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00:04Thank you for letting us be ourselves
00:06So don't mind me if I repeat myself
00:08These simple rhymes be good for your health
00:11Keep them trying rhymes get it sharp
00:13Live my life like I just don't care
00:15Five thousand leaders never scared
00:18Raving noise is the moment they fear
00:20Get up, sit up here for my door
00:22Get up and throw your hands in the air
00:25Get up and share nobody's got it
00:38Salute a magpie, secure your mirrors and knock on your wooden leg
00:41It's Friday the 13th, we're live and it's time for The Last Leg
00:47Tonight on the show, America and Iran trade shots
00:50We crack open a cold one at the Winter Paralympics
00:53And our banknotes get a refreshing spritz
00:56Plus we'll be joined by comedians Richard Ayoade and Michelle Wolf
01:00On the show that always laps up the news
01:12Good night
01:15Hi I'm Adam Hill
01:17Welcome to The Last Leg
01:18The show that saw this photo released today
01:20Andrew Epstein and Mandelson
01:22And thought that's the hardest game of shag, marry, kill ever
01:26He's always the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe
01:28And the man who thought the Strait of Hormuz
01:30Was the Middle Eastern equivalent of Queer Eye
01:32Alex Brooker
01:39Loads to get through tonight, loads to get through
01:41But before we do, every now and then
01:42Okay, so something happens before the show
01:44And it happened tonight and always happens
01:46When Josh and Alex come out here
01:48I introduce them to the audience
01:49And we always do a little bit of a fist bump
01:51Yeah
01:51Or shake hands or whatever
01:52And last week we did, Josh and I did the
01:55Because we're cool middle class, middle aged men, aren't we?
01:58And then we got to Alex and did the fist bump
02:00And when I did
02:02And I went, oh, you can't do it
02:04No, no, no
02:05I don't
02:06I mean, mainly because
02:07Like, I am 41
02:10Not a jocking high school musical
02:12But no
02:14I can't believe
02:15But you've been doing that to me
02:16For so long
02:17Yeah
02:17For so long you've been doing it
02:19And you've only
02:19You've only just noticed
02:21Like, you've only just noticed
02:22You're the only one that climaxes
02:24You're such an unattentive
02:26But no, I don't
02:27I do kind of
02:28I kind of
02:29I pay
02:29I do a little bit
02:31It's not really an explosion, is it?
02:32It's more just a
02:33A little sprinkle of, like, napalm
02:37Which is also what my Scottish mates call me
02:39But
02:40I mean, it all
02:41To be honest
02:42I mean, yeah
02:44I felt really bad about this
02:45I felt really bad about this
02:46But then, look
02:47You did feel bad
02:48And I felt bad that you felt bad
02:50Because on the plus side
02:51Like, if you did it to Josh
02:52Yeah
02:52And went, poof
02:53And then you came up to me and went, eww
02:56Fuck that
02:58Imagine if I did that to Josh
02:59I went, poof
03:00And then I looked to you and went
03:01All the explosions already happened
03:05So I felt
03:06So I've had something made up for you
03:08It's a little present here
03:09I've had a fist made up
03:12That when you give me a fist bump
03:14A little explosion will happen
03:16So, can you
03:16Alright, you ready?
03:18Okay
03:18I hope this is going to work
03:19Ready?
03:20One, two, three
03:21Whoa!
03:30It doesn't stop
03:31Oh, jeez
03:31You look like you've wanked off a troll now
03:35But am I allowed to keep this?
03:36Yeah
03:37I'm going to have a good night after this show
03:46Look, we are live
03:47As Penny Mordaunt found out last week
03:51So you can send any questions you want to ask us about the news
03:55Instagram, the hashtags, is it okay?
03:56WhatsApp, the number's 07956175908
03:59You can scan the QR code on your screen
04:02For example, is it okay that the Bank of England is going to replace historical figures
04:06With images of UK wildlife on its next series of banknotes
04:10And it's going to let the public choose which animals
04:15Nooo!
04:15Because if I know the British public, those animals will be Peppa Pig, Gromit and a fox eating a nappy
04:20out of a bin
04:22Before you know it, all paper money will be called Notey McNoteface
04:26So they've gone for animals, haven't they?
04:29That's what they're going to put up
04:29Is it basically because they're worried now with people, you don't know who's going to get cancelled anymore in the
04:35future
04:35So they think they're safe going with animals
04:38But you wait until they find out that there's a squirrel named in the Epstein files
04:45Nigel Farage spoke out about that this week
04:47And a lot of people have blaming wokery or PC gone mad
04:50But the truth is, there was a public consultation
04:5260% of people chose wildlife
04:55And Nigel Farage should know, you have to respect the will of the people
04:58Lib Dem leader Ed Davey was also up in arms
05:01Although his message seemed more accidentally comedic
05:05Winston Churchill helped save our country and the whole of Europe from fascism
05:11He deserves better than being replaced by a badger
05:20The next bit is, replace him with two badgers
05:24In a long coat, like they're going to the cinema
05:28Look, it's not like Winston Churchill's being erased from history
05:31He's still remembered by the war rooms, the statue in Parliament Square, the dog in the adverts
05:38Look, we thought we'd do something different tonight
05:40We've got a comedian and illustrator of the best-selling Adam Kay books, Henry Packer here
05:44And he's going to draw a banknote throughout the show tonight
05:48Henry, thank you so much for being here
05:50Absolute pleasure
05:51Can we start though, with my suggestion
05:54A quick illustration of a fox eating a nappy out of a bin
05:57Okay, a fox eating a nappy out of a bin, okay, let's do it
06:02Um, so start with the nose, this is a classic UK fox
06:07Yep
06:08Um, okay, so that's the gob
06:11This has changed into a very different show, hasn't it?
06:13Um, the triangular ears, the key feature
06:17Well, that is a good fox, isn't it?
