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Full Frontal (1993) Season 5 Episode 10
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FunTranscript
00:43Go to Outlander.
00:45What?
00:46You know.
00:47What?
00:48Quit showing off.
00:53New stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut.
00:56With a zesty sauce and cheese baked into a new crust.
00:58If you really want to impress them, eat your pizza backwards.
01:05Wow.
01:06That's sure what's sticking your fingers down your throat.
01:13This week in the Business Review Weekly, a special supplement.
01:16Who's inside?
01:17Including Alan Bond.
01:19Prison food keeps me thin.
01:21George Horskew.
01:22I used to think the only hard spell was my name.
01:25And our latest addition, Brian Quinn.
01:27From 26 rooms to one.
01:29How does he do it?
01:31BRW.
01:32$2.99 or two packs of smokes at your prison kiosk.
01:42Good evening and welcome to Late Line.
01:45I'm Maxine McHugh.
01:46Well, last month, Prime Minister John Howard visited Longreach in western Queensland to talk native title issues with concerned farmers.
01:55Mr Howard, how do you think the meeting went?
01:58Look, Maxine, superbly well.
02:02The response was absolutely overwhelming.
02:04Frankly, I was stoked.
02:08It was less than a minute into your speech when you spoke of your immense affection for the bush that
02:14they started jeering you.
02:15Oh, look, no, no, come on, Maxine.
02:19I come on your program to have a lovely chat and you start putting the boots in.
02:24Do you have an immense affection for the bush?
02:27Of course I do, Maxine.
02:28As a great poet once said, I love a sunburned country, a land of sweeping planks, lugged mountain ranges.
02:39Da-dee-dum-dee-dum-dee-da.
02:42No, no, no.
02:44No, no.
02:45No, no, no, no, no.
02:48Henry Lawson wrote that and he was a top bloke.
02:52Actually, it was Dorothea McKellar.
02:55Right.
02:56Oh, well, all right.
02:58She was a top bloke too.
03:01So do you reject charges that you don't understand anything
03:04about the concerns of the bush?
03:06Well, I reject them wholeheartedly, Maxoon.
03:09Otherwise, do you think I would have gone all that way
03:13to talk to those glaziers?
03:18Graziers.
03:19Pardon?
03:21Graziers are farmers.
03:23Well, then, what are glaziers?
03:26They're people who fix windows.
03:30Gee, no, one of my speech went for a bit of a burden.
03:33I mean, I spent the first five minutes
03:36talking about the glass industry.
03:38So do you admit the speech wasn't well received?
03:41No, no, no.
03:42Look, no, I think it's fair to say
03:44I had them in the palm of my hand, Maxoon,
03:47particularly when I started talking about farm animals,
03:50the cows, pigs, mariners.
03:56Mariners.
03:57Oh, look, Maxine, look, if you knew as much about your bush as I do,
04:01you would realise that a marina is a breed of sheep.
04:08That's a marino.
04:09A marina is a huge place where you park a boat.
04:13You're a lorks, is it?
04:14Oh, no, see, what's happened is
04:17I've promised them that under my government
04:20they'd be able to afford a couple of hundred of them.
04:24You don't know a huge amount about the bush, do you?
04:27No, I...
04:28No, no, I don't.
04:30But that is why...
04:31That's why I've got Tim Fisher.
04:34And does he understand about the bush?
04:37Well, he'd better,
04:38cos he doesn't understand anything else.
04:41Mr Howard, thank you for appearing on the programme.
04:43And thank you, Maxoon.
04:45And, Maxine, sorry, just by the by,
04:47I'm sorry about the smell,
04:48but I think I trot in something when I was up at Long Root.
04:52Bullshit.
04:54Well, that's what they kept telling me.
05:23Hello and welcome to the movie show.
05:24I'm Margaret Pomerantz.
05:26And I'm David Stratton.
05:28Well, David, just recently was the 50th anniversary
05:30at the Cannes Film Festival.
05:31We were both there.
05:33What did you think of it?
05:34I had a superb time, Margaret.
05:36So did I.
05:36Certainly well worth the trip.
05:38Vital, I would suggest, for any lover of the cinema.
05:41And not just an excuse to whoop it up
05:43with a bunch of stars and get plastered on French bubbly.
05:45So, Margaret, what movies did you manage to catch?
05:48None at all.
05:48Me neither.
05:49See you next week.
05:50Good morning.
05:53Good morning, sir.
05:54Yeah, good morning.
05:55Would you please step out of the vehicle?
05:56Oh, look, is that really necessary?
05:58Yes.
06:03So, would I be right in assuming
06:06you left home in a bit of a hurry this morning, eh?
06:08Yeah, you would.
