Life with Pfeiffer Syndrome: Latrea's Journey

Unfiltered Stories

Today on Unfiltered Stories, we explore the life of Latrea, a young woman who was born into a home plagued by neglect and addiction. On top of these challenges, Latrea was born with Pfeiffer Syndrome, a condition that made her look different and required extensive medical care. Neglected by her parents and denied even basic needs, she was eventually placed in foster care, where her situation only worsened. Latrea faced severe discrimination due to her appearance, but her story is one of resilience and determination as she fought to overcome her circumstances.   #survivorstories #pfeiffersyndrome #healingjourney   Follow Latrea here:  http://www.coachlatrea.net/  http://www.facebook.com/treaboo  IG & TT: @coachlatrea79   Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.  Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.  By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.    🌅 FOLLOW US 🌅  Facebook ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredFB  Tiktok ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredTT  Snapchat ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredSN

Transcript

00:00Hello, my name is Latria Rush. I am the mother of an 18-year-old, as well as I have

00:07a husband.

00:08My home life was very different, I would say, and the odd part about this is because as a child,

00:14a young child, you never really know what's going on, but you can tell there's something different.

00:20It's like you might not be able to put your finger on it, but as you grow up and as

00:25you look at other

00:26children and other households, and you compare them to yours, you're always like, okay, wait a minute,

00:32there's something not quite right about here. But as a child, you don't have any choice but to, you know,

00:40kind of go with the flow, I guess. Even though you might know that there's something not quite right

00:44here. My mom was addicted to drugs. Now, I want to say she was addicted to drugs before I was

00:53born,

00:53but she wasn't as bad until after I was born. And, you know, when you become an adult yourself,

01:02you can kind of look, you can kind of, you kind of look at your parents as adults, not just

01:07as your,

01:08as your mom. Because when my mom became a drug addict, or a heavy drug addict, if you will,

01:14she was dealing with having a disabled child. But at the same token, I can also empathize

01:21and understand that here you have a child that was born with a rare disability that nobody knew

01:28nothing about, okay? You're taking this child back and forth to the doctor day in, day out, day in,

01:36day out. And you're the only one doing it. So, you know, you don't have any type of support system

01:42to lean on or to help you. But again, I'm not saying that's a reason for someone to actively

01:50use drugs. But if something like that were to happen, you can kind of, sort of, maybe understand

01:58just a little bit. I have a disability called Pfeiffer syndrome. This syndrome came about in

02:061975, I want to say. It's a chromosomal, chromosomal disability, where I think you're either lacking

02:13a chromosome or you have too many chromosomes. I don't really know, you know, the specifics of it.

02:19But at any rate, with this particular disability, the bones in your body don't fuse the way they're

02:25supposed to fuse. That's what creates our joints. That's what creates our, our structure of our arms

02:31or our legs. And the same goes for in your skull. So in my case, my bones did not fuse

02:37properly.

02:37There were some areas in my skull where I didn't have bones and my brain was exposed. And then on

02:44top of that, we have stems that go all the way around your skull. And these stems protect the skull

02:50from sitting on top of the brain. Well, when I was born, I didn't have any stems. I have had

02:56over 35,

02:5745 operations. The first operation I had, I was two months old. I had to have what right here is

03:04called a trick because I couldn't breathe throughout my neck. I couldn't breathe. So I had to have

03:08something, I had to have a tube in my neck to help me breathe. There had been times when I

03:13was rolled

03:13into the operating room at 10 o'clock in the morning and did not come out of the operating room

03:19until two

03:21o'clock the following morning. I had lost so much blood that they didn't think that I was going

03:26to make it. I've had bones taken from different parts of my body to rebuild me a skull. But imagine

03:33going through that as though, as a mother by yourself. And I think for my mother, I think she

03:40was chasing that feeling. She enjoyed that feeling of escaping, of escaping responsibility just for a little

03:47while. My mom was getting money for us every month. My mother would never purchase the food. My mother

03:53would sell the food stamps for money to buy drugs. You walk in the house and you open your refrigerator

03:59and there's nothing there. My mother sold everything she could possibly sell. I remember, I'm about to tell my age,

04:07the VCRs first came out and everybody wanted the VCR. So I remember my mom got us a VCR. And

04:14I was so

04:14excited. I had all these Disney movies I wanted to watch. So I told myself, I'm going to school today.

