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00:00Tell me! Tell me!
00:01I told you, Eddie, I don't have Amanda Lamb's home phone number.
00:05Yes, you do, I know you do.
00:07Last time on The Harry Hill Show.
00:12Harry Hill Show!
00:15Hello there, I'm Harry Hill, and this is my show.
00:18It's The Harry Hill Show!
00:21Get off me, Daddy, get off me, I don't like it.
00:23Stop it, Gary. What is it? What is it?
00:25I've told you, Gary, it's an exact celebrity face mould of Chris Martin from Coldplay.
00:32You know, who had hits with Viva La Vida and It's All Gone Yellow and Jim will fix it.
00:38Because you're growing, if I bind it tightly to your face,
00:41your face will grow into the nooks and crannies of Chris Martin's face,
00:45and you'll end up looking like Chris Martin.
00:47I don't like it!
00:48Well, imagine the kudos, Gary, of me walking along the promenade
00:52with my son, who looks just like Chris Martin.
00:55Well, I don't want to do it, Daddy.
00:57Just a minute, that's not the mask of Chris Martin from Coldplay.
01:02That's the celebrity face mould of the so-called King of the North, Andy Burnham.
01:08That was a close shave.
01:13The guest is here, Daddy.
01:15Oh, the guest is here. Well, let's welcome our guest.
01:20Welcome to...
01:22Phil Wang.
01:24It's Phil Wang, everyone. Hello, Phil.
01:25Hi. Hi, everybody.
01:26Lovely to see you.
01:27Good to see you, too, and to meet Gary.
01:29Because your body language is a bit negative.
01:34I just feel exposed.
01:35I don't normally have my forearms exposed on camera.
01:39Well, we had Ed Gamble on, and he's decorated his forearms to avoid that very problem.
01:43That's probably a good idea.
01:44I don't have any hairs on my arms at all.
01:46Why is that?
01:47Do you want to touch?
01:49No.
01:50Look, you're a doctor. Tell me what's going on.
01:52Yeah, it's wonderfully smooth.
01:55It's like a young girl's legs.
01:58So, I believe.
02:00What, um, yeah, what is that, then?
02:04Genetics, or...
02:05I really don't know.
02:06You never sort of, uh, you can't get wigs for arms.
02:10Like an arm merkin?
02:11Yeah.
02:12Probably if you can get anything on the internet these days.
02:14You can try the dark web.
02:17Even Dulcis is still open on the dark web.
02:20Now, Phil, we...
02:22We saw him on TV last night, didn't we, Daddy?
02:24Yes, Gary, we did. We were watching, uh, The World's Most Dangerous Roads.
02:28Yeah. Oh, what an adventure.
02:31Me and Pierre Novelli drove to Lesotho.
02:33Yeah, and it looked like it shouldn't have been allowed to have been made.
02:37It looked so dangerous.
02:39I think that's why they have to take us abroad, where laws don't exist.
02:42Is that right?
02:43Yeah.
02:44It's like how they used to film Takeshi's Castle in Cuba or something, you remember?
02:48Yeah.
02:49They had to film in South America somewhere that didn't have health and safety legislation.
02:52Yeah, it seemed crazy, because, I mean, if you just have a loose cable around here, you get in trouble.
02:57And then you're driving around.
02:58I mean, at one point, you come around a corner, and there's a massive, great sort of comedy boulder in
03:05the middle of the road.
03:06Oh, yeah.
03:07Yeah, and the authorities there had just put a bit of, like, yellow tape around the belly of the boulder.
03:11Yeah.
03:12As if to say, look out.
03:13Yeah.
03:13And it seemed to me, it was, you kind of wanted to cut up to the top of the cliff,
03:18and to see the roadrunner, not the roadrunner, who was it, was after the roadrunner?
03:22The coyote.
03:23The coyote, Whirly coyote.
03:24Yeah.
03:25It felt like an episode of, it really did, it was very cartoony.
03:27Of Roadrunner.
03:28Yeah.
03:28No, that's a real adventure.
03:29Yeah.
03:30But you looked scared at points.
03:31Was that just acting, or?
03:33Yeah, that was, I was giving it a bit of this.
03:38No, it was scary, because you have to drive down this extremely steep winding road to get out of Lesotho
03:45into South Africa, and there's no barriers on it at all.
03:49So, if you go over, you just go, you'll just tumble into South Africa, which is not a great way
03:54to enter South Africa.
03:55No.
03:55No.
03:56And I'm wondering how they even source those roads.
03:59Source them?
04:00Yeah, how do they find, because I was, you know, I was offered, um.
04:02Oh, like how did the research, how did they find out about the dangerous roads?
04:06Maybe they just fly a drone over, and there's one, there's a really windy one on a hill.
04:10Oh, they go to safe roads and pull off the barriers.
04:12Yeah.
04:13They might have to do that in the future.
04:14Yeah.
04:15Yeah.
04:15See if we can get that boulder.
04:17This is on a low loader, and they just delivered these boulders around as, um.
04:22I was offered, uh, it was one in the Andes where you had to, and as I was reading the
04:26description, what's the money, like, because I'd never got as far as that.
04:29It seemed like it was, uh.
04:31I think it was.
04:32Fine.
04:33One day someone is going to get very badly hurt on that.
04:36Yeah, I think all the money is in the insurance.
04:39This, this, when I just said that, then, that is, will become a viral thing when somebody is killed on
04:47that show.
04:47Is that, are you trying to get in early?
04:49Yeah.
04:50Are you hoping that happens?
04:51Yeah.
04:52I'll be the one, they'll say, oh, wait a minute, I think Harry Hill warned.
04:55Let's, can we play that clip now?
04:57Well, as we, as, um, comedy today mourns.
05:02Do you want to run through all the names of people who are coming up?
05:04Yeah.
05:04In case it's one of them, and then you just cut that in.
05:06Yeah.
05:06Has Ed Gamble done it?
05:07Yeah, he has done it, yeah.
05:08Okay, they should never have, I say now that, that they should never allow Ed Gamble, but he wasn't killed.
05:15No, no, his efforts come out, he survived.
05:17It doesn't work.
05:18Yeah.
05:18Okay, we have to keep it general.
05:21And we learned from that show, not to sort of go on about this, but I don't watch a lot
05:25of TV, is that you drive a Yaris hybrid.
05:28That seemed to me the most surprising thing to come out of that.
05:31But it's so fuel efficient.
05:36Are you being sarcastic?
05:37No, are you?
05:43There's no place for sarcasm on this show.
05:47I thought the hybrid thing was a thing of the past now.
05:51Yeah, I think the industry is moving more into full electric, but the hybrid was a sort of halfway house,
05:58I think, between the full petrol car and the full electric car.
06:01And it still has a place in the market.
06:05I'm waiting for everyone to get an electric car before I get one.
06:10What do you drive?
06:11I drive, what do I drive?
06:13I drive a Jaguar, a petrol Jaguar.
06:16Wowee.
06:16Yeah, yeah.
06:17That's wonderful.
06:17Yeah.
06:18Yeah, I still got some of that money left.
06:23Haven't got to sell my house yet.
06:25You couldn't even sell it now.
06:27The market's on its knees.
06:29So, um, and then I saw some photographs of you wrestling at Gamble.
06:35Yes, in Clash of the Comics at the Apollo.
