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00:00Ta-da!
00:03Are you ready for Puddy's Day?
00:05Yeah!
00:06Shhh, Gitchy!
00:11Where's yours?
00:12You look like a leprechaun drag queen!
00:14Where's yours?
00:16Man, I'm ready!
00:17Where is it?
00:18Yeah, I'm ready!
00:20Oh, you said you was getting dressed up!
00:24I am!
00:26I didn't know you'd go that far!
00:30I'm ready for the world!
00:34Have you ever done how like that?
00:36Well, I ain't telling you what they had!
00:39Oh, Barcelona!
00:43No, I don't like that this guy's trying to tell me how to eat my dinner.
00:46A what?
00:47False fetish!
00:48I had no idea that was a thing!
00:50Remove my britches!
00:51Expose your loins!
00:52I like that!
00:56Oh, Ronnie!
00:57This is weird!
00:58He's a mercenary bugger, isn't he?
01:00This is why I don't date!
01:01That is Dyson with the devil!
01:03Oh, no!
01:04He suffers for his art, doesn't he?
01:06Clearly!
01:06A Bentley Continental!
01:08I think I'd rather call it a Dane, I'd say, wouldn't you?
01:11Who's been arrested now, and for what?
01:15In the week Jessie Buckley became the first Irish woman ever to win Best Actress at the Oscars, we enjoyed
01:23lots of great telly.
01:25There was a must-see BAFTA winner on Netflix.
01:28I've seen quite a few youngsters for this job.
01:31Aye!
01:31And I don't think I'm breaking any confidentiality when I tell you that that is the best cup of tea
01:37yet.
01:38Great.
01:39It means something when someone you respect tells you that you make good tea.
01:42Yeah.
01:43Dad's never said it to us, has he?
01:44Has he ever said it to you?
01:45Once or twice, yeah.
01:46When?
01:47No, he hasn't.
01:49I've written it down in my diary.
01:50What do you say?
01:52Once or twice?
01:53Yeah.
01:53Well, that's more than the number of times you made me tea.
01:56Mrs. Trump had her own show on Prime Video.
02:00If we go out, I think people will already know where we would go out, so.
02:04I do like her smokey eye, don't you think?
02:10I'm trying to hear that, look.
02:11He'll see me.
02:15I might try it out, you know, on a night owl too.
02:18And then when people ask me, ooh, that looks nice.
02:21What did you get this far from, Melania?
02:23First lady.
02:25And there was some straight talking down under on E4.
02:29Um, so one thing I asked experts for but didn't get is Bradley Cooper.
02:36Clearly doesn't fit her profile, does it?
02:38I mean, when I married you, Steve, I thought you looked like Brian Ferry,
02:42but now you look like Danny DeVito, so people change.
02:46Don't they?
02:48Sorry?
02:50They change.
02:52Who do I look like now? Danny DeVito.
02:56I married Brian Ferry.
02:58What happened?
03:06In Wiltshire.
03:08On the mainland, we drink out of cups and saucers, not jugs, Mary.
03:12Yes, there's no mugs or cups in the kitchen.
03:14You're obviously relapsing into your northern Irish habits.
03:18I have to drink out of this because you have taken all the cups and mugs…
03:22Is that…
03:22Is that…
03:22…into the garden.
03:23Giles and his wife, Mary.
03:26So I'm just going to have to keep drinking out of jugs until all the jugs have gone into
03:31the garden as well.
03:32And what will I be left with?
03:34Saucepans.
03:35I'll be drinking out of saucepans next.
03:36Oh no, Mary.
03:38We don't want you relapsing into barbarism.
03:41What do you mean, relapsing into barbarism?
03:45What are you talking about?
03:46Well, you've come such a long way since you've moved to the mainland.
03:51On Saturday night, Graham Norton had us all in a spin again on ITV.
03:56My favourite type of wheel is my car steering wheel with that lovely diamond-y cover on.
04:02Horrible, that.
04:05The worst thing I've ever seen.
04:06Are you doing your newspaper quizzes every day to keep your brain in gear?
04:09I do the easy crossword and all the little puzzles.
04:12Oh, well done, you.
04:13Except the cryptic.
04:14I can't do the cryptic because I simply don't know what they're talking about.
04:20Wheel of Fortune!
04:23Stop it, there's no need for that.
04:26Let's start winning with three quick-fire puzzles.
04:28You got your buzzers there?
04:30All right.
04:30Right, okay, I'm ready.
04:31I'm ready.
04:32The clue for all three of these is...
04:35Curious Collectives.
04:36Curious Collectives.
04:38I'm lost with the clue.
04:39This one is worth £500.
04:42Er...
04:43Ah.
04:43Yes.
04:45Of.
04:45A something of.
04:50Prickle of...
04:51A prickle of what?
04:52A prickle of...
04:53A prickle of...
04:54A prickle of...
04:55A prickle of summer.
04:55Juleps.
04:57A prickle of fuck-ups.
04:59No.
05:00Hedgehogs.
05:01No.
05:02Porcupines!
05:04Porcupines!
05:04And it's Daniel.
05:05A prickle of porcupines.
05:08He's only got a...
05:10I got that.
05:11You did?
05:11I got that before all of them.
05:13Well done.
05:16Another curious collective.
05:18A something of something.
05:20Ah.
05:22Where's ah?
05:23Where are you getting ah from?
05:24This is the first letter.
05:24I think everything starts with ah.
05:26Is it?
05:26True.
05:29Something goes.
05:31Flamingos.
05:33Flamingos.
05:43Flamingos.
05:43Daniel.
05:44A flamboyance of...
05:46Flamingos.
05:47A flamboy-
05:49Oh.
05:51It's all X innit?
05:53Celebrity second jobs.
05:57Kylie Minogue.
05:58No.
05:58No.
06:01Lighthouse keeper.
06:02Billy Piper.
06:04No.
06:04You can see it.
06:05Um.
06:07Who could be a lighthouse keeper?
06:10Dua Lipa.
06:11Lighthouse keeper.
06:12Daniel.
06:13And it's Daniel again.
06:14Daniel, can you just give the others a chance please?
06:17Dua Lipa.
