Rachel Bilson_ From People Pleasing to Knowing Your Worth (Full Episode)

Call Her Daddy

Rachel Bilson_ From People Pleasing to Knowing Your Worth (Full Episode) The most-listened to podcast by women, Alex Cooper’s Call Her Daddy has been creating conversation since 2018. From deep, honest discussions to laugh-out-loud moments, Cooper cuts through the BS with exciting guests and bold topics. New episodes drop every Wednesday, with throwback episodes every Friday. Want more? Join the Daddy Gang @callherdaddy.  Call Her Daddy,Alex Cooper,Father Cooper,Daddy Gang,Call Her Daddy Podcast,relationships,dating,comedy,funny,Alexandra Cooper,call,her,daddy,chd,call her daddy pod,podcast,interviews,call,her,daddy,podcast,interview,unwell,unwell network  From red carpet moments to behind-the-scenes fun, we bring you daily entertainment with fast updates and trending Bollywood stories. If you’re a true Bollywood lover, this channel is made just for you ❤️🎥  👉 Subscribe now and stay Crazy 4 Bollywood!   #Crazy4Bollywood #BollywoodNews #BollywoodGossip #BollywoodUpdates #BollywoodShorts #BollyBuzz #HindiCinema #BollywoodFans  Bollywood news, Bollywood gossip, celebrity spotted, Bollywood shorts, Hindi cinema, Bollywood updates, movie news, Bollywood viral videos

Transcript

00:02what is up daddy gang it is your founding father alex cooper with call her daddy

00:11rachel bilson welcome to call her daddy thank you so much for having me i am a big fan of

00:18early

00:182000s tv shows and not to freak you out i am the biggest oc fan maybe not ever but like

00:26are you

00:26serious i i still watch it to this day you know those shows you go back and like watch a

00:32little

00:32the oc always through and through to the core love it that's so awesome so i'm happy to have

00:37you on today thank you very fun thank you i'm flattered for my problematic listeners you know

00:44who you are if you've never watched the oc you have to watch it to give them like a little

00:47background

00:48it's basically these rich kids living in orange county california yeah drugs sex relationships

00:55family drama all the things and you're doing a rewatch podcast yes yes which is amazing oh

01:02thanks what is it like going back to relive the oc phenomenon oh my god so it's so interesting i

01:08was

01:0821 when i did the show and it was my first real big job um watching it back honestly the

01:17first few

01:17episodes i had such an emotional reaction i got like depressed i was like oh my god because it's

01:23like 20 years later basically right and i'm like so much life has happened what did i do like what

01:29did i do like when and when you say what did i do like do you mean like in terms

01:33of like the show or

01:34just like no just life just life yeah you're just like it's just more like you're basically playing

01:39back the last 20 years ish of your life and you're like it's all just going through your mind as

01:44i'm

01:44watching this because i'm like looking at this like little like pudgy face like 21 year old with

01:49like a lot of bronzer on and like questionable clothing which is coming back which is also very

01:54confusing but like i'm watching it just going like oh shit you know and my boyfriend at the time was

01:59on

01:59the show with me and so it brings up all that about life behind the scenes when you're that young

02:05and

02:06you're on a show and you're dating someone on the show and you're like the it girl on the show

02:11everyone's obsessed with you but then you're saying like i'm looking back and like that was still me

02:16as a young woman like and i'm watching back so there's like emotions for you and then for sure

02:21yeah yeah and then everyone still wants to talk about it all the time to you which how does that

02:24feel well you know what i will say i wasn't like misha barton was obviously like the it girl and

02:29she

02:29was 16 years old and i can't even imagine what that would have been like to be 16 with that

02:34kind

02:34of attention and every magazine cover like i still had a lot of anonymity and like my own life and

02:40my boyfriend and we were very domesticated and kind of like grandparents at the time like we were

02:44like old people like newspaper in the morning same breakfast every morning like it was really

02:49wait so you guys were like the couple on the show you know what i guess you're i guess you're

02:54right

02:54but josh schwartz the creator would always take you know things from your own life and incorporate it

03:00into the into the show like golden girls huge golden girls fan he put it in the show we sing

03:05the theme

03:05song so there were so much you had to be careful around schwartz like what you said or did because

03:10he's like that's the next week's episode absolutely what is like the most common question

03:15you're asked about your time working on the oc i mean a lot of it was just like what was

03:21it like

03:21you know getting that much attention that quickly and working together and how was everyone on set i know

03:28there's been like mixed things out there yeah we had a great time we had a lot of fun in

03:32general

03:33together personalities hanging out um but yeah a lot of the things are like how did it feel to have

03:38that much success that quickly it is kind of a unfathomable feeling at that age like i know what

03:44i was doing at 21 it was not that i was drinking in college being a full degenerate having sex