06:37That looked terrifying.
06:39It was quite scary.
06:40Again, something where an injury was perfectly possible, but it was fun, and we had a lot of practice, and
06:45we're both wrestling fans.
06:47Yeah, so I gather, and he's such a wrestling fan that he trained his wife up to wrestle him.
06:51No, I think that was her choice.
06:53She, she's also a wrestling fan.
06:55I don't think he...
06:56I think he's a bit unlikely, a woman wanting to become a wrestler.
07:00I think it's a bit, it's obvious gaslighting.
07:04So, listen, Phil, um, we've got a show mascot, Licky, the show you've probably heard about.
07:10Everyone's talking about Licky, the Harry Hill show mascot.
07:13Uh, Licky, will you, uh, will you come out and say hello to Phil?
07:16Licky?
07:17Oh.
07:19Hello?
07:19Hello?
07:20He's a what?
07:21Just a second, Phil.
07:23I've got to go and get Licky.
07:25Not even given out by the Swiss Army.
07:28Oi, you two, come on.
07:29You're on.
07:33And don't let it happen again.
07:35Licky, Licky, the Harry Hill show mascot.
07:39Gah!
07:40Oh.
07:40Crying out loud.
07:42Crying out loud, Licky.
07:43It's so long.
07:44Stop that.
07:45Stop that.
07:47Ah.
07:49Sorry about that, Phil.
07:52Go on.
07:52To your quarters.
07:55It's a absolute burden, this.
07:57Why is he called Licky?
07:58I don't know.
07:59It's not clear to me.
08:02Um, now, Phil, we, uh, how do you feel about, um, AI?
08:06I think it's going to be neither as bad nor as good, as people say.
08:10Oh, yeah.
08:10Okay, yeah.
08:11So, the worst case scenario would be...
08:14Well, it destroys us all.
08:17Yeah.
08:17That's the worst, but I think that's unlikely.
08:19Yeah.
08:19And I'm not sure how that's supposed to happen.
08:21Uh, yeah, I suppose, I suppose the idea is we build a technological infrastructure that
08:29we then completely entrust to AI, um, and then the AI turns against us and uses the machines
08:38to kill us, whatever machines are in its control.
08:40See, I heard, um, one scenario whereby it, uh, you instruct an AI machine to get some
08:47metal, right, to build something.
08:50And then the AI machine thing, so there's, um, there's iron in blood.
08:57Oh, yeah.
08:58So, it kills everyone to get the iron out of us.
09:01Yeah, okay.
09:02I can see that happening.
09:03Yeah.
09:03Um.
09:04Is that feasible as a doctor?
09:07Uh, how much...
09:08Well, I think things have changed a lot since I was working.
09:13We didn't used to...
09:14I can't remember ever trying to get iron out of someone.
09:19Um.
09:20Now, Phil, sorry to prolong your agony, but we have actually got, uh, an AI bot who works
09:26on the show.
09:27Oh, okay.
09:27Did they hear what we just said?
09:29They will come...
09:30They have heard what you said.
09:31Okay.
09:32And they may have an opinion on it.
09:33Okay.
09:34Sarah, the AI bot.
09:34It stands for, uh, synthetic aromatic, uh, no, not synthetic auth, orthodox, I can't
09:41remember, but, um.
09:43Synthetic automatic?
09:45Automatic robot and helper.
09:47Okay.
09:48Yep.
09:49Nice to meet a proper fan.
09:51Um.
09:52Sarah, are you there?
09:53Would you like to come out and say hello to Phil?
09:55Give us some information.
09:57Sarah?
10:01You took your time.
10:03There she is.
10:05Say hello to Phil.
10:07Oh my good God.
10:08Tis Phil Wang.
10:10Loving your comedy from your head down to your size 3 shoes, and I mean really loving in
10:14the deepest sense.
10:15She's offering you a Twix.
10:17Oh, thanks, Sarah.
10:18My shoes are size 12.
10:20Oh, the stuff.
10:22His chain.
10:23Okay.
10:24All right.
10:24Now, Sarah's going to tell us a little bit.
10:26You like Twixes?
10:26I love Twixes.
10:27Well, that's her first win.
10:31Sarah, are you going to tell us a little bit about Phil?
10:34Here goes.
10:37Philip Nathaniel Wang Singoy is a British-Malaysian stand-up comedian and comedy writer.
10:43Early life, Wang was born in Stoke-on-Trent to an English mother and a Chinese-Malaysian
10:48father of Hakadu descent a few weeks after his birth.
10:51His family returned to the city of Kota Kinabalu in Sabah, Malaysia where his parents had first
10:57met in 1982.
10:59Wang was raised in Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia and educated in Malay, Mandarin, and English.
11:04He later studied at Gerudong International School in Brunei before moving to Bath in
11:09the UK at 16.
11:10Wang completed a four-year engineering degree at King's College, Cambridge, where he also
11:16served as president of the Cambridge Footlights in 2012.
11:20Any of that ring a bell?
11:22My father's a Hainanese, not Hakka.
11:26I'm so sorry.
11:29And I know there's a huge difference.
11:34What was going on here, Phil?
11:37You were in Stoke-on-Trent, they're out to Malaysia, then back to Brunei and Bath.
11:45What was going on?
11:46They're trying to lose you.
11:49Why were you moving around so much?
11:51Were you in the forces?
11:53Were you in the forces?
11:56It wasn't that much.
11:57I was born in Stoke, and three weeks after that, moved back to Malaysia in my
12:01dad's from, Saba.
12:02And then just when I was 14 to 16, did boarding school in Brunei, which is right on Borneo.
12:08It was not far.
12:09It's right next to it.
12:10Oh, okay.
12:11People tend to think Brunei is in the Middle East.
12:14Because it sounds like Dubai, but it is not.
12:15Oh, it's not.
12:16Okay, fine.
12:17And then, so this is my...
12:18And then to Bath.
12:19And then to Bath from 16 onwards.
12:21That's quite a lot.
12:22And then London 2012 to present.
12:25Yeah.
12:26So how was that growing up and moving around so much?
12:29I quite liked it, because it's nice to refresh your environment from time to time, change
12:34it up.
12:35Yeah.
12:35You know, reinvent yourself.
12:36Or you could sort of, yeah, say I'm not going to be quite so, I mean, in my case, sort
12:41of nerdy or...
12:43Yeah.
12:43I'm going to be a bit more...
12:44Well, the issue was I reinvented myself as the same guy every time.
12:48All right.
12:49It's difficult to keep that up, that reinvention thing, isn't it?
12:52Yeah.
12:53Yeah.
12:53I kept thinking it would be different than that.
12:55No.
12:55Still this.
12:56You fall back on old ways.
12:57And then you went to King's College.
13:01Cambridge, yeah.
13:01In Cambridge, yeah.
13:02So that was...
13:03And doing an engineering degree.
13:06I had a friend who did an engineering degree, and I've often wondered, what do you do?
13:13At Cambridge, the first two years are general, so you do everything.
13:16And then you can't...
13:17What do you mean everything?
13:18So electrical, structural, mechanical...
13:22Yeah, well, this is what I'm getting at.
13:23Okay.
13:23So when you say, like, electrical engineering, what's that?
13:27Like, wiring and...
13:28Yeah, designing circuits.
