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00:09We're off to the hospital!
00:11I'm sure it's 5 past 3 in the morning. I am but I'm trapped tonight.
00:15Hopefully in a few hours it'll be a ball.
00:18It'll be a ball in my mind.
00:20It'll be like crazy.
00:23Ben, now!
00:29Are you going to sleep tonight? You promise? Are you lying?
00:33Yeah. I know.
00:35Are you going to be up at 8am doing your breakfast with me?
00:39Yes, I'll be up, ready to leave for 10, yes.
00:41And the fact that Aaron has made the effort today to actually participate in this,
00:46it feels like we're taking a step in the correct direction.
00:48Like, my head was not normal when I first had her.
00:53If I get them anxieties again, I think it could be hard.
00:57Hard for me as a mum, hard for us as a couple.
01:01Shut up! I'm crying! This is not helping!
01:04Don't speak to me like that!
01:05Here we go, here we go.
01:07I don't feel like it's ever going to work.
01:10Speak to me!
01:38See, he's just opened his mouth to speak.
01:42Speak to me like what she said now! Grandma!
01:48I've been home from hospital for a week, and I still can't believe I'm a mum to baby Carter James.
01:55He's such a lovely little boy. He's just perfect.
01:59He really is. He's just a little doll and he's just, oh, I hate putting him down.
02:04I just want to squeeze him all day long.
02:06I did end up having a C-section, so I am still recovering.
02:11I am still in a bit of pain when my stitching is like a stinging knife.
02:15My midwife has been, she's took my dressing off, said my wound's called a little bit open,
02:19so just have to put a fresh dressing on.
02:21Sometimes I'll just get a shooting pin on the left side.
02:24It is not the most ideal thing, obviously, when you've got a newborn baby, getting up for feeds and that.
02:30But I am slowly getting there.
02:33Since Tyler came to the bar, things have been much better with us.
02:38But it didn't last long.
02:40Since I have come home from the hospital, Tyler has been staying here.
02:43Last night, we had a bit of an argument.
02:45I told him leave, never speak to me again.
02:47He said he is going to come back today.
02:49I think he just doesn't realise, obviously, the pain I am in myself.
02:53I can't just get up straight away when that baby's crying.
02:58And it's just, it just needs to be around a bit more.
03:02And just help, it's not hard just putting a few clothes in the drawers.
03:06How is it?
03:08Grandma's like a munchkin, aren't you, darling?
03:10Sleeping again.
03:13How are you feeling, anyway?
03:16Fine, it's just a pain. I am in pain.
03:19Is it just where your stitches are?
03:22Yeah.
03:23I know it's not going to be forever, love, is it?
03:24I'm already, yeah, I'm already, yeah.
03:28Tyler's back.
03:29And it just feels a bit awkward between us.
03:32I'm already, yeah, I'm already, yeah, I'm already, yeah.
03:36How's it been this morning?
03:39Sleep.
03:41Usual.
03:44Where are your friends you two now, what?
03:47She just loves her attitude, don't you?
03:50She want your help a bit more.
03:54Yeah, I understand that.
03:56Being a dad isn't just feeding and changing.
04:00There's lots more little jobs to it.
04:03Putting the clothes away, making sure everything's clean,
04:05things like that.
04:08Right, you'll never do it exactly how she wants it.
04:11That doesn't...
04:12She could say, right, you do this and do that,
04:14and she'll still shout at you.
04:18I just want you to start helping me, that's all.
04:21Just little things.
04:23Yeah, I want you.
04:25Oh?
04:27Hey!
04:29You're on my team.
04:31Even he's thinking stop mourning.
04:33You're on my team.
04:36Tell Mummy stop mourning.
04:40I know Tyler's joking, but that's the problem.
04:43He's not taking me seriously.
05:00You're better than Daddy.
05:02No need for that comment, was there?
05:04Absolutely disgraceful.
05:05He's actually washed up more in his four years of life
05:09than you probably ever have in your life.
05:10Mama said don't play with fire.
05:15This morning was so stressful.
05:17My car broke down and Matt missed his hospital appointment.
05:21So, Matt's having a rare day at home with me and the kids.
05:25You go get it.
05:26Get.
05:28It's great to have Matt here,
05:30but I wish he would focus on us and not worry about work.
05:33He's already planning to work tonight.
05:36He doesn't need to be going back to work today.
05:38It's been booked off.
