- 5 hafta önce
Ramazan Sevinci 8. Bölüm | Huriye Martı & Müjde Yahşi (26 Şubat 2026)
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00:00:00Bismillah, Bismillah, Bismillah, Bismillahirrahmanirrahim, Bismillah.
00:00:17Dear viewers, today we will tell you the story of a nation that rose on the shoulders of one family.
00:00:25The place is Mecca, the sand is hot, the stones are scorching, power is in the hands of those called nobles, and the weak have no rights, there is no justice, and they are the powerful.
00:00:40They don't own anything, they have no say.
00:00:43And there is a family in this city: mother Sumeyye, father Yasir, son Ammar.
00:00:49While they were living under these conditions, they heard a saying from Muhammad al-Amin, who said that God is one.
00:00:57They embraced this saying, believed in it, and it took root in their hearts.
00:01:03Of course, the people of Mecca, especially those who were supposedly noble, did not forgive this.
00:01:09They laid them down on the ground and tortured them in the scorching sand deserts.
00:01:15They loaded them with hot stones and tortured them.
00:01:21They resisted.
00:01:23But Ammar was a very young child.
00:01:27He couldn't bear the torture, the cruelty, and reluctantly, without his heart agreeing, had to repeat their words of denial.
00:01:39As soon as they released him, he went straight to the Prophet.
00:01:44He reported the situation to our Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).
00:01:48"He is the master of the universe," he said, "O Ammar, how was your heart at that moment?"
00:01:54O Messenger of Allah, by Allah, he was full of faith.
00:01:57He said, "Even if they inflict this suffering on you, you should still continue."
00:02:01But her mother, Sümeyye, did not accept their denial, nor did she repeat it, not even in words.
00:02:09And they plunged a spear into his heart, and martyred him.
00:02:14Sümeyye left behind a son who has a stance, a character, and the fortitude to sacrifice his life for truth and belief.
00:02:24He was a son who had possessions.
00:02:25Indeed, Ammar later became a key figure and influential figure in the rise of the Islamic community.
00:02:34Sir, tonight we also wanted to show that family is not just an institution that breathes the same air and lives under the same roof, but that it shares the same truth, the same resilience, the same...
00:02:45We will try to convey that there is a unity of hearts and minds that shares the struggle.
00:02:50We will be discussing this matter with you and our guests this evening.
00:02:54In our studio, we will have Professor Dr. Huriye Martı, a member of the High Council of Religious Affairs, and psychologist and clinical psychologist Müjde Yahşi.
00:03:05Please don't leave us.
00:12:02They experience different kinds of relationships, they exist within human communities, but none of these are inherently permanent needs.
00:12:12It begins and ends, it doesn't even extend to the apocalypse.
00:12:16Yet family is a natural human need.
00:12:19Very fundamentally, being a human means existing within a family, being a part of a family,
00:12:25They are born with a code to carry the legacy left by previous generations to those who come after them.
00:12:33Therefore, we are bound to our family by certain ties.
00:12:37These are both emotional and mental bonds, and these family ties, this commitment, are indispensable to us,
00:12:46Because it extends to the afterlife as well, we cannot view the family as merely an ordinary social group.
00:12:53The family is the most valuable union, composed of people bound together primarily by a moral connection and subsequently by a legal one.
00:13:05We can say that.
00:13:07Because lately we have been confronted with certain ideologies that target this value in a way that somewhat obscures it, prevents it from being seen,
00:13:19Perhaps we've actually become obsessed with the treasure we possess.
00:13:25We need to lift that cloud of fog, that smoke, that dust a little and look again at the family's radiant, treasure-like side.
00:13:36There is.
00:13:36So, have we become blind to the happiness, advantages, and beauty that family provides us?
00:13:44Exactly. In fact, my esteemed professor very consciously defines the family as a burden, full of negativity and responsibilities.
00:13:55Therefore, we are under the profound influence of an ideology that advises those who wish to be free and relieved of their burdens to distance themselves from their families.
00:14:06This ideology insists that if you want to be free, live as you please, spend everything you earn as you wish, and be free from responsibility,
00:14:17You must break free from family ties.
00:14:19Family ties, while imposing responsibilities, also bring honor and peace of mind.
00:14:26By ignoring the aspect that makes people stronger, and portraying family ties as shackles,
00:14:33Because it is portrayed as if breaking free from these shackles and distancing oneself from family leads to happiness,
00:14:41We are a little bit like family, that which is actually good for us, which is inherently good,
00:14:47We have become unable to see that moral foundation, imbued with mercy, compassion, love, and respect, in the way God created and in the way God intended.
00:14:59We need to get away from that dust cloud for a while.
00:15:02It seems like the problems that are always present in the family are being brought up.
00:15:06I find it a bit similar to how newsworthy events are always in the headlines, right?
00:15:11It's as if there are always problems in the country, something is happening every day, but there are so many wonderful things happening.
00:15:17It's as if the family's problems are being highlighted in a way that overshadows the positive aspects within the family.
00:15:23Yes, both problems and responsibilities.
00:15:26So, in a way, they are actually avoiding responsibility, only prioritizing their own interests, their own benefit.
