Alex Warren- The Grammys, Hype House & Homelessness

Call Her Daddy

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Transcript

00:00:02what is up daddy gang it is your founding father alex cooper with call her daddy

00:00:11alex warren welcome to call her daddy thank you you have had i was gonna say you've had the

00:00:17craziest year but then i feel like it all started really in covid for you yeah your life has just

00:00:24been upwards since then it was hype house to now music and you've just blown up into this superstar

00:00:30and you have this fandom heck yeah you're like yes keep going keep going i sometimes get extra

00:00:35spread with my in and out too so you're so high maintenance thank you um does it feel real it

00:00:42does

00:00:42feel real now for a lot for this last year has felt like a dream and then i actually got

00:00:47a second to

00:00:47like look back at it and and it does feel like i guess it's a little shocking but i guess

00:00:52it feels

00:00:52real now i don't want to be in suffering be like oh no no i get it it's like you

00:00:57can only you can

00:01:00only fathom as much as you can because you're also still living it and you're also still growing

00:01:04obviously as an artist and as a person but it is really cool to see your success um i also

00:01:10realize

00:01:10i'm welcoming you back to la yes because you used to live here then you moved to nashville

00:01:15yeah what inspired that move i technically live out i live in tennessee not nashville i think the city

00:01:22i i don't like major cities anymore you're done i just my wife want her dream was to have horses

00:01:28and that was one of the things where i i'm from san diego and i love surfing everything so i

00:01:33i have a

00:01:33place here that i surf and skateboard and get away after tours and stuff but um i wanted my wife

00:01:38to

00:01:38have that farm life that she wanted and it was also it's also nice because i live so far away

00:01:42that

00:01:42no one knows where i live okay but to go from a san diego surfing kid to being kind of

00:01:49in the middle

00:01:49of nowhere what has been like the biggest culture shock for you it's so funny there isn't really a

00:01:55culture shock san diego the only thing is you're not by an ocean like san diego especially everyone's

00:01:59nice you walk around and everyone's greeting you when i lived here i went and introduced myself to

00:02:03the neighbors and they were like why the are you introducing yourself who cares get away from yeah

00:02:07like everyone's you know this it's like these houses are next to each other and i love i grew up

00:02:11in

00:02:12like the cul-de-sac vibe of everyone knew each other and said hi on walks and i try to

00:02:16wave at

00:02:16everyone when they're on walks and they just ignore me here that's actually such a good point i grew up

00:02:21on a cul-de-sac too and i thought that was norm then you get to la and everyone's like

00:02:24don't bring

00:02:25me cookies don't welcome me oh my god like fuck you right my wife made my wife made a sourdough

00:02:31for

00:02:31like everyone in our cul-de-sac and it was crazy where like we left it on our doorstep people

00:02:35in la

00:02:36and we would go back the next day it was still there and here uh or in nashville they'll they'll

00:02:41get

00:02:41they'll take it and they'll receive it and then they'll make you another one it's really cool are you

00:02:45leaning in like are you wearing cowboy boots i've worn boots for a little bit on tour but that's

00:02:49more of like a i stole that from benson boone love that he i still don't look like him i'm

00:02:54still trying

00:02:54that part um but no i i right now i've just been uh i've just fully embraced that i'm i

00:03:00don't look

00:03:01like i belong there and it's been nice well i'm so happy for you guys and i'm so happy for

00:03:07you you

00:03:07have new music yeah you have an arena tour coming up you were recently nominated for your first

00:03:14grammy thanks what has been the most exciting of all of those wow uh i think the grammys was the

00:03:24most exciting i the growing up i was such a i was not a good singer growing up and especially

00:03:30that i did

00:03:31choir and court like i think it was called chorus and and the teacher was like you know you should

00:03:34probably try something else and i would always do talent shows and no one cared and i all the friends

00:03:39all these kids would make fun of me and so i think the grammys being nominated for a grammy was

00:03:43like

00:03:43oh cool like i'm supposed to be doing this can you take me to that moment where you got the

00:03:49phone call

00:03:49and you found out though that you were nominated like where were you what were you wearing what you

00:03:54were you doing i totally did not like and i i mean this when i say this i did not

00:03:59think i was

00:03:59getting nominated i think especially i've had a lot of proof in this industry coming from social media

00:04:03so for that i was like oh like they're gonna they're gonna show me that i don't belong and

00:04:08i'm gonna get really sad um my friends they all flew out and surprised me at my house and were

00:04:15like

00:04:15we're gonna watch it together and i was like are you crazy this is the worst and so i left

00:04:20and then

00:04:20i came back right in time um thankfully and i sat down and they were all filming and when they

00:04:26said

00:04:27my name i was the second to last person and i just remember breaking down and crying there's a video

00:04:31of

00:04:32it and i just remember breaking down crying with my wife and it was uh it was really cool and

00:04:37then i

00:04:37went and ate sushi okay so you get to the grammys yeah who were you the most starstruck by because

00:04:44you see it on tv growing up and then you get in those rooms and you're like oh it's real

00:04:49like

00:04:49everyone's just rubbing shoulders with everyone and i'm here yeah it's a little bit intimidating it is i

00:04:55i think there's these i don't know wow uh i was i met billy eilish which was really really cool

00:05:02she's

00:05:02so sweet um i think i go into every room thinking everyone hates me no i don't know i went

00:05:10into this

00:05:10room and i like i i'm i'm they were very sweet at chapel rome came up to me i had

00:05:16a malfunction

00:05:17during the show and she came up to me and she was she was like dude like if anyone understands

00:05:23it's

00:05:23the people in this room and you sounded amazing i totally we'll get into it yes i i was i

00:05:29was down

00:05:30and i think she could tell and she came up to my table and was the sweetest ever and i

00:05:34was like i

00:05:34love you you saying that you walk into a room and you think everyone hates you is that you think

00:05:39in

00:05:39this industry or in life in life i it's funny it's it's truly i i don't if i had a

00:05:47therapist

00:05:48they'd probably diagnose me with so many different things i i don't know i i was a heavily bullied

00:05:53kid like i got kicked out of parties all the time and parties yeah i would walk into a party

00:05:58because

00:05:59my friends would be invited and i would walk in and everyone would be like calling me a lot of

00:06:03words

00:06:03that you can't repeat today and i think it's just because i did social media and i sang like i

00:06:07was i would

00:06:08sing in bathrooms and in at my house and i would just post them on the internet and i wanted

00:06:14to do

00:06:15this so badly and i think you're really lame until you make it in this type of stuff and so

00:06:20like

00:06:21everyone would just i was not a cool kid and so as this stuff started happening you know ordinary i

00:06:26would look for the hate comments i'd go on twitter and i'd be like okay well everything's going really

00:06:30well in my life what could go wrong and i looked at my name on twitter and everyone's calling me

00:06:35these different things and i was like so it is true i'm still this you know and so i yeah

00:06:40it was

00:06:41it was just now i carried on i think every celebrity has seen my tiktoks and thinks i'm just some

00:06:46cringy

00:06:46uh one hit wonder and yeah alex it's it's fine no but it is like i guess what is so

00:06:54crazy is how we

00:06:55all internalize obviously the focus on ourselves of like what we and and to your credit like getting

00:07:02kicked out of parties like being the person that people were always like get him out of here we

00:07:06don't want him here that's gonna stick with you but then it also is like you've evolved and you've

00:07:11grown as a person right and sometimes too we still have self-beliefs about ourselves that don't

00:07:17never existed right and a lot of people when you're walking into these rooms have no idea about your tiktoks

00:07:23but we're our own more sentiment and so you're walking into these rooms and you're like oh my god they

00:07:27must know when i was doing the renegade and it's like yeah one no one knew oh god i get

00:07:31no chills

00:07:32thinking about that do you still remember how to do the renegade i never learned it that was the

00:07:36thing i never i was a chubby little i don't even know what i was i was behind the camera

00:07:41all the time

00:07:41you know like that was like for me i would film my wife and i thought my i i've still

00:07:46to this day

00:07:46think my wife's one of the funniest people ever and she's that was my content i was like well i

00:07:50want

00:07:50to show everyone who this woman is and it started doing really well and that's why when i started

00:07:54doing music i was terrified because i was like they didn't sign up for this they didn't sign up

00:07:57for me so all of a sudden i'm like hey i make music about my dead parents and people liked

00:08:03it and i was

00:08:04shocked and i was like wait people finally like me something has to be wrong and that's when i went

00:08:09to

00:08:09twitter i love how instead of like a lot of people in your position i feel like would be like

00:08:13oh my god

00:08:14people finally like me i'm gonna hold on to this for dear life this is the best feeling in the

00:08:18world

00:08:18you're like what's wrong who's pranking me no i don't believe it literally um can we go back to

00:08:24the grammys though because you obviously mentioned chapel's advice and obviously this was huge um

00:08:31people were so excited for you to perform at the grammys and then it broke our hearts when we saw

00:08:36you essentially have these technical difficulties during your performance now that you've had some

00:08:42time away from that moment which was such a huge moment for you in your career how did you feel

00:08:48about that night can you just kind of take me through it call her daddy is brought to you by

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00:10:07clorox wipes now that you've had some time away from that moment which was such a huge moment for you

00:10:14in your career how did you feel about that night can you just kind of take me through it i've

00:10:18never

00:10:19talked about this it it was horrifying um we had rehearsed it all week all week we rehearsed and it

00:10:25was perfect it went well and i to this day i don't know exactly what happened right when i so

00:10:33the way

00:10:33it works is the medley's happening so in my ears i can hear whoever was singing before me right

00:10:39something happened and everything cut out and they're like 30 seconds and i said i can't hear

00:10:44anything i can't hear myself and the guy's like it's live tv 25 seconds and i go guys something's wrong

00:10:50something gets blasted into left ear and right ear i hear nothing and i go guys i can't hear and

00:10:56so

00:10:56they start someone was filming this backstage like there's definitely a video that exists

