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00:00Now you two, are you on a first date?
00:03We, yeah, we are.
00:04We are?
00:05We are.
00:10No one else would want to spend it with.
00:11I don't know about you guys, I now have 18 questions.
00:14Where did you, where did you meet?
00:16We met at Gaines Run Club, which is essentially 200 gay men
00:21running down the Thames on a Saturday morning.
00:23Hot.
00:23Yeah, and I was like really sweaty and beetroot faced.
00:28Yeah.
00:28And he asked me out.
00:31And here you are.
00:32Here we are.
00:33I feel good about this.
00:34I've got a good feeling about it.
00:35If you do get married, are we all invited?
00:38You're officiating it.
00:40Fine.
00:41I really hope this is your last date.
00:43Um.
00:44Um.
00:45Um.
00:46Um.
00:48Um.
01:12Um.
01:14Um.
01:15Um.
01:15Um.
01:25Um.
01:30Um.
01:36Um.
01:44Um.
01:50Um.
02:12Um.
02:12Um.
02:16Um.
02:18Um.
02:18Um.
02:18Um.
02:18Um.
02:21Um.
02:24Um.
02:33Um.
02:34Um.
02:41Um.
02:54Um.
03:01Um.
03:03Um.
03:06Um.
03:07Don't lie.
03:07I'm shitting myself Claudia.
03:08No.
03:09I'll be honest.
03:10You should be.
03:11I have quite a few things to bring up with you.
03:13But.
03:14I'm sure.
03:15Before that.
03:16It was St. Patrick's Day this week.
03:18Niall.
03:19St. Patrick's Day.
03:20Is it a big deal?
03:21In your world?
03:22Yeah.
03:23We.
03:23We.
03:24I think.
03:24How powerful Ireland is like culturally around the world.
03:28I'm like a little flag bearer going around.
03:30Aren't we?
03:30Two of us just going around London.
03:32Just going we're from Ireland.
03:33Um.
03:34We love being Irish.
03:36So we're happy to celebrate any day to be honest.
03:38But Paddy's Day is another excuse isn't it?
03:40Um.
03:41It's definitely grown legs worldwide.
03:43We're kind of the favourite.
03:44We're the favourite.
03:45Yeah the favourite.
03:46And you know I know that.
03:47Because I did a bit of digging.
03:49And the passport.
03:50The Irish passport.
03:51Is the most expensive passport.
03:53On the dark web.
03:55I swear to God.
03:57Guess how much it's worth.
03:58Go on.
03:59200 grand.
04:00You can sell them.
04:01Niall.
04:02You can sell yours when you run out of money.
04:04Now I don't have the dark web.
04:05But once I figure out how to get on that.
04:07I'm going to sell mine.
04:09And drive around in a Lamborghini made of lobster bound.
04:11While some Russian gangster guy is going through American immigration without a bother on him.
04:17I might not look like her.
04:19Yeah.
04:19But I am her.
04:20Yeah you just get the bangs.
04:21Big shoulder pads.
04:22You'd be grand.
04:23Yeah.
04:23Done.
04:24Do you have, do you love Ireland?
04:27I mean I love it but I don't 200 grand love it.
04:29Yeah.
04:31Do you like it?
04:32Yeah I like it.
04:32It's nice.
04:34So Rachel your best friend is your biggest fan.
04:39Which I'm sure you get this a lot.
04:41When I was growing up and One Direction was getting very popular.
04:44I was getting into Les Miserables.
04:46So I wasn't really.
04:48Me too.
04:49I've seen it multiple times.
04:50Yes.
04:51Of course.
04:51And my best friend when I was a kid, I've known her since I was one.
04:55Her name is Carly and she had a cardboard cut out of you in her bedroom.
05:00So when we had sleepovers, do you know who watched me sleep?
05:05Ohhhh.
05:06It's all coming back.
05:08It's all coming back to me now.
05:11It really.
05:13Quite intense.
05:14Hello to her.
05:16Hi Carly.
05:17Hello Carly.
05:17Hi Diva.
05:18Hi Diva.
05:19Hi Diva.
05:23Now we need to talk about the new album.
05:25Yes.
05:33It's called Dinner Party.
05:34We have a visual here.
05:37Ohhhh.
05:40There she is.
05:41Oh my god.
05:42Guys, I'm not anti it but is this going to happen all night?
05:47Yes.
05:47Um, yeah.
05:49OK.
05:50And the Singles Dinner Party, it's out I believe now.
05:53And it was written about a very short time.
05:56It was a very special dinner party wasn't it?
05:58Yeah.
05:59I wrote this song.
06:00The lyric kind of does, it's like Ronsell, it does exactly what it says in the tin.
06:04It tells you exactly what happened from the night I met my girlfriend.
06:10Ohhhh.
06:10She was a late...
06:11You're not screaming now.
06:12LAUGHTER
06:14Um, she, uh, yeah, she was like a late addition to a party that I was at.
06:18And, um, yeah, I just got chatting to her, offered her a drink, we got chatting.
06:22Um, she says that we didn't kiss that night.
06:26I disagree.
06:26I think we did.