00:15:34The modern human being is individualistic, introverted, and pursues their own pleasures.
00:15:41in this postmodern era, those who absolutely do not want a responsibility like family
00:15:46And they are under the influence of someone who sees the family as a tangled mess of problems.
00:15:51However, those responsibilities transform into wonderful blessings that we carry into the future.
00:15:57Absolutely. I'd like to go back to Ms. Müjde.
00:16:00Ms. Müjde, we discussed the problems.
00:16:03You are now in the clinical phase of this work as well.
00:16:07Because problems sometimes get so big, we're only human, we're fallible.
00:16:12It is necessary to consult an expert to solve these problems.
00:16:17When you try to find solutions like these for your family, you also encounter many problems.
00:16:25So what kinds of problems are most commonly discussed?
00:16:28Which part of the family has the most problems?
00:16:33This is actually one of the topics that has been discussed more frequently lately.
00:16:37In other words, we're not acting in accordance with our roles.
00:16:40Motherhood and fatherhood are sacred.
00:16:42And this is something parents should never forget.
00:16:45When raising children, we get caught up in the flow of time and life at that moment.
00:16:51Amidst the hustle and bustle of the world.
00:16:53While we become engrossed in our children's needs, their schooling, and their future, we forget ourselves, neglect our own needs, and what do we do with our tolerance levels?
00:17:06We may not be able to control it.
00:17:07We struggle with anger management.
00:17:10We are forgetting how to communicate with our children.
00:17:12We often forget that a child's cognitive development, their brain development, is completely different from an adult's brain development.
00:17:22Often, when I first speak with my clients, I say, "You know, a child's brain is completely different."
00:17:29First, let me explain the child's brain to you.
00:17:31I know you're having a hard time controlling yourself, life is wearing you down, you have a lot of problems, I'm aware of all that.
00:17:40I know it's very difficult, it's not easy.
00:17:42We are mothers and fathers too, but the person you're talking to is just a child, not capable of understanding what you're saying.
00:17:51It will take quite some time for his cognitive abilities to mature.
00:17:57No, I hear this a lot: people say, "Take your children aside and talk to them like you would an adult."
00:18:03For example, doesn't this contradict what you said at the time?
00:18:05Let's talk to them as if they're adults, but let's not forget that they are small.
00:18:10Because their brain development is such that, while we might think 18 is the driving age, they're allowed to do everything at 18.
00:18:17Young people are saying, "When I turn 18, nobody will be able to interfere with me anymore."
00:18:20I'll do what I want, I'll leave, I'll go back to my own home, and I'll be an adult.
00:18:27Now, I'll elaborate here: our young people see reaching adulthood as a milestone, a point of maturity.
00:18:35But that's not enough.
00:18:36I first explain to parents that the prefrontal cortex, the front part of the brain, is not yet fully developed in children.
00:18:42Because there is a peak level, especially during adolescence.
00:18:45Hormones also rise and fluctuate like that, you know how they say, or we say, "Was I like this when I was younger?"
00:18:55Adolescence, adolescence, they keep saying.
00:18:57Wasn't there puberty in our time? Is this puberty something new?
00:19:00But there's something else...
00:19:01Our time and their time are different.
00:19:04Generation gap.
00:19:05We will continue.
00:19:06We will listen to the sounds of a street for a short while.
00:19:10Then we'll continue from where we left off.
00:19:12Dear viewers, let's hear what our streets are telling us.
00:19:22Solitude belongs only to God.
00:19:24If we are to be human beings, we will have spouses, children, children, children, and the warmth of family.
00:19:31But it is through eating or helping each other that the meaning of being together truly emerges.
00:19:37It's not just about consuming something yourself, but also about being surrounded by those in need, those who require help, or friends and family, of course.
00:19:48It also has other virtues, advantages, and beauties.
00:19:51I have three grandchildren.
00:19:52Here are five more on the new road, God willing.
00:19:53Very good.
00:19:54Eating together is a completely different experience.
00:19:56Ramadan is a beautiful and blessed month in itself.
00:19:59And when this is combined with the family, a very beautiful picture emerges.
00:20:06Breaking the fast alone and breaking it in a crowded place have completely different flavors, rewards, and tastes.
00:20:14Therefore, how fortunate are those who know the joy of Ramadan, who experience it to the fullest, who help the poor, who lend a helping hand to someone, and who appreciate the value of Ramadan.
00:20:26To those who can truly live.
00:20:27One of the most important dynamics that sustains Turkish society is the family.
00:20:33The stronger the family, the stronger the society.
00:20:37The more devout and united a family is, the more united and cohesive the country will be.
00:20:45When Ramadan arrives, the importance of family becomes even more crucial.
00:20:52Because in our current society, it is only at iftar time in the evening that families can gather around the table together.
00:21:04Therefore, in today's digital age, we have unfortunately directed our youth and children too much towards this digital age.
00:21:16Ramadan is also an opportunity for us on this occasion.
00:21:25Yes sir, we have also received this assessment from the street.
00:21:32They also tried to explain to us, in their own words, the importance of family and the events that cause problems within families.
00:21:43Of course, Ms. Müjda also mentioned a generation gap earlier.
00:21:49If you'd like, we can continue from there, sir.