00:10:59they're messing with my pack messing with my ears they're like it's your ears it's your ears it's your

00:11:04pack it's your pack 15 seconds 10 seconds and in my head i immediately go i look up in the

00:11:10sky and i go

00:11:11this is meant to happen and i just go let's do it and so they can't fix it they blast

00:11:17it to see if

00:11:18anything is happening maybe it's just low i start singing and all i'm hearing is what's from the

00:11:24other room like a crowd mic is on or something and so once i start getting into the hallway there's

00:11:29this hallway and uh in the performance i get the left ear blasting again and so it's just the left

00:11:35ear right ear is gone and in the left ear it's uh for anyone who understands audio it's it's mono

00:11:40it's

00:11:40not stereo so it's blasting and it's not good quality there's no mix to it so all i'm hearing is

00:11:45my

00:11:45voice super loud i get down to the steps and then immediately i start hearing echoing on the right

00:11:52ear and so i take it out and then that made it worse stupidly and so once i get onto

00:11:57stage i hear

00:11:58and my ear gets a click again and i put it right back in and it's fixed so i think

00:12:03it was an rf issue

00:12:04when we rehearsed it they weren't expecting 20 000 phones to be in and everyone was filming

00:12:09and so the rf cut it out and then once i got to the stage because there's two fins i

00:12:13would assume

00:12:13once we got to the stage i got it back when this is happening in that very moment because i

00:12:19didn't

00:12:19realize you had a little bit of panic behind the scenes that we didn't see when you're walking down

00:12:25those steps did you at all think like can we stop should i just stop this

00:12:33wow i i to be honest during that part i'm supposed to be engaging with the audience by the way

00:12:39so

00:12:39when i'm walking down i'm supposed to be like hey guys i'm at the grammys this is cool and instead

00:12:44you will see pure horror in my eyes i true truthfully was just trying to find the count

00:12:50and so i did not think should we stop or anything because i there was part of me was like

00:12:55okay i can't

00:12:56hear myself and then just stop but imagine what would have happened there because the time is

00:13:00slotted it's live so it went through my brain as i left the tunnel should i stop but then i

00:13:06thought

00:13:06then this would be the most awkward social moment in the world where it's just a camera on me

00:13:11standing there crying right you're like all right let's pause and then you're like

00:13:15i just wanted to get over it and once i got over it and once we were at the top

00:13:19come on i'm terrified

00:13:20of heights i'm horrified of heights and that entire time i wasn't thinking about i was in the air i

00:13:25was

00:13:25thinking please get me back on time oh wait why did you agree to do the heights i wanted it

00:13:32to be

00:13:32special okay now i'm realizing it was a bit mega church i don't know i love how you're like so

00:13:39you

00:13:39had this whole vision for this whole thing and then nothing went as planned no okay alex then i can't

00:13:45help but also think like you end the song what is your immediate dominant emotion in that moment once

00:13:53it finishes don't cry on live television so i waited until the camera went off on me because i knew

00:13:58there's a moment where the camera's on me but i was like holding back tears because i looked to my

00:14:02left and right and everyone was like you did so good and everyone's screaming and i was like wow this

00:14:06is like really really emotional i get off stage and i just run up the stairs and there's a little

00:14:12room for changing because keep in mind they're announcing the winner right after this so i have to

00:14:16get to my seat i have three minutes and they're like you have to get to your seat and i'm

00:14:19like do i have

00:14:20to go out there like i like do i have to stay here and they're like just stay as long

00:14:25as you think

00:14:25you can and so they changed me i rushed down i'm wiping my eyes i sit down and immediately it

00:14:33goes

00:14:33into the the nomination for best new artist which i was up for and immediately i'm like i'm so destroyed

00:14:39i'm there's no shot i'm winning this i just messed that up so bad and i'm sitting there and and

00:14:46olivia

00:14:46dean won and i was like oh my god like i mean i was really happy for she deserved it

00:14:50100 but that was

00:14:51once that happened i was like damn i want to go home so did you have time to cry

00:14:56no no no no so i i guarantee there's videos the whole time the whole entire grammys my head was

00:15:02on my wife's shoulder the entire time i did not want to look up i did not want to talk

00:15:07to anybody

00:15:08and like there was just a few moments like again chapel 100 saw that i was like just distraught and

00:15:13she came up to me and it was this sweet like i will never forget how sweet she was because

00:15:16of

00:15:16that and um yeah it was it was uh it was really bad what did your wife say to you

00:15:23when she she's

00:15:24the most supportive person in the world like literally i it sucks because i expect it so much

00:15:29that i'm kind of just like i hear just saying that like i was like my career is over i

00:15:33literally over

00:15:34and over and over again said my career is over when you were sitting in the seats with her

00:15:38muddling it out and i was not entertained the i would watch the grammys camera guys come up to me

00:15:44and then just move away because they didn't want to do it like it was it was i was not

00:15:48not doing well

00:15:50and then when you're sitting also in that seat i can't help but think you are someone who is

00:15:55obviously so heavily on social media your career started on social media what did you think that

00:16:00people were saying online about you before you got to check your phone i deleted everything that night

00:16:05i deleted twitter i was like there's no way i'm going to do that to myself right now i'm fully

00:16:09like

00:16:09that's off my phone um but i was like you know what like this should be i should show people

00:16:14what

00:16:15i went through what it was so i filmed the video and i wanted to be like oh this is

00:16:20exactly what i

00:16:20heard in my ear this is what it was like and i posted it and i threw my phone and

00:16:24i didn't look

00:16:25and the next day i checked it and ever it had 50 60 million views on the internet and everyone

00:16:30was

00:16:30fully supporting you yeah how did you pull yourself out of you know first you're sitting

00:16:35there saying my career is completely over how did you pull yourself out of it levy called me and she

00:16:42she called me and she's like she gave me the the coolest pep talk in the world and i think

00:16:46that was

00:16:46like the right room to even do that because like if anyone gets its musicians levy had called me and

00:16:51was

00:16:51just like i'm so proud of you you don't realize how many people you just helped imagine every kid who

00:16:58goes to a uh or does a uh a talent show or every kid who does a theater show or

00:17:05does a performance

00:17:06and someone this happens to them and they think wow this can happen at the grammys this can happen

00:17:10like you know i think it gives someone um some some motivation and know that it's okay and it's

00:17:16stuff that stuff happens and so she she gave me that pep talk i mean it's a great pep talk

00:17:20because it's

00:17:20also such an indicator of there are things that you cannot control in this world right you prepared for it

00:17:27you rehearsed it there were no problems in rehearsals you have a beautiful voice you were

00:17:32ready to go and then tech failed you and you're like oh i think it sucks because it wasn't my

00:17:38fault

00:17:38like i i can live with the fact that like oh i messed up like i hate the fact that

00:17:43i i didn't you know

00:17:44what i'm saying but i also think for the circumstances that i it took me a lot of like

00:17:49looking at the scenario and watching the video of just like okay i did everything i probably you really

00:17:53did were there any other celebrities other than chapel that came up to you noah kahn noah came

00:17:59up to me and he's no one i have just been friends in passing like we always just run into

00:18:03each other

00:18:04and he lives in and tennessee and so like we just we literally will run into each other like at

00:18:08a

00:18:08supermarket or whatever and he comes up to me and he he's the sweetest sweetest boy i love him so

00:18:14so

00:18:14much he was really kind um billy billy was really really sweet and i'm obsessed with alex wolf and he

00:18:21was

00:18:21really sweet i feel like those are the perfect people that came up to you also why do i feel

00:18:24like

00:18:24noah kahn i'd just be like can you just hug me like he's so cozy i got a hug and

00:18:28he was very cozy

00:18:29okay that beard is very nice perfect so perfectly groomed if you think about it love that so it made

00:18:33you feel better yeah an old i don't know if we should call her a friend or a colleague was

00:18:38also at

00:18:39the grammys with you miss addison ray i think it was so fun to see the internet just freaking out

00:18:46that the fact that these two people who started on tiktok were both at the grammys together yeah i

00:18:51know that you facetimed her when you guys found out you both got the nominations yeah what was that

00:18:56conversation like in kind of that full circle moment like i i was i'm an emotional wreck i guess like

00:19:02i i

00:19:03really am i facetimed everyone and addison was the first to pick up and she she was just like it

00:19:10was

00:19:11the same thing we were on cloud nine i i none of us i think were expecting it and so

00:19:14the fact that it

00:19:15happened was really really cool she of course was in some huge fur coat somewhere on and with snow

00:19:20behind her in the middle of of i think it was november i don't remember or september i was like

00:19:25what is happening and she's like it's foul i was like no i believe you i but it's crazy that

00:19:30like

00:19:31i it's just this whirlwind right like you like you said we're both 19 years old when we met and

00:19:36we're filming these videos i think 18 even were you guys close back then i i wouldn't say so i

00:19:43would

00:19:43say like as close as you can you live with these people right and so but it was weird during

00:19:47hype

00:19:47house it was very much like a hierarchy and especially because i wasn't a good looking um

00:19:55fuck boy um who made thirst traps i was at the bottom of the pool and so not a lot

00:20:01of people even

00:20:01knew i was in the hype house and that was i was fine with that i loved that i wanted

00:20:05to be a musician

00:20:05when we created hype house i even said i don't want to be attached to this in any way i

00:20:10just want to make

00:20:10music and so that was how it was and then things obviously went went on but she she was always

00:20:17just

00:20:17we were always friends and then do you think you guys ended up getting closer as you guys almost left

00:20:22the hype house i think everyone got closer after why do you think it was so everyone told everyone

00:20:31that you were special everyone every day was like you're the next this you're so hot you're going

00:20:36to be this you're more famous than this person or you suck you're not this you're not that and like

00:20:40it was a very weird um place where like you know you had a video do really well that day

00:20:45and so you

00:20:46were awesome and then the next day or two days later maybe you're going through some we were 19 year

