- 12 minutes ago
The Madison Season 1 Episode 5
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00:05Previously on the Madison
00:10He wanted to be buried here
00:11There's a spot marked on a map
00:14I know the spot
00:15I can't remember his face
00:17If I were you, I wouldn't listen
00:20Play it
00:22Jesus!
00:23Hold on!
00:25Right!
00:26Stacy!
00:28Oh my god
00:30I'm gonna die
00:33As much as I like sitting here
00:34It hurts more than you'll ever know
00:36So if you're wondering how I feel about you
00:38I feel enough to sit here and take it
00:40Abby, if I were you
00:42I would set my hooks pretty deep in that one
00:45They're not making any more men like him
00:52I wonder if you know how happiness would make him
00:57It would fill his heart
00:59Tomorrow, we bury them
01:05I would like to say that
01:07But I know I know that
01:09I mean, but I'm going to move it
01:12So if I know him
01:16I can't believe it
01:16But I don't know if I'm
01:18I don't know if I'm thinking
01:18Or if I'm thinking
01:29I don't know if I'm thinking
02:32That's an elk track right there.
02:34Oh.
02:35Oh.
02:36Look, there's another one.
02:38No, that's a moose.
02:41How can you tell the difference?
02:43If you spend enough time tracking, you just know.
02:47Oh.
02:50So, do you have any questions about today?
02:55Like what?
02:57Well, asking you.
03:00Well, you're going to bury them.
03:02We are.
03:03Then what happens?
03:06Uh, then they return to the land, and their bodies become a part of it, um, and their souls, too,
03:18I guess.
03:19They don't go to heaven?
03:22I think this is their heaven.
03:26Heaven is...
03:29Oh, how do I explain this?
03:31Our teacher says there is no heaven.
03:33You know, I don't know if you've already figured this out, but do not believe everything your teacher says.
03:37Heaven is your perfect place.
03:43For some, it's ice cream oceans and marshmallow mountains, and others, it's these mountains.
03:54Does that make sense?
03:57And Grandpa's heaven is here?
04:00I think so.
04:02But if you think he's here, why is everyone so sad he's gone?
04:07Well, his heaven isn't mine, and...
04:12Well, I can't see him, and I can't talk to him, and I can't hug him, and he can't hug
04:18me, and I miss that.
04:21Yeah.
04:22I miss it, too.
04:24But that's why we have memories.
04:27We can revisit all those times that we did have.
04:32All the talks, all the laughs, all the hugs, and...
04:37You know, it's like a movie.
04:38We can...
04:40We can play it over and over as many times as we want in our minds.
04:48You know what I mean?
04:49I do.
04:52Not the same, though, as a real hug.
04:55No, it's not the same.
05:19Right here, huh?
05:21She marked it on a map.
05:23All right.
05:24Well, we ain't getting a backhoe down here.
05:27Might be able to get a tractor up from the river, but...
05:31Not sure what good that'll do us.
05:32No, these holes are getting dug the old Irish way.
05:36Yep.
05:38How the hell are we gonna get the caskets here?
05:41Swinsteads still feed off a wagon, don't they?
05:43That's a good idea.
05:46You gonna call or run for shovels?
05:48Nah, you call, I'll run.
05:50My gelding's just gonna follow you.
05:53Yank off that bridle.
06:15I am aware.
06:18Yes, I am aware.
06:20We have had a death in the family.
06:23I'm pretty sure the world of girls' volleyball will survive the week without her.
06:27Yes, you are correct.
06:29I am not factoring how this affects anyone else, even a little.
06:33Fucking school.
06:35Is this going to be okay?
06:38It's going to have to do, honey. It's all you got.
06:41Hey.
06:45It's just us.
06:47Okay? There's nobody to be offended.
06:49What did school say?
06:51You're missing a volleyball tournament.
06:53It's okay.
06:55It's okay.
06:57Hey.
06:59Hey.
07:02It's okay.
07:28Where'd you find cream?
07:29Same shopping center where I found the dress.
07:33I gotta say, Boseman impressed me.
07:36I wasn't expecting to find Donna Karan in the mountains.
07:39Found a little something for you, too.
07:41Yeah.
07:42Preston would prefer me in jeans.
07:44I think he would find a certain victory in that.
07:49He deserves a little black dress, and that's exactly what I got you.
07:53Did the boys say when they would be ready?