03:50and

03:50making bad decisions with my life oh yeah oh i did that just earlier okay but it's still on a

03:55on like

03:55kind of a pedestal of people watching you and so i'm interested to know like when the oc became popular

04:00how did it affect you your family your friends well you know like i said because i was in a

04:05relationship

04:05i was definitely on a different track and going through it together so having that support really

04:10made the difference okay so to anyone that hasn't watched or the oc stands that are just like just say

04:15the name summer roberts your character was hot popular rich she was the it girl and then she starts

04:23basically getting into a relationship with seth cohen who was played by adam brody yes and so you have

04:28an on-screen relationship and then you start an off-screen relationship yes when was the moment you knew

04:34you had feelings for him oh my god it's so funny i feel like on-screen was kind of playing

04:39off-screen

04:40because in the beginning there was a triangle between another character anna stern played by

04:44samira armstrong and then and myself and seth and i felt like it kind of played into real life a

04:51little

04:51bit like samira and i were both like wait a minute i'm like i like adam no i like adam

04:55and like

04:56it kind of was happening off-screen and you know that that competitive side of you like with a guy

05:02and

05:02you're like no no no like hold on um it was like i don't know if that heightened it i

05:08obviously thought

05:08brody was super cool i knew him before the show a friend of ours had dated him actually i know

05:14so we

05:14knew him a little bit and he was hilarious right and i'm a sucker for a sense of humor like

05:20absolutely

05:21i mean that is my weakness so was there like a moment on set that immediately you were like i'm

05:26gonna

05:26go for this i remember standing in the hallway okay i don't remember anything and the fact that i

05:31remember this is kind of insane i was standing in the hallway and i was dating someone else at the

05:35time and brody like talked to me about the relationship and gave me advice on why i shouldn't

05:40be in it and it was like this moment of like oh i i want to be with you you

05:46know and it was like this

05:47this pivotal moment and there was like a halloween party i think it was a halloween party and he

05:53kissed me for the first time and that was it like it was like okay and that was off camera

05:58that was

05:58like that kiss you're saying off camera i'm like wait was it set in summer but the first time he

06:02kissed me on screen i think that was like the first time like oh is there something here right but

06:06that

06:06can be confusing you know if you're doing a show or a movie and that happens sometimes you get

06:10confused like oh do i really like feel this way am i feeling something or is it just is it

06:15true i've

06:15heard from actors like you can tell a little bit if someone's more into you because there's like an

06:19appropriate way to kiss a co-star there's no tongue in television okay okay if someone tongues you

06:25you're gonna be like oh either like oh no or like oh wait a minute oh yes no i'm just

06:31kidding

06:31never tongue on camera no no no but then no okay wait so that's really fun and then do you

06:37have any

06:37advice for someone who is newly dating someone in their work environment oh my god oh advice you know

06:46it sounds like i should probably be a pro with my track record um i think that just

06:53be friends first because i think that'll help yeah because usually it ends sometimes i you know

07:01what i love you being realistic about it yeah we love the realistic side oh yeah i'm very real like

07:07to a fault yeah so when you're on set was there ever an instance where dating someone you're working

07:13with like was there ever something that was like hard about that aspect um when we broke up like that's

07:20the harder i don't you know and then we both dated other people on the show while we were together

07:24in

07:24real life so sometimes you can be a little jealous i mean he was kissing people on the show for

07:29your

07:29characters or the characters oh it was like wait who did you know like he was like kissing olivia

07:33wilde and like of course i'm gonna be like well fuck you know but i also get it like can

07:37i kiss her

07:37like that when you guys broke up no we were together we were together okay while that was happening

07:42that would be a hard one that's a hard one right wilde walks in yeah you're like

07:46and so cool and she's the coolest person in real life too so you're like well i love her

07:51and you're like wait a minute your boyfriend's kissing her and then it can be confusing yeah

07:55it's just that kind of stuff but that's normal so how long did you guys date for i think like

08:00three

08:00years and a half years and was that three seasons yeah we dated pretty much the whole show

08:06it was such a huge show that blew up right and everyone was obsessed with you guys like the four

08:12people that were like the main kids on the show yeah and to have you being able to have a

08:16relationship

08:17with someone to be your rock and your go-to person while like your life is kind of changing before

08:22your eyes sure that's a i'm sure like a bond you guys will always have in like yeah yeah and

08:28even

08:28reconnecting with him i spoke to him he came on the oc podcast yeah it was great i love seeing

08:33him

08:33anytime i see him nothing but fond like loving feelings and great memories so fun yes okay your character

08:40you were so lovable i'm wondering how was your personal like real life rachel bilson high school

08:47experience oh god oh man um school for me i wasn't so much like an academic i would say i