05:39Just leave it as that.
05:40But the first thing that he was worried about was bloody work.
05:44That's the first thing he thinks about all the time.
05:46Just get work out of your mind.
05:48Accept it.
05:48We've missed the appointment.
05:49Just be with us today.
05:51Why are you working tonight?
05:54Because, Ainge, I've had a whole day at home with you and the kids.
05:58Yeah.
05:58And then if I work all night tonight,
06:00it pays for the day I had with you.
06:03It's not the fact of you working.
06:04It's just the fact that...
06:06I just think...
06:09I just think there needs to be a bit more of a...
06:12Home work balance.
06:13Yes.
06:14But that will come in a couple of years,
06:16when we're out of this flat.
06:21This is bloody typical, isn't it?
06:22I took the day off to go to get this stupid thing done.
06:25And you know what it means when Matt takes a day off work.
06:29What do you mean by that?
06:31I don't like being at work.
06:34I honestly feel like you'd choose to work later some days,
06:39certain days,
06:40because you don't want to come home.
06:42I can hear so much in the silence
06:45So alive, the temperature is rising
06:48I'd much rather be at home
06:50with you lot and have the money.
07:01What do you want, a doughnut?
07:04Is he allowed a doughnut?
07:05No chance, we've got dinner in a minute.
07:06Doughnut, doughnut, doughnut, doughnut, doughnut!
07:10If you eat less doughnut, you'd better eat your dinner.
07:14Why are you shaking your head?
07:16I just don't think he'd be having a doughnut.
07:18He's going to eat dinner in a minute and he won't be hungry.
07:20Oh my God, I'm not arguing about a bloody doughnut.
07:26Whatever.
07:28Right, I'll put fish good on you, don't hardly touch his dinner.
07:30Why not? I bet he will eat his dinner.
07:32Not a decent amount. I bet he will.
07:35Who would have eaten all of it then?
07:39You have sacks before your dinner.
07:41But I eat my dinner.
07:42I do it every day on my own, Matt.
07:44I know what he eats and how he eats.
07:46You're literally making an argument.
07:48I'm not making an argument.
07:49All right, all right, all right.
07:51The one time he's home and we're arguing about a doughnut.
08:09I'm five and a half months pregnant now, and I'm trying to enjoy it, but I just can't help being
08:15worried.
08:17Last year, I suffered a miscarriage, and it was one of the hardest moments of my life.
08:24Being pregnant with endometriosis and having lost before, it's so scary, and I want to enjoy it, because I'm so
08:33grateful to even be pregnant.
08:35I want to, you know, enjoy every aspect of this pregnancy, because it could be my last.
08:40Memories to remain in this house.
08:48My best friend Charlotte is also pregnant and has brought her little girl Ada for a play date.
08:55She also suffered a miscarriage, so she's one of the only people I feel I can talk to.
09:02I don't think I have fully relaxed this entire pregnancy.
09:05No.
09:06After having a little.
09:07I've struggled, like, getting excited.
09:10Which is completely understandable.
09:12Everyone's like, you've not got anything for baby boy because it's baby number two.
09:16It's nothing to do with that.
09:17It's just been so triggering, the bleeding, the pain.
09:21I think even now, I've felt the same guilt that it's like, I haven't celebrated this pregnancy the same way
09:27as I had done with the past two.
09:29Yeah.
09:31But until you've experienced a loss yourself, you then don't understand how hard it is to go through pregnancy again.
09:38It's awful.
09:39I hate going to scans because...
09:41The anxiety of, like, what is it and what's happening and is something wrong?
09:51It's nice talking to Charlotte because I can open up to her in a way that I really struggle opening
09:55up to other people
09:56because she fully understands how it feels to have, you know, gone through loss and then be pregnant again and
10:03whatnot.
10:03So, I just feel very, very blessed to have Charlotte as a friend.
10:12Like, I just can't wait for him to be in my arms.
10:14Yeah.
10:15Did you see that?
10:16Yeah.
10:17But it doesn't invalidate her feeling at the moment.
10:19Yeah.
10:37You used the potty today?
10:39Did you?
10:40Did you?
10:40Did you wear your big boy pants?
10:42Should you put your big boy pants on in a minute?
10:45Yeah.
10:46Juggling college, a new relationship and a toddler isn't easy.
10:52And to make my life more difficult, I've started trying to toilet train Khalil.
