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00:00MUSIC
00:17You can barely walk, so if I say he isn't here,
00:21then that is because he is not here, yes?
00:23Yeah.
00:24Now, I suggest you put out an alert and inform your charge nurse, OK?
00:28I mean, don't disrespect. I know you're really busy and all that,
00:31but how could you lose my husband, for God's sake?
00:36Er...
00:38Right, er...
00:40I suppose he could have tried to find the toilet again.
00:43He can't get as far as the canteen, and I've tried the day room.
00:46I mean, if he's collapsed somewhere, I swear...
00:51Nurse, it's my husband, Nigel.
00:54Can you tell me what's going on?
00:55Yeah, look, just come with me into his room.
00:59OK.
01:01I'm... I'm so sorry, I...
01:03What's happened?
01:04Well, I thought you'd been informed.
01:05Are we through?
01:07Out the way.
01:09Your sacks have dipped to 82%.
01:11OK, let's get him on the morning, Sergeant.
01:13OK, let's get him on the morning, Sergeant.
01:14See us!
01:16It's all right!
01:18It's all right!
01:18Hi, it's Claire. I can't get...
01:20Voicemail. It's gone straight to voicemail.
01:23I knew I shouldn't have got back in touch with Claire.
01:25I mean, she's not grown up at all.
01:27I mean, how could she be behaving so selfishly, so stupidly, so dangerously?
01:34How could she just check him out of here, Phil?
01:36Because he's her dad.
01:37Yes, I know that.
01:38But she's got eyes, hasn't she?
01:41I mean, ever since Nigel came in here, he's just not been getting better.
01:43Look, we've got to find him, Phil.
01:45Why are you not panicking?
01:47All those months, eh?
01:48All that time, all that effort,
01:50trying to make sure that he was safe,
01:51and then she barges in,
01:52and then she puts him at risk.
01:54I mean, why?
01:55Why is she doing this, Phil?
01:58Why?
01:58What is she doing this for?
01:59I mean, where is she taking him to?
02:01Today of all days, you know,
02:03I wouldn't put it past her
02:03if she's shoved him in the back of a taxi
02:05and she's going to try and wheel him all the way back up to Scotland.
02:12Come on, Dad, please.
02:13Off!
02:14You old pal.
02:15I don't know who she is.
02:16Who is she?
02:17Let's do this for you, Nigel.
02:19How you said.
02:21You don't have to.
02:22You don't want to.
02:25Something hurts.
02:27You feeling bad?
02:29This isn't going to work.
02:31Maybe we should just take him back inside.
02:34I don't know how to do this.
02:37He doesn't recognise me,
02:38and I don't recognise him.
02:42Are you going to come?
02:44Like you told us you wanted?
02:46Put a smile back on that face.
02:49One last time.
03:00All that time it's taken us to find him
03:02an appropriate care home place,
03:03and if he doesn't move in there today on time,
03:06you don't think they're going to
03:06give his room to someone else, do you?
03:08Because there's no way we can cope, Phil.
03:11Of course.
03:17Next, he says Nigel's safe.
03:20Right.
03:21Right, well, you'd better tell them to bring him back here.
03:22Julie, Julie, could you just stop, please?
03:27So where are they?
03:30Ain't it obvious?
03:31No, I'm...
03:32I'm just saying, you know, right,
03:33technically short,
03:34Bon Voyage quite needs the mark.
03:36Well, is that her happy birthday?
03:38There ain't exactly a mark here
03:39for last pint in the Vic banners.
03:40What about some streamers?
03:41There might be some in the Christmas box.
03:45It's a cruel disease, innit?
03:47Hey, half an hour well spent,
03:48right?
03:49So if there's one person
03:50who knows how to live in the moment,
03:51squeeze it out of the choice,
03:53called Lexi Pearce.
03:54No, I'm not sure this is good for her,
03:55you know.
03:56Come little Lexi's posting messages
03:57on the neighbour's chat.
03:59Oh!
03:59I've always got something
04:00just out of the oven.
04:01Yeah, my dad'll be over as soon as
04:02but he's having eel issues,
04:04can you remember?
04:04I've got some nice butter icing on it,
04:06can I bring it to you?
04:07Yeah, go and take it,
04:07it's lovely.
04:08Place Lexi, though,
04:09what a good idea.
04:11Nigel's just part of here,
04:12isn't he?
04:12Albert swears on his bones.
04:14Oh, you know.