08:57just it just

08:58didn't interest me it's not like i couldn't do it if i sat down and really studied and focused i

09:02could

09:03do it but my interests were like all over the place and growing up in la i think i grew

09:07up a little

09:08young like at 15 my friends and i and olivia was here with me like we'd be getting into the

09:11clubs

09:12like do you know that's just what life is like that sounds like summer roberts i mean a little bit

09:17a little bit i still remember exactly what i was wearing where i was the time of day who i

09:25was with

09:25for the season three finale oh like i've got the chills i've never and i still have not recovered

09:32from it i haven't i don't i mean spoil alert you know who hasn't marissa to anyone that hasn't

09:38watched the show pause and go watch it please spoiler alert the main character dies yep tragically

09:45like the most tragic like fuck you volchuk okay but he was so hot oh my god he was so

09:51hot olivia

09:52dated him sorry but you've dated him oh my god absolutely as you should we have someone in the

09:57audience and god bless you because i had his like poster this guy cam gajanda is that how you say

10:03i don't know gigante yeah okay well i was obsessed with him anyways marissa dies yep misha barton's

10:09character yep what was your reaction when you learned that misha's character was getting pulled off the

10:15show it was very traumatic everyone felt it it was it was so somber on set and you really because

10:23you're a family and it is like a family member is leaving or dying and it was brutal um i

10:29mean still

10:30i can picture it in my mind and it's it's just it was traumatizing literally yeah yeah and i don't

10:37remember like behind the scenes really like the last time she was on set or anything like that but

10:41it was definitely a dark time did you talk to misha about her decision to leave the show

10:47i don't think i ever had a personal conversation like why are you leaving i think it was a joint

10:52decision i don't think it was like her decision like i'm gonna leave or josh and stephanie's

10:57decision to be like we're we're getting you know you're you're being killed off because whatever

11:02you know i i don't know what really happened behind the scenes as far as like who made the

11:07actual decision i think that josh felt like a lot of her storylines had run through i mean what else

11:12could you put the girl through she literally like overdoses shoot someone you know i mean every

11:18possible storyline was done with that character you're right and it didn't seem fitting for her

11:23to like go i think it was like she was gonna go work on her dad's boat or something it

11:26was like

11:27that's not marissa's not going to work on a boat no absolutely not like she's going to fashion week

11:31right um daddy gang we have a lot to unpack okay there's survivor the boys euphoria and i have been

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13:22deposit have fun how did the cast dynamic change for season four towards the end i started to work

13:30on something else at the same time simultaneously so i was so distracted that i wasn't really

13:35in it all the time presently so i wasn't feeling all the things and you had broken up with adam

13:40at

13:40the time towards the end okay so i guess it kind of felt probably like time to move on like

13:46by season

13:47four yeah especially like working on another project and it was a film feeling like okay like

13:51let's this is ending like what's happening what's next okay we're moving on okay we are both the

13:59daughters of therapists but in your case you were raised by a sex therapist yeah so my mom's always

14:07like i'm not a sex therapist i'm more like a sex counselor and whatever the woman will talk about

14:12sex to your blue in the face like as a daughter like i know your mom's a therapist yeah yeah

14:17but

14:18just like really coming with it no problem i'm like i remember going on the wendy williams show

14:24and i think i used cunnilingus and they like blurred it like they had to bleep it out i'm like

14:28is that a bad word like what did i say you know because my mom's always like cunnilingus and you

14:32know

14:32like all the proper terms and right and you're like that's what i grew up around i'm like isn't that

14:36what it's called oh sorry eating eating me out like what you know i'm like was that would that have

14:42been

14:42better wendy i totally get it i that's i think fascinating where when you grow up usually you're

14:47hiding everything from your parents you're like i don't even want them to know oh and to be raised

14:52by a sex counselor or therapist how do you think having your mom have that profession impact the way

14:59you handled relationships growing up you know it was always like a very open household like nudity

15:06like all of it you know so feeling like really comfortable in your skin which was great and

15:11talking about it all like the night i lost my virginity i was very young um and my mom the

15:16next

15:16day sitting me down being like let's talk about sex i'm like how did you fucking know like how do

15:21you

15:21know these things like you know it was just like that all the time rachel you're glowing sweetie i know

15:26like honey there was like a weird crunchy towel in the bathroom no that's not real not real condoms

15:34only i was like very young okay um okay so you so did you then tell your mom in that

15:39conversation you

15:40lost your virginity yeah i was like yeah mom i did it she's like how was it i'm like it

15:44was very quick

15:45and like whatever i mean who is like i had the best first time no you don't enjoy it no

15:51your vagina is

15:52no you don't enjoy it like i didn't really enjoy sex until i was like much older you know and

15:57i

15:57respect you for saying that because i think a lot of women i've said a lot on my podcast it's

