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00:09BEING A DAB ISN'T JUST FEEDING AND CHANGING.
00:12BUT NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, IT'S NEVER GOING TO BE RIGHT FOR YOU.
00:15I AM SO MUCH BITING MY TONE.
00:17I DON'T CARE. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE.
00:19I HONESTLY FEEL LIKE YOU CHOOSE TO WORK BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO COME HOME.
00:23WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
00:24FIRE!
00:25IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE BEDTIME.
00:30ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?
00:31NO.
00:32ARE YOU FORGETTING THE LIES YOU TOLD ME?
00:34WHAT LIES?
00:35IT WOULD JUST BE NICE TO NOT HAVE TO CALL SOMEONE OUT ALL THE TIME.
00:39IT FEELS LIKE I'M TELLING OFF A TODDLER.
00:40I'VE BEEN LOST BEFORE.
00:42IT'S SO SCARY.
00:44IT'S OFFER.
00:45I HATE GOING TO SCANS BECAUSE OF THE ANXIETY.
00:49WHAT IS IT? IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG?
00:51I FEEL LIKE WITH POTTY TRAINING, HAND TO GOD, I HAVE NOT BEEN AS CONSISTENT AS I SHOULD BE.
00:56ARE YOU DOING MORE?
00:57DO YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE?
00:59TELL MUMMY WHEN YOU'RE ALL DONE, OKAY?
01:00YES.
01:02OH MY GOD, MUMMY'S LOCKED HIMSELF IN THERE.
01:05NO!
01:07OPEN THE DOOR!
01:08OH!
01:09NO!
01:10NO!
01:17NO!'RE
01:25DOINGФー
01:35Baby Kurt is almost two weeks old, and while I love him more every day, things have been really up
01:40and down between me and Tyler.
01:43And living with mum is making things even harder, because she can't keep her nose out, which caused a huge
01:48row last night.
01:54I hate her. I generally do. I'm getting to the point where I don't even want to be here. I'd
01:59rather live somewhere else.
02:01It's my relationship, not hers. She can't tell me who I can and can't work with. She can't tell me
02:06what to do. She's just going to step over it.
02:11Having a C-section has made her feel much harder on me, and mum doesn't think Tyler's been pulling his
02:16weight.
02:17She had a go at him last night, and he walked out on us. So then me and her fell
02:22out, and we haven't talked since.
02:24Well, last night, I was just a full-blown argument.
02:27Why have you took your blanket off?
02:29Obviously, she doesn't like what I say about Tyler. I know I keep saying, I've got to bite my tongue,
02:34I've got to bite my tongue.
02:35But then, something will be said, and I just think, why bother?
02:39But I don't want to lose my daughter, and I don't want to lose my grandson.
02:43So I do need to, sort of, speak to her, and see if we can talk civil.
02:49Can we turn the light on?
02:51Yeah.
02:53About last night, do you think we should, like, have a chat about it?
02:57No.
03:01So where's Tyler now?
03:03Oh, because he's not allowed to come here.
03:07You're angry with me, aren't you?
03:09Yeah.
03:09I don't know what are you at the minute.
03:13The thing is, I can't, like, say, oh, yeah, I really love the lad.
03:17He's this, that, and the other.
03:18He's never done nothing to you.
03:19I just don't feel like he's doing enough.
03:21That's what I'm saying.
03:22I can't be bothered.
03:25What if I have a chat with Tyler?
03:27Because you don't talk, you start shouting like you did last time.
03:29That's what I mean, I have to stop shouting.
03:30No, no.
03:31I'm not being funny.
03:31It's my relationship at the end of the day, not yours.
03:34But it's me and him who's got problems.
03:36No, it's you that's got the problems.
03:38You've got problems with everyone.
03:40I don't?
03:40Yeah, you do.
03:41Just leave him.
03:41I can't bother with you.
03:43So what do you want me to do?
03:45Step away.
03:49What about helping with baby and that?
03:50If he doesn't need any help, I can do it.
03:52I know, but he's still my grandson.
03:53I worship him.
03:54Yeah, but I don't need help with him.
03:56Can I still hold him in that?
03:58Have I ever said that?
04:00Have I ever said you can't hold him?
04:02No, you've not.
04:02No, leave the room, Mum.
04:06No, you've never said that.
04:07No, I've not.
04:08You just ask that.
04:09I'm just asking, that's all.
04:12Don't speak to me.
04:17I just want the best for Leona.
04:19I am a bit to blame.
04:21I am.
04:21I just...
04:23I don't know how I'm feeling.
04:25One minute, I can get on with him dead good, and I see things he's doing, and I'm like,
04:30oh, brilliant.
04:31And then I'll sit down, have a brew and whatnot, and I think, he's a waste of space.