06:18And the nappy
06:20Yep
06:20So it's out of a bin, right, so it's, uh, yeah, as an illustrator, we tend to go for the
06:24old, the old school bins
06:25It's the, um...
06:28Oh, lovely
06:28It's a classic
06:29Yeah, yeah
06:30Um, so, uh, soils nappy
06:34Yeah, of course
06:35I mean, who throws out a clean nappy?
06:39Fair dues
06:40Level of soiling?
06:41Oh, no
06:45Oh, brooker on a Saturday morning
06:48Brooker on a Saturday night, okay
06:50Okay, so that's a really, really deeply heavy soil
06:52Yeah, perfect, lovely
06:54There's some dripping going down the side of the bin
06:55Okay, um, right, so the fox
06:57Okay, oh yes, for the fox, um
07:00Do you want it on a stepladder?
07:01To, to be, um, to be able to reach the, or high heels, that's the choice
07:06Or can it be both?
07:09I've never done that before, but let's try it, yeah
07:11So the front legs are on a stepladder
07:13Yeah, imagine people just tuning in thinking, Alex Brooker's got better, ain't he?
07:20Okay, we've got the classic tail, obviously
07:22Yep, lovely
07:23And the rear legs in a nice pair of, um, nice, quite sexy
07:30Oh, lovely, yep
07:32Sexy high heels
07:34Um, and, um, just as an illustrator, I'm legally bound, if I draw a bin, to draw a, uh, fish
07:40skeleton
07:41Sicking out of it, and a banana skin in the foreground
07:44Uh, also here's just, just some shit UK weather
07:49And, um, yeah, there you go
07:53That's, I mean, for me, that's the fiver
07:56Uh, throughout the show, Henry's going to be creating, uh, a pound note based on, uh, whatever we talk about
08:07in the show, basically
08:08Yep
08:08Whatever comes up, it's going to go on the note
08:09Um, thank you, Henry
08:11Alright, let's get into the big story now
08:12Joe said, is it okay that the chaotic war has continued between US, Israel, and Iran?
08:17Good luck, Henry
08:19Uh, this week, America and Israel continued to attack Iran and Lebanon
08:26Meanwhile, Iran fired missiles at everything in sight
08:28It kind of feels like Iran right now is basically the kid at school in a fight who just does
08:34this
08:34To try and take everyone out
08:36It's really hard to do without hitting the desk
08:38Um, Iran are hoping they can cause enough disruption to the world's energy supplies
08:42That they can stop America and Israel from attacking them
08:44Now, they can do this because 20% of the world's oil and gas supplies
08:49Pass through something called the Strait of Hormuz
08:51Which is right below Iran
08:53Supposed to, oh, sorry, Josh
08:54Isn't that just the start of EastEnders?
08:59Yeah, you know what's interesting?
09:01As the bombs fell last week, they went
09:02Boom, boom
09:05Oh, yes
09:11So what I found out this week is basically, for the ships, the ships that are getting through
09:15Yeah
09:16Basically, the way they're getting through to avoid being hit by Iranian missiles
09:19What they're saying is, is that they're saying they're from China
09:22Right
09:23So basically, it's like, it's all right for them to pretend to be Chinese
09:26But Josh, you did it once when we went out for that meal
09:27Yeah, yeah, yeah
09:29Don't draw that
09:34It's kind of mad to go to war with someone who controls something you need to survive
09:37That's like starting an argument with the anaesthetist right before an operation
09:41And I still regret it
09:44And he went in for an ingranto now
09:47Well, to be fair, you haven't got one now
09:54Petrol prices in America have jumped 20% since the start of the war
09:58Donald Trump is clearly spooked
09:59Watch this enlightening clip
10:01The president's subtly deflecting the blame for attacking Iran
10:04While throwing his mates under a bus that's now 20% more expensive to refuel
10:08In my opinion, based on what Steve and Jared and Pete and others were telling me
10:16Marco was so involved
10:17That I thought that they were going to attack us
10:22It sounds like so playground, doesn't it?
10:25Like he started a war based on gossip
10:27It's like, yes, Jared's gone up to him and gone, by the way, Donald, um, the Isle of Tollas reckons
10:32he can have you
10:33Also, he says you drive a girl's bike
10:37Yeah, I mean, World War I may have started with the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand
10:40World War III might start because of Jared, Steve and Pete
10:45They sound like three guys in your chat group whose videos you don't want to open at work
10:50Or they're the three presenters of the Australian last leg
10:53And you're still bitter about them getting the job, aren't you?
10:56I, when I heard this clip, I heard something different to everyone else
10:59Yep
10:59I think he's blaming the war on former Liverpool captain Stephen Gerrard
11:05Watch again, because I've watched it quite a lot today
11:07Yep
11:08My opinion, based on what?
11:11Steve and Jared
11:14Wow
11:18I'm just saying it
11:19Do you know what?
11:20Jamie Carragher was in his ear
11:24Stephen Honcho was giving him all that
11:28The War of Memes continued this week
11:30The White House released this truly tasteless video
11:32That made the war look like a game on Nintendo Wii
12:02I mean, it's a poor thing
12:06And it's not accurate
12:07Because if it was, he would have let go of the bowling ball
12:09And hit the school next door
12:12Iran have hit back, actually
12:13With one that's depicted in Mario Kart
12:15But obviously Princess Peach isn't allowed to drive
12:19Iran did actually hit back with their own homemade Lego video
12:22This is, I'm not making this up
12:24This is what they put out
12:25This explains why they think Donald Trump started the war
12:41They are totally winning
12:44The UK are also planning a video of their own
12:46But it's going to take four years for Aardman Studios to make it out of clay
12:51But it is going to be the best one
12:52Oh mate, can't wait for Wallace and Gromit the wrong targets
12:59So everyone's asking, what's the end game for Donald Trump?
13:02What are they hoping to achieve out of all of this?
