I Got Out of An Abusive Relationship

Call Her Daddy

I Got Out of An Abusive Relationship  Content Warning: This episode includes discussion of domestic violence, sexual assault, and abuse, as well as references to substance use. Please take care while listening.   Call her daddy, chd, daddy gang, call her daddy podcast, alex cooper, call, her, daddy, interview, podcast, unwell podcast, unwell, unwell network, alex, cooper  To honor International Women’s Day, Alex steps out of the studio for a special episode filmed at Harvest Home in Los Angeles, sitting down with Executive Director Sarah Wilson and Harvest Home alum Angie. Angie shares a personal story of how childhood trauma, abusive relationships, and opioid addiction eventually led her to experience homelessness while pregnant. Together, Alex, Sarah, and Angie discuss the realities of domestic violence, the risks of leaving an abuser, and how trauma can shape a woman’s sense of self-worth. They also talk about the power of women showing up for one another, the impact of true community, and how we can better support the women around us.   The most-listened to podcast by women, Alex Cooper’s Call Her Daddy has been creating conversation since 2018. From deep, honest discussions to laugh-out-loud moments, Cooper cuts through the BS with exciting guests and bold topics. New episodes drop every Wednesday, with throwback episodes every Friday. Want more? Join the Daddy Gang @callherdaddy.  Call Her Daddy,Alex Cooper,Father Cooper,Daddy Gang,Call Her Daddy Podcast,relationships,dating,comedy,funny,Alexandra Cooper,call,her,daddy,chd,call her daddy pod,podcast,interviews,call,her,daddy,podcast,interview,unwell,unwell network  From red carpet moments to behind-the-scenes fun, we bring you daily entertainment with fast updates and trending Bollywood stories. If you’re a true Bollywood lover, this channel is made just for you ❤️🎥  👉 Subscribe now and stay Crazy 4 Bollywood!   #Crazy4Bollywood #BollywoodNews #BollywoodGossip #BollywoodUpdates #BollywoodShorts #BollyBuzz #HindiCinema #BollywoodFans  Bollywood news, Bollywood gossip, celebrity spotted, Bollywood shorts, Hindi cinema, Bollywood updates, movie news, Bollywood viral videos

Transcript

00:00:00Hi, Daddy Gang. Before we get into today's conversation, I just want to share a content

00:00:06warning. This episode is going to include discussions of domestic violence, sexual

00:00:12assault, and abuse, as well as references to substance use. If you or someone you love

00:00:17need support, I have included resources in the show notes, so please take care while you are

00:00:24listening to this. Welcome to a very, very special Sunday session. I am so honored and grateful to

00:00:32be bringing you this episode today. For those who don't know, today, Sunday, March 8th, is

00:00:38International Women's Day, and I am really excited to use today as an opportunity to highlight some

00:00:45truly amazing and incredible women. I am going to be sitting down with two women who I have gotten

00:00:53to know through working with an organization called Harvest Home. I began working with Harvest

00:00:59Home pretty much immediately once I started the Unwell Foundation. I was looking to partner with

00:01:05groups that put women's issues first and centered conversation around mental health and provided

00:01:13necessary resources for underprivileged groups. International Women's Day feels like the perfect

00:01:18time to honor Harvest Home because this is an organization that really reflects what's possible

00:01:25when we as women show up for one another and find strength in leaning on each other. Harvest Home is

00:01:33a

00:01:34safe haven for women who are pregnant and experiencing homelessness. They open their doors to mothers and

00:01:41their children. They provide housing, therapy, financial programs, and so much more to equip these

00:01:48mothers with everything they need during an extremely vulnerable time in their life. From getting to know

00:01:57the stories of the mothers in Harvest Home, one thing I've found is so many of them are coming from

00:02:04unbelievably challenging situations, ones that are often out of their control. Many of them are survivors

00:02:12of domestic abuse. Many of them are breaking long cycles of generational trauma, and all of them are

00:02:21looking to put the health and safety of their children first. And so today we will be joined by Sarah,

00:02:28who is the executive director of Harvest Home, and by Angie, who is an alumni of Harvest Home that has

00:02:35offered to share her story with us. I hope through this conversation that we are all reminded that

00:02:43women supporting women isn't just this buzzy thing for us to throw around. It is something that can

00:02:49actually be transformative and powerful in its impact, whether it is your friend, your mother,

00:02:55your sister, your neighbor, your coworker. Every single woman in your life is navigating something

00:03:01that they could use support on. And just showing up for each other actually matters so much more

00:03:07than I think we even realize. So with that, I am at Harvest Home today, and I am so honored

00:03:15to be

00:03:15having this conversation, and I hope you will all enjoy it.

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00:04:58What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy.

00:05:07We are at Harvest Home today, and I'm joined by Angie and Sarah. Thank you guys so much for

00:05:12joining me, and welcome to Call Her Daddy. Thank you for having us. Okay, first, I just want to kick

00:05:18this off with you, Sarah. To someone who may not be familiar today with Harvest Home, could you give a

00:05:24little background of what this is? Absolutely. So Harvest Home is a nonprofit organization here in Los

00:05:32Angeles, and we work and serve unhoused pregnant women. So we have two homes here in LA where women

00:05:39come in, and we help them with all of the physical needs that they need to get back on their

00:05:44feet, but

00:05:44also really just helping them to be equipped with the tools that they need for motherhood.

00:05:50And what are the types of services that Harvest Home provides for women?

00:05:55Yeah, so first and foremost, the physical needs. Obviously, if someone's been living in the streets or

00:06:00coming out of instability, being able to have a safe space. And I do emphasize safe that it's not

00:06:06just, you know, being in a shelter. I think one of the things we really pride ourselves in is our

00:06:11homes feeling like home and women really feeling valued and supported and seen when they walk in

00:06:17our doors. And so providing that sense of physical safety in the home, but then all of the other

00:06:23things, you know, we provide healthy food and healthy meals. And because we are maternity focused,

00:06:29it's also everything you need for a healthy pregnancy. So we have, you know, all the classes

00:06:33that are necessary. We have doulas that come in. We have therapy on site. So really, you know, actually

00:06:41in my own journey to motherhood, I was like, oh, like this is expensive stuff. Like Harvest Home really

00:06:47does like provide a lot, you know, you're like, I could have used this. Oh, 100%. Yeah. And can you

00:06:52explain like what situations or dynamics would typically lead a woman to come to Harvest Home?

00:06:59It looks a little different for everybody. I would say the common thread is either experiencing

00:07:04homelessness, being unhoused, or some other type of housing instability. So sometimes it is a woman

00:07:10who's been like physically living on the street. Sometimes a woman's been in a car or more often

00:07:18than not, what we see is somebody who's been couch surfing, you know, from place to place. Maybe

00:07:22they wouldn't even have said they were experiencing homelessness until they're pregnant and realized

00:07:28like, oh, I need some stability. And also people and women who are walking away from unhealthy,

00:07:35unsafe relationships. So those are some of the biggest things we see.