16:03really

16:04it's almost like you feel shame if you don't experience an orgasm or you're not enjoying it

16:09right away and so there's like this it's the worst thing yeah and then women don't want to say they're

16:13not because like i had a lot of teammates i was on a soccer team in college and everyone would

16:17just be

16:17talking about like oh my god like i had the best sex last night and meanwhile i'm like out of

16:21these

16:2112 girls talking there's no fucking way every single one of them just had an orgasm no there's

16:25no way there's no way like so it's like you lie about it almost because you're embarrassed and you

16:30want to like fit in for sure and you're like what's wrong with me but i love that you're normalizing

16:34like

16:35hey i didn't know until later i've always been brutally honest i've never faked an orgasm like i'm

16:40not that person to lie to put on airs or whatever it is like it's like no i no never

16:46faking it uh no i

16:47can't do it it took a very long time for me to be able to and i think it's important

16:52why would you

16:53lie what is the best sex advice that your mother has given you a.k.a give it to us

16:59a.k.a share it with

17:01us rachel oh god i'm trying to think i mean she's always very into like relaxing like to the point

17:07where your first guy you know your gyno appointment like envision your vagina opening up like a flower and

17:13take breaths and like i'm like all right i'll try it like here comes the rose like you know what

17:18i

17:18mean but it's helpful because it makes it so relaxed and just even having those visuals which is like

17:25super weird to some people can be really helpful you know i was like 13 the first time i went

17:30and

17:30you're young like it's hard to do that oh my god you're so in your head and that's the thing

17:35about

17:35orgasms too like you're so in your head and if you have that pressure or whatever it's never gonna

17:39happen never ever and it's so but it's so hard and i just want to normalize that it is hard

17:45and

17:45like you're not alone if you're listening and you haven't had an orgasm absolutely you are not alone

17:49no you're not alone i feel like in the past i know i have definitely faked an orgasm i know

17:54i feel like most women have that i've spoken to i think that there's an there's two parts number one

17:59and maybe if i was in college and i was like i'm never having an orgasm i'm gonna fucking fake

18:03it so

18:04it can be over which i know is so bad and i don't do that anymore but there's another way

18:07to get them

18:08to finish like you say the right things okay let's keep this absolutely here we go oh my god

18:12oh my god here we go and then i think the other part is like there's also some times where

18:18i know

18:19like i'm having such incredible sex but i just know that i'm not going to get there right and so

18:25i'm gonna fake it because i genuinely like you know what i had great sex but i'm just gonna fake

18:30it at the end because like i he probably is gonna keep going because he thinks i haven't finished yet

18:34and i know he can finish so just go ahead and right just like what do you do though to

18:39like if a

18:40guy's like have you finished like the pressure like how do you tell guys basically like no i didn't

18:45finish you know what i am so honest i can have great sex it's hard for me to orgasm but

18:50after

18:50all it's like oh my god like you know that was great or whatever you want to say like it

18:54felt so

18:54good and it's hard for me to orgasm has nothing to do with you like obviously i think we can

18:58get

18:58there or sometimes if you can't you don't say those things but but if it feels good you want

19:03to give them props obviously the phenomenon of like porn and guys being yeah obsessed with trying

19:08to like get a girl to squirt and like get a girl to like come yeah they try so hard

19:14and they're

19:15almost have you ever had a guy be so focused on trying to give you an orgasm like how do

19:19you go

19:19about that basically being like like tapping his head being like okay calm down right like what do

19:25you do yeah i just pull them up you pull them up oh yeah like it's just not yeah you

19:29know and i

19:30think a lot of guys if they know what they're doing they can tell if it's not going to go

19:34that

19:34way you know and i think that comes a lot with experience and age like with a younger dude they

19:39might not really know you know but a guy who's been doing it for a while he gets they know

19:43what's

19:43up i agree i think sometimes ladies if you're listening and you're struggling with that like

19:47that's such good advice of like sometimes you literally don't need to say anything like i've

19:50done that so many times where i'm like okay like come fuck me like basically just pull them up

19:54yeah for sure let's go and then they'll be like oh okay it's yeah we'll just move on yes okay

20:00have

20:01you ever been in a relationship where your partner had different sex drives than you and how did you

20:06guys handle that for sure you know that's an example of getting in your head because i have

20:11been in one where like or maybe i haven't been as interested after a while in having sex with the

20:16person and in my head i'm like okay i had sex today if i wait two or three days okay

20:22maybe i can do

20:22it again on thursday and then he'll be okay you know but then you're in your head and then you're

20:26like oh fuck and and i had that for a while like even after a relationship being stuck in that

20:31and

20:31overthinking like we had sex today okay when do i have to have it again to you know that is