00:21:52So, generational conflict has existed throughout history.
00:21:55This is unavoidable.
00:21:57But today, with this new generation and the constantly evolving innovations and changes brought about by the modern age, these conflicts seem to have disappeared as well.
00:22:08It turned everything upside down.
00:22:09Say what?
00:22:10Yes, perhaps, as you say, there have never been such profound differences between generations in history.
00:22:17Generational differences are a very natural thing.
00:22:19That change and transformation is something to be expected in the course of life.
00:22:24But for the first time, there are such profound differences between generations.
00:22:29And we've reached a point where a generation gap has begun to emerge even among our own children.
00:22:35A difference has emerged between our older and younger children in terms of the needs, expectations, and realities of the world they were born into.
00:22:46These differences have now become very challenging for families.
00:22:51Because many of us actually enjoy taking on the roles dictated by a family structure rooted in tradition, customs, and habits.
00:23:04They also present expectations of the other party regarding them, but the conditions of our time, the generational shift, have changed so much that traditional values are no longer acceptable.
00:23:15Unfortunately, we seem to have strayed far from the roles, expectations, and even the dreams of tradition when considering the realities of the world we live in.
00:23:26And this fundamentally affects the difference between these young people and their families.
00:23:35Unfortunately, we are faced with a family environment today where finding common ground has become very difficult.
00:23:42The opportunities available to children actually allow them to see the whole world and have instant access to the rapid changes and innovations in the world.
00:23:55Giving it away presents a completely different problem.
00:23:59Because in the past, young people who knew their immediate surroundings, relatives, neighborhood, school, and city best, today know a completely different world whose name they don't even know.
00:24:14extraordinary acts of violence occurring in completely different cities in their countries,
00:24:20They are exposed to evil in a way that reveals extraordinary discrepancies, and they are increasingly drifting apart by losing the opportunity to find common ground within the family.
00:24:35This is a really serious problem, in my opinion.
00:24:37The values, expectations, and central issues that parents and children prioritize, which everyone once agreed upon and found common ground in, have all diversified greatly, and this is natural.
00:24:54This situation also greatly increases generational conflict.
00:24:57Of course, we need a solution, Professor Müjde.
00:25:01So these kinds of problems arise from generational conflict, from the innovations brought about by the rapidly passing times, from the changes in the world, and from children's reactions to these things.
00:25:14exposure is very rapid, like instant exposure.
00:25:17What kinds of solutions do you suggest to families, to parents, regarding this issue?
00:25:22I will mostly be talking to you from the clinic.
00:25:25Now, families must remember that children are living in a digital age.
00:25:32Phones and tablets are now in our children's hands; we give them to them at a very young age, and they acquire them in one way or another.
00:25:38If we don't give it to them, they'll see it from their friend next to them.
00:25:40Now, behaving in a way that is appropriate for the child's age – when we say behaving appropriately for the child – means we must not miss their attention at this moment.
00:25:49Right now, the child is most interested in games.
00:25:51Social media.
00:25:53We cannot, and will not, break away from these.
00:25:55So what are we going to do?
00:25:56First and foremost, as families, we need to know what games our children are playing, who they are socializing with, and what they are exposed to in that virtual world.
00:26:06That's why I always say this.
00:26:08Let's prevent it first, protect our children from harm, block the channels, block the poisonous channels, and whatever our children know in the digital world, we should know too.
00:26:22The child is playing a game, but the family doesn't know what kind of content the game contains when they allow it.
00:26:30It seems like an innocent game, but it's anything but innocent.
00:26:34The child can interact with the adult while playing that game.
00:26:38Because the adult takes on the guise of a child, transforming our souls accordingly.
00:26:43She even hides her gender.
00:26:44And a very young child, a 6 or 7-year-old, can start interacting with someone whose identity is unknown.
00:26:53But when you look at them, those games are very cute, colorful, and completely childish.
00:26:58These are online games.
00:27:00We need to know these things.
00:27:01So, if we know that our children are now facing many dangers in the digital environment, first and foremost, we need to take preventive measures.
00:27:10That's the kind of approach we need to take.
00:27:12After that, we shouldn't be prejudiced about his world.
00:27:16In other words, it's prohibitive, directly restrictive when talking to the child.
00:27:21Now, if we go too far here, the child starts lying.
00:27:26He starts doing covert operations.
00:27:28We need to be able to speak the same language, tone the same.
00:27:30To be present in a child's world today, in this digital age.
00:27:34Yes.
00:27:35Of course, family isn't just made up of children.
00:27:39Children are the fruit of our hearts, the apple of our parents' eye; parents dedicate their lives to them.
00:27:50From the beginning, our program aimed to help them establish their own relationships on a solid foundation so that they could solve their own problems, overcome their own challenges, and shape their own lives.
00:28:05It is necessary.
00:28:06Our beliefs and values are very important here as well.
00:28:10If we evaluate male-female relationships based on this value, where do we stand today?
00:28:16What do you recommend?
00:28:18Within a family, both the relationship between spouses and the relationship between parents and children must absolutely be based on moral principles.
00:28:28The Quran itself defines it as a moral institution rather than a legal one.