13:29Oh, okay.
13:29And understanding how components behave.
13:33Which is quite practical.
13:34Oh, yeah.
13:34It's all very practical, yeah.
13:35Yeah.
13:35And there are more conceptual modules, like the mathematics ones, but...
13:40Sort of tensile strength and that.
13:42Yeah, that would be structural engineering.
13:44That'd be our materials engineering.
13:46Yeah.
13:47Very interesting.
13:48Yes, I ended up with a mechanical degree, but with a lot of aeronautical and what's called
13:52control systems engineering, which is essentially how you take a system and hold it from one
13:57steady state to a new one.
13:58For example, a thermostat.
14:01Very full answer.
14:02And had you gone thinking, I'm going to get in the footlights?
14:05I did, yeah.
14:06Yes.
14:07Yeah, my mother had gone to Cambridge.
14:09She went to King's College.
14:10It's the second year of women ever to go to King's College.
14:13Yeah.
14:14And she told me about the footlights growing up, and I'm...
14:18She sat you on her knee and said, one day, son, yeah, there is a thing called the footlights.
14:24That's right.
14:25Yeah.
14:26Yeah.
14:26I was interested in that, obviously, when I was growing up, because it was sort of Monty
14:29Python and Peter Cook and Dudley Moore.
14:34But I stood no chance of getting in, unfortunately.
14:36Why?
14:37I don't know.
14:37They just...
14:39In my school, there was like one got sort of hand-picked off to do the Oxbridge thing.
14:45Oh, yeah.
14:45Neil.
14:47You had to kneel?
14:48No, his name was Neil.
14:49Oh, that's it.
14:51His name is Neil.
14:52Like being knighted?
14:53Yeah.
14:54Yeah.
14:54And he went off, actually, and he came back at...
14:56You know who everyone goes off in October, or whatever it was, to this?
15:00And then the next time you see them is when you all come back for Christmas.
15:04Yeah, and they've changed?
15:05Yeah.
15:06How did Neil come back?
15:07He was wearing a cravat.
15:09It's true.
15:10It's true.
15:11And in fact, I never saw him again after that.
15:16So what was your interest in comedy, Phil?
15:19What was it?
15:21Yeah.
15:21I mean, had you done some comedy before that?
15:23I was a goofy, funny kid, and then I went to Chinese school in Malaysia.
15:29Goofy, funny, like the class clown, or goofy, funny, like the sort of sarcastic sort of...
15:34Goofy, funny, like a class clown, funny faces, big actions, you know.
15:39You know how it is.
15:41And then I went to Chinese school.
15:42Well, I never did funny faces.
15:47Big actions, yes.
15:48I always draw the line at funny faces.
15:50At funny faces, okay.
15:52Do one of your funny faces for us.
15:53One of mine.
15:55That's good.
15:56It's good.
15:58It's good.
16:00So then you went to school and you got involved in sort of...
16:04No, I went to Chinese school where I was caned.
16:09Physical or physical punishment, which was still legal in Malaysia in the 90s.
16:13Well, it was when I was growing up in Kent.
16:16Really?
16:17Oh, yeah.
16:17When was that?
16:18That would be...
16:19Caned in Kent?
16:20Hmm?
16:21In Kent?
16:22In Kent?
16:23In Kent?
16:25Caning centers where I went to school.
16:27Well, there's your first mistake.
16:30No, you were caned.
16:32I mean, I wasn't caned because I was a good boy.
16:34Well, so was I.
16:35If I'm getting caned, everyone's getting caned.
16:37You know what I mean?
16:38You know what I mean?
16:39Yeah, exactly.
16:39Yeah.
16:40And there are teachers who would kid you for every...
16:43Give you one strike for every percentage point you got under 80% on a test.
16:46Oh, gosh.
16:47Yeah, that's really cruel.
16:50Well...
16:50Gets results, though.
16:51King's Cambridge.
16:53Yeah, I guess I should thank him, right?
16:57Yeah, on the hands, though, right?
16:59One hand, yeah.
17:00Yeah.
17:01They do this thing.
17:01They pull your hand out and they stroke it so that you'd open up like a flower.
17:05And then...
17:06Wow.
17:06Yeah.
17:07Hmm, gosh.
17:08Yeah.
17:08So then I was less funny then for a couple of years.
17:11And I discovered stand-up on YouTube when I was about 15, 16.
17:15And who were the ones that you'd like to watch then?
17:18Well, the first one that really made an impact was Russell Peters.
17:23Oh, yeah.
17:23An Indian-Canadian stand-up.
17:25Because he was...
17:26I was at international school at the time.
17:28And he was doing jokes about all the different races and cultures.
17:31And so this thing went around the boarding house like wildfire.
17:34Because all the cultures were present.
17:36And so it was really electric.
17:38I loved it.
17:39And I thought, I want to do that.
17:40And I did, eventually.
17:42And you have, yeah.
17:43Sir, anything else to add on...
17:45A friend.
17:47Wang won the 2010 Shortle Student Comedian of the Year Award and...
17:51In 2011.
17:53Comedy Central's Funniest Student Award.
17:56Wang has climbed every rung on the comedy advancement ladder.
17:59Task bastard.
18:00Will I lie to you?
18:01I have got news for you.
18:03And of course Kat's Dun countdown and live at Apollo 13.
18:06His radio for comedy special Wansplaining aired on the air Wans.
18:10I mean Airwaves.
18:12Wang has released two Netflix specials.
18:14Filly, Filly, Wang, Wang in and Wang in there.
18:16Baby, what's the next one?
18:19Wang, bang, thank you, Wang.
18:20Just kidding.
18:23So you've lent into that Wang thing, haven't you?
18:26Yeah, for the meantime, yeah.
18:28What's the new tour called?
18:30I might move away from the Wang titles for the next one.
18:33I won't be taken seriously.
18:35Yeah, yeah.
18:36So just sort of...
18:37I'll be known for my acting.
18:40In the next stand-up tour.
18:44So you've done all these thingies.
18:48Yeah.
18:48Oh, TV shows?
18:49Yeah.
18:50Rungs on the ladders.
18:51Yeah.
18:51Yeah.
18:52And they are very much those, aren't they now?
18:54Merely rungs?
18:56Um, or are they a means to...
18:58Are they an end...
18:59It's hard to say, isn't it?
19:01Yeah.
19:01The internet has sort of turned the whole structure upside down.
19:05Now, it used to be you'd perform live to get on TV.
19:09Now you get on TV to get a clip so people come to see you live.
19:12Yeah, it seems like that.
19:13In the old days, it used to be, you know, you'd do the Cambridge Footlights, Radio 4, BBC 2, Sketch
19:23Show.
19:24BBC 2 Sketch Show?
19:25Yeah.
19:26And then you'd...
19:26Not me, but this is...
19:27On Radio 2?
19:29BBC 2.
19:30Oh, BBC...
19:31Like TV?
19:31It's the other one, yeah.
19:32See, this is how...
19:33There's two of them.
19:33Little expectations.
19:34There's four of them, actually.
19:35And, um, like, you know, a bit like sort of the, you know, Eton, Sandhurst, The Guards.
19:41It used to be a sort of automatic thing.
19:43Progression, yeah.
19:43Yeah, you'd go, like me, you'd go up to the Edinburgh Festival, you'd get some sort of, you know, gong
19:48there.