06:10Yes, I thought so.
06:16Now, that's better.
06:35Hey, me, Kelly!
06:39I'll be dulled up.
06:40He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he.
06:42You think?
06:43Sit and stay.
06:45So, Kerry, what are you doing?
06:47Yes, I'm watering the garden.
06:49Oh, it's a marvellous what they can do these days, though, isn't it, Kerry?
06:52Yes, it's astonishing.
06:53Yeah.
06:55So, what are you growing, Kerry?
06:56Weary of you.
06:57Really, Kerry, may I please just have the tiniest clipping to my garden?
07:02Yes, well, I'd prefer it.
07:05Look at that.
07:06Scarcely human, isn't it?
07:09Well, Nobby, I won't keep you, I...
07:11Kerry, you should come over to my garden.
07:12I've got everything there.
07:13I've got, er, rhubarb, Patterson's curse, sequoias, Frisians.
07:18Frisians?
07:19Oh, yeah.
07:19I think they're a breed of cow.
07:21Oh, really?
07:23Well, that would explain why I didn't get any fruit off their horns this year.
07:27Well, it's, it's about that time, so...
07:30Kerry, what's that?
07:31It's a rose bush.
07:33Kerry, may I just have the tiniest clipping, please?
07:35No, I prefer...
07:43Yes, well, I won't keep you, Nobby.
07:44Oh, you're not keeping me, Kerry, I'm just taking Miffy for a walk.
07:47Are you?
07:48Yeah, yeah.
07:49Hey, Kerry, have you got a dog?
07:50Perhaps we can go for a walk together.
07:52No.
07:53Any sort of pet at all?
07:55I have a fish.
07:56Is it a Mexican walking fish, Kerry?
07:59I'm afraid, no.
08:01Pity.
08:02Miffy loves walking.
08:03She gets so excited when I say, Miffy, do you want to go walkies?
08:06Hmm, I can imagine.
08:08Still, I don't have to tell you that I imagine you get pretty excited when you go interviewees,
08:12leaping about on your hind legs, yelping, urinating all over the floor.
08:17Yeah, well, I think that's all we've got time for this afternoon.
08:21Kerry, how rude of me, I haven't introduced you to Miffy.
08:24Miffy!
08:24Yeah.
08:25Miffy!
08:27Miffy!
08:28Miffy!
08:29Oh, Kerry, I'm so sorry.
08:31I'll get her back.
08:31Hang on a sec.
08:57Come on, Miffy!
08:58Time to go to the event.
09:00Come on, Miffy!
09:16Hi, I'm Kathy Scanlon.
09:18These days you can't be too careful when it comes to personal safety.
09:22Statistics prove that over a billion people get bashed up every second,
09:26and that's just in your street.
09:29It's a jungle out there.
09:33You eat, I'll get eaten.
09:36So be a winner, not a dinner,
09:37and buy my easy-to-use instructional video on the art of self-defence,
09:42and you will never be a victim again.
09:45Bureau number one.
09:47Strike first.
09:48Statistics prove that 12 out of 13 cases could have been reversed if the victim had attacked first.
10:04Oh, he won't try missing with me again in a hurry.
10:16So rule number two.
10:18Remember that you have a much more chance of overcoming your assailant
10:21if he is smaller and weaker than you are,
10:24and you are stronger and bigger than he is.
10:30Phew.
10:32That's a close one.
10:33Now remember one of the key elements to self-defence is surprise,
10:38which brings me to rule number three.
10:45Three.
11:09Hello and welcome to the movie show.
11:11Tonight, Sylvester Stallone, Lauren Bacall,
11:14Gerard Depardieu, Martin Scorsese, and Gina Lola-Brigida.
11:17Hugh Grant, Elizabeth Hurley, Johnny Depp.
11:20Truly an amazing box of fantails.
11:26I got Steve Visard.
11:37Welcome to the program.
11:39Tonight, on a historic occasion, I'm joined by State Premier Mr Geoff Kennett.
11:43Good evening, Kerry.
11:46Mr Kennett, this is the first time that you've spoken to an IBC current affairs program in five years.
11:52Yes, but I'm not speaking to you as the Premier.
11:55You're not?
11:56No, I'm also the State Minister for the Arts,
11:58and tonight I'm speaking to you in that capacity.
12:00I see, so if I wanted to speak to you as the Premier...
12:03I'd tell you to get stuffed.
12:06...as Minister for the Arts.
12:07Lovely to be on the program.
12:08Yeah, Premier...
12:09Piss off.
12:10Yeah.
12:11Arts Minister.
12:12What can I do for you, Kerry?