06:18Lighthouse keeper.
06:19Wow.
06:20Oh my God.
06:21No one's ever going to get that.
06:23I got it.
06:24I got it.
06:24Did you see me get that then?
06:26I don't think Dua Lipa has a lighthouse.
06:28She must be.
06:29That must be what she does in her spare time.
06:31Second job.
06:32Lighthouse.
06:32Surely not.
06:33This is a very special skill you have Daniel.
06:35This guy must be an expert in this.
06:37Random game that no one can figure out yet.
06:40They've got to level the playing field.
06:42Take Daniel's glasses off him or something.
06:45Let's go for our third and final toss up.
06:47Third and final.
06:50Who's going to solve it?
06:52Celebrity second jobs.
06:53Celine Dion.
06:54Celine Dion.
06:56Why do you keep following me?
06:57Everything can't say it.
06:58You're like a parrot yo.
07:03Traffic warden.
07:04Something Dorden traffic warden.
07:07Traffic warden.
07:08Traffic warden.
07:08Traffic warden.
07:09What's the name though?
07:12Gordon.
07:13Something Gordon.
07:13Who Gordon?
07:15Which Gordon?
07:17James Corden.
07:19James Corden.
07:20James Corden.
07:21James Corden traffic warden.
07:22Do you mind not shouting?
07:23Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
07:26Stupid girl.
07:28And it's Nicole.
07:30And it's Nicole.
07:30Oh look, Nicole, yes.
07:31James Corden traffic warden.
07:33Who?
07:34No!
07:35Oh my God.
07:37Then you know who's going to come in and nick it.
07:40Daniel.
07:41James Corden traffic warden.
07:44Yes!
07:45Oh.
07:46Oh they should have let her have it, Mary.
07:48No, she got it wrong.
07:49Oh, he was nearly there, Nicole.
07:51You give him a book.
07:51Well, at least the buzzer's working.
07:53Yeah.
07:54Yeah.
07:57Incafilly.
07:58Ah, so do you fancy your idea of going to Paris for your birthday or no?
08:03Well, I don't mind France.
08:05Paris is in France.
08:07I thought it was two different places.
08:09Dave and his wife, Shirley.
08:11Well, Paris is the capital of France.
08:14Oh, I didn't know that.
08:15How long have you been under this?
08:17Well, I always thought, you know, there was that leaning tower of pizza, innit?
08:24That's in Paris, innit?
08:27That's in Italy and Rome.
08:28Is it?
08:29Yeah.
08:30Oh, no, I mean the other...
08:31Geographically.
08:33I mean the other building.
08:36Not the Eiffel.
08:38Oh, the Eiffel Tower.
08:39The Blackpool Tower.
08:39No, the Eiffel Tower, innit?
08:41What is it?
08:42The Eiffel Tower.
08:43The Eiffel Tower.
08:44Yeah.
08:45It's the Eiffel Tower.
08:47Oh, right.
08:48God help us.
08:48I don't know where the hell I am.
08:50On Wednesday night, the latest bunch of Maff's newlyweds were moving in together on Eiffel.
08:56I remember your wedding, Natia, and what...
08:59What do you mean my wedding?
09:00You were at it.
09:00Sorry, I remember our wedding, and I remember what the most thing that your mother was so
09:05proud of was the amount of vol-au-vent and small sausage rolls.
09:10Don't start this again.
09:11And trifle Mary.
09:14SHE LAUGHS
09:15She's produced several trifles.
09:17And I remember your mother coming with, wearing a nylon bikini to the wedding.
09:22No, no, that's not correct.
09:23Well, exactly.
09:24Neither did my mother serve trifles and vol-au-vents.
09:27But if my memory serves me correctly...
09:29Well, it doesn't.
09:34I asked Nat the other day when we're gonna get married, and he said we're not.
09:37So I says, well, what about inheritance tax?
09:40And he says, well, there's ways and means.
09:42What a way to woo a guy, let's talk about when one of us dies.
09:47Woo!
09:48Let's get married.
09:49I'm clutching at straws here.
09:54Mel and Luke, darling.
09:56I know.
09:56These two have got off on the wrong foot so far.
10:06Oh, this looks fun, doesn't it?
10:07They don't seem happy, do they?
10:13That freakin' violin's getting on my mat.
10:16It's just awkward and frosty, man.
10:19Why are they not talking to each other?
10:20I'm feeling quite flat,
10:21because obviously the situation with Mel and I isn't great.
10:25We can see that, really.
10:27You don't have to tell us.
10:28Bloody hell.
10:28It definitely feels, like, a little bit uncomfortable.
10:31He makes me look excitable.
10:34Stop it.
10:36Feels, like, pretty awkward, to be honest.
10:38Yeah, welcome to marriage.
10:39That's a nice little area.
10:41Yeah.
10:42And it's got a coffee machine, which is great.
10:46Well, you can't have a relationship without a coffee machine.
10:49Can you?
10:50No.
10:51Not very nice.
10:52Yeah.
10:53And a microwave.
10:55Oh, yeah, let's just point out everything around the room.
10:57Yeah.
10:58And it's got a window.
10:59Oh, my God.
10:59It's got a door.
11:00It's got a bed.
11:01It's got a bed, yeah.
11:02The photo ranking task returns in Revelations Week.
11:05Oh, no.
11:06God, this is the worst one, isn't it?
11:08It's brutal.
11:09You're an absolute dick if you don't put your wife first.
11:12Exactly.
11:13I mean, couldn't be clearer.
11:15I feel like this is a really hard challenge to do.
11:17Like, all the girls are pretty.
11:19Yeah, yeah.
11:20God, please, just, please, just get it right.
11:23That's the shag pile there.
11:25And that's the avoid just a picture of it.
11:28And then pop you right here.
11:33Oh, he's put airfare.
11:35Number one.
11:35Mail number one.
11:37Nailed it.
11:37This is a truthful experiment.
11:39This is a truthful task.
11:41I pride myself on being honest throughout this whole experiment.
11:43Oh, she's going to be brutally honest.
11:45Summit tells me she ain't going to put him first.
11:48We've got Scott here.
11:52And then Grayson here.