00:20:50old kids 20 year old kids like that's we were doing whatever and you know you have personal things

00:20:55my mom died and i was like this is happening here and i think it was just like a weird

00:20:59um thing where

00:21:00it's like okay well that person is gonna start staying over there and we're not gonna invite

00:21:05that person out to dinner because of this and like this person's doing really well right now so

00:21:09and so after i think everyone just was like fuck i need a break right it's almost like you allowed

00:21:13all of the competitive dynamics to kind of dissipate and then you could just look at each other being

00:21:18like wow we have this shared experience and i now have such empathy for all of us right if there

00:21:23is someone who for some reason is watching this and does not know what the hype house is first of

00:21:28all

00:21:28does that make you happy or sad i think it makes me happy okay i think it makes me happy

00:21:35i think the

00:21:35beginning of hype house it would make me sad i think that it was it was clinged on to for

00:21:41so long

00:21:42that it was kind of like what the fuck is this turning into so can you explain to someone who

00:21:47is

00:21:47not familiar what the hype house was it was a group of night like 17 to 21 year olds where

00:21:53all of us

00:21:54and this concept was so foreign was just a bunch of kids started renting a mansion together and keep

00:22:00mind none of us could afford shit so like these houses weren't furnished and that was like the

00:22:05thing so like we would film in these empty mansions that were not furnished and imagine you and all your

00:22:11friends during your college years decided to go rent a frat house that was fully empty but really nice

00:22:16and your job was to film thirst traps and i don't even know you're like that was like you had

00:22:23to

00:22:23make up a job one day you woke up and you go what do i want my job to be

00:22:27today i'm gonna look at my

00:22:28camera and bite my lip and do this and that all of a sudden you could buy lamborghinis that was

00:22:34that

00:22:34was that wait and you guys actually were the ones that were funding the house or were there like

00:22:38random agents and managers that were paying and then taking a percentage depended on the month

00:22:42like it really did like it depended on the month of like what was innovative at that time because

00:22:46there was not a thing like that and so every single month we'd get like like someone would come down

00:22:53and say like hey by the way now you have to film 10 tiktoks per month if you want to

00:22:56live here and

00:22:57then the next month it was hey you got to film four tiktoks and shout out this energy drink and

00:23:01you can

00:23:02live here and it was like very much like oh cool you get to live in this house you get

00:23:05to live rent free

00:23:07and um and then all you have to do is make these videos it was a fucking the best gig

00:23:11ever

00:23:12can you describe your experience living in the hype house in three words jesus i don't want to

00:23:20like make it like it's it was great no it was great it was great um fun traumatic um this

00:23:30is the

00:23:31synopsis of my biography by the way um and rewarding i would not be here without it i love how

00:23:37traumatic

00:23:38just sits like right it's right there and it's a very it's like if you put like you divided it

00:23:42traumatic yeah yeah and that's there what age do you think you guys would be down for a reunion

00:23:47because i feel like you guys like need a little distance wow i don't know if some members would

00:23:53ever be down i think depending on who you are like charlie like i don't think charlie should ever

00:23:59do that i think charlie was such she was so young and like especially cover was so protective of her

00:24:06and i it's really i don't know like that girl's been through a lot a lot everyone saw charlie and

00:24:14especially when she did really well and was just like oh let me go film with her and like i

00:24:17felt

00:24:18like that was such a transactional fucking weird thing and probably not yeah probably not the

00:24:23healthiest maybe one day maybe when you're like 60 we go to the zoo it's our favorite perfect

00:24:27okay we're gonna do quick rapid fire to close out hype house okay cool oh god okay you're like

00:24:33cool then you're like wait traumatic again no let's do it um okay what was the most reckless thing you

00:24:37ever did for a video oh um we were playing hide and go seek tag and i i i um

00:24:44i hid in a helicopter

00:24:47okay was it just casually sitting outside of the hype house on the driveway this is like very

00:24:51indicative of the times the fact that there's just casually a helicopter sitting out in front of

00:24:55okay um what's the most embarrassing thing you ever posted on the internet oh my god i deleted a

00:25:00lot of them uh you did yeah couldn't you monetize that though i don't care i do not care i

00:25:06don't

00:25:06want my kids saying that um wait give me an example i just a lot of the oh we'll get

00:25:12there

00:25:12we'll get there we'll get there um uh wait what is an example what's the most what embarrassing

00:25:18like embarrassing video you posted on the internet uh there's a video that i uh a friend of mine or

00:25:24dixie dixie would dress um she would dress uh in and clothing and then i would i asked to borrow

00:25:31her

00:25:31clothing so i could dress like that and realizing that i did not look good in the thong so i

00:25:36deleted

00:25:36that i probably look great now but just back then i didn't you know yeah it's a bit scarring i

00:25:44i'm just trying i'm not actually i'm not trying to picture it i'm just trying to yeah okay i can

00:25:48sell that later that's good that's good it's in your drafts now it's somewhere there it's okay my

00:25:53wife is it's her wallpaper but it's fine cover we love you who in the hype house at the time

00:25:58was the

00:25:58most annoying the most annoying is there like a shot that i could drink besides answer that question

00:26:04um the most annoying i want to be honest so i'm trying to think i think the most annoying

00:26:12person had to be vinny okay and it's because vinny's so good looking and didn't try does that

00:26:19make sense yeah he's just coming around no but the guy eats burgers like that's the thing like he eats

00:26:24the amount of money that man spent on taco bell alone and then he'd be like yeah i just have

00:26:29a six

00:26:30pack and so you're sitting there looking at these guys and you're like do you know how badly i wish

00:26:35i

00:26:35could have done that are you joking are you kidding you're like i didn't want to put on the thong

00:26:40that's what i'm not kidding every day i would watch what these guys ate trying to replicate it

00:26:45thinking that like i swear i have like an underlying eating disorder after living with these guys all

00:26:50they ate was taco bell every goddamn meal was taco bell like i was diet i was keto i was

00:26:56ozempified i

00:26:57was on everything and i couldn't lose the weight and these guys were fucking stuffing taco bell and

00:27:02smoking weed 30 times a day it was crazy yeah that's really fucking annoying playing video games okay

00:27:07what is the craziest rumor that spread online during that time oh everything i would i remember

00:27:14like because paparazzi that was real like i bet a lot of them called paparazzi but i would wake up

00:27:20half naked and remember like there was the hype house that was with all glass and i would look out

00:27:25the window and there's 400 kids waiting there trying to get pictures with whoever and paparazzi there

00:27:32and i i don't even remember the question i'm so traumatized by this what was the craziest rumor

00:27:38that was like spread online at that time um you're like i'm waking up naked in a glass house

00:27:45sorry you're just unlocking memories um i don't even know i think a lot like a lot of the time

00:27:51it was

00:27:52like people would like screenshot shit and like just make up things that like i was not like i was

00:27:58texting other girls or stuff like that and i was like i was like have you guys looked at me

00:28:01like

00:28:01i'm i'm questioning what my wife sees in me you think i'm gonna go find someone it was just like

00:28:06a weird thing where like i think everyone especially was just trying to like tear you down which i get

00:28:11it i looking back at it it was a weird fucking time it was so do you read saddle ranch

00:28:16oh my god i was

00:28:17there the other day why i was there the grammy after party someone was i was across the street and

00:28:22i

00:28:22looked over and i was like wow that's fucking crazy oh my god you were at sunset tower yes what

00:28:26is that

00:28:26place what is that you've moved up you used to be at saddle ranch now you're at sunset tower i

00:28:31would

00:28:31watch all the cool kids go to sunset tower as i was answering you know paparazzi questions in front

00:28:35of saddle ranch and i'd be like i want to go there and it was like you couldn't go well

00:28:38now you're

00:28:39there alex i'm really not i'm like waiting outside you are you were nominated for a grammy shut up

00:28:44um what is last one what is the most money you ever spent on a video

00:28:51oh if it wasn't my own money it was branded money it was like 75 000 oh wow and keep

00:28:57mine i was

00:28:57homeless so like that that is like wanting to keep that money was such a thing where i just didn't

00:29:03want to even post the video but it was like i had signed a deal saying i will spend the

00:29:07money that i

00:29:08was given for the video right or like you get credit for things i see and like what was the

00:29:13video

00:29:14i had it was like something in target or or not target it was a i had to buy like

00:29:21a bunch of

00:29:22inflatable stuff to do like a a thing where i surprised the whole house inside of it with like

00:29:28a water park and all these different things and this was the budget to spend on the video for the

00:29:31brand and i remember at that time i had not made any money yet and i when they sent me

00:29:36the the credit

00:29:37i wanted to keep that money so badly and i spent it all i didn't get i i literally i

00:29:43was betting on

00:29:44the monetization and that video got demonetized oh and you're like do you know how many times i

00:29:50wish i saved that money but now you know and you learned your lesson i did but there was a

00:29:55lot of

00:29:56money floating around too much too much and especially like you have to think like a lot of

00:30:00us at that time like i was a 19 year old kid i was homeless at 18 like i was

00:30:04that was right after

00:30:05and i never seen that much money ever and it hit your bank account you have to spend it can

00:30:09we talk

00:30:10about that for a minute because i'm thinking about you talking about how you're living in this house

00:30:16that is this glass mansion and yes some people were saying you know it was a dream and you're saying

00:30:22it

00:30:22was a dream but it yeah it feels like it clearly had a little bit more weight to you because

00:30:26you were

00:30:27homeless before moving into the hype house right your mom had kicked you out can you for anyone who's

00:30:32not familiar can you just tell that story dad passed away when i was nine to cancer my mom

00:30:38spiraled ever since then i mean rightfully so single four kids right during the recession left

00:30:43with nothing and she just didn't want to live anymore and so she just drank and drank and drank

00:30:48just trying to kill herself and as time went on i realized it was a problem and i would um

00:30:54i was a kid

00:30:55i didn't know but i would just call her out and i would pour it out i thought my mom's