07:54They said to walk over at noon.
07:56How are they going to get them out there?
07:58I didn't ask, and they didn't say.
08:01They just said it was handled.
08:05About two hours.
08:07Preston wrote a chapter on telling time from the son's position.
08:13It's alarmingly accurate.
08:18The girls asked me to arrange a plane.
08:23When?
08:24Tonight.
08:25Oh.
08:27Okay.
08:27They need closure, honey.
08:29They won't get it here.
08:31They have lives, and they need to go live them.
08:34I would very much like to plan a memorial service.
08:37He has a lot of friends that deserve a way to say goodbye.
08:40Does he?
08:41He does.
08:42And you know that.
08:44We could do it at the Explorers Club.
08:46Okay, just have at the apartment.
08:49Have Corbon.
08:52Cater.
08:53He loved that place.
08:55I already called.
08:56You flying back, too.
09:02I have a very worried husband.
09:04He's convinced some distant cousin of the Unabomber's going to abduct me
09:08and hold me in his basement for ransom.
09:11Depending on the cousin, I'm not completely opposed.
09:14Of course, that's my warped romance novel version of abduction.
09:17I doubt that's how it would play out, Lily.
09:20That is how it would play out in my mind after two Percocets.
09:24You think I'm joking?
09:25No.
09:31I love you.
09:37There is nowhere I would rather be than with you when you need me.
09:41I know.
09:46I have a little bottle of Kahlua if you would like some blood in that coffee.
09:49Oh, well, now you're talking.
10:13I know you're talking.
10:16Have a bath.
10:17It's okay.
11:04Of course you pack the perfect dress.
11:13Is there some little black dress tree by the river that I am unaware of?
11:20Okay, girls.
11:24And Russell.
11:36Let's go.
11:37Let's go.
12:06Where are they?
12:08Uh, coming.
12:12It's all right.
12:15It's all right.
12:16It's all right.
12:18It's all right, Miss.
12:19It's fine.
12:27I'm sorry, Erin, you'll ever know.
12:30I'm sorry.
12:33I'm sorry.
12:43I'm sorry.
12:46I'm sorry, Miss.
12:47I'm sorry.
12:51I'm sorry.
13:05I'm sorry.
13:07I'm sorry.
13:10I'm sorry.
13:11I'm sorry, Miss.
13:15I'm sorry.
13:16I'm sorry.
13:27I'm sorry.
14:21Mrs. Glabber, I'm very sorry for your loss.
14:27Is a preacher coming?
14:32I forgot. I didn't...
14:36This one will be San's preacher.
14:38What's that mean?
14:40It means we don't have one.
14:42Do you have someone to govern the proceedings?
14:46We, um...
14:49This is my first funeral here, so we're sort of winging it.
14:55Well, this is far from my first rodeo.
14:58Do you mind if I say something first and then give you all a chance to speak?
15:03I don't think my group has many speeches in them.
15:08Do you mind a prayer?
15:11I do not.
15:22Lord, we stand before you with heavy hearts.
15:25With the glory of love comes the pain of loss, and we look to you for comfort.
15:30Lord, remind us that it is a selfish pain because you have promised a place called heaven where our departed
15:39bask in the glow of your grace.
15:41Jesus, they are no longer men, they are angels who guide us through darkness, lift us when we are weak,
15:50and nourish our souls and spirits.
15:53Jesus, our pain is a selfish pain because we do not know this place heaven.
15:59We lean on our faith that it exists, and on your mercy that it holds a place for us where
16:08we may sit in your light beside our loved ones and know only joy forever.
16:17Amen.
16:18Yeah.
16:20If anyone would like a word.
16:24Stacy, it's not the first time you've given that speech.
16:28No, ma'am.
16:30It's a good one.
16:33You care to say something?
16:37I have plenty to say, but I won't be saying it today.
16:50I guess that's it, then.
16:53Um.
16:56So, what happens now?
16:59We'll take care of everything.
17:04Wait, that's it?
17:05That's it?
17:06That's it?
17:07He has nothing to say, then say it, Paige.
17:08I don't know what to say.
17:10What are you supposed to say?
17:12I think that's her point.
17:18Which one's Paul?
17:29Goddamn you for taking him from us.
17:45I love you.
17:47I love you.
17:51I love you.
18:01Everyone deals with it different, don't they, boys?