06:27LAUGHTER
06:28And, uh, it's one of those things that you don't expect to be writing about,
06:34like a big once in a lifetime moment and it kind of happened to me,
06:36which is pretty cool.
06:37So, I got to write about it.
06:39Can I also just say, the energy since you mentioned your incredible partner
06:42has changed in this...
06:44LAUGHTER
06:44Yes!
06:45Before, it was all like, whoa, Niall!
06:48As soon as you brought her off, Niall...
06:51Don't mention it.
06:51I wasn't going to bring it up, of course.
06:53I wasn't going to bring it up.
06:54It's going very quiet in here.
06:57By the way, I just met her, she's...
06:59This is going to make it worse.
07:00Divine!
07:02LAUGHTER
07:02APPLAUSE
07:02Oh, I'm very happy to see you again!
07:04APPLAUSE
07:05There we go!
07:06APPLAUSE
07:08Do you like a dinner party?
07:10I'm nervous of a dinner party.
07:12I don't want a napkin in the shape of a swan.
07:15Yeah.
07:16Or a play set.
07:17I'm just worried that I'm going to do something wrong.
07:18Do you love a dinner party?
07:20It's something that I've definitely gotten into the older I've gotten.
07:23It's one of those things...
07:24Mm-hm.
07:24It's a coming-of-age thing, isn't it?
07:26Yes.
07:27Having a dinner party.
07:28Like, I mean, I just sat down for dinner and kind of throw a pizza in the oven or something,
07:32generally.
07:32But now that I'm older, I have dinner parties, obviously.
07:37Um...
07:38You two?
07:39Where do we stand on dinner parties?
07:41I can't...
07:43I can't cook shit.
07:45LAUGHTER
07:46Why would I remove jobs from the hard-working people at Nando's?
07:50There's no niece.
07:51LAUGHTER
07:52I go to them, I receive my food, it's a wonderful transaction.
07:55And there's no dinner parties in my house, I've got five kids, man.
07:59LAUGHTER
07:59Wow!
08:00I, um, I'll attend, I won't host.
08:03I use my airfire to hold my keys.
08:05Do you bring food?
08:06Will you, like, do a potluck sort of thing?
08:08OK.
08:09I'll arrive when the food has been done and just, and the party is beginning.
08:12Yeah.
08:12Right.
08:13And I'm the same as you.
08:14Deliveroo, this is highly embarrassing, but obviously we're in it now,
08:19contacted me and asked me if I'd like a business account,
08:22because they thought I was a company.
08:23LAUGHTER
08:24I swear to God.
08:26My problem with Deliveroo is I'll do an order,
08:28you know you're in trouble when they deliver it with, like,
08:31four sets of chopsticks.
08:33And I'm like...
08:33Just me and my bed!
08:35LAUGHTER
08:36I'll eat the noodles with my hands, thanks for coming.
08:39LAUGHTER
08:40Now, we have got a clip of the song.
08:44One kiss on your neck, it was so concrete
08:48I'm done looking for somebody
08:53Behind closed doors
08:56Things I've never felt before
08:59Crashing lights when you first saw me
09:04Yeah, I met you at a dinner party
09:08Shaking the leaves, drinking coffee
09:12Yeah, I met you at a dinner party
09:27Please tell us the details of the single, the name, and when it's out.
09:31And then we can go who hot.
09:32The single is the dinner party, it's out today, and the album is coming very soon.
09:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
09:44Um, Niall, I found out some other information about you, which I'm obsessed by
09:48More information about me?
09:49For Vogue, you went through your beauty routine
09:53Oh, jeez
09:54I...
09:56Look at that!
09:57Correct
09:57And by the way, it would not fit on these cards
10:01Not even small font
10:03I bought a clipboard
10:06A clipboard!
10:07There are 22 steps
10:08Wait
10:09One
10:10You light a candle to set the tone
10:13Why?
10:14I explained, give me a minute
10:16Go on
10:16I'll give her half an hour
10:17No, I was going to say
10:18No
10:19Ford, there's a cold water splash
10:21Pardon
10:23Number nine is you play with big silver balls
10:26LAUGHTER
10:28There are so many
10:29Tell me what you actually do
10:31I do quite a few of them, to be fair
10:32I'm quite, I'm quite big into the skincare
10:34Do the ice water in the morning
10:36Three or four dunks
10:39LAUGHTER
10:40Action, I'm going to action all the time
10:42Are you ready?
10:43We've got it
10:43A couple of moisturisers and like
10:46Two moisturisers?
10:47A serum and moisturiser
10:48Have a spray
10:49Well, it's like a cold plunge for your face
10:51Yeah
10:52It's fucking freezing
10:53He's actually 72 years old
10:54Yeah
10:55Wow
10:55He looks amazing
10:57I know it, I don't know
10:58You did?
10:59I'm so impressed
11:00I'm used to dealing with lads who've cleaned their face with a scrub daddy
11:02I've never met anyone with this
11:05It's every
11:07I need to move up in the world
11:09Sorry, Scott
11:10Yeah
11:12Guys
11:12What are you doing in the morning?
11:14By the way, look how immaculate that skin is
11:16I want to have this
11:17You know, but like I wash my face
11:20LAUGHTER
11:21Sometimes
11:21You know, sometimes
11:22Some mornings it's hard
11:23My wife puts that
11:25Is it like a black head strip?