00:28:35And We have woven bonds of mercy and affection between you, and this is a language that serves as evidence of the existence of God Almighty.
00:28:44He uses it.
00:28:45This is very valuable because family is essentially a space where we face and shoulder life's difficulties, challenges, and hardships together.
00:28:55And there we need patience, we need trust, we need sharing, we need compassion, we need justice.
00:29:06There is.
00:29:06All of this essentially addresses human spiritual needs; the family is a structure built on a moral foundation.
00:29:14Unfortunately, regarding the family, the ideological approaches that have been developed in recent years, in the last 40-50 years, have always portrayed the family as merely a place where physical needs are met.
00:29:28pretending it's the right environment,
00:29:30You no longer need your family to meet your physical needs.
00:29:34So, for your laundry, for your dishes, for your ironing, for your cleaning, all of these are done with industrial support, through outsourcing services.
00:29:44This approach, which essentially says "you can do it, therefore you don't have to bear the burden of your family," has had a particularly devastating effect on young people.
00:29:54Because the family, the parents, are always the people who meet certain physical needs, feed them, give them drinks, and provide for the school's needs.
00:30:04We coded it like this.
00:30:05As Professor Müjde just said, perhaps we have to do all of these things amidst the hustle and bustle of life, and these are tangible things.
00:30:13because they are the most visible,
00:30:16It actually overshadowed our role in meeting emotional and spiritual needs.
00:30:22However, when God speaks of mercy and affection, He is referring to that unconditional love that forms the foundation of the family.
00:30:30Without any calculation or reservation, affection means loving unconditionally and without expecting anything in return.
00:30:39And when he talks about compassion, about offering love without causing pain or harm, he is actually pointing out that spiritual needs can only be met within the family.
00:30:52So, yes, children love playing computer games, they can get engrossed in a game for hours, the screen is what attracts their attention the most.
00:31:00But the need for love still remains.
00:31:03Their needs for maternal care, paternal affection, and expectations of justice within the family are still present.
00:31:13Therefore, our ability to meet these basic needs emotionally and spiritually is related to our moral stance.
00:31:23Perhaps what we have lost today is our weakness in meeting each other's moral and spiritual needs.
00:31:34However, the taste of a meal cooked by your mother is never the same as the taste of a meal you order and bring from outside.
00:31:43The care and attention your mother shows you, the way she combs your hair and pats your back, can never be compared to any service you receive from outside.
00:31:55Therefore, it is important to remember those emotional bonds within the family, both in the relationship between spouses and in the relationship between parents and children.
00:32:08And we need to work harder to show each other attention, love, time, compassion, and kindness.
00:32:19Lately, I think the most serious problem in families is related to forgetting that family is a treasure that fulfills those spiritual needs.
00:32:31He says, "I live alone, I have money, a credit card in my bag, a car, a good job, etc."
00:32:39I'll feed them, I'll have the company do my cleaning.
00:32:42Okay, so where's the love, the compassion, the tenderness? Whose shoulder will you lean on? Who will make you happy when they come home, whose eyes will sparkle? Who will you share your worries and troubles with?
00:32:55You will share, even your sorrow.
00:32:56So, it is actually those emotional needs that create a family, and yes, we focus more on meeting those needs of our children and spouse.
00:33:09We need to work.
00:33:11To strengthen family ties.
00:33:12Thanks, you've touched on a very important point.
00:33:15Ramadan is actually about strengthening family ties, and children experiencing this love, attention, and the various things they do during Ramadan.
00:33:25through directed behaviors, actions,
00:33:28Would the Ramadan activities and actions they organize on a scale be a contribution to their personal and spiritual development? What do you think?
00:33:41Now, being a role model actually reminded me of what you said.
00:33:47In other words, emotional detachments, communication problems, inability to form relationships.
00:33:52Now, for Ramadan to be effective, for it to touch the heart of a child, these activities and decorations are actually just tools.
00:34:01Yes.
00:34:02The reason why we support and appreciate these events so much here is actually...
00:34:07The path to a child's heart ultimately lies in us being the right role model.
00:34:12Yes.
00:34:12Our lives, our stance.
00:34:14Are we setting an example while experiencing Ramadan?
00:34:19What are we like in normal times?
00:34:21How much of that spiritual atmosphere is present in your home?
00:34:24Let's leave the spiritual atmosphere aside for a moment.
00:34:28How emotionally close are we with our child?
00:34:32When we look at clinical problems, when we look at mental health problems in children, the child doesn't feel the presence of their mother or father.
00:34:41Yes.
00:34:41That's mostly the case.
00:34:43So, there's a mother but she's not, there's a father but he's not.
00:34:46What's wrong?
00:34:47There is this.
00:34:48There are assignments, classes, responsibilities, being late, not eating, and wearing certain things.
00:34:55Now, a child is a tangible being, and when we raise our child, when we want to give them some moral education, we are actually not developing their sense of self as much as we are trying to do.
00:35:08We are unknowingly causing disruptions in their perception.
00:35:12Without realizing it, we are targeting our child's identity, their personality, their character.
00:35:19We can completely destroy their mental structure.
00:35:22How do we target them?
00:35:23Do you know how it happens?
