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00:04you're a waste of a life in sports depot you mean i'm wasting my life at sports depot you
00:10are in the top five most beautiful men in peterborough she's shit on my shoe
00:15fuck you alan you little prick i think mogs just quit congrats russell for what a new leader has
00:22arisen team leader so who's in charge now i'm in charge yeah good one in charge air max 95 in
00:33the
00:33original colorway i said i'd never break these bad boys out the box till i got married or had a
00:39baby
00:41but something even better happened i was made manager at sports depot it's one of those things
00:50you never think will happen to you life actually going well for once what are you doing you want
00:58heat or something what not balloons for us yeah no it's a fair point i am in a position of
01:04responsibility now don't get cancelled no he's got like 70 of his body covered in tattoos oh does he
01:11well i'm 90 covered in hair doesn't mean i'm gonna open a shop about it he's so focused and driven
01:17and then my career is looking good now too probably get a pay rise yeah nice all right see you
01:25what are you doing what jesus get on your way before you try and finger me or something yeah see
01:30ya
01:38i can't tell if it's the bubbles in these trainers or the promotion but i'm walking on air
01:44these people they know what i'm about i'm a high street elder to them i'm basically a black belt in
01:51retail all right guys okay we're not you're not moving again you're cool if i just try and no worries
01:58man
01:59um please cheese nope come on just go around the back see you in a bit guys
02:22if i'd have known it was this good to be manager i'd have started as one in the first place
02:29ahem we're doing the floor is lava uh we're basically trying to get from one side of the
02:34store to the other side of the store but without touching the floor guys this is brilliant really
02:41good great team building exercise i'm proud of you it's privileged to work here floor is lava
02:50floor is lava you got this floor is lava floor is lava go for it right playtime is over what
03:00are you
03:00doing what are you doing back to work this is a place of work people i don't know why mogs
03:10was ever
03:10stressed out to be honest it's so much easier back here than on the shop floor i might just stay
03:16back
03:16here all day yeah oh the phone's ringing sorry hello and the manager of sports depot peterborough is
03:29mogs russell russell yes there he is the man with the plan that's right yeah everything is uh rosy
03:37yeah good glad to hear so you've sorted out your shoplifting problem then yeah shoplifting yeah you
03:42know there's little robbers hang around outside i want them gone russell oh the lads
03:48yeah i'd rather they were in here just doing a little bit of shoplifting than you know somewhere
03:53else doing god knows what it's an honor that they have chosen sports depot and to be honest in a
04:00sense they are part of the wider family yeah yeah uh listen i hate uh hate to do this but
04:07any more
04:08losses are going to come out of staff wages so it's up to you to stop them why why don't
04:12we get like a
04:13security guard russell you said it yourself you guys are a family okay and a family doesn't farm
04:17out its problems to outsiders and the last one got properly fucked up remember that's sort of what
04:23i'm worried about if you know we did approach them it could get a bit sort of aggressive whoa i
04:31don't
04:31want any of my staff getting physical yeah so just confront them just confront them but not physically
04:36but not in a physical but stop them yeah stop them as a family how is this fair the ceo
04:44has two lambos
04:44just in case he drunk crashes one and they want to take pennies off us little pagans yeah tell me
04:50about it i literally just did bro what are you gonna do yeah yeah no i'm just thinking we need
04:57to work
04:57out what we're gonna do you're talking about you naughty bastards hey hey don't what hey don't wind
05:04them up in some countries they cut off hands just saying we're definitely not cutting off hands all
05:10right i don't have many rules as a manager i'm actually quite relaxed but that's one of them none
05:15of you are getting hurt not under my watch well i'm not getting paid less just because you're a weak
05:19little man we have to do something okay malenga you know how good managers sort of pass on
05:27responsibility just thinking maybe i don't know if you sort of could have a word like man listen
05:34i trained to look like this so i don't have to fight obviously i can fight you don't know about
05:39my
05:39mma days elbow man in the eye but that's behind me you know i'm on a strict probation i left
05:45london
05:45to get away from that no you moved here with girl and that well i'm not gonna roll over and
05:50wait to
05:50be fucked we're doing it my way i like to look someone in the eye when they're fucking me oh
06:02okay even if i've got moments left to live and i'm literally begging do not give it back okay i
06:08mean
06:08i guess but i don't know why you put yourself through this though well because i need to save 5k
06:11for
06:11australia and my biggest outgoing expense is ganj so this ain't the kind of place where
06:15be at full capacity but wow yeah no i i get why you didn't give it to me because i'm
06:19a manager and
06:20i've got a lot on my plate yeah yeah no it's because if i gave it to you there's a
06:24zero chance