04:21When I come home from school, I'm going to fix me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and some chocolate

04:27milk.

04:27And I'm going to watch Cinderella. I get home and I walk through the door and there's no VCR on

04:34the TV.

04:34There was a VCR sitting on that TV when I left the school this morning. Where is the VCR? Me

04:41being who

04:41I am, I walk out the house, turn back around, walk back in. Maybe I'm, you know, I mean, maybe

04:46I'm seeing

04:47stuff or maybe, you know. So I looked and the VCR is still not there. And so I go and

04:52I find my mom and I

04:53ask my mom, what happened to the VCR? And she gives me the same reason she always gives me. None

04:59of your

04:59business automatically know what happened to the VCR. She sold the VCR. I went to school with, uh,

05:05sometimes dirty clothes because my mom didn't wash the clothes. As time went on, it got worse and worse

05:11and worse. It got to a point where she moved the drugs. She put my dad out and she moved

05:17the drug

05:17dealers inside the house. And then I remember, I think I was 10 or 11. And by this time my

05:25sister was

05:25born. And we got put out. I came home from school and there was an eviction notice on the door

05:31due to

05:31lack of payment. And, um, they put our stuff on the street, on the curb. So I'm nine, 10 years

05:39old,

05:40getting off the bus with my friend. And I'm walking by and I'm seeing all of my toys, all of

05:46my furniture,

05:47all of my things on the street. We had to leave because we didn't have anywhere to go. We walked

05:52the

05:52streets for three days because we had, we had nowhere to go. And I remember my sister telling

05:59me she was tired. I mean, she's only two, so what do you expect? I had to pick her up

06:03and put her on my

06:04back. I went from one shelter to another. And back then you could only stay in those shelters for a

06:10limited amount of time. It didn't matter whether you had kids or not, but you can only stay in there

06:15for a limited amount of time. So we ended up going to this, going into this program with Department of

06:22Social Services. And they put us into what's called a transitional shelter. Now in a transitional shelter,

06:29what it's supposed to do is it's supposed to transition you from the shelter to your own place.

06:36That's the whole idea. You're supposed to be working while you're in the shelter. You're supposed

06:40to be working towards getting your own place, getting stable, getting on your feet. Well,

06:45that's difficult to do if you're still on drugs. And the thing about it, even while we were in the

06:49shelter, my mom was still abusing drugs. At this point, I knew, you know what I'm saying? I knew

06:55what it was. I knew what was going on. And I felt like it was my responsibility to hold it

07:00all together.

07:01I couldn't tell anybody. You know, when I go to school, you can't tell anybody your mom's on drugs.

07:06You can't tell anybody what's going on. Because if you do, they're going to take you away.

07:10Yes, we stay in that shelter for about a year. And then finally, from that shelter,

07:14we transition to our own place. Again, she's still on drugs. And I think this is when it becomes

07:21the worst of the worst. We move into an apartment. And again, she moves more drug addicts,

07:28more drug dealers in with us. So when I tell you, we had people sleeping on the floor. We had

07:35people

07:36sleeping everywhere. And I would have to get up every day and go to school like nothing was going

07:43on, like nothing was happening. I had to get up and go to school and pretend like it was all

07:48good.

07:48When I came home, I didn't know if I was going to have dinner. I didn't know where my next

07:53meal

07:53was going to come from. But I had to get up and go to school and put a smile on

07:57my face and

07:58be a happy-go-lucky kid like it was all good. And I think that was like the toughest, one

08:03of the

08:03toughest times in my life. Because so many times I wanted to tell somebody what was going on. So

08:10many times I wanted to scream out, I need help. I need somebody to come and help me. And my

08:17mom

08:18always had this whole saying, what goes on in my house stays in my house. And I tell parents now,

08:25don't tell your children that. Because what you're missing is, okay, what goes on in your house stays

08:31in your house. Abuse stays in your house. Nicolette stays in your house. Battered stays in your house.

08:37Sexual abuse stays in your house. All of that stays in the house. Because you're not allowed to talk

08:43about it and express it and say what's going on. I find now, today, that's why so many of us

08:50have

08:51different mental health stuff going on. Because we were made to suppress so much of our childhood.