11:27What is that?
11:28Black head strip
11:29I don't know what it is
11:30But every time
11:31Every time she puts it on
11:33She insists that she's the one to take it off
11:36And when she peels it
11:37She does the same thing every time
11:38She peels it, looks at it and says
11:40Disgusting
11:41LAUGHTER
11:42So satisfying
11:43Just so you know
11:44Yeah, very satisfying though
11:46Does she rip it off
11:46Like quick
11:47Or slow?
11:49It depends on the mood
11:50Got it
11:51Got it
11:51I think what I'm...
11:52My plan is to
11:55Two-step skincare
11:56And then just eventually get a gorgeous Korean facelift
11:59Yeah
11:59Wow
12:01How...
12:01We can all be doing it
12:02Yeah
12:03I want it
12:04They just yank you off
12:05Yeah, they yank you off
12:06Yeah, yank you right off
12:08The problem is
12:08Where did the folds go?
12:09Who cares about the folds?
12:10Oh, OK
12:11Goes into the back of your ears
12:12Right
12:12I love my eyes on my head
12:14I want so much plastic surgery
12:15When they cremate me
12:16I won't burn
12:16I'll just...
12:18LAUGHTER
12:19It's just milk
12:20It's just milk
12:23I can't wait
12:25It's good, it's good
12:27It's good
12:27It's good
12:28It's amazing
12:28Remember those crisp packets in the 90s
12:30You to put in the oven
12:31They just shrink
12:31Yeah
12:32That would be me
12:33Fingers crossed
12:34That's my goal
12:35Yeah
12:36It's a good goal
12:37I like it
12:37Thank you
12:38I want my eyes on the top of my head
12:39That was brilliant
12:41I want my ass on my back
12:42That's what I want
12:44I'm following you
12:45Yeah, of course
12:47Rachel
12:48You're back in the UK
12:49Back in the Palladium
12:51Yeah
12:51And you're here for a very special week of concerts
12:54Yeah, I'm doing a week of concerts
12:56Of the 25th anniversary of the musical
12:58The last five years
12:59With my good friend Ben Platt
13:01Yeah, we are
13:02There's our faces
13:03There we are
13:04And it's so, so special
13:06Because it's directed by the writer and composer Jason Robert Brown
13:10Who will also be on stage conducting, playing piano
13:13All those things
13:14And I've just been dying at the opportunity to work with my good friend Ben
13:17And I'm so excited
13:18So good
13:18What I love is when I came to see you earlier you were like
13:21I was watching Ben sing today
13:22He was amazing
13:23It's just...
13:24It's actually disgusting
13:25Like...
13:26It's offensive
13:27I'm mad about it
13:28Yeah, you get it
13:29It's like
13:30It's one of those things where you watch your friends be talented
13:33And you're just...
13:34It's revolting
13:36I want to push him down the stairs
13:38Let's not do that
13:39But he'll feel the same way about you
13:41He will
13:42Maybe
13:43He really will
13:44I don't
13:46Please tell me when we can come and see the concert
13:49Tuesday, March 24th through March 29th at the London Palladium
13:54It's so exciting
13:55I can't wait
13:55I cannot wait
13:56Can I come?
13:57Fantastic
13:57Yeah, you can go
14:05You at the Palladium, we have to talk about Avita
14:08You've just been nominated for an Olivier Award
14:10Congratulations
14:11Thank you
14:12Thank you
14:16Thank you
14:17Um
14:18Yeah, there she is
14:19This is when you came out to the balcony
14:21Yeah
14:22And you sang
14:22When they first told you that idea
14:25Were you like
14:25Don't be ridiculous guys?
14:26Oh no, I was like
14:27Whatever we need to do
14:28Let's make it happen
14:29It was beyond my wildest dreams
14:30I never could have imagined
14:31There were more people
14:33On closing night outside
14:34Than there were sat inside
14:35Wow
14:36Unbelievable
14:37Wow
14:37There were like 3,000 people
14:39I think outside for the final night
14:40It went all the way down
14:41To the IKEA
14:42On
14:44You guys
14:45Yeah
14:46Yeah
14:46Yeah
14:47And it was unbelievable
14:48And there's 2,200 seats
14:49In the Palladium roughly
14:50Wow
14:51So it was amazing
14:52And were there some nights
14:53That really stuck with you?
14:54Pride
14:55Yeah
14:56Was amazing
14:56Because everyone was so hammered
15:00That they were singing along
15:02Incorrectly
15:04I had a
15:05We could see the building across from me
15:07On Argyle Street
15:08Which was like
15:08It's a building with restaurants
15:09There's offices I'm sure
15:11Um
15:11And there was somebody who
15:13Stood in the stairwell
15:14And just kind of mimicked my every move
15:17In my direct eye line
15:19It was hysterical
15:20I have to give kudos
15:20I don't know who they are
15:22Kudos to that man
15:23Thank you
15:24You saw Rachel didn't you?
15:26I did
15:26Crazy
15:26Yeah
15:27Why would you do that?