13:04This is the thing though
13:05Any time in history, when you go into the Middle East
13:08Like when there's a war
13:09And these wars are not over quickly
13:11Yeah
13:11No one ever goes into the Middle East for a quick one
13:14It's like a beer garden
13:16Middle East, it's like a beer garden
13:18You know, you go in there
13:19You say you're everyone
13:20It escalates
13:21Always escalates
13:22And before you know it
13:23Someone's like, shots
13:25Jager bombs
13:27Yeah
13:29Was there in a third?
13:31No
13:33I'll be honest with you
13:34It was a little bit sunny earlier
13:36And I was just thinking about beer gardens
13:38Before you know it
13:39The Strait of Hormuz has backed up
13:42The US military have reportedly
13:44The US military have been using an AI model
13:47Known as Claude
13:48To speed up the process of choosing targets
13:51So what, does it talk to them?
13:53Like when I talk to chat GPT?
13:55I'm assuming, yeah
13:56You think you're bombing the Middle East?
13:58That sounds like an excellent idea
13:59So people, the madness is the US using it
14:04Using AI to choose military targets
14:07Yes
14:07At the same time as people who are using AI to choose a present for Mother's Day
14:12Yep
14:12Imagine if they got confused
14:43And they just started bath bombing Iran
14:44There are now reports
14:45He may have been injured in the attack that killed his father
14:47Might even be in a coma
14:49So we're hoping he doesn't wake up and say
14:51Hello, my name is Moshtaba Kemeni
14:53You killed my father
14:54Prepare to die
14:56He released a statement this week
14:57Which prompted the Telegraph to run with the headline
14:59Moshtaba Kemeni has called for Iranian unity
15:01But he may not be alive
15:04This whole war might come down to whether we run out of oil
15:06Before they run out of ayatollahs
15:08Who do you reckon's next?
15:10They're going to get through them
15:11I've got an idea
15:12There's someone who's looking for a new royal title
15:19And he doesn't mind hot places
15:21Because he doesn't sweat
15:24He has to keep moving
15:25Exactly
15:26You know his nickname
15:27The Ayatollah of Partiola
15:31By the way, it was also revealed this week
15:32The new Ayatollah owns various properties across London
15:34They're currently available to rent on surface to Airbnb
15:38And from Ayatollah to loves a dollar
15:41Donald Trump has been handing out his favourite brand of affordable dress shoes
15:45To his aides and officials
15:46And a lot of them are apparently reportedly afraid
15:49Not to wear them in front of him
15:51Look, there they are putting the bro into brogues
15:55Has anyone wondered whether this might be like Cinderella
15:59And Trump has actually danced with a beautiful senator at a party
16:02And he's just trying to find out
16:03Who wore the shoe
16:06And in fairness he's already turning into a pumpkin
16:09I'm looking forward to when he starts handing out his bronzer
16:14And then goes
16:15Can I recommend a barber, guys?
16:18Meanwhile, the defence attaché to the UAE
16:20Has made the media this week
16:21Mainly because of his name
16:22This is a lovely image of the sandy-haired military leader
16:25Known as Captain Sandy Sandylands
16:28Which sounds like he's been named by the British public
16:33The thing with Sandy Sandylands is once you have a bit of him somewhere
16:36You just can't get rid of him, can you?
16:38Well, we loved the idea of Sandy Sandylands
16:40And it turns out he's a slight fan of the last leg
16:44Because we've been in contact
16:45And he's on a Zoom chat with us now
16:47So, hello
16:49Is he frozen?
16:52Yes, he has frozen
16:53That's not him, but he has frozen
16:55Oh, has he?
16:56Sandy Sandylands, are you there?
16:59No, this does not auger well for our military technology
17:05He might have another call coming in, in fairness to him
17:08You know when we said Aardman would be looking after the British technology?
17:12It does feel we're going at a slower pace than that
17:15I'm not going to say I'm worried right now
17:17But we're trying to connect with a British military officer in the Middle East
17:20And I just heard in my ear, he's completely gone
17:23I think he's fine
17:24Just to be very clear, this isn't a sketch
17:26We genuinely were trying to get in contact
17:29It now feels like we're playing a prank
17:31Yeah
17:32It turns out he's downloading a movie at the same time
17:36Let's move on and welcome tonight's guests
17:37One of them tries not to laugh
17:39The other one will make a how
17:39Please welcome Richard Ayoade and Michelle Wolf
17:57Welcome sir, welcome to you both
17:59Alright Michelle, I'm going to throw it at you
18:01You're American, what do you make of all this
18:02That's gone on in the Middle East and Iran and everything
18:05And Donald Trump
18:05Well I just, everyone says that Trump has dementia
18:09And I just, I was wondering if he could get more of it
18:13Not enough dementia happening in the morning
18:15He does not, I don't think he has enough
18:16He seems to really remember who he's angry with
18:20Yeah
18:20And now we're at war with Iran
18:23Which could last a very long time
18:25I mean these wars are never quick
18:27This war could go on for so many years
18:29That Trump wouldn't want to have sex with it anymore
18:35And now, now we're, you know
18:38We're supposed to trust our leaders
18:40And you can't trust Trump with anything
18:43You can't trust him with ordering an appetizer
18:45Or picking the music
18:47Or what fruit is ripe
18:50You can't trust him
18:52Hey does that taste good
18:53Hey does this look good
18:55You couldn't trust him with real estate
18:57Or spray tan or makeup coverage
19:00And now he's sitting next to the nuclear codes
19:04And I think the only thing more alarming
19:06Is if you went to your secondary school
19:08And Andrew was there
19:10And with the whole world's being affected
19:12Obviously petrol
19:13People are stocking up on petrol
19:14Richard are you stockpiling anything?
19:17I mean I'd be looking to
19:19Stockpile cravats
19:22Because you know
19:23I want to remain sport
19:24It's very
19:25It's hard enough to get a good dry cleaner
19:27In peacetime
19:29So and these things
19:30They're delicate
19:31They're very delicate
19:32You can hand wash them
19:33But they'll fade
19:35Do they pass through?