12:14Your Conservation Minister, Marie Tien,
12:15has been under intense pressure recently
12:17after the leaking of a pre-election memo
12:19that alerted her to the political risks of the Intergraph affair.
12:22Look, I'm sorry, that's got nothing to do with arts issues.
12:24You're going to have to talk to the Premier about that.
12:26And what do you think the Premier would say?
12:28Are you asking me as the Premier or the Arts Minister?
12:31The Arts Minister.
12:32Well, I'd probably tell you to shove it.
12:34Premier...
12:35Shove it.
12:36See, I told you so.
12:37OK, well, what do you think of Sunset Boulevard?
12:40Oh, I think it's a marvellous theatrical entertainment, Kerry.
12:43I think every Victorian should get out there and see it about 50 times.
12:47Why?
12:48Well, at least then they'd stand a chance of seeing Deborah Byrne in it.
12:51Yeah.
12:51Thanks very much.
12:52OK, I've been talking to the Victorian Minister for the Arts.
12:56Pleasure, Kerry.
12:57And also the Premier.
12:58Plough it out your arse.
13:00LAUGHTER
13:11Who cares if we're slightly flat?
13:15Our fans can handle that.
13:18When they hear us, they're bound to be.
13:21Up their faces on ecstasy.
13:24Blue speed drips and poppers too.
13:27Vanilla essence and modelling glue.
13:29The songs they play in the dancing clubs
13:33All sound like cheers if you're not a song drunk.
13:36Over and over, is it really worth the bother?
13:41I think lyrics when our fans are ecky heads that completely burnt out.
13:48Over and over, if they heard us when they're sober,
13:53they would probably despise us.
13:56Ecky heads, we really owe it to you!
14:03Club owners get very mad.
14:06They say that drugs are bad.
14:09Which is quite ironic when you see the kids that they let in.
14:15Magazines are just the same.
14:18They say they're not to blame.
14:49So why do so many friends appear?
15:04Happy anniversary, darling.
15:13Signor, signore, welcome to my restaurant of the passions.
15:19For the entertainment of your listening pleasure,
15:22I would like to play you a short song of love.
15:45Well, that's terrific, isn't it?
15:59The Spanish is so passionate.
16:02Oh, yeah, well, they're famous for it, aren't they?
16:03Oh, I love Spanish food.
16:05Well, let's order then.
16:16The paella looks really good.
16:18Yeah, paella, yeah, that sounds great.
16:31That's lovely.
16:39Oh, very authentic.
16:41And expensive.
16:45Oh, no, I couldn't, I can't play.
16:59Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
17:16Alma, hold me, Alma, hold me, Alma, hold me, Alma, look, look, look, look, look, look,
17:43look, look, look, just a moment, please.
17:44Now, look, I'm not going to sit by and watch you seduce my wife, that is just not fair.
17:49I'm terribly sorry, sir. I was forgetting myself.
17:54Juanita!
18:05Now, that's fair.
18:14Now, that's fair.
18:18Now, that's fair.
18:48Well, good evening and howdy-do-dee, I'm Ian Goodings, as seen on TV.
18:52And a special cheerio tonight to young Neil McSweeney,
18:55one of the cameramen here on the news,
18:57who's leaving us tonight all the best to you, Neil.
18:59Thanks, Ian.
19:01And, mate, where are you off, turd?
19:03I'm off to South America, mate, to make snuff movies.
19:06LAUGHTER
19:09Well, great to see our news service working as a training ground for young talent.
19:13It really is a good thing.
19:14Look, do you mind me asking,
19:16how did they come to choose you for that sort of work, Neil?
19:19Well, they needed people who had experience in filming someone dying.
19:24LAUGHTER
19:30Trade roll, trade roll.
19:32But making news today,
19:34a Sydney court decides to award £350,000 for a severe facial disfigurement.
19:39Get your entries in now.
19:41LAUGHTER
19:42And also ahead tonight,
19:43a satanic cult's bizarre sexual practices with mules,
19:46a story the whole family should watch.
19:49LAUGHTER
19:49But first, this lot.
19:51Well, it may be cricket season in England now,
19:54but already the rigorous pre-season soccer training has begun.
19:57And so, in preparation for next season,
20:00more than 60,000 excited soccer fans
20:02crammed into Wembley Stadium this afternoon
20:05and beat the crap out of each other.
20:07LAUGHTER
20:09Well, opposition leader Kim Beasley
20:11has told his front bench
20:12that he will sack any of them
20:13who leak information to the media,
20:16according to a member of his front bench
20:17who called us today.
20:19LAUGHTER
20:21And scientists today have confirmed
20:23that the El Nino effect
20:24is responsible for what is being described
20:27as the worst dry spell ever in my sex life.