00:07:39Angie, when did you first come to Harvest Home?

00:07:43I came to Harvest Home in 2023.

00:07:472023. And what do you guys remember about first meeting each other?

00:07:52I was really nervous at first, just because I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know

00:07:59how it was going to be because I had been in and out of so many programs, shelters and stuff.

00:08:04So I was

00:08:05just like, well, how is this going to be? So I was just really kind of meeting it with an

00:08:09open mind

00:08:10and gratitude, obviously, because I was coming from the street, you know, basically in a car,

00:08:15like she mentioned.

00:08:16And when you got here, what ended up being your first impression of Harvest Home?

00:08:22Man, how was that?

00:08:25A brush of breath there, you know?

00:08:27It was safety, comfort, and just being able to relax and sleep without being worried of I had

00:08:39to look behind my back or anything like that. I was safe in a place on a bed, stretched out

00:08:45fully,

00:08:45not in a car, you know? And I was just secure, you know, safe.

00:08:50Right. It's incredible to finally feel that in your life after probably feeling so unsafe for so

00:08:56long. Yeah. Sarah, through our work together, you have shared that domestic violence is the

00:09:04leading cause of homelessness for women. 80% of unhoused mothers have experienced domestic abuse.

00:09:11What are some early signs that a woman might be in an unsafe relationship?

00:09:18Such a good question. First and foremost, I think, is that their entire world revolves around

00:09:25this person. So often a relationship that is, you know, does have this abusive element to it,

00:09:33it may not start that way. You know, it starts maybe by feeling like you're that person's whole

00:09:40world. And, you know, it could be what some people think of like falling hard for somebody,

00:09:46right? Like you're their entire world. But then over time, you know, starting to isolate more

00:09:53from the relationships that you have, you know, in your life and starting more and more to maybe

00:10:00things that felt protective in the beginning, like, oh, this person is, you know, providing things for

00:10:06me or this person calls and checks in on me a lot. Like that feels so wonderful. But over time,

00:10:15you can see that those are actually like controlling or manipulative behaviors. I would

00:10:21say first, I would say though, more than anything, it's those early signs are more visible to people

00:10:27on the outside than they are often to a person inside of a relationship.

00:10:31Yeah, that's a great point. And how do you think pregnancy could impact when someone is experiencing

00:10:40an abusive relationship?

00:10:42Yeah, it's interesting. So there's actually been, you know, some research that has shown

00:10:47that domestic violence actually increases when a woman is pregnant. And, you know, it's wild to me

00:10:55to think about that. But if you think about it, if the relational dynamics are often about control,

00:11:03as someone who's experienced pregnancy, you have very little control of what's happening in your body.

00:11:08And I'm sure within the dynamics of the relationship, that, you know, that is present as well.

00:11:16Angie, was domestic violence a part of your story?

00:11:21A hundred percent. Yeah, absolutely. I think it shaped my whole history of relationships,

00:11:30because I had never experienced that until I did. And then when I did,

00:11:34it did such damage that I felt that's all I deserve, because I ended up believing what the

00:11:41person was telling me, you know?

00:11:43When was the first time that you experienced abuse or mistreatment from a man?

00:11:50I mean, we can say that since I was like five, really, you know, if we want to get into

00:11:58it.

00:11:58You know, that was mistreatment, you know, sexual abuse. That's mistreatment, right?

00:12:05So that's the first time I actually experienced it. But when I became conscious and aware and a

00:12:09willing participant to the relationship, that was when I was like 21.

00:12:13And did you ever feel like your childhood informed, maybe subconsciously, like some of the partners that

00:12:22you were choosing?

00:12:23Yeah, absolutely. A hundred percent. Since there was so much objectification and sexualization when

00:12:30I was a child, it made me believe that I had to be desirable to the opposite sex in order

00:12:39for me to

00:12:40feel worthy. Right. And I've discovered that through therapy and counseling over the years. But if

00:12:48you didn't want to fuck me, I didn't feel hot. Right. I didn't feel worthy. Can I curse? I'm

00:12:52sorry. Yes, yes, yes. You can curse. Do your thing, girl. Got you.

00:12:56If you didn't want to, you know, sleep with me, I didn't feel like I was good enough, you know?

00:13:01So that

00:13:03also branches off into separate things like self-image, issues, self-worth.

00:13:09You know, I can even develop eating disorders or anything like that. I developed a lot of anxiety.

00:13:14Um, so yeah, definitely my childhood, you know, shaped, um, the relationships that I got into.

00:13:24What was your first serious relationship like?

00:13:29Um, I was in high school and I was with him for like, I think two, three years. I lost

00:13:37my virginity

00:13:38to him. And, um, um, he was a little older and I was in high school still. So I was

00:13:45sneaking out of

00:13:46my house to go, uh, you know, spend time with him and go drink and smoke and do things that

00:13:54we were

00:13:55doing. And, um, you know, I, I, I started going towards like the older boys, you know, just because

00:14:04that felt like that's was comfortable. I felt, you know, like I had a way in. I'm sorry.

00:14:13No, it's, it's okay. I think, um, it's a very hard thing to describe as a woman. And I think

00:14:19I've

00:14:20spoken to so many women about being attracted to older men. There is almost back to what you were

00:14:26saying about, there is this desire. You feel worthy. You feel like I'm special. There's something

00:14:30about me that like, he wants me for a reason and I'm mature and I can hang out with them

00:14:36and I'm

00:14:36different. And so it does play into our insecurities as a young woman. Don't fault yourself for that.

00:14:43Cause there's so many women who get into those situations and you can, yes, look back now and be

00:14:47like, Oh my gosh, I could see it. But at the time you're just going off of your heart and

00:14:52what you

00:14:53felt. Yeah. Um, when you would, would, you know, find yourself in situations that you started to

00:15:00realize, okay, this is not healthy. This is abusive. I think abusers typically try to isolate and control

00:15:06their partners, right? You, you referenced that. Um, how was that personally for you showing up in

00:15:11relationships, Angie? So, um, I was already isolated from the jump because I had moved

00:15:17from California where I was born and raised and I had my family and graduated from high school.

00:15:24Everything that I knew was in California. So I moved to Washington state after my mom moved there.

00:15:29Um, so I was all alone. Right. And I started trying to meet new people and I met this person

00:15:36and I should

00:15:38have gone with my first gut instinct because my first gut instinct said, I don't really like how you do

00:15:45things. And I said, I don't want to fuck with you anymore. And he got really upset. Right. We didn't

00:15:51talk for like six months. I ran into him again and he approached me in a different way and he

00:15:57got me.