04:38So, I don't know how I feel about him right now.
04:43And this moment's hard, I don't even want to speak to her.
04:45She keeps coming in, trying to make a conversation, and I don't want to talk to her.
04:49There's nothing more to talk about.
04:51She said everything clear last night.
04:53I won't forget anything she's ever said.
04:56Just horrible things that I wouldn't dream of ever saying to someone.
05:01She didn't even grow up more than anyone.
05:23You're going to have a snack when you get home?
05:25Yeah.
05:26Yes, we are.
05:28OK, you don't have a snack.
05:30Today's been a long day.
05:32Khalil's been at nursery and I've been at college.
05:34And with mum being away, it's meant no lifts.
05:41The last thing I can face is toilet training,
05:44but I've been putting it off for months
05:45and the pressure's on at nursery to get him out of nappies.
05:48I got on a squat this first.
05:50But Khalil's having other ideas.
05:55Shall we put some big boy pants on?
05:56Can you sit on your bed for mummy?
05:59No, no, no.
06:00Khalil!
06:01Stop it.
06:02Come and lay down there now, please.
06:05Khalil!
06:09Khalil's being extra Khalil today.
06:11It's as if he's got a twin here with him
06:13and it's double the work that he normally is.
06:16You have got poo-poo in your bum bum.
06:18Lay down.
06:20No!
06:21Khalil!
06:22I don't know what it is today.
06:23Maybe it's something he's eaten.
06:24Maybe he should decide when he woke up.
06:26I'm going to stress mum today.
06:28What?
06:28Yeah.
06:31Yeah, your poo-poo smells.
06:34Don't...
06:35Khalil, stop!
06:36What?
06:40OK, bye.
06:40Let me know when you want to be changed.
06:42I'm not arguing with you.
06:44Bye.
06:46Khalil will not listen to me today,
06:48but I know one person he will listen to.
06:51I'm calling Nana.
06:52I'm calling Nana.
06:53Yeah, I'm calling her
06:54because I'm going to tell her you're being lost.
06:55I call Nana!
06:56No, you're not calling Nana
06:57because you smell of poo and you're not listening.
06:58I call Nana!
06:58Mama?
07:00Hey!
07:02No, we're not his friend at the moment, mum.
07:03He stinks of poo and he won't let me change him.
07:07Khalil!
07:07And he's climbing on the sofas.
07:09Quickly, get him off!
07:10He doesn't listen.
07:11Man, I'm doing everything!
07:13Khalil, come on.
07:14Listen to mummy.
07:15Listen!
07:16Yeah!
07:18Why?
07:19Why?
07:20Can you go and get wipes from mummy, Khalil?
07:22Yeah.
07:23Now, please.
07:24My child doesn't respect me, mum.
07:26He doesn't respect my authority.
07:27I'm still going to check anyway.
07:33And you stay still!
07:36Hold that phone and talk to your Nana.
07:37I don't know.
07:43Khalil, you've got big boy pants on.
07:45Tell mummy if you need to use the toilet, OK?
07:47Toilet.
07:48Do you need to use the toilet now?
07:49Yeah.
07:50Are you lying?
07:52Come on, come with mummy, come on.
07:56No, no, no.
08:01Yeah!
08:02You've done it.
08:03Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake.
08:05Good job.
08:06You've done it.
08:07I'm going to tell Nana you did it.
08:09No, I did it!
08:10Pull up, Dad, for three.
08:16He's going to wash his hands.
08:18Oh, yeah, baby.
08:19He did it!
08:20It hasn't been easy, but Khalil used the toilet, so that's a win for me.
08:31I'm loving you when I had until you're gone.
08:35Until you're gone.
08:36You used to be my issue.
08:38Got that problem solved.
08:39Got that problem solved.
08:40Teddy, can you bring mummy some washing?
08:43Some big things.
08:45Yeah, perfect.
08:46My relationship with Matt has been really up and down recently.
08:50Thank you very much, you sausage bum.
08:53It's just me and the boys again.
08:54As Matt's at work.
08:56I swear I'm superwoman.
08:59Mummy's superwoman.
09:01But I know I really need to talk to him.
09:03I'm finished.
09:05I just want to know that he's happy.
09:07And I want to say that I'm not feeling the happiest at the moment
09:10with just how everything's been going.
09:12But this whole thing has spiralled from the way he was acting with me.
09:14I felt like he didn't love me, so I backed off.
09:17I think it is healthy to get things out in the open,
09:19but sometimes it causes more issues when you say things,
09:25so you just don't bother saying anything.
09:35My mum's looking after the boys today
09:37so that man and I can have some time together.
09:40It's always day though, isn't it?
09:41Yeah.
09:42Finally, the sun.