00:35:24It's actually like this: now, children are studying, that's the concern of all parents if they have a student, right?
00:35:30We want our child to study and do their homework.
00:35:33Now, if you say to a child who doesn't do their homework or doesn't regularly complete their assignments and responsibilities, "You are a very irresponsible person, you are incompetent,"
00:35:45Look at Ahmet, look at Ayşe, you couldn't even be a decent child.
00:35:49I've sacrificed everything for you, or I'm making these sacrifices; your father works for you all day long.
00:35:55Do you know how the child feels?
00:35:56I am the burden, I am responsible, I am the problem.
00:36:00Now, this approach isn't leading to any improvement in the child's condition.
00:36:04Now, with such an approach, when we reach Ramadan, that child is used to that language, used to this treatment.
00:36:13What's happening?
00:36:14What do emotional distances do to occasions like Ramadan, which have a spiritual atmosphere?
00:36:22It's making it difficult for us to reach the child.
00:36:24That's why events and decorations will hopefully be a means to an end.
00:36:28Today, all of Türkiye, the pilgrims at the Kaaba, are saying "Hu," and "Allah," so what happened?
00:36:33It's become a game for children, hasn't it?
00:36:35That's how the school bells started ringing.
00:36:39Perhaps families experiencing that problem, families who cannot reach their children, can now, indirectly but concretely, show their love for their children.
00:36:46In fact, we touched the child's heart in this way.
00:36:50So a young man came along and won the hearts of all the children with this hymn.
00:36:56God made him say it.
00:36:57What did he use to do this, when we look at it?
00:36:59Let's analyze this.
00:37:00He made me love him, he made me love him.
00:37:02The child had fun, enjoyed himself.
00:37:04The child also enjoys the wrong things.
00:37:08He enjoys it and takes it as a role model.
00:37:10This is where being a good role model is most important.
00:37:14Because when we are the right role models, as mothers or fathers, if a child loves us, they love everything about us.
00:37:21If he doesn't love us, he doesn't love anything about us.
00:37:24He's taking the wrong role model.
00:37:26He says he's not going to take me as a role model.
00:37:28He's setting the wrong example.
00:37:31He's starting to resemble her in his life.
00:37:33He's connecting with her.
00:37:34He/She isn't connecting with you.
00:37:35Therefore, the most important thing for parents to pay attention to here is spirituality, it's very valuable, yes, emotional closeness, but we need this...
00:37:46We need to take a look at how much we can carry and how well we can set an example for ourselves.
00:37:52Yes, once again we say that everything can be explained by setting an example and being a role model.
00:37:57Professor, since these family problems have come to the forefront so much, I think that's why it was declared the Year of the Family.
00:38:07Yes.
00:38:07Given that the problems have progressed to the point where this could be declared the Year of Family, how do you view this situation?
00:38:16So how can we avoid postponing these problems, but instead find solutions?
00:38:22Do these conflicts, especially between tradition and the modern age, affect our family so much?
00:38:29Of course, one of the reasons it was declared the Year of Family is the very high number of marriages that have already begun to end.
00:38:43In other words, an increase in divorces and the breakdown of families.
00:38:47Another reason is that young people are not enthusiastic about starting a new family.
00:38:53So, on the one hand, the rate at which we are losing the opportunities we already have has increased.
00:39:00A family has been formed, but we can't keep it together.
00:39:03On the other hand, we don't have access to that opportunity at all.
00:39:06Because young people's negative perceptions of family are due to the long-term propaganda I mentioned earlier,
00:39:14Brainwashing and advertising have led people to live more selfish and self-centered lives.
00:39:21These increasingly isolated, supposedly free but lonely individuals no longer even want to start a family.
00:39:28Therefore, the Year of Family will both strengthen existing families and renew their bonds, and raise awareness among individuals.
00:39:39And at the same time, these are activities that will support, encourage, and motivate our young people regarding starting a family, and eliminate the question marks in their minds.
00:39:53It was planned as a whole.
00:39:54This makes a lot of sense.
00:39:56Because what truly holds a society together is the family.
00:40:00What truly sustains a person, gives them peace, and makes them strong, both materially and spiritually, is family.
00:40:07Western societies have noticed this.
00:40:10So, after a long period of efforts to dismantle families, after a long period of anti-family propaganda, they realized that...
00:40:19People who don't start families or who exclude their families cannot find the happiness they desire.
00:40:27No matter how free they are, they aren't as happy as they'd like to be.
00:40:32At the end of the day, they are left alone again with their pessimism and loneliness.
00:40:37And despite all the resources at their disposal, not only the West, but also a Japan under Western influence, for example, is in a terrible situation right now.
00:40:46Having very advanced resources, technological advancements, and opportunities at its disposal.
00:40:52But the country with the most lonely people in the world has created a ministry to deal with loneliness.
00:40:59It's called the Ministry of Loneliness. But it's the country with the highest suicide rate.
00:41:03So, even the West has realized today that being alone doesn't make a person free or happy.
00:41:08That's why, in the West right now, there are efforts to bring people together under one roof, like a family, using different formulas.
00:41:18The sense of security that family provides, that warm atmosphere, the feeling of being greeted by someone, or the excitement of waiting for and welcoming someone.