00:15:58I was like, Oh, maybe I was wrong about you. Right. But he played me like a little fiddle man.

00:16:05And, um,

00:16:07yeah, he approached me a whole different way. And, um, I was already isolated. I only had my mother

00:16:13there. Um, and then eventually she moved back home to Honduras and it was just me and him and I

00:16:21was

00:16:21away from everybody. So I only had the few little acquaintances that I had met throughout the first

00:16:28year there and my work people, companions and, um, coworkers and stuff. So, um, yeah,

00:16:39I felt like he was my everything because that's what I came home to. That's what I left. That's

00:16:45what I worked on. That's what I put all my time and effort into that relationship, his son and the

00:16:50household. Right. Because as a, um, in my culture, as I grew up, you know, really old school, you take

00:16:55care of the house, the children and the man. Right. And to an extent, I like being a little house

00:17:00mouse,

00:17:01you know, I really enjoy it. He took it too far though. Like, uh, to a point I felt like

00:17:07I was just

00:17:08his maid and sex servant pretty much, you know, when you were going through this isolated, difficult

00:17:18time, where would you turn to find relief from the pain and the anxiety that that relationship was

00:17:25causing you? Unfortunately, um, that's where my drug abuse started. Um, I didn't have anybody. Um,

00:17:36I didn't know the people that I met good enough to vent to. I couldn't tell my mom because I

00:17:43felt

00:17:43embarrassed and I felt like I would worry her and stress her out while she's in a different country.

00:17:49Um, so I remember I had gotten my wisdom tooth. It was pushing through and they prescribed me an

00:17:59obscene amount of Percocets. And when I took them, I was like, oh, this is great. I was like,

00:18:05he's yelling at me and talking smack and telling me the dishes aren't done or blah, blah, blah. And I'm

00:18:10like, okay, you know, just, you know, so that's what gave me relief. Unfortunately, that's what I had

00:18:15to lean on. You know, um, I felt like I didn't have anybody else besides the pills.

00:18:21And when did you realize that this had turned from a coping mechanism to a physical dependence

00:18:27for you? Oh boy. I remember that day clearly because it was snowing outside. Um, and I remember

00:18:37waking up and feeling like I had a cold and my body hurting and also my chest beating really hard.

00:18:45And I text my friend cause she's like, Hey, what are you doing? And I was like, I don't feel

00:18:48good.

00:18:49My nose is runny. I got the chills. I feel like I have a cold, you know, and I feel

00:18:53really anxious.

00:18:55And she's the one that said, she's like, well, maybe you're withdrawing. And I was like,

00:18:58what are you talking about? She's like, well, you've been, you know, you're withdrawing,

00:19:01you know, I think you need another pill. You'll probably feel better. And I was like, no,

00:19:05there's no way, you know, I was like, there's no way. And then when she put that into my head,

00:19:12then I started obsessing on that. And I was like, Oh my God, I need it because now my body

00:19:17is like

00:19:18asking for it. And then I started getting more anxious because I started obsessing on it.

00:19:22So then that triggered that like cycle.

00:19:26And I think something that you said about, you know, this essentially was a way for you to escape

00:19:34a form of this abuse. Like there was a numbing that when he was being abusive, you were able to

00:19:39kind of be in a different realm essentially because of these drugs. When you look back at that version

00:19:45of yourself, um, how do you think the way that you were treated by those type of romantic partners

00:19:50really, really impacted your confidence as a woman? I didn't have any, I didn't have any,

00:19:56I didn't have any self-worth. I felt like I was getting exactly like, Oh my God,

00:20:02I felt like I was getting exactly what I deserved. Um, because I ended up believing him, right?

00:20:08Believing them. And unfortunately our brain does this really weird thing that we stick to the negative

00:20:13more than the positives, right? We really, I have to really work on focusing on the positives more

00:20:19than the negatives. And at that point I didn't have the tools that I have today. Right. So looking

00:20:23back, um, yeah, it affected, I didn't have any confidence, you know, I didn't feel like I was worth

00:20:32diddly squat, you know? Yeah. Like, did you internalize, like, were there statements that he

00:20:38would say to you that stuck with you for a long time? Um, yeah, that I wasn't going to amount

00:20:47to

00:20:47anything and that, um, that I wasn't going to amount to anything and I was just going to end

00:20:54up a gutter rat and dead in a gutter or something like that. Something along those lines.

00:21:00Oh my God, Angie, I'm so sorry. And now look at you and where you are today.

00:21:05Not in a gutter.

00:21:07Girl, no, you are not. Um, you know, Sarah, I think even while we're speaking about this,

00:21:13um, the statistics say that women will go back to an abuser seven times before walking away

00:21:21for good. Why do you think it's so common to go back to abusive partners?

00:21:28Yeah, I think kind of thinking about that question of are women going back or is something drawing them

00:21:35back. Um, you know, Angie just spoke about how her identity and worth as a woman was so beat down

00:21:43that she didn't think she was worthy of anything better than that, right? And so, um, thinking about

00:21:49really the isolation and, and also, um, Angie hasn't really spoken to it, but the financial abuse is

00:21:58huge. You know, one way of isolating and, and, um, is, is essentially controlling finances, right?

00:22:04So if, if you don't have a pathway, if you don't have money, then if your option is living in

00:22:11a car

00:22:12or being back in the, you know, a house that's unsafe, maybe the house doesn't sound so bad at

00:22:18this point. Um, I can think of, we had a, um, a resident many years ago who was, um, her

00:22:25stepfather

00:22:26was her abuser and she actually viewed the abuse as just heartbreaking as he's not charging me any

00:22:33rent. And so these are the, the stories that we, you know, that women tell themselves, the stories

00:22:39that we tell ourselves that we think that it's, we're not worthy of anything more than this. And

00:22:45so, you know, the, what is that phrase? Like the devil, you know, is better than the devil. You don't

00:22:50like the known chaos being in that environment actually feels sometimes more safe than stepping

00:22:57out into something that's completely unknown. Right. Understandably a lot of women, it feels

00:23:02like the safer option to stay. Um, how does harvest home provide safety for women getting out of these

00:23:09really dangerous situations? Yeah. So, I mean, harvest home is, is not exclusively a domestic violence

00:23:16shelter, but often women coming in, you know, have had this experience. And so, I mean, the first

00:23:21thing is just making sure that both of our homes are confidential addresses. Um, all of our residents

00:23:28start out at our home in Venice. And we ask that no one disclose that location for like the first

00:23:3330

00:23:33to 60 days that they're in the program, because often what comes up is women don't even always

00:23:39recognize that they've been in an unsafe relationship. And so one of the very first things that we do,

00:23:44our group therapy actually at our Venice home, we do a curriculum, it's called seeking safety. And it

00:23:48is from a very basic fundamental place, being able to define what does safety look like. And the number

00:23:55of women who walk away from that course and go, Oh, I didn't realize one, I didn't realize I experienced

00:24:03that as a child. I didn't realize I watched my mom, every relationship she's ever been in, you know,

00:24:08just that. And so starting from a very foundational place of defining what safety looks like. Um, but

00:24:15then I think it's really is, is helping women, you know, Angie spoke to like, just feeling unworthy

00:24:21and starting from that place of, we believe in you, even before you believe in yourself. So helping

00:24:26women, you know, through therapy and through, you know, the classes that they're partaking in

00:24:32to really work on those core beliefs and those core wounds and to really, you know, kind of untie

00:24:41this knot of, I think often women think, well, even walking out of a relationship that's unsafe,

00:24:46it feels like, well, something's wrong with me, or I wouldn't have been there to begin with.

