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00:00It's on the blink Mary. Literally. It's not igniting. It's not igniting Mary. Turn it off.
00:07Turn it on again. Turn the machine off at the wall. Wait a few seconds. Turn it back on again.
00:18What a time to run for the boiler to get on the blink Mary. The middle of winter with snow forecast.
00:25No. What an entrance. I'm living for this. Taser in. We are going to chocolate. It's all sad. I don't think so. Hey. Oh, here we go. What is that? Oh, shut up.
00:41This doesn't look real. I don't think it is. A flamboisier. What's a flamboisier? Oh, I knew it. No. This looks dodgy, doesn't it? It does. Why is it dodgy?
00:51This is going to go down so badly. None of us learned, do we?
00:55I hate you. Must remember that bellend. This is what everyone came for. The alarm bells are ringing with me, Mary.
01:05At least the nipples are covered. Yeah. It's half the battle.
01:08In the week we said a fond farewell to snooker legend John Virgo, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:16They were wheeling out the big brains on Channel 4. Please welcome Susie Dent.
01:24Susie. Lovely to see you.
01:27Of course the woman from Countdowns in this, she is really smart to be fair, but although, at the same time, doesn't she just look up dictionary like...
01:36That's right. All she does is flip through the dictionary. Yeah. And she goes, right, yeah, that is a real word.
01:43We can do that. I can do that, yeah.
01:48Will Smith found himself in a hole on Disney Plus.
01:52The goal of the expedition is to find new species, not just for the sake of finding new species. You know, we're not collecting stamps here.
02:01His name's Prof.
02:02That means he's a professor.
02:04There's a joke at my work that I'm a professor, because one time I filled out a form and I put prof instead of miss.
02:13And Olivia Atwood was showing us how to get filthy rich on ITV2.
02:22It's in the millions. Wow.
02:24I don't know why you don't do any of this.
02:26You'd make a fortune.
02:28You've always said that. You could do a chat line.
02:31I'd be good at it.
02:32I know, you said...
02:33Hey, Lee, look, I've already got... I'll show you. Ready?
02:37What?
02:39You're taking your clothes off? What?
02:42Hello, sir. Yes.
02:44What would you like to do?
02:46Oh, you'd like me to take my dress off?
02:49Yes, OK.
02:53Oh, the zip's got a bit stuck.
02:56Hold on a moment.
02:59Right, the dress is coming off now, sir.
03:01Isn't it good?
03:05Oh, I've got me fingers stuck.
03:17In Leeds...
03:18Where did it all go wrong for you on Saturday night?
03:20Because you seemed all right at the brunch.
03:22I think it was when I had them two spicy margaritas back to back.
03:25One spicy margarita after the other.
03:27I just love a spicy margs.
03:29Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
03:31Well, you went absolutely mad with me.
03:33I bought you a pink gin and tonic and you were going,
03:35You know I wanted spicy margarita.
03:37I wanted spicy margarita.
03:38Why have you bought me pink gin?
03:39Yeah, and so I necked that gin that you bought me and then trotted off to the bar and bought myself two spicy margaritas.
03:45Not one but two spicy margaritas.
03:47Not one but two spicy margaritas.
03:48Yeah.
03:49Just to spite me.
03:50Yeah.
03:51And then I drunk one spicy margarita after the other, necked them.
03:56And I actually think that after that point of necking those spicy margaritas that's when the night becomes blurry.
04:02That's when it spiralled.
04:03That's when it spiralled.
04:04That's when it spiralled.
04:05Yeah.
04:06You rang me at two in the morning and I thought,
04:07Peace off.
04:09On Thursday night, the latest bunch of business hopefuls were suited and booted and back in the firing line on BBC One.
04:16I tell you what, I watched episode one last week, shit show.
04:19I wish I was actually clever enough or had the brain to invent something that they would love.
04:26But that would just never happen.
04:28You're fired.
04:32We had to do a business plan when we took the pub.
04:34Oh, did you?
04:35Yeah.
04:36Well, I never did it.
04:37I didn't.
04:38I wouldn't know how to start a business plan.
04:40Where would you start?
04:41How do you start a business plan?
04:42You write it down.
04:43I know that, you silly bastard.
04:45Oh.
04:46In the programme, Large Sugar had a playful way of introducing the next task.
04:52Are you sitting comfortably?
04:54We should begin.
04:56Oh, it's Tony.
04:59Not a Large Sugar Tony.
05:01For your next task, I want you to create a story for four to six year olds.
05:07Oh.
05:08That is such a fun task.
05:10You need to produce a book and an audio version to go with it.
05:14An audio version, I think, would be tricky because there's no visual aid there.
05:17No.
05:18No.
05:19That's the audio bit.
05:20This is a good one.
05:21Surely there can't go far wrong with this.
05:23Writing a kid's book and recording it.
05:25Exactly.
05:26I've got a story idea, I think.
05:27I was next for the boys.
05:29So, mine is Geno Giraffe.
05:30He's on a spaceship and his whole end goal is basically to have a poo.
05:34Oh.
05:35Great.
05:36To have a poo?
05:37Correct.
05:38No, get him out.
05:39Nobody wants to talk about excrement.
05:40This boy called Astro, five years old, goes into space and essentially he's trying to find the perfect toilet.
05:45Why is it all based around toilets?
05:48He's trying to find the perfect toilet in space.
05:51Which mum and dad's going to enjoy reading that story to their child?
05:54One, two, three, poo.
05:56Oh my god, this is only going to go one way.
06:03Down the toilet.
06:04Yeah.
06:05Next chapter for Marcus's boys.
06:07Please Ru, can I do a poo in your loo?
06:09Oh my days.
06:11Do you want to do for Doo-Doo Land?
06:13Dun, dun.
06:14No.
06:16Do you guys like it?
06:17Don't do that.
06:18You're taking the mix.
06:19Is this for real?
06:20Yeah.
06:21Let's go.
06:22Okay.
06:23Dun, dun.
06:25Oh.
06:26Is this seriously what The Apprentice has come to?
06:33Central London.
06:34Are we excited?
06:35Yeah!
06:36Oh my god, what are the kids going to say?
06:39Oh, dearie me.
06:40Right, this is your audience, isn't it?
06:42If the kids like it, you've got some testimonials.