18:05I don't think they're dealing with it at all.
18:08Not yet, anyway.
18:11I don't know who can blame them.
18:28I don't know who can't blame them, but I don't know who can't blame them, but I don't know who
18:37can't blame them, but I don't know who can't blame them, but I don't know who can't blame them, but
18:40I don't know who can't blame them, but I don't know who can't blame them, but I don't know who
18:42can't blame them, but I don't know who can't blame them, but I don't know who can't blame them, but
18:45I don't know who can't blame them, but I don't know who can't blame them, but I don't know who
18:45can't blame them, but I don't know who can't blame them, but I don't know who can't blame them, but
18:46I don't know who can't blame them, but I don't know who can't blame them, but I don't know who
18:46can't blame them, but I don't know who can't blame them, but I don't know who can't blame them, but
18:53I
19:11Pretty sneaky, trying to have a funeral and not tell anybody.
19:15Oh, I... I... I didn't know anyone would care.
19:20We let you have the funeral.
19:21We will not be denied our feast.
19:27When they decided to build these cabins,
19:29they wanted to do it all themselves.
19:31Mill the wood, frame it, roughing the electric, the whole deal.
19:36Look at the bottom up there.
19:37They're sitting on railroad ties,
19:39and I could not figure out what in the hell purpose that would serve.
19:42And I told them they're gonna be colder than the devil in winter,
19:45and every skunk and raccoon and God knows what else
19:48is gonna set up shop underneath them.
19:50Well, Preston just looked at me and nodded, didn't say a word.
19:54About six months later, tax assessor comes by my place and says,
19:58have you seen these cabins they built next door?
20:00I said, I had.
20:01And he asked me if I'd ever seen them move.
20:04I said, move?
20:05What do you... What do you mean, move?
20:07Tax assessor says, when he tried to put a value on them,
20:10your husband said they was mobile homes.
20:14You pick them up with a forklift and move them,
20:17and asked me if I'd ever seen them be mobile.
20:19Well, I told them, yeah, they haul them all over the place.
20:23And if you look at the back of that outhouse,
20:25your husband nailed tires from a shopping cart
20:28and said that son of a bitch was mobile too.
20:32He did not want to pay any taxes.
20:34I wondered what those were for.
20:36Preston always had issues with authority.
20:39Wheels on the outhouse.
20:40Never seen anything like it.
20:42No.
20:45Indian tacos. Good stuff.
20:48Want some?
20:49How about some of those cookies?
20:51Oh, good choice.
20:54I was thinking, like, three.
20:58What's your mom gonna say about that?
21:00My mom's not gonna say anything
21:01because she's not gonna see me eat them.
21:03Let's keep this between us.
21:06I think that's a good idea.
21:20Thank you for today.
21:22Means more than you know.
21:24Someone had to do it for me.
21:25I know what it means.
21:28I'm sorry it had to be done.
21:32We're flying out tonight.
21:33Girls have missed enough school,
21:35and I have exhausted my wardrobe.
21:37But...
21:41I'd like to come back.
21:44Or dare I invite you to New York?
21:48Well, the only way you'd get me to New York
21:50is if it seceded from the union
21:51and I was drafted into the army to take it back.
21:54Okay, you gotta go a little easier on my city, buddy.
21:57I'm not knocking it.
21:58I'm just not going there.
22:00Fair enough.
22:02Then I'll come visit.
22:04Sure.
22:06I mean it.
22:10Okay.
22:12I mean it.
22:20I'm a sheriff's deputy who makes $52,000 a year.
22:23I have $12,000 in the bank, and I'm about to spend six of it
22:27on a pretty average rope horse, three nights a week.
22:30I'm gonna load him in a trailer and drag him all over Montana,
22:32trying to win back what I spent on him.
22:34In October, I'm gonna take my boys in the mountains for a month
22:37and fill our freezer with elk.
22:39I ain't never land on no beach.
22:40I'm never going to Europe or San Francisco
22:44or any city bigger than Billings, ever.
22:48What part of that sounds good to you?
22:50None of it.
22:51Now walk me through your life.
22:53What won't you change?
22:54I don't have those kind of absolutes.
22:55Just walk me through it.
23:00Macy has gymnastics every morning.
23:03From there, I go to Pilates.
23:06From Pilates, I go to my therapist.