06:25you'd stand up to me but i'm a manager and i have a lot of responsibility now fine thank you
06:30actually before we start can i just have it back quickly no we haven't started yet we have started
06:35i literally swear swear on someone's life i swear on princess diana she's dead okay claire balding
06:40claire balding yeah okay but if she drops dead that's on you okay she will see
06:50poor claire balding we have a cat in the bag what do you mean you got a cat in the
06:54bag all right i'm
07:10right not to get locked in sports depot to be fair what about my humor right to a full wage
07:15what if
07:15he needs a piss oh i could do with the piss actually next piss you'll be doing is behind bars
07:19with it tucked between your legs because you'll be the new prison bitch all right everyone just
07:23calm down all right i'll talk to him the time for talking's over russell we should be chopping off
07:28hands or maybe i should call george allen and tell him you haven't got the minerals for the job
07:32i'll deal with this all right and unless malenga you fancy yeah like man yeah no worries i'll i'll
07:37take this one take this for protection okay are you ready yeah oh my god it's like a prize reveal
07:47isn't it it's like everyone a teenager what's your name son aj talk to me aj what's gone wrong in
07:55your life that's brought you here what's a sports step up poor bastard it's not your fault you can't see
08:00a
08:01life beyond crime eggers what's that called a systemic societal issue yeah listen can we just
08:08call the police because i can't be with this what i'm putting another young man in the system
08:13no that's not the sort of manager i want to be well if you won't do it i'm phoning the
08:16police yeah he's
08:17mugging us off no police all right look how pathetic he is we deal with this in-house i was
08:23like him once
08:24handsome full of dreams lost in the concrete jungle i get it it's a code and you know what saved
08:29me
08:29retail maybe that can save you
08:34a new fantastic point of view no one to tell us no where to go
08:44say we're only dreaming a whole new world
08:51oh it's literally like my first day sober at sports depot you know it's like the lights have
08:57come up at the club has it always been this ship yeah it's really disappointing we've got like eight
09:04hours left as well how'd you get through the day okay this is gonna sound controversial yeah but you know
09:10if you just do your job yeah it goes a little bit quicker yeah like seven people on that well
09:15i reckon
09:16i could serve people you know she looks nice not that mad old bad she always gets lost in there
09:23listen i told you stop coming here i told you it's my place of work so
09:30you don't think i live with my girl not my nan yeah i'm supposed to be a bad man
09:37you bad man oh why are you laughing you know i'm the baddest man in the mosque hands down
09:44temper your temper we need to talk about tonight i've got a man coming around for a date another date
09:51it's the third day actually we're having dinner at mine and things might get a bit
09:58messy that's enough yeah that's disgusting what i meant sex i love having you live with me
10:06but why haven't you got a place of your own by now big boy all grown up i can have
10:12my own place
10:12you know how hard it is to buy a house right now yeah it's not like back in your day
10:15when you just get
10:16a cereal box cut out and boom you have a mortgage to disrespect save your money you know what it's
10:25cool yeah i got a bad girl i can call up i just you know link all my teens that's
10:29more like it that's
10:30my boy and i see you tomorrow not too early i might want to rematch you know rematch who even
10:38says that
10:38you know wwf man this is brilliant yeah you're right it is brilliant no no no i'm genuinely excited
10:49about how much you're fucking this all up get out i'll lock her up prick you can't make me work
10:56here
10:58okay this is your chance as a high street elder it is my duty to look out for the youngers
11:04and also
11:05chance for you to pay off your debt i didn't take anything edgars show him robbing bastard exactly
11:13you are a robbing bastard okay respectfully but this big opportunity for you the day working
11:20at sports depot could be the start of your retail career or i'll call the place simple
11:26wait so are you asking me or making me out why can't it be both edgars
11:32tell him what's good about working here parking is convenient no like you know
11:37sort of sense of family no i have family okay okay it's a commission basic commission commission
11:46working here you've been making bank listen if i wanted to make bank i just work my brother yeah
11:52it's a drug dealer is he hiring hey what do you mean is he hiring a weird guy weird sense
11:58of humor
12:10you're just good yeah
12:19so busy oh have i missed lunch
12:23it's 10 a.m 10 a.m 10 a.m fucking hell oh that's mental
12:38that's malenga he's an ex-roadman turned his life around working in sports depot am i right baby
12:44yeah proper inspiration now i'm lucky enough to say he's my best mate
12:48you've never met outside work have you no it's more an in work thing why don't we i told you
12:54i
12:54was busy that day man i've got bare ventures and consistent gallium yeah yeah it is do you know what
13:00i was thinking about earlier do you remember that time that guy came in drinking a tango and i said
13:04hey
13:05man no food or drink allowed in the shop and he got proper shirty and then guess what what he