06:44He is not scared of any planet in the universe, except for one.
06:51Oh, Jane.
06:52Look at the faces.
06:53Oh, the bud.
06:54Do-Doo Land.
06:55Do-Doo Land.
06:56Do-Doo.
06:57Do-Doo.
07:02Oh!
07:03Not a one is laughing.
07:04But what did people think of the adventure that Astro went on?
07:07That it isn't that funny.
07:09Do you know what?
07:10Do you know what?
07:11Kids are brutal.
07:12They are.
07:13Do you want to hear it one more time?
07:14No.
07:15No.
07:16No?
07:17Once was enough.
07:18Once was enough.
07:19I prefer the humour of P.G. Woodhouse.
07:295pm.
07:30Arriving some of Britain's biggest booksellers.
07:34Oh, no.
07:35Oh, God.
07:36Oh, God.
07:37This'll be so cringy.
07:38Oh, can't wait.
07:39We are here to present to you Astro and the three aliens.
07:43No.
07:44What the fuck?
07:45No.
07:46Giant shit on his head.
07:48Do-Doo Land.
07:50Dun-Dun.
07:52Oh.
07:53Oh, my God.
07:54That's exactly how it's gone now.
07:57They've actually narrated how their book's gone now.
08:05Are you glad to be back?
08:07Does it look as though I'm glad to be back?
08:08Did you enjoy it?
08:09Yes, I did.
08:10Oh, good.
08:11I enjoyed my break.
08:13Where did I go?
08:14There.
08:15Best friends Jenny and Lee.
08:17Candy.
08:18No, not candy.
08:19What is it?
08:20India.
08:21Yeah.
08:22Go.
08:23Oh, go away.
08:24Oh, yeah, go away.
08:25Yeah.
08:26Go away.
08:27I'm surprised.
08:28You won't ask me where did I get it from.
08:29Where did you get it from?
08:30Fucking India.
08:31Where do you think?
08:32Manchester.
08:33Oh, yeah.
08:34On Sunday night, we settled in for a light-hearted game of tactics and trivia on ITV.
08:39The floor.
08:40Oh, yeah.
08:41Oh, yeah.
08:42On Sunday night, we settled in for a light-hearted game of tactics and trivia on ITV.
08:48The floor.
08:49We can't have an alcoholic drink on a Sunday.
08:53It's only one.
08:56You better drink it.
08:57Famous last word.
08:58I'm Rob Brydon and this is the floor.
09:01Hello, Rob.
09:02He looks like a koala.
09:03Let's bring in our players.
09:07Oh, they're all happy to be there.
09:08Oh, my Lord.
09:12Oh, I think I quite like this already.
09:14Have they all got a box?
09:15They've all got their own box.
09:16So, you choose your subject depending on your specialism.
09:20So, like, you might choose, I don't know, Aston Villa.
09:23OK.
09:24Or pop music.
09:25Yes.
09:26And what would your specialist subject be?
09:27Food.
09:28Food.
09:29Hello, everybody.
09:3049 of you remain.
09:3449.
09:36And you're all still in with a chance of winning that huge jackpot of £50,000.
09:42Ooh.
09:43It's not bad for a Sunday afternoon work.
09:45No.
09:46Let's light up the floor.
09:49What a strapline.
09:51Here we go.
09:52Any second.
09:53Now.
09:54Oh.
09:55Slay.
09:57Slay.
09:58Clacky.
09:59What does that mean?
10:01Slay bells?
10:02It must have been S-L-A-Y.
10:05He's going to kill the contestants, his rivals.
10:08Slay them.
10:09Now then, George, your category is US states.
10:12Ooh.
10:13Ooh.
10:14I've been in a few states, but not in many US states.
10:18So, there's four.
10:19Four states.
10:20I think there's at least 60.
10:21America.
10:22America.
10:23New York.
10:24America.
10:25New York.
10:26You're going to be duelling on a category belonging to one of your neighbours.
10:28America.
10:29New York.
10:30And then there's another two.
10:31You're lying to me.
10:33I'm not.
10:34But George wasn't playing his own category.
10:36He was about to play Aisha's category.
10:39The category is famous hair.
10:41I don't think Dad would get very far with this one.
10:43No.
10:44No.
10:45No.
10:50Claudia Winkleman.
10:51Claudia Winkleman.
10:52Long, black and shiny.
10:54No dandruff.
10:55Mr T.
10:57BA Barakas.
10:58I ain't getting no playing fool.
10:59Mr T.
11:00I've woke up like Mr T and all my hair shrinks.
11:03We've all woken up like Mr T.
11:05Well, not all of us, but us people of colour.
11:07Harry Winkleman.
11:10No.
11:11No.
11:12Harry Winkleman!
11:13Prince Harry.
11:16Prince Harry.
11:17I mean, they've done him wonders there because they've clearly used an old picture.
11:21Yeah.
11:22It's like orange smoke on top now.
11:24PHONE RINGS
11:26Oh, no!
11:27Bob Rock!
11:28Get out of my...
11:29Get out of my pub!
11:30His fingers!
11:31Dolly Parton.
11:32PHONE RINGS
11:33Oh, Dolly Parton!
11:34I thought it was Peggy from his fingers!
11:38PHONE RINGS
11:39Oh, I know.
11:40What's her name?
11:41Er...
11:42What's her name?
11:43Have you seen the beard?
11:44Oh, no.
11:45Jason Momoa.
11:47PHONE RINGS
11:48No, I didn't know that one.
11:49I was gonna be like, Jesus?
11:50PHONE RINGS
11:51No, I was gonna say the one that...
11:53Say!
11:54The one that's the...
11:55Posh Spice.
11:57No, that's not Posh Spice.
11:59It's Baby Spice.
12:01Mel B?
12:02Nope.
12:03Diana Ross.
12:04Mel B.
12:05PHONE RINGS
12:06Mel B?
12:07Oh!
12:08Oh!
12:09Told you, pal!
12:10I'm sorry, they're exaggerating her hair a little bit there.
12:12Come on.
12:13No, she doesn't look like that.
12:16Prince?
12:17Prince?
12:18That's a woman.
12:19PHONE RINGS
12:20I was gonna say Prince William's woman.
12:24PHONE RINGS
12:25Prince William's woman?