23:07From my therapist, I go to coffee with my girlfriends
23:09to talk about all the bullshit advice my therapist gave me.
23:12Then I pick up Macy, and I get Bridget, and we go to ballet.
23:15We have recitals every Friday night.
23:17Saturday morning, we have competitions.
23:19I take the girls the same parts for Christmas.
23:21Italy for the month of July, which you would love.
23:24I will point out.
23:30Who feeds the horses?
23:33Isn't there a service for that?
23:35You have to do it every day?
23:38Okay, okay, there is no future in this, but you are tall and kind and fucking beautiful.
23:46You are tall and kind and beautiful.
23:48Okay, so can we just agree to fuck this up together and have as much sex as possible
23:53until, until we can?
23:55Yeah, you city girls do spell it out, don't you?
23:57Yeah, we, we, we get to the point.
23:59Yep, we do.
24:00You go from wondering when we're gonna see each other to wondering when you're gonna leave.
24:06I think I'd rather just miss you.
24:10I'm not gone yet.
24:11You know what I mean.
24:13So is this goodbye?
24:17I think it's best.
24:18Oh, wow.
24:22Let me just clarify that you are breaking up with me at my father's funeral.
24:28No, we aren't together to break up.
24:30No, no, no, we seemed pretty together yesterday when you were lying on top of me.
24:32Don't fucking abby me now.
24:35You want to miss me?
24:36Is that what you want?
24:38Here's your fucking chance.
25:09It's time to go home, isn't it?
25:13It's time to go home, isn't it?
25:13It's been time, honey.
25:15It's time to go home, isn't it?
25:30It's time to go home.
25:49When did your father die, Russell?
25:54It'll be six years in April.
25:57Where is he buried?
25:58My mother had him cremated.
26:00The plan was to spread his ashes at our place in Montauk.
26:06He never did it. I don't know why.
26:09So, he's sitting in a jar on our mantle, which is an odd custom.
26:16Putting ashes in a jar above a fireplace full of ashes.
26:20What do you miss most about him?
26:27He used to call me every Monday and tell me a joke.
26:31Really?
26:34You still remember them?
26:35Oh, yeah.
26:36Tell me one.
26:38Oh, no, no, no.
26:39Yeah, they, um, yeah, my father had a, uh, rather warped sense of humor.
26:44Yeah, well, at this point, I'm pretty hard to offend.
26:49Hmm.
26:52Okay.
26:53Um.
26:56Okay.
26:58So, there are four nuns driving in a van.
27:00And the van goes off a cliff and they all die.
27:03Funny.
27:04No, no, no, no, no, that's, I'm, I'm getting, sorry, this is all just a setup.
27:07Yeah, I got, I got it, yeah.
27:08Okay.
27:09So, they're standing at the pearly gates and St. Peter looks them over and he says to the first nun,
27:14this is your last chance to confess before you enter the gates of heaven.
27:19And your conscience must be cleansed before you enter.
27:21So, the first nun thinks about it and she says, well, I used to sneak peeks at Father Riley in
27:29the shower.
27:35Mm-hmm.
27:38So, he looks at the second nun, asks her the same thing.
27:41She says, well, on occasion, I would stroke Father Riley's member with my hand.
27:47St. Peter just shakes his head, tells her to wash her hand in the bowl of holy water, say, ten
27:52Hail Marys.
27:53So, she does, lets her into heaven.
27:56Now, the third nun steps up and the fourth nun grabs her, throws her to the ground and steps up
28:01to the bowl of holy water.
28:02St. Peter says, what on earth are you doing, sister?
28:05And the nun says, I'm going to wash my mouth out in this bowl before that bitch puts her ass
28:09in it.
28:14I stand corrected, Russell.
28:16I can still be offended.
28:19I was very poorly chosen, I'm sorry.
28:21It was the first one that came to my mind.
28:22I am so sorry.
28:23I, it's terrible.
28:26Common denominator for their problem seems to be Father Riley.
28:30Yeah, he, uh, did get around.
28:32Ah, what's in it?
28:34Vodka soda.
28:35Easy on the soda.
28:37God bless you.
28:39The meeting's stuffing at the gym at nine, if you're up for it.
28:43Oh, yeah.
28:44Exercise, it's exactly what I need.
28:49I see things didn't end well with a cowboy.
28:54How's that look about it?
28:58Paige has been quiet.