11:53Tell you what, they've all got turkey teeth, haven't they?
11:56Oh.
11:56Oh, look at you.
11:59And then you.
12:02We've got you here.
12:06Where is she going to put him now, Tom?
12:08I'm a little bit nervous, Simon.
12:10Physically, like, you do look like some sort of, like, Greg God.
12:13Oh, no, I feel about coming on.
12:15Bart.
12:15So, I've put you just here next to Greg.
12:17Close second, though.
12:19Oh, she's second.
12:21Oh!
12:22That's not bad, considering they're not getting on.
12:25That's terrible.
12:26It's not bad.
12:27Mum, if a man did that to me, you would be fuming.
12:31That just knocks me down even further, to be honest.
12:34Oh, Luke!
12:36Have I done anything to make you feel underconfident?
12:40Well, it's a bit late now, Mary.
12:41Oh.
12:42Er, you might have asked that question 60 years ago.
12:50Oh, no, it's another task.
12:52We've crafted a series of prompts for you to answer.
12:56Oh, God.
12:59The most shocking thing I did after a break-up was get in the car
13:02with my friends and drive past his house multiple times
13:05during the night-time to make sure he was home.
13:07What the hell?
13:09Oh, I've been there, done that.
13:11That's normal.
13:11That's not weird.
13:13I would probably do that as well.
13:14Yeah, I think that's OK.
13:15But in this sense, I'm going to say, oh, dear me.
13:20And if his car was there, it meant that he was home.
13:23So, night made.
13:26Oh, my God.
13:28The red flags are...
13:31..waving wildly at him.
13:41Right.
13:45What do you even say to that?
13:47What do you say to that?
13:48What the hell?
13:49Luke has decided that he might need some space.
13:53I'm not surprised, but...
13:56Run, Luke!
13:57Run!
13:58You see, me and Paige, we were not like this at the beginning,
14:02but we're similar.
14:03You know, Paige moved up north to go to uni.
14:05Mm.
14:05Early doors, you know, within three months of us being together.
14:08Mm.
14:09Didn't like it and then went back down south.
14:11Mm.
14:11The only problem was that while the absence makes the heart grow fonder,
14:14it cost me a fucking fortune in diesel, too, I wouldn't see it.
14:18But you won't hear your moaning about it.
14:19No!
14:20Never mention it.
14:23Never see that money again.
14:25But it's worth it.
14:26I've got my children now, haven't I?
14:28And your wife.
14:29I'm the wife, obviously.
14:38In Blackpool...
14:39Paige and Eva went out to dancing this morning.
14:42Yeah.
14:42And I was having a chat with Jimmy, cos it's Mother's Day, isn't it, tomorrow?
14:45Oh, yes, it is.
14:46Have you got her a card for the kids?
14:48No.
14:49I thought you were picking me one up.
14:50Oh, I've picked you a card for our mum.
14:52Pete and his little sister, Sophie.
14:55Fucking hell.
14:56You leave me in the shit, you, sometimes.
15:00Listen, in case you haven't noticed, I don't have a wife and kids.
15:04It's not my remit.
15:06No, but you have a brother who's shite with stuff like this.
15:10But I've sorted out for our mum and nan.
15:13Yeah.
15:13But also sorted out for my children's mum.
15:17This week, we were game for a laugh again on Prime Video.
15:21Ellie, last one laughing.
15:23New series, new comedians.
15:27The time I laugh most heartily is at...
15:33Come on, what do I laugh most heartily at?
15:36My own jokes.
15:37Oh, yes, your own jokes or if someone else repeats your own joke
15:42and then you interrupt them.
15:43Yes, you do.
15:45For the next six hours, ten comedians will be locked in here,
15:48trying to make each other laugh whilst trying not to laugh themselves.
15:52I know for a fact I'd be hopeless at something like this.
15:54I would too, yeah.
15:55You know?
15:55I'd be first out.
15:57Actually, we might be all right at this game
15:59because we would just have such bad verbal diarrhoea
16:02that no-one could say anything to us.
16:04That's true.
16:05Just don't let anyone else speak.
16:06Just talk at them.
16:07Constant dribble.
16:08Barrage.
16:09We're going to love this, Roisin.
16:11The defending champion is going back in.
16:13It's Bob Mortimer.
16:14Oh, you idiot.
16:15Use your favourite, love.
16:17Nobody stands a chance with Bob Mortimer.
16:20Oh, no!
16:21Oh, no!
16:23Oh, no!
16:23No!
16:24What?
16:24Look at you.
16:25Grummas.
16:26Oh, God, I got no chance here.
16:28Bob, as our reigning champion,
16:29do you have any tips for your fellow players?
16:31Yeah, get a safety face.
16:32A safety face?
16:34A safety face!
16:35A safety face!
16:36A safety face!
16:36A safety face.
16:37What's your face?
16:37I'm going to go...
16:38Oh, no!
16:42Somebody said,
16:43I've got a resting bitch face
16:44and I don't know what they're on about.
16:45Yeah, I do.
16:46Right, time to start the game.
16:48Last one laughing wins.
16:51Oh!
16:51Oh, no!
16:53Right, we're in.
16:54Nobody laugh.
16:56Oh, no, no, no, look, no.
16:57See, I would be out already.
16:59Get out!
17:01Can I join you, Ron?
17:03May I?
17:03Oh!
17:04Jesse, no!
17:06I'd go like that.
17:07No.
17:09Get away.
17:10Yes, you may.
17:11You're not sure, are you?
17:12Well, it's just cos you were a dangerous bloke,
17:16do you know what I mean?
17:16I'd say go sit with somebody else first.
17:18Fuck off, Bob.
17:19I once woke up and there was a shit on me windowsill.
17:28Oh, see, toilet humour just makes me laugh.
17:31Yeah.
17:31That'd be me gone.
17:32Proper.
17:33Like a human shirt?
17:34Yeah.
17:35Well, I think it'd come from me.
17:38What do you say to that?
17:43OK.
17:44Oh, Ramesh is in trouble.
17:46Is he going to get Ramesh now?
17:49Oh, he got himself.
17:52Well, that was horrible, Bob.