10:57You're going to tell Mummy if you need to use the toilet.
11:00Say, Mum, I need the toilet.
11:02I need the toilet.
11:04Good boy.
11:05No, thank you.
11:08I feel like with potty training, hand to God, I have not been as consistent as I should be.
11:13As annoying as it is changing the wet clothes and going through the nappies and stuff, I need to just
11:19crack on and get them in big boy pants.
11:24You're going to use the toilet?
11:25Yeah.
11:25Do you need to do poo-poo's?
11:27Poo-poo's.
11:29No, don't do it yet.
11:30Do it on the toilet.
11:30Do it on the toilet.
11:31No.
11:32No, not in your nappy, baby.
11:34Toilet.
11:34Yeah, let Mummy take the nappy off then.
11:36Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
11:39Good job.
11:40High five.
11:42Success.
11:43Are you doing more?
11:44The problem is, he wants to hang out in there all day.
11:47Tell Mummy when you're all done, OK?
11:49Yeah.
11:49OK.
12:00He's been in there for 15 minutes.
12:03I think I'll call my mum for some moral support.
12:12Hey, if I have to go through this, so do you.
12:15Khalil's having a poo in the toilet.
12:17No!
12:22Listen, Mum, listen.
12:24Khalil, are you all done?
12:25What?
12:29Oh, my God, Mummy's locked himself in there.
12:33Khalil!
12:34Open the door!
12:37Khalil, open it, please!
12:48Don't lock the door when you go in the toilet.
12:50You can get stuck in here.
12:52Get your bed!
12:54Rain's pouring down.
12:55Do you need to use the toilet, yeah?
12:58Do you need to use the toilet?
13:00Are you going to the toilet?
13:05We've made some progress today,
13:07but it feels like sometimes it's one step forward
13:10and one step back.
13:13Don't do it in your pants, Khalil!
13:16Khalil!
13:17Oh, my God.
13:19You need to take your pants off before you do the wee-wee.
13:22All right.
13:24Oh, my God.
13:25Bye-bye.
13:27Bye-bye, babe.
13:44All right.
13:45Aaron, Tina's asleep.
13:47It felt like Aaron was finally starting to make a bit more effort
13:50and we even decided to go on our first date since Tina was born.
13:55But it looks like that might not happen now.
13:58I was looking for the money that we'd put away
14:01for our anniversary meal
14:04and I asked Aaron, where is it?
14:06You know, what have you done with it?
14:07Do you know where it is?
14:08And he was just telling me how he could not remember.
14:11Couldn't remember where he'd put this money.
14:12Eventually, he ends up admitting
14:14that he actually bought his work colleagues some drinks
14:18and I am really, really, really annoyed about it.
14:24Lying just breaks down any trust we've built up.
14:28All round and round we go
14:32Should we talk about it this morning?
14:35No, no. I got up and went to work.
14:38What do you mean you got up and went to work?
14:41Are you forgetting the lies you told me?
14:43About the drinks?
14:45Yeah.
14:46What do I say about that?
14:49But I don't get why you needed to lie, Aaron.
14:52It's you.
14:53What do you mean, it's me?
14:55Evil water years kick off.
14:58Well, no, I'm going to kick off more if you're lying about it.
15:00You can just admit.
15:01Why did you feel the need
15:03to say that you cannot remember
15:05what you did with the money last night?
15:09I don't know.
15:11A little white lie.
15:12A little white lie?
15:14Yeah.
15:15Was it necessary?
15:17Probably not.
15:18It would just be nice
15:19to not have to call someone out all the time.
15:22It feels like I'm telling off a toddler.
15:24Obviously, me doing a nice gesture
15:27for other people.
15:28Obviously, I've brought trouble back here.
15:30Now I'm in trouble.
15:32I'm spending the money.
15:33Obviously, I should have probably thought a little bit
15:35before I did it.
15:38It's going to take something big
15:39to make this meal feel special again
15:41because now it kind of just feels like a bit of a chore.
15:43Yeah, you always let me down.
15:57Bloody hell, I've had enough.
16:02Teddy?
16:03What are you doing?
16:03As usual, Matt's at work
16:07and I'm doing the bedtime routine alone.
16:09Jessie, you can't escape.
16:12I was hoping for some downtime this evening,
16:14but both kids are really playing up.
16:19AHHHHH!
16:21Bedtimes are a nightmare without Matt here.