09:43And I'm working up the courage to speak my mind.
09:49I'm quite nervous about today.
09:51I just feel like I haven't been with Matt in so long
09:55that it's weird.
09:58I feel really uptight.
10:01It's not a nice feeling,
10:02but also it would be nice to be with him as well, I think.
10:07It's very quiet about the kids.
10:11We have one chucking food there, one running away there.
10:14Yes, sir.
10:15I can't believe it's Teddy's birthday next week.
10:17I know we'll have a four-year-old.
10:20You're working.
10:22I feel like, like, we've lost our, like, connection a little bit.
10:25Like, cos you went through a really weird phase with me a few weeks ago
10:29and you were telling me that you don't want to be with a person like me.
10:33And then I've obviously gone cold a little bit
10:36and now you're like, do you even love me?
10:38Nah.
10:38But that's how I felt with you.
10:40I just...
10:42I kept doing little things, like, I would say something.
10:45And you'd just come in and bite my head off and be like, why?
10:48But we're not arguing.
10:49No, I'm just...
10:50I know, but I just think, like, they'd carry on.
10:53That's fine.
10:57I feel really awkward now.
10:59Why?
10:59Cos the way you've reacted.
11:03Is this not all the planned conversation or something?
11:06What do you mean, planned?
11:07This whole thing?
11:08Is this why we're here?
11:10No.
11:10Oh, I just feel, like, ganged up on.
11:13You're not ganged up on.
11:16But I'm obviously even feeling, like, how I've been feeling about it all.
11:19Kids, and when do we ever have a chance to have a conversation?
11:22I agree with that.
11:23Cos you're always at work or we're with battling with the kids,
11:26so if we go out for a day out together,
11:29and I could just bring it up and say how I'm feeling,
11:31so we can squash it...
11:32Yeah.
11:32..or we can work around it.
11:34No, I get that.
11:41Now I'm turning the page.
11:44It's a new day.
11:46My life's shining my way.
11:48Time to face it.
11:50Oh, I'm feeling good.
11:53Hello!
11:54Happy birthday, girl!
11:57Happy birthday.
11:59It's Jack's 23rd birthday,
12:02and I've planned a super-special family day out for us at the aquarium.
12:06It's not my birthday.
12:08It's not your birthday?
12:10No.
12:12Elizabeth Hope, we're really excited about the balloons.
12:14I think Jack was as well.
12:16I'm just really excited to spend the day with them both.
12:20We're going to the aquarium!
12:23Aquarium!
12:23Watch me turn every page to a new day.
12:28Coffee in the day.
12:29Wow!
12:32Oh, my goodness!
12:35It's me, man!
12:37Yeah, do you want to come look in here?
12:39No!
12:41No!
12:42No!
12:43What's up, sweet?
12:45No!
12:47No!
12:49Do you want to take a big belly breath and sit out?
12:51Because that's not how we talk to people.
12:55Do you need to calm down?
12:57No?
12:58Do you want to carry on playing?
13:00Elizabeth Hope is well and truly in her teenage years.
13:03So what do we say?
13:05Right.
13:06Come look in here.
13:07I think you'll like it.
13:09And...
13:10We're figuring it out.
13:12I won't lie.
13:13I'm a bit nervous about what the future holds
13:15juggling a toddler and a newborn.
13:20I feel like she's very much at that age where she's got a mind
13:23and wants of her own.
13:25When you've got the baby, she's all right at sharing,
13:28but I don't think she will want her with the baby.
13:30She just had to learn to be a big sister,
13:33and it won't be easy for her.
13:35I think we all just need to be patient with her.
13:38She's not going to get things right straight away.
13:40Just as long as you tell her when she's not.
13:43But I think there will be times where she gets face up.
13:46It won't be easy, but we'll get through it together.
13:49We can get through anything together.
13:50Yeah.
13:53There's going to be so many challenges for me, Jack,
13:58and Elizabeth Hope when baby boy comes, and for baby boy.
14:01I just think as long as me and Jack keep that open dialogue,
14:05we'll be absolutely fine.
14:07But, you know, it's not going to be easy on sleepless nights.
14:12And we will get things wrong.
14:14We will. It's inevitable.
14:15We get things wrong every single day.
14:17But it's about putting them right and just holding your hands up.
14:24Mommy! Mommy!
14:25No, no, no!
14:26Come on, baby!
14:28Ah!
14:49Can you stack the cups?
14:51One, two, three, four.
14:58What? Uh-oh.
15:01This morning, I went for a baby scan,
15:03and the baby's facing in the wrong direction,
15:06which means there's a high chance I'm going to need another C-section.
15:10And after the trauma of the emergency C-section last time,
15:13it's not the news I want to hear.
15:16I would love to have a really, really natural birth.