08:58And you're programmed to believe that. You're programmed to believe, oh no, I'm not supposed

09:04to tell you what's going on in my house. Oh no, you might be able to help me, but my

09:08mama said,

09:08I can't tell you what's going on in my house. You start as a kid and you become programmed

09:13and when you become an adult, you do the same thing. Fast forward to sixth grade. Sixth grade

09:20was a turning point for me because for one number of reasons. I remember we were going on the first

09:26overnight trip that we ever took. We take it at fifth and sixth grade and we go to this camp.

09:32It's called

09:33Camp Schmidt. And you go overnight. So I remember going home, bringing my mother the, uh, the, uh,

09:39permission slip. Now they had already paid for it for me to go. All she had to do was sign

09:45the

09:45permission slip and make sure that I had some clean clothes to take with. That's all she had to do.

09:52So I remember putting the permission slip on the refrigerator and every day I came home,

09:57money got to sign my permission slip, money got to sign my permission slip, money got to sign my permission

10:00slip. So finally, about a day before it was due, she signed it. Now it's the whole

10:06clean clothes thing. Cause my mother didn't wash clothes. She didn't, never had any money to wash

10:10clothes. So you were not going to tell me that I was not going on this trip. You hear me?

10:16I put my

10:16clothes in the bathtub and I called myself washing my clothes in the bathtub. And I figured to myself,

10:24okay, yeah, I'm going to wash my own clothes. I'm going to take them outside. I'm going to hang them

10:30on the

10:30patio. By the time the morning hits, they're going to be trash. I could put them in the suitcase and

10:35off the camp I'm going to go. Yeah, I didn't have it that way. The next morning I got up,

10:39they were just

10:40as wet as they were when I put them out there. But no, I wasn't going to let that stop

10:43me though.

10:44I was not going to let that stop me. I put the wet clothes in a bag and I was

10:48determined I was going to

10:49camp. So I went to school and if you know anything about wet clothes that are compacted in a bag,

10:57they start to smell. And then it had like this, and then they're heavy also because they're wet.

11:02So my teacher picked up my bag and she was like, did you put your whole kitchen sink in his

11:07bag?

11:08I was like, no, just my clothes. And then she's like, well, why they smell like that? I said, oh,

11:12I washed them. She was like, what do you mean you washed them? I put them in the bathtub and

11:18I washed

11:19them. And then I hung on outside to drive. She opened the bag and there was nothing but,

11:23when I say soaking wet clothes, soaking wet clothes. They took a field trip to the laundry

11:30mat, washed my clothes, dried my clothes, folded them up and put them in the bag for me,

11:35for me to take. And that's why I said that was a turning point. But the crazy thing about this

11:39is

11:39that I thought I was keeping this big secret and I wasn't. They knew. That's why they always did

11:44extra stuff for me. That's why I always got extra lunch. That's why I got, you know, extra snack. Or,

11:51you know, when money was required, you know, the teachers would pick Hannah to do it for me because

11:56they knew that she was on drugs. I remember one time when Santa's Secret Shop came and everybody

12:02had money to go to Santa's Secret Shop but me. And they put together a grant to give me money

12:08to go

12:08to Santa's Secret Shop because I didn't have the money to go. My teacher would always give me her

12:12daughter's clothes because my mom never bought me clothes. I'm not gonna say she didn't have money to

12:17buy me clothes because that wouldn't be true. She had money. She just chose to use the money in

12:22different places. So fast forward a little bit, I think I started to get a little out of hand in

12:27school. And they called Child Protective Services. Before Child Protective Services came out to the

12:33house, my house was raided. I had one of my cousins who was heavy into drugs was running from the

12:39cop and he

12:40ran from the top of the complex to the bottom of the complex where I lived. And he ran into

12:48my home

12:48and the police was chasing him. And the police came to the door, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang,

12:54on the door. And he came and he wanted to check my mom's apartment for my cousin. And my mom

12:59would let

13:00him come in because she was like, well, you don't have a warrant, so you can't come in. But what

13:05they didn't

13:05know was they had been washing the apartment the whole time. They had been washing the influx of

13:11traffic. They had been washing the time of the night that people were moving. They had been doing