16:27It's supposed to be bedtime.
16:28It is nights like tonight
16:30that I wish Matt was home from work,
16:32but I think I'm just so used to doing it on my own now
16:35that it's just a routine.
16:37But it would obviously be nice to have some extra help,
16:40but that's not the case.
16:43There's one of me!
16:44And there's only one!
16:46No-one else is going to do it for me, are they?
16:48And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse...
16:51Jessie, what have you done?!
17:03..what's wrong with you?!
17:06NO, DON'T STAND IN IT!
17:08NO! DON'T STAND IN IT!
17:11Right.
17:12I just cannot be bothered to clean anymore.
17:15I can't be bothered to wipe that up, but I have to.
17:19I'm feeling stress. I just want to scream and I want to just I just can't cope today. I really
17:28can't cope
17:54Yeah, come in here. Yeah, we'll do
17:59After me and mum chatted with Tyler about helping out more. I want to see if he's actually taking it
18:04on board
18:08Did you want that? No, put some clothes away. Yeah. Oh, yeah
18:13These ones here. Mmm. I was when I was pregnant. Yeah
18:16He's playing on the back cheek and that but I was doing everything. Obviously, I can't do that now
18:19If I stand up for too long, that's it
18:21I'm in agony. I need to sit down and then I struggle standing up
18:25So I do just heal properly then I can be there for my body
18:30You're gonna have to tell me where everything goes kind of
18:35There is something telling me he's gonna step up here and he is gonna be the child that I obviously
18:39I do know
18:42That just chucking in dry. Which one? Mary Ann one
18:46This one
18:48Yeah
18:48Yeah
18:50Why have you rolled it like a cracker?
18:52I don't know
18:53I think we've gone better since the baby's come though
18:57Yeah, it's brought us more more together
19:01Like having a baby
19:02Look at him
19:05Cute, isn't it?
19:06Yeah
19:06His little face
19:08We had little arguments and stuff
19:11Little
19:11What?
19:12I won't say very little
19:13But I thought it was better to give her even more
19:18Last night you did really annoy me though
19:22I know, obviously
19:23I know sorry for that but
19:26That's why I went home for a bit
19:27It gives you a little time for chill
19:28Relax
19:29Well not relax but
19:31Relax
19:31It's the first night you didn't have a proper sleep
19:33Next time you know off and that foot keep me hitting didn't you?
19:36Yeah I do
19:37And then you would have had a proper sleep wouldn't you?
19:39And I learnt my lesson from that one
19:46And that's
19:48That's it
19:49I ain't gonna pause for me
19:53Job well done
19:55I am very happy that Tyler has helped out and done things
19:59That's all I need
20:00Just a little bit of extra hands
20:03For your balm
20:04What's that?
20:05The very first one?
20:07Yeah
20:07It makes us better for the baby
20:10And just
20:12Everyone makes everyone else more happier knowing he's helping and stuff like that
20:16It's just
20:16Makes life a lot easier
20:22Mountains are for climbing
20:24Heavens are for flying
20:26With your hand in mind we can do anything
20:31Oceans are for sailing
20:33Change our
20:34Let me have a look at him
20:35Life is for
20:36It is an allen key that you need
20:38You've just not got the right one
20:40We're decorating elizabeth hope's bedroom before the baby comes
20:44So while she's away at mum's we're dismantling the toddler bed and building her a new big girl bed
20:51It's not a way for that allen key to come off that
20:54It's not a way for that allen key to come off that
20:57Elizabeth hopes
20:58It's actually getting a real big girl bed now
21:03Don't pull it off because then you'll break it
21:05I just feel very proud that like how far she's come in a year
21:12She's grown up so much and now baby brother's gonna get that a cot and
21:19He's gonna have a beautiful space and she's gonna have a beautiful space and I just can't wait to see
21:23her little face
21:26It was crazy to think that when I was pregnant with elizabeth hope I was putting up next to microbes
21:31alone
21:33Decorating my bedroom the best I could alone
21:37And like worrying about things alone
21:42And now
21:44I've got you
21:46And she's got you
21:49I didn't realise how much a dad could bring to the table until I met you
21:58Obviously like never had a dad growing up
22:01And my mum did a bloody fantastic job to the point I never realised what I was missing out on
22:06you know what I mean
22:07But seeing yours and elizabeth hope's relationship
22:13It's so beautiful and she'd missed out on a lot if it weren't for you
22:18I'm just so glad that she's got a jack
22:24I would just feel so blessed to have you
22:28I'd say I feel proud that I've been able to come into our family and make a difference
22:38I just feel so blessed and lucky
22:42Jack can wind me up
22:44But honestly my kids have the best I've had and that's just the top and bottom of it
22:52I love you
22:52I love you
22:53I love you
22:55I love you a little bit more if you broke the drill
23:00I love you a little bit more if you want to go