00:30:59supposed to be

00:30:59perfect what are you doing and i would just dump it out everywhere and i became enemy number one for

00:31:03my mom i was the reason why she was drinking all of a sudden it gave her a sense of

00:31:07oh i need to

00:31:07drink to deal with this and so um yeah as time went on i think once i turned 18 it

00:31:12was like that

00:31:13that day on my birthday she kicked me out and i couldn't take anything except for what i owned and

00:31:17at that time it was a camera and a computer and so i started sleeping on my friend's couches

00:31:21and um sleeping on uh in cars and that's when i started filming with the camera and editing with

00:31:29the computer and um that's when i started doing well do you have siblings i do yeah did they stay

00:31:35with your mom they did my older sister was is a lot older so she was in college and didn't

00:31:41really

00:31:41understand the scope of things my older brother was uh in a marine so he was not home and then

00:31:47my

00:31:47youngest sister uh was too too young to understand i think she was just like i think everyone growing

00:31:52up thinks your parents are perfect and it hadn't hit her yet and uh once i left it started hitting

00:31:59her and she was like i need to get the f out of here and eventually my uncle uh took

00:32:04her out of it but

00:32:05um yeah it's it's it's always i always get the questions like what did your siblings do why

00:32:10wouldn't they were never there i've had a lot of conversations with friends or people on my show

00:32:14where like they they're it's so weird when you talk to your siblings about trauma or even just

00:32:21childhood in general and you have such a different experience than siblings and i think sometimes it's

00:32:27hard for people to fathom that because like what do you mean you're in under the same roof but it's

00:32:30like you really can have such a different experience with a parent than your sibling and to eventually

00:32:36come to terms with that is weird like have you and your sister been able to talk about your child

00:32:42so interesting it's like you're i have a camera on me i literally talked to my sister about this like

00:32:47a week ago i yeah it's there's a lot of unresolved tension i think it's just like i don't know

00:32:54what

00:32:54she went through she was so much older than me she remembers my dad way more than i do and

00:32:58i don't

00:32:58know what my siblings went through all i know is they all somewhat got it like the moment i moved

00:33:04out

00:33:04i remember my mom had just been wailing on me just punching me on the ground and i had never

00:33:08hit back

00:33:09ever i i just don't believe in that and so i'm sitting there taking these punches to the face

00:33:14and i remember my brother uh he just got home from the military walks out hears it and sees it

00:33:21and he

00:33:21just puts her in a chokehold and backs up and says you're not doing that anymore and i remember just

00:33:26then in there running out of the house my brother ran out with me and um i would i was

00:33:31sleeping at a

00:33:31friend's house and she had figured it out called the cops and said i hit her and so it's just

00:33:36this

00:33:36whole thing of like thankfully i had my brother to corroborate what actually happened or else i

00:33:39would have gotten picked up but like my mom was like that and that was like a really crazy thing

00:33:46very crazy because i also remember i read somewhere you had said that your mom was the greatest woman

00:33:52in the world when she wasn't drinking but the problem was she struggled with alcoholism every single

00:33:58day like how did you reconcile those two complete different versions of her because you had

00:34:05experienced her without it my mom would drink at 5 a.m and sleep all day so she would start

00:34:11drinking

00:34:11at like 3 or 4 a.m stay up all the way to take us to school and then she

00:34:14would sleep all day from

00:34:15there and consistently miss us from picking up you know at school but then would be alive and well at

00:34:21like 8 p.m so around that time i knew there was a window where like my mom drunk would

00:34:26like write

00:34:27suicide letters and then show me it and go i just wrote this suicide letter and i'm telling everyone

00:34:33it was your fault and then literally that same day at 8 p.m it would be it would be

00:34:40i just want you to

00:34:41know you're my favorite son and like she would be so kind and so genuine and like want to like

00:34:46cuddle

00:34:47and like watch a movie and like spend family time let's go out or on new year's eve let's bang

00:34:51the

00:34:51pots out back and like that was like all of a sudden like from if you knew a window right

00:34:55but

00:34:56then all of a sudden i think i turned 15 and that window just never existed anymore and it just

00:35:02became

00:35:02her have you been able to in processing like the loss of your mother and time away from it like

00:35:10tried to wrap your head around like where you think the like vitriol and hateful moments towards you

00:35:17came from in her most painful moments and i i figured this out i think i have it figured out

00:35:23my mom my mom was so i misunderstand my mom so much my mom was so in love with my

00:35:29dad so in love

00:35:30with my dad that she could not imagine a world living without him and so she didn't she just survived

00:35:37she did not like she died right when all of us left like my my little sister was the last

00:35:43to go

00:35:43and once he she knew she was taken care of she died and truly that entire time my mom i

00:35:49don't

00:35:49think my mom cared about having kids i think my mom cared about having kids with my dad and once

00:35:54that

00:35:56disappeared it was just okay i hate this i hate my life i hate my kids i hate the things

00:36:03that i'm in

00:36:04and i don't think she meant it in that way but i truly just don't think that she wanted to

00:36:07live anymore

00:36:08and so she did what she had to do to survive and that was to drink her life away but

00:36:14i could never

00:36:14put myself in that position i could never say i could never be there and and try and imagine that

00:36:20just because like imagine imagining four having four kids your husband of your life and a recession

00:36:26hits he dies you're in over your head in medical debt you have no money to your name you're 300

00:36:32to

00:36:32400 000 in debt and now all of a sudden you've never had a job and all of a sudden

00:36:36you have to

00:36:36just live i couldn't it's also so hard too because when you then now are becoming an adult and you're

00:36:44married and um i know you earlier referenced like maybe one day having kids like all these things you

00:36:51become really like cognizant of of like what you would want to do differently um and you're kind of

00:36:59talking about how now you have perspective on your mother like before she passed were you able to

00:37:03reconcile at all with her no i and that's that's the the many regrets i have i remember i don't

00:37:10know

00:37:10what spawned this i was driving and i was driving and i literally was like my biggest fear is dying

00:37:15alone and i don't know why i started thinking about that and i was like wow dying alone i could

00:37:19not

00:37:19imagine and i started thinking about my mom and i said she has no one i mean like there's no

00:37:23one

00:37:23there to even help her take the trash out so i texted her and i just i was like hey

00:37:27just thinking

00:37:28about you wanted to send you this picture and you know whatever um and never delivered and it turns

00:37:36out that she was already pretty much dead and i was like fuck like that's like we i remember going

00:37:43to

00:37:43going to um the hospital and she was they tell you she can hear you but she's yellow like i

00:37:51don't know

00:37:51if you've ever seen it but someone dying from liver failure is probably top fucking five worst things

00:37:58to see and they're just they don't look like a human they look like a zombie they're yellow and

00:38:02purple and they've no hair and their hair's all white because it couldn't survive and so you're

00:38:08you're seeing this and there's something called the death breath that's the most fucking horrifying

00:38:11thing in the world where it's like you think it's the last breath and it's like it and then it

00:38:17keeps

00:38:17going and that was oh oh but that was that was something where i i think we all had a

00:38:23moment where we

00:38:24were like we forgive you and everyone left the room and i sat there and i'm just like i'm so

00:38:28sorry

00:38:29like i'm so sorry i let you i'll let you but i'm so sorry that i i felt a sense

00:38:34of responsibility i felt

00:38:35like the thing is like say what you want that my mom did like i am a son i should

00:38:42have like whatever

00:38:44she did and it could be anything and i think like yes some people could say like oh well you

00:38:48didn't

00:38:48deserve it doesn't matter i am her son i can't imagine what it's like dying alone not knowing

00:38:55anything and i remember the last text she ever sent me before and i stupidly didn't respond the

00:38:59last text she sent me was i have a problem i'm going to aa for something else and and she

00:39:07died

00:39:08she tried she either thought knew something was wrong and she tried to fix it and it was too late

00:39:12or

00:39:12she tried to fix it and she died trying oh my god i mean alex like even hearing you talk

00:39:18about this

00:39:18there's so many layers of you have guilt you wanted you obviously made an attempt to repair

00:39:25it with your mother you both which is so relatable kind of reached out to the other person and the

00:39:32other one wasn't ready to accept it or willing to accept it at the time but you both had the

00:39:36same

00:39:37intention you both were genuinely you loved each other and you weren't able to show that whether

00:39:42it was because of the illness she was experiencing or the anger that you had for her and you're

00:39:46getting physically abused so it's like at some point of course you should remove yourself from

00:39:51a situation you shouldn't be there with open arms um but when she passed i can't help but also think

00:39:58like you were alone for a lot of your life right when she was alive you were surviving and it

00:40:04felt

00:40:04like you were alone because you didn't have a mother and you didn't have your father and then when she

00:40:09passed you were physically literally alone um how did both of those versions feel different

00:40:18i think when i when she was alive it fueled me of i'm going to prove this person wrong

00:40:23my entire life my mom told me that i wouldn't be a singer it just wasn't going to happen i

00:40:28suck i

00:40:29sound bad it's you need to go to college and get a degree because you need to do it this

00:40:33way

00:40:33it's never going to happen those people aren't like you um so when this happened i wanted to so

00:40:39badly be like i did it fuck you i think now i did it and i miss you and i

00:40:49think that's that's the

00:40:50hard part is like i think i was insecure and i didn't understand it and now it's kind of like

00:40:56fuck dude i wish i could like tell you you know like i this my friend just had a kid

00:41:01and she's

00:41:02learning how to ride a bike and there's this thing he was explaining to me the other day of

00:41:05like you know it's so cool it's like this person she started riding a bike and she looked back and

00:41:10she says look mom and dad i did it and the thing with the grammys and all these different things

00:41:15is

00:41:15it really i wanted to look back and say fuck yeah you know like my dad would do these talent

00:41:20shows and

00:41:21he was so and this is what makes me excited for kids is i can't wait to be what my

00:41:25dad was for me

00:41:26he's a supportive person that no matter what like it was just you can do it like he was fighting