15:19I feel like at first me and Valentina really didn't have a bond.
15:22Maybe it was partially because of the C-section.
15:24I didn't get to see and be born.
15:25I didn't get to experience it.
15:26I didn't get to have skin to skin.
15:28I didn't get to see any of his firsts.
15:30I woke up.
15:31He was already dressed.
15:32He'd already had a bottle.
15:32He'd already had a bum change.
15:33He was already, like, in the cot doing his own thing.
15:36Like, he didn't need me.
15:39I don't want another C-section.
15:41I don't want another C-section.
15:41I am literally traumatised from his C-section.
15:44So you can not do anything then, too?
15:46Well, there's, like, a way they can, like, flip the baby,
15:48but apparently it's, like, really painful.
15:49It's obviously, like, massive risks.
15:51Like, it always goes wrong.
15:53It's just, like, they end up getting tangled,
15:55they end up getting stuck.
15:56Her head's under my ribs at the moment.
15:58Oh.
15:58Yeah, I know.
15:59The woman was like,
15:59I can't believe you're not in loads of pain.
16:01It's like, I don't know how you manage it.
16:03There were so many complications last time,
16:06but I had to be put to sleep for his delivery.
16:09It was literally, like, from zero to 100.
16:12It was so normal to, like, so dramatic.
16:16Valentino didn't take a first breath for 15 minutes.
16:19I hemorrhaged after being woken up
16:21and had to go back into theatre.
16:24I can remember just, like, 20 people coming in,
16:27swarming around me.
16:27I couldn't even see you.
16:29And then the next thing I knew I was, like, in theatre.
16:33There was no time to even process
16:35what they'd just said to me.
16:37I remember I was crying and I, like, shouted forever
16:39and I was told he couldn't come.
16:42By the time I came round,
16:43it just felt like I'd missed out on so much.
16:49We didn't even get to have skin-to-skin or nothing.
16:51I didn't even really feel like I'd actually, like, had him.
16:54Like, it didn't feel real, did it?
17:01She wants a normal pregnancy.
17:02She wanted that the first time
17:04that she felt pregnant with Tina.
17:07But she felt like she got it taken away, basically,
17:10robbed off her,
17:11that it didn't go exactly how she wanted it.
17:13So it'd be nice for her to experience the pregnancy
17:16in her own way and get a real feeling.
17:18What do you think?
17:19I'm pretty still, like, 28 weeks.
17:21There's plenty of time for her to flip.
17:23Yeah.
17:24Plenty of time.
17:42I'm trying to talk to Matt about our relationship,
17:44because I don't feel he wants to be with me anymore.
17:47But I'm not getting the answers I was hoping for.
17:51I'm really bloody awkward. I feel like I can't talk.
17:53Why?
17:54I just feel like you shut me down so much.
17:57We need to have, like, conversations like this
17:59to be able to make things work,
18:00because I'm struggling.
18:02You don't know how you're feeling.
18:04It's just, at the moment, Ainge, no matter what we do,
18:07it is going to be our,
18:08because we've gone from having a child
18:11who was starting to be independent on his own,
18:13then getting our time back together, yeah,
18:16to having a newborn baby again,
18:18going through the whole stages again.
18:21Our relationship has been put on the back burner,
18:23and that's not...
18:24It's not good.
18:26What more do you want?
18:27Like, with parents,
18:30it's OK if you feel like this,
18:32and it's not a problem, but, like...
18:33I know what you're saying,
18:34but some days I get fed up of being told, like,
18:36I'm always doing the wrong thing,
18:37and it pisses me off.
18:38And I feel like that with you.
18:40I'm not doing this.
18:41I'm not sitting here and just feeling like
18:42everything I say, there's always something wrong, like...
18:44I...
18:46You brought me out of here, right?
18:48Clearly it just feels like to have this conversation,
18:50not to spend any time,
18:51because all we've done is to speak about this.
18:53I just want to come out and have a nice meal,
18:55chat with you, have a nice talk.
18:56And I wanted to just talk to you so we could clear the air,
18:58we could go home and be happy.
19:00I can't be arsed for it, Ainge.
19:01It's just all the time.
19:06And I just...
19:07And I just wanted to speak about how I was feeling.
19:10Yeah, but that's all we spoke about this whole time you've been here.
19:12But let's talk about...
19:12No, I don't want to talk.
19:13I want to go now.
19:15No, then.
19:16No, I won't.
19:20Why do we have to let everyone know in about everything, Ainge?
19:23I can't do this.
19:35I just feel like, like, every time I try to, like, speak,
19:38I just get shut down and, like, there's always a reason why we can't talk.
19:49I just want to go home.
20:10I just want to go home.
20:13I have got some pamper stuff.