15:28I really know
15:28It was the hottest ticket in town
15:29I had to pull a lot of strings
15:32To get in
15:33It was
15:33Phenomenal
15:34If it makes you feel any better
15:35I am also disgusted by you
15:36Oh cool
15:37Yeah
15:38A lot of people are
15:40I was like
15:40The lungs
15:42And now you're funny as well
15:43I'm going to have to have you put down Rachel
15:44That's alright
15:46Everyone say goodbye to Rachel
15:48Now
15:48We have somebody here
15:50I believe
15:51Who is about to play Evita
15:53At the Swan
15:54Where are you?
15:56Rosie are you here?
15:57Rosie
16:03So soon
16:04Yeah
16:04Oh my god are you excited?
16:06Yeah
16:06It's the time of your life
16:07Yeah
16:08This is the most exciting part
16:09Do you get enough water breaks?
16:11Um
16:13Yeah I know
16:15Baby I know
16:16Yeah
16:16Because I had this really fun thing where I didn't have any costume changes
16:20Where usually as Eva Perrone I'm sure you have a lot of costume changes
16:23Drink during those
16:25Yes
16:25Because I didn't have any of those and I had to beg for water breaks to be choreographed in
16:30Olivier nominee Fabian Eloise should win just because he choreographed water breaks into my choreography
16:35And I bet those who saw it didn't even notice
16:39Right
16:39So
16:41But it's the time of your life just to take it with you
16:44It's so much fun
16:44You'll remember it for a lifetime
16:46Yeah
16:46Good luck
16:47Break a leg
16:48Yeah
16:49Break a leg
16:50So fun
16:53Your Evita broke records it was the longest standing ovation ever in the West End
17:00How long did it go over 10 minutes?
17:01Over 10 minutes on closing night for sure
17:03But it was a it was one of those moments where I was I was used to doing
17:07I did Shakespeare in New York like you don't get a standing o for everything
17:10But in New York it's very much a part of the culture after the show has done everybody stands
17:14And I was told many times before the run started like well just you know
17:19It doesn't mean they don't like it if they don't stand
17:21It doesn't mean that because London audiences are a lot more reserved which I for one really love and
17:26We got a standing ovation every night and it was bizarre to everybody in the company
17:31That that was what was going on and the closing night was I think it was like 12 minutes
17:35It went over the the record which was 10
17:39How do you what face do you pull?
17:41There are many videos of me turning to James Olivas who plays Peron where I go I don't know what
17:47to do
17:48I don't know what to do and also like I said didn't really have any time off stage
17:54I had to pee so bad that I would always be like Alan wrap it up
17:58Because we were waiting for a reprise of money kept rolling in to come in so that we could dance
18:03off the stage
18:03And it just never came and so there are also videos of me being like I have to pee
18:10Because you had water breaks
18:12You've had water breaks and you're not wearing a nappy
18:15I had exactly I had very rare water breaks so when I could drink water you best believe I was
18:20chugging
18:21Yeah
18:21So it was one of those where I had to pee so bad at the end of that
18:24It's a three hour musical and I did not leave the stage once
18:28The only time I left the stage was to go get ready to go do the balcony and then I
18:31came right back onto the stage
18:32So I didn't have any time to pee during the show
18:34Rachel you need a shiwi I used a glass to breathe
18:38Not that I used it
18:40Very effective
18:41I highly recommend
18:42Yeah
18:43Now guys we need to converse about Bait
18:47It's a brand new show for Prime Video
18:50That's correct
18:51This is a creation of Riz Ahmed
18:53I've known Riz for quite some time
18:56I knew him before I even stumbled into this
18:57And he's been really honest
18:59It's a real honest story of what it's like for a guy from a working-class family in Wembley
19:05To have done all the stuff he's done
19:06But every time that big role comes that big opportunity comes something goes wrong
19:11Or it doesn't quite happen
19:13And it was wicked to work on it with him because it's so honest
19:17It's a lot of his real life in his real story
19:19So yeah, it's got a lot of humor
19:20It's completely crazy
19:22That's how Riz likes to do his stuff
19:24And I think it's very unique
19:25Something that people won't have seen before for sure
19:27This is about Riz going for Bond, right?
19:30He has an audition
19:32And it's like it's four days
19:33That's the story of Bait, isn't it?
19:36Can I tell you the truth?
19:37Yeah
19:37I'm not really sure
19:42I'm a truthful person, okay?
19:44It's a month of Ramadan, I've got to tell the truth, okay?
19:47I'll be reading my words
19:49And then I go to sleep
19:50That's all I do
19:55I'm a person, I'm a person
19:57I'm a person, I'm a person
19:58My line
19:59My line
20:00Can I just tell you that the PR for the show
20:02I just heard her back there bang her head against the thing
20:06It's really good though, I can tell you that
20:08It's really good
20:08Should we have a clip?
20:10If you want, yeah
20:10Yeah, why not?
20:11If you want
20:12Calm down, it's just an audition, yeah?
20:14Call me if you need a body double for sex scenes
20:17Can you tell her to call me soon?
20:19She comes back in?
20:21Yeah, sure
20:22Okay
20:22Bye
20:23I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing
20:27I've just got to sort this out
20:28And work it out
20:30Yo, yo
20:31Look at me
20:32I'm proud of you
20:34Yeah?