12:27In this day and age, Amani...
12:30In this day and age, she's only his woman.
12:33No, I forgot her name.
12:35She's only his woman.
12:36This is what I like to call an ironing show.
12:38You know, if you're doing a bit of ironing, you bang this on, don't you?
12:41Yeah, it used to be the EastEnders omnibus.
12:43Yeah.
12:44But now you can just bang the floor on.
12:46Yeah.
12:47Get the kids' uniforms washed out.
12:48Yeah.
12:49Done.
12:50It's not gonna put you off.
12:51No.
12:52But it's nice to have one in the background.
12:53In Manchester.
12:54Me mate's getting married on Friday and I'm really looking forward to it.
13:06But me mate's a vegetarian.
13:08So that means vegetarian food at the wedding.
13:11No.
13:12Surely you'll do some normal options.
13:15It's veggie food.
13:16The Malones.
13:17The thing is, I like vegetables and that.
13:20No issue with vegetables.
13:22But I do like a good, like, bit of chicken or something.
13:27Eh, Sean?
13:28You never know.
13:29You might go.
13:30The food might be that good.
13:31You might become a vegetarian.
13:33Ah, lads.
13:34Can't see that.
13:35Well, yeah, sure.
13:36You could be the one that turns up.
13:38Who's a guest that's turned up with a, like, with a wedding present at a packet of pork pies
13:41and sausage rolls, they are.
13:42They're all gonna be around it, aren't they?
13:44Don't give him ideas.
13:46This week, Disney Plus was pushing a Hollywood A-lister to the limit on an epic new adventure
13:52series.
13:53Pole to Pole with Will Smith-Shield.
13:55He's going from the North Pole right down to the South Pole.
13:58He's walking, is he?
14:00Walking?
14:01Walking?
14:04Where is the North Pole?
14:05I don't think you can live there.
14:06You can.
14:07I can't.
14:08Santa lives there.
14:09Yeah, just Santa.
14:11No one else.
14:15I don't think I'd want to go pole to pole with Will Smith or toe to toe.
14:19You know, Chris Rock found that out, didn't he?
14:21Did you ever have one of those friends?
14:23Why is he that close to the camera like that?
14:25That, like, gets you in trouble all the time?
14:28Well, I was that friend.
14:30Yeah.
14:33How does he know?
14:34I remember my very first snake bite.
14:36You never forget your first.
14:37What do you mean?
14:38How many snake bites have you had in your life?
14:40Did you mean a shot?
14:42No, darling.
14:43Over the last 25 years, I've had 27 snake bites.
14:4627?
14:4724 broken bones, 400 stitches.
14:49Oh, my God.
14:50Two stingray stings and one near fatal scorpion sting in the Amazon.
14:54Oh, dear.
14:55That's like my summer holidays.
14:57Have a doll then.
14:59I hope you've got good health insurance.
15:01Brian has us in the middle of the Amazon.
15:04And you want to go there?
15:07Yeah, not necessarily with Brian, though.
15:11Now, Brian thinks there are creatures here that could hold the secret to saving millions of lives.
15:17That's worth looking for.
15:18Oh, wow.
15:19OK, let them stay there.
15:20Stay there with your secret.
15:22We are arriving.
15:23The main goal of our expedition is just there.
15:26What's the main?
15:27But today we are not going up.
15:29We are going down.
15:30Oh, no, I couldn't be going down.
15:32I'm terrible.
15:33When I got stuck behind that woman in the Great Pyramids that year, I'll never forget it.
15:44Cueva de los Tayos, a.k.a. where people don't come back out.
15:50You know what that means in Spanish?
15:51What?
15:52De ball.
15:54We are going down about 20-storey buildings.
15:5720-storey buildings.
15:5820-storey buildings?
15:59Yeah.
16:00Isn't there a lift?
16:01See you in the bottom.
16:02You go first.
16:04Set some lights up and a little fire.
16:06Imagine if down there there's a cure for cancer.
16:10He's shooting for the stars.
16:11Fair play to him.
16:12Oh, I'd go.
16:13I'd go.
16:14There's a cure for cancer.
16:15Oh, please let there be.
16:16I'll call my help.
16:17It wasn't long before Brian and Will's poking about would unearth some creepy crawlies.
16:23Oh, hey.
16:24Oh, that's a nice one.
16:26Oh, wow.
16:27That's all!
16:28Oh, my God!
16:29What the fuck!
16:31Sorry, Vin!
16:32Oh, my God!
16:33What?
16:34What?
16:35What?
16:36What?
16:37I'm not looking.
16:38I'm not looking.
16:39I'm not looking.
16:40We're going to need a bigger jug.
16:41Here we go.
16:43Oh, you know.
16:44That is yowd, that is yowd.
16:45I'll tell you what, that's got airier legs than me.
16:47Yeah, that thing is insane looking.
16:49Oh, my gosh.
16:50Could you imagine that in your bedroom?
16:52So what do they do now? They've got the animals,
16:55so how do they extract the venom?
16:58Cos them animals aren't going to give it freely, are they?
17:01So we're going to milk the biggest of the tarantulas.
17:04Milking tarantulas. Go on.
17:08How long does the spider stay knocked out?
17:10I try to do as minimal as possible,
17:12so it's usually out for about five minutes, ten minutes at most.
17:15So you should hurry up. Spider sedation?
17:18Well, I never.
17:20It takes three of us just to wrangle the animal.
17:23Uh-oh.
17:26Oh, it's just so big.
17:28All right, so first, Amalia is going to pop open one of the fangs.
17:35Whoa.
17:36Fucking hell! Stay to that!
17:39Jesus!
17:41Getting any venom? Oh, a nice big drop. Look at that.
17:44Look at that!
17:46It's milking.
17:48There we go. Ooh, that was a good amount.
17:50Oh, my God! Look at that!
17:52The spider's waking up rapidly.
17:53Oh!
17:54Oh, it's waking up now, Lee.
17:56Oh, shit! Rapidly! Fucking hell! Knock him out, man!
17:59Get some gas on him!
18:01Your first venom extraction.
18:03Look at all that.
18:04Will drinks it.
18:07We're going to do some shots down here, I know what!
18:12In Durham.
18:13When I go food shopping, because I go food shopping now.