13:12tripped up
13:12right spilt his drink everywhere didn't he yeah man drops his tango i know you said um he said you've
13:20been tangoed
13:27oh don't he had to be there he probably was there stealing
13:31shit he knows the deal oh it's not fun to work here just accept that he doesn't really think that
13:36do you think that that's pretty sick boxing gear ah yes good way to allow some aggression in a
13:42positive sort of way don't have a go nah come on don the pads him he's putting one in boxing
13:48yes aj
13:49as well anthony joshua do you like him yeah does a lot of adverts oh god what are these six
13:55ounces
13:56all right you ready left right yes double left one big right yeah you punch that man man all right
14:05check this out then all right man ah
14:07fuck mate are you all right are you okay don't take these off man ah aj mate i was joking
14:14oh my nose
14:24i'm so done i just want to go home he's got to sit tight mate wait for that swelling to
14:29go down
14:31amazing george allen says get rid of shoplifters and don't touch them you give one a job and batter
14:36him that was an accident didn't bat me it's a lucky punch that's why i don't don the gloves too
14:43powerful i'm bound to be manager after this fuck up i might even keep you on make you my little
14:48bitch even get you a badge that just says pitch ross i beg you just let the little man go
14:54what if
14:55he's got a concussion my dad's gonna kill me if you think something fighting again oh then your dad
14:59what are you from a you're from a tasty family are you yeah i looked him up on high street
15:04shoplifters
15:05network aj brady brady family rough as fuck shit hold on it says here symptoms of concussion
15:13dizziness moodiness he has been well moody to be fair yeah because you punched me in the face you
15:18dickhead see what we're gonna do you're gonna call george allen and tell him i resign put jemma in
15:26charge and then you're gonna go home and wait for aj's family to come and kill you okay they wouldn't
15:33murder we'll go okay i'm just gonna go get some air guys okay you're in charge
15:46right you're in there didn't know you're in there
16:01you're in there you're in there you're just hiding from customers you know keep asking me
16:08stuff though yeah they do that thing is it's never a question i've got something to say on like climate
16:12change or the israel palestine problem i know it's always where are the socks you know where are the
16:19hats why aren't you wearing shoes and then i fuck all about trainers it's it's sickening it's
16:24embarrassing oh did you know you're stress sweating again russ it's really hot would you want me to
16:30leave you in the chill out room to yourself maybe yes please yeah that's fine thank you wish me luck
16:35good luck thank you
16:41positive smiling don't need to smoke oh hi uh do you want this in another size no it's full of
16:48pee oh okay
16:49um is it your pee oh don't know why i asked that um how'd you do these in a balloon
16:55oh um what i can
16:57do is i can look out the back for you if that helps are you creeping me up sorry man
17:15just watching
17:17it heal i think it is getting better oh god it's getting worse that that is proper disgusting
17:26shit wait aren't you meant to be on tails oh yeah i just wanted to see if you want to
17:29go for a smoke
17:30that's all you said you're off it no i am but i just like to know it's there and i
17:34just spent 20
17:35minutes listening to a guy talk about tennis rackets and then a kid pissed into a shoe so i need
17:40something
17:42and because it might help with the pain don't you think will it yeah i think it will
17:48yeah okay i'll see what you're doing you want to hang out with a big dog me obviously i think
17:55i'm
17:55really getting through to him hmm all right come on then come on so what sort of uh sort of
18:03tennis
18:03racket did he go for then oh no i told him we don't sell tennis rackets no we do they're
18:07um they're
18:08upstairs by the not today rissa
18:16see aj this is retail life your dad would actually kill us would he kill you you mean
18:25do you always look like green my hands feel a little bit funny such a lightweight yeah i thought
18:3814. we're fucked the floor is lava
18:54we gave drugs to an actual child
18:57yeah we're definitely going to jail do you reckon it's one of those crimes where
19:00you go sell us for one night like tonight maybe oh i'm so jealous you're high
19:08russell your mom's in the shop what she didn't say she was coming um okay yeah tell her i'll be
19:15uh
19:16i'll be done yep i'm gonna i'll be back don't let him leave this office
19:26mom i'm coming please don't leave
19:31never seen you move so fast where's my mom oh she's never coming back
19:35i just wanted you to see this thought it might upset you
19:49noted okay laid man all right russ oh my god this is so awkward i'll see you later
19:58why are you even chatting to him he's wearing a waistcoat he's not even a magician you know his real
20:02name's jeremy russell i'm horny what yeah take me but you said that i'm in a position of
20:10responsibility and not to act like a baboon who gives a shit what i said okay because i am horny
20:14so okay do you want to stand here talking about it or do you want to take me into the
20:17sports
20:17step by changing room yeah yeah jesus christ are you always aging shit quick quick quick quick who's
20:23aging okay um can you just be nice though please it's just quite stressed out yeah sure um just