20:36Come on my guy, come on
20:37Let's see what happens
20:38Of course, inshallah
20:39But do they know about height?
20:41What do you mean?
20:42Are they going to give you special shoes?
20:44Like James Bond's a...
20:45Big any?
20:50I'm just saying it
20:51For you
20:52For you
20:53Yes!
20:54Come on, man!
20:56Come on!
20:58Come on!
20:58It is
21:00Tell us
21:00Look, I have to say it
21:02Are you sure?
21:04Are you sure, Iris?
21:06So, you know
21:07There's certain criteria
21:08That I believe you have to hit
21:09To be James Bond
21:10And they killed him at number one
21:12He can't even help that
21:13It's not his fault
21:14He didn't get the right level of protein
21:15In when he was a kid
21:15You can't make any kind of difference on somebody
21:17Bless Riz Ahmed
21:18Can I say that we should have a short James Bond?
21:20Because how are you going to be so tall
21:22And sneaking around like a secret agent?
21:24I don't see it
21:25I've been saying that for years
21:26LAUGHTER
21:30Where did you first meet him?
21:32Where did I first meet Riz Ahmed?
21:34For legal purposes
21:34I've been asked to frame this story
21:38To go back like 20 years
21:41Could be a little bit more
21:42And I'm from Coventry
21:44I still live there
21:45And I
21:46Before I did this
21:47Had different vocations
21:48Mm-hmm
21:49One of my vocations
21:52Was
21:54Selling tulips
21:55Let's go with that
21:57What beautiful tulips they were
22:00Right?
22:00Yes
22:00I was a florist
22:01People really like the flowers
22:02Every time they get this
22:03They're brother this flower
22:04Is the best flower
22:05I ever smell in my whole life
22:07Okay?
22:08So
22:09I was in an alleyway
22:10With my still best friend till this day
22:12And a gentleman comes running into the alleyway
22:15And when you're selling tulips late at night
22:16Everyone's on edge
22:17Yes?
22:19LAUGHTER
22:20Go with it guys
22:21I looked down
22:22I looked down the alleyway
22:23And there's Riz Ahmed
22:25But I didn't know it was Riz Ahmed
22:26And Riz Ahmed
22:27Was a little bit nervous
22:29About the activity of floristry
22:30In this particular alleyway
22:31LAUGHTER
22:32But to his credit
22:33Riz decided to venture down there
22:35To me and my friend
22:36And said
22:37My brothers
22:37Um
22:38I'm about to spit some bars
22:40In the students union
22:41Would you like to join me?
22:43And I looked at my friend
22:44And said
22:44Probably not man
22:45These tulips ain't gonna sell themselves
22:47But you better just
22:47LAUGHTER
22:49My friend who's a good person
22:50He's a good geezer
22:52He said
22:52No, we should support this guy
22:53He looks kind of stressed
22:54So we accompanied him
22:56To the students union
22:57This is Oscar winning Riz Ahmed
22:5820 years ago
22:59And he performed
23:01Quite okay-ish rap music
23:04To a group of six people
23:06In Coventry students union
23:08And ten years later
23:10When I started doing like comedy
23:12And silly stuff like that
23:13He messaged me
23:14And he goes
23:15But can I ask you a question?
23:17I said yeah
23:18He said
23:19Did you used to sell tulips?
23:22LAUGHTER
23:23In an alleyway in Coventry
23:25And I said
23:25Who are you the police?
23:27Go away!
23:28LAUGHTER
23:29And that's the story
23:30Of how me and Riz Ahmed
23:31Um
23:35He invites me to Eid every year
23:38Yeah, he does
23:39He's a good lad
23:40I can't
23:40I'm gonna miss it this year
23:41Because I'm here
23:42But Riz invites me to
23:43Like they do Eid in New York
23:45Yes
23:46They do an Eid banquet
23:46And I'm missing it this year
23:47And I'm very sad
23:48But he's so
23:49He's salt to the earth
23:50He's a good dude
23:51He's gonna have great flowers
23:52Yeah
23:52On the table
23:53Great tulips
23:55Um
23:57And you've worked with another one
23:59Of your best friends
24:00Who's that?
24:01With Lumboo
24:01Mm
24:02Because there's this show
24:03That I find very difficult to say
24:05So I'm gonna go very slowly
24:06Gus Khan's Custom Cars
24:08Quite tricky to say
24:09Well done
24:10Uh
24:10And you do it with Lumboo
24:12And it is really funny
24:15Look at that
24:15I know nothing about cars
24:17Tell me about this show
24:18Well this show came about
24:20Because I do like cars
24:21Mmm
24:22Always have
24:23When we were younger
24:24Uh
24:25Just growing up in a working class family
24:26And car
24:27The idea of owning a car
24:29That was more than 750 pounds
24:31Was a bit of a dream
24:31Mm
24:32And now you get to a stage in your career
24:34Where you can say to people
24:35Um
24:36Cars
24:37Can we make a television show about it
24:39Please somebody
24:39And they were
24:40I was lucky enough for someone to say yeah
24:41But in my head
24:42I always wanted my best friend to come along on this journey with me
24:45My best friend is Lumboo
24:46To describe Lumboo
24:47He is a human sunflower
24:50Are we talking real flowers this time?