00:41:26That wife or mother who asks "What happened today?", with smiling eyes, offering reassurance, saying "You can trust me, tell me, I'll figure it out."
00:41:36father.
00:41:37The moment a person loses something, they become rootless, lonely, pessimistic, and adrift.
00:41:46In fact, the modern world wanted people to be somewhat rootless.
00:41:50Because family acts as a braking mechanism, preventing people from making certain mistakes.
00:41:58He's a little ashamed of his family, a little hesitant about his family, his family is somewhat aware of him, and his family is somewhat encouraging him to do good.
00:42:05When it comes to avoiding mistakes, family is actually a very powerful support system.
00:42:10So how is this terrible capitalist system going to make people make mistakes?
00:42:15How will he grind those people between his gears?
00:42:18The family protects that person because it's a shield.
00:42:22He wanted her to be left without a family, without roots, alone, without support, and adrift.
00:42:29But then he realized that this didn't produce happy societies, didn't produce happy people.
00:42:34Now, in the West, there is an effort to bring people together again by creating different family models.
00:42:39Of course, as you know, in our country, 2025 was declared the Year of the Family, and
00:42:45Now, with the presidential decree, this issue will remain on the agenda for the family for 10 years, until 2035.
00:42:53And indeed, we desperately need to be a family, to capture the motivation that family provides us in terms of social harmony.
00:43:04Yes, we need a change in mindset here, dear professor.
00:43:08So, it's about how we look at the situation, our mindset...
00:43:11Let's make it a little more concrete then.
00:43:13In other words, our mental world, how we view life, how we make sense of people,
00:43:19How we shape our relationship with God, our mindset, is very important.
00:43:25The perception of family as a burden has been among the perceptions of young people over the last 25 or 30 years.
00:43:32Unless we clear away the mental patterns that say family means responsibility and hardship, that it is an obstacle to freedom,
00:43:43In other words, unless we highlight the positive aspects of family, making the child realize their need for family and fostering a love for it,
00:43:53Unfortunately, unless this new vaccine is effective, it's impossible to protect and save the family.
00:44:00Our young people currently have no concerns about the disintegration of the family.
00:44:06This is a very serious problem for us.
00:44:09We always talk about this during Family Year.
00:44:11We see that families fall apart very quickly due to problems that could actually be solved.
00:44:18I have an adult son, he is 29 years old.
00:44:23In the last 5 or 6 years, 5 of his friends have gotten married, and 3 of them have gotten divorced.
00:44:30He just said it.
00:44:32Now, these are all young engineers, brilliant young people, extremely promising, children from wonderful families.
00:44:39Why do they see the family as so easily destroyed, so readily replaceable, so quickly?
00:44:47It's a matter of mindset.
00:44:48We say they lack patience.
00:44:51It's not just about being patient or tolerant.
00:44:54The mindset, essentially his mental pattern, is that family is very valuable and needs to be protected.
00:45:00And they don't realize that instead of drifting apart, they need to stay close, work together to strengthen this bond, this family bond.
00:45:10The child sees all the effort put into this as wasted effort.
00:45:12Unless we change that mindset, and unless we bring out the positive, necessary, realistic, and bright aspects of ourselves and our families, it seems we will always remain in the dark.
00:45:24Thanks.
00:45:24We have touched upon some very important points.
00:45:26Of course, being a family also has a very valuable impact on children's mental health.
00:45:32We look at crime rates, and we see children exhibiting unexpected reflexes and behaviors.
00:45:42We often see that they are children whose parents have divorced, who have grown up alone, and who have lived on the streets.
00:45:49But we can see the impact of family on a child's mental health in children from families with healthy mental structures.
00:45:56What is your opinion on this matter?
00:45:58Their first thought might be about serious, traumatic events in the family.
00:46:04Whenever there are problems at home, whenever there are issues, whenever there is violence, abuse, or neglect, it's as if the child is experiencing trauma.
00:46:15Things like that might come to mind.
00:46:16But I would also like to remind you of something.
00:46:19Do you know when breakdowns sometimes occur within a family?
00:46:22When we approach the child with too much of a servant-like attitude.
00:46:26When we give in to their every wish, when we don't delay their gratification, when we don't strengthen their willpower, when we raise a child who is psychologically vulnerable, then unfortunately problems arise in families.
00:46:41There are malfunctions.
00:46:43Because children are fragile.
00:46:45My sense of self is crumbling.
00:46:47He lacks self-confidence.
00:46:48The affection, compassion, love, care, and attention shown within the family are absent.
00:46:56Where isn't it? It's not outside.
00:46:58His friends don't show him the same affection.
00:47:01He doesn't approach it with the same interest.
00:47:02And what happens to the child?
00:47:03He's getting depressed.
00:47:04What's happening to the child?
00:47:06He feels a lack of self-confidence.
00:47:07To beliefs of worthlessness...
00:47:09Ms. Müjde, our iftar time is approaching in Ankara.
00:47:13We had reached a very critical point.
00:47:15Dear viewers, our beautiful Ankara is gathered around the dinner table.
00:47:20The call to prayer awaits Muhammad.
00:47:21Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.