19:36You know
19:37I need to maintain standards
19:39Someone's got to look like a Columbo villain
19:42After the apocalypse
19:43Have you ever worn anything
19:46Purely because someone gave it to you?
19:47This has been taken from a military dictator
19:52Hopefully I'll be able to travel there
19:53Immediately after this joke works itself out
20:00Now we didn't get to talk to Sandy Sandiland
20:03Oh is he here?
20:03This is a shame
20:04No no no
20:04But you've come up
20:05You've come up with the game
20:06Based on his name
20:07Yeah in honour of Sandy
20:09So we were inspired by Sandy Sandiland
20:12So we came up with our own game
20:14Which is about nominative determinisms
20:16So we're of course calling it
20:18That Job's My Name
20:19That Job's My Name
20:21That Job's My Name
20:22That Job's My Name
20:24That Job's My Name
20:35Okay the gameplay is simple
20:37We're going to show you a job and a name
20:39And these are real or fake people
20:42You have to tell us
20:43Whether this person really does the job
20:46To lock the answers in
20:47We've given you very simple props
20:48If you think it's true
20:50Put on the trilby of truth
20:51Brooke will show you that
20:52Yep
20:53There you go
20:54You basically just
20:54Hang on a second
20:55Just put it on like that really
20:57Yep
20:57And if you think it's false
20:58Put on the fedora of false
21:00Sorry I love that you went
21:01I might need to explain how to wear a hat
21:04Fedora of false
21:04Put that on Hilsie
21:06Put that on Hilsie
21:07Okay
21:07There you go
21:07There's a fedora
21:08And whoever we
21:09The fedora of false leg over there
21:10Oh look at that
21:11Look at that
21:13There you go
21:13How's that
21:14Blimey
21:14That's the most Australian man
21:16I've ever seen in my life
21:18Now
21:19There is a mystery prize for the winner
21:21Here's a mystery prize
21:22Here it is
21:22There it is
21:24Let's unveil
21:25It's not much of a mystery
21:27It's a box
21:28Let's unveil the first name
21:30Brooke
21:31Read it out
21:31Is there a urologist called Dr. Dick Chop
21:39I've seen this urologist
21:42I can tell you
21:43The answer is
21:44It's true
21:51I feel like that hat looked better on me than I thought it would
21:54Is the president of the Royal Horticultural Society called Tim Flowers
22:03I mean
22:05They're taking it more seriously than I thought Alex
22:07I've got to say a lot of these are guesses
22:09Yeah
22:10I would also
22:11I feel like there's a guy named Tim Flowers
22:13That would love to work with flowers
22:15But he doesn't
22:16Wow
22:17I can tell you the answer is
22:18It is false
22:19You guys got that right again
22:21But he is called Keith Weed
22:25That's also a urologist
22:31I like the way you made the joke and then flip the hat
22:37I can't demonstrate that
22:39Right then
22:39Is there a man who runs a temp agency called Steve Jobs
22:46I thought he was dead
22:49True
22:52It's false
22:54But I can tell you
22:55I don't know if you know this
22:56He did used to run a company called Apple
22:58Come on
22:59You've heard of it
23:00Final one
23:01Is there
23:03Another urologist called Dr. Burns Cox
23:06There it is
23:08Okay
23:08Wow
23:09Dr. Burns Cox
23:10I want this to be true about how I feel about men a lot of times
23:14But I think it's false
23:15Oh it's to decide
23:16I put on the wrong hat
23:18I put on the wrong hat
23:19Wait I think we
23:20For the game play do you want to choose a different hat?
23:23They're not both of you
23:24No
23:29Well I can tell you
23:30The answer is
23:31I'll go with the
23:32True
23:32Correct
23:33You are a winner
23:34And you win your prize
23:37Which is a special pair of Donald Trump's shoes
23:40Oh
23:41Don't lie Michelle
23:41You are not the only winner
23:43Because
23:44Everyone gets a shoe
23:45Here we go
23:46Come on Josh
23:47You get a shoe
23:48You get a shoe
23:49Please don't fry the lady in a wheelchair
23:51Josh
23:51Please don't throw wheelchairs at the same
23:54Shoes at the same people
23:55Keep going
23:56Here we go
23:56You get a shoe
23:57We'll have more last leg for you after the break
23:59As we check out the action of the Winter Paralympics
24:01And we finally get to talk to Sandy Sanderson
24:03Who I believe
24:04Sandy Sandilands
24:05Who I believe is back on the line
24:06We'll see you in a little bit
24:21Welcome back to Last Leg
24:22We're joined by Michelle Wolfe
24:23And Richard Ioharty
24:25We have got in contact with Sandy Sandilands
24:29In the UAE
24:30Defence attaché to the UAE
24:32Come in Sandy Sandilands
24:33Yes
24:34Hey Adam how are you
24:37Thank you for joining us
24:39What has your fame been like this week
24:41It's been bonkers mate
24:42Honestly
24:44The reaction to the X feed that the embassy put out
24:47Has just been crazy
24:49Seven million views
24:51You know I just hope that half of those
24:53Actually listened to the message
24:54But most of them were
24:56Were interested in the name
24:57And the location
24:59So yeah
24:59I am the Sandy
25:00In the Sandy desert
25:01In the UAE
25:03And Sandy is a nickname
25:05Because it's normal in the army
25:07To give people nicknames
25:08Are there other famous nicknames around you?
25:11I think the one that stands out for me
25:13Is the guy called Jock Stirrup
25:15So Jock Strap
25:15Who was the most senior guy in the military
25:18And what I quite admire about him
25:20Is a lot of guys
25:21When they get senior
25:21They start
25:22You know Steve becomes Stephen
25:23And all that
25:24But this guy went right to the very top
25:25Of the military
25:25And stuck with Jock Strap
25:27So I like that
25:29And listen
25:29How do you think Alex Brooker
25:31Would go in the military?