20:31LAUGHTER
20:34Well, is Pauline Hanson really as stupid
20:37as some people make her out to be?
20:40LAUGHTER
20:44Well, according to a study
20:45by the Drugs and Alcohol Foundation,
20:47marijuana is still the second biggest cash crop
20:50in New South Wales,
20:50where Australian primary industry
20:52once rode to success on the sheep's back,
20:54now it's vegging out on the couch eating twisties.
20:57LAUGHTER
20:59Well, if you're in Sydney today,
21:01you could have been forgiven
21:02for thinking it was summer,
21:03particularly if you're the sort of witless dickhead
21:05who doesn't even know what season it is.
21:08LAUGHTER
21:11Well, they've been popular in America for years now,
21:13and now they're coming to Australia.
21:16No, not the Ku Klux Klan,
21:18but a chain of rextrons known as Bazumas.
21:21And joining me now is our food and wine critic,
21:23Jamison Critchley.
21:24Jamo, thanks for joining us.
21:26Now, give us the good oil on Bazumas.
21:28Bazumas, Ian, is about fine food, fine wine,
21:32and fine jubbly-bubblies.
21:33It is about exquisite nouveau cuisine
21:37served by women with huge norks in skimpy clothing.
21:40LAUGHTER
21:40Yes, look, it looks a brilliant concept.
21:43Where did you get this ingenious idea?
21:45Uh, from eating pizza while watching porn movies.
21:48LAUGHTER
21:50Really?
21:51See, that's never occurred to me.
21:54But what about the claims of sexism, Jamison?
21:57Is this demeaning to women?
21:58No, that's the great thing, Ian.
22:00It's not.
22:02Isn't it?
22:02No.
22:04Because some people have said that it is.
22:06Yes, yes, but you see,
22:07it actually isn't.
22:10LAUGHTER
22:12Right, well, that's good to know, isn't it?
22:13And, Jono, I understand you yourself
22:16will be opening a male version of Bazuma's restaurants.
22:19That's right, Ian.
22:21And what will they be called?
22:24LAUGHTER
22:29Nackers.
22:32Nackers, you say?
22:34Oh, yes.
22:34And what's the idea behind Nackers?
22:36Well, Ian, it is similar to Bazuma's.
22:40Yeah?
22:40The same food, the same decor,
22:43but in lieu of women with prominent...
22:46LAUGHTER
22:47..or indeed prominent Bazumas,
22:50we'll have men with prominent testicles, Ian.
22:54LAUGHTER
22:54Right, and do you think that that's actually going to improve anyone's appetite?
22:58LAUGHTER
22:58Well, you don't find it a mouth-watering concept, Ian?
23:01LAUGHTER
23:02I'm shocked.
23:03Well, no, put it this way,
23:05I won't be eating the apricot chicken.
23:07LAUGHTER
23:10I'll tell you that for nothing.
23:12So, there you are.
23:13If your family enjoys eating their food
23:15while they're staring at women's brecks or men's genitals,
23:19try Bazumas and Nackers restaurants.
23:22LAUGHTER
23:22Well, that's it from the new set,
23:24but just a reminder that you can catch me tomorrow night
23:26at Eduardo's Tavern
23:27singing all your favourite tunes from the 50s and 60s.
23:30It's not a concert.
23:32I'll actually be lying rat-faced on the toilet floor.
23:35But until then, goodnight.
23:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
23:53I love it.
23:54So do I.
23:55Superb direction.
23:56Magnificent design.
23:57Beautifully shot.
23:58Wonderfully edited.
23:59With a couple of really magnificent lead performances.
24:02But enough about us, what about the movie?
24:04What a crap.
24:05LAUGHTER
24:09And welcome back.
24:11Well, we here at Australia's Most Wanted
24:13feel that we've been of great service
24:15to the police forces of Australia.
24:18And now it's time that other professions
24:20benefited from the wonderful assistance
24:22our programme can offer.
24:24So, it gives me very great pleasure
24:26to welcome Dr Andrew Abbott to the programme.
24:30Thank you, Roger.
24:30And first up, Doctor, a very tricky heart operation.
24:34Yes, that's right, Roger.
24:35In Operation Double Bypass, we need to close two valves,
24:39maintain a steady flow of blood to the rest of the body,
24:41then complete the intricate bypass procedure,
24:43all on a 75-year-old haemophiliac with a rare blood type.
24:47So, how can the public help, Doctor?
24:49Well, if there's anyone out there who has any information whatsoever
24:52on how to actually achieve this,
24:54how to actually do this,
24:55or if there's anyone out there who thinks they might like to have a crack at that themselves,
24:58no matter how insignificant their motor skills may be,
25:01they should contact us immediately.