00:24:50And I know we just lightly touch on this, but I do want to get a little bit more into,

00:24:53I think there are people who have never experienced abuse before, you know, and it may be really hard

00:24:59for them to understand, like, but why wouldn't you just leave? Like, just leave. And I think

00:25:04that's like a common rhetoric we see often where people are like, okay, but she could have just

00:25:08left. Like, why did she stay? And it's so privileged to say that. And it's so not that simple for

00:25:15women.

00:25:17Angie, from your experience, could you shed some light on why it felt impossible to escape abusive

00:25:25situations you've been in? Absolutely. Sarah touched on it, financial abuse, right? Even though

00:25:32I had my finances, at some point or another, they try to take control, right? So all my finances were

00:25:39going into one account that I barely had access to, right? Also, you know, maybe the vehicles,

00:25:47you know, I didn't get, I didn't have my own vehicle, um, or also, um, the self-worth,

00:25:54you know, um, I felt like I couldn't do any better. I couldn't do it by myself. I needed him

00:26:02for some

00:26:02reason. Um, um, I, I felt like I couldn't possibly succeed on my own because he said it so much,

00:26:13you know, and I ended up believing it, like I said. So like my spirit, my motivation, my, um,

00:26:21confidence, my self-worth was just crushed, you know? And I don't think that people, um,

00:26:30realize how much verbal abuse has an impact on people. I've, I would rather get punched than

00:26:37verbally abused because the punches just kind of, they wear off, right? But the words,

00:26:43have such a deeper cut, you know, especially when they're met with such, um, hate and their,

00:26:51uh, personality and they're in the way that they say it, you know, or how they're talking to you in

00:26:57such a derogatory way. It has such a weight, you know, that, um, I felt like for myself,

00:27:04it just cut me deeper than anything could ever do. And it just made it that much harder to leave,

00:27:12you know, because there's so many unknowns, right? Like, well, if I leave, like, am I going to be

00:27:19able to make it financially? If I leave, am I going to meet somebody worse? If I leave,

00:27:23am I going to be alone for the rest of my life? If I leave, um, will I ever feel

00:27:29like myself? You know,

00:27:30will I ever heal? Will I ever, um, be better, you know? So there's just so much unknowns and,

00:27:38and the, the, the feeling and the pressure of the unknown and the change is so scary sometimes that

00:27:44we rather sit in the misery because it's comfortable and it's familiar, you know,

00:27:51just like Sarah was kind of touching on.

00:27:53And I feel like from people I've also interviewed, I think that there's

00:27:57verbal abuse and physical abuse. There's an element of brainwashing that happens because

00:28:03it's like your whole reality is distorted because you are isolated, because you are alone,

00:28:08because this person is in a position of power and they are abusing you day in and day out.

00:28:15You slowly, your sense of self is chipped away at, and then you are kind of beholden to this person.

00:28:20So when people from the outside are like, but she could have just left, what upsets me about that

00:28:25is there's so much emphasis put on why didn't the woman do something about it? And the question

00:28:31isn't, why did he not stop abusing her? Why was he not put in jail? Why was he not taking

00:28:36care of?

00:28:37Why is it always on the woman to fix the problem when the problem is actually the man? Angie,

00:28:43can you walk me through the year of your life before entering Harvest Home? Like what was going on?

00:28:51Can you tell me the full story?

00:28:53Um, so the year before I came into Harvest Home, um, I had relapsed and I had been hiding my,

00:29:03uh, use for the last year. Um, I was working, you know, I had a little job. I was seeing

00:29:11my son on the

00:29:11side, my oldest. Um, and I was just kind of in really an unstable environment, you know?

00:29:22Um, can you explain what that was?

00:29:25Oh, so I was in an unstable environment because I kept coming in and out of programs. Right.

00:29:30So, um, I couldn't stay clean long enough, you know, to get my own place. And, um, I was in

00:29:38and

00:29:38out of treatments, you know, so that was really unstable. Um, I was really trying, you know,

00:29:44cause I really wanted to get my son back. And even though there wasn't like a custody order or

00:29:49anything official on paper or through the courts, um, I wanted to be reunited back with him.

00:29:54But yeah, that was, that's what kept pushing me to keep trying. Right. But you know, after several

00:29:59overdoses and in and out of treatment, sober livings, um, it was, I was just not stable enough

00:30:05to be able to care for him or give him a good life for him to thrive because I wasn't

00:30:10even thriving.

00:30:11Right. So, um, before I came to Harvest Home, I was, like I said, in, in out of treatment, um,

00:30:19my current partner at the time, um, he, you know, kept, you know, kept trying to help me. He just

00:30:25didn't know how. Um, so he would, you know, encourage me to go to treatment and, um, show up

00:30:31at treatments where I was at and be there for me and be consistent and be, you know, supportive.

00:30:37And he believed in me, you know? So I found out I was pregnant. Um, I was in my addiction.

00:30:45I could not stop. I wanted to stop. And I would pray every night crying, you know, that I, I,

00:30:52I was scared that I was hurting my baby and I just couldn't stop, you know? So then, um,

00:31:01he's like, I think you should go back to treatment. Right. And I run away. So that's how I ended

00:31:08up

00:31:08sleeping in a car, you know, out on the street, um, for a few weeks. And then, um, I knew

00:31:15something

00:31:16had to change, you know? So I started Googling places. Uh, I was too far along to go into detox

00:31:22without risk of losing my son. And then I was too far along to go into a treatment. Right. And,

00:31:29uh, nobody else would take me. So then, uh, I found harvest home. I called them, I did the

00:31:35interview and then I was really hoping that, you know, they would call me back and they called me

00:31:39back the next day with an in-person interview. And then they interviewed me in person and the

00:31:44person that interviewed me. Um, it was such like a spiritual thing. Like every time I talk about it,

00:31:51I always cry because I remember being so desperate for help and, um, so desperate for God, you know,

00:32:03and guidance that, um, I think it just put me exactly where I needed to be because she ended up

00:32:09just praying for me out of nowhere, you know? And, um, I was so grateful for that. Um,

00:32:19because that kind of kickstarted, uh, a much deeper relationship that I have with my God,

00:32:25you know? And, um, that's how I got into harvest home. You know, I think I was like, what, six,

00:32:32six and a half months pregnant or so. And, um, um, I got into the Venice house and, um,

00:32:42you know, I was doing counseling and therapy and, um, all these classes that I had to do just to

00:32:49make

00:32:49sure that I had all my ducks in a row. Cause I was terrified that they're going to take my

00:32:53baby away

00:32:54because I had drugs in my system. Right. And, um, I don't know, like, since I was a little girl,

00:33:04like I always played with my baby dolls and being a mom, you know, and playing house. And, um,

00:33:10that's all I wanted to be a mom, you know? So I was scared that they were going to take

00:33:15my son away.

