17:41that's a

17:41good point i i remember he said dad talk doesn't need to be in mom talks shadows but first of

17:45all

17:45there wouldn't be a dad talk if there wasn't mom talk and everything that you guys have built

17:49did you feel like he was riding on your coattails 1000 i mean any brand deal that he got was

17:56because

17:56of me we had to do them together he may maybe has gotten one or two on his own but

18:00like we did

18:01one with cafe rio we had to do it together you know so everything was tied to me and so

18:05and even

18:05like he's on cameo and he'll try to be like come say hi in this cameo you know so it's

18:09like you're

18:09getting used and you're like if it really is your own thing then do it as your own thing don't

18:13have

18:13to involve me because then it should just be it's then it's again my money yeah exactly

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21:29affair

21:29i think that obviously now even just sitting here like i'm trying to rack my brain because i obviously

21:35didn't know that the escorts came before marciano so i'm sure everyone's watching this and we're all

21:40like the meme of the woman like doing the math i'm like hold on like it really changes so much

21:47because

21:47i'm now i'm sure people are going to go back and and clip things of like the way he acted

21:53and how he

21:54was so upset with you and the betrayal which was so fair but now i'm like oh my god he

22:00was such a liar

22:01like he was the he what like yeah um when you look back you said that that moment was essentially

22:08a cry

22:09for help when you stepped outside of the marriage what did you mean by that so i felt so trapped

22:15in

22:15that marriage you know like i couldn't do anything right i was so beaten down emotionally and i was just

22:21so unhappy deeply unhappy in what i was in but i felt trapped like not only with like my money

22:25and

22:26my business like you saw in season four but also just he made me feel like i couldn't leave and

22:30so

22:30and for my kids too so i was just really really upset and i met marciano and it was the

22:35first person

22:36who was like nice to me and told me i was cool and pretty and fun and like that i

22:41was worth something

22:42and i just remember being like oh like this is how a man should talk to you and not that

22:46it's okay

22:47what i did by any means but i do feel like i was like i'm gonna i remember thinking like

22:53if i do this

22:54tonight just kissing him by the way it will give me a reason to be done like it'll give jordan

22:59a

22:59reason to leave me like i can be free and so in a way it was like you were looking

23:05for an out you

23:06were almost like kind of trying to self-sabotage yes even if it was me that like did the bad

23:10thing i

23:10was like maybe this could end it and when then you guys went on that 90 day break and you

23:16did

23:16decide to stay together what was fueling you to not just walk away i was so scared and that's how

23:23i felt the last year to be honest but i was scared of being alone i was scared of hurting

23:26him i was

23:27scared of the unknown and the kids like i've been divorced before and it sucked and this time i have

23:32kids so i'm like i don't want to go through that and put my family through it with the business

23:36and

23:36the prenup and all that there was just so much weighing on me with that um so i was just

23:40scared

23:40i was really really scared

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