25:02All right, and there's still no information on the common cold?
25:06Unfortunately not, Roger.
25:08As you can see on your screens now,
25:10the cold virus attacks other cells in the body and severely weakens them.
25:14Now, I must emphasise that this is a re-enactment.
25:16These are not the actual cells involved in cold symptoms.
25:19They are hired from an agency.
25:21Well, we're running over time, Doctor,
25:23so thank you and good luck.
25:26And coming up, we cross live to the Royal Perth Hospital,
25:29where a young man with a mystery illness has about 15 seconds to live.
25:35Can you identify his life-threatening illness in time?
25:39Find out after these messages.
25:43APPLAUSE
25:59Controversial MP Pauline Hanson
26:01has adopted a more liberal stance
26:02on the subject of gay issues and Asian immigration.
26:06Recently, she disavowed half of her controversial book,
26:09Pauline Hanson, the truth,
26:11claiming she had been inaccurately quoted.
26:13Well, we had invited the editor of the Sydney Morning Herald
26:16and the Financial Review to interview Miss Hanson,
26:18but they were both washing their hair.
26:21So, I will be conducting the interview myself.
26:24Miss Hanson, welcome to the program.
26:26Hello.
26:29Well, it's really quite a change of heart for you, isn't it?
26:32Not at all.
26:33I've never been anti-gay.
26:34That's just hearsay.
26:36Hearsay?
26:36It's like that party game
26:38where you whisper something in somebody's ear
26:40and that person whispers it to the next person and so forth
26:42and at the end it comes out sounding different.
26:46You mean Chinese whispers?
26:48I wouldn't have used that term myself.
26:52But permit me to demonstrate
26:53with the help of my three party colleagues,
26:55Derek, Carl and Reg.
26:58Now, I'm going to whisper something in Derek's ear
27:00and he'll whisper it to Carl
27:01and he'll whisper it to Reg
27:03and we'll see how it comes out.
27:12I hate poofs.
27:16And is that what you said, Mrs. Hanson?
27:19No.
27:19What I actually said was
27:21I have no problem with homosexuals.
27:24Many of my closest friends are gay
27:26and how they choose to live their own lives
27:28is their own business.
27:29And yet it came out as
27:31I hate poofs.
27:33Tragic, isn't it?
27:36Yes.
27:36I notice your stance on Asian immigration
27:38has also shifted.
27:40Well, here again I've been misrepresented.
27:42Observe.
27:51Send the chinky-chinks back to their own
27:52chinky-chink country, chop-chop.
27:55And is that what you said, Mrs. Hanson?
27:58Alas, no.
28:00What I said was
28:01Asians add a rich cultural diversity to our country
28:04and we would be the poorer for their absence.
28:06It's amazing how words can be changed, isn't it?
28:10Miss Hanson,
28:11are you merely changing your stance on these issues
28:13because of the backlash
28:14by many of your supporters
28:15against your publication?
28:16No.
28:17I'm a victim of hearsay.
28:19I see.
28:20Well, do you mind if I try this game?
28:22Not at all.
28:37I'm a bigoted moron.
28:40Well, that's exactly what I said.
28:42Oh, look, if you're not going to play properly,
28:43I'm going home.
28:45If you find the brand of toilet paper
28:48you currently use
28:50irritating,
28:51then switch to the soft and sensitive alternative.
28:55One Nation Toilet Paper.
29:01Available in the right only.
29:19Having covered 14,000 kilometres of really rough terrain
29:23over the last six weeks
29:25and finally reaching the Indian Ocean,
29:27I was ready to set off again
29:29on the next stage of my world safari.
29:34My good friend Tamara,
29:36Tamara, however,
29:36was staying by the sea
29:37to pat the dolphins
29:39and to find her centre.
29:41I thought I had found a centre
29:43a number of times,
29:44but she said it was different.
29:47We had become very close
29:48and the thought that I might never see her again
29:51made me really sad.
29:54Then, I came across an old school friend,
29:57Denise,
29:58who agreed to come with me
29:59on my search
30:00for the Naked Breasts tribe.
30:02It was an amazing coincidence,
30:04but it was a good one.
30:06Stop him!
30:07The Naked Breasts tribe
30:09is a tribe of women
30:10who survive on the money
30:12they get for allowing
30:13their naked breasts
30:14to be filmed for documentaries.
30:16I knew that finding
30:18the Naked Breasts tribe
30:19in the first place
30:20we set up the camera
30:22was too good to be true.
30:24We had actually stumbled
30:25across the Cover Up Your Body tribe,
30:27a tribe not very popular
30:29amongst documentary makers.