04:15Talk to the witch.
04:16That's him.
04:16Is it?
04:17Hiya.
04:19Peace.
04:22Hey!
04:40I heard from the back.
04:43Are you alright?
04:44You know,
04:46just getting my head around the fact
04:47that my dad can recognise a pub
04:48but not his own daughter.
04:50Oh, look.
04:51Don't listen to me.
04:53I'm hardly the priority,
04:54I'm...
04:54just...
04:55I know, shocked.
04:56Shocked.
05:00He tried to contact you
05:01but you've got a new number.
05:03I'd have been here.
05:05I'd have come back.
05:07I just can't believe
05:08he doesn't know who I am.
05:10Well,
05:11you're not giving him a chance
05:12stood out here,
05:13are you?
05:14No.
05:14Right, come on.
05:15Or we'll have you a drink.
05:17Oh.
05:18How's that handsome husband of yours?
05:20Your little girl,
05:20she's not little any more.
05:22No.
05:26Oh!
05:28Oh!
05:28When Nigel went behind,
05:29I don't think he was talking about Prosecco.
05:31Yeah, well,
05:31certainly very good not to.
05:35Congratulations!
05:36Everyone's got an opinion.
05:38I mean,
05:38it's not like Nigel knows what he says,
05:40is it?
05:42Quite like this,
05:43it's a thought that counts.
05:46There you go.
05:47Of course,
05:48it should really be a pint of
05:49oranges and lemons.
05:51Remember?
05:52The cocktail we all had
05:53at your birthday party?
05:55The first night your mum and dad met.
05:57I introduced them.
05:58Mm-hmm.
06:02Yeah,
06:03he bought me a pint more than once,
06:05in the down times.
06:06Good listener.
06:07What?
06:08Messing up your Santa Claus, Lance?
06:10Yeah.
06:11I mean, you've got some homework.
06:14Hey,
06:14Dot always said,
06:16the best pot and lemon
06:17this side of Beckham.
06:18Oh, yeah.
06:19God knows,
06:20Jim tried to top him.
06:22Yeah, according to Dad,
06:23the only man who could set Grant Mitchell straight
06:25and walk away still wearing his own face.
06:28I've always reckoned
06:29you preferred a nice cup of tea to a pint.
06:36Let's see.
06:43You gonna have a sip?
06:45All this stuff are getting you back in.
06:46Turn in one.
06:47That is inappropriate, Maureen.
06:53I'll get us a drink.
06:54Well, if you want to talk about drinking,
06:56has anyone heard the story about
06:58Nigel and Ricky Butcher's dad do?
07:00No.
07:03Well, they all woke up hanging.
07:05In a field.
07:06Apparently.
07:08Don't know where they got there,
07:10where they are.
07:10Summer mentions a ferry,
07:12probably Grant.
07:13Looks like France.
07:15Must be France, right?
07:16Anyway, this is urgent
07:18because this is the actual day
07:19of Ricky and Bianca's wedding.
07:21Oh.
07:22Nigel's the only one with an hour level.
07:24So we volunteer, start speaking French.
07:27Well, the poor farmer hasn't got a clue
07:28what he's saying
07:29because they're not in France at all.
07:32They're in Kent.
07:33LAUGHTER
07:34LAUGHTER
07:40Bonjour.
07:51Friend of Chelsea's?
07:54I don't think we've met.
07:56I'd, uh, remember your face.
07:58Large one, is it?
08:01I doubt it.
08:02No, thanks.
08:04Cheers.
08:05God loves a try, eh?
08:07LAUGHTER
08:13What the hell's the whole plan up?
08:15Oh, back off, can you?
08:19So, Nigel's fine, yeah?
08:21He's safe, just...
08:23Just let him have this.
08:25Just...
08:25It's 20 minutes.
08:30Yeah.
08:32LAUGHTER
08:34LAUGHTER
08:47Why are you following me in here like some middle-aged stalker?
08:50Have you come to tell me off?
08:53You're not the step-mum any more.
08:54You're not my teacher
08:55and I'm not that screwed-up teenager in your way, Julie, all right?
08:58Oh, I never thought that.
09:00Don't do it.
09:02Do not do that.
09:04Act like you're perfect because you're not.
09:07Because none of us are.
09:09All this play in poor me, it does my head in.
09:12Do not pretend that your life didn't get a whole lot easier once I left.
09:16Well, we certainly had more money in the bank.
09:20Your dad missed you.