19:49You'd get writing for radio, then you'd get writing for TV, then you'd be on TV, and then you'd blah,
19:53blah, blah, blah.
19:53And then 20 years, 30 years later, you're here.
19:58What do you make of social media and comedy?
20:00I think it has democratised comedy, but it...
20:05Comedy now favours the extroverted, which is a shame.
20:11Because you have to have that extroversion, put yourself out there now, whereas before, you could find people who are
20:17introverted but comically brilliant.
20:19And I think if it's left to everyone to themselves, put themselves out there, we're going to lose a lot
20:25of introverted voices.
20:26In what way?
20:27What do you mean?
20:28Well...
20:28I don't understand.
20:29So, to put yourself out there, with the regularity that the social media environment demands, you have to be into
20:40yourself enough and confident enough to be always wanting to be out there.
20:44But you have to be...
20:44A lot of comedians are actually quite introverted.
20:46Yeah.
20:46Except for small bursts of exposure.
20:48Yes, I'm actually very shy.
20:50But the thing is that you have to...
20:53You'd have to do that before, when you had to go and put your...
20:55You know, you'd have...
20:56Even more so, you'd have to go to a club and say, can you give me five minutes?
20:59I mean, it's a similar...
21:01Yeah, but it's five minutes, and now it's all day, every day.
21:04Oh, is it?
21:05Well, yes.
21:06You have to go be on it all day, every day.
21:08No, it tells me.
21:08Is it?
21:09Yeah.
21:09Kind of.
21:10Yeah.
21:10Kind of.
21:11I thought you had to do it twice a week or something.
21:13Well, that's what drew me...
21:15Well, I mean, you have to put it out twice a week, but you've got to have that...
21:18You've got to film it.
21:18It could be exposed all the time on the loop, and you've got to want that.
21:23I think there are some very funny people.
21:26Oh, without a doubt.
21:27That you perhaps wouldn't have seen if they'd had to, you know, bang on the door of a club or...
21:32Or a TV channel.
21:34I mean, there are very few outlets for TV now for...
21:37That's right.
21:37...writing or, you know, getting gags on.
21:40I mean, you used to be able to, like, write jokes for, I don't know, Jonathan Ross or one of
21:43those sort of, you know.
21:47But I think that maybe the issue for me slightly is, and I don't really have a big issue, is
21:53that they're very short bits.
21:55You don't like the bare shorts?
21:56No, I don't mind, but, you know, it's easier to do short bits.
22:01I mean, I'm the sort of king of the short bits in a way.
22:03I mean, in some ways, I think a show like TV Burp actually helped to narrow people's attention span,
22:08because it was just bang, bang, bang, very short bits, cut very quickly.
22:12But there were a lot of callbacks, so you had to...
22:14The viewer would have to piece everything together in their mind by the end.
22:18Yeah, well, maybe.
22:21But I think with this internet thing, it might...
22:25You know, if you wanted to do longer stuff, where do you do that, I suppose?
22:29Here, what you're doing.
22:30This is long form, right?
22:32Yeah, I suppose it is, yeah.
22:34So, yeah, you've done it.
22:40We've done it, Phil, we've done it.
22:41Couldn't have done it without you.
22:43You're right.
22:44You're right, actually, now I think about it.
22:47Sarah, have you got one final bit to add about Phil?
22:51Beyond stand-up, Wang has appeared in the film Wonka.
22:55His first book, Sidesplitter, How to Be from Two Worlds at Once,
22:59was published, Darth Wang Bean, on a worldwide comedy tour.
23:03He hosted the British Academy Games Awards.
23:06That's it, you're up to date with Phil Wang,
23:08and I got a Phil Wang that tonight's gonna be a good night.
23:11That tonight's gonna be a good night.
23:13That tonight's gonna be a good, good night.
23:15Woo-hoo.
23:16You can add that one.
23:18I've got a Phil Wang that tonight's gonna...
23:20Oh, she's off.
23:22She's offering you a second Twix.
23:23Unheard of.
23:25Unheard of.
23:27Thank you, Sarah.
23:30Um...
23:31Yeah, you could lean into that, Phil Wang.
23:33I've got a Phil Wang that tonight's gonna be...
23:36I noticed when you were in the film Wonka,
23:39the obvious thing would be to do a play on words on Wonka.
23:42Only put Wang...
23:44I know, yeah, but it's a family film.
23:46But I noticed you haven't done that.
23:50Harry Hill Show!
23:55Feeling vulnerable and tearful when this modern world is getting too much for you,
23:59reach for the...
24:00Swiss Army Taser Stick,
24:03as seen on the Harry Hill Vid Scarf.
24:05I just used that.
24:06Slender wood handle,
24:07embossed with the Swiss Army's seal of approval,
24:09and finished with a powerful battery
24:11that sends nine volts into your enemy's tongue or eye.
24:14Perfect to punish thieves,
24:17rivals,
24:18owls,
24:19well, maybe not owls so much,
24:21and slugs.
24:23Oh man, that hurts.
24:24The Swiss Army Taser Stick.
24:25Buy one and get a free David Gandy cuckoo clock.
24:30Warning,
24:31may cause burns,
24:32bad feelings,
24:33or escalate tension in the Middle East.
24:36Regency Innovations.
24:38Princely Interventions
24:39in an uncaring world.
24:41It's time for our theme of the week.
24:48The Big Bang.
24:51The Big Bang,
24:52and we're joined by Chris Lintot,
24:54who is Professor of Astrophysics
24:56at the Department of Physics
24:57at Oxford University.
24:58Does it get any better than that?
25:00It's a good title, isn't it?
25:01Mmm, congratulations.
25:02Thank you very much.
25:03My mother's very proud.
25:04I bet she is, yeah.
25:05Yeah, imagine how my mum feels.
25:08Yeah, used to be a doctor.
25:10Do you know Phil Wang?
25:12We've never met, but hi.
25:13Nice to see you.
25:14Big fan.
25:14Oh, likewise.
25:15Big fan of physics.
25:16Of physics in general.
25:17Yeah, big science.
25:18Good.
25:19Phil was at Cambridge,
25:21your arch enemy,
25:22and he did engineering.
25:24I did engineering, yeah.
25:25Sorry.
25:26I was there too.
25:27At Cambridge?
25:27Yeah, yeah.
25:28Were you?
25:28Yeah, yeah.
25:28When?
25:2999 to 2003.
25:31Oh!
25:32We overlap.
25:32Oh, I was 2008.
25:33Okay, you're younger.
25:34Good.
25:35All right, this is never going to make the podcast.
25:36Oh, it is.
25:38I would insist that it is.
25:39Yeah, yeah.
25:40Getting to know you.
25:43So, and I imagine there is some overlap
25:45between engineering and...
25:47Yeah, we need engineers.
25:49They do useful things.
25:50But also, I get letters with crazy theories
25:53of the universe.
25:54Oh, wow.
25:54So people who think they've solved everything,
25:55and it's almost always retired engineers.
25:58Really?
25:59Who just think the universe should be simple,
26:00and they've worked it out,
26:01and if only I would listen to them
26:03or read 200 pages of handwritten notes.
26:05Like a unified theory?
26:06That's right.