30:32However,
30:33I got them all to sign
30:34what are called release forms,
30:35giving us permission
30:36to use the footage of them
30:38in my documentary.
30:39This was a lesson
30:40I had learned the hard way.
30:42World Safaris 5, 6, 7 and 8
30:45had been spent going back
30:46and finding everyone
30:47who's been in the first
30:48four world safaris
30:49and getting them
30:50to sign their release form.
30:53As an extra precaution,
30:55I got them to sign
30:56another release form,
30:57giving us permission
30:58to use the footage
30:59of them signing
31:00the first release form.
31:01It was a lot of paperwork,
31:03but it was good.
31:05Soon,
31:06we were back on the road.
31:08Denise and I
31:08were getting on
31:09just like old times.
31:10I knew we were going to shag.
31:13Become good friends.
31:15Like my sponsor,
31:16Keltex,
31:17she was good company.
31:18Then I was sailing
31:19single-handedly
31:20across the Pacific.
31:22Boy,
31:23that was hard
31:23because I didn't have a boat.
31:26Then,
31:27disaster.
31:29A dangerous pothole
31:30had smashed
31:30our front axle.
31:32I was so angry.
31:33Now,
31:34we were stuck here
31:35miles from civilization
31:36with no way
31:37of getting help
31:38and no sign
31:39of the naked breast stride.
31:42We could be stuck
31:43here for months.
31:46No food or water,
31:48days passed slowly.
31:50We couldn't last
31:51much longer.
31:52To their credit,
31:53the boys filming us
31:54were totally professional
31:55and refused to share
31:57any of their supplies
31:58with us.
31:58It was getting
31:59really desperate.
32:01Could this be it?
32:02Boy,
32:03it sure is hot.
32:04That sun could kill us
32:05if we don't find some shade.
32:07Let's take our clothes off
32:08and get under the truck.
32:10It's a beautiful idea,
32:11Albie.
32:12Would I die here
32:13in the middle of nowhere
32:14and able to subsequently
32:15do this voiceover
32:16and complete this documentary?
32:19Find out after the break.
32:33Well,
32:33a marvellous game
32:34here tonight.
32:35Unfortunately,
32:35as we told you earlier,
32:37Dipper has been taken ill,
32:38so currently standing
32:39in for him
32:40at short notice
32:40is the art critic
32:42and the documentary filmmaker
32:43Philip Quist.
32:44Philip,
32:45I didn't know
32:45you were also a sports fan.
32:48I hate sport.
32:49I detest it.
32:49I'm doing this
32:50under sufferance.
32:51I want everybody
32:52to know it there.
32:52I don't find this
32:53the least bit amusing.
32:55Well,
32:56I understand
32:56you've got
32:57young Troy Gardner
32:58there with you.
32:58Yes,
32:59apparently I have,
32:59Sandy.
33:00Well,
33:01congratulations,
33:01Troy,
33:02on a superlative performance.
33:04For one of such
33:05tender years,
33:05you played with aplomb,
33:06surety and guile.
33:08Yeah,
33:09well,
33:09you know,
33:09it's good to have a win.
33:11Really,
33:11that is surprising.
33:12Who would have thought
33:13that winning
33:13would be enjoyable?
33:15All right,
33:15Troy,
33:16given the widely acknowledged
33:17evenness of the competition,
33:18how would you
33:19appraise your team's
33:20chances of participating
33:21in this year's
33:22final series?
33:23Yeah,
33:24well,
33:24you know,
33:25hopefully we'll have
33:25a good year
33:26and hopefully
33:27we'll play some finals.
33:29Yes,
33:30well,
33:30I think you can take it
33:30as read that you hope
33:31to get in the finals
33:32and play in the finals,
33:32but I was wondering,
33:33in vain,
33:34apparently,
33:35how you rate
33:35your chances
33:36of success there.
33:42you played on a half-back
33:44flank today,
33:45apparently.
33:46What's your preferred
33:47position?
33:48Oh,
33:49you know,
33:49I'll play pretty much
33:50anywhere a coach
33:50tells me to play.
33:51well,
33:51obviously,
33:52I mean,
33:52obviously you play
33:52where you're told to play,
33:54but let's pretend
33:54for a millisecond
33:55you possess a mind
33:56of your own.
34:03Well?
34:04What was your question?
34:06What is your preferred position?
34:08Half-back flank.
34:11Right,
34:12Troy,
34:12you spent much
34:14of last season
34:14with a knee reconstruction.
34:16It must have been
34:17very satisfying for you
34:18to have been selected
34:19so early in the draft.
34:20Oh,
34:21yeah.
34:23You've been described,
34:24not by me,
34:25as one of the most
34:26popular members
34:26of the team.
34:27To what do you put
34:28down this success?