24:51Yeah, yeah
24:52Yeah, yeah
24:52Real flowers
24:54Making sure
24:55But I'm from B&Q
24:56Planet I'm in the ground
24:56Real legit
24:57That's tricky
24:59There he is
24:59Oh
25:00Handsome boy
25:00Um
25:01But you know
25:02You realise
25:03When you bring your friends to make television
25:05They don't really respect the rules
25:08Tell me more
25:09So like
25:10If a call time is at 8.30 in the morning
25:12Uh oh
25:13Um
25:13And your friend turns up at 2.30 in the afternoon
25:16Right
25:16That probably isn't good
25:19Good for the rules
25:20Right?
25:20Yeah
25:21And it looks bad on you
25:22It looks terrible on me
25:23Sort of loving for it
25:24What was he doing?
25:25What was he doing until 2.30?
25:27Yeah
25:27Sleeping
25:28Oh wow
25:29Because he was tired
25:30I respect it
25:31I gotta respect it
25:32Yeah
25:32But it's an amazing thing to go on
25:34Like we've been messing around since we were kids
25:35Uh and then we went on this journey to create this incredible custom car
25:39I'd never done that before
25:40But we did realise by the end of the show
25:42That he had created a car
25:45That based on his six foot four length
25:48And my 18 stone weight
25:51We couldn't fit in
25:53Now there's a custom car somewhere in the streets of Coventry rotting in a car park
25:57If anybody wants it go and take it
25:59It was a fun journey, really fun journey
26:01I cannot recommend it enough
26:02It's real
26:03I don't know anything about cars
26:04But I was howling
26:05By the way you two talk to each other
26:07By the way you're talking
26:08There was something about an exhaust pipe
26:10Didn't know what it was
26:11I was in
26:11Yeah
26:12I was in
26:13Where can people watch
26:15I don't know what channel it's on
26:16But you'll find
26:18It's on Discovery Plus
26:19Is it?
26:20Yeah
26:21And Bait
26:22Amazon for sure
26:23Correct
26:24Prime Video for Bait
26:26And you can witness Riz Ahmed
26:28I assume go on to win an Emmy
26:30Because he's incredible in it
26:32Support the show
26:32It's got proper British flavour
26:35It's got proper energy and humour
26:37Just enjoy it
26:38OK
26:39Thank you
26:39Thank you very much
26:43Before you got into comedy and before all of this you were a teacher
26:48I was a teacher
26:50What kind of a teacher were you?
26:53A shit one
26:56I don't believe that
26:58I just don't believe that
26:59I don't believe that
27:01I don't believe that
27:02I don't believe that
27:02I don't believe that
27:04You can see it
27:04That tracks
27:05Yeah, sure
27:06What did you teach?
27:07Well, here's the thing
27:09So when you do your PGCE
27:11Yeah
27:12Specialise in teaching
27:13You do that in a specific subject or set of subjects
27:17I never got round to teaching those specific sets of subjects
27:21Nice
27:22So like I was basically like a really good big brother forward slash that fun uncle
27:28Yeah
27:29Around school
27:29And I would like to hope
27:30To think maybe that
27:32I had contributed in a positive way to the children of Grace Academy in Coventry
27:35If I didn't and you fail your GCSEs, I apologise
27:39That is the plot to School of Rock without the music
27:41Yeah
27:42Exactly
27:42Can I tell you something?
27:44Your students loved you
27:45Did they love me?
27:46They loved you
27:47Would you like to say hello to them?
27:48No, stop it
27:49I'm going to cry
27:50Shut the front door
27:51Finran
27:53What?
27:53What?