18:15I've only done it twice.
18:17You must be starving.
18:18In the whole six months I've lived there.
18:20Best friends Abby and Georgia.
18:22Well, that's when I done that week of Hello Fresh, didn't I?
18:25Aww.
18:26Never do that again.
18:28Hated it.
18:30It was the worst week of my life.
18:32There was tomato puree up me walls.
18:35I hated every second.
18:37I'm being devious, I put a complaint in.
18:41Dindra, please send a chef with this next time.
18:47On Sunday night, ITV2 was showing us new ways to make a living.
18:51Right, get your notepad out.
18:53What?
18:54Living awkward.
18:55How to get filthy rich.
18:56Oh, I'd love to be filthy rich, wouldn't you?
18:58It's all right, I would.
19:03This gives you an insight into how people are making money
19:05in questionable ways.
19:07Yes.
19:08People that make money out of, like, OnlyFans and stuff.
19:11Oh.
19:12Ooh.
19:13Hey, I don't want Nat watching this getting ideas.
19:15Seeing what else there is available.
19:17Exactly.
19:18On the internet for money.
19:19No, well, do you know what?
19:20I actually did once buy some saucy underwear
19:23and he got annoyed with me and says,
19:25what have you bought that for?
19:28Visibility on social media of the foot fetish
19:30has spiked in recent years.
19:32Oh, foot fetish!
19:34I don't want to look at my own,
19:35let alone someone else's dusty, crusty feet.
19:37Does that turn you on?
19:38No, not really.
19:40Is it supposed to?
19:42With Pornhub reporting a 58% increase
19:45of interest from the under 35s.
19:48Don't include me in that.
19:50Yep.
19:51It's your generation.
19:52Look, it's your splat bang in the middle.
19:54My generation, we need to be doing better.
19:56I think everyone's got a foot fetish on a slide.
19:59No.
20:00No.
20:01One guy I found online stumbled upon
20:02the earning power of his feet
20:04while serving in the armed forces.
20:06What?
20:07You're joking.
20:08Surely you can't do that in the armed forces.
20:10Why are you so attractive about this size 11 stinky foot?
20:13Oh, Lord, move that foot away.
20:16He has been the only person thus far
20:19to be kicked out of the Navy for creating adult content.
20:23Why can't he do that and serve the nation?
20:28I like men in uniform though, Lee.
20:30Oh.
20:31I do, honestly.
20:32I can believe.
20:33Is that why you used to see the lollipop man?
20:35Yeah.
20:36What he's told me, which I don't really understand,
20:40but he's doing a sock drop.
20:42A what?
20:43Sock drop.
20:44Now, this isn't the first time I've heard about this.
20:46There's a post that says,
20:47Millennium Bridge, 10.30am today.
20:50I am leaving a pair of dirty socks.
20:53Come and get them.
20:54This is insane.
20:56I've missed my calling.
20:57The world has gone mad.
20:59I mean, my sock drawer needs a good sorting out, to be fair.
21:03If I could make a bit of money from selling my old socks.
21:06I bin my holy socks.
21:07Maybe I should be selling them.
21:09We're in central London today and, as requested,
21:12so many of you want me to leave a sock on Millennium Bridge.
21:15Guys, look, you might see me on this bridge
21:17because I was in London the other day.
21:18If I turn up, it's just coincidence.
21:20Yeah, right like that.
21:21So, I've actually got this pair that I've been wearing
21:23for four days straight.
21:24Oh!
21:25Four days?
21:26Why should they be walking around on their own?
21:28He suffers for his art, doesn't he?
21:30Clearly.
21:32He's tying them on.
21:34Right, there you go.
21:35Are we supposed to get a pair?
21:37Posted.
21:38Posted.
21:40Well, he's learnt something in the Navy Nut.
21:42He's learnt how to tie a knot.
21:44So, what do the people that have picked up the socks
21:46in the past look like?
21:47I want to see who's getting those socks.
21:49Yeah, I want to see.
21:50That's what I want to know.
21:51Name and shame.
21:52As we're leaving the bridge, Zach spots someone he recognises.
21:57No!
21:58He recognises somebody.
22:00That's one of my socks.
22:01Where?
22:02Where?
22:03Running for the sock now.
22:04That's one of his fans, Mary.
22:08How long's that been?
22:09What?
22:1030 seconds?
22:11Minute?
22:12Gross, he's on his street a week.
22:13Shall we meet him?
22:14Well, I mean, I would, obviously, but he's your fan, not mine.
22:17This is crazy.
22:18This is actually crazy.
22:21Where have they gone?
22:22Someone got him before him.
22:23Somebody's already got him!
22:25Oh, look, it's gutted.
22:27Where's the socks?
22:28Is he coming?
22:29Where are they?
22:30No, we're actually meeting a foot fetishist, Nutty.
22:31I think I've gone into a sort of nightmare or something.
22:33Well, better luck next time.
22:34Nice to meet you.
22:35Thanks for talking to me.
22:36I'll let you say your goodbyes.
22:37I'll give you a hug.
22:38Wait, really?
22:39I'll be nice.
22:40I'll give you a hug.
22:41I'll give you a hug.
22:42Wait, really?
22:43I'll be nice.
22:44I'll give you a hug.
22:45I'll give you a hug.
22:46I'll give you a hug.
22:47Wait, really?
22:48I'll be nice.
22:49I'll give you a hug.
22:50I'll give you a hug.
22:51Wait, really?
22:52I'll be nice.
22:53Oh, are they hugging?
22:54They're hugging Daniella.
22:55Right.
22:56That'll be better than the socks.
22:58Yeah.
22:59What could I show people?
23:03What's the matter?
23:04Well, I don't want to play because I'm thinking it's going to be stinky underwear.
23:10That's what I want, Jane.
23:11I could do a bra, couldn't I?
23:13Yeah, way too much already.
23:15I am so in to sell socks.
23:19No socks.
23:20It's not happening, darling.
23:24And I'm going and checking every sock in the drawer upstairs before we go to bed tonight.
23:29There's going to be a sock register.
23:30And there's going to be a sock register upstairs.
23:32And if any socks have gone next week, I'll know where they are.
23:36In the Cotswolds.
23:46I almost did dry January.
23:48What do you mean you almost did?