34:29I mean,
34:29how have you been accepted
34:30so early by the other
34:31members of the team?
34:32Oh,
34:32you know,
34:33I reckon it's a question
34:34for the other blokes.
34:35No,
34:35no,
34:35no,
34:35I've put it to you,
34:36I've asked you,
34:37so ergo,
34:37it's a question for you.
34:39No,
34:40I reckon that's a question
34:41for the other blokes.
34:41Look,
34:41I wrote the question,
34:42I know who it's for.
34:43If I wanted to ask
34:44the other blokes
34:45in the team,
34:45I'd go off and ask them,
34:46wouldn't I?
34:47Hey?
34:47You think I don't know my job?
34:48You think I go around
34:49asking the wrong questions
34:50to the wrong people?
34:50Hey,
34:50Mother Teresa,
34:51how's the groin going?
34:53Listen to me.
34:55Listen to me.
34:56How is it that you
34:57have been accepted
34:58so early
34:59by the other members
34:59of the team?
35:01Don't know.
35:03Right,
35:03go and stand over there.
35:04Go and stand over there.
35:06Conduct the rest
35:06of this interview
35:07with the wall.
35:09Go to the wall.
35:10How do you think
35:10you'll go next week
35:11in next week's game?
35:13Oh.
35:16Tremendous.
35:16Fantastic.
35:17Well,
35:17back to you,
35:18Sandy.
35:18That's all from me.
35:20Started slowly
35:20but ended lively,
35:21I think.
35:29Oh,
35:30somebody's got their
35:31mobile on.
35:31Yeah.
35:34I can't believe
35:34he's actually answering it.
35:36He's probably a doctor.
35:37Oh,
35:38Barry,
35:38he's sleazebag.
35:40How are you?
35:41Yeah,
35:42good.
35:42Listen,
35:42mate,
35:43can't talk them
35:43at the flex.
35:44Yeah,
35:45they are presumed
35:46indecent.
35:47Yeah,
35:47not bad,
35:48yeah.
35:48Listen,
35:49listen,
35:49listen,
35:49listen.
35:50What happened
35:50to you the other
35:50night with that
35:51young lass?
35:52Oh,
35:53come on.
35:54Mate,
35:55I know you.
35:56Anything in a skirt,
35:57eh?
35:59your sister.
36:01Sorry.
36:02Listen,
36:03listen,
36:03there's some good
36:03lookers here.
36:04Oh,
36:05yeah.
36:05Matter of fact,
36:06a very attractive
36:07young lady sitting
36:08in front of me
36:08right now.
36:10Oh,
36:10yeah.
36:10And get this,
36:11as I'm walking
36:12down the aisle
36:13going to my seat,
36:13right,
36:14she's giving me
36:15the eye.
36:16Oh,
36:16yeah.
36:17Yeah,
36:18yeah,
36:18yeah,
36:18she's with her,
36:18Blake,
36:19yeah.
36:19Oh,
36:19I don't know.
36:20Well,
36:21he looks a bit
36:21like a,
36:22I don't know what
36:23he looks like,
36:23a bit of a
36:24dropkick,
36:24really.
36:25Oh,
36:25I can't see.
36:26Whoa!
36:27Ha-ha!
36:29Mate,
36:29Arnie just came in
36:30and gave it
36:31to the three of them.
36:32Ha-ha!
36:32God!
36:33Yeah,
36:34yeah,
36:34yeah,
36:34yeah,
36:34I better go.
36:35Yeah,
36:36good.
36:36Call you later,
36:36all right?
36:37Hasta la vista,
36:38baby.
36:40Look,
36:40you didn't really
36:41give him the honour,
36:42did you?
36:42Of course not.
36:51Hello.
36:53Yeah,
36:54mate,
36:54I've missed
36:54the last five minutes.
36:55What's been going on?
36:57What was it?
37:05Oh,
37:06hang on.
37:07I think I see
37:08a problem here.
37:18You got a cab on.
37:23Linda,
37:24what?
37:25You know,
37:27what?
37:28What are you doing
37:29idiot Pizza Hut?
37:30We're supermodels.
37:32New from Pizza Hut,
37:33a fantastic meal
37:34made just for the
37:35supermodel in you.
37:36It's Pizza Hut's
37:37Alfalfa Sprout.
37:46I'm full.
37:47What's this called again?
37:49Eating?
37:50It's not bad.
38:08Well,
38:09ladies and gentlemen,
38:10welcome to the
38:10new majesty room
38:11here at the
38:12Crown Casino.
38:13As usual,
38:14when we open a new
38:15room here at the
38:15Crown Casino,
38:16we ask for an
38:17official blessing.