09:24OK, so, yeah, in, er...
09:26in some ways it was.
09:28Yeah.
09:30And you wonder why I never came home for Christmas.
09:33Nigel just wanted to meet his granddaughter.
09:36No, Julie.
09:37Not enough.
09:39You won.
09:40OK?
09:42You won.
09:43And I'm not interested in you or your opinions.
09:47I...
09:48I'm just gutted.
09:50He doesn't know who I am.
09:53I am gutted.
09:54You didn't call me when you first found out.
09:58You knew he went missing.
10:01I left you I don't know how many messages.
10:04And now...
10:06I've lost the chance to tell him I'm sorry.
10:10But Dad never called me either, did he?
10:14And I...
10:15I never called him.
10:18This was just one little nice thing I could try and do for him, you know?
10:24One wish.
10:27You don't have the monopoly on loving him, Julie.
10:31You never have.
10:38Yeah, but Nigel's smiling, ain't he?
10:41When did you last see that?
10:44Nigel ain't got his memory.
10:46But the rest of us have.
10:47Listen, if...
10:49If you ever go off like that, without telling us again, I'll...
10:54I'll get Cullen to take your laptop off, you know?
10:56And get him to cancel your phone contracts and all.
11:00But your mum...
11:03Your mum would be proud of you.
11:05I know that.
11:13Then what was it again? More hours in the back van?
11:16A little more minimum wage and...
11:18Commission when you sell a car.
11:20Cos, you know, technically, Lauren has head-earned you.
11:26Priya, relax.
11:28You know, most normal people celebrate to get a new job.
11:31Most normal people ain't waiting for a drugs gang to torch their house.
11:35Yeah, I told you I should mark down. Can you just...
11:39Will you just trust me?
11:41Yeah.
11:42As soon as you give me one good reason to.
11:46Victoria Sandwich Nigel, your firm favourite.
11:48I'll be making you one of these every week when you get yourself settled.
11:54Oh, hi.
11:55This favourite.
11:56You want me to get you a slice, Dad?
11:59You.
12:00Judy.
12:01Judy!
12:02Judy!
12:03It's all right, it's all right.
12:05Hey.
12:06Cosco.
12:07With a bit of a name change.
12:09Hey.
12:11It's not his all-time favourite, though, is it, Claire?
12:14Years back it was...
12:16It was Donuts.
12:18From the bakery by the swimming pool.
12:21Wasn't it, love?
12:23Yeah.
12:24He used to take Claire swimming every Saturday.
12:28That time you, erm...
12:30You made him go with you up to the top diving board.
12:35Three flights up it was.
12:36And then you...
12:38got cold feet.
12:40Turned around and walked all the way back to the bottom.
12:44I was only thirty.
12:46And you...
12:47You felt obliged.
12:49You didn't want to hold the queue up.
12:51And he hates heights.
12:54Never seen a belly flop like it.
12:57And you always used to pick up...
13:00those sugary donuts...
13:02and bring them home with you.
13:03Yeah.
13:06And...
13:07every weekend...
13:09the pair of you would...
13:10have a competition.
13:12In the kitchen.
13:15To see who could hold off from...
13:17licking their lips first.
13:20I always won.
13:22I always let you in.
13:25and made her laugh.
13:30Dad.
13:35Claire.
13:44So...
13:45sort it to break things up, that's...
13:47Yeah, erm...
13:49someone...
13:49has got a new home they need to move into.
13:52Oi!
13:53Finished the pint.
13:55I'm biased.
13:57Erm...
13:57Lexi, would you...
13:59come back and help the pack after tea?
14:03And erm...
14:04maybe you and Claire can settle Nigel in and I'll...
14:06I'll bring his case along later.
14:11Right.
14:12How about God of Honour?
14:15Well, he's not going to walk.
14:16Yeah, she's right.
14:18Well, you could still go see him.
14:19Exactly.
14:21I've already made a group chat.
14:22So everybody needs to tick off which day is best for them...
14:25because we don't all want to turn up the same time.
14:31What's going on?
14:32Where are you going?
14:33I'm sorry.
14:33But I know I've been-
14:34How can you feel about?
14:36On the road when you missin' home?
14:40Why you know you're lover when you let her go?
14:46And you let her go
15:16He's no kind of like, is he?
15:17I think so
15:45Who is she?