17:56Fair of him nearly gone.
17:57Bob have had to move away, mate.
17:59Yeah.
17:59Cos I think Bob is on the verge of going a bit dead.
18:02What's your favourite bank that you don't have an account with?
18:05Santander.
18:06Cos of the bollocks?
18:08Cos of Ant & Dec.
18:09Oh, look, he's going for Bob.
18:10Don't get caught up in Bob Multimer.
18:14Have you met them much?
18:15I've lifted up Ant & Dec.
18:17He's a stupid twat, isn't he?
18:19Really?
18:19Yeah.
18:20When they were going through their fellow years?
18:22No, physically...
18:23Oh, OK.
18:23...lifted them.
18:27He's not talking about lifting little people.
18:31Can I lift you?
18:32You can give it a go.
18:35I mean, that would be surreal, isn't it?
18:36Yeah, yeah.
18:36Seeing someone just lift up Bob Multimer.
18:41Oh, it did.
18:50Alan!
18:51He's going.
18:52He's going.
18:53Was Alan laughing?
18:54He was smiling.
18:55Jim!
18:56OK, that was definitely a laugh.
18:59Oh, what does that mean?
19:00Someone laughed.
19:01Who laughed?
19:02Who was it?
19:02Is that Alan?
19:03Was it Bob?
19:04Did Bob laugh when Sam picked him up?
19:06Let's have a look at the replay.
19:08Let's have a look.
19:09Who is it?
19:10You can give it a go.
19:12Whoa!
19:12Oh, Sam!
19:14Oh, it's him!
19:15Oh, it's Bob!
19:16Oh!
19:17Oh!
19:19Oh!
19:19He's got him!
19:20He got him!
19:21Do you remember that time when we got on, when we was in Egypt on that cruise?
19:24I can't because I can't even look at you now when you're talking about it.
19:27I just didn't look at you that night.
19:30And we had to get...
19:31It was daytime, wasn't it?
19:32Daytime.
19:33Yeah.
19:33And we had to get on.
19:34We was getting on that felucca.
19:35Yeah.
19:35In Egypt.
19:36And this woman got on with the sunglasses and her headscarf.
19:40And she, like, slipped.
19:42And the wig fell off.
19:44And landed in the Nile.
19:46Floated down the Nile.
19:47And I knew I just turned away because I thought, I can't, I can't look at you.
19:53Because it's people, you laugh at people's downfalls.
19:57I did, eh, but there's other friggin' wigs lying down the river.
20:04In North London.
20:06Amira, I have to show you this.
20:08Is that your head outfit?
20:09But I'm not feeling it, so I need to get your opinion on it.
20:12Let's see, let's see.
20:13Sisters Amira and Armani.
20:15What the hell is that?
20:19I can't...
20:21Oh, my God.
20:22It looks like you walked into a rainforest and they bedazzled you.
20:26I don't even know what to make of it.
20:28It's not it.
20:28It's actually not it.
20:29It's not it.
20:30It looks cheap as well, Armani.
20:32How much was it?
20:33Like, a pound?
20:35How much was it?
20:36This was...
20:37I think I spent £80 on it.
20:40£80?!
20:41It comes...
20:41Cos it comes with a dress to go underneath.
20:44And it comes with a headscarf as well.
20:46So it's a three-piece set.
20:47Oh, wow.
20:48The whole shebang, yeah?
20:50This week, it was a true story turned into a movie that had us gripped on Netflix.
20:55I can't wait for this.
20:56I swear.
20:57I know you do.
20:58No!
20:59You're always...
20:59The film, I swear.
21:01You see, I've seen documentaries with John Davidson in.
21:03We like him, don't we?
21:05Yeah.
21:05He's a very interesting man.
21:06It must be quite difficult living with Tourette's.
21:10Yeah.
21:15Edinburgh, we've been there, Julie.
21:16I was gonna say about that Scotland.
21:18Who's?
21:18He's Scottish, John.
21:20I can't do it, Dolly.
21:21Can we not just pick up another time?
21:22We could deliver it to my house.
21:23John, it's an MBE, not a pizza.
21:26Oh my God, that MBE.
21:28Always getting an award.
21:29Always be getting off the Queen or somebody like that.
21:32John!
21:33I'll embarrass myself, Dolly.
21:34I'll see something regret.
21:34He's trying to leave.
21:36He doesn't trust himself to not say anything or be embarrassed.
21:43Oh, it's the Queen!
21:45Oh, no!
21:49Oh, look, you can see the ticks come in.
21:51I mean, that would be stressful and daunting for anyone walking in there,
21:54let alone if you've got Tourette's.
21:55Tourette's, exactly.
21:59Fuck the Queen!
22:01Ooh!
22:01Oh!
22:02Oh!
22:03Oh, my God!
22:06Oh, my...
22:06Oh, bless him.
22:08Oh, he didn't mean it.
22:09He didn't mean it.
22:09He can't help it.
22:14No!
22:15No, that is one way to make an entrance, isn't it?
22:17Am I allowed to laugh at this, Simon, or is that disrespectful?
22:22There are times it is genuinely funny.
22:24OK.
22:24You can tell there's other times where it's really quite distressing,
22:27so we try and navigate, but, yeah, sometimes it's genuinely funny.
22:34Hey!
22:35Oh, have we gone back in time, then?
22:37Well, it must be when he's younger, isn't he, growing up?
22:39Yeah.
22:39Remain me to get some oxy cubes as well, John.
22:41Is that for a stew?
22:42A stew!
22:43Stop it.
22:44How's she telling him to stop it as well?
22:46That's what I'm saying.
22:47You know, back then, it's like...
22:48It was a lack of understanding.
22:49It was a very, very strong lack of understanding.
22:52Johnny D!
22:54Jesus!
22:55How you doing, Pa?
22:56Oh, here's his mate, Murray.
22:58Oh, look at him. They're pleased to see each other.
23:00Fancy a wee drink or something, John? Have a wee catch-up?
23:02No, he can't drink, Murray. He's on medication.
23:05Yeah, we can go for a coke or something.
23:07We could maybe just go for a walk or something.
23:09A wank.