29:00I think this is going to be hardest on her.
29:03I'm afraid.
29:05How so?
29:06When you've dedicated your entire life to gaining the attention of one person,
29:13what is your purpose when that person is gone?
29:16The girls are handling it well, at least.
29:18Yeah, well, they're too young to know the difference.
29:21Just one less present at Christmas.
29:27I know an excellent therapist, Stacy.
29:31You are my therapist.
29:34You're my best friend.
29:36I'm incapable of being impartial.
29:38Speaking to someone who can look at the situation with clarity and with zero opinion.
29:43What I need is opinion.
29:46If I want to know what the book on death says, I'll buy the fucking book.
30:13Oh, my God.
30:56I think that the tension is exactly where we are.
31:24I think that the tension is exactly where we are.
31:46We're doing a charcuterie board from Ely.
31:49And the pizzas from Joe's?
31:51One of us is thinking about your cholesterol.
31:54Pizzas are for Paul.
31:55It's the one thing he misses about this city.
32:00Look at you.
32:02Look at me what?
32:03Men are such children.
32:05Well, this should be interesting.
32:07You are.
32:08You have the same look on your face, pulling out those nasty boots,
32:11as an 11-year-old pulling out his baseball cleats.
32:14It's the same look you get when Gucci has a sale.
32:17That's different.
32:18That's me saving you money.
32:19Oh, you see now.
32:20This is proof of the genetic distinction between men and women.
32:24Tell me, oh love of my life, all the ways how when you buy something on sale, it saves me
32:31money.
32:31I'm going to buy the damn thing no matter what.
32:33Waiting for the sale is how much I love you.
32:37That almost makes sense.
32:39It makes perfect sense once you accept the inevitability of the purchase.
32:46Okay.
32:48Why do you do that?
32:50What?
32:51It's your little mountain mistress, the jealous type.
32:57You want to know?
32:58I do want to know.
33:00I really want to know.
33:01Because I lost it once.
33:04Fell off in the river.
33:05I spent two days looking for it.
33:07I'm not going through that shit again.
33:08So if I put it right there, I can't lose it.
33:12Oh, panicked, were you?
33:16Terrified.
33:17It's nice to see I still have that effect.
33:20Oh boy, do you ever, baby.
33:36Oh boy, do you ever, baby.
33:38Oh boy, yeah.
34:14Oh, Madison Avenue.
34:17How did they get the name, do you think?
34:22I always assumed James Madison.
34:24Oh.
34:24The president.
34:25Yeah.
34:26Of course, that would make sense.
34:27Yeah.
34:30I suppose they named the Madison River after him as well.
34:34Where is the Madison River?
34:36Montana.
34:39Where your husband spent time?
34:42Mm-hmm.
34:46Is that where he died?
34:48No, he died on another river.
34:50Actually, no, he died on a mountain.
34:55No, no river involved at all.
35:03How do you feel when you tell me that?
35:06How do you think I feel?
35:08I don't presume to know.
35:10That's why I asked.
35:11Isn't that your job?
35:14To tell me how I feel.
35:17My job is to help you understand how you feel.
35:20Hmm.
35:22More so, my job is to help you understand the behaviors that those feelings elicit.
35:29Hmm.
35:33And how would you describe my present behavior?
35:39Hostile.
35:42Hostile?
35:43Mistrusting.
35:45Which I understand.
35:48You don't know me.
35:51And yet, here you are, in theory, willing to expose your most personal thoughts and intimate feelings.
36:01Trust me in my interpretation of those feelings and behaviors to guide your decision-making in the future.
36:12My decision-making?
36:13What decisions are we questioning?
36:15I'm not questioning anything.
36:16No, you are the one who said it.
36:18My husband died.
36:19The love of my life.
36:22The father of my children.
36:24My center, my soul, is gone.
36:29If you, by chance, have happened upon any information that might assist me in mitigating the desire to claw my
36:38eyes out with a fucking spoon to get rid of the pain, I sure would appreciate that.
36:46But I do not need you staring at me like I'm some bored housewife trying to justify her affair with
36:52her fucking tennis coach.
36:54I know those women.
36:55I know those women.
36:56Plenty of them.
36:56I am not one of them.
37:01I am hurting.
37:03And I would like some help.
37:06And I would like some help with that.
37:38I am hurting my tooth, too.