20:17I'm going to have girls' night.
20:18What colour do you need one?
20:19I want pink.
20:21Pink.
20:22Please?
20:23When I was pregnant with Elizabeth Hope, it was always just me and my mum.
20:26So while Jack's away on a lad's due for his birthday, we're having a girly sleepover.
20:31We're at grandma's house today and we've got our matching jimmy jammies on.
20:37Yeah.
20:40I've been struggling a lot with my endo, so it's a relief to have my mum looking after
20:44me again, like the old days.
20:46We can.
20:47Grandma, I can see.
20:51Girls' night!
20:53Whoo!
20:55Nice.
20:56Do you think baby brother will like that?
20:58Yeah.
21:00Oh, that's lovely.
21:02That's a nice massage.
21:05How have you been pain-wise and pregnancy?
21:08I went out to the aquarium the other day with Jack and literally the next day I couldn't
21:14move.
21:15Really?
21:15I was in so much pain.
21:19It sucks.
21:20And Jack's supportive.
21:22I couldn't have asked for anything else from him.
21:25Yeah.
21:25When I've been in pain and he sees me like all tense in the head, he's like,
21:30babe, relax.
21:32And I'm like, you're going to be such a good birthing partner.
21:36Like, aw.
21:37Obviously when I go into labour I still want you there, but more for the role of
21:41watching her, because I want her as involved as possible.
21:44I'm really excited to get the phone call to come down and do what is
21:50just to get all zen and relaxed and make sure that you're okay.
21:57That's Jack's job.
21:59Your job is to watch her.
22:02And if I need my mummy, I'll let you know.
22:05But it's important to me and Jack that it's our moment.
22:12You're mainly there to be our support system with her.
22:16And, you know, if I need you, you're there.
22:19Yeah.
22:19But I think Jack's got there.
22:22The truth is, the truth is.
22:27I know if I'd have just asked her to be there, she'd have been, like, elbows
22:30deep in my floof, like she was last time.
22:34And I definitely want Jack to feel like he's my birthing partner
22:39and he's there to support me.
22:41As much as, like, it's nice to see you settled and doing it all yourself,
22:46it's hard for me.
22:48You know, I want to be a part of it all, which I'm going to be a part of
22:50it just in a different way.
22:52Wow.
22:52It is going to be in a different way because I don't...
22:54We don't want to take that away from Jack because it's his baby.
22:57And if, say, he's struggling to do counter pressure,
23:01don't just take over, show him how to do it.
23:03You know what I mean?
23:03Yeah, yeah.
23:07With Chloe's pregnancy, it's obviously been very different this time.
23:11With Elizabeth Hope, I was there every single step of the way,
23:14holding her hand.
23:15I caught her as she come out of Chloe.
23:18It was a special moment, you know?
23:20And I just hope all that happens again.
23:23It is a fear that I'm not going to have as much of a bond
23:27with a baby boy.
23:29But I'm sure everything will work out.
23:33Oh, birds and legs!
23:35You're not so small anymore, you're a big girl!
23:39We'll always be our baby.
23:41I really miss you.
23:49Whispers in the corner there
23:51Talking about me like a cat
23:54Hate it cos they can't compare
23:58Oh, look, it's exciting!
24:01Get excited!
24:02It looks straight in and it's a cop, Mum.
24:05Oh, stop moaning!
24:08It looks like hospital beds all lined up, didn't it?
24:11Well, yeah, what did you expect it was going to be like
24:12when you wanted a bed like that?
24:15Mum and Aaron have been setting up the new cot
24:17and the reality of being a mum to two kids is really sinking in.
24:22I know Amelia is properly stressing out at the moment,
24:25but, you know, she's very highly strung anyway,
24:27so we all just go, ooh, back off,
24:31and then, yeah, we just let her crack on with it.
24:33I hate it, I really don't like it.
24:35Why?
24:36It just looks cramped, Aaron.
24:37You're not in there half your life.
24:38Half my life is in that room.
24:40And it's horrible, mate.
24:42Doesn't look too bad.
24:44I think the news that I might need a C-section
24:47is also making me worry about how I'm going to cope
24:50when the baby comes, and Aaron's not pulling his weight.
24:55When he wants to play and wants to do things,
24:57he's amazing with Valentino,
24:59but he's not a good partner,
25:01and the fact that if I was to ask him,
25:04can you do this with Valentino so I can get five minutes to myself,
25:06he sees it as, like, he's doing a favour for me.
25:10Like, if I get to do the washing up without, you know,
25:13clinging onto my legs and things like that,
25:15that's a favour to me.
25:20It's Aaron's day off today,
25:21so we're taking Tina out to soft play,
25:24our favourite spot for family time.