23:13I love you a little bit more if I could go
23:20I love you a little bit more if you want to go
23:25lay down i worked really hard to make khalil's room nice but it seems to have made his sleeping
23:31even worse mommy's not joking anymore you need to put on your listening ears now
23:38lay there now for me the past few nights has been a headache because i've just been sat there in
23:44my
23:44bed bone wide so i do this room up no khalil he doesn't see his bedroom as a bedroom anymore
23:51it's
23:51a playground for him there's so many toys there's so many things to do that's not been a fun few
23:57couple of days for me we check where we're going should we look left and then right
24:07hopefully a trip to the park will wear him out before bedtime they can go feral and we can eat
24:14all about how are you
24:20i get no sleep my child's not potty trained
24:24marla isn't you know what let me move on this side
24:30because do you think she's better than us because she has a five-year-old that is potty trained and
24:34sleep trained not even how's khalil sleeping in this new room i had a few thoughts the past
24:40few nights what have i done why did i do this why did i do up his bedroom as much
24:44as i love his
24:45bedroom he doesn't sleep in it anymore is he being silly it's a playground
24:50it's already on the door bed bars not like a prison but you know like the
24:54no no i like that idea tell me more do tell me more
25:00i just have to be stern because i give in so easily especially like when he's been crying for a
25:05bit
25:05too long and he says he goes cuddle cuddle i'm not oh you're just a baby but you're not you're
25:10two i love you you need to go to bed now and i think it's harder when you're the only
25:14person that's
25:15telling them no no no no no no yeah you have to be the bad guy yeah and you have
25:18to be the fun guy as
25:19well and when you're the fun guy too much they don't take you seriously yeah yeah you'll get there
25:24you can do it i believe in you i do it all just because after hearing from different perspectives
25:33like it's just i just end up understanding that we're just stuck we're just stuck and i think we
25:39found out today like no matter what advice you take or whatever you read every child works differently
25:44it's just a journey this time i don't complain because what's it was being stubborn i'm like i
25:49should probably be quiet so i was worse as a child my mom always goes to me this was your
25:53karma and
25:54i don't even argue with her i'm like yeah that's what my mom says this is your karma and i
25:57think i
25:57wasn't that bad oh yeah are you gonna go play with daddy while mommy does her makeup hey how you
26:25doing
26:27oh you're so warm look at your little curls a bit of this despite aaron spending the money we put
26:34aside for our anniversary meal we're still going to go out to celebrate my mom is going to watch tino
26:40for us but it's the first time we've been out just the two of us since he was born so
26:45that's playing on
26:46my mind i have got my cameras on so i will be watching my mom and seeing what them two
26:51are getting
26:52up to i need to know that he's safe otherwise that would distract me more so having the cameras on
26:56in
26:56the background is just going to give me peace of mind and let me be able to relax and enjoy
27:01the time
27:01out we were having together i do want to have fun tonight i just need to try and switch off
27:18this is nice
27:21you take our off i am she's trying to get the cameras up
27:29aaron what the cameras are offline unlucky can't check up on your mom i'm gonna call her
27:41she's gonna answer unless she does should i get annoyed i know she's gonna be annoyed that i'm calling
27:48your call has been forwarded to voicemail the person you're trying to reach is not available
27:57that is cheeky i'm sure mom and tina will be fine i just need aaron to help take my mind
28:04off them
28:15it just feels a bit awkward between us like we've forgotten how to talk to each other
28:19i feel like tino is like our conversation star it is like if he was here right now we'd be
28:29like
28:29i'll be like tino do you think daddy likes his food like no yeah we do i mean when do
28:36we realistically
28:36when do we talk uh morning i have for muck no we don't no really no we don't
28:47my camera is it back on yeah living room motion was detected oh crying oh
28:54she's blowing her nose oh look at him no sorry oh my god look oh
29:04cute little bean what should we do now do you want another drink no we might as well just go
29:14home
29:14then i mean if we're not doing anything else what's the point thank you forget the bill please cheers
29:27it's like a trophy a trophy put it in the frame the meal i paid for for our anniversary thank
29:34you
29:41it felt like a first day me and aaron have gone so quick into our relationship everything's happened
29:46one after the other and we've never really been on many dates so without me being either pregnant