23:49Well, I did.
23:50I did that week.
23:51The week where you did three days.
23:53I did four.
23:54Andrew and his husband Alfie.
23:57I quite liked it for my ten days.
23:59There's probably 30 non-alcoholic beers still left in the fridge.
24:02Yeah, I drank four.
24:04Okay, so it wasn't that.
24:05It was more of a damn January.
24:06It was a total damn January.
24:08Okay.
24:09On Monday night, there were more police in pursuit on Channel 5.
24:13Can I just chill?
24:14Oh, I couldn't possibly.
24:15Thank you so much.
24:17Come on.
24:18Off you, Cobb.
24:19Good girl.
24:20Yay!
24:21Watch this for me.
24:22Right, we're going to watch this so that you know what not to do on the motorway now that
24:26you're learning to drive.
24:27It's fine, Jay.
24:28Go so slowly.
24:29Cheers, Captain Obvious.
24:31When it comes to bad driving, dash camp never lies.
24:36There are some shite drivers out there, aren't there?
24:38Shite.
24:39Shite.
24:40Locking up the most dangerous people on our roads are the motorway cops.
24:45I'd love to see them catch a few.
24:47I haven't been on the motorway for ages.
24:49Since my mother died, there's no reason to go anywhere.
24:52Mum would make a good motorway cop.
24:54She can make a one-point-full turbo mocker do things that the Stig could only dream of.
25:00I like driving on the motorway, but I hate the lane hoggers man.
25:05Move out the way!
25:07Shite doesn't like the lane hoggers, Andre!
25:09She is a lane hogger.
25:10She's the number one lane hogger!
25:13Oh, my days, Shite.
25:15That's worse than me.
25:16That is worse than me.
25:17Try, Shite.
25:18Your dad goes all over the place.
25:20You're like, Andre, just stay in one lane, man.
25:21I move over.
25:22Shite sits there, in his little mini.
25:24Ombudside police, what's the emergency?
25:29Ombudside.
25:30That's us.
25:31It's the refinery service station.
25:32I've got a theft of fuel just literally left us right now.
25:35A theft of fuel?
25:36You know what that means, don't you, Shite?
25:37They've net some fuel.
25:38That's right.
25:39I've done that.
25:40Have you driven away?
25:41Yeah.
25:42Without paying?
25:43Yeah.
25:44Accidentally, mine was paid.
25:45Of course!
25:46Mark, stop it!
25:47He looks stoned outside.
25:48Oh, he's stoned on the drugs.
25:50He's on drugs as he left.
25:51Oh, that's even worse, isn't it?
25:53Mill's made off with fuel.
25:54It's a Bentley Continental in black.
25:57A Bentley Continental!
25:59Oh, what?
26:00What's that?
26:01It's a Bentley!
26:02And you can't pay for your fuel?
26:03The last reliable site was at Inningham Dock.
26:05Tango November 1-1.
26:07We're blue lighting across there now.
26:09We're blue lighting.
26:10We're blue lighting.
26:11He's a hallucination.
26:14He believes he's the second coming of Jesus.
26:16He believes he's the second coming of Jesus.
26:18Oh, Jesus.
26:19He's off his trolley then.
26:21To be fair, I would imagine that the second coming of Jesus
26:24would drive round a Bentley Continental.
26:26Yeah.
26:27He'll make a lot of distance in the vehicle.
26:30He's got a couple of pals in the car and all.
26:32So it's Jesus and the disciples.
26:35It is failing to stop.
26:37Well in excess of 7-0 in a 3-0.
26:41Oh, I see 17 or 30.
26:43Yeah, that's way worse than I was.
26:45This is marvellous, this programme.
26:47Yeah.
26:50There's the car.
26:51The wagons have got him!
26:52Eight CVs have got him!
26:53Box him in! Box him in!
26:59Stop! Stop!
27:00Yeah, stop, you silly bastard.
27:02Contact made with Subjet vehicle.
27:04Contact made.
27:05Vehicle is continuing.
27:07No!
27:08He's gone away!
27:09The lorries!
27:10Oh, my days!
27:12You stupid wagons!
27:14Fucking wagon drivers.
27:18He's going to go straight through!
27:19Oh!
27:20Oh!
27:21It just went through the barrier.
27:24It's going right, right, right.
27:26Right, right, right.
27:27Oh!
27:28Oh, my God!
27:29This is absolutely wild.
27:31This is crazy.
27:32It's like a James Bond film.
27:33Isn't it?
27:34Hang on, November 1-1.
27:35Other units are now on site.
27:38You've got back up.
27:39OK, good, good.
27:40Finally.
27:41Where's the helicopter man?
27:46Shit, I break.
27:47This is fast.
27:48This is so cool.
27:50For all the wrong reasons.
27:52This must be the best car chaser ever.
27:54They're fantastic, isn't it?
27:58They got him.
27:59They got him.
28:00That's it.
28:01They got him.
28:02He's been dogged.
28:04He's been dogged?
28:05He's been dogged!
28:06He's been dogged!
28:07He's been dogged!
28:09He's been dogged!
28:10Get him dogged!
28:11Lay it on your front!
28:12Lay it on your front!
28:13Do it now!
28:14Do not move!
28:15I don't think he can move, can he?
28:16There's not John's been moving.
28:17Where's he off to?
28:18Right mate, you're under arrest on suspicion of failing to stop for police, dangerous driving and abduct slash kidnap.
28:26Suspicion of failing to stop for the police?
28:28There's no suspicion in that.
28:29Yeah, man.
28:30He's gone for 40 miles at 100 miles an hour.
28:33Charge him for that one now.
28:34Do you understand?
28:35I was scared.
28:36Sorry?
28:37I was scared.
28:38I do nothing to know what.
28:40Oh, look at that.
28:41Fucking hell.
28:42He's wrecked that car.
28:44I mean, your mama's come back with some dents and scratches, but never like that.
28:47In Leeds.
28:54Izzy, is that my jaw or have I got jowls?
28:58Jowls, definitely.
28:59Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
29:02I'm getting jowls.
29:03Yeah.
29:04Seriously?
29:05Like, you being mean or you being honest?
29:08Let me feel.
29:10It's jowls.
29:13Fuck's sake.
29:14Gobble gobble.