27:56Hey Mr. Khan
27:57Yes
27:59Give me another one
28:01Yes
28:01Yes
28:01Come in you lot
28:03Come here
28:05Come here
28:06Yes
28:08Yes
28:09Yes
28:09Yes
28:10Yes
28:11Yes
28:12Yes
28:13Yes
28:13Yes
28:14Yes
28:14Yes
28:14Yes
28:15Yes
28:16Yes
28:17Yes
28:18Yes
28:19Yes
28:25Yes
28:27Yes
28:33Yes
28:42I've loved having a laugh with you but to hear their stories about how brilliant you were
28:47I don't embarrass you we've got a bit weird but you were much better than you're saying
28:57because Simran what did he do for you you know what as you see Mr Khan yeah in TV was
29:03just like
29:04how he was in school yeah I remember the first time I had him in a class yeah he goes
29:10oi Simran call
29:11me out and I was like I thought I was in trouble right and he was like I can't be
29:16asked to do the
29:17presentation slide next button you sit there and you do it for me I was quite shy up until I
29:28had
29:28Mr Khan as my teacher and again he was that fun uncle vibes right where he made me feel comfortable
29:34and I started to gain a bit of confidence from that but even after he left knowing what he pursued
29:40was enough to inspire myself to pursue something different you know when you come from Coventry
29:47and you come from a South Asian background you're not always pushed to do something creative so now
29:52you know I went to uni I passed you contributed more than you think tell us about mr. Khan if
30:18he's why
30:18are you sweating so much brother got tulips in his inside pocket I know what it is this guy he
30:32made
30:32us all feel like you can go out and do anything that you want Coventry's Coventry is known for tulips
30:49oh yeah like someone's gonna come out there so to see somebody go out and do it like I'll be
30:53the
30:53first one to say it and everyone in Coventry has goes back in like we're super proud of what you've
30:58done
31:22so nice that we're so nice I never marked a book in my life
31:30It was so lovely thank you so much for coming Joanne tell me your tour you keep adding more dates
31:37You are playing huge arenas
31:40Pinot file there it is
31:42No
31:44file
31:45I file Pino. It's a fun pun. It has my gun press a little difficult. So I'm delighted to be
31:51here. Claudia. Thank you
31:53Not every BBC show would take me with a name like that
31:57You're doing huge venues fun or ever since like this great crack. Yeah, sometimes I think it gets a reputation
32:03for being this kind of feral
32:09Because it's a predominantly female audience
32:11Okay, but a man messaged me and he was like is it safe for me to come? Oh my god,
32:17they obviously think I'm running some sort of
32:20cannibalistic
32:21Like we're putting men in cauldrons and boiling them and then drinking their bone broth or something which I would
32:25do for Netflix special
32:28But no, it's great. I know it's like I don't get it. I love traveling around living out of a
32:32suitcase
32:33Yeah, we should say you broke records for the longest ever standing ovation at the Palladium you broke a different
32:38record
32:39Well, Rachel I to play the London Palladium and broker records. Mm-hmm. It was for wine cells
32:56So maybe they want to stand for me to you Rachel, but they couldn't because they were too pissed
33:01But I love your fans. Isn't it true that every venue are like I just not in a bad way
33:06I just want to warn you that like have you got white wine if you got percent and they're like
33:10yeah, we've got enough and you're like
33:12We're similar women the women coming a little bit of you know, we're we like
33:16Yeah
33:18Bit of undiagnosed ADHD like it. There's a vibe. Yeah, mentally feral physically groomed, you know
33:24We might eat out of a bin on a weekend. That's the vibe of the show
33:36You know about we bricks we're going to need one after this
33:40Peanut file I'm on sale now
33:50You're doing one of these shows and you also would like to adopt a dog
33:55I bought a house finally on the ladder. I have a garden lovely
33:58I was like I'll obviously I'll rescue a dog because that's what you do. Are you adopt?
34:02Also, I'm adopted myself, so I feel it's only fair to pay it for it
34:16So I would always rescue I would never buy it
34:21Shame on you having your own children
34:29It is so hard and now I'll probably get rinsed for saying this
34:33But like I was like a blah blah blah
34:35I want to adopt a little and they were like you have a car and I was like no I
34:40said I have access to an e-scooter
34:44And I was like they're like you can't adopt a dog. I was like when I drive it to its
34:48piano lessons
34:50If you because I couldn't if you don't have a garden they don't
34:54Yeah, fine then you can have a whole litter hive I don't know
35:01So you have these lovely fans what is the wildest thing your fans have ever done and one time in
35:08the in the Apollo I could sense
35:10There was like a kerfuffle mm-hmm in one of the balconies
35:14And I was like what is going on it's kind of distracting you're like what's going on you don't stop
35:17the show
35:18But you're dying to know the tea of what's happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah
35:21I know there was a woman taken out again. I'm not really selling the show here. I'm worse than you
35:28There was a woman taken out by her arms and her legs I carried I yeah
35:32Oh
35:33Yeah, I was like I'm raised I missed that now
35:35I mean I thought would be worth stopping the show for I think her bag fell over the balcony and
35:40she was trying to get us
35:41And I they were worried she'd fall and I don't know anyway. Look it's fine
35:47We put seatbelts in the balconies there
35:53Now Jo-am your fans are a bit like a cult they love you would you be up for joining
35:58one because I definitely would I
36:00Have a cult vibe for I'm suggestible. I'd be
36:04Easily like I'm I think I'm involved in it aloe vera pyramid already, which is kind of
36:10Cult vibes. I like I like the sense of camaraderie. Yeah, do you? Yeah, you don't you die alone? You
36:16die in a gang?
36:17And everyone drinks the poison, but I'm such a boozer. I'll probably just completely survive
36:21And live
36:22We'll be dead I'll pop a sobbing and get out of my day
36:25I I do my agent won't book hotels near Scientia Scientology centers because he's like you go in yeah
36:32I don't like cults. Yeah, don't want to be part of them don't like reading about them don't know watching
36:36Netflix documentaries about
36:37They're scary. You've got a cult vibe me. Yeah
36:41I would I would join oh you as the leader. Yes, your leader vibes. Yes. Yeah, I'm very follower vibes.