00:41:31cancer and waking up every morning just to give us these experiences just because he knew it was

00:41:35limited and and to be able to do that for my kids and be able to be supportive and show

00:41:40them

00:41:41that you can do anything and i think i'm a testament to that like this entire time and the

00:41:45things i've gone through to be able to play at the grammys and and be nominated for grammy with

00:41:49everything that i've gone through is as i feel like it's you can't you cannot prove to anyone

00:41:54that it's not possible if you look at that oh completely like i think the the amount that you

00:42:03survived throughout your childhood and the adversity that you had to overcome

00:42:08you shouldn't have had to go through it but it only prepared you more for this chaotic fucking

00:42:14industry that you've now walked into um do you feel safe now whoa yeah i i i yeah

00:42:25that's a loaded fucking question jesus i i am yeah my career is a perfect example i think where

00:42:33i am in my career right now i think a good amount of people have gotten to and i've also

00:42:38watched it

00:42:39just go down you know and i think that's part of me is like i'm such in a fight or

00:42:42flight moment

00:42:43that like i don't ever want i was homeless with my wife i know exactly what that's like and as

00:42:48much

00:42:48fun as i had with my wife i never want to do that again i want to have kids and

00:42:52i want to give

00:42:52them the life i never had you know like i want to be able to be there for my kid

00:42:56which means i

00:42:57want to keep doing this i want to keep touring i want to be able to provide for a child

00:43:01and be able

00:43:02to be present in their life which i feel like it's a privilege and a luxury that not a lot

00:43:05of people

00:43:05have i didn't have that um and so i i'm probably one of the most not in the moment person

00:43:15ever because

00:43:16of it i'm constantly thinking okay how do i do this how do i do that to make sure that

00:43:20i don't go

00:43:20back to this and every time a song might not do well or i suck at a performance i'm beating

00:43:26myself

00:43:26up about it because i'm so scared that um either my mom's opinion is right or that i will go

00:43:34back

00:43:34to where i was right you're like constantly in survival mode right right right you're constantly

00:43:38on the edge of like i could lose it all i mean the grammy is a perfect example i sat

00:43:43there the

00:43:43entire time saying my career is over and do you think it's going to just take you continuing

00:43:47to live experiences like the grammys and then guess what you're sitting here today you've got

00:43:53a new song out like everything is okay i fucking hope so i'll let you know it could go all

00:44:00downhill

00:44:01for all i know i don't think i'll ever get out of this okay we're gonna work on it just

00:44:04a little bit

00:44:04next time i see you you're gonna be like okay hopefully maybe no i've done a lot like

00:44:10i i i have an amazing wife i have an amazing career i make music that i absolutely fucking love

00:44:18i do what i love like i i get to play arenas like that's fucking nuts um i have amazing

00:44:26friends like

00:44:27where i am today and also i'm healthy i love what i do i work out i exercise i'm quite

00:44:32literally the

00:44:33happiest i've ever been and i'm able to say i'm happy with who i am today it took me so

00:44:38long to do

00:44:39that though call her daddy is brought to you by tinder ladies we all have the group chat that goes

00:44:46into high alert when someone has a date you're sending outfit options maybe the restaurant menu

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00:45:33making eye contact across the table maybe kicking each other underneath the table just like feeling

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00:46:03date it starts with the swipe download tinder today okay let's talk about relationships you said

00:46:09in an interview perfect um you said in an interview that before you got married you were notoriously

00:46:14cheated on what was happening right because i have to be the problem that's exactly what i thought

00:46:23no no i i had a really good looking friend and he was my best friend and he's still really

00:46:29one of

00:46:29my close friends i talked to him all the time very good looking every time i dated a girl the

00:46:36test was

00:46:37to bring him around because he was notorious for stealing my girlfriends this is your best friend oh

00:46:42yeah we we weren't friends after this the last one but oh he was notorious for trying to get with

00:46:47my

00:46:47girlfriends or um he was very attractive and i there was something about it but he would he would

00:46:52just uh yeah it's and you stayed friends with him after i'm a very forgiving person alex it's just a

00:46:57thing i'm like wait so this happened multiple times i didn't realize until the last one okay yes

00:47:03yes i had it i had a i had an intuition um anyway i was driving with this girl she

00:47:09was texting

00:47:09him and they were sending like hearts and saying like a lot of shit and i was just like it's

00:47:13cool i'm

00:47:13i'm 17 18 so it's pretty it's pretty like i've been dating my wife since i was 18 so a

00:47:18lot of

00:47:19these are elementary relationships of course of course of like oh my god you cheated on me with

00:47:22bradley on the swing set um but no it was just four or five times i think that i was

00:47:28like this these

00:47:29people are texting other people or actually hooking up with other people while i'm with them and

00:47:33um i was just a hopeless romantic so every time i would get cheated on or broken up with i

00:47:38would go to

00:47:38a piano go why me why are you doing this to me like it was just it was bad and

00:47:44then you'd be like

00:47:44okay i'm over it and then you'd go to the next person and then it kept happening and eventually

00:47:48you found covert yeah okay can we go back to the first time you saw your wife with someone else's

00:47:53snapchat story yes it's a modern day love story it is so romantic thank you um and you said that

00:47:59you

00:47:59immediately were interested when you saw her on this story what was it about her that caught your eye

00:48:05she was she wasn't wearing any makeup and she wasn't trying and she was what she was sleeping

00:48:10and keep mind she still sleeps to this day i'll go surfing in the morning and she finds the comfiest

00:48:15rock to lay on and she'll fall asleep and i'll literally be up in the out in the break and

00:48:20i look

00:48:20in and she's like i know she's sleeping like this like she'll just sleep wherever she's so good at

00:48:24falling asleep places um but she was just like she looked just naturally beautiful without trying

00:48:30and if you look that beautiful without trying i bet you look beautiful all the time so

00:48:34who is filming your wife back then sleeping my friend she had moved to hawaii and became roommates

00:48:41with okay okay so they were always like fucking with each other and they both had really box dyed

00:48:46blonde hair and so this woman who was tan as hell because she's from hawaii has this box dyed white

00:48:53hair and i was like this is the hottest woman i've ever seen in my entire life oh my god

00:48:58okay so how did

00:48:59you guys end up talking like how did you we were snap shitting back snap chatting back before they

00:49:03put me in contact she had a boyfriend at the time and i was like i don't fuck with that

00:49:05i don't do

00:49:06that shit and so whatever it was like a week or two and they ended up not working and she

00:49:10started

00:49:11talking to me and she's like oh like you know whatever she flies out to san diego with this friend

00:49:16um because this friend's also from my hometown and she i remember she walks out of the uh she walks

00:49:22out of

00:49:23the the baggage claim and i just everyone looks like they're wearing the hawaiian shirt very like

00:49:28like very touristy and this girl wearing a bright yellow t-shirt tanner than shit with white hair

00:49:35comes running out and i go that's my wife and i literally i had waited so for four four to

00:49:40five

00:49:40months we were long distance without ever seeing each other and she comes out and i had never said i

00:49:45love you and she was texting me i love you or love you and apparently love you and i love

00:49:48you are

00:49:48different but wait so the first time that you guys physically meet in person is she flies to san

00:49:52diego to meet you yes i see her and i had been waiting to say i love you i run

00:49:56up to her like

00:49:57a movie i kiss her and i go i love you it's the first thing out of my mouth yeah

00:50:01and then say back

00:50:02duh okay and then i took her to in and out and then we had our first night together in

00:50:05a motel six that

00:50:06i borrowed 75 from my friend to buy except at the time i'm homeless did she know you were homeless

00:50:14not yet okay that night she found out so you were explaining the motel six and we write in and

00:50:20out

00:50:20and i was like i i we were with a group of friends and then she's like well where are

00:50:25we staying

00:50:25tonight and that's when i said i i got us uh a place and then we went to a motel

00:50:30six keep in mind

00:50:31this entire time i'm thinking that this woman is about to bail on me because this is not romantic

00:50:35this is fucking horrible um and i i looking back i'm a piece of shit for this um but at

00:50:41we went and

00:50:42i was like this i'm sorry this is what it is and i explained it and she's like fuck it

00:50:46let's do it

00:50:47so her reaction was just like you know what here we go here we are fuck it let's do it

00:50:51was her exact

00:50:52words although you were so excited to say you loved her in the airport there must have been

00:50:56some terror terror terror i was horrified but i wanted if this was going to be the only six hours

00:51:03i ever get with this girl that i've literally fallen in love with i want to show her how much

00:51:07i love her so this entire time i we went to in and out she wanted to try it for

00:51:10the first time

00:51:11and i knew this hack that you could get a burger and a water cup and then if you got

00:51:15fries but you

00:51:15added it a certain way it was four dollars and 38 cents things have changed obviously with inflation

00:51:19but um that was what it was and i knew i could afford it so i had a five dollar

00:51:23bill we shared

00:51:23a burger and um i my friend or all our friends because i didn't have a car and we had

00:51:29stayed in

00:51:29a motel and then later the next day we slept slept in that same car i um started in a

00:51:34long distance

00:51:35relationship as well and i think that there's something really it gets doesn't sound sexy and

00:51:40beautiful but there is something really amazing about it because it really forces you to just

00:51:44talk and talk and talk and facetime and you get to really know each other well like what do you

00:51:50think though in those four months without being physically together what was it that made you know

00:51:56that you were so in love with her and you were ready to tell her we would be on facetime

00:52:00without

00:52:00even talking like we would just not talk and i would fall asleep with my phone as if we were

00:52:06sleeping

00:52:07together and she would be falling asleep and so we literally i'd wake up some days we're still on

00:52:11facetime and it was like it was like it was i i was in fact it was 3 a.m

00:52:17obviously but like

00:52:18i i was just always like what the fuck like i'm i don't even live with this woman and i

00:52:22want to spend

00:52:22every waking moment with her i would facetime her with him with friends i was that guy who people