26:06Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:07It's often involving, you know,
26:08if you take the orbit of Mercury
26:09and divide by the mass of Jupiter,
26:11you get a number that's kind of similar
26:12to the strength of an atomic pull
26:16in a nucleus and so on.
26:18Oh, you've got my letter then.
26:19Yes, yes.
26:20The pictures were lovely, Harry.
26:23Well, there is a certain kind of logic
26:25to it being simple, isn't there?
26:26Yeah, I mean, in some ways,
26:28people would say the universe is simpler
26:29than it should be.
26:30Like, there's no guarantee
26:31that we should live in a universe
26:33that we can understand,
26:34and yet we've got somewhere
26:35in trying to understand it.
26:36But it's got this crazy thing at the start,
26:39which is our theme,
26:40which is this idea that it started
26:42in what we seem to call the Big Bang,
26:44which we don't understand.
26:45Oh, you don't understand?
26:47Well, not the very moment.
26:48If the Big Bang is this moment
26:49at the beginning where everything started,
26:51that's also the place where physics breaks.
26:54So we can go right back
26:55to just after the Big Bang,
26:57and I can tell you sensible things
26:58about the universe,
26:59but that moment of the clock starting,
27:02time equals zero,
27:04there's some,
27:04you can make some stuff up,
27:06you can have some fun thinking
27:07about what physics might be there,
27:08but we basically don't know what happened.
27:10It's impossible to imagine
27:12what that could be before anything.
27:15Yes, and I think you could,
27:16people like me occasionally
27:17make a good living out of pretending
27:19that we know what that is like.
27:21We can stand there and go,
27:22imagine a time before time,
27:24or imagine that the whole universe
27:25was infinitesimally small,
27:27and that sounds like I know
27:29what I'm talking about,
27:29but basically none of those words
27:30mean anything.
27:31What we do know is just after that,
27:33everything was crammed close together,
27:35the universe was very hot and dense,
27:37and it's been expanding ever since.
27:39So the Big Bang theory,
27:40the idea that there's this expansion,
27:42we do understand.
27:43Okay, so you can answer the question.
27:46My first question,
27:47what is the Big Bang?
27:48Yeah, it's this idea
27:49that the universe was in this hot,
27:51dense state and expanded outwards
27:54ever since.
27:54So everything was in one compact?
27:57Pretty close to one place,
27:59one dot, exactly.
28:00A dot even.
28:01Yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:02What I've always wondered is,
28:03and you know how the universe
28:04is still expanding,
28:05everything is still hurtling
28:06away from each other.
28:07Are you able to draw lines?
28:09Do you actually know
28:10where the Big Bang was?
28:12Well, if you try and do that,
28:13it looks like we're at the middle of it,
28:15because everything is expanding
28:16away from us.
28:17So there's a brief moment
28:18where you go,
28:18oh, we must be very important.
28:20We live at the center of the universe.
28:21But you'd get the same answer
28:22wherever you were.
28:24Surely you wouldn't know,
28:25because this is a very good theory.
28:26I'm surprised no one
28:27has actually come up with that yet.
28:29Retired engineer, you see.
28:29What theory?
28:30Retired engineer.
28:30About drawing all the lines?
28:31You just draw lines.
28:32It's just like one of the letters.
28:33It's heading in that direction.
28:35You just draw the lines.
28:37Think of it as...
28:37Bummy.
28:38I thought I was being so smart.
28:39Think of it as stretching, right?
28:41So don't think about the universe.
28:43Don't think,
28:43even though we call it the Big Bang,
28:44don't think of it as an explosion.
28:45Think about it as space stretching.
28:48And so if you stretch space
28:50in every direction,
28:51then everything is getting further away
28:53from everything else.
28:54Hang on, hang on.
28:55I haven't got that.
28:57Well, try...
28:57People sometimes think about this like
28:59if you have...
29:00I'm sure you do this on the week.
29:02If you're baking a nice loaf of raisin bread,
29:04this is a terrible analogy,
29:06but let's imagine that's what you're doing.
29:07When you put it in the oven,
29:09it expands,
29:10the bread expands,
29:10and the raisins get further apart
29:12from each other.
29:13And if you were sitting
29:14on one of those raisins,
29:15you'd see all the other raisins
29:17rushing away from you,
29:18and you'd think
29:19you were the most important raisin.
29:21Or like if you have a big rubber band,
29:22and you have a little dot there,
29:24and you stretch it all,
29:25that dot only moves about that much.
29:26That's right.
29:27I get it.
29:27I get it.
29:28I get it.
29:28And so we can measure
29:29how fast space is stretching,
29:31and it's not...
29:32How fast is it?
29:33So if you take a mega parsec,
29:36which is, what,
29:38about three million light years,
29:39so a lot,
29:40then every kilometers,
29:43yeah, every second,
29:44all of that space
29:45gets 70 kilometers longer.
29:47So it's not very much
29:49compared to millions of light years.
29:51And that's why,
29:52you know,
29:52it's not that the Earth's expanding,
29:53you're not expanding,
29:54I'm not expanding
29:55because of the expansion of space.
29:57But if you take the whole universe,
29:58it becomes this thing
29:59that dominates.
30:00Phil looks like he's going to be sick.
30:03Don't say billion too much.
30:05It's a lot of information,
30:07isn't it?
30:07Yeah, it is.
30:08You see,
30:08the idea that everything
30:09is moving really fast right now,
30:11and that,
30:12are we going to, like,
30:13lose,
30:14are we going to get too far
30:15from each other that,
30:16you know,
30:17we're not held together
30:18by gravity anymore?
30:19Well, we're not.
30:19The universe isn't held together
30:21by gravity.
30:21When people started,
30:22when we saw,
30:23it's about 100 years ago,
30:24people started to realize
30:25that space was expanding.
30:27What they thought
30:27would be happening
30:28was that gravity
30:29would pull everything
30:30back together.
30:31And so you'd have this phase
30:32where the universe expands.
30:33And then it goes back.
30:35It goes backwards,
30:35and then it ends up
30:36in the opposite of a Big Bang,
30:37which is called,
30:38in the papers,
30:39people call it a Big Crunch,
30:40but they also call it,
30:42there's a group of people
30:42who call it the Gnab Nib,
30:44which is Big Bang backwards.
30:46Very good.
30:46Which is very nice.
30:47This is what we expect
30:48from our nerds.
30:49Yes, you get Big Bang,
30:50Gnab Nib,
30:51and then you can cheat,
30:52because then you can just
30:53have it rebound.
30:54And then you have
30:55this nice bouncy universe
30:56which gets you out
30:57of having to explain
30:58how it starts
30:59in the first place.
31:00Now, Chris,
31:00you said we only worked it out
31:02about, when was it?
31:03About 100 years ago.
31:04About 100 years ago.
31:05Because I realized this expansion.
31:05And what was it
31:08that we discovered that?
31:09So it was looking at galaxies.
31:11So we live in a galaxy.
31:12So we live in a galaxy.
31:12We live in the Milky Way
31:13with billions of stars.
31:14And we realized,
31:16about 100 years ago this year,
31:17that there were other galaxies.
31:18So the universe is speckled
31:20with these things.
31:21And then they worked out
31:22that they were moving away from us.
31:23And the further away they were,
31:25the faster they were moving away from us.
31:27So that's this stretching effect
31:29produces this.