38:18Please welcome
38:19the Reverend
38:20Washington Lee
38:21Lincoln.
38:29Praise the Lord.
38:31Praise the Lord.
38:33Brothers and
38:33sisters,
38:34I want to tell you
38:35all a story.
38:36Tell it like it is.
38:37It's a story
38:38about an ordinary
38:39man,
38:40a man not unlike
38:42you or me.
38:43This man,
38:44he came to my
38:45church last Sunday.
38:46He did.
38:47He did.
38:48This man,
38:50he lost everything.
38:51Everything he
38:52held dear to him,
38:53his wife,
38:54his child,
38:55his job,
38:56he lost it all.
38:58He gambled it all
38:59at the casino.
39:02All that man had
39:04was one single dollar.
39:07One dollar.
39:09And this man asked me,
39:10he said to me,
39:10Reverend,
39:11how may I regain
39:13these things that
39:13I've lost?
39:14How may I make
39:15this up?
39:16This terrible thing
39:17to my wife,
39:18to my child.
39:20How will I make up
39:21for everything I
39:21have done?
39:22Hallelujah.
39:24The brothers and
39:25sisters,
39:25you know what
39:26happened?
39:26What?
39:27I'll tell you.
39:28He took that one
39:29dollar and he
39:30bet that dollar
39:31on number 22.
39:34And you know
39:34what?
39:35That silver ball
39:36rolled round and
39:38round and around.
39:39and it came up
39:40on 32.
39:42That's right.
39:43And that man,
39:44he did weep.
39:45And he did well.
39:47I said to that man,
39:49hey man,
39:50do not weep
39:51for yourself.
39:52For your dollar
39:54has entered
39:55the kingdom
39:56of the Lord.
39:57Praise the Lord.
40:00Praise the Lord.
40:01Praise the Lord.
40:03Come on,
40:06let's play.
40:07Come on,
40:08let's play.
40:10Here's what we'll do.
40:13Here's what we'll do.
40:15We'll get this state.
40:18We'll get this state.
40:20Out of the boot.
40:23Out of the boot.
40:27We're so in debt.
40:30We're so in debt.
40:32So here's the deal.
40:35Oh, here's the deal.
40:38We'll throw our cash
40:40at the ruling wheel.
40:44If that seems wrong,
40:46who gives the time?
40:50Cause it won't be me
40:51who's gonna take that long
40:53if we're down and out.
40:56And the unemployed
41:00We'll put this state
41:02along the floor
41:04We'll get this place
41:06Right back on track
41:09We'll bid the lot
41:10On the green plan
41:14And it's gonna be
41:17Yeah, it's gonna be
41:21All right
41:30Yeah, praise the Lord.
41:32Let me see you stand up, people.
41:34Let me see you stand up.
41:35I'm coming out to get you.
41:37I want you all to rise up.
41:39And those seats stand up now.
41:41Stand up.
41:42Up.
41:43Come on now.
41:44Everyone, up out of your seats.
41:45I want you to dig deep
41:47Dig deep into those wallets,
41:48ladies and gentlemen.
41:49I want you to give me
41:50every penny you've got.
41:51I want your plug in place,
41:52son, you understand that?
41:53I want your children.
41:55Come on now.
41:55Come on us.
41:56Come here.
41:57Follow me.
41:58Follow me to the casino.
41:59Come on.
42:00Yeah, I mean it.
42:01Come on.
42:02Come on, everyone.
42:04Everyone.
42:05Come on, children.
42:06Reach in your wallets.
42:08Dig out those notes.
42:09Dig out those chords.
42:10Give them all to us.
42:11And sing along
42:12to the heavenly chords.
42:16One, two, three.
42:17Come on, let's play.
42:20Here's what we do.
42:22We'll get this thing
42:24out of the room.
42:26We're so in there.
42:29So here's the deal.
42:31I'm going to throw
42:32I can't have that blue in here.
42:35Everybody.
42:36If that's you.
42:38Who gives a talk?
42:41Cause it won't be me.
42:42Come on, baby.
42:43Make a lot.
42:44Too many times.
42:45There's a doubt now.
42:47And beyond the floor.
42:50We're going to find this thing
42:52along along along along along along.
42:54We'll get this place ready.
42:56We'll get back on track.
42:59We'll get the luck
43:00and the rain flash.
43:03And it's going to be.
43:05Yeah, it's gonna be
43:09Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
43:14Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh
43:19Whoa-oh-oh-oh
43:21Okay, thank you very much.
43:25Praise the Lord.
43:27Praise the Lord.
43:28Praise the Lord.
43:31Praise the Lord.
43:36Praise the Lord.
43:37Praise the Lord.
43:43Praise the Lord.
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