23:09Yeah, that'd be good.
23:11No, we aren't going for one of them, John.
23:14Might have seen each other for a while.
23:15He's like...
23:16Enough!
23:17Good way to catch up.
23:18See, when we get in there, John, can you just relax and don't do anything weird, please?
23:22I won't.
23:22Oh, the boys are on the town.
23:24How's this going to go?
23:25First night out?
23:26Oh, it goes one way or another, doesn't it?
23:28Yeah, yeah.
23:30Would you like me?
23:31I love it, man.
23:31I can feel that bass in my chest.
23:33Come on, it's good.
23:34I'll go get us a drink, you get us a seat.
23:36No worries.
23:36This is perfect place for him, though, isn't it?
23:38Because it's quite loud.
23:39I want to hear it, yeah.
23:43Oh.
23:44John's vibe's enough.
23:46Can I buy you a drink?
23:47Ah!
23:48Can I buy you a drink?
23:49Ah!
23:50He's a smooth operator.
23:51Oh, my son.
23:52Tell you what, he's not backwards and coming forwards, is he?
23:55He's been there, wasn't he?
23:59Oh, she's feeling him.
24:01Someone's getting the eye.
24:02Giving the eye, yes.
24:07Oh!
24:07Oh, dear.
24:08That was a tick, that was a tick, right?
24:12Oh!
24:13Oh, no.
24:14Oh, God, fisticuffs now.
24:16Oh, that wasn't John's fault.
24:21That must be difficult.
24:22Oh, he can't control it.
24:23That kid doesn't know it, Lee, does he?
24:25No.
24:25He doesn't know he thinks he's picked a fight.
24:27Yeah.
24:28A bit later, Murray's mum had lined up an interview for John.
24:32Tommy at the community centre's looking for an assistant.
24:35They're interviewing next week.
24:36He needs somebody to believe in him.
24:38She believes in him, don't she?
24:39For a job as a caretaker.
24:42How are you, John?
24:42All right.
24:43Nice to be here.
24:43How are you doing?
24:44OK?
24:44Good.
24:44I thought he's told me a lot about you.
24:46Good.
24:46Right.
24:47Oh, dear.
24:48Oh, dear.
24:49John!
24:50Right on his face as well.
24:52Hi.
24:52Irene, did you get that note about the blue roll?
24:54Yeah, no worries.
24:55Yeah, anyway.
24:57He's just not taking notice of what he's doing.
24:59So the caretaker knows he's got...
25:00Yeah, he knows he's got to rest.
25:02Yeah.
25:02But he's not making it an issue.
25:04No.
25:05Is he?
25:06I'll give you a rundown of the place.
25:07Give me a cork in my hand.
25:11Of all the things they say, what the hell?
25:14I'd be like, what?
25:15Pardon?
25:16I mean, we all think it, but we don't say it.
25:19So, now we get to the most important part of the interview, John.
25:23Bum sex.
25:26Oh, man.
25:27The thing is, you don't know whether it's funny, but you feel bad for laughing because you know he doesn't
25:32mean it.
25:33But I'm not laughing at him.
25:36And that is, can you make a decent cup of tea?
25:40He's a good guy, isn't he, Tommy?
25:42He is.
25:42He's just taking no offence from it at all.
25:46There you go, Tommy.
25:48Oh, no!
25:49Oh!
25:50Did he just spit in his brew?
25:52I'm really sorry.
25:54I'll take that one.
25:55Aye.
25:56Aye, that's a good idea.
25:56Yeah.
25:57Good idea, yeah.
25:58Yeah.
25:59I don't think this interview is going very well, do you?
26:01It's not, is it, really?
26:02Bless him.
26:02Are you OK with the tics and the swearing?
26:07What tics?
26:07What's it about?
26:09Oh.
26:12Aww.
26:13Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
26:14Aww.
26:15That's Tommy.
26:16Aww.
26:17How are you doing?
26:19Oh, no, don't.
26:21I'm going to cry.
26:22Oh, I literally love this man.
26:24See, I spend half my life training people to react like Tommy.
26:30Because half the people don't.
26:31They can't.
26:32They don't know what to do.
26:33Tommy's just got it.
26:44I've succumbed, Simon.
26:47To a water bottle.
26:49Simon and his sister Jane.
26:52How many of those do you get through a day?
26:54Well, I'm just aiming for one at the moment.
26:56OK.
26:57So that would be a litre of water.
27:00Oh, that's definitely good.
27:01Isn't it?
27:01I always say two a day, don't they?
27:03What?
27:03Two litres a day?
27:04Something like that.
27:06OK.
27:06I'm going to see what effect it has on my having to stop and do a wee all the time.
27:10Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:11But I feel it's a positive thing.
27:20Right.
27:21I'm right in with the in crowd, Simon.
27:23It's like sitting next to an athlete.
27:26They're Olympic games.
27:28On Friday, there were more things to think about over breakfast on the BBC.
27:40That's what it actually sounds like.
27:42That's what it sounds like.
27:43Around half of us now choose restaurants based on social media recommendations.
27:48All the time.
27:49Yeah.
27:50How else are we choosing restaurants?
27:52If I haven't seen it on TikTok, I'm not going.
27:54No.
27:55So-called content creators might be replacing traditional food critics.
27:59I've never ever paid attention to traditional food critics, so I'm all for the influencers
28:05because I'm all over social medias.
28:07If you're lucky enough to go out for a restaurant meal these days, chances are you've seen diners
28:11sort of snapping pics of their dishes before they tuck in.
28:14I can be guilty of that.
28:16If I see a big, if I've ordered a big whopping burger and it comes out, I'm taking a picture
28:21of it so I can send it to everyone saying, look at this beast I've just took on.
28:25Hands up.
28:26I am guilty of this.
28:27I'm always looking at food blogs.
28:30I can't help it.
28:32I like to look at the food.
28:33I like to look at them eating it.
28:35I like, I like, I like it.
28:37I like food.
28:38Well research suggests almost half of us now pick where we dine out based on posts we've
28:43seen on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube.
28:45Oh this doesn't affect me, Nutty.
28:46Nor me.
28:47So this must be young people.