31:30And then the thing
31:31that really sealed it
31:31was in the 60s,
31:32when they discovered
31:34that there's this faint light
31:35that fills the universe
31:37called the microwave background.
31:38It was discovered by people
31:40who were trying to work out
31:42how to communicate with radio
31:43over long distances.
31:45They built this telescope.
31:48They had problems with pigeons
31:50because pigeon poo emits radio waves.
31:52So they had to keep cleaning out
31:53the telescope of pigeon poo.
31:55This is radio waves.
31:56Yeah, yeah.
31:56And if you tune in,
31:58is it pigeon FM?
32:00Yep, exactly.
32:01Maybe they're communicating
32:02with each other.
32:03Only pigeon hits.
32:04Slow down a bit.
32:06Pigeon hits all day long.
32:08Yeah.
32:09Yeah, prune prune.
32:11You know this one, guys.
32:12What is it?
32:13Why does it emit radio waves?
32:15That's a biology question.
32:17So you'd need a different guess for that.
32:18Oh, I'm so sorry.
32:20Is it like radioactivity?
32:22Is it like radioactivity?
32:24I don't know.
32:25They describe it in the paper.
32:27So the people who are looking for this stuff
32:28describe it as the telescope
32:29being coated in a white dielectric substance
32:32which they had to clean.
32:33Do you imagine you've gone to,
32:35actually these were the engineers.
32:36Trafalgar Square.
32:36Yeah, yeah.
32:36But also, you've gone to university,
32:38you've become an engineer,
32:39you work at Bell Labs
32:40on the most cutting-edge radio technology there is.
32:43And what you're actually doing with your time
32:44is scraping away pigeon poo
32:46with a toothbrush from your instrument.
32:48Anyway, when they don't...
32:48That's what I call my autobiographies.
32:52Anyway, they discovered this background light
32:54and that's the echo of the Big Bang.
32:56It's the leftover light from this time
32:58when the universe was hot
32:59and it surrounds us.
33:00If you've got an old telly
33:03with an aerial and things like that
33:05or if you can imagine having such a thing
33:07when you have the static in the telly,
33:095% of that static is from the Big Bang.
33:12It's this leftover radiation.
33:14Amazing.
33:15Detected with a telly.
33:17But not now we've gone digital.
33:18As in the noise on the screen.
33:20Yeah, the black and white.
33:20Yeah.
33:22And so when did it happen, this Big Bang?
33:25So we think the universe is 13.8 billion years ago,
33:30years old.
33:31So 13.8 billion years.
33:33And the solar system's about 5 billion years.
33:36So we came along about two-thirds of the way
33:38through the history of the universe
33:39or the Earth came along then.
33:41Was it loud?
33:42There were sounds.
33:44Well, there were sounds.
33:45There were sounds, yeah.
33:45So because it's hot and dense,
33:47sound waves can travel in space.
33:48So in the first 300,000 years of the universe's history,
33:53you could scream in space.
33:54But was the Big Bang itself a noise?
33:56Oh, I see.
33:57Oh, I see, yeah.
33:59I don't think so.
34:00We don't see...
34:02Trying to answer this.
34:02Because it's not an explosion, he said.
34:04It's not an explosion.
34:05It's just this, yeah.
34:06It's just a sudden...
34:07It's there.
34:08Expansion.
34:09Yeah.
34:09But it's interesting you say that
34:10because you could hear sound
34:12because it was dense enough for sound to travel.
34:15Yeah, and this microwave background light,
34:17we see the imprint of those sound waves.
34:19So those sound waves produce the structure we see today.
34:22So we're sort of leftover echoes of the Big Bang.
34:26Fascinating.
34:27Will it happen again?
34:28No, of course...
34:29That's a good question.
34:30No, we don't know.
34:31I like, don't know,
34:32but the universe is expanding.
34:35It's actually speeding up,
34:36which is confusing.
34:37We don't understand why it's speeding up.
34:38And so people have said
34:39maybe in the far future
34:40it would bud off new universes.
34:42So each universe produces more Big Bangs.
34:45So maybe it's not a stupid question.
34:47Like a tear-away sharing loaf.
34:48Yeah, that's right.
34:49Yeah, yeah, yeah.
34:50But expanding with raisins.
34:52Yeah, yeah, nice.
34:53The raisins are important.
34:54So yeah, the tear-away sharing loaf model of the universe.
34:58As opposed to a tray bake,
35:00which is very neatly cut.
35:03Yeah, and flatter.
35:04So we can rule that out.
35:05I think we can rule out tray bake universes.
35:07What is the significance of the Big Bang, I suppose?
35:10I mean, it's nice to know this stuff,
35:12but does it have any practical effects?
35:15All of this stuff in the universe
35:17was created in those hot, dense conditions.
35:19So when you look at the sun,
35:20the hydrogen and the helium in the sun
35:22were made in the Big Bang.
35:23All the stuff we're made of was added later.
35:25But also the structure of the universe.
35:28So everything we see around us
35:30was set from that very beginning.
35:32The weird thing is that we got a universe
35:34where interesting things happen.
35:37If you think you could randomly select
35:39any set of rules of physics,
35:41you're going to get a very boring universe
35:43most of the time.
35:44And yet here we are in this one.
35:46Yeah, could that be an argument for...
35:50For somebody up there?
35:51Maybe.
35:52I mean, you could put God at the beginning
35:54if you want.
35:55If God is like that.
35:56Yeah.
35:58Compressing it all.
35:59And then giving up.
36:01It's not just an argument for chaos.
36:05And what's the demo?
36:07Oh, for creating entropy.
36:09Entropy.
36:09Yeah, yeah.
36:09Well, entropy is a problem.
36:10So we'll deal with God, then entropy.
36:12So you could have God at the beginning,
36:13but that feels...
36:14To a physicist, that feels like cheating.
36:17Like, that's the same as me going,
36:19oh, yes, it was created by, I don't know,
36:20Brian.
36:21Brian created the Big Bang.
36:23And there we go.
36:23Very good for Brian.
36:24Yeah, got to be a Brian.
36:26Entropy, yeah.
36:27So there's also the sense...
36:28Also do you out of a job?
36:30Yeah.
36:30Well, there's lots of universe to study afterwards.
36:33It'd be nice to know the beginning
36:34was nailed down, to be honest.
36:36It's a bit upsetting that we don't know.
36:39Literally the first question you asked
36:40if my answer is I don't know,
36:42which isn't very good after the introduction.
36:44But the entropy,
36:45the sense that the universe
36:47devolves into chaos over time.
36:49So one of the things we don't understand
36:51about the Big Bang
36:51is why it set us up
36:52so that stuff could happen.
36:53It could have produced a universe
36:55that was just chaotic from the beginning.
36:56It was just a mess of particles.
36:58Well, it could have done, I suppose.
36:59I mean, it might have been that several,
37:01and this is just the one we know.
37:03Yeah, and then people argue that,
37:05okay, so we're living in this one,
37:07so it's not surprising it's one that produced life.
37:10But, I don't know, again,
37:12it feels like cheating.
37:14You've invented the anthropic principle there.
37:17That's what that's called.
37:18Is that?
37:18Yeah, this idea.
37:19Harry's anthropic principle,
37:21this idea that the universe is the way it is
37:22because we happen to exist in it.
37:25But it still feels like cheating.