36:48Yeah, you're leader
36:54Guys he's a thing tell us about when you went on holiday the first time we'd have been to America
37:01It's work. I've never been to America in my life. I always thought I'd struggle to get in so like
37:12No, no need the money now I
37:16Tried to get into America as Niall. I would be in Guantanamo Bay for the rest
37:35Where were you going to Los Angeles, okay, yeah, and so I said to my wife and the kids like
37:40this is gonna be an incredible trip
37:41Let's do it there are of course. Let's do it me and I'm like yo
37:45This is exciting. Let me book somewhere incredible in the Hollywood Hills
37:49I love my wife and my children and then I saw how much it cost to book somewhere
37:54I don't love them that much. So I went on the
37:58Airbnb list and I found somewhere that looks sick and it had an exciting name. It was called Topanga
38:05Is that yes, okay, so to pine Canyon nice sounds exciting. Yeah, I wonder the list and it had
38:11No ratings, but it looked sick and it was cheap. No ratings. Yeah, I know I'm an idiot
38:15You've met me now you've been sitting next to me. You know how this stuff goes
38:17You'd be terrible on a call
38:20So I booked it and we got to the airport and there's a wonderful driver that was there to pick
38:24us up and he says so brother
38:26Where you going and I was like oh here Topanga he went oh
38:30I said why you say oh for like that you said brother man, I'm saying brother like me you
38:36We don't be in Topanga
38:39Immediate worrying sign but I thought anyway, it's cheap two of the kids are asleep one's vomiting in the back
38:44Let's just get to Topanga, okay, so we're heading up to Topanga and it's very it's it's very like um
38:50Up hilly yeah, there's a lot of altitude and we're traveling there
38:53And he's telling me all these terrible stories about man. Shit man ain't nothing around here
39:02We should be here anyway, I'm listening to this geezer bang on and we get to the house pitch black
39:08There's all noises of crickets and
39:11I don't know what was going on
39:12All kind of animal I never heard in my life, okay, I thought there's people in the butcher going
39:20So it's pitch black and the instructions to get in this property are a bit weird
39:23Yeah, you've got to go around the back and there's no lights, but there were
39:28Like security cameras all over this house, right? So
39:32We're walking around and then my kids did wherever they're walking this camera's going
39:39Right so my sons are dad the cameras following me. I said shut up man. You don't know what's going
39:42on
39:45So we managed
39:47We managed to get in the house and my middle son lispy he's called that because he's got a lisp
39:51so lispy's in the house
39:54You're making that up no so so so lispy's in the house now and lispy's like yeah, we love him
39:58but you know
39:59He's got a lispy so we're in the house
40:02Brother's got a lispy
40:04So lispy's in his house and lispy's like his dad lispy gets feelings
40:06Lispy's like dads man dads
40:10This place is weird dads and i'm like shut up son man your mom's already angry at me there's no
40:14electricity in the house
40:15It's just dark in here
40:16So we found a couple lights all the mood lighting but like lispy's they're touching with that dad all the
40:21walls hollow
40:22I said sometimes walls be like that son
40:26So he's in the house everyone's like trying to settle in to this good vibe, okay
40:31I've got the feeling my wife's looking like why are your eyes so wide i'm like lispy says there's something
40:36weird in the house
40:37I don't know what's going on
40:39So lispy's run up the stairs he's touching all the walls upstairs and he come back down he goes dad
40:44Doesn't want to show you something dad
40:48So i've gone upstairs with lispy and my wife is like i should have never married you and then
40:56We've gone upstairs and then there's a room
40:59And he's managed to get it open so it was locked but lispy's managed he's very resourceful
41:06He's managed to get it open and in this i swear to god in the center of the room was
41:11a cabinet a very ornate
41:13Cabinet no and i was like lisp where you find this because i don't know it's in the room
41:19Because look at the door but i was yanked on it now because look at what's inside dad he's opened
41:29it double-handed
41:33He's gone dad
41:34Dad what's all that red stuff no and in this cupboard in the middle of this already creepy airbnb
41:42There are vials of blood
41:46Lined up all across there he said dad that don't look good
41:52I said that is not good
41:54We left the house immediately i called the driver and the driver said brother i told you man
42:00We ain't supposed to be right here oh my god
42:03Never went back together
42:04What do you have
42:07We're lucky to think of that right right
42:10The weird thing is like days later like the airbnb listing was gone
42:15So big up lispy
42:18He's the new love of my life yeah genuinely
42:21Right so we have almost come to the end but before we close this is quite a lot of pressure
42:28But i just need to ask the first date
42:30I think it's been good yeah yeah
42:32We didn't ruin it then no no no no i don't know what we're gonna do for the next date
42:36like graham
42:41You are i i can i can sort that out for you
42:46But maybe next time i don't know a dough ball and a drink
42:51If you're still together at the end of the year you can come and watch my show even if you
42:54like it or not
42:55Yeah
42:56Do you want to come see a musical about divorce
43:01Awesome great i was gonna say
43:03Do you want to be carried out in all fours
43:07From a balcony at the hammers with a parlor i can do that
43:09You want to come to the south with Judas
43:21That is it we are off to play swing ball and talk more about tulips i would like to thank
43:27my wonderful guest joanne mcnally
43:30Oh yeah
43:31Gus con
43:33Rachel zeglar
43:35And naya warren
43:38We are back next week when i'll be joined by jimmy carl chase infinity and lisa kudrow thank you for
43:45watching good night
43:46We are back
43:47We are back
43:47We are back
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