00:33:15So I tried to be proactive. No, I did. I was proactive, you know, with everything that I was

00:33:20doing, uh, my counseling, uh, my, uh, medications, my therapy, my, um, psychiatrist, everything and

00:33:28everything I was just taking care of. I was in and out of that Venice house like crazy. And of

00:33:34course

00:33:34he comes early when I'm totally unprepared. I had nothing. I literally had nothing. Right. And I came

00:33:42home one day to my room in Venice and there was like this big bassinet with all kinds of baby

00:33:48clothes.

00:33:54with all kinds of baby clothes and bottles and like, um, bibs and, um, everything that I didn't have

00:34:03that I needed, you know, I was so grateful. Um, cause he came early and, uh, you know, they were

00:34:14telling

00:34:15me that there might be some risks of him, like withdrawing them, you know, from birth. And I

00:34:20had heard so many stories from being in and out of the rooms of NA, um, you know, you hear

00:34:26stories

00:34:26and you hear people of their babies, like, you know, being addicted and growing, you know, withdrawing

00:34:31when they were born. And I was praying every night in my room that he would be okay.

00:34:40And by the grace of God, he didn't experience one single symptom.

00:34:44Oh my God. Wow. Oh my gosh, Angie.

00:34:50He was a whole month early, no withdrawals, no breathing problems, no stomach problems, nothing.

00:34:57I knew I would never, ever touch another drug in my life.

00:35:00Wow. Like he had given me such a miracle and such proof of his presence that I was like,

00:35:07I'm never turning back. I'm always going to go forward and I'm not going to give this gift

00:35:12up ever, you know, because I didn't care for my life. Of course, you know, because I was just

00:35:17doing such reckless things during my addiction, but he was born and nothing happened. I was just

00:35:24like never again. Such a blessing. Wow. I, um, thank you for sharing that story because even just

00:35:34you talking about that, it's, and I'm sure everyone watching and listening, like I can see

00:35:42understandably how hard you were being on yourself because you have this baby coming,

00:35:46but to hear the beginning of your story and how this man beat down your confidence so intensely,

00:35:54how he was abusing you, how you were in this really, really horrible situation to the point

00:36:01where it drove you one day after getting that surgery to be like, oh my gosh, this alleviates

00:36:06that pain. And I don't want to live in this pain of being abused. And then this cycle just,

00:36:10it continued. And then now to see where you're sitting here today, like you are a fighter that

00:36:17got through that abuse. And so many of these things that happened to you were because of

00:36:22what he put you through. Um, and how beautiful that you were able now to give your child this

00:36:29better life. And it's because of you. It's not because of him. It's because of you and the work

00:36:35that you did on yourself. It's incredible when someone in Angie's position does reach out looking

00:36:42for that immediate help. What does the intake process look like? Yeah. So she mentioned our

00:36:49Venice home. So we have all of our new residents enter in through our home in Venice and, you know,

00:36:56it's, it, we first just do an interview to make sure they're okay. Make sure they're, they're safe.

00:37:02Do they have a place where they're able to be for the immediate future, right? For the next couple

00:37:07of days until we're able to, to bring them in. Um, but it really is just a conversation of like

00:37:13where, you know, what is happening in your life? What are the needs that you have? What are the

00:37:17goals that you have? How can we support you in those things? And really the, the entire design of

00:37:25our, our home in Venice is really just providing a place for women to feel safe and to stabilize. And

00:37:30so

00:37:30our goal is to help women, you know, come in as quickly as possible. Um, it is kind of funny

00:37:35because, um, you know, the things that typically within our process, like, well, we're not a domestic

00:37:40violence shelter, even though we show, we serve a lot of women who are walking out of that experience

00:37:44or through that experience and we're not rehab, you know, and it's, it's really funny to me that

00:37:49in both of those situations for Angie, like that is, you know, you weren't actively in a domestic

00:37:55violence situation when you, when you came to Harvest Home. Um, but, but to me, it just,

00:38:01it shows how important it is to, um, to take a risk on people and believe in them. Right. And

00:38:09this

00:38:09woman has just, it's just so amazing. All of it. She's like walked through and accomplished in the

00:38:14last couple of years. So Angie, um, I know obviously you started in the first Venice location and then you

00:38:20eventually became a long-term resident at Harvest Home. How did that feel and how did it go?

00:38:28Um, it was a little scary at first, you know, just cause, um, there's more people in this house

00:38:35cause it's bigger. Right. And, um, but as far as like the, you know, dealing with the baby,

00:38:41I was already kind of in a routine cause he came early. I actually had him at the Venice house

00:38:46when he was supposed to be here, you know, they move us here before we have our babies and, um,

00:38:53he just wanted to come. So he was early. Um, but when I came here, um, you know, I was

00:39:00already kind

00:39:00of ready, uh, you know, in a routine of, of the baby. Right. But then when I started doing the

00:39:05groups

00:39:05with the other moms and the other babies and seeing each other's process and, um, progress and process

00:39:12with the babies and, you know, being able to bounce off like concerns and ideas and like,

00:39:18you know, just kind of check in on each other. I'm like, Hey, I heard you had a rough night

00:39:22last

00:39:22night. Cause you know, I, I was up to, you know, like, are you okay? And like, yeah, I'm good.