37:38Don't normally do this.
37:40Spend most of my time convincing my clients not to self-medicate.
37:47Don't mind whiskey?
37:48I don't give a shit what it is.
38:11What you need is this.
38:12A lot of this.
38:15Not this.
38:17A lot of talking.
38:19And yelling and crying.
38:21A lot of it.
38:22And often.
38:25And in time...
38:28Those memories will become fond again.
38:31They won't hurt to recall them.
38:36And you'll...
38:38Laugh.
38:41Will you love again?
38:43Maybe.
38:45I don't have any idea if that's something you want.
38:50Will you ever be whole again?
38:51Will you feel like you did before he died?
38:58No.
39:00But you know that.
39:03But you will heal if you let yourself.
39:06You will have as much life to live as you allow yourself.
39:15Or you'll have none.
39:20You'll have no life.
39:25Does that make sense?
39:30Yeah.
39:33Okay.
39:38Why don't you finish your drink and let me have it?
39:42Seriously.
39:43Come on.
39:43Give it your best shot.
39:50You're a terrible therapist, you know that.
39:53Yeah.
39:54With that smug fucking sweater.
39:58You really like saying fuck, don't you?
40:00I know.
40:02I find it quite...
40:06liberating at the moment.
40:08Good.
40:09Say it again.
40:11Fuck you.
40:12Are we gonna do trust falls next, you fucking quack?
40:17It's a really good place to start.
40:19Come on.
40:19Keep it coming.
40:20Let's go.
40:21I'm serious.
40:27I'm thinking about it.
40:29I'm considering it.
40:32I know, I know, I know.
40:34I'm running away.
40:35Running away from my problems.
40:37This problem goes with me, so I'm not running from anything.
40:43Would I miss my daughters?
40:46Honestly, I don't...
40:48I don't know.
40:49And part of me thinks it would be better for them.
40:52You know, live their own lives.
40:55Maybe they could move with you.
40:57I mean, it doesn't sound like either of them are bound to the city.
40:59But that's what I said.
41:01My oldest daughter needs it.
41:03I...
41:05Actually threatened to cut her off, if she didn't.
41:08That's not very nice.
41:10Oh, what do they teach?
41:13Sarcasm in therapy school these days?
41:16Well, if by therapy school you mean Dartmouth, then yeah.
41:19They kind of invented it there.
41:26Do you think I should?
41:30Not my place to say, but...
41:35I think you should consider it.
41:37And I'll tell you why.
41:39Because you are actively weighing your future.
41:42And the consequences are your choices in that future, and that's healthy.
41:45That's good for your soul.
41:46So whether you actually do it is irrelevant.
41:49But you should seriously consider it.
41:52You should consider...
41:54Moving to Europe.
41:56Spend a year traveling.
41:57You got the financial means, no responsibilities here preventing it.
42:01You should consider everything.
42:06Wish I could have met him.
42:08Must have been a hell of a man.
42:10Because you are a hell of a woman.
42:12You know who you are, and you're not ashamed of it.
42:14And this, the yelling and crying and pondering.
42:18This is what you're supposed to be doing.
42:20This is grieving.
42:22This is accepting an immeasurable loss in your life.
42:25And racking your brain to try to find a way to survive it.
42:30And you will.
42:34Thank you, Phil.
42:38Oh, this has been...
42:41Pleasantly cathartic.
42:43I took one look at that sweater, and I had very little faith in you.
42:46But you...
42:48You overcame it.
42:50Turns out, you don't suck at your job.
42:53Well, that...
42:55Is wildly offensive.
42:59Same time tomorrow?
43:00I'm thinking afternoon.
43:02I still got five clients, and I'm pretty drunk.
43:05I think you are a client to end the day with, not begin one.
43:08Fine.
43:09See you at happy hour.
43:10Time for me.
43:16Tope them out here.
43:26Okay.
43:27Stack for us.
43:28Democrats in California-
43:29Coo-poo-poo-poo-points.
43:31Remember, don't saturate him.
43:36D 괜찮 actually in Forex.