00:52:28were like dude get the fuck off your phone and i couldn't not talk to her i was toxic probably

00:52:33but

00:52:33like like that's the thing right you you were really into it and you but then you somehow

00:52:40managed to kind of keep it like i'm not telling her that i'm fully living out of my car right

00:52:44now

00:52:44i'm starting to realize i'm kind of a red flag no like this is like well she's down there isn't

00:52:49she so she can attest like you turn out okay i'm okay the marriage is going well right oh my

00:52:53god

00:52:53it's amazing okay so perfect i've never been better um you get married at 23 yes which for some

00:52:58people standards is pretty young yeah how did you know you were ready for that big step uh my dad

00:53:04before he passed one of the few things i remember is he said make sure you love the woman that

00:53:09you're

00:53:09marrying and he for some reason would always say five years was this thing he would always say five

00:53:15years and i was like i was like i the moment i met cover i knew that i wanted to

00:53:21marry her but i knew

00:53:21i was really immature and like you said i had red flags i wanted to make sure that through high

00:53:27powers through everything that a if i'm going to marry this person i can provide for this person

00:53:31if i'm going to marry this person that i and come on i didn't have that when we started living

00:53:35in a

00:53:35car i wanted it to be able to do that you know um i wanted to make sure that i

00:53:39was emotionally and

00:53:40mentally mature enough to be able to be a good husband and i wanted to make sure that especially

00:53:45after marriage comes kids i wanted to make sure i was ready to be a father and so like that

00:53:49was the

00:53:49biggest thing for me was like you know i i grew up really quickly and i i started to live

00:53:54out like my

00:53:55childhood days or like be a little bit immature when i was like 21 where i was just like figuring

00:54:00out what kind of man i wanted to be um and so i really wanted to make sure that i

00:54:05had that out of

00:54:05just like i i don't want to be married starting to have kids and fucking i mean we were always

00:54:11practically married but like just doing the whole thing i want to make sure i could give her a grand

00:54:14wedding and and and be able to have her family come out and do everything and when the timing made

00:54:18sense it happened oh my gosh wow that's really it's beautiful to hear like how it started to then

00:54:24obviously the wedding and everything and where you guys are now she hated it she wanted to get

00:54:27married like two years and i was like trust me it'll all make sense but that's sweet that you

00:54:32weren't rushing and you were like slow playing it because you're like i need time right what do you

00:54:36think would you say is her best quality as a partner i a i would say that the her creativeness

00:54:44just in general i'm so infatuated but b she's such a provider like i i'll be like in a session

00:54:51and

00:54:51she'll bring everyone home cooked meals or like every night when i do sessions like if everyone

00:54:55comes to my house for a studio because i have a studio at my house she'll be like okay here's

00:54:58for dinner for monday tuesday wednesday and she has these horses and she like grew like she has

00:55:04everything kind of planned out where you know oh like nothing's impossible to my wife and it's the

00:55:08coolest fucking thing in the world she built my half pipe so i grew up skateboarding and i was like

00:55:13wow i really want a half pipe and she's like oh buy it and so i bought it and it

00:55:15came in lumber

00:55:16obviously and she goes cool i'm gonna build it i said what and she's like i'm gonna build it i

00:55:20don't know how

00:55:20but i really want to learn so she did that and then we had bought in our first home and

00:55:24she's

00:55:25like cool i want to build a rock wall and so she went and got brick and mortar and literally

00:55:29figured

00:55:30out and i i come on i have photos on my phone of her on a scaffolding with knee pads

00:55:35and goggles with

00:55:37a paint machine and she's learning how to paint walls and she built every single bedroom in my house

00:55:41with wood to make this cool like it she did she wanted to make the art so she made all

00:55:46the art she

00:55:47does my tattoo she learned how to do tattoos like all of this is her and so like nothing my

00:55:52wife is

00:55:52impossible at saying i can't do that wow that's really admirable dude it's the coolest shit i i

00:55:58quite literally trust my wife if she really wants to she can do anything that is a beautiful quality

00:56:04to have as a human being and really inspiring i can't also help but think about you know when you

00:56:10guys you meet and then the hype house era begins and you guys so much of your relationship

00:56:15started online and then has continued to be online like was there ever a time that the internet got

00:56:22in the way or caused problems in your relationship 100 like i think that was that was again where i

00:56:28was

00:56:29as like for me back when i was like 21 22 years old not 22 like 19 to 21 was

00:56:37the three years where

00:56:38i was just like like looking back at it i was just like oh i want to get the clip

00:56:43like i got so

00:56:45i got so in fact with the fact that i need to make sure i'm never homeless again that i

00:56:49started to just

00:56:49be like we need to film this we need to film that to the point where i was like i'm

00:56:52not even taking

00:56:52her out on dates because i'm like so focused on getting a video like we'd go out on a date

00:56:56and i'm

00:56:56like oh we should film this tiktok or whatever the hell and like so for me at least i was

00:57:00like okay

00:57:00i need to be i if i want to marry this woman and i need to get my fucking act

00:57:05together and that was

00:57:07right when i started music and just like kind of becoming who i am today i think with ordinary i

00:57:13was

00:57:13so like this is the first thing that's ever gone really really well and i want to really lean into

00:57:18this and i was touring for the first time and that was really difficult for us as a couple because

00:57:23it was like i've been with you for five or six years and you've never we've never spent a night

00:57:27apart ever since we started sleeping together like you know and so all of a sudden i have to

00:57:32say goodbye to you for eight months and so she's been going on tours and we've been finding a really

00:57:37great medium it's so fun having her on tour she brings the dogs and we she cooks and it's it's

00:57:41the coolest thing in the world i just need to get better at what at dates like that's the one

00:57:46thing

00:57:46where i'm like come on alex i know i know let's let's pop it up let's think of a good

00:57:50date night

00:57:51but we every time we plan a date night we look at each other we go should we just watch

00:57:55a movie

00:57:55okay that's fair like that's the thing what if next date night you even if she's out doing

00:58:01something you just make the house a date night see that's sick and i've thought of that like you can

00:58:06do that i know because i i'm the same way i'm like oh my god a date night is so

00:58:10much better when

00:58:10you're just at home and you're cozy i still want her to try like i don't want her to do

00:58:13anything but

00:58:14you need to try i know i know okay i know some flowers and candles every time i just write

00:58:22like

00:58:22a really like depressing love song about her and i'm like look and she's like fuck her take me out

00:58:26to eat asshole i know you know it's so funny it's like cover has like the dream life where like

00:58:32a guy

00:58:32is writing you these like gorgeous songs but she's like i get that every day right let's go she's like

00:58:38it's fine you said that nine different fucking times can we go eat some fucking fettuccine alfredo

00:58:42okay take the girl to get some fettuccine alfredo when you do post it on your story so we all

00:58:47know

00:58:47i know and tag me um okay your vows yes have over 13 million likes and i think everyone cried

00:58:56watching

00:58:57them everyone was like so obsessed when you post them obviously um when you look back at that day like

00:59:02what was the most important thing that you really wanted to convey to covert in those vows i will

00:59:09never write anything as good as those and that was fully the night before i was so cocky going into

00:59:14it i was like i'm a songwriter i can easily write these vows 11 p.m it starts and there's

00:59:19the cursor

00:59:19that's blinking on on docs and it's literally to cover or i say cover and it's how it starts and

00:59:25i

00:59:25blink and it's 3 a.m nothing not a single fucking vow not a single word has been written because

00:59:31i

00:59:31couldn't fathom how am i supposed to sum up the fact that this woman changed my life into a page

00:59:36and say it in front of all of our friends um and family and so i i was freaking out

00:59:43my friend at the

00:59:44time he was still up working and he's like step away from the fucking computer and tell me about

00:59:48her and i just start talking and i just literally just start blubbering like everything that i feel

00:59:54about this woman and he's like write it down he's like write that down he's like write that down that's

00:59:57good write that down and i blink and it's just this this that's what the vows were was just me

01:00:02not thinking and talking about my wife and i just wanted to like it's hard to explain

01:00:08i say all these things on on here and i say oh my wife slept in a car with me

01:00:13and people probably if

01:00:14i was people i'd probably listen to be like all right dude shut the fuck up but truly like this

01:00:18woman

01:00:20dropped out of college to sleep in a car with some 18 year old dumbass who didn't tell her and

01:00:26was

01:00:26like i'm homeless and i want to be a singer and this girl goes that sounds like i want to

01:00:31do that

01:00:31like how do you sum that out of like oh this woman is an angel who saved my life no

01:00:36it was meant to be

01:00:37and so when i when i read it i couldn't i couldn't bear i knew it was right because every

01:00:41time i tried

01:00:42to read it i couldn't stop crying so after i wrote it i never read it again i wrote it

01:00:48down in a notebook

01:00:49which i ended up reading during the the ceremony and i never read it before i went on and i

01:00:54just said

01:00:55in the vows you say she saw something in you that you didn't see in yourself what were you referring

01:01:01to my wife sees the good in so many people that it ends up hurting her and that is something

01:01:11with

01:01:11me that i i'm i'm like stop but at the same time i love you for it is she just

01:01:16sees so much good

01:01:16and in me at least i think that there's a lot of brokenness especially when i met her like my

01:01:22mom

01:01:23she was alive for for cover and my mom was a horrible person to cover terrible enough to

01:01:32give anyone a reason to to leave that and she understood everything she understood she was she

01:01:39handled it with so much grace and so so much so much decorum that i was like wow how can

01:01:46you handle

01:01:47that and so it's just to me at least that that was when i was thinking about when i was

01:01:51writing that

01:01:51i was like you put up with so much bullshit so much of my bullshit so much of my selfishness

01:01:56so much of

01:01:57you know to go through whatever that was the hype house and and how who i was during that to

01:02:01now

01:02:02a music career where i'm fully traveling all the time and singing and talking about us and all these

01:02:08things kind of laying it all out for people like that i can't yes it's great but all the same