29:53or having a baby so it was definitely really really awkward really really hard to do
30:19you're all right
30:20all right feel like you're leaving her they usually do they just get a little ball patch it back
30:28Tyler's gone out for a bit and i'm finally feeling up to getting out of bed
30:34i'm really happy that he came back after i kicked him out last night
30:38he's going to help out a bit more it feels like we're a little family again
30:43there is still things we need to work on we will get there we've stepped up now both of
30:49being pregnant with the baby so we can start those two right definitely just as long as we're both
30:54obviously be there for that baby that's all that matters really with tyler though i did buy my tongue
30:59last night i was a bit annoying myself and i thought i do have to take a step back
31:05you're going to fall out fallouts not everything's going to be hunky dora at this age now carter james
31:11is literally a week old in a few months time when he's doing a bit more and
31:17not sleeping and when you start not sleeping yourself that's when you're going to argue because
31:23you're tired i'm here you use me if you want to have a shower and that i'll have baby
31:29yeah but i'm not asked you to do one thing i know but it's little things what need doing what
31:35not being done so it's like well i intervene you know you don't have to you don't have sterilized
31:41bottles you do that yeah because you can't walk proper but a towel can sterilize bottles basically
31:48trying to say because tyler's not doing it you're doing it no we've only just got on to them bottles
31:52i know but it does nothing else but really after a baby oh right okay okay
32:03i don't want you to do nothing anymore i don't want to sterilize no bottles so you're just being
32:06horrible no i'm not no i'm not so i'll do it myself yeah but you can't right now you've got
32:11to look
32:12after yourself no i don't mind Tyler can do a bit more i'll get him to do it you had
32:20to fall out with
32:20tyler to make him put clothes away yeah i know that i know that but is that what's going to
32:25happen all
32:25time no but we do argue still as well and that's why i won't tell you nothing because no matter
32:30what
32:31everything gets thrown back in my face just like you've just done there
32:37but no matter what you do it's never going to be right for you
32:43i'm trying but i am so much biting my tongue i don't care i don't want to hear it anymore
32:50i just don't understand you just don't understand me
32:55i am going to wound up about everything i'm like we can't bother the conversation's over
33:04it's one of them where leone can win you wait to my whole day long i've just said i really
33:10agree
33:10with you there and then i get it all don't bother doing this don't bother doing that and
33:19i think i know the outcome what's going to happen in time but i suppose we'll have to wait and
33:26see
33:26won't we she needs to realize at the end of the day he's his dad he's not done nothing wrong
33:32to her
33:34me and tyler it's that's a real issue it's not she's nothing to do with it sometimes i wish
33:39didn't even live here at this point
33:57what's these that's your big boy pants are you gonna wear them today yeah with all my focus on
34:06khalil's potty training this week i'm worried my college studies are falling behind we're gonna take
34:12your napi off later yeah yeah good job things are only going to get harder as tomorrow my mum's going
34:19away for work for a few weeks so i'll have no extra help what's that i do feel sad because
34:28it's just so
34:29nice having your mum here and i'm not gonna lie like i love the amount of support my mum gives
34:34me even
34:34though in the beginning when i was first getting my foot in with this whole motherhood thing i was
34:38getting a bit annoyed because i was like mom i need to figure this out by myself but then over
34:42the
34:42years i've realized that there's no shame in accepting help and we're just taking it because
34:47it takes a village like they say and my mum makes up a large portion of my village
34:55but while i've still got her here to help we're going to enjoy the sunshine and a day out with
35:00khalil
35:00and my little brother aj wow there's a train chase it chase the train go go go go
35:12what is it oh there's someone in there
35:16let's go let's go
35:18khalil no can we be gentle please
35:23sit here we can watch them running in the circle
35:27i'm gonna miss you when you go tomorrow
35:30i'll miss you too well you're gonna be fine i miss your car more than you
35:33your chauffeur yeah that's all you miss yeah actually you're gonna be fine you'll be fine
35:40it's preparing you for the tougher world no i know it's fun yeah you've already tasted it so
35:46and you're doing it like a pro
35:54sometimes i do worry about whitney because i feel she has a lot in her plate i do give her
36:00a lot of
36:00praises but sometimes i think she doesn't believe me but i actually genuinely meant it because for a