29:15On Friday, an exciting expose was making the headlines on the BBC.
29:25As soon as we put the news on, any chance we could watch it?
29:28Because it would be nice.
29:29You know what?
29:30I do love looking at doggies.
29:31Well, thanks for the kiss.
29:32HE LAUGHS
29:41Do you have to keep fucking slapping?
29:43Well, get me some bread then.
29:45Complaints about rogue locksmiths have risen by two thirds over the last four years.
29:50Good heavens.
29:51Good grief.
29:52I had no idea that was a thing.
29:53No one needs to die.
29:54Oh, dear.
29:55What are they doing?
29:56Using a tactic known as bait and switch where companies offer an affordable call-out fee,
30:02but hike up the price when they get there.
30:04Oh, that's when you hear the whip.
30:06Oh.
30:07Yeah.
30:08Oh, that's a mortis.
30:09Five lever.
30:10Yeah.
30:11Five lever.
30:12Oh.
30:13Basically, every plumber and locksmith and builder and roofer in London is a crook.
30:19No.
30:20No, not all crooks.
30:21Emergency call-out fee, £45.
30:23Finn and Maria were locked inside when they called 24-7 Locksmiths UK.
30:28How do you lock inside?
30:29You got locked between two doors one time.
30:31I did.
30:32I got locked in the port.
30:33It was there all day till I got back from work.
30:35They say they were quoted £45 over the phone.
30:39Well, that's where they get you.
30:40Cheap call-out fee.
30:42Expensive repair bills.
30:43Yes.
30:44Just making store fault.
30:45We're going to have to replace the door here, love.
30:47Yeah.
30:48Yeah.
30:49Really, we're going to have to knock down this house, really, to get you in.
30:51I stopped my head out the window and said, do not break the lock.
30:53We can, you know, we can definitely fix this without doing that.
30:55We're not going to have to replace this.
30:56You don't need to do that.
30:57And he said, no, I need to do it.
30:58Snap.
30:59Lock was broken.
31:00He was in.
31:01I love how she's laughing at the situation.
31:02Yeah, because she's thinking that's definitely not how it panned out.
31:05Yeah, that's not how it panned out at all.
31:07You know, you've said to me it doesn't need doing, he said it needs doing, and I've said,
31:11let's do it.
31:12£1,250 altogether.
31:14What?
31:15Oh!
31:16How much?
31:17How did you get to that much?
31:19The call-out fee was 45.
31:2145.
31:22Thieving robbing bastards.
31:24We wanted to investigate.
31:25Yeah.
31:26Come on, let's set him up.
31:27So, we secured a property and rigged it with secret cameras.
31:31Oh, I love this.
31:32A sting.
31:33Is this the news?
31:34Yes.
31:35It's quite a long news, isn't it?
31:37Yeah.
31:38But first, we wanted to prove that this lock didn't need to be drilled.
31:43We should be able to bypass this lock in seconds.
31:46No damage.
31:47By bypassing means break in.
31:48Yeah.
31:49And they're not going to show us how to do that, because that would be a bad idea.
31:55Is that how quick it is?
31:57Then we made the call.
31:58We charge £40 for a simple door opening.
32:01Well, then you'd snap their hand off at that, wouldn't you?
32:03£40.
32:04Sounds quite reasonable.
32:05Yeah.
32:06So, to open it, I'm going to have to drill the lock.
32:07Oh!
32:08Here we go.
32:09You barely even examined it, mate!
32:11The price of drilling is £125 for VAT.
32:13He's just throwing prices at him.
32:15No, that's naughty.
32:17But at this point, when he's there going, price of this £125, I'd say, put your tool
32:21back in your van tiger and fuck off.
32:23Yeah.
32:24Butchery, it's villainous.
32:26So, there you go.
32:29That's the lock ruined now.
32:31314 plus the VAT.
32:33376.
32:34376.
32:35Oh, my God.
32:36£376.
32:37Where's Dominic Littlewood when you need him?
32:39You know, he needs to be out there, on the beat.
32:41Yeah.
32:42Do we go now?
32:43Yeah.
32:44Oh!
32:45I love wrong-uns being caught.
32:49Hello.
32:50We're the BBC.
32:51Why are you charging so much for this job?
32:53Why is it costing so much?
32:55Because I'm a corn man.
32:56I know.
32:57Next question.
32:59We email the company for further comment.
33:02They've yet to respond, and their website has been taken down.
33:05Oh, there's a surprise.
33:06Yeah, but it's probably been set up under another name.
33:08Yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:09You know, at least Dominic Littlewood would get stuck in.
33:11Oh, he'd have booted.
33:12He'd have fucking kicked the wing wearer off or something.
33:14At least.
33:16Yeah.
33:17Yeah.
33:18Yeah.
33:19Yeah.
33:20In Blackpool.
33:21Hey, Soph.
33:22Treating myself to a new suit.
33:23Oh, very nice.
33:24Hi.
33:25Yeah.
33:26It was awkward, actually.
33:27Because we were just chatting to the lads that were there, you know, whose shop it is,
33:33Chris's shop.
33:34Pete and his little sister Sophie.
33:35Because we were chatting and that, I didn't want to get changed in the dressing room because
33:40I thought it were rude.
33:41So, I just got changed in the shop.
33:42And next thing, this dude's walked in and all I've got on is my undies and a smile.
33:45I don't think that's right.
33:46Well, nobody seemed to mind.
33:47That was the thing.
33:48But it just felt a bit awkward.
33:49Are you sure those men even work there?
33:50Well, I would hope so.
33:51You know, isn't it a curtain as well?
33:52So, even if you were chatting, you could just chat with me.
33:53Yeah.
33:54Yeah.
33:55Yeah.
33:56Yeah.
33:57Yeah.
33:58Yeah.
33:59Yeah.
34:00Yeah.
34:01Yeah.
34:02Yeah.
34:03Yeah.
34:04Yeah.
34:05Yeah.
34:06Yeah.
34:07Yeah.
34:08Yeah.
34:09Yeah.
34:10Yeah.
34:11Oh, well, so even if you were chatting, you could just chat through the curtains.
34:12I know but I like to make eye contact when I'm speaking to people.
34:15I bet the people at work's in the shop, when you drop your trousers they were thinking.
34:20What a lad.