37:26What I want is somebody to write down an equation
37:28that will tell me
37:29why the Big Bang had to produce a universe like this
37:32and ideally what happened before it.
37:34Because there could have been a history of the universe
37:37before the Big Bang that we don't understand.
37:39But how can you have a history with no time?
37:42Well, time doesn't have to start in the Big Bang.
37:45Our time started then,
37:46but maybe there was some other,
37:48you know, maybe there was a universe
37:49that collapsed to start our Big Bang,
37:51or maybe we were,
37:52we don't, this is going to blow your mind,
37:54we don't have to be the first bit of sharing life.
37:58Our universe could have been one of the pieces
38:00that's been ripped off.
38:01Yeah, exactly.
38:02And so you've got this time that exists
38:04in the pre-loaf stage.
38:06God damn.
38:08There's a proving universe.
38:09Yes.
38:10Yeah.
38:10Yeah, we're going to have to write paper after this.
38:12I think this is definitely a new theory coming here.
38:15Yeah.
38:15I actually feel like crying.
38:17Really?
38:17In a good way?
38:19What, um,
38:20have you seen the film Interstellar?
38:22I have, yes.
38:22Do you understand that?
38:24Bits of it.
38:24You know what annoys me about Interstellar?
38:26They're going on this journey to a black hole
38:27to save humanity.
38:28And there's the,
38:29it's got one of the great training montages
38:32of all time.
38:33There's like 10 minutes of film time
38:35of them like driving through cornfields
38:37and doing weights and arguing.
38:39And then they get into space
38:40and then one of them goes,
38:41so what is a black hole?
38:43And you just think,
38:44surely that's day one of training
38:46if you're going on a black hole.
38:47I think that was for us,
38:48really, wasn't it?
38:49For the viewers.
38:51When you watch a sci-fi movie
38:52as a physicist,
38:53is it entertaining or annoying?
38:56I like it as long as they don't explain the science.
38:58Okay.
38:59So, you know,
38:59there's Danny Boyle's Sunshine, right?
39:01Where they're like,
39:02the sun is turning off
39:03and we have to launch a bomb to fix it.
39:05I'm like, great, got it, good.
39:07And then they go,
39:07the bomb is made of dark matter.
39:09And I was like, no, stop it.
39:10Stop saying things.
39:11Yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:11I was happy with the magic bomb.
39:13Yes.
39:13That's fine.
39:14Yeah.
39:14You're always trying to over-explain things, aren't you?
39:16Yeah, yeah.
39:16It's a bit like when we watch films
39:18with comedians in.
39:20Don't you find that?
39:21It's never realistic at all.
39:22I have to turn off every single time.
39:24Never find it.
39:24You mean the drinking,
39:25the arguing?
39:27None of that's real?
39:28The crying.
39:29It's not enough.
39:31So, while we've got you here, Chris,
39:33what should we be looking forward to
39:35in the night sky?
39:36I know you're the co-host of
39:38The Sky at Night
39:39with Maggie Adairn-Pocock.
39:42Yeah, exactly.
39:43Next year is all about asteroids.
39:46So, a few years ago,
39:48we decided as a species
39:50to attack an asteroid called Dimorphos.
39:53We smacked into it
39:54with something the size of a washing machine
39:56to try and deflect it
39:58as a dress rehearsal
39:59for what we'd do
40:00if we saw an asteroid coming towards us.
40:02And we're sending a European probe
40:04called Hera
40:05that gets there next year
40:06to see what crater we left.
40:08So, that'll be quite exciting.
40:09We'll find out
40:10whether we can save the world
40:11if we see an asteroid coming towards us.
40:13And then there's a new telescope.
40:14We've got the Vera Rubin Observatory
40:16that it's got this...
40:19Well, it's a billion-dollar project.
40:20It's got the world's largest camera.
40:22And it's going to scan the whole sky
40:24every three nights
40:24starting in January.
40:25And the images
40:26are going to be spectacular.
40:27So, you're going to see
40:28lots of basically
40:29really cool space pictures
40:30coming from this observatory
40:31we've been working on.
40:32Where is the observatory?
40:33It's in Chile
40:34in the Atacama Desert.
40:35Chile? Oh!
40:35Because it last rained there
40:37in 1923.
40:38What?
40:39So, it's a good place
40:41to put a telescope.
40:42Oh, my gosh.
40:43Imagine if it rains
40:44the first day, is that?
40:45Yeah, yeah, yeah.
40:46That's my kind of luck, actually.
40:49Well, this is fantastic, Chris.
40:51It sounds like
40:51it's a really exciting time
40:52to be an astronomer.
40:53It's fun.
40:54We've got new toys
40:54and the universe keeps expanding.
40:56So, there's more to see.
40:57Fantastic.
40:58Thanks so much.
40:59That was our theme,
41:01The Big Bang,
41:02with our friend Chris Lintot.
41:09It's time to play
41:10Name the Seed.
41:12Name the Seed.
41:17I'm joined
41:18at the Name the Seed podium
41:19by Mr. Phil Wang.
41:20What do you like
41:21at naming, well, seeds?
41:23Phil?
41:24I would say beginner.
41:26Okay.
41:26Do you have a garden?
41:27Yes, I do.
41:28Do you grow things
41:29in the garden?
41:30Do things are in the garden.
41:31I've grown planted grass seeds,
41:33so I probably recognize
41:34some grass seeds.
41:34Okay, good.
41:35Oh, quite a common seed.
41:37Now, you can see here,
41:38this is a sealed Ziploc bag,
41:42but also once housed
41:43a fancy dress.
41:45Oh, Mexican poncho.
41:46For kids, yeah.
41:47But that's not important.
41:49Inside that bag
41:50is this box,
41:52which contains
41:53how many seeds?
41:54It says 8,000.
41:558,000 seeds, roughly.
41:57They know no one's
41:58going to count them.
42:00We've got a sachet here,
42:02a number of different sachets,
42:03you can see that,
42:04containing seeds.
42:05I'm going to take
42:06one of the sachets
42:07at random,
42:08and I'm going to place
42:09the seed
42:09on the seed display
42:15mounting disc.
42:17Oh.
42:18Why is there like
42:19a depression in it?
42:20Why do you think?
42:23Do you get angry
42:25and thumb it?
42:26No, you sweep the seed.
42:27So the seed doesn't roll
42:28about.
42:28Yeah.
42:29Don't look for difficult answers.
42:32We're going to place
42:33the seed in there,
42:34and that seed's going
42:34to rise up to the top,
42:36and it's going to go back down.
42:38During that time,
42:39that's the time
42:39when you decide
42:40to name the seed.
42:41If at any point
42:42you decide you'd like
42:44to change the seed
42:45to a different seed,
42:46you have that option.
42:47What do you mean
42:47rise up?
42:49You're a seed.
42:49Oh, okay.
42:50And so while it rises,
42:51I need to name it?
42:52You've got the time
42:53it takes for it
42:54to rise up,
42:55or to either name the seed
42:56or to say
42:57then change the seed.
42:58Okay.
42:59Can I look at it now?
42:59No.
43:00Ready?
43:02It's time to
43:03name the seed.
43:10What do you see?
43:11It looks like
43:13a tiny pebble.
43:14Right.
43:15It's irregular in shape.
43:16Yeah, yeah.
43:17It's not long.