43:40who's your realtor yeah no matter what I do I can't stay here Lily I can smell him
43:48hold on hold on is everything okay so um Paige is is is in bed and she won't talk and
43:59she can't
43:59stop crying and she's well she's hyperventilating and I feel like I should call an ambulance but I
44:04don't like I feel like that might make her worse you're right you're right it would
44:08I'll be there in 15 minutes call Abby okay calling her now
44:38is she in the bedroom yeah
44:46uh do you have any sweets sweets okay get some ice cream rocky road and buy some chocolate chips put
44:54three scoops in a glass of milk put the chocolate chips on top and and then just bring it to
44:59me
44:59with a spoon that sounds as uh disgusting I wasn't asking your opinion of it Russell
45:09I got rocky road desperate times call for desperate measures grab chocolate chips the
45:14shitty ones like she likes well looks like all we need from you is a cup Russell give it to
45:20her
45:20she knows how to make it got it okay hey hey hey hey hey hey hey it's okay it's okay
45:28it's okay
45:29it's okay it's okay it's okay you know what this is this is how much you love him and your
45:34body just
45:35doesn't know where to put all that love now okay you don't have to put it anywhere and you don't
45:39have to stop loving someone when they're gone in fact one could argue that you should love them
45:46more and here's a sad act of life you will feel this way again yeah when I die when your
45:56husband
45:56dies and your friends and and someday your children will feel this way about you thanks mom I feel so
46:04much better I come bearing gifts I'm not hungry it's not food it is a drug it is sugar and
46:14chocolate
46:14in a mixture that only your metabolism process in a way that doesn't end up on your hips and I
46:19hate
46:19you for it I used to eat this when I was like five no you still act five so
46:31fuck you and your bad roots no she's back I don't understand it it's the crunch with the cold
46:40and a mushy of the ice cream wait the explanation doesn't sell it page well you got her I got
46:49her but
46:50I cannot stay the night I can stay the night
47:02this is my favorite thing ever I know
47:17is she okay
47:20she will be
47:24is there a decent bar near here
47:27uh there's a there's a there's a dive bar around the corner
47:33well Soho's version of a dive bar
47:37hmm
47:51what's this place called
47:54um I don't know I'm not sure it has a name
48:10what's the name of this place
48:13name uh people just call it the bar or the bar down the street something like that
48:17no name not that I'm aware of no what does your paycheck say
48:22uh XT Enterprises LLC or some shit
48:29okay so bar just doesn't have a name
48:33no name what can I get you
48:34oh god I'm uh I am not in the mood to make any decisions
48:41martini uh that is a cocktail and this is the furthest place from a cocktail bar so
48:45true that uh how about an Irish car bomb
48:48I have no idea what that is
48:50trust me
48:51okay
48:52what about you
48:53what kind of amber ales do you
48:55that'll be two Irish car bombs
48:56yeah like your style
48:57two Irish car bombs
48:58I have to work in the morning
49:00it's one drink Russell
49:07oh I didn't see that coming
49:09oh gosh apologies
49:11Russell
49:13this is gonna hurt
49:19great
49:21you gotta
49:22yeah
49:32it went down the wrong pipe
49:36I have a bad gag reflex
49:38no no I'm not I'm I'm not laughing at that
49:41what then
49:44oh life
49:47choices people make
49:49don't get me wrong
49:51she made a good one with you
49:55what are your dreams
49:59dreams
50:00or
50:01aspirations
50:03might be a better word
50:05for your life
50:06for
50:07my daughter
50:08I mean what
50:09you know we just got the townhouse
50:11so
50:12yeah well that's a purchase
50:13not a dream
50:16have you two
50:18talked about starting a family
50:21you know Paige
50:23she just got down to a size zero
50:24and she worked really hard for it
50:26Russell Russell
50:26independent thoughts
50:27do you have any
50:31yeah I mean I guess I want
50:32I want to have kids
50:34mm-hmm
50:35okay
50:35I don't want to raise them
50:36and I want to
50:38I want to move out of town
50:39you know where they can have a normal
50:41you know trick-or-treat
50:43and play baseball
50:45and run out on the street
50:46you know
50:47no I don't know
50:48no I don't know
50:49I raised mine here
50:52well that would be my dream
50:54what about when they're grown
50:58what's the dream then
50:59I don't know
51:01I don't know
51:02I haven't gotten that far
51:03yeah well
51:04then you need a new dream
51:08honestly I always thought of you
51:09and Creston as the dream
51:14so did I Russell
51:20but that dream is over
51:24well I guess we both need a new one
51:29yeah
51:31yeah
51:32yeah
51:32yeah
51:32yeah
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