20:37the most

20:37relatable thing just to pause you right there i can't imagine how many women are like me too rachel

20:43what the fuck do you do to like combat that right it's yeah it's it's it's so tough right because

20:49battling your head and your body because there's totally different things and even if i want to

20:54have sex my head could be like no i don't really want to and then you're stuck in that pattern

20:58of

20:59like okay i'm gonna calculate this do you feel like when that happened to you with that partner because

21:03i hear what you're saying like that that specific it felt like you're kind of like i'm not sure if

21:07i'm in this anymore and like i don't know what i'm doing right did it go on for a while

21:11did you end

21:12it did you find any like remedy for it yeah it's probably like the last year and a half

21:16of doing a pattern until it finally broke off yeah you know and just sticking to that and being

21:22like because i'm a very i'm a people pleaser that carries over into relationships but i feel like i

21:29feel like in those moments i feel like that's a good red flag for yourself to know like hey henry

21:36no i'm letting he needs his space there he goes oh my god thank you i think in those moments

21:41what i

21:41would say to women is number one it may be a good red flag for you to be like hey

21:47maybe i'm not as

21:48into this person as i thought yeah like listen to what's going on also i would say i've sometimes had

21:53moments where i'm just like out of it with my sex drive and it's not my partner and so sometimes

21:59like

22:00maybe finding time for yourself to masturbate right maybe which is way easier like if you need

22:05an orgasm it's so much easier and quicker yourself because you know your body so well and then i feel

22:10like sometimes for me and i don't know if you feel the same but like sometimes then when i do

22:12that

22:13like maybe i'll be a little bit more horny that day and then like i'm like oh i kind of

22:16would want

22:16to have sex tonight like right so just making sure just checking in with yourself is really what it is

22:22about and it's really not about your partner yeah it can be either there is a difference for sure and

22:26i've been in both how do you approach bringing a toy into the bedroom for the first time with a

22:31partner okay so i have very little experience with this i didn't even have a vibrator until

22:36a few years ago like i was gifted one from a guy i was dating i was like fuck yeah

22:43like that's

22:43awesome like okay he's totally open and that i feel like that shows a guy with awareness right

22:49and i had i've only used one with that person uh and i haven't really brought it back since but

22:57i

22:57would like to did you like using it with your partner i did except there was like one thing we

23:03were doing it like really hurt like it was not the right like maybe this isn't the right way to

23:07be doing this but i think it can be totally fun and it should be more accepted and i know

23:12there

23:12are guys out there that would feel like their ego hurt like oh why do you need this like i

23:16can give

23:16you this it's like no no but your tongue can't buzz like no like it doesn't actually vibrate but like

23:22just having guys that are aware and they're like oh this is gonna help her and then they actually

23:27are about you being pleasured as well i think is awesome have you used it alone eventually

23:33oh yeah for sure and i think they're great and i feel like i actually it's funny i was gifted

23:38one

23:38as well back in college like your first one yes i was literally using a toothbrush at the time that

23:44was an electric toothbrush the back of the head hey you know and my friend lauren was like i went

23:49through a breakup and she was like alex come with me i'm like where are we going and she brought

23:53me to

23:53a sex shop and she was like we need to get you a vibrator because stop using your toothbrush i'm

23:57like i don't brush my teeth with it please let me clarify right but i think it was a it

24:01was a cute

24:01moment because then afterwards like i definitely enjoyed time alone with myself and i enjoyed time

24:07with my partner more but i agree like you have to find the right one for sex right and i

24:12think

24:12you're right it takes a certain partner someone that's confident in themselves and wants to make sure

24:17that they're pleasing you if maybe even if your partner was like oh rachel has mentioned like

24:21sometimes it's hard for her to orgasm like let me think outside the box because i want her to enjoy

24:25sex as much as i'm enjoying it like let's get her a vibrator i think that's someone that's really

24:30confident in themselves and the relationship and wants you to enjoy yourself call her daddy is brought

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26:57you recently mentioned that your breakup with actor bill hater was worse than child okay i did not

27:04actually say that i'm happy you brought that up whoa let's clarify i said okay obviously he and i

27:11we're not still together so we broke up but um it was during you know a time where you could

27:16not leave

27:17your house okay you had to sit in whatever it was that you were going through so i had to

27:22deal with

27:23this i had to deal with being alone and taking care of my kid and like everything else and i'm

27:27like

27:28being isolated and not being able to connect with any humans not being able to help myself like

27:33i got into a depression like all of these things that time having to be forced to face all of

27:39your

27:39shit i said was harder than childbirth is anything more painful fuck no maybe kidney stones which

27:44definitely is a close second but like no i didn't say that you know all breakups are hard of course

27:52you

27:52know of course like especially when you are in something that you're really into and things happen

27:57you know and fucking things change and uh you know there was a pandemic like there were so many