25:32Oh that's interesting isn't it
25:34I was watching last week
25:34And I saw his kind of shower chair
25:37So we have a unit called
25:38The Mobile Bath and Shower Unit
25:39Or we used to have
25:40In the Pioneer Corps
25:41So maybe he could bring
25:42His bath chair along to that
25:43But actually thinking about it
25:45If he's going to serve in the military
25:46Then you've got to kind of
25:47Go through it all
25:48And not bottle it
25:49And as an Arsenal fan
25:50I'm not convinced he can do that
25:52Hey
25:55Sorry Sandy
25:57We're losing you
25:58Sorry mate
25:59It's alright
26:00I told her he's got my internet again
26:01Doesn't he?
26:02It's alright
26:02All my mates call me
26:03Handy Handelands anyway
26:06Good luck out there
26:07Thanks very much for joining us
26:08Sandy Sandelands
26:09Thank you
26:10Sandy
26:15Moving on
26:15Gemma said
26:16Is it okay that Peter Mandelson
26:17Still has his lordship
26:19So documents were released this week
26:20That led to questions about
26:21Due diligence
26:22Shown by the Prime Minister
26:23When he appointed Peter Mandelson
26:24As ambassador to the US
26:26Despite Mandelson's friendship
26:27With Jeffrey Epstein
26:28Turns out the vetting process
26:29Had all the rigour of BBC's iPlayer
26:31When it says
26:32Do you have a TV licence?
26:35I've got away with that one before
26:38What would have stopped him
26:39Getting the job?
26:41Being friends with two pedos?
26:43Sorry
26:43It says specifically
26:45Criteria
26:45Friends with one pedo or less
26:47Sorry
26:48Keir Starmer apologised for the appointment
26:50But if his vetting process
26:51Could be represented by a video
26:52It would be this famous one
26:53Of a Tottenham security guard
26:56Any links to Epstein?
26:58No, go through
26:58Any links to Epstein?
27:00No, go through
27:02Any links to Epstein?
27:03No, go through
27:05Any links to Epstein?
27:07No, yeah, you're alright
27:08Go through
27:09I absolutely loved your impression there
27:11But Alex
27:13You said something on the show
27:14A couple of weeks ago
27:14That I think might be true
27:16Whoa, whoa, whoa
27:19Mum, can you record this?
27:20How dare you accuse him of truth
27:21Could he have appointed
27:23Get the trilby of truth on, Brooker
27:26He's possibly appointed Mandelson
27:28To keep Trump on side
27:29Because basically
27:30Epstein
27:30Jeffrey Epstein said
27:31Supposedly
27:32Quote
27:33Donald Trump doesn't have
27:34A decent cell in his body
27:35Which would suggest
27:36Epstein knew some shit
27:37About Trump
27:37And if Peter Mandelson
27:39Was friends with Epstein
27:40Then he probably knew
27:41Some shit about Trump too
27:42So maybe, like you said
27:44Send a wrong'un to deal
27:45With a wrong'un
27:46And honestly
27:47In a couple of weeks
27:48You're going to be comparing
27:48The war in the Middle East
27:49Again in a beer garden
27:52Mandelson apparently asked
27:53For just £500,000
27:55When he eventually was sacked
27:56But settled for £75,000
27:59Which makes him
27:59The worst negotiator ever
28:00I just want to get out
28:02One tiny pun
28:03Yeah
28:04Because we had Sandy Lance
28:06Yeah
28:06Is that
28:07Instead of Mandelson
28:08He should be
28:09Kid-delson
28:11It's not a good pun
28:14The whole time
28:15I always thought
28:16Mandelson
28:16Kid-delson
28:17Kid-delson
28:18Right
28:18And I've been thinking
28:21About it
28:21The whole time
28:22You were talking
28:24I had to get it
28:25Out of my body
28:26I'm sorry
28:27I apologise
28:28Many people around
28:28Mandelson
28:29Have said similar things
28:33You met the whole point
28:34You set up Richard
28:36And he can dunk
28:38That was also
28:39No, sorry
28:43I love the way
28:45You're also
28:45Both mirroring body language
28:46And green trousers together
28:48We're trying to
28:49Out-defensive one another
28:51How sandy
28:52Were his curtains
28:53By the way
28:54He was hamming it up
28:56That guy
28:56He basically came
28:57With a club act
28:58He had the tightest
28:59Three minutes
29:00I've ever seen
29:00From the military
29:01I mean
29:03I've never seen
29:04Camouflage
29:04Work so well
29:05Yeah
29:06I mean
29:06He was
29:07Basically
29:08The curtain
29:10We actually had him on
29:11Before
29:11We just couldn't see him
29:14Let's jump into
29:14The Winter Paralympics
29:15Now
29:15Steve said
29:16Is it okay
29:16That after two fourth places
29:17Neil Simpson
29:18And his guide
29:19Rob Poth
29:20Bring home silver
29:21Yes it bloody is
29:22For GB
29:23Here's the medal moment
29:26Come on
29:26Neil Simpson
29:27One last drive
29:29Into the finish
29:29He goes into the lead
29:31But by how much
29:324.96 seconds
29:35Oh
29:36That was fabulous
29:3942.52