00:47:23Iftar has begun.
00:47:24Enjoy your meal, sir/madam.
00:47:25May God accept it.
00:47:26Allahu Akbar, Allah.
00:47:29We say amen, amen, amen.
00:47:33And there's a very beautiful prayer there, asking God to forgive me and my mother and father.
00:47:39It's truly wonderful when a family, from a spiritual perspective, prays to God for goodness and blessings for one another.
00:47:49Of course, receiving blessings from parents is a beautiful thing in itself, but...
00:47:53Ms. Müjde, during our meeting, you mentioned some habits of the father and mother and said that these habits were harmful to the child in terms of behavior.
00:48:03So, if you had to change something, for example in a family, what would you say?
00:48:09If a change is needed, what kind of habit change should the family do?
00:48:15Continuing from the previous point, moderation is necessary.
00:48:20We must not poison our children with compassion.
00:48:22Because of our own guilt, because of what we couldn't experience, perhaps because of our anxieties, because of these obsessive thoughts we have about the future...
00:48:35We tend to be overly protective of our children.
00:48:38What are we doing about the dangers, the future threats?
00:48:42We sometimes find ourselves being overly protective of our children, raising them as if they were in a bubble.
00:48:49When a child grows up and starts school, that's when the child's mind starts to change.
00:48:53Therefore, we shouldn't adopt an overly protective attitude.
00:48:56We need to leave the child alone for a while.
00:48:58There's something very important: you have to act in a way that's appropriate for their developmental stage.
00:49:02So, it's important not to leave children in overly hygienic conditions while being loving and caring.
00:49:08Children need love; they can't survive without it.
00:49:11Love is an emotional need, just like a physical need.
00:49:15However, when we overwhelm a child with this love to the point of exaggeration, the child cannot handle it.
00:49:22Isn't that right?
00:49:23We already know that it's best not to love something too much.
00:49:26Meanwhile, we need to maintain this balance and approach the child with the necessary discipline.
00:49:32By setting boundaries and rules for him, sometimes even tiring him out, forcing him, and deliberately not doing what he wants.
00:49:40From where?
00:49:40He needs to cope with that feeling.
00:49:42Let's see if he can handle it, if he can succeed.
00:49:45By making the child experience that difficulty at home, we can help them develop their character, personality, identity, and spirituality in relation to God.
00:49:54With their permission, this will contribute to making it stronger.
00:49:57Thanks.
00:49:58Professor Horiye, of course, the spiritual development of the child is also very important, and in a sense, we pass on the spiritual heritage we bring from our own families to our own children.
00:50:10We are passing it on so that they, in turn, will pass it on to the next generation of their children.
00:50:15From this perspective, how can we create, carry, and preserve this spiritual heritage in a healthy way?
00:50:22The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has a very beautiful hadith.
00:50:26No father can leave his child a more valuable inheritance than good character.
00:50:31In fact, that spiritual legacy is one that is built upon good morals, faith, and ethics.
00:50:36And the month of Ramadan provides a very suitable atmosphere for this.
00:50:40We think very much about worship during Ramadan, and worship is actually the essence and flavor of Ramadan.
00:50:48Ramadan is a month of worship, a time when devotion increases and spirituality strengthens through prayers, tarawih prayers, Quran recitation sessions, fasting, iftar (breaking the fast), and sahur (pre-dawn meal).
00:51:02Unfortunately, it has now become difficult to invite children to Ramadan through religious practices.
00:51:11Even getting families to say, "Let's all go to Tarawih prayers together," has become difficult.
00:51:16Because we've also lost our habit of doing things together as a group.
00:51:21Gathering together for iftar and for tarawih prayers, which were perfectly natural in our childhood and youth and also have a spiritual significance,
00:51:33We've also lost many of those shared activities that used to nourish us.
00:51:36Especially with the arrival of the coronavirus and the fact that during the pandemic everyone was confined to their homes much more and became much more dependent on screens.
00:51:45In fact, television screens somehow offer nutrition channels that cater to people's diverse needs.
00:51:53Are you going to listen to the recitation?
00:51:54Everyone gathers, goes to the neighbor's house, and reciprocates the greeting.
00:51:56There's no need, it's on TV, there's no need, it's on the phone.
00:52:00It is necessary to strive to escape from an environment that pushes one into loneliness, even making worship more isolating.
00:52:08In order to help children experience that spiritual atmosphere of Ramadan, we need more beautiful emotions and, as my teacher said, our love, attention, and our...
00:52:20It is very important to enable them to notice and observe the spiritual pleasure we derive from Ramadan.
00:52:26Apart from that, when we look at life in general, the legacy we will leave behind is definitely good morals, faith, and good character.
00:52:34And if we want to protect the family today, we must prioritize moral values.
00:52:41What we should leave to our children, at a very basic level, is compassion, an awareness of compassion.
00:52:47In other words, the model of a compassionate person who treats everyone without hurting them, without causing pain, and who speaks kindly so that no one is harmed by their actions or words, is taught to the child.
00:53:02We have to transfer it.
00:53:03Secondly, justice is one of the fundamental moral values that should be passed on to children, as it is a very basic value that sustains the family.