28:04things going on um yes it was a hard time i cannot imagine i think i know a lot of

28:10people

28:10messaged me going through breakups and pandemics i mean people were going through so much in the

28:14pandemic whether it was almost like a breakup within yourself of self-realizing something there was a lot

28:20yeah and so i completely understand what you're saying with regard to that think about it and the first

28:24thing you want to do like after a breakup is like get out there and you know socialize and be

28:29out with

28:30your friends and like your you know do your thing and you literally can only sit in a house with

28:36your

28:36child that you're taking care of you can't even take care of yourself first you know right and just

28:41sit with life and everything that comes along with it totally so it's just like about being isolated

28:47and going through the pandemic with all the things in life when you broke up because it was a

28:53pandemic was it like a phone call like did you even get to see this person in person when you

28:57guys

28:57broke up it was not yeah it was not in person yeah well because you know in the beginning when

29:03you're so isolated and you're so scared because you don't know like you're like oh my god i looked at

29:08someone like am i gonna die um and you know he has his own family he has to think about

29:12i had my own

29:13family to think about and like obviously briar's dad like you know it was like our bubble so like we're

29:18not gonna see anyone he's not gonna see anyone so it was definitely done and not like your normal

29:23like in person way what helped you ultimately heal from the pain of that heartbreak with bill

29:30you know what was so interesting having it was almost like a blessing in disguise so having to

29:37be alone with all of the shit and your thoughts and not leave the house like i had to look

29:42at

29:43everything and i'm like okay i've been in therapy for years which i love big fan big advocate

29:49huge um and like do therapy like write if that helps you like i was reading books i was doing

29:55things that i i never had time to do um and it gave me that time to just really do

30:00things for

30:00myself like yes i'm looking after my kid but there was obviously shared time so i would have time

30:05absolutely alone alone alone yeah and i got to do the things that i always wanted to do and it

30:10really

30:10helped me and it was like oh i'm focusing just on me and it's not about the guy or you

30:15know the

30:16relationship it's literally just about me as a human i was happy that i was forced to sit in

30:22like the pain or the the hurt or you know all the feelings that come along yeah with it because

30:28i got

30:29to get through it some people will hold on to that for years like because they'll distract themselves

30:33totally don't actually face those feelings you're feeling i mean can if we can talk about that a little

30:38bit because i think a lot of people can relate to that topic of like kind of knowing something maybe

30:43isn't right but and again being in a pandemic like how did you or i don't know if it was

30:50your

30:50decision but come to that decision of like i'm this is gonna end even if it's a pandemic like how

30:57did

30:57you get to that point to end it or whoever ended it i think it was the stress of the

31:02situation in the

31:03world that led to it um no one knew how to be or react you know and i think it

31:11was just a result of

31:12that alone the stress of it all oh really yeah because do you think if the pandemic hadn't

31:15happened maybe i mean i would think it probably would have went on maybe a little longer but then

31:20in retrospect looking at it you're like obviously it would have ended because it did you know like

31:26it's not but maybe almost ended faster yeah yeah so i guess it's kind of like a good way to

31:31look at

31:32like a positive because i think a lot of times like we get deeper into it and more time goes

31:37by but

31:38ultimately it's not the one right so it was like i said blessing in disguise in many ways

31:43have you through relationships now like when you think of the one and like what your wants are

31:51how have you found that through what you've gone through with your past relationships i think that's

31:56everything and i think people and as you get older you know i'm 40 years old you go through all

32:00these experiences and you're like oh i'm taking things from each thing right so there's always a

32:05positive because it's like i recognize something in this relationship that did not work for me

32:09so the next time i need this and i've gotten to a place now where i know exactly what i

32:14want

32:14what i need and for the first time i'm not afraid to say it can you give us an example

32:19of something

32:20from any relationship you've ever been in that you're like this is something i know personally

32:24for me that just like doesn't work for me in a relationship hmm and then also a need

32:29like someone controlling is never good you know and i like i said people pleasing i was definitely

32:35weaker and i could like be subjected to that and be like okay like yeah i'll just do whatever he

32:40says

32:41and that's a pattern with me in a lot of the relationships i've had so that's something like

32:45huge that i'm like no i need to make my decisions and i need to stick to what i know

32:49and be strong like

32:51the strength in me would always be a lot weaker in relationships when i was younger

32:56and now being older i know exactly like how to speak up for myself i should say

33:01call her daddy is brought to you by sephora as you guys know my mom and i are really really

33:07close

33:08but when it comes to giving her gifts i feel like i am running out of good options i'm spending

33:13time

33:13trying to brainstorm something that she needs and that like she actually will use and then suddenly

33:19it's the last minute i'm like okay let's just get some like flowers and maybe like a sweater