01:02:12time

01:02:12there's so many cons to that you know you guys have that even you just saying that of like

01:02:17i was just thinking about it like one as hard as it i'm sure was that your mom treated cover

01:02:25that way

01:02:26there's also something so beautiful that she got to meet her so you are able to sit with her and

01:02:31when

01:02:31you talk about it she's like oh no i get it i was there i lived it with you but

01:02:36then you're right like

01:02:36the trajectory of starting from this place of living in your car and she joined you to now this

01:02:44extraordinary life you're living and you've got a studio in your house and you're you know you've

01:02:48got this amazing wife and you're building these memories like feels like a movie yes but that also

01:02:54takes like a lot of communication through that growth to be able to make sure like are we good

01:03:00are we still on the same page are you a therapist no but i'm just thinking of like this is

01:03:04really nice

01:03:05i like that i i this couch is getting really comfy you're sinking in farther and farther and some

01:03:10well great refreshments i'm but you know what i mean like you got anything next week yeah we'll be

01:03:16back here same time next week but you know what i mean like the the growth has been amazing on

01:03:21paper

01:03:21but like that's a lot to handle as an individual and as a couple so like kudos to you guys

01:03:27that you

01:03:27guys have been able to stay so connected while the thing is growing so large dude it's been really

01:03:33cool like we literally go like can you believe like we were again we bought our first house not too

01:03:38long ago and i remember we stood in front of it and i was holding her and i was like

01:03:43can you fucking believe this dude like it was such a we had this such a i wish i could

01:03:49relive that

01:03:49moment every time or at least show cover and alex five years ago six years ago or whenever it was

01:03:55like we i was saying i was like how nuts is this like this is our fence like we were

01:03:59we were looking

01:04:00at the weird inanimate things that no one thinks about like honey look this brick like we went around

01:04:06the house and i was like that brick right there that brick in between all the 500 other bricks

01:04:11that brick is ours you're grateful that's dude it's so cool and it's been so nice too because like

01:04:16cover and i especially during the whatever times like it's we were so easy we're so easy to please

01:04:21because we slept on floors and whatever the fuck and so it's so nice and it's really nice is when

01:04:26i

01:04:26start to get a little bougie or when she gets a little bougie i'm like cover and she's like you're

01:04:31so

01:04:31right you're so right i'm like i'm like that was kind of fucked it's like finding the balance of

01:04:36being like we deserve this and let's enjoy it it's the best because that's our arguments that's always

01:04:41our arguments i was like coverage because but we deserve it i go that's a little stupid right you

01:04:45have to have like a barometer it's like awesome are we pushing it too much my wife and i only

01:04:49argue

01:04:49about one thing and it's fucking children name and and a rug and who's supposed to pay for the rug

01:04:56rugs are so sneaky expensive thousands of dollars for rugs thousands i i what is that i i'm rugless

01:05:04right now because i my the principle is i don't want to pay that much for a rug okay wait

01:05:08kid names

01:05:09so who has the crazier kid names like are you more chill with them or is she going more chill

01:05:14and

01:05:14you're going crazy i think it's like taming it a little bit like she's a little bit like oh well

01:05:18this is really cool and i'm like sweetheart but you don't want to be that like the couple that does

01:05:22that like i think there's originality but there's also like i really like that name and she's

01:05:26like if you tell anyone our fucking names that we've come up with i'm going to murder you and

01:05:30your children will be fatherless and i said look i don't want to do that to them it's it's been

01:05:33a

01:05:33she's like keeping them but then you're also like i know but babe like no one's gonna name their kids

01:05:37these names she's gatekeeping that notes app it's got a lock on it and it's hidden and it's titled

01:05:42something fully fucking completely different she is so protective of her kid names honestly respect

01:05:48i've seen a lot of women online be like i can now tell you all the extra kid names i

01:05:52have now that

01:05:53i've named my kid yeah and some of them are like sephora yeah like like like bicyclette like it's

01:05:59gonna like so you're not naming your kid bicyclette no but maybe okay i i did that was right off

01:06:04the

01:06:04dome and i'm i'm it sounds gorgeous bice is a really great nickname that i've been thinking

01:06:09what songs is your wife's current favorite my wife literally just plays a rotation of taylor swift

01:06:15like i i that your song oh at least in my wife sorry i've been so obsessed with talking about

01:06:19my wife what are your wife's favorite songs of yours although we love taylor oh oh wait what's

01:06:24her favorite taylor album do you know this folklore folklore oh for sure love i hope that's right but

01:06:31she always talks about folklore do you know what her favorite song is of taylor uh no but she's

01:06:36always singing long live every slip then i sing and then the light shine just for me and you yeah

01:06:42and but i she your songs her favorite of my songs she is obsessed with one called um called only

01:06:52thing

01:06:52left which is a breakup song funny enough okay i wrote for a show i'm like out of all the

01:06:59love songs

01:07:00you love that one she loves like the ones you would never expect call her daddy is brought to you

01:07:05by

01:07:05airbnb okay i think many of you know by now that matt and i are both so passionate about building

01:07:12our

01:07:13company together and i love that about us but it does mean that we'll you know get wrapped up at

01:07:18the office and then we'll accidentally keep the meeting going sometimes when we get home so for

01:07:23valentine's day this year i really wanted to do something that would allow us to leave work behind

01:07:28and just reconnect with each other i thought of the most romantic place that i could that wasn't too far

01:07:33and i booked the cutest cottage in santa barbara on airbnb for us when i tell you this place was

01:07:40so

01:07:40perfect i had we had ocean views a huge claw bathtub cozy little reading corners everywhere i felt like we

01:07:47were in italy honestly the first night we left our phones at home and we walked on the beach before

01:07:52dinner to catch the sunset and you guys the pasta that we had after was beyond life-changing the next

01:07:59day

01:07:59we also drove out to a winery for a tasting we brought a bottle back home and we sat by

01:08:04the

01:08:04fireplace talking for hours and of course there was a little backyard for henry and bruce to run around

01:08:11so literally everyone was thriving in the family booking this trip through airbnb really allowed us to

01:08:16slow down and reset but also gave us the privacy to just be with each other if you are looking

01:08:22ahead

01:08:22at 2026 and thinking of traveling start with airbnb obviously there's flights to book and pto to request

01:08:29but finding the right place to stay that's what sets the whole tone for the trip on airbnb you'll find

01:08:35spots with the amenities location and size that you're looking for your next great trip starts with

01:08:42a great place to stay whether it's a large cabin in the mountains or a cozy loft downtown airbnb

01:08:48has a space for your travel story you have a new single out fever dream tell me about the writing

01:08:56process the people i work with today are the people i've always worked with like i started with them

01:09:00and i stay with them you know and so everything that i write uh is with them and so this

01:09:03song

01:09:04especially you know all of us have are in really great relationships and we wanted to write about this

01:09:09feeling of falling in love for the first time and what that is and there's this euphoric feeling when

01:09:13you do like when you see that person for the first time and maybe you've seen that person every

01:09:17single day and then the one time you start to be like wait i'm seeing you differently today and if

01:09:23you get this weird like warm feeling and you kind of like you get your their number and then they

01:09:27give

01:09:27it to you and yeah we wanted to kind of put that in a song also i feel like i've

01:09:31seen in interviews

01:09:31you've said like you wanted to get lightly away from some like being all sad music yes this is fun

01:09:39it's fun as hell and like there's still like nine different other sad ones that you could listen to

01:09:43perfect right you're still gonna give us that yeah but you were giving us an uplifting one too

01:09:47i think it's really obvious when you hear a song it's like okay alex is crying again about his dad

01:09:51let's off okay the um cameos in the music video yes paris hilton crazy right can you explain how i'm

01:10:01so excited i know like how did you get the queen in passing when the grammys thing happened she had

01:10:06commented and and we had you know talked and when i was thinking of this music video especially and we

01:10:12were writing it i wanted it to not make any fucking sense and when the whole entire music

01:10:17videos i'm chasing this girl that's supposedly my wife and once i finally reach her i get to her and

01:10:24it's paris fucking hilton and she slaps me awake and i'm homeless still homeless busking because i

01:10:30never met my wife so the whole music video is just random things we're like what the hell is that

01:10:35and then you finally get to the person and it's a weird like whoa i was not expecting that and

01:10:41then

01:10:41you it's it's at the end and it's like this weird like shutter island vibe where you're kind of like

01:10:46wait what this was that the whole time how cool that you got paris hilton in a music video she's

01:10:51amazing she's amazing she's like her reputation reputation precedes her of like she's quite literally

01:10:56just such a sweet girl she's incredible and so intelligent she's so smart so so so so smart

01:11:02she is every she's everything and more when you meet her which is really cool um you've had a lot

01:11:09of cameos i have like how the hell did you get jennifer aniston to be in that skit she's the

01:11:16best i love

01:11:16her what like to this day i still text her and it's just she's amazing i had her boyfriend and

01:11:24her or

01:11:25really uh they like the music and i had edit shearin had asked if he could connect me with jen

01:11:31and i was like jen who but sure and so i gave him my number and i got a facetime

01:11:37and it's courtney

01:11:38cox and jennifer aniston on the facetime and i was like holy fucking shit this is crazy this is crazy

01:11:44and so i played ordinary for them on facetime and um i'm still like to this day i still talk

01:11:50to both

01:11:50of them and they are just so amazing so supportive and um i had asked her if she would be

01:11:55in it and

01:11:55she literally i sent her the script because i wrote it so i wrote this script with my friend and

01:11:59i was

01:12:00like please so good judge this it please as you may she goes it's amazing i'll do it she didn't

01:12:04change a single thing she loved it and she acted in it and she showed up and i've worked with

01:12:08a lot

01:12:08of people and this girl i i admire her so much just for how she walked in and just nailed

01:12:14it and goes

01:12:15all right later it was the best surprise on the internet seeing a skit with jennifer aniston and you