00:39:27You

00:39:27know, or, you know, just kind of being there for each other because as a new mom, not everybody

00:39:34understands unless you've been through it or you're in it, you know what I mean? And, uh,

00:39:40a lot of my friends and support groups support system, you know, their children are older,

00:39:45you know, so they're not in the infant toddler stages. Right. So having somebody to be, you know,

00:39:53in with it, you know, like we're in it together, we're, we're doing this thing together. We're,

00:39:58you know, we're doing it at the same time. It just gives you kind of like more confidence and

00:40:03like strength to do. So I was like, well, if she can do it, I can do it. Right. Kind

00:40:06of like

00:40:07bouncing off of each other. And I've met so many wonderful women in here, like with just

00:40:13such big caring hearts. It's just a blessing, you know, and to see their children grow and

00:40:20to see them grow with their children, like as a mother, as a woman, as whatever they're

00:40:27doing in their field. It's so cool, you know, to see them blossom to who they really are, especially

00:40:35from hearing their stories of where they came from, you know, it's just like, yeah, girl, get

00:40:42it, you know, like that's right. No, it's obviously, I think there's nothing more powerful than

00:40:47community through women to uplift each other. Can you remember a time where another woman

00:40:53here really helped you through a difficult time during those first initial months of, you

00:40:59having your son? Yeah. I think I really do well on praise, right? I found that out. I think

00:41:11everybody does to an extent. And I remember this woman was so genuine with her admiration

00:41:20towards me, I guess is the word, that it made me feel so good that I wanted to keep doing

00:41:27better. You know what I mean? And she was so like, you're so strong. I always see you,

00:41:33you're on top of your stuff and you're in and out and you're always busy and you're always

00:41:37doing something. And I know that if you can do it, I can do it. She's like, I always looked

00:41:43up to you. And she is just such a sweet, sweet, kind, loving person that I gravitated toward

00:41:52her too because she was so strong. And even her story too, she was just, she's the gentlest

00:41:58woman I think I've ever met, you know? And she helped me a lot through a lot of times that

00:42:05she probably doesn't even know that I was struggling mentally. And she would just come

00:42:09up to me and tell me random little things. She's like, damn, she's like, I really admire

00:42:14how you do A, B, and C, you know? And she probably has no idea that like that helped me

00:42:21so much.

00:42:22And also hearing Angie from the years that you experienced the complete opposite of people

00:42:29telling you, you weren't worthy and you weren't going to amount to certain things like to have

00:42:35other women that have no agenda other than just being honest, being like, I recognize these beautiful

00:42:42parts of you. How amazing then you are internalizing those finally for the first time in a long time.

00:42:48And you deserve to internalize those because they're accurate to who you are as a woman.

00:42:53How do you think when you look back at your time at Harvest Home, did your confidence shift from what

00:42:58we did initially talk about where it was you didn't have that confidence at all?

00:43:02Oh, boy. It's a complete 180. I still struggle, you know, with my little negative talk.

00:43:09Uh, but yeah, like, because, you know, Harvest Home, like, we cook for each other, right? Like,

00:43:19we cook like once a week for each other. And, um, I forgot how much I love to do that,

00:43:24right? So,

00:43:25like, certain little things that they implement here in the program that kind of reawaken some

00:43:31things in you, right? Like, whether it's exercising or crafts or cooking or, um, just being with the

00:43:37littles, you know? And, um, I think the cooking really helped me get into that a lot because

00:43:44it's such a love language for me. Like, I've always loved cooking and I love cooking for everybody else.

00:43:50So, like, that made me feel so capable. And the kitchen makes me feel in control, you know,

00:43:57because I know what I'm doing with these things and I know what the timing of everything is. Like,

00:44:02so it's my, my little center of control, right? Like, I can't control anything else,

00:44:06but I can control how this dinner is going to look, right? So, um, that helped me a lot personally,

00:44:13you know, the cooking, especially, you know, when everybody enjoyed it and they weren't faking it,

00:44:19you know? So that was even the best thing. Like, I remember one of the girls was, um,

00:44:24she, when I first, the first meal I cooked, I think it was like a marry me chicken

00:44:28or something like that. And she's like, dang, that chicken was fire. And she had never talked

00:44:33to me before, right? She was like, chicken was fire. She's like, and that rice was perfect. I was

00:44:37like, I've been making rice since I was like eight, you know? And, um, so that felt really good,

00:44:43you know? So I was just like, okay, well I'll keep cooking, you know? And then every time I cook,

00:44:47no complaints, you know? And it was, um, that made me feel really capable.

00:44:52And it makes me so happy for you because you did say, you know, in that, those relationships you had,

00:44:58you were supposed to take care of that household and you were cooking for these men and it wasn't met

00:45:03with anything of thank yous or appreciation. And so the fact that you do have such a love for it,

00:45:10but you probably lost that love because it came with control and fear. You now got to reassociate

00:45:16something you love so much and have people be not only just enjoying your food, but also giving you

00:45:22thanks for something that you put a lot of hard work into, which is beautiful.

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00:47:19straight to your door. Check app for availability. Delivery fees may apply. And Sarah, could you talk

00:47:25about some of the ways that Harvest Home puts a focus on the community for the women? I know you

00:47:30guys

00:47:30just talked about the nightly dinners. There is group therapy. What impact do you see from these

00:47:36resources? Yeah, absolutely. I do think that the relationship building is kind of sometimes people

00:47:42are like, what's the secret to your sauce? Like you have really strong outcomes and see so many

00:47:47women being successful. And it really is that communal relationship building and certainly among the

00:47:54residents, but also from our staff. We have such a caring staff that truly sees the women here as

00:48:02valuable and worthy and capable and just has such vision for their goals to come to fruition. And so

00:48:09I think that's so amazing. But on the community relationship side, so that nightly dinner, so every

00:48:16night, Monday through Friday, six o'clock, our residents sit down and share a meal together. And I would

00:48:24say the number, I mean, Harvest Home is 40 years old. Like the piece of feedback that I feel like

00:48:29is

00:48:29most consistent is how stabilizing and normalizing just that nightly dinner practice was. And just,

00:48:38I mean, the number of women who have said like, I thought that was just on TV. Like people actually

00:48:43do this and then moving out on their own. And like, they're like, I have a toddler and I'm still

00:48:48cooking my nightly dinner, you know, for my toddler. And so that, but what I love is you could literally

00:48:53go to

00:48:53that dinner on a Monday and everybody's mood and energy would be one way. And on the Tuesday,

00:48:58it's like completely opposite end of the spectrum, you know, nobody talks or whatever. But that,

00:49:03isn't that what real life feels like? Isn't that what family feels like that we feel safe? We can

00:49:08show up in our home however we need to, just as we are. And so that, and then every night,

00:49:14Monday through Friday, we have classes as well. And so we mentioned the group therapy. But each of those

00:49:20times, they're just times for women to connect. They're, they're building skills. They're learning,

00:49:25you know, new things. But I think what it solidifies over and over again is I'm not alone.