28:50And a whopping 85% of hospitality venues say they've got more people coming through the
28:55doors thanks to so-called content creators.
28:58Well that's surely a good thing.
29:00If it gets more footfall and more covers, Mary, look, covers, then I think it's good for them.
29:08Imagine if someone in the restaurant you were at started setting up all of this equipment.
29:16Fucking ring light?
29:17Surely not.
29:18My friends do that whenever we go out.
29:19They get out the light and everything.
29:21I'm like, guys I just want to eat.
29:22Seriously?
29:23Yeah.
29:24I'm going to go next level when I go to next restaurant.
29:27I'm going to stand on the table and like, take your fingers like this.
29:31It's the dining debate dividing catering bosses.
29:34In the red corner, famously fiery celeb chef Gordon Ramsay.
29:38They're very powerful and they don't take six weeks to fill a restaurant.
29:44Gordon did an influencer evening, I think, in his new restaurant in the sky.
29:48But that's what it should be.
29:49Yeah.
29:49Get the influencers out of the way early doors so then they're not ruining our experiences.
29:53But not everyone agrees.
29:56Legendary restaurateur and co-founder of the Ivy, Jeremy King.
30:00Oh, look at him.
30:01Oh, isn't he splendid now.
30:03Oh.
30:03Oh.
30:05You've been to the Ivy, haven't you?
30:06I have.
30:06It was lovely.
30:07I've even had one influencer couple turn up and get outraged that they couldn't just
30:14set up a tripod and start taking shots.
30:17Yeah, but it's not a studio.
30:18It's a restaurant, isn't it?
30:19And in the Ivy as well.
30:20And when I went in, it was lovely.
30:22Oh, all right, Jenny.
30:23You said, all right.
30:24That's why she said you've been to the Ivy.
30:26It ran full and it was lovely.
30:28All right.
30:28We know you've been to the Ivy.
30:30The Ambience.
30:30Oh, all right.
30:31And the Ivy.
30:38I went to Margaret's last night and when I got there, she said she's been death cleaning.
30:45She's been prepping for death for a long time as Margaret.
30:48This isn't Margaret's first death clean.
30:51Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
30:53A food mixer.
30:55She's binned that.
30:56She gave me a full bottle of unopened baileys that she got for her birthday.
31:01And I got this bowl and a glass plate.
31:07I don't know why it's wrapped in a hood.
31:08Why is it wrapped in a hood?
31:09I've no idea.
31:11It's wrapped in a hood.
31:12And then she's texted me as well, another glass plate and a quiche dish.
31:19She said, ask me if I want them.
31:21But she did have a glass cake stand that she wouldn't part with.
31:24Oh!
31:25And Barry were having a go at it.
31:26I want the glass cake stand.
31:27He was saying, let her have it, let her have it.
31:29You never use it.
31:30And she was going, no, too many memories, too many memories.
31:33On Tuesday night, our favourite mountain-based game show continued on ITV.
31:39Ellie, summit, final.
31:41Oh, here we are, Cheryl.
31:43After a long wait, eh?
31:45I know, there's only four left.
31:46The finals of the summit.
31:47I can't wait.
31:49Who will reach the summit?
31:54What do you think is the point of a programme like this?
31:58Don't think about it too hard, Natty.
32:00OK.
32:02Oh, my God!
32:04Look how big that crevasse is!
32:06Oh, shit.
32:08No.
32:09Oh, I wouldn't fancy that.
32:10Oh, look at that.
32:11How would you get across there?
32:13This deep ice crevasse stands between you and the summit.
32:18And that's the way they're going across.
32:19Oh, my God!
32:21What, with that old ladder?
32:22No, thank you.
32:23No.
32:25Next up is Drew.
32:27Come on, Drew.
32:28Oh, is this the chap who's got a missing limb, the amputee?
32:30Yeah.
32:31I've had really good balance throughout my life,
32:33because I've had to adapt and overcome.
32:36I don't know if you've heard it.
32:38I've had really good balance in my life!
32:44Yo!
32:45Yes!
32:46Didn't make any fuss about that.
32:47He just went for it, didn't he?
32:49Oh, he did it very quickly.
32:51Well done.
32:51Well done.
32:52Yes.
32:53With Drew having made it look easy,
32:55the pressure is on for Dockers, who is last to cross.
32:58I wouldn't have a problem if Dockers fell.
33:00You're not a fan, then?
33:01No.
33:01No.
33:02Were Dockers the knobhead?
33:03Dockers was the knobhead.
33:04How's the knobhead got so far?
33:06He's come in and out of being a knobhead.
33:08He's been on a bit of a journey.
33:09It's an easy little ladder.
33:11You've only got to put one foot in front of the other.
33:13Look at him.
33:14He's full of BS, this guy.
33:17Come on, Dockers!
33:18Yes, Dockers!
33:20Whoa!
33:22Look, he's like...
33:25But unfortunately for Dockers, the mountain's keeper has arrived.
33:29Oh, shit.
33:30Oh, here we go.
33:32The keeper's coming.
33:33Oh, here comes the old helicopter's coming.
33:34The mountain's keeper.
33:35He'll shed a brick now.
33:36And he'll fly right by him.
33:38Oh, no.
33:42Oh!
33:44That's awful.
33:46That's a bit mean, isn't it?
33:47Yes.
33:47I ain't got a balance.
33:50Oh, shit!
33:51Oh!
33:53Oh, there he goes.
33:54There he goes.
33:59He's gone!
34:00He's gone!
34:01He's gone!
34:03Dockers!
34:06Help!
34:07Help!
34:10What's happening?
34:12Dockers!
34:12Nobody's running over to have a look and see how he is.
34:14They're really not that bothered, are they?
34:17Fucking hell!
34:18Oh, he's dandling!
34:19He's really mugged himself off doing that, hasn't he?
34:22Shut up!
34:23That's brutal.
34:24Oh, he's coming back up!
34:26You'll take your hat off, Trim.
34:27Yeah.
34:27You won't give up.
34:28Well, he's still got to get across, mate.
34:30I'm glad he's done.
34:30Yes, Dockers!
34:32Oh, he's running for it.
34:33He's running!