13:17surveillance for about four or five months on her apartment. And one day, I remember them kicking the

13:24door in. And I think me and my sister, we went ahead in the closet. And I can't remember if

13:28they found

13:29anything. I know, you know, my mother put the gun behind the toilet. I don't remember if they found

13:34anything or anything like that. But I do know that after that happened, she got an addiction

13:39notice. And right around the time she got the addiction notice, she also got, we also got taken

13:45away and put into foster care. Originally, we were not supposed to go into foster care. Originally,

13:50we were supposed to go with one of my friend's mom. She was supposed to take care of us until

13:56my mom

13:56got out of, she ended up getting sick and was unable to do it. So we ended up having to

14:02go to foster

14:02care. You know, I don't even have the words to describe foster care. I wouldn't, I wouldn't wish

14:07that experience on my worst enemy. I don't have the words to describe it. I mean, you, you go to

14:12these

14:12homes with people that claim to care, but don't really care. And what it is, is like when you have

14:20a child that has a disability, you get more money for children that have disabilities versus children

14:26that don't. And so when they find out I have a disability, and they're going to get more money,

14:31you know, of course, they'll take me. One of the most horrific foster care homes I was in, I was

14:37in this

14:37foster home. And I had never encountered this in my life. But this woman, a grown woman, mind you,

14:44could not stand to look at me. She made me stay in the back room because I didn't look like

14:50everyone

14:51else. So when I came home from school, I had to go in the bedroom. I wasn't allowed to sit

14:56in the

14:57living room to watch TV. I wasn't allowed to use dishes or regular cups and spoons and bowls. I had

15:03to use plastic stuff, stuff that could be thrown away because she was afraid that whatever I had

15:09would transpose onto their object and they would get it. I remember one time they were going to the

15:16ball. And me and my sister was in, me and my sister went with them. We had to go with

15:21them because

15:21they couldn't leave us in the house by ourselves and in the car. And I think we sat in that

15:25car

15:26nine hours because they didn't want to take me in store with them. Now, at this point, take my sister.

15:33I don't care if you don't take me. I don't care. I'm fine with getting there. But take my sister.

15:39They

15:39didn't have to leave her there. I understood why they didn't take me. I mean, not to say that was

15:44right or

15:44wrong, but I understood. It was hot outside. It was hot in the car. It was like you just couldn't

15:50get no air. I felt like I was suffocating. And I was sitting there through no fault of my own.

15:55I was sitting there because this is the way God chose to create me. I was sitting there because

16:00that's it. I mean, that's the reason I was sitting there because this is how I look. And it's not

16:06like

16:06I had anything to do with that. It's not like I had anything to, any type of, um, planned in

16:12that.

16:12And so what I've learned is, well, in that point in my life, my messages, through my experiences,

16:18I received messages. And in that experience, the message I received was I wasn't worthy. I wasn't

16:24worthy of love. I wasn't worthy of anything. I should just be thrown away. Like paper cups and the paper

16:30plates I ate off of, I was just worthy to be thrown away. That was a message that resonated with

16:35me

16:35without my extended foster care. All because I had a disability. I was treated horribly. In one

16:41foster home, I remember I was not allowed to bathe, but one time a week. Every other time,

16:48I had to go downstairs in the bathroom downstairs to take fur baths. So I would go to school smelling

16:54because I hadn't been in the bathtub. And, you know, I wasn't allowed to bathe. Until this day,

16:59I still don't know why I was only allowed to bathe one time a week. But their form of punishment

17:03was to stand us in the corner. Like we just have to stand there. And sometimes you'll be standing

17:07there so long, you'll forget why you're standing there. I mean, you can feel your legs start to,

17:13to crack. You can feel the numbness sink into your, your knees. And, you know, and it's like,

17:19I don't know how much longer my legs can hold me up. That's just how long I've been standing there.

17:23Like if you did something, if you were disobedient or you lied or whatever the case might be,

17:29it was something infantile. I will say that. And you have to stand there and it will allow you to

17:34stand there until 11, 10, 11, 12 at night. And you'll be so ready to go to bed. You'll be

17:40so

17:41ready to get into bed because your legs are on fire, like literally on fire from standing in one place

17:49that long. And I remember one night I was standing there and I remember I prayed and I asked God,

17:55I was like, God, I can't do this anymore. I can't, my body can't, I can't do this anymore.