36:0619 year old to be doing what she is doing now to be honest she deserves a medal
36:17so how's college and everything it's not bad i'm literally just coming towards um
36:21the end you know there's a lot of mummy guilt there though because of school obviously i've just
36:25finished college and i said i was going to take a gap here work and spend a bit more time
36:29with khalil
36:29but now i'm contemplating too i just go straight into uni and it's like i feel bad i've not spent
36:33a lot of time with him do you know what i mean don't feel bad also another thing to consider
36:39as
36:39well is when you take that gap here are you gonna be strong willed that you're gonna go back because
36:47you can easily keep saying i'll go i'll go and then it will never come well strong will to go
36:53back to
36:54college so hopefully it's the same when uni comes around if i don't start uni this year then there is
37:03a real possibility that i may just never go back yeah because i don't really have discipline i may
37:08enjoy making money and then now i can just start uni at any point and then just keep pushing it
37:12back and
37:13back you're gonna do what you're gonna do you got this you know your habits under control and i don't
37:24doubt that
37:41it's not kicking your mum now i'm not having it there's a little piece of me that wants to give
37:47you
37:47sympathy teddy you kick mommy again i'll be taking you to naughty corner we're not doing it
37:54my relationship with matt feels really broken
37:59but i'm trying not to think about that today as it's mum's birthday and i've got big plans
38:05so let's go and help when we wrap nanny's presents i have set up a surprise birthday meal for her
38:10so all my family's going to be there just like a little family get together which i think is going
38:14to be really nice for her once again matt's missing out because he's working
38:23right let's go i just want to enjoy the moment with my family i just have a nice time mum
38:30thinks
38:31we're picking up a push chair you look nice she has no idea i've organized a surprise meal with all
38:38the
38:39family they've got a table
38:49happy birthday
38:54hey how are you all doing here
39:01oh i'm supposed to be getting a push chat
39:22i know today is all about my mum
39:29but i need some advice about me and matt
39:35did you like your surprise yeah that was lovely i didn't know nothing about that you've actually
39:39done something yeah i wasn't going to do anything bless you thank you but you you got the kids smart
39:45aren't you i have so i can go to matt yes i'm going to talk to him are you kind
39:49of just want to say
39:50like is he happy yeah why has he been acting like that how do you feel are you still happy
39:57no
40:02it's just hard
40:07but what i've noticed when you've had a chat before is like oh and if you don't like if you're
40:11not happy
40:11leave leave leave then it's over that's all you ever said but then that's yeah but does he ask me
40:16that because he wants me to leave i don't know i really don't get it at the minute he's he
40:21really
40:22is different
40:25the feeling i get that when i'm around them that matt doesn't really want to be with angel anymore
40:29he's more interested in in his work but i feel that's an escape because he's not quite happy in
40:34his relationship what vibe do you hear something you don't want to hear i really care anymore
40:41i'm just done with the whole situation yeah i can't be bothered to argue yeah
40:48you just see what you can get out in the conversation and make me feel at peace a bit more
40:54yeah definitely i think this chat is long river due like we haven't really had
40:59time to actually talk because the times he is home he's sleeping or we just are so busy with the
41:05kids that we don't even ever get time to talk if you don't hear what you want to hear i'm
41:09here to
41:10help you all right i'll always have your back i appreciate that it's a really hard situation
41:16to be honest because we've been together for so long um but i think there is love there
41:21i don't know i i don't know it's hard
41:32do you love it
41:35can you get on oh yeah baby
41:42oh there's someone in there
42:11it's hard for me because i i want to be fully involved he's not a good partner and the fact
42:17that
42:17if i get to do the washout without you know clinging onto my legs and things like that
42:22that's a favor to me like what's going to happen when the new baby comes when she's like three weeks
42:27old yeah i get where you're coming from really bloody awkward i feel like i can't talk i get fed
42:32up of being told like i'm always doing the wrong thing and i feel like that with you i'm not
42:37doing
42:37this i just feel like like every time i try to like speak i just get shut down i love
42:42that but is love
42:43enough to stay if i'm not happy if you've been affected by any of the issues mentioned in this
42:49program please head to our helpline page
42:54you
42:56so
43:08so
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