20:38maybe this would be better in the bedroom it's just a cracker shoots up in here this is a modern
20:42romance i keep thinking about this 14 year old kid i mean it's weird but we can work with it
20:50yeah did you look at the flats i sent you yeah but is this in yen or something because there's
20:55hella zeros and it's a bit too much for a one bed still all right cool how about you see
21:01one of
21:02them empty flats you got you do a little try before you buy kind of deal i'm sorry that's not
21:06the thing
21:06all right you'll get back to me yeah all right cool thank you thank you thank you are you like
21:11a proper
21:11london road man yeah yeah i couldn't tell by my swag that's sick yeah man obviously i can tell you
21:17bear stories about the ends and at the hood tonight if you want if you got like a spare room
21:21or something
21:22bunk bed i'm 14. yeah that's kind of weird can you not tell anyone that i'll ask you that if
21:27you were
21:27making paper you have your own house i got my own house i just i just live with my nant
21:32and my
21:32my girl at the moment it's a little bit complicated you're moist man you call it moist bro you're wet
21:39bro
21:39you look like gary lindercore before he's on match of the day this i ain't babysitting this waste man man
21:45hey wait wait wait just let me out yeah yeah let you out watch
22:00turns out i actually do need to smoke weed to work here so can i have my stuff back there's
22:04no way you
22:04are not a quitter i am and i'm cool with that listen mind over matter you have to manifest australia
22:11yeah
22:12you never get what you want from life unless you take control of your destiny wait are you still
22:17talking about me ah listen let me do a local calculation on sports depot wages no weed yeah it
22:25will take you six years to say for australia six years yeah six years
22:49sorry about that it's a bit quick um normally i last on my last longer
22:57that that's that's completely consensual we're looking for a kid called aj oh thank god for that
23:04yeah uh no aj yeah sure good kid uh we do not want to press charges just a bit of
23:10short lifting
23:10actually aj is the one who called us he says he's being held against his will oh right
23:17do you want to come to the office that's where we hold that's where he is not holding him it's
23:23just where he's been kept in in like a non sort of weird way do you know what i mean
23:31yeah yeah
23:34you detained a 14 year old made him work for free punched him and drugged him and then detained
23:41him again well you know you put it like that it does sound quite bad right i don't even know
23:47what
23:47crime this counts as but whatever it is don't do it again yeah yeah sorry
23:53i was just trying to look out for you man he's gonna tell everyone you're a nonce don't tell anyone
24:03i'm once everyone hates nonces i i hate nonces i do exactly what a nonce would say shut up
24:10give me a puffer jacket and three pairs of trainers and then i won't tell anybody you're a nonce
24:14okay here's another deal right you work here full time okay you work hard you make something of
24:20yourself you could be like me a nonce shut up and i won't abandon you
24:34well don't think twice about shoplifting here again yeah because you straight up gave him 200
24:39quids worth of stock and some valuable life lessons can i have a word yeah sure
24:48let's go back mate amma just told me you want to join the game of mine tonight
24:53shit what what game all this time and you wanted to you should have just said you're gonna have to
24:59stay though we go late like midnight late technician that's gonna love this it's gonna be mental
25:06see you down there technician that's fat no
25:14you know that mad old bird from earlier yeah she's just dropped this for you and she said that
25:20she hopes that you found somewhere to stay tonight while she's getting laid oh my god
25:25your nan's a shagger respect i can't believe i'm staying at russell's no just manifest manifest
25:36proper shame i couldn't convince aj that retail is the one but i'm a high street elder i tried to
25:42bring him into the tribe but actually some people are wrong and he won't fit into the tribe so i
25:47had
25:47to reject him plus george allen's happy because the lads have moved on to foot zone the job well
25:54done in the end although the manager is a certified nonce down there best of all me and malenga are
26:01finally doing something after work always invite your staff back to yours basically they love it
26:05my man's stock bar the bog lord running through the goblin's wolf's ends you get me you might not
26:11back back crossbow plus two inner your head top yeah everyone in the forgotten realm dead wow
26:19you like it bad you can leave now yeah i look like wonder woman bro so good man
26:27happy anniversary you gonna make up to me take me outside this dinner is gonna clean me right out when
26:33they ask you do you want to see the specials later on you might even get to see her specials
26:37maybe
26:38dish of the day might be shaved truffle what are you doing let go of i'm getting fired he is
26:43out of
26:43there he's coming to watch me fire him the psycho big dog now i will show you exactly what a
26:49triple list let the game begin
27:00yo check the script me and the guards getting ripped brunt's in the grip 40 dogs in my lips had
27:07a box
27:08boom boom the base would blast he was laughing at all the girls that passed conversation
27:13it
27:13you
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