33:23and we'll just like call it a no mother's day is coming up and this year i'm switching it up

33:28okay

33:28we're all switching it up instead of trying to guess what your mom wants i personally and so should

33:35you we're going straight to sephora girls okay sephora has mother's day gift sets for every mother

33:40figure in your life that feel special and personal whether she's into her skincare routine or it never

33:46leaves the house without a good perfume on these sets are designed to make her feel good look good

33:51and actually take a second for herself which we all know she deserves sephora makes it so easy to

33:56find something thoughtful without the stress you can go in grab something cute and be in and out

34:01so daddy gang this mother's day let's set it up skip the basic gifts and get her something she'll

34:07actually be excited to open shop mother's day gifts at sephora have you gotten to a point though

34:14where like you can recognize when it's happening yes and then know how to get out of it yeah i

34:20mean

34:20it's one of those things because when you're in something and you don't see it then you get out

34:24of it it's so clear yeah that now that you can recognize it because you've acknowledged that you

34:29can recognize it anytime it comes up you're like oh no he's doing this thing yep i'm not okay with

34:34it

34:34what does it need what are you like these this is something i definitely need in a partner i need

34:41someone make me coffee in the morning like fuck yes thank you honestly i create just like on top

34:47of me missionary like some dudes that like aren't down with that i need a man on top of me

34:51sometimes

34:52you know what i mean and like that's another thing sexually i'm like yes like own it i need to

34:57feel

34:57it like like carrie says in sex i need to feel the weight of a man on top of me

35:00it's like i can so

35:01relate to that guys if anyone's listening rachel needs coffee and missionary i mean i feel like it's

35:07doable are you currently single i am not okay okay is he bringing you coffee in the morning and

35:14is he doing missionary yeah that's actually great okay great is there anything that you

35:21look back and you're like there's a theme throughout people you've dated a theme i do i have noticed

35:28this isn't this is a generalization right i think i've dated quite a few actors and i do think that

35:35some of them not all have very like self-involved tendencies um and i think that just kind of comes

35:42along with the territory a lot of the time right i'm not saying all of them that i've dated have

35:46them but it is a theme um and i don't like it do you think you would ever stray from

35:53the actors oh

35:54yeah for sure really i always tell myself like never again and then of course you know you're in

35:58another project another person um but no you know and i will say you know with respect for my

36:05daughter's father of course he is not like that i get what you're saying of like it you don't want

36:11to fall into that tendency and then you're on a movie set is it hard when you're um single and

36:18on sets to like not get involved in that kind of stuff well for sure because think about it any

36:23workplace you're in you're surrounded by the people you're around them every day and you'll

36:28meet different personalities and sometimes you'll really have chemistry with someone it doesn't

36:32matter where you are yes it's a set but it's literally someone you're spending mostly 12 hours

36:37a day with so you're gonna get to know these people better than you would get to know someone

36:42you're just casually dating in the beginning because it's literally that's why i feel like a lot of

36:47people do get into like workplace relationships i'm not encouraging it everyone but like any job

36:54you're at if you work in sales real estate it doesn't have to be entertainment and you are with

36:59that person all day every day and it starts as a friendship right it starts as you're cordial you're

37:05going to get to the coffee together you're going to craft services together and you're then talking

37:09about your life and all of a sudden that blossoms into like oh yeah maybe you could be no though

37:14it could

37:15always end of course and if it's gonna potentially always end be friends be friends and like protect

37:21yourself and like make decisions of like before you jump in i think some people that have maybe like

37:26i think actors are lucky because it's like then you're off to your next project right it's like

37:29summer camp a lot of the time yes yes and if you're in a nine to five sweetheart that's not

37:33summer camp that is all day around baby so make sure you're gonna be cozy if he's in the cubicle

37:39and like a couple weeks later you guys break up yeah for sure because that's difficult way

37:43difficult okay you get very personal on your pod has it been cathartic to talk about your personal

37:51life on your podcast it has like i'm still a very private person like i won't like name names or

37:58you

37:58know but i want we wanted to create a space that and you know what before we started i listened

38:04to

38:04your first call her daddy and i was like oh my first podcast yes the fact that you were so

38:11just

38:12transparent and like didn't give a fuck like you said every you know what i mean it was just texted

38:17me and i said i want you to degrade me yes oh my god that's awful god bless i remember

38:22that recording

38:22that to this day you do oh my god i remember going in there and just being i'm just gonna

38:27say everything

38:27that happened this week right i had no idea what i was doing i'd never listened to a podcast in

38:32my

38:32life before i recorded that i think my voice was so affected so fake i was like hi guys this

38:37is alex

38:38like i can't listen back so it pain well i get it it's like watching your first project you're like

38:44oh my god like what is that i get it but that being said just the very like transparency and