29:39On that slalom run
29:46Explain
29:48It's worth explaining
29:49What's happening there
29:50Yeah so like
29:51He's being guided
29:51So the guy in the front
29:52He's his guide
29:54So the guy's visually impaired
29:55Neilson
29:55He's visually impaired
29:56So he's being guided
29:57Basically by the guy
29:58With a blue tooth headset
29:59On in front of him
29:59He's basically
30:00Probably going like
30:00Left a bit
30:01Right
30:02I mean I don't know
30:02The exact terminology
30:03I didn't know
30:04You're an expert
30:05What does he say
30:07If they want to go
30:08To the other side
30:09Right a bit
30:09Oh bloody hell
30:10But that is like
30:12The ultimate trust
30:14I couldn't trust
30:15Any of my mates
30:17To do that
30:18They'd just be going
30:18Left only fucking about
30:20It's a treat
30:22Also you need to trust
30:23Your bluetooth
30:23You don't want that
30:24To drop out
30:24Halfway down
30:26It gets to the bottom
30:27Halfway down the hill
30:28And you just hear
30:28Bloop bloop
30:32Best impression
30:34Of Spotify
30:34I've ever heard
30:36Shout out to Nina Sparks
30:37By the way
30:38The first British female
30:39Para snowboarder
30:40And also Davy Giv
30:41The first snow sport
30:43Winter Paralympian
30:44With motor neurone disease
30:45Davy said
30:46Was I fastest
30:47Down the course today
30:48Absolutely not
30:49But my race and battle
30:50Is with MND
30:51And today I'm winning
30:52That race
30:53Well done Davy
31:02GV in Australia
31:02Currently have
31:03One silver medal each
31:04But Australia also
31:04Have a bronze
31:05Meanwhile the Italian
31:06Para ice hockey team
31:08Released this brilliant
31:08Clip of their training regime
31:33It's so interesting
31:34That in Italy
31:35That's training
31:36But in Britain
31:36That's a pip test
31:40Jimmy's curlers
31:41Didn't make it
31:41To the medal podium
31:42But they did provide us
31:43With some of the best
31:44Self commentary
31:44Of the games
32:00We've got those two
32:02On the line now
32:02So please welcome
32:03Jason Keane
32:04And Joe Butterfield
32:12No we don't
32:12Not again
32:14Oh Sandy Sanderlums
32:15He's going to pop back up
32:16Could I have done this show
32:17Via Skype
32:18As well
32:18To be fair
32:19To the people away
32:20From Peckham
32:21It's an hour
32:21To be fair to these guys
32:23They are at the Winter Paralympics
32:24So it's not surprising
32:25They're frozen
32:26Oh no we've got them
32:27We've got them
32:28Jason and Joe
32:28Hello
32:33Alex you want to jump
32:34Straight in with a question
32:35Yeah Jason
32:36I've just got
32:36Like main question is
32:38Like what do you mean
32:39By like how many bags
32:40Of milk have you thrown
32:41In your life
32:43I've never heard that phrase
32:44Wait a minute
32:46I'll just explain
32:46It's not the curling stone
32:48That's a bag of milk
32:49It's actually Jason
32:50It is me
32:51I am the bag of milk
32:52Because as you can see
32:54From many of the videos
32:55I am a rather large portion
32:57So with my break being high
33:00So I'm paralysed
33:02From the armpits down
33:03So whenever I don't
33:05Throw it well
33:06Then it comes out
33:07Almost like a bag of milk
33:09So me coach
33:11He like named it
33:12And he was like
33:12Keep a hold of your stabiliser
33:14Properly
33:15Throw it strong
33:16He says
33:16And stop throwing it
33:17Like a bag of milk
33:18So when I let that stone go
33:20I was like
33:20Throw it like a bag of milk
33:22Turned out
33:23It was a pretty good stone
33:24To be honest
33:26And Joe
33:27Of course you were in
33:27Rio as well
33:28You won gold in Rio
33:30In the summer Paralympics
33:31How does this one compare?
33:33Well not quite as good as that
33:34Since we didn't get gold
33:35But you know
33:37It's a bit different
33:38The Winter Games
33:39Is probably a bit more of a family
33:40It's kind of a smaller group of people
33:42And they've got a bit of a more
33:43A bit of a culture going on
33:45But other than that
33:46It's pretty similar
33:47And Jason
33:48As your first Paralympic Games
33:49How are you finding it?
33:51It would have been a hell of a lot better
33:52To get a bit of metal
33:54Around the neck
33:55Like that was the plan
33:57But as an experience
33:58It's absolutely mental
34:01Like coming in
34:02Like
34:02Oh wait man
34:03Look at this
34:03Do I look like an athlete?
34:05Next thing you know
34:06Come on
34:06You're going off to the Paralympics
34:08You've managed to make the grade somehow
34:10It's been unbelievable
34:11Like
34:12And
34:12It seems a shame
34:13That it's coming to an end
34:14And it's a shame
34:15That it came to an end
34:16A bit early for me as well
34:17And are you aiming
34:18For four years time now?