43:18I don't think
43:19it's grass-y.
43:22But from the packaging,
43:25I'm going to say...
43:27Hang on.
43:27Are you happy with that seed
43:29or do you want to change the seed?
43:32I'll change.
43:32It's changing the seed.
43:40I've got to get this.
43:44Here we go.
43:46Get my finger in there.
43:48You didn't see that, did you?
43:50Was there anything to see?
43:51Not really.
43:53I can see you
43:54putting your finger in the bag.
43:57Let's take that seed.
44:00And...
44:01We'll place the new seed.
44:03Very different-looking seed.
44:04Are you ready to
44:05name the seed?
44:09It's very similar.
44:11What is it?
44:11It's a bit bigger, isn't it?
44:12It's paler in color
44:14and it's irregular in form.
44:15Okay.
44:16I feel like it...
44:17It's not the pebble.
44:17It's not the tiny pebble.
44:18That you saw before.
44:24I mean...
44:25I...
44:26I don't know.
44:27I'm going to say, like...
44:28A wheatgrass.
44:31Are you saying...
44:32Sorry, I shouldn't laugh.
44:33Why?
44:34Why should you...
44:35Oh.
44:36It's not a wheatgrass.
44:38Okay.
44:39It's not a wheatgrass, Phil.
44:41Okay.
44:42Um...
44:44For anyone who wants to know
44:45what the seed is
44:46or doesn't want to know
44:47what the seed is,
44:48look away now
44:48and we'll flash that up
44:49on screen.
44:51Phil, open your hand for me.
44:53There we are.
44:53That's the seed.
44:54I want you to plant that seed
44:55and when it comes up
44:55you'll find out
44:56what that seed is.
44:57That was Name the Seed.
45:00Name the Seed.
45:08Gary's Joke Corner.
45:34As you know,
45:35I'm retiring in 2030
45:38and I'm handing the business
45:39over to my son.
45:40A bit like, you know,
45:40Bradley Walsh is
45:41training up his son,
45:43Bert Diddley Walsh,
45:44to take over.
45:46You know,
45:46he's got him on Gladiators,
45:48co-presenting Gladiators.
45:49So I'm doing a very similar thing
45:51with Gary.
45:51That's right.
45:52But they're very nervous,
45:53aren't they?
45:53He's not a natural comedian
45:54but he does need jokes.
45:55Do you have a joke
45:56that perhaps Gary
45:56might be able to...
45:58Yeah, I got a few jokes.
45:59I am...
46:00My first ever exposure
46:02as a joke writer
46:02was when I was a child.
46:04We subscribed to
46:05a children's magazine
46:06and they invited you
46:07to send in jokes
46:08and I sent a joke in
46:10and it got printed
46:11in the magazine.
46:12It was really exciting
46:12and the joke was,
46:14what does the laughing
46:16sea captain
46:18call his shipmates?
46:22Me laughies.
46:23Me ha-ha-hearties.
46:25They're very good.
46:26Yeah.
46:26Yeah.
46:27See, look,
46:28they're laughing.
46:29Yeah.
46:29I've got more.
46:30Great.
46:32This is when I started
46:33doing stand-up
46:33and I thought
46:34it might be
46:34a one-liner comedian.
46:36So one of them is...
46:39My friend Josh
46:40has a big rectangular slab
46:42of concrete
46:42sticking out of his chest.
46:45What a ledge.
46:46What?
46:46What a ledge.
46:47What a ledge.
46:48What a ledge.
46:48What a ledge.
46:50You like that?
46:50What a ledge.
46:50I love that one.
46:51Yeah.
46:51What a ledge.
46:52Yeah.
46:52That's a good joke.
46:53You think so?
46:54Not an opener,
46:55but...
47:00Yeah.
47:01It's the one-liners
47:01that are tricky,
47:02aren't they?
47:02They are tricky.
47:03Do you want any more?
47:04If you've got one.
47:05Okay.
47:07I don't like grasshoppers.
47:08They're just not crickets.
47:10What do you think?
47:12What do you think?
47:13Yeah.
47:13It's something like that,
47:15isn't it?
47:15It should be...
47:17I said to this grasshopper...
47:19The thing is,
47:20I was playing Monopoly
47:22with the grasshopper.
47:22I was playing Monopoly
47:23with the grasshopper
47:27and it...
47:28Well, I wasn't looking.
47:30He stole some money
47:31out of the bank.
47:32I said,
47:33that's just not cricket.
47:35Yeah.
47:38I've got more.
47:41Hardest job, isn't it?
47:42The one-liners.
47:43This one's a little more modern.
47:45It's more to do with
47:46modern politics and culture.
47:48Great.
47:49That's just my favorite.
47:50Just the sort of angle
47:51I'm looking for.
47:52Okay.
47:52This one is...
47:54I identify as POC.
47:56Phil, of course.
48:00That's good.
48:00You like that?
48:01Yeah, I like that one.
48:01Yeah.
48:02Gary probably can't use that one.
48:03It's just the sort of thing I'm...
48:05Well, I'm not sure I could try.
48:07I've certainly tried to get five...
48:08I think I've got a five-minute spot
48:10coming up at the Tommy Field
48:11in Kennington.
48:12I know they're a soft crowd.
48:15Gary, you've got a joke for us.
48:16Yes, I've got a joke for us.
48:18Don't make that noise, Gary.
48:20Why not?
48:21It'll limit my appeal.
48:23Daddy, daddy, daddy.
48:24My wife...
48:25I mean, cousin, sorry.
48:27My cousin received a prescription
48:29for her yeast infection.
48:31Really, Gary?
48:32Doesn't seem very suitable.
48:33Yeah, she's got a prescription
48:35for her yeast infection
48:36while watching...
48:37Yeah, she got the prescription through
48:39while she was watching
48:40a popular TV soap.
48:42Yeast ender?
48:43No, Hollyoaks.
48:45Mind you ask.
48:50That's the sound that tells me
48:52we've come to the end
48:53of our podscarf.
48:55If you do want to get in touch,
48:57please email us
48:58at podcastharryhill.co.uk
49:01So that all that remains now
49:03is for me to thank
49:04our expert, Chris Lintot,
49:06and, of course,
49:06our special guest,
49:08Phil Wang.
49:12Butterfly in blue jeans
49:15Hamster in a ship on top
49:18Puppy in a poncho
49:22Fluffy duckling with a bob
49:25Butterfly in blue jeans
49:28These are the things
49:31of our dreams
49:35These are the things
49:38Good night, everyone.
49:39Thanks for watching and listening.
49:41See you next time.
49:42Of our dreams
49:58Oh, Mr. Burnham.
50:01I was looking for Harry.
50:02Do excuse me.
50:04Do excuse me.
50:05Don't...
50:06It's the Harry Hill Show
50:10Harry Hill Show
50:11Harry Hill Show
50:12It's the Harry Hill Show
50:16Harry Hill Show
50:17Harry Hill Show
50:18It's the Harry
50:21Harry Hill Show
50:25It's the Harry Hill Show
50:29It's the Harry Hill Show
50:30It's the Harry Hill Show
50:34It's the Harry Hill Show
50:34It's the Harry Hill Show
50:34It's the Harry Hill Show
50:35It's the Harry Hill Show
50:35It's the Harry Hill Show
50:36You
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