00:49:30Like there's other people who are walking through this same thing. And, and then, you know, like Angie

00:49:36mentioned, like it's the, the moments in the kitchen in the morning where like two bleary eyed women are

00:49:40like, I heard your kid last night, you heard my kid, you know? And, um, those things are just like,

00:49:46oh gosh, these postpartum bodies, like, whoa, I'm didn't expect this to happen. You know, just,

00:49:51um, I, I actually think that, um, after my own like experience becoming a mother, realizing how

00:49:58isolating in general, the experience of becoming a parent can be. Um, and so what a gift it is to

00:50:06really be able to, I mean, I consider it such a gift to be able to have community with our

00:50:12residents

00:50:12here and it's just, you know, it's, it's really wonderful. It is really beautiful. Um, you know,

00:50:18when we volunteered here, seeing these women, the way they interact with each other, the respect that

00:50:24they have for each other, um, the community that you have built here and you have built here with

00:50:30all these women, it is really inspiring. Um, you know, Angie, I know eventually, obviously you

00:50:37left harvest home because you were ready for independent living, but after years and years of

00:50:44being put down by these romantic partners and experiencing abuse, how did the positivity of

00:50:50harvest home change your outlook for what your future could look like when you were ready to leave?

00:50:57When I left, um, I was still really nervous, but I felt more grounded. I felt more capable. I felt

00:51:04more

00:51:04sure of myself as a mother. Right. So next I had to work on all the other areas, right? Like

00:51:10I had to

00:51:11get my foot back in the door of like school, uh, to get, you know, where I wanted to go.

00:51:17Um,

00:51:18and it gave me the confidence to do it. You know, it gave me the confidence to actually be like,

00:51:23yeah, I can do that instead of like, Oh no, I don't know if I can, or making excuses because

00:51:28I'm good

00:51:28at making excuses for myself, you know, or no, I have a kid or, Oh no, I can't do it

00:51:33with my son or,

00:51:34blah, blah, blah. No harvest home gave me the, uh, confidence to say I can do this and that and

00:51:42more, you know what I mean? And I did like, I was able to go to school. I, I finished

00:51:48my course as a,

00:51:49uh, peer support specialist, you know, medical peer support specialist. Um, and I'm going to take

00:51:55my state exam soon, you know, and I'll be working in the field soon. I'm not sure where I'm going

00:52:00to

00:52:00end up at, but I'm confident that it'll be okay. I'm not terrified by the future and I'm not like

00:52:07super scared about it, you know? So it gave me like a good footing. It gave, uh, our relationship

00:52:15a good footing to start off on and to continue to seek help, which we have, you know, me and

00:52:21my

00:52:21partner have, he's in counseling. He does his therapy. I do my counseling. I do my therapy.

00:52:28We keep up on our, uh, on our agendas, you know, like we, we do things differently. We hear each

00:52:34other out. It's the healthiest relationship I've been in. We've had our ups and downs, but that

00:52:39wouldn't have been possible, you know, without the experience that I had here, without the therapy,

00:52:44the classes, the, the hope, you know, the hope that I got here, you know, that the courage, the

00:52:52they believe, like she said, they believed in me before I did in myself, right? They loved on me

00:52:59until I could love on myself because I'm always the one to love everybody else. And I forget to fill

00:53:05up my own cup, you know? And, um, they're always on, what are you doing for yourself? What are you

00:53:14going to do for you today? You know? And they always bring me back to self, right? Because

00:53:18that's where it starts. That's where everything begins within me. You know, um, it's been invaluable,

00:53:26you know? Um, now I have my own two bedroom. Now I have both of my kids full time, you

00:53:34know,

00:53:34and including my oldest. And I've been fighting to get my oldest and I finally have him, you know,

00:53:40he's nine years old and he's finally with me. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just so happy that he's with me.

00:53:46I'm so happy for you. How did that feel when you finally got custody of both of your boys?

00:53:54Um, surreal. I was fighting for it and it just happened in an instant, you know? And I was just

00:54:01so happy. And, uh, you know, we're building our, we're starting to build our routine, you know,

00:54:08we're starting to build our little schedule, uh, with my son, you know, the old, my, my oldest

00:54:14Draven. And, um, he seems so happy there, you know, he never wanted to go home anyways in the,

00:54:21and when he did come and visit, you know, and, um, that's why I got the two bedroom, you know,

00:54:28to be able to have the space for both of them. And I want to give them what I never

00:54:32had, you know,

00:54:33I want them to be able to have their voice. I want there, be able them to have a choice

00:54:38in what

00:54:39they want to do. I want them to feel safe to come to me, to tell me anything. Right. And

00:54:44I've been

00:54:45practicing that with my oldest because through the transition between coming with me and coming from

00:54:52his dad, you know, it's, there's a difference, you know, and there's some, you know, issues in

00:54:57between that we're, you know, kind of smoothing out in the process, but I just love that

00:55:08I'm present enough today that I'm here enough today as my whole self to be able to be there for

00:55:16my son. Like my mom tried, you know, and she did the very best she could. And I love my

00:55:24mother,

00:55:24but today we have more tools. We have more knowledge. Um, we have more information, right?

00:55:32So, um, I want to carry all of that into, I want to pour all of that into my son

00:55:38and I want to,

00:55:39you know, make him realize what Harvest Home made me realize you are enough. You are worthy. You can do

00:55:47whatever you want, you know? So to be able to pour what they poured into me, into my children

00:55:53means a lot to me because it's done a lot for me. And I want that for my kids, you

00:56:00know?

00:56:00Well, they are very lucky boys. They have a very strong mother who has fought so hard to be able

00:56:08to be present for them and be there and change the course of your history and, you know,

00:56:16transgenerational trauma and what your mom went through and who you are today. Like that takes

00:56:21strength and that takes true effort. It takes pain. It takes time. It is not easy. I think a lot

00:56:28of people think, Oh, well then just get better, just get better. And it's like, it is, this is

00:56:32for the rest of your life. Like we have to work on ourselves for the rest of our life and

00:56:37it can

00:56:37either be scary or you can embrace it. And it's so clear that you have embraced this part of your

00:56:43life

00:56:43and it's going to change yours and your family's lives, which is so beautiful. I also think in

00:56:50wrapping up one of the last things I do want to emphasize, because I think this is so applicable to

00:56:55everyone who will watch this episode is the power of women and community. And obviously there's a lot

00:57:03of times where women can feel pitted against each other and we can feel like there's competition in a

00:57:08room, but harvest home. And your story today is such a testament to when we do come together as

00:57:16women, how powerful it can be and how we can actually get ourselves out of these horrible

00:57:21situations that we should have never had to have been in, in the first place, but it happens. Um,

00:57:27if you guys have any advice, maybe for people listening, if someone is, you know,

00:57:33watching and they have a friend who is in a toxic or abusive relationship right now,

00:57:39how can a friend be there to support their friend through that time? Like what's the right way to do

00:57:45that in your opinion? Keep showing up. That's what I would say. Um, the, you know, you touched on that

00:57:52number of how many times it takes for someone to actually walk away. Um, also shared early on in our

00:57:58conversation about how isolating, you know, those, those unsafe relationships can feel and, um, keep