34:20100%
34:21Hopefully yeah
34:22That's the plan
34:22Like
34:23It's pretty special
34:24The Paralympic Games
34:25We don't normally get to compete
34:26In front of a crowd
34:27And the noise in the arena
34:28At the curling stadium there
34:30Was insane
34:30The Italians have done a good job
34:32So
34:33To come back for you
34:34Is time to be critical
34:34Excellent
34:35Well get out there
34:36Get training
34:36And maybe next time
34:37You'll throw out
34:37Like a semi-skimmed bag of milk
34:40Let's take a bottle of milk
34:43Because it'll be started solid
34:47Round of applause
34:47For Jason and Joe
34:49Enjoy the rest of your time there
34:52We'll have more
34:53Last thing for you
34:53After the break
34:54As we unveil this week's mystery guest
34:55We'll see you in a little bit
35:10Welcome back to Last Leg
35:11We're joined by Michelle Wolfe
35:12And Richard Aoiwati
35:13Michelle of course
35:14You're off on tour this summer
35:15Yes
35:16The name of the tour
35:16Best job in the world
35:18Best job in the world
35:19Oh my god
35:20I had so much hair
35:22That was before I had a baby
35:24I had so much hair
35:25Look at this
35:26I look like a little boy
35:29Get Peter Mandelson away from me
35:34And this just occurred to me
35:35You didn't end up being a wolf
35:37Yes
35:38So in terms of nominative determinism
35:40No
35:41I mean how disappointing is that
35:43I could have been a wolf
35:44And I'm a little boy instead
35:47It's good for Peter Mandelson
35:49But
35:49Well but if you were together with Peter Mandelson
35:52You'd be Peter and the Wolf
35:52So
35:53Oh
35:54Thank you
35:55In
35:58That might be my favourite joke
36:00Everyone was so impressed
36:01They didn't laugh
36:03Get your own act
36:05In Medical News this week
36:06A surgeon in London
36:08Has performed the UK's
36:09First long distance robotic operation
36:11On a patient who was
36:121500 miles away in Gibraltar
36:14Here is some graphic footage
36:16Of the operation
36:18A historic moment
36:222400 kilometers away
36:24Unbelievable
36:25We used a robot
36:28And a very specialized connection
36:30Between London to Gibraltar
36:33Didn't fail at all
36:36The time delay
36:37Between the two sides
36:3960 milliseconds
36:42We need to get him on this wifi
36:47For our Zoom
36:48I bet you he's great
36:51On them grabber machines
36:52In the arcade
36:54Just a house full of the boo-boos
36:57It's impressive
36:58But if you are the patient
36:59And they go
37:00We're going to try
37:01A historic thing on you
37:02I'd go
37:03No
37:04I want my operation
37:06To be done
37:06Yeah you can do it
37:08I don't want you to do it though
37:10The patient described it
37:11As a no-brainer
37:11Which is ironic
37:13Because it was a prostate removal
37:15It wasn't
37:16That's not a joke
37:16Oh yeah
37:17They have
37:18They're doing
37:19Robotic prostate removals
37:21I just want them to do
37:22One thing for women's health
37:23Just one thing
37:25Like a better tampon
37:26Or
37:27To act like
37:29Endometriosis
37:34Diagnose women correctly
37:35Tell them
37:36Don't be like
37:37You're just whiny
37:38No it's a real
37:39There's fibroids
37:41Filling my body
37:42We can't get the robots
37:43To do that
37:47It is appropriate
37:48That it was a prostate removal
37:49Because
37:50Gibraltar is very much
37:51The prostate of Spain
37:53Well no by that
37:54I mean it's
37:54It's hidden away at the bottom
37:56No one knows why it's there
37:57But it's a lot of fun
37:57To visit on holiday
38:02In AI news
38:04A woman from Florida
38:05Asked her chat GPT
38:06This week
38:07To suggest a place to live
38:08Based on amenities
38:10That she put in
38:10That she was looking for
38:11She's now planning to move
38:12To Torquay in Devon
38:13Yes
38:14Because that's where
38:15It told her to go
38:16Rightly so
38:17AI has finally reached
38:19Peak intelligence
38:21I love this
38:22This Florida woman
38:23Is going to go there
38:24And she's going to
38:25She's going to see
38:25The sea there
38:27Which is going to be
38:28Very different from Florida
38:29And she's going to be like
38:30Is this where
38:31World War II happened
38:34This looks like the movies
38:35Am I in Dunkirk
38:37And look you might think
38:38Florida's different
38:39To Torquay
38:40But Mar-a-Lago
38:40Is a lot like the hotel
38:42In Fawlty Towers
38:43They're both owned
38:44By shouty dictatorial men
38:45Who have zero people skills
38:46And don't get on
38:47With their wives
38:48Although Mar-a-Lago
38:48Has slightly more mentions
38:49Of the war
38:51Alright it's time to bring
38:52On this week's mystery guest
38:52Michelle and Richard
38:53Have to work out
38:54How they're connected
38:54To the news
38:55Can we have the mystery guest
38:56Please
39:00Mysterious guest
39:08So this is Glenn
39:09Glenn was in the news
39:10This week because he's going
39:12For his 18th world championship
39:14But what is it in
39:16Can we have the dramatic
39:18Lighting change please
39:21Is it in being the quickest person
39:23To eat 80 grams of watercress
39:25Being the man with the mintiest breath
39:29Or being the person
39:30Who can fit the most
39:31Basil in their ears
39:33And nose
39:36Have a look at him
39:37Have a discuss
39:39We will reveal
39:40The mystery guest
39:41After the break
39:42We'll also win the show
39:42By going head to head
39:43With him
39:44In a challenge
39:45We'll see you in a little bit
39:59Welcome back to Last Leg
40:01We're joined by Michelle
40:01Walker and Richard Ayoade
40:02Now before the break
40:03We challenged our guest
40:04To work out how this person
40:05Was connected to the news
40:06Can we have the options
40:07Again please
40:09So Glenn has been in the news
40:11Because he's going for
40:11His 18th world championship
40:13But is it in
40:15Being the quickest person
40:16To eat 80 grams of watercress
40:18Is it being the man
40:19With the mintiest breath
40:20Or is it C
40:21Being the person
40:22Who can fit the most
40:23Basil in their ears
40:25And nose
40:27The floor is yours
40:28Oh I like that
40:30Yes
40:31Well 80 grams
40:33Feels a very specific amount
40:37That with all due respect
40:39To the team
40:39I don't think
40:40They would have thought up
40:45And when
40:46When you say the team
40:47I need to point out
40:48It's Josh and Alex