18:00And it's clear that I'm talking to you. She said, hold on, I got you. Now at the moment,

18:05that's not what it felt like. But as time went on, I had to trust that he had me, even

18:10though it didn't

18:11feel like it, even though everything around, everything was falling down around me. It didn't feel like it,

18:17but she said he had me. So I had to trust that he had me. There were so many days

18:21where I, um,

18:23I walked my sister to the babysitter and I just felt like walking past the house and running away.

18:28And just, just, just leaving. And like I said, it goes back to my messages and my experiences.

18:33It made me feel unworthy. It made me feel ugly. It made me feel like, you know,

18:38I didn't even know why I was here, why I was created, why I was existing. As a teen,

18:42I've tried to, I've tried to commit suicide several times because I just didn't understand.

18:48I remember being in ninth grade and I was, um, in English class. I was just sitting in a chair

18:54and a young lady turned around and she looked at me and she said, I mean no harm. Now that

18:59should've,

18:59that should've gave me away right there. But somebody says, I mean no harm. Typically speaking,

19:04there's going to be some harm that's going to follow. She said, I mean no harm, but if I had

19:08a child

19:08that looked like you, I would throw it in the trash can. And I'm like, I sat there for a

19:13second,

19:13trying to understand how do you say that with a straight face to somebody. And that, that comment

19:21stayed with me well into my thirties. I can say that that comment governed how I lived my life.

19:27That comment governed my relationships. That comment governed so much of my life until about 35,

19:3535, 36, I finally found a way to break free from it. Because when I say it had me, it

19:41had me,

19:41but it wasn't until I really got into my spirituality and the Bible and the word of God and what

19:49the

19:49word of God said about me. And the word of God says that I am beautifully, wonderfully made in his

19:55image. And it doesn't matter what man says, all that matters is what God says. And I am exactly who

20:03he

20:03wants me to be and exactly what he wants me to be. And it doesn't matter what anybody else says

20:10or

20:10think. And like I said, it took me a minute to lock hold of that. But once I locked hold

20:15of it

20:16and got it, got it in here, that has been governing my life for the last 15, 20 years. But

20:24I say all of that to say, if I could leave one thing with someone that's watching this interview,

20:30you get to the other side. It might take a minute, might take a while, might take what seems like

20:35forever. But to get to the other side, if you don't give up and you don't think, you get to

20:41the

20:41other side. You get to the other side of redemption. You got to keep pushing. You got to push when

20:47you

20:47don't want to. You got to push when it's hard. You got to push when you don't feel like it.

20:52You got to push

20:52even when you feel like you're pushing against everybody else. You still, you got to push.

20:58Because that's the only way you're going to get to the other side of redemption. And when you feel

21:04weak and you feel like you can't do it anymore, you use that pain. You use that pain as your

21:11fuel.

21:12You use that pain. Because if it was not for the pain, if it was not for the circumstances,

21:19if it was not for the foster home, if it was not for the drug addicted parents, I would not

21:26be a

21:26seven-time published author. I would not have a master's degree. I would not have a bachelor's

21:33degree. So people often ask me, if you have to do it all over again, would you in a heartbeat?

21:40I am a

21:40mom. I am a mom. I have an 18-year-old daughter. About 15, 20 years ago, I reconnected with

21:46my

21:46biological mom. We have a different relationship. I mean, I forgive her. You know, I don't hate her.

21:53I don't have any knowledge towards her. But we don't have a mother-daughter relationship. I went on to

22:00get married. I had her. We remained married for 15 years. 15 very long years, long years. And it's

22:09crazy because when I married him, I knew I didn't love him the way that you're supposed to love your

22:16husband. And I thought, okay, well, over time, I'll just grow into it. But I never grew into it. So,

22:22so I just shouted, when I turned 40, I said, I'm not doing this anymore. And that's where my book

22:29came

22:29from. I'm not doing it anymore. I'm not living my life the way that everybody thinks I should.

22:34I'm not conforming to what people think I should be conformed to. I'm going to start being authentic

22:39to the person that matters the most. Me.

22:41be

22:42be

22:42You

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