34:34He's not hanging about!
34:37He's gonna do it now.
34:39He's gonna do it!
34:40He's gonna do it!
34:40He's there!
34:41Boo!
34:43Woo!
34:44Well done, mate!
34:46Well done, mate.
34:47Well done, mate.
34:47Well done, mate.
34:48I don't know anybody I know who would like to do that.
34:51Do you?
34:52Is there anybody who'd like to do that?
34:55My brother.
34:56Apart from your brother, yes.
34:57Well, he'd been up Everest, hasn't he?
35:07In Blackpool.
35:08Oh, Colin, right?
35:09He goes for his haircut round the corner from our house, doesn't he?
35:12Apparently, what's happened is, she's got, like, this low-level treat tray.
35:16Anyway, oh, Colin's had one of the treats, only it's three for a fiver.
35:20I'm like, well, we've not authorised the treat.
35:24Pete and his little sister, Sophie.
35:26But Paige is non-confrontational, you see, so she went, oh, right, well, we'll pick
35:31another two, then.
35:32I'll have a tally's worth.
35:34So she's then, that's how we've ended up with a cow's ear in my bed.
35:38Oh, well, it wouldn't be, but it's 42 quid to get his hair cut anyway.
35:4242 quid?
35:43I'm sure it is.
35:44That's with a hot foam shampoo and a turtle waxes out.
35:49This week, we were down with the kids again for the big return of Borders on the BBC.
35:55I went to Borders when I was six years old.
35:57That's how much your mother dislikes you.
35:58Yeah, exactly.
35:59I mean, it was cruel.
36:00Have you considered Borders school for Jimmy and Eva?
36:03Erm, while they do do my head in and it would be nice to get rid of them sometimes,
36:08it would not be financially viable for me to do that.
36:16It's a bit creepy, isn't it?
36:19Oh, what's this?
36:20What's happening here?
36:21Someone's breaking in.
36:22The hen house.
36:24Is that a pig?
36:25Is empty.
36:26What?
36:27The hen house is empty.
36:32Oh, my God, it's a gang.
36:34Gang of pigs.
36:36Oh, bloody hell.
36:40What are they doing?
36:42This is sacrilegious.
36:47Oh, they're all right, they're all right, aren't they?
36:51What's them?
36:53Pinks!
36:54What the hell?
36:54I'm Muslim's worst nightmare.
37:01What are we at?
37:05I'm dancing.
37:06I mean, the best that ever happened at my school was a very, very rich kid managed
37:12to get a helicopter, pay for it, and they put the headmaster's car on top of the chapel.
37:19Fucking hell, that's quite good.
37:20That's quite good.
37:21The headmaster came out in the morning, where's my car, and it was on top of the chapel.
37:26Oh, my God.
37:30Oh, my God.
37:30Oh, my God.
37:31Oh, my God.
37:31I just said jizz bits.
37:34What the?
37:35Actual fuck.
37:36Yeah, what happened?
37:38A break-in.
37:39A break-in.
37:40A break-in.
37:40He's got in.
37:41They're on the ball, aren't they?
37:42Everyone's saying it was an inside job.
37:44An inside job?
37:45What, really?
37:46Inside job.
37:47Well, they had keys to open it, didn't they?
37:49Oh, look at this.
37:52Poshwankers!
37:53I wonder if they've pinned the pigs from the farm?
37:56What farm?
37:57Just any farm.
37:59I feel sorry for the pigs.
38:00Is this real?
38:01No abs.
38:02A bit later, with St Gilbert's on lockdown, we saw Toby hatching a plan to break out and
38:08see his girlfriend.
38:13What, are you the boogeyman?
38:14Oh, what now?
38:15How are we breaking out?
38:16Oh, she was in Corrie.
38:18I know you figured out a way to sneak out half the hours to visit Abby.
38:21She was married to Tyrone!
38:24Okay, well, you heard Carol.
38:26We're in lockdown.
38:27Hmm.
38:28Gotta stick to the rules.
38:30Hey.
38:31We...
38:32Give me that back.
38:32What is that?
38:33Oh, what's in the parcel?
38:35What's the bolt cutters for?
38:38We got bolt cutters for, is he really looking to sneak out, for real?
38:41Or in the fence?
38:42I feel like I'm watching, like, a kid's great escape.
38:44So desperate to break out for anyway.
38:46We want revenge on Caldwell College.
38:48It was them who tried to score.
38:51Gosh, she's the right Sherlock, isn't she?
38:53She thinks that it's Caldwell College, I think.
38:55She wants to go out and fuck their sight up.
38:58Yeah.
38:59The sight.
39:06The bolt cutters are out.
39:07It's ten o'clock.
39:08It's time to go.
39:14I love the fact he's got two flashlights.
39:16Two flashlights.
39:16We're pretending to be lightsabers.
39:23Oh, Toby, you're doing a mad tip, didn't it?
39:27Well, well, well.
39:28What are you going to do, Tobes?
39:29He's going.
39:30He wants a shag, Simon.
39:34Studying hard.
39:35That's what I like to see.
39:37You studying hard.
39:38He's doing science, because I remember that book.
39:40Now I know you would have missed that shot.
39:44This is like Romeo and Juliet throwing little stones at the window.
39:47What's the window?
39:49Brick through the window.
39:50Hey, let me in.
39:52Lucky you, I came your way.
39:54What happened to Hi, Hello?
39:57Like...
39:57They ain't got much time, bro.
40:00They're sneaking around.
40:02Hey, Dad is in the next room, and the walls are like paper.
40:05This ain't right.
40:06Would you want to go in the garage, then?
40:13Oh.
40:14You'd at least get on the floor.
40:16Yeah.
40:17Hold on to the bed board so it doesn't squeak.
40:20Come on, kids.
40:22What?
40:25Fuck.
40:26My dad.
40:27Hide.
40:27Hide.
40:28Under the bed.
40:29There you go.
40:34What has Toby found there, though?
40:36He's gone.
40:37You can come out.
40:41No!
40:43Abby.
40:44The pig masks!
40:46No!
40:48Oh, no.
40:49It was air.
40:51Did you trash my school?