40:49That come up with these
40:51That's who I meant
40:51By the team
40:55How very dare you
40:57I very dare
40:57And all of these
40:58Are excellent album titles
40:59But
41:02Yeah I would say
41:0480 grams
41:05Is very specific
41:06I
41:08It's just
41:09He doesn't look like
41:09He eats a lot of lettuce
41:12Yeah
41:12Yes
41:1480 grams
41:15Isn't a huge amount
41:16Okay I need an answer
41:17Well you say you need an answer
41:19I think we need to discuss it
41:21For another 10 minutes
41:24I'm most concerned about the belly button
41:26On the t-shirt
41:27Yes
41:28Okay
41:28We need an answer
41:29Let me put it in another way
41:30Okay
41:32And now we've seen his
41:33All the crest
41:34Final answer
41:35Final answer
41:37It was crest
41:38Okay
41:39I haven't even run that by
41:40Yes
41:41Yes
41:42Yes
41:42Glenn
41:42What is the truth
41:43I am
41:45I am
41:45A 17 times
41:47Watercress eating champion
41:48Yay
41:57Where's your other 17 trophies
42:00So how
42:01You've won
42:01And I'll give it back every year
42:03How did you get into it
42:03Oh it's back in 2002
42:06Oxford where I come from
42:07Starting the festival
42:08To celebrate
42:09The spring
42:10Where they get the first crop of watercress
42:13Rugby boys
42:14Do all the parking
42:15And helping out
42:16We decided
42:17After a while
42:18We got a bit bored in the afternoon
42:19After playing cock and ball
42:21And then
42:23We haven't got time
42:23That's not a world championship
42:25You want to win
42:29Anyway
42:29We got all this green stuff
42:31What are we going to do with it
42:32I said we've had a few beers
42:33Let's try and eat as much as we can
42:35So you can eat the most of it
42:36Didn't end up well
42:38That's it
42:39Puking up
42:39And I think it's next day as well
42:42After a few more beers
42:45Honestly
42:45Let's put it this way
42:47I wasn't constipated
42:48In fact I had a ring piece
42:49Like a dragon's nostril
42:50Oof
42:51Okay
42:51What does it take to be
42:53A good
42:54A good
42:55Cress eater
42:55Is that
42:56Cressor
42:56Yeah what do you need
42:58What do you need to be a good
42:59Well because it's peppery
43:00And horrible
43:00In a sense
43:02Like that
43:03I think
43:04Having a big hands
43:05And a big bob
43:08Get it down there quick
43:09And get rid of it
43:10And that's why I have the old Guinness afterwards
43:11Just get rid of it
43:12How many other people
43:14Are you competing against
43:17This is worldwide
43:18We'll tell you what
43:19We're going to end the show
43:20By competing
43:21Against Glenn
43:21We do heats
43:23Okay
43:23We're going to have a competition
43:24At the end of the show
43:25Glenn thank you so much
43:26For being here
43:26We'll see you in a minute
43:27Because we're going to have a competition
43:34Let's check in with Henry Packer
43:35Who has been designing a pound note
43:39A ten pound note I believe
43:40Throughout the show
43:41Based on what's gone on in the show
43:42Yes indeed
43:43Yes so yeah
43:44This is sort of
43:45Oh wow
43:45Look at that
43:46Actually would you two mind holding this
43:48Thank you
43:48So I can talk you through it
43:50Okay
43:50Yeah so
43:51Quite a lot going on
43:52We've got Donald Trump here
43:54Using a Wii controller
43:55To control the war
43:56Yep
43:57He's on a sofa
43:58At home by himself
43:59I've depicted him
43:59With quite weak legs
44:01Which is satire
44:06But of course
44:07It's actually more
44:08Even more sinister
44:09Than it looks
44:09Because Donald Trump
44:10Himself is being puppeted
44:11By Stephen Gerrard
44:17I've got
44:17Here we've got
44:18Sandy Sandilands
44:19Part one
44:19That's Sandy Sandilands
44:20That's him
44:21Camouflaged against
44:22The persons
44:24Here we've got
44:25We've got
44:26You've got Hilsey
44:26As a kangaroo
44:28With
44:29In your pouch
44:30You've got
44:31Got Brooker and Josh
44:32There
44:34Feeding Alex
44:35With milk
44:37And just sort of
44:38Ruffling Josh's hand
44:39It's quite a sweet
44:40And slightly sinister image
44:41At the same time
44:41Yeah
44:43Then we've got
44:43Sandy Sandilands part two
44:45This is a more realistic take
44:46I was fascinated
44:48About how low down
44:49His camera was
44:53And yes
44:54On the nominative
44:55Determinism theme
44:56I've tried it
44:57For everyone
44:58For the whole cast
44:59Tonight
44:59So we've got
45:00Alex Brooker here
45:00Who's in a brook
45:04Which is quite clever
45:06We've got
45:08We've got hills here
45:09As a hill
45:10There you go
45:11With one leg
45:12Which is actually
45:12More than the average hill
45:13So you're doing
45:14Really well there
45:14We've got
45:16Michelle Wolf
45:18Henry I'm afraid
45:19We have to wrap it up
45:19Go through really quickly
45:21And we've got
45:21Rich hard
45:22So I picked you as rich
45:24There's money
45:24There's money
45:25You've got one of those
45:25Hot taps instead of a kettle
45:27Because you're rich
45:27You're also ripped
45:28And you're hard
45:29So the hot tap
45:29Is actually going
45:30Onto your arms
45:30And you're fine with it
45:31Because you're rich
45:32And hard
45:33What about my second name
45:34Thank you so much
45:35Didn't have time
45:36We're going to win
45:37The show with
45:38The quest leading contest
45:38Thank you Henry
45:39But before we do
45:40Would you please
45:40Thank our guest
45:41Michelle Wolf
45:43Richard Iowati
45:45And Henry Packer
45:48And my co-host
45:50Josh Whittaker
45:50And Alex Brooker
45:54We'll be back next week
45:55With social media star
45:56GK Barry
45:56And comedian Jack D
45:57But right now
45:58It's time for this
46:00We'll be back next week
46:15We'll be back next week
46:31All right
46:32We're doing this
46:33We've got Cress in front of you
46:35You've got to beat
46:36The world champion
46:37What's your best time?
46:3825.5
46:3925.5 seconds
46:413, 2, 1
46:43Go
46:44Go
47:06There we go
47:15Oh my goodness, is Michelle going to win?
47:19I'm going to be honest, I think Michelle has done this.
47:25Oh!
47:30Of course, you know what you're doing.
47:32You know what you're doing.
47:43You're right, Michelle.
47:44Thanks for watching The Last League.
47:46My name's Adam Hills.
47:46See you next week for The Next League.
48:13The Next League
48:18Better than anyone
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