38:50just being

38:51super honest and open i fucking loved you know and so my best friend olivia and i were like we

38:57want

38:57to create a safe space where women or even men you know we have men coming on now just being

39:02open and

39:03honest and getting into it and not afraid to speak whatever's on their mind like obviously we go there

39:08about sex but we it's life right and we're moms and it's it's a whole different thing and it's a

39:13different phase of life but it feels really good to have our own platform to do that i love that

39:17and

39:18i think that listen i have had some where i come up with fake names for people and then people

39:24still find it out so don't do that if you're private rachel i'll give you that tip don't come

39:28up with like oh this one's door number three and this is slim shady and don't do that but when

39:33you

39:33talk about the themes of what you're going through that is relatable because we all can relate in some

39:38capacity we're all human beings going through depression anxiety happiness stress sadness like

39:43hard times with your romantic with your family with your friends and so i think like it's cool to

39:49have anyone sit down in front of a microphone and be open like i think everyone can appreciate that

39:54i would hope so and i think it's accessible and people like kind of crave that authenticity yeah

39:58and i think for me it's like okay i can speak personally about my own experiences but i don't

40:03want to like bring other people in that don't have a mic in front of them and can't either defend

40:07or

40:08share their side that is the catch 22 of it all sweetie and i'm still trying to figure it out

40:14i know

40:14right you got to like push the boundary but it's also like respecting i get it respecting people in

40:19your life absolutely i think i read you don't introduce your child to people you date i've

40:26learned yeah from you know mistakes in the past that you don't want to do it too quickly

40:30yeah but luckily you know she's only seven now and she was a lot younger before and whatnot so it

40:36probably didn't resonate as much as it would now per se um but yeah i think that's super important

40:40because i don't want it to look like some revolving door or i don't know how it's gonna affect her

40:46and she's number one for me like totally hands down before work before men before anything um and

40:53so i don't take that lightly have you had a lot of people that are respectful of that yeah i've

40:59only

40:59had positive experiences luckily but also that speaks to like me knowing what i need and want now

41:04so i'm not going to entertain anything if they don't understand the kid comes first and i think

41:08that's great and it's also like ladies be fucking confident like you did the most incredible thing in

41:13the world which is bring a human being onto this earth and like if someone is not going to be

41:18positive and accepting of however you want to handle the boundaries tell them to affect themselves

41:24and find someone better for sure and a lot of women have those insecurities i think absolutely

41:28being moms or whatever age you are at that point and just thinking like oh are guys gonna want it's

41:33like oh fuck that yeah you know totally being a public figure most of your life is there anything

41:39that you would like to share that you think maybe is like a misconception about you or people maybe

41:44think about you that you're like oh i would like to like clarify and kind of just say my piece

41:47on that

41:48god you know i feel like i've been fortunate enough to have mostly a positive response and i think

41:54you know i love that it's important to me like how i carry myself setting an example whatever but i'm

41:59super fucking crass and like have a dirty sense of humor and i'm not afraid to show it and i

42:04think it'll

42:04come through on broad ideas like the new podcast um but i feel very fortunate like i feel like i've

42:11gone through this time in my life where i've been you know working or whatever um in a decent way

42:17where i can be proud that my daughter will see how i carried myself what do you attribute that to

42:23because i think a lot of people like fuck like this shit like i got me fucked up by being

42:27in the public

42:28whether it was maybe they didn't come from the best family to give them values right whether no that's

42:31like what do you think you why you just end up having such a good like straight and narrow path

42:37there's not a lot of drama around you i think that the support system you have around you is huge

42:42all

42:42my best friends are my best friends since high school and before and junior high never strayed from

42:47that i don't make new friends often um and my family i have a very supportive family um and i

42:54grew

42:54up that way and a loving open mom clearly um and i think that is such a big part of

43:00it and people

43:01around you that know you so well they can just if you have a moment you're like no no no

43:05no like get

43:06the fuck back down here what are you doing and i have that and we trust that and it's like

43:11the

43:11friends like no you can't borrow my new dress like it's that comfortability of like i haven't worn it

43:15yet you know yeah you can be real with you can be real totally no i i really respect you

43:21saying that

43:21and i feel like it's really cool to get to sit down with you because we respect your work so

43:26much and

43:26so now it's cool to be able to like sit with rachel bilson and talk with you and get to

43:30know you i'm

43:30such a fan of yours i was like oh my god like it was just such a cool thing and

43:34i think this is so

43:36beautiful what you're doing i love it and inspired me to you know just be able to go there like

43:41you

43:41gave me the confidence it's like you can be who the fuck you are and say what the fuck you

43:44want

43:44and still be a successful woman in this world and it's awesome rachel thank you so much for coming

43:50thank you so much

43:51you

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