01:12:21i was like what what is happening it did feel like a fever dream at that point because i was

01:12:26like this is

01:12:26not making sense so cool that's i also love how they just like casually facetimed you out of nowhere

01:12:32no i like i was like i was like what the fuck is happening and max greenfield from new girl

01:12:36was on

01:12:37i texted him and i said would you be down to be in this and he said i'll be there

01:12:41at 3 p.m and just

01:12:42randomly came it was so cool you are you've got some good cameos i'm so happy about it like it's

01:12:48really good um so can we say like there's an album coming yeah yeah yeah 100 i'm not taylor swift

01:12:55no

01:12:55one gives a fuck yes okay and how long have you been working on it uh a year i think

01:13:01or so like

01:13:02it's it's been in the making for the last few months but like the the the songs and titles and

01:13:07stuff have been in the making for a bit um i heard that maybe you're gonna share something exclusive

01:13:15here on call our daddy today yeah dude anything what do you want to hear where's my phone i don't

01:13:19know i you're gonna play a little something yes i would love to of a song so i can give

01:13:26you some

01:13:27backstory on this too this is a sad sad song okay my dad before he passed away wrote me a

01:13:33letter okay

01:13:34and i have yet to ever read it and so i'm reading it after this i'm driving down to his

01:13:39grave and i'm

01:13:40gonna read it to him and i had written a song about that of just like he loved writing letters

01:13:45and so i

01:13:46wrote him one and i want to read his letter and i'm gonna read him i'm gonna cry i'm gonna

01:13:50read him

01:13:50mine and uh my wife who's the best person in the world she bought me um she found his sports

01:13:57car that

01:13:57he bought before he had us and had to sell it for cancer treatments and he she found it and

01:14:02bought it

01:14:03and so i wrote a song kind of just like if he had missed anything to keep him up with

01:14:08it and so i don't

01:14:09we can send you the audio too so it's better but i'll play you it how's that

01:14:15you can start it whenever

01:14:20intros are too long these days i'm already emotional

01:14:25i wrote a letter to you last night instead of talking to the dark

01:14:32so much i want to say ever since you've been away and i don't want to skip a part

01:14:38i went out and bought your old car that i wasn't old enough to drive

01:14:44i didn't have your help so i taught myself wish that i could take you for a ride

01:14:51i miss you more the more you miss what i'd give to hear your voice on nights like this

01:15:05i'll miss you more the more you miss i'll play the whole song i don't this is sad it's sad

01:15:17but it's

01:15:17so beautiful like that you have this outlet in this career that you're able because so many people

01:15:24are going to also be able to connect with that so many people have lost loved ones or parents and

01:15:30not been able to have that final conversation they wish they could have had um you were nine

01:15:35when he passed so you have had a letter yeah since you were nine years old that you never opened

01:15:44i'm thinking about i really want to have kids and cobra and i are going to start trying and i

01:15:49i don't know i feel like there's a time and place that i'm supposed to read it

01:15:52how did you throughout those years decide not to open it

01:15:58i don't even know i don't there was no plan it was just it was just for me i i

01:16:02don't think i've

01:16:03ever been ready i think like for everything i've gone through and how self-deprecating i am i do think

01:16:08i'm emotionally pretty mature and i think the one thing for me at least is um when i read it

01:16:14i want

01:16:14it to mean everything to me and i i just think like right now where i am and everything i'm

01:16:20i've

01:16:21accomplished i think i'm proud of who i am and i want to read that in that state yeah did

01:16:27he give

01:16:28you this letter or did someone give it to you that they found it that he wrote it to you

01:16:32the day he

01:16:33died it was 5 15 in the morning my mom comes in to wake me up says time say goodbye

01:16:38to your dad

01:16:39and i remember walking down the steps and he was dead and um

01:16:46yeah i had just i was sitting there just literally hitting him and just telling him to wake up and

01:16:54um after that i prayed and i i um my mom handed all of us because my dad had written

01:17:03it one for

01:17:04everyone and i was just thinking the other day i was like i i have no idea how i was

01:17:12so scared to

01:17:13there was a award i was accepting and i was terrified to accept the award and the grammys

01:17:18i was scared for and i was thinking about and i was like my dad was fucking terrified had to

01:17:24be

01:17:24he was dying and he wrote these letters and he was strong enough and fearless enough to do that i

01:17:30was

01:17:30like if he can do that i can do fucking anything and so i just remember i read it when

01:17:36i was nine and

01:17:37i haven't read it since and i don't remember a single fucking thing are you going to play that

01:17:43song for him at the grave yeah i played it for him already i played it for him when i

01:17:47wrote it i went

01:17:49i went there after i wrote it and i did i hadn't been to his grave in so long and

01:17:54i went and i just i

01:17:55dropped to my knees and i broke down because all the graves were clean and everyone had flowers except

01:18:02for mine and i i had put i was so selfish i thought that i shouldn't go there if i

01:18:08wasn't ready

01:18:09needless to think that but i went and i had no one took care of it it was dirty it

01:18:14was whatever and so

01:18:16i spent the day and i cleaned it and i went and bought flowers and i put it in i

01:18:20sat there and i was

01:18:21like dad i'm nominated for a grammy and i just i spoke to him as if nothing ever happened and

01:18:27um

01:18:28and i played him the song and now i feel like it's really nice that i get to go down

01:18:32there and

01:18:32say hi again and and i feel like that's like what i need at least is just be able to

01:18:36like be there and

01:18:37talk to him your dad oh my god he would be so proud of you hopefully fuck he would he

01:18:43hated tattoos

01:18:44though so i don't know he'll be focused on the music right um is there anything that you

01:18:50leading up to rereading this obviously i agree like i don't remember much at nine years old like is

01:18:55there anything you're looking are you looking for anything when you read this letter that he wrote

01:19:00you are you hoping for anything to be in that letter i think i'm

01:19:09no i i just want i think i spent my entire life pushing away the thought of my dad because

01:19:17it made

01:19:17it easier to digest you know the fact i didn't have one and now i'm so this last year with

01:19:22ordinary and

01:19:23everything in my life changing overnight i feel as if i i feel closer to my dad and i feel

01:19:29closer

01:19:29to my mom i feel like i i just want my dad you know and i think that's the hardest

01:19:34part is like you

01:19:35know i i want to read this letter and feel closer to him i want the other day i read

01:19:42a bunch of letters

01:19:42that he had written his best friend and i just i realized i write like him and i talk like

01:19:47him without

01:19:47ever actually being around him so i just want to be able to read that letter and and feel like

01:19:53i

01:19:53have a dad again which is sad but also um hopefully healing i think it's so beautiful that you've been

01:20:00able to take this passion of yours and also pour so much of yourself into it and um again i

01:20:08know like

01:20:09you've joked being like oh my gosh i always write about like my parents or all my situation or whatever

01:20:13but like again like it is so relatable this is these are real life things that all of us go

01:20:18through

01:20:18and there is no solve for losing a parent there is no you know happily ever after when you're grieving

01:20:26something and it doesn't go away in a month or a year like it stays with you forever but i

01:20:31think

01:20:31it's really inspiring to watch how you've been able to weave your passion and your art in a way

01:20:37that helps you heal but also simultaneously is allowing other people to heal like for your

01:20:43fans who are watching this like is there anything you hope that they either take from that specific

01:20:49song or any of the songs that will come out on the album i write the yes i want everyone

01:20:59especially

01:20:59with grief no one talks about it or everyone just kind of views it as something like to like shove

01:21:03off

01:21:03you don't want to be that person in the room you don't and everyone always is like oh it gets

01:21:06better

01:21:07and all these things and i say this all the time it gets manageable it's never going to get better

01:21:10you will always have that piece of you missing and there's going to be things that you remind you

01:21:14of them and it happens to me all the time but you start to if you start to push it

01:21:18away and you don't

01:21:19talk about it you don't consume things about it you don't talk about people you start to forget the way

01:21:23that they smell the way that they look the way that they sound and for me if i'm gonna have

01:21:28kids i want

01:21:29them to know who their grandparents were and so when i write these songs it's like logs of kind of

01:21:33like

01:21:34this is something where at least for me when i went through losing someone i had no idea what that

01:21:38felt

01:21:38like i had this feeling of this emptiness but i couldn't explain that feeling i couldn't there

01:21:43was no outlet for me to listen it to it or watch it and so when i make these songs

01:21:47i'm hoping people

01:21:48who've lost someone can listen that song and it allows them some sense of comfort it's almost like

01:21:52a blanket to hold but it doesn't necessarily make you warm it's beautiful it's it's um it's become

01:21:59bigger than you which is the goal i think whenever you're creating art right i love it when people

01:22:04play my song and they have no fucking idea it's me because that means it did something it went past

01:22:09whatever the fuck this is and it's also just been so fun to watch i think for so many people

01:22:13like

01:22:14your career and the trajectory and your story like we're all rooting for you and i think it's so fun

01:22:21even with the grammy moment it's like it was so in alex warren fashion right only that would happen to

01:22:28me i literally got off stage and i was like that only happened of course only of course because it's

01:22:32like

01:22:33you have been this like relatable tangible person since day one that you've been sharing your story

01:22:40on the internet and so of course like if something's gonna go wrong the best part is that like

01:22:44we all know you in a sense so it's not like you're this like untouchable character you're actually you're

01:22:50alex and we all are gonna like love you and cheer for you even if you mess up or something

01:22:55doesn't go

01:22:55right um but i'm so happy that i got to talk to you today because i obviously know you've had

01:23:01massive

01:23:02success but there's again always a story underneath and um i really appreciate you opening up to me

01:23:08today because i think a lot of your fans and my fans are going to just be so excited to

01:23:12hear this

01:23:12conversation not even a psychology degree nothing no that's impressive that's really impressive thank

01:23:18you so much for having me i i appreciate your time and congrats on all your success thank you thank

01:23:23you

01:23:23alex

01:23:26you

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