25:26It feels like time and money are tight as it is,
25:29so I need Aaron to step up
25:31and think more realistically about the future.
25:46What's going to happen when the new baby comes,
25:49when she's, like, three weeks old,
25:50and I can't take them both swimming when she's only three weeks?
25:55So what's going to happen then?
25:57Yeah, I get where you're coming from.
25:58I haven't really got anyone else to help.
26:01Obviously, there's you and mum, but you both work.
26:03And that's it, that's all I've got.
26:05So when it comes to...
26:06Yeah, but once Sid Boy, I'm going to try and get...
26:10That's what I'm saving up on more holidays.
26:11It would just be nice if, like,
26:13when it comes to your one day off,
26:15we could 100% do something,
26:17because when it comes to that one day off,
26:19if I say let's go swimming,
26:20you're like, it's my one day off of the week,
26:22I want to chill.
26:28He's never going to change.
26:29That's just the way Aaron is.
26:30He does what Aaron wants,
26:32and he does his own thing.
26:33That's the way it is.
26:34So I've had to learn.
26:35I've just got to accept it
26:37if I want any time to myself ever.
26:39The only thing I'm dreading with your hours,
26:42and I am actually dreading this,
26:43is bedtimes.
26:44I'm going to be alone at bedtime.
26:46How am I going to put two babies to sleep
26:48because they're going to be around the same age?
26:49They're going to be going to bed at the same time.
26:51He still needs cuddling to sleep.
26:53She'll need cuddling to sleep.
26:56How am I doing it?
26:57Either do a week off kind of thing,
27:01or just can't work late evenings anymore
27:03till, like, eight, nine, single o'clock time.
27:06Then that means having no days off
27:07because your hours would get cut in half doing that.
27:11But you've got...
27:12I mean, you know what I mean?
27:13I can't do anything about that.
27:14Or it's maybe looking into getting
27:15a different type of job.
27:17Stop cheffing.
27:18Why doesn't Daddy do something else?
27:23Do you know?
27:25At least he sees now that there is a problem,
27:28but we're still not really any closer
27:31to finding a solution.
27:32I think something's gonna change.
27:50Look.
27:51No, look.
27:52Wow.
27:54Look.
27:54New pants.
27:55He's got pants too.
27:57Do you like them?
27:58Look, Teddy's got pants too.
27:59Yeah.
28:00Everyone's got pants.
28:02Yeah.
28:02Yeah, Muffy's wearing pants.
28:04I'm on a mission to get Kahlil toilet trained, but it's one step forward and two steps back at the
28:13moment.
28:19Oh dear!
28:21Did you say oh dear?
28:22What happened?
28:23No, no, no, stand there, wait!
28:25Do not touch me, I love you, but do not touch me.
28:28Have you had an accident?
28:32Look, it's too late to use the toilet, let mommy clean your bum bum please.
28:35Look, you've already done the poo-poo!
28:40Wait, wait!
28:43You need to tell mommy when you need to do poo-poo, okay?
28:50Today was one of the more frustrating days of toilet training.
28:53Whether Kahlil has accidents or not, and I feel like giving up on some days, I'm obviously going to still
28:57persevere.
28:58He's shown so many times that he's ready to use the toilet, and it's just a case of us continuing
29:03and continuing until he's finally got the hang of it.
29:05So, yeah, we're going to persevere no matter what.
29:11Between juggling motherhood and college, I don't get much time for myself.
29:15But I've had an idea, and I'm hoping I can change that.
29:19So, I've had this idea to do this whole Mums Club thing for a while, and today I finally get
29:23to meet with the girls kid-free, so we can talk without any interruption.
29:27Hey!
29:29Hey!
29:30Are you, babe?
29:30I'm okay.
29:31Hey, girls!
29:33Hi!
29:33What time do you call this, mate?
29:35What time do you call this, mate?
29:37What time do you call this, mate?
29:42This is so nice.
29:43There's no screaming children.
29:45There's no...
29:46Mum!
29:47Mum!
29:47Oh, yeah.
29:48I look forward to that.
29:49They'll tug at you like this.
29:50Mum!
29:51Mum!
29:51That's why I'm excited for the newborn to just go out and just have her just in the pram next
29:54to me.
29:54I miss the newborn stage.
29:56You put them on the bed.
29:57They don't move.
29:58They just...
29:59I was thinking, we're going to start a Mums Club.
30:03That sounds like a great idea.
30:05Just maybe an hour every week or every two weeks without our kids where we can just do something.
30:09Yeah.
30:10Just bond as mums.
30:11Because as much as we see each other, we only see each other with our kids.
30:14With kids.
30:14We never actually get to do this very often.
30:16Even if they're just coming to a cafe, talk about our week and then go back to our feral kids.
30:20Yeah.
