00:00People often think that the most dangerous phase in a relationship is when couples are fighting all the time.
00:05But honestly, that's usually not the moment that worries me the most.
00:09I'm Melissa DeVars Thompson. I'm a licensed couple therapist.
00:12The phase that makes me pay attention is much quieter.
00:16It's when couples stop bringing things up altogether.
00:19No more arguments, no more difficult conversations, no more, can we talk about something?
00:24On the surface, it can look calm, but underneath, it often means that something else is happening.
00:30One person has started to shut down emotionally.
00:33They stop trying to repair things. They stop trying to ask for change.
00:37They stop believing that any conversation will lead anywhere.
00:41When that happens, the relationship slowly shifts into distance.
00:45Not usually explosive conflict, just quiet disconnection.
00:49In my experience, when someone is still arguing with you, there's usually still hope in the room.
00:55They still care enough to keep trying to be heard.
00:57But when someone stops reaching altogether, that's the moment that couples need to pay attention.
01:03Because relationships don't usually fall apart in one big moment.
01:08They slowly drift when people stop turning towards each other.
01:12The earlier couples notice that shift, the easier it is to find their way back.
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