34:21What is happening?
34:23What?
34:24This week, it was the return of the raciest Regency drama on Netflix.
34:29Oh, I'm buzzing Bridgerton's back on.
34:31I've been listening to mucky bucks lately.
34:34Have you, you dirty bitch?
34:35See if we get some naughty bits.
34:42Is that what you're watching it for?
34:43No, it's educational.
34:46Is everything well, Mum?
34:48Oh, everything is perfect.
34:50It shouldn't be perfect.
34:52It would be perfect if... Where is Benedict?
34:54Who's Benedict? That's her other son.
34:57If he guesses where he is, he's probably shagging.
34:59Liar.
35:00Yeah.
35:03Oh.
35:04That butler knows exactly where Benedict is.
35:07Exactly.
35:08Yeah.
35:11Please fetch my carriage.
35:12Uh-oh.
35:14Is she going to go and find him?
35:18That is a mother with purpose.
35:20Oh, she's on a mission there, isn't she?
35:22I've seen that walk before.
35:24From your mother?
35:25Yeah.
35:26Move!
35:28Here we go!
35:29What's she going to find?
35:32Oh, my gosh!
35:33What's she walked in on?
35:35I don't know.
35:36It's a shittle.
35:40Benedict Bridgerton.
35:41Oh, my word.
35:42Woo!
35:43Oh, ho, ho!
35:45It was best she'd just stay down the roof.
35:46Yeah, what was she expecting?
35:48Draw back the curtains.
35:49It is time for my son to wake up.
35:50No, no, no.
35:51Please, please do not.
35:52Oh.
35:52Oh, there's another one.
35:57He's had an orgy in there, true.
35:59Fancy being caught by your mother like that?
36:01There's always a black sheep in the family, isn't there?
36:03Who's that, Jane?
36:11I don't know.
36:11I've not seen this one before.
36:13Who is she?
36:13What are you asking me for?
36:14Like, I don't know.
36:16I can do this.
36:17I can do this.
36:18She looks as if she's nervous to go in there.
36:20I don't think she's used to this sort of thing.
36:22She's not giving swanky Bridgerton do, is she?
36:24There is a large group arriving.
36:26Just conceal yourself behind her.
36:29You'll just be out by midnight.
36:31Oh, Cinderella!
36:32Fuck it, Cinderella!
36:34Oh, God!
36:35Out by midnight?
36:36Was she going to leave her gloss slip off?
36:38Good evening, ladies.
36:39Good evening.
36:42Here he is.
36:43Benedict.
36:43The man of the hour.
36:44Old Benedict.
36:45Oh, he's such a ladies' man.
36:47Mr Bridgerton.
36:48Mr Bridgerton.
36:49Over here.
36:52Hello.
36:54Oh, look who he's spotted.
36:56The unknown.
36:57That glance across a crowded room, Michelle.
36:59I know.
37:01Pardon me, young lady.
37:02Could I trouble you for the next dance?
37:04Oh, no.
37:05Missed a chance, Benedict.
37:07Oh.
37:08That is unlucky.
37:10Oh, he's in like Flynn.
37:12Never seen him move so quick in my life.
37:14Forgive me for interrupting.
37:14I have just found this young lady's dance card.
37:17But, unfortunately, my name is next.
37:20No!
37:20Oh, no!
37:23Bingo.
37:24Smooth movie.
37:25Oh, I'm not looking for a husband.
37:28You're not?
37:29Oh, no, she's talking his language.
37:32That's going to change his world.
37:33Yeah.
37:34He's like, she's the woman for me.
37:37Excuse me, I'm meant to be somewhere.
37:40Where's she going?
37:41Is it midnight already?
37:42I can't, she just got there.
37:44Have you lost your chakra?
37:44No.
37:45Is it that we've met?
37:46No, I cannot dance.
37:47Oh, she can't dance.
37:49Because she's not a lady.
37:50Oh, she's common as muck, Jenny.
37:52She's common as muck.
37:53A lady who cannot dance?
37:58Huh.
37:59He's mind blown.
38:00Yeah.
38:00He's like, tick.
38:02She's unladylike.
38:04Tick.
38:05She's not a husband.
38:06That's her own marriage.
38:06Tick.
38:07Later in the garden, we saw Benedict showing the mystery woman a few moves.
38:13Two, three, one, two.
38:16How gorgeous.
38:17It's been really sweet and romantic with her.
38:24What's he doing?
38:27He was taking her glove off.
38:29What for?
38:29What's happening?
38:35Why is he smelling her?
38:38He's infatuated.
38:40My guy said, I want to get a good smell of this.
38:47Oh, she's got to go.
38:49Is it 12 o'clock yet?
38:50Oh, the charms.
38:54Oh, here we go.
38:55Oh, it's very forward, isn't it, Nottie?
38:59Oh, she's got to go.
39:01Wait.
39:03She said, you ain't going to forget me, boy.
39:05Mm-hmm.
39:05Who is this mystery woman?
39:07I'm dying to know.
39:13Oh, come on, take it off.
39:14Tell us who you are.
39:15We're going to get to see her face now.
39:21She's one of the maids.
39:22She's a freaking maid.
39:27Oh, Jane.
39:28Oh, this is forbidden love.
39:31That were quite tame for Bridgerton.
39:33That's just getting us warmed up, that.
39:36It's not even started yet.
39:37Just getting the juices flowing, yeah?
39:41In home.
39:42Hey, do you know the listening, you know, on these phones?
39:46I know, do you?
39:47Do you know something?
39:47Yesterday, I was talking about potato waffles.
39:51Oh, yeah.
39:52Then I went on, and potato waffles started coming on me phone.
39:55He's joking.
39:56No, I swear.
39:58Best friends, Jenny and Lee.
40:00I did that with the barbecue.
40:02What?
40:02Because we were talking about getting a barbecue,
40:05and then the next minute, I was sat,
40:07and it come up on me phone.
40:09So they hear what you're saying.
40:10The next time I was sat there, I said,
40:14I want a six-foot man.
40:15Unk, like that.
40:17Send me some of them.
40:19And it's the lad arrived.
40:21No, I'm still waiting for it.
40:22I need to talk to them more often than, don't I?
40:27Yeah.
40:28Six-foot-two, six-foot-two.