30:20Yeah, I'm up for it.
30:26I just want this to be a really fun thing for mums.
30:28Even if it just means an hour every fortnight or every week when we're all three with no kids,
30:34we just go and do something fun for us.
30:36Cheers!
30:37Cheers to Mum Club!
30:38Cheers to Mum Club!
30:39Cheers!
30:57At first it was just me, you and Grandma.
31:01And then Mummy met Jack.
31:02And now it's going to be me, you, Jack Jack and baby brother.
31:09It's been a great sleepover, reliving the old days when I was pregnant with Elizabeth Hope and still living at
31:15Mum's.
31:17It's been really nice and I think Elizabeth Hope's really enjoyed having all three of us together.
31:22Because even though I don't think she remembers the time that we lived here now,
31:25I think it's very much in her subconscious memories in who she is today,
31:31especially with who she is today with my mum.
31:33So many places I could go.
31:36But as nice as it's been, Jack's still away on his lads weekend,
31:39so I'm really looking forward to getting home and having some chill time with Elizabeth Hope.
31:44I don't need much to make her home.
31:48Can you cut that up my...my hand?
31:52Hey, do you want to stay at Grandma's tonight?
31:57Yeah. Me and you.
31:59Er, maybe.
32:02I'm so excited to die.
32:05Shall I keep her tonight?
32:07You're going to have to now, you've told me you will.
32:12I can't say no if she wants to.
32:15So do you want to stay here tonight with me?
32:17And we'll have some fun, me and you?
32:20Yeah.
32:21Yeah.
32:22OK. Deal.
32:24Am I being kicked out now?
32:25Er, well, you can stay, but I'd prefer it if you weren't here,
32:28because she goes to you for everything.
32:31It's lovely having you here, don't get me wrong,
32:33but, like, I want to look after her
32:34and she doesn't come to me for anything when you're here.
32:37Yeah, because she needs to look after me.
32:39Feels like I'm going in circles.
32:42Mum wants Elizabeth Hope again tonight
32:44to have a bit of one-on-one time with her.
32:47Erm...
32:48And, obviously, she asked Elizabeth Hope first,
32:50so because she asked Elizabeth Hope first
32:52and Elizabeth Hope said yes, that's what we'll have to learn.
32:54I love that she won't spend time with her.
32:56But it's my baby.
32:59I'm not good at sharing.
33:01I don't know if I should go or I should stay.
33:04So what's your plan, then?
33:07I feel like I'm being kicked out.
33:09No, you're not being kicked out.
33:11You stay as long as you want.
33:12But tonight, I'm having her.
33:15And then I'll just drop her off tomorrow.
33:20I just think I definitely used to be the favourite child,
33:23and as soon as I birthed my own,
33:26I got demoted from that spot very fast.
33:28Mum wants Elizabeth Hope by herself tonight.
33:31And, obviously, like, if...
33:37Erm...
33:37Because I have a lot of anxiety about being alone.
33:41Because...
33:42What if I'm in pain and I collapse and stuff like that?
33:45So...
33:45I don't know.
33:49Come on, Mum.
33:51Come on!
33:52Ever too big for us?
33:54Come on!
33:54Look at that!
33:55Oh!
33:56Look at that!
33:58Come on!
33:59Come on!
33:59Come on, look at that!
34:00Come on!
34:01Come on!
34:02Come on, baby!
34:04Come on, baby!
34:07Come on, baby!
34:08Come on!
34:12Come on!
34:13Come on, baby!
34:13You know I've been waiting for years.
34:17I'm tired of waiting for you.
34:21Look at this.