00:58:06showing up, just keep showing up. Don't always, and it doesn't, every conversation it's to what Angie

00:58:13just spoke of, of wanting her children to feel safe coming to her, be the person that people feel

00:58:19safe coming to without judgment, without shame, without harping on the boyfriend or the person all the

00:58:26time, be the safe person, keep showing up. Yeah. Angie, do you have any advice that you wish you

00:58:34could go back and share with your former self? Um, don't go with that guy. Don't do it. Um, listen

00:58:44to

00:58:44your gut. Uh, definitely that, um, trust myself more, right? Trust your gut, trust your instinct,

00:58:52trust who you are, right? Because when somebody shows you who they are, believe them the first

00:58:59time, trust yourself, listen to yourself, but trust who you are as a woman, you know, trust who,

00:59:05what you want, what you don't want, what you tolerate, what you don't tolerate, trust that

00:59:11don't budge for anybody or anything. That's what I would tell myself. It is so beautiful that you

00:59:19are at a place where you can be sitting on this couch and giving advice to women, right? Who

00:59:25may be in a position where you were years ago. Like, how does that feel?

00:59:30Uh, I, uh, I have no words, honestly. Um, I never thought I would be here because I believed that

00:59:38for

00:59:38so long that I was going to die a gutter junkie. You know, I believed that for so, so long.

00:59:44So now that,

00:59:45um, I'm here today, it's surreal. I still don't know how to feel. Um, I'm sure I'm awake. That

00:59:53hurt. Um, like pinch myself. Yeah. We're good. Yeah. Um, it's just surreal, you know, and, um,

01:00:00I'm so glad that my, um, my friends were right. You know, like my biggest asset is my story and

01:00:08my

01:00:08story is the biggest thing that can help somebody else. And for like a long time, I'd be like, I

01:00:14don't

01:00:14have anything to say. I don't have anything worth blah, blah, blah. Again, that's just my, um, my

01:00:20little negative side talking. And I, you know, we put work, I've put work into that, into just

01:00:27kind of brushing it off. Be like, that's not true. You know, like, um, so those positive affirmations,

01:00:33the confidence building, the, um, it takes some effort. It takes some time. It feels weird at first,

01:00:39but it's worth it because now, like, I believe it and I don't believe the negative anymore.

01:00:44I don't focus on the negative. I believe I, I focus on the positives, you know, like those

01:00:49little glimmers during the day. Um, I start my day with a gratitude list. I start my day with prayer.

01:00:55I start my day with the, um, the verse of the day, you know, and, um, that's how I start

01:01:02my day with

01:01:03gratitude, you know, like an attitude of gratitude. And that's, um, what's helped me so much because,

01:01:09I came from nothing, you know, I have never had a stable place in my life for more than like

01:01:16a year until recently, you know, I've moved so much. So now that I'm stable with my kids in my

01:01:27own

01:01:27place with my name on it, right. I have the keys for it. They're mine. You know, it's just amazing.

01:01:34You know, um, it feels so good, you know, to be able to tell my kids, like, this is our

01:01:42home.

01:01:43Nobody can get mad at me and say, get out. Nobody can tell me I'm done with you. Get out.

01:01:49You know, I'm the boss. I'm the one that has that. It's my house. Right. So it's our house with

01:01:58my

01:01:58kids, of course, but I, it's my house. Let's go. Right. I have it decorated how I want to. I

01:02:04clean

01:02:04it how I want to. I organize it how I want to. And, uh, my partner just says, yes, which

01:02:11he's

01:02:11the best for. He's like, you know what, babe? Sure. Yeah. Do your thing. And you deserve that.

01:02:16Your story is so inspiring. And I'm so happy for you to hear how we, you know, you started to

01:02:25where

01:02:25you are now. Again, it's just a testament to like you did that. Um, and obviously Harvest Home had

01:02:31such an impact. Sarah, if someone is listening who wants to support Harvest Home, what is the best

01:02:38way for them to get involved? Yeah, absolutely. Well, if you're here in LA, um, we would love to

01:02:44have folks join us as any way they're ready to step in. Honestly, volunteers. I think that's another

01:02:49relational aspect we didn't really talk about of just when women have been isolated and people

01:02:55show up and say like, Hey, we want to support you. We're here to help just how much that speaks

01:02:59people you don't even know. And so we have opportunities to volunteer, certainly always

01:03:03opportunities for people to, to support financially. Um, and so, yeah, well, I'm sure our website will be

01:03:10in the show notes or something, but, um, if people are not, you know, in Los Angeles, find a place

01:03:15locally to show up and, and serve and, you know, be of support to others. So, yeah, I cannot

01:03:22thank you both enough for sharing your story today for informing us on what Harvest Home can do. And

01:03:30again, like if you're not in Los Angeles, there's so many other places like this that are changing

01:03:34women's lives. And I am so inspired and I know that your story is going to reach so many people

01:03:40and touch so many people in a way that, you know, we don't know who's going to listen to this

01:03:46and it

01:03:46could inspire them to literally that day call for help. And you did that today. And so thank you so

01:03:52much, Angie, for being vulnerable. I know this can be intimidating with cameras and all the things

01:03:57you were a pro. Thank you so much. And I think this was a perfect way to celebrate international

01:04:02women's day. So thanks ladies. Thank you for having us. Thank you so much. Okay. Daddy gang. I hope this

01:04:09episode was as meaningful for you as it was for me. Um, as women, our community with each other is

01:04:16vital to our success in this world. That is a fact. And when we choose to meet each other with

01:04:21kindness and sensitivity, instead of judgment, the impact can be genuinely life-changing as we just

01:04:27heard today. Um, to anyone watching today who saw parts of themselves in Angie's story, I want you to

01:04:34know that you are not alone, whether you are struggling with an abusive relationship or unstable

01:04:40living situation, or maybe you're just in a really challenging time of your life. You deserve support.

01:04:46You deserve compassion. There are so many resources out there that literally exist because you should

01:04:52not have to navigate this without community in the show notes. I have included contact information for

01:04:58the national women's shelter network, the national domestic violence hotline, the

01:05:04rape abuse and incest national network and the crisis texting line. If any of those could be

01:05:10helpful to you, I highly encourage you to reach out. And for those watching and listening who are in a

01:05:18position to give back, there are a ton of ways to get involved with both yes, harvest home and the

01:05:24unwell foundation. I can put more information in the show notes, um, whether it's financial support or

01:05:30volunteering, truly anything helps to make an impact. So I love you guys so much. And I am so grateful

01:05:39that we got to share this together today. Go call your girlfriends, check in on your loved ones.

01:05:46And remember that the community of women around you truly is everything. Daddy gang,

01:05:53I will see you guys on Wednesday. Love you. Bye.

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