40:30Yeah, six-foot-two, dark hair.
40:32Don't want blonde, dark hair.
40:35See what pops up.
40:37It'll be race done on his chair.
40:39On Monday night, Alan Carr was on the hunt for closet clever clogs on Channel 4.
40:48I've done like you, Jess.
40:49Yeah.
40:50I did pretty well.
40:51I got like 120 or something.
40:53I got 121, I think.
40:54You're a liar.
40:56No, I'm not a liar.
40:57You just picked one higher than me.
40:58No, I didn't do it.
41:00I swear, I'm sure it was 121.
41:04Across the UK, there are estimated to be a million undiscovered geniuses.
41:10Oh, I wonder if I'm one of them.
41:12You could be a genius and not realise.
41:15Yeah.
41:16That's probably me.
41:18That's me all over.
41:21When I was a kid, I used to know everybody's reg plate on a state where I lived.
41:25Oh, Michelle knows that.
41:27She's a copy.
41:27Each week, 12 people from different corners of the UK...
41:32Complete the number sequence.
41:35...have been invited to Genius HQ.
41:38Okay.
41:38Oh.
41:39Genius HQ.
41:41I'd love to go to Genius HQ.
41:42Yeah, we're going to send you in, darling.
41:43We're going to sign you up for this.
41:45Get me in there.
41:46Here, they'll compete in a series of mind-stretching games...
41:50Where do we begin?
41:51...designed with Mensa.
41:53Oh, God.
41:54I've heard of Mensa.
41:55The Society for the World's Smartest People.
41:58I was told I wouldn't go far in life.
42:00That's nasty.
42:02And I...
42:02Who are these horrible people that taught you, please?
42:05Honestly.
42:05Horrible bastards.
42:06Fuck yous all.
42:07This is what I was told.
42:08And you know what?
42:10Actually, I wish I could say to them now,
42:12er, hello, I work in the cheese factory.
42:18I'm proper smart, me.
42:19Oh, jeez.
42:21I would be intrigued to know what my IQ was.
42:24But would I?
42:26Because if it's really low...
42:28I don't want to know.
42:29Better off not knowing.
42:30Better off not knowing.
42:31Better off burying your head in the sand.
42:3227-year-old Jess is the first player to face the final round.
42:37Come on, Jess.
42:38Oh, Jess, she's a real smart cookie.
42:41Yeah.
42:41Let's see how she does with this one.
42:43Okay.
42:43Right.
42:46Memorise the details of this stack of Turkish delight.
42:49Oh, I love Turkish delight.
42:51Turkish dish, yeah.
42:51It's more, right?
42:52I want to eat that.
42:53When you are ready, you must move on to the next room.
42:55Your first question can be found on the jar.
42:59Okay.
43:00I think I'll be looking at the colours, you know,
43:03how they run, the sequence.
43:04I just want to eat the Turkish delight.
43:06Select the jar that displays the number of cubes
43:08in the Turkish delight tower.
43:10How would you know that?
43:11How would you count them all then?
43:12This is about spatial reasoning.
43:14Right, no, lost me.
43:15How the bloody hell would you know that?
43:17I'll tell you what, it's quite hard, this self.
43:19It is.
43:19I got a general vibe that it was definitely over 100.
43:25What?
43:25Yeah.
43:25I'm going to go 162.
43:28Yeah, but there's no reasoning behind it.
43:31Well, I've got so far and I'm thinking,
43:34yeah, there's a lot of Turkish delight there.
43:36I didn't think that would be the Turkish delight there.
43:42Correct.
43:43No way.
43:44Bloody hell.
43:45Damn, she's quick.
43:46Well, I won far out, 162.
43:50So that's not bad.
43:52Contextors of jam, elderflower.
43:54Right, let's try the next one.
43:56Jelly.
43:57Ooh, jelly.
43:58Very good.
43:59We're looking for a verbal secret.
44:01Jelly what?
44:02Jelly beans.
44:03Jelly.
44:03Jelly.
44:04Whoa.
44:05Jelly.
44:06Jelly.
44:06Jelly.
44:06Ooh.
44:08Whoa.
44:09Warm.
44:10Jelly.
44:11Jelly worms.
44:11Jelly worms.
44:13The seven.
44:15What's that?
44:15Seven becomes an L?
44:18Oh, that's L.
44:19It's like an L.
44:24Oh, L.
44:25Oh, lemon.
44:26Lemon.
44:27Lemon plop.
44:29It is lemon plop.
44:31Is it?
44:33Lemon drop, isn't it?
44:34Drop.
44:35Lemon drop.
44:36Lemon drop.
44:37I like that.
44:38Huh?
44:39Lemon drop.
44:40Not lemon plop.
44:41It's lemon drop.
44:43What am I?
44:44What am I?
44:46Squirrel.
44:46Squirrel minus question.
44:48Okay.
44:50Have you got it?
44:51No.
44:51Is it word, word, and then you have to add the O-I-C to make a new word?
44:56That is the trickiest question.
44:59Oh, look at the sweets.
45:00How can there be an answer out of this?
45:02Is it licorice?
45:07It's not licorice.
45:08There's no H.
45:10There's no H in licorice, you dickhead.
45:13Yeah, licorice.
45:16Licorice.
45:18Yes.
45:19Wow.
45:20Licorice?
45:21Well, what's licorice got to do with Squirrel?
45:23Well done.
45:25That was amazing, that whole reasony.
45:27Well done, Jess.
45:28She was amazing.
45:29I can't believe it.
45:31I actually can't believe I've done it.
45:34I'm impressed there.
45:35I'll give you that.
45:36I'm smart.
45:38I'm not...
45:39Listen, remember the paddling pool?
45:44Do you remember the paddling pool?
45:46Yeah.
45:47And it said, fill it with water.
45:50Yeah?
45:51You filled the bit you brought with air.
45:54With water.
45:58And then we couldn't get it up because the other inflatable bit was full of water.
46:02Do you remember that, Sean?
46:04Yeah.
46:05And you're telling me you're a fucking secret genius.
46:07Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:09Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:09Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:10Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:11Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:12Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:12Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:13Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:14Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:14Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:15Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:16Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:17Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:18Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:19Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:20Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:21Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:22Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:23Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:24Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:25Do you remember the paddling pool?
46:26Do you remember the paddling pool?
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