40:53Did you trash my school?
40:54No shit, Sherlock.
40:57About sleeping with the enemy, eh?
40:58Yeah.
40:59Jeez!
41:00They're all bloody sex mad at 16.
41:03When I was 16, me and Becky Fish used to...
41:08she had one of those beds that was for, like, old people that would, like, move up and down.
41:13So we just used to play on that, listening to her black-eyed peas on her iPad.
41:16None of this shit.
41:20In hall.
41:21Do you want a glass of wine, Jenny?
41:22Oh, go on, then.
41:23Yes, I will.
41:24Best friends, Jenny and Lee.
41:26Do you know something?
41:27I was talking to Steve the other day on the phone.
41:29Yeah.
41:30And he was saying to me, he went, what are you drinking?
41:33And I went, oh, it's a glass of wine.
41:37And he went, do you know?
41:38And I went, Stephen, it's Saturday night, I'm having one glass of wine.
41:41Yeah.
41:41Seven o'clock.
41:42You know what I mean?
41:43Yeah.
41:44And you know what he said to me?
41:45He said, do you know alcohol is your enemy, Lee?
41:50Really?
41:51Yeah.
41:51He did.
41:52Do you know what I said to him?
41:54No.
41:54Jesus said, love your enemy.
41:56Did he?
41:56Cheers!
41:59Case closed.
42:01Am I getting a wine tasting?
42:04Where's the wine?
42:05This week, we were off stateside on Prime Video, hoping to get a revealing look into the life of the
42:12First Lady.
42:13You're excited for this, aren't you?
42:14Well, of course I am, because I was one of the four people in England who wanted to go and
42:18see it in the cinema.
42:19When I only think three went, so you would have been the fourth?
42:21Yes.
42:22I would have been, and I very nearly did.
42:27Oh, look at the red Louboutins!
42:30Oh!
42:36Look, she's taking her glasses off.
42:38Oh, it's she beautiful, Lee.
42:39I always wanted to take my sunglasses off like that.
42:48Oh, no, she's on the page, eh?
42:50Good afternoon.
42:51Happy New Year.
42:52Nice to see you.
42:53We don't get this door-to-door service.
42:55How come she hasn't had to be frisked?
42:57We always get frisked at the airport.
43:01Oh, no!
43:03Is that him?
43:05What the fuck?
43:06You can't buy a taste, can you?
43:08Everyone wants to know.
43:10So here it is, 20 days in my life.
43:13Does everybody want to know?
43:14I've never actually heard her voice before.
43:17Yes, you must have done.
43:19I haven't.
43:19Family, business, philanthropy, and becoming First Lady of the United States again.
43:26Oh, all right, love.
43:27All right.
43:28Good help.
43:28Drop the mic.
43:29Yeah.
43:32Melania.
43:34We don't care for her, do we?
43:36We don't care.
43:38She's just there.
43:40I'm ashamed of Michelle Obama, let's be honest.
43:42No, if it was her, I'd be watching it.
43:46I'm still not.
43:47That's true.
43:48The film took us behind the scenes in the lead-up to a big day for Melania's husband.
43:53The inauguration is made up of four days of celebrations.
43:56Four days!
43:57Four days!
43:57They drag it out of time.
43:59Linkinic!
44:00Starting with the candlelight dinner, the night before the swearing-in ceremony.
44:04She had a what? A candlelight dinner?
44:08What?
44:09A candlelit dinner.
44:10It'll be Trump, Mandelson, Epstein, those kind of.
44:14Andrew.
44:15Those sort of people.
44:17Chef Chris's menu begins with a golden egg and caviar.
44:22As one does.
44:23And this is the first horse.
44:27I know what you're thinking, is it chavvy?
44:30No, it's not.
44:31No, and do you know why it's not chavvy?
44:33Because they've got money.
44:34Yes!
44:35Later, after the swearing-in ceremony, the glad rags were on and it was time to party.
44:42All of the official ceremonies are over.
44:44It is time for the inaugural balls.
44:47The inaugural balls.
44:48The inaugural balls.
44:51Oh, crumb a bastard.
44:53He said it.
44:53Yes, you did.
44:54I thought you said Niagara Falls.
44:56The commander-in-chief ball for the military, the Liberty ball and the starlight ball, which will be our last
45:04stop.
45:04It was a full itinerary, innit?
45:06Yeah.
45:13Look at that.
45:15And they say chivalry's dead, innit?
45:17Yeah.
45:17He like chucked her halfway, go fuck off, do the rest of his house.
45:19I've done my bit now.
45:21And it wasn't long before Melania and Donald were back at the White House and ready for bed.
45:26Today was so rich with meaning.
45:28And since each moment was historic and filled with purpose, time no longer mattered.
45:34What the bollocks are you talking about, Melania?
45:37And quite honestly, if it's two o'clock in the morning, you would have taken your shoes off by now.
45:42You see, if you're First Lady, you cannae have a down day when you're just in your jammies watching Law
45:47& Order SVU all day without your teeth in and your bra, can you?
45:50Well, certainly not, no.
45:51I know.
45:52Knowing that I was living a day which would be remembered forever.
45:56Not for the right reasons though, no.
45:59Nah.
45:59I'll be honest with you, I've forgotten it.
46:00Oh, shhh.
46:02I'll see you guys tomorrow.
46:03Good night.
46:04Sweet dreams, Mr. President.
46:06Yeah.
46:06Is Melania not going with you?
46:08Oh, is he going to his own room now?
46:10Obviously.
46:11They don't sleep in the same room.
46:13Night night, Donald.
46:14I actually feel like I know the exact same amount about Melania Trump that I did when I started watching
46:20this.
46:21Which is nothing.
46:22Yeah.
46:23It's Donald Trump's wife.
46:25That's right.
46:25new perfect world
46:29Get through being handcuffed to a total stranger 24-7 and there's 100 grand to be won.
46:35It's streaming now with Jonathan Ross.
46:37And 100 grand's also the prize in an adrenaline-soaked test of skills, strategy, and survival.
46:43The Hunt, Prey vs Predator
46:45It's on Sunday night from 9
46:47Next tonight
46:48This week is on its last legs
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