00:53:14We must teach and leave our children the legacy of being just in all circumstances, even if it goes against their own interests.
00:53:24Within families, in this very valuable sharing of responsibilities between spouses, and in ensuring fairness among children, you know, very serious problems arise.
00:53:34And the attention is especially evident in how closely the Prophet (peace be upon him) cared for his family, how he never hesitated to show love to his wives, grandchildren, and children.
00:53:49She expressed her love for her grandchildren by praying, "Oh God, I love them too," and hugging them tightly to her chest.
00:53:56Therefore, we need to increase affection and attention within the family by expressing our love more often.
00:54:04Because we want children to look up to us as role models, yes, but not to a child with whom we don't show interest or with whom we don't deeply connect through love and affection.
00:54:16He never takes us as a role model.
00:54:18We need to invest some love during Ramadan so that they can take us as a role model.
00:54:22I always think to myself, how much time have I spent in front of the screen, and how much time have I spent with my children today?
00:54:29In one day, it's evening now, and I wonder how much time I've spent on this screen.
00:54:33And how much of the time I spent on screen was essential, necessary, but how much was completely unnecessary?
00:54:41Thanks.
00:54:41It's like stealing things from the family that aren't really necessary.
00:54:45As I said, I think that showing children a little more attention, a little more care instilling good morals, especially during Ramadan, can have a very profound impact.
00:54:56Yes, Ms. Müjde, you receive many such incidents, many of them, regarding our children, but they don't immediately consult a psychologist for every problem they experience.
00:55:06to take somewhere,
00:55:08We end up treating them as if they were potential patients.
00:55:16So this isn't a problem, is it?
00:55:18Isn't that a problem for you too?
00:55:20First of all, it's not just patients who go to psychologists.
00:55:24So, psychologist, or let's correct that...
00:55:27When we face a difficulty, when we struggle to solve a problem, don't we consult our older brothers and sisters?
00:55:35Don't we consult an elder?
00:55:37Aren't we exchanging ideas?
00:55:39Sometimes the problem is far beyond our capabilities, and we simply aren't capable of solving it on our own.
00:55:46Or, it's not our field, it's not our specialization, but the child is asking religious questions.
00:55:51He's asking questions about God and is confused, but he's also learned something.
00:55:55He became afraid of abstract concepts and started to get scared at night.
00:55:59Now, of course, we need to be a little more sensitive when approaching the child here.
00:56:05At some point, you look at it, you try to approach it sensitively, but you don't know how to answer those questions either.
00:56:12The child has now started having night terrors because he learned that there are abstract, spiritual beings.
00:56:18He heard it from somewhere, from a friend.
00:56:20What do we do now?
00:56:21Is the child sick here now?
00:56:22He/She is not sick.
00:56:23We don't know how to treat our child here, and in this sense, we need to consult a specialist and get their opinion.
00:56:30Teacher, what kind of language should I use and how should I approach my child in this regard?
00:56:36By not harming her or feeding her anxiety, this doesn't make her sick.
00:56:41So families shouldn't worry, it's not just severe cases and psychoses that go to psychologists.
00:56:52That's not true, but this is what I think.
00:56:56In fact, even as a preventative intervention before a problem arises, seeking help from a couples therapist or clinical psychologist while you're engaged or not married might be very bad.
00:57:07Do you know what I'm thinking here, professor?
00:57:11Stop talking.
00:57:11We're running out of time, it's almost time for iftar.
00:57:14As families shrink and break apart, the need for psychologists increases.
00:57:18In the past, neighbors, aunts, and cousins would all work together to solve problems.
00:57:22Now we are alone and the need for a psychologist is increasing.
00:57:26Thanks.
00:57:26Thank you very much, sir.
00:57:28We thank you.
00:57:28I'm so glad you came.
00:57:29We benefited a lot.
00:57:30Those of us watching from home also benefited in the same way.
00:57:33Let's go to the Istanbul iftar after a short prayer.
00:57:36Amine.
00:57:37Praise be to Allah, praise be to Allah, praise be to Allah, Lord of all worlds.
00:57:41Vessalatu vesselamu ala rasulina muhammedin ve ala alihi ve ashabihi ecmain.
00:57:46O Lord of the worlds, grant that the prayers of our brothers and sisters across our country, who are now raising their hands in prayer to you at their tables, may your prayers be accepted.
00:57:55Grant their requests, bestow your favor upon them, forgive us, and make us among those whom You are pleased with.
00:58:01O Lord, on this blessed occasion of Ramadan, grant that our brothers and sisters who have been blessed with these gifts may also have access to these blessings and that they may not find these bounties.
00:58:13Grant us your favor, bestow your grace, and accept our prayers in the most beautiful way in your exalted presence.
00:58:19Amine.
00:58:19Praise be to Allah, Lord of all worlds.
00:58:22Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for iftar in Istanbul. May Allah accept your prayers.
00:58:28May your tables be bountiful, sir/madam.
00:58:31Allahu Akbar.
00:58:37I bear witness that there is no god but Allah.
00:58:47I bear witness that there is no god but Allah.
00:58:58I bear witness that there is no god but Allah.
00:59:13I bear witness that there is no god but Allah.
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