34:22beep beep beep beep beep beep beep me mum and Tyler still aren't talking since he stormed out
34:28yesterday I thought it would just blow over as we plan to give Carter's first bath tonight but
34:35Tyler's just texted saying to go ahead with writing obviously I didn't think Tyler was
34:40gonna call and help me he said doesn't want to know I'm really sad he's missing out on such a
34:46big moment but even though I'm still not happy with how she spoke to Tyler at least I know I
34:51can always rely on my mum to be there for us I feel like putting her in water but she
34:56will
34:57only she'll always do something no matter what are you smiling you little monkey grandma can't
35:02drive it we're a bit stuck what are you doing I'm showing my house but I can't I can't drive
35:11it
35:11honestly I message Tyler obviously saying like I'm going to bathroom and like oh yeah and you say
35:18you don't want to see me I'll be there all right okay I don't mean to help you bathroom
35:26you want mummy and grandma to be friends I know I've said something that are wrong things and I will
35:34try and make it right it's not that easy just to give everything no obviously like me and the only
35:41he's still got a bit of making up to do and things like oh look at him but she knows
35:50I know she knows
35:52that it doesn't matter how many times we fall out she can show it mum and I will come running
36:10oh it's okay I was absolutely made up she asked me to help she seemed really organized and
36:17everything I'll give me what panicking more well yeah I loved it loved it right now it's a little
36:35washed and he's a little bit fresher in it how do you feel like talent's not been here for it
36:43it hurts
36:45but there's nothing I can't force him to be here for it because obviously like we fell out me and
36:50him or is that what it's about because of me and him he doesn't feel like he can come into
36:54the
36:55house and see him if you want if you want to come around I can nip out for an hour
37:00it's your house I know but I know mine I can nip out can I we could explain to him
37:05like I know I'm
37:07out of order and that's still not going to work though is it but I'm trying to make things right
37:14for the big mess I've made it's not going to be right now what is he you actually want though
37:20now
37:20do you know most important I want to be there for here for Carter yeah but what about you like
37:25you
37:26and Tyler together well the last thing I'm thinking about at the minute the fact that
37:35Tyler's not coming I don't know it's made me just feel a bit useless in a kind of way because
37:39I did
37:39think he'd still show up for him and stuff like that it's a bit of a letdown really I don't
37:47know
37:47what the situation is with me and Tyler at the minute he's meant to live here but then no he's
37:51not
37:52living here you start fear of me I need to know what's happening obviously it's hard of doing
37:58it alone I shouldn't be doing it alone Teddy that's dangerous no that's really really dangerous
38:22after I finally told Matt how I was feeling the other day things are worse than ever he's even
38:28told me to leave him if I'm not happy luckily he works so much that I barely see him when
38:34Matt says
38:35that if I'm not happy I should just leave makes it feel quite sad because I feel like the pressures
38:40on me like he's the one that's was not happy then he's made me unhappy because he was unhappy and
38:46I
38:46just feel like we're just going around in circles and it just makes me feel so sad that he'd rather
38:52me just give up we're gonna go to Nanny's house we're gonna go get some dinner I don't know what's
38:57on the cards for mine and Matt's relationship I just think that's something that will come in time and
39:02off we'll figure out between us we're going to my mum's to stay over tonight I feel like I need
39:08to be
39:09around someone that actually wants to spend some time with me oh hi Ainge how are you then I see
39:21really I'm all right what happened after you met up with Matt he walked out on me but he just
39:27didn't
39:27want that conversation how has it been since then but he was like you're clearly not happy are you and
39:33I
39:33I was like well no I'm not happy he was like you don't want to be in me anymore you
39:38really don't
39:38want to be with me because the way you've been you've never acted like this before I mean that's
39:43when you should turn around and say you've made me feel like that you've made me feel like this all
39:47I want in life is somebody to appreciate me for me that that should be natural it shouldn't you should
39:59be saying anyway too much I just get the feeling he's not happy and he doesn't want what he's got
40:11I think it was absolutely disgusting the way Matt walked out on Angel when they were just trying to
40:16have a conversation with him and she's not appreciated for what she does for the boys and
40:22it's only a certain amount of time that she could put up with it she deserves to feel loved and
40:26wanted
40:27and have a better life really I think we're stuck in a rut yeah I don't think either of us
40:34wants to
40:34leave or admit because it's scary the next step is scary it's not that it's like and it's not like
40:40I
40:40want to I wanted it to change and I was still I'm just don't want to say anything because I'm
40:45hoping
40:45it all goes back to normal I know love for that didn't even cry because that's how I did it
40:50for years
40:53if I stay like I feel like I'm wasting so much of myself but if I go I feel like
41:00I'm not giving the
41:02boys the life they deserve yeah but listening just feel like they need a family life like if an angel
41:13a happy family life they don't need that that to feel it there the energy in the room yeah I
41:24feel
41:25alone and I'm in a relationship well there you go that's your answer is there isn't it
41:44good boy I love you I love you too I love you all I love you all I love you
41:56I don't you're a strong girl
41:59I love you I just said give me two minutes no it's right I'll just I'll just try to get
42:08in the bag
42:08off if you're swearing under your breath at me my head's telling me to go and just do it on
42:14my own
42:14because what do you have yeah but do you have a little surprise that I've been meaning to tell
42:19you I have booked us a holiday you're not getting holiday for me while I'm a student we need to
42:25be
42:25better people but it's not just me it's you as well it's the both of us what do I need
42:30to start
42:30it you tell me that your attitude I don't want anyone touching any decorations until I am done
42:36because if anything is broken or ruined I'm not gonna be happy it's definitely tension up in the air
42:42everything is ruined so I'm gonna be doing it on Saturday I'm gonna be proposing
42:49oh my god I can't believe it I'm so excited for you both
42:56if you've been affected by any of the issues mentioned in this program please head to our helpline
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