16:09You sit down
16:17and we can move your photographs around how you want once you've had time to have a look
16:21your wife julie isn't it what would you put on your slippers nice little crochet blanket
16:27and we'll have a look at where your new bedroom is and the new bathroom
16:36come on mary let's get you back get a nice cup of tea for you we'll have a look at
16:42your new bed
16:43and the loo we've had the hospital discharge summary through great well we just need to do
16:51our basic medical check and i expect a nurse want to have a bit more of a thorough look at
16:56you
16:56don't want that pneumonia back and this is you soon feel like home
17:05it's like a a thousand cups gradual chipping away
17:11it's been a while now since you and phil have been taking such good care of him
17:16i think the night the hospital stay really took its toll on nigel
17:22i've been telling patrick what an excellent job you've both been doing
17:26i can't remember my name i don't even think he knows where i am most of the time
17:33it's just um it's just waiting for you know it's just
17:37it's just been such a big build-up i feel like i'm wearing heavy coats
17:41i know there's no practical alternative but i just feel like such a bad person
17:46i don't want him to go hush hush hush hush julie julie julie julie julie hush hush hush
17:55look the care home we pray will be the best place for you
18:04you and phil have done all that you could
18:07you have nothing to be guilty for
18:11i'm not choosing this
18:14it's just
18:15little tiny flashes you know
18:22nigel's already gone as
18:30you
18:31take it off me
18:32you just need to give your arm a gentle hug
18:34no it's not
18:34i don't want a gentle hug
18:36it's just it's for your blood pressure that's all
18:38i haven't got any blood pressure
18:41you're a flippity gibbet
18:43so's your mum
18:44oh poor thing you've got a sore nose
18:47you you're useless you're no good to me
18:49i bet you ten thousand quid you can't make me better in ten minutes
18:56yeah go on
18:57do you need the toilet
18:57his brother tried to kill me
18:59grant
18:59yeah
19:00it was at home
19:01i was in the bath
19:03and his brother's pushing me down
19:05trying to drown me
19:06i'm soaked
19:07look at me
19:08it's your brother
19:09grant
19:10look
19:11soaked
19:14alright
19:14alright it's alright
19:17why don't we take a minute
19:19yeah
19:19get you tidied up
19:23come on
19:25there we are
19:35well we've got to be realistic i mean it's bound to get worse
19:42everything
19:45nigel didn't want everything he left scotland to spare me from
19:50i suppose we've just got to find a way to get detached a bit
19:55well i mean that's what all the online forums say and i've been on enough of those
20:01it's not that easy to do though
20:04no
20:04yeah
20:06yeah
20:07but you're not on your own
20:09half of the square has already signed up to visit him
20:11yeah
20:13i'm married to him though
20:15nigel will always
20:17he'll always have my heart
20:19the heart of the heart of an honourable woman
20:24you know
20:27we've had so many happy years
20:31and whatever time there is
20:35now that this is what it's come to then i will visit a man who looks like my husband
20:40i'll do my best to keep him cheerful and make sure he's safe
20:46find joy in little things like um
20:49like a cup of tea and a plate of bourbon biscuits
20:54for the wonderful wonderful nigel and you
21:01and
21:02it's the least he deserves
21:05if i can make his life better
21:08then
21:10i need to be there for him
21:14don't i
21:20tell julia
21:21oh god come and see the family
21:23just tell julia i'll visit
21:42mind you we'll settle down
21:45he's sleeping
21:46i'm gonna go in
21:49this is
21:52this is wrong
21:53this is wrong
21:55how is this
21:59how is this
22:00making his life any better
22:03transfer trauma is not uncommon in residents with
22:08how could it have been any worse than
22:10him
22:11dying of
22:13pneumonia in hospital you know
22:14they could have just let him slip away
22:16you know some sort of
22:18some sort of
22:19dignity
22:20this
22:24this place to smell
22:30i suppose this is how you do your job
22:32because you
22:35you didn't know him did you
22:37you didn't know Nigel
22:38he's
22:41Nigel's
22:44he's a
22:45kind
22:46general bloke
22:47he's
22:48he likes
22:50he likes old films
22:53stuff like that and this
22:54this is not
22:57this is not how his life should end
23:00you know i mean this place
23:01just waiting for the acts to fall with
23:04we're kind of dogs don't we
23:06mr mitchell
23:07he's in there
23:09he's in there terrified
23:12lost in
23:13you know
23:14dementia
23:15Nigel's
23:17Nigel's disappeared
23:20his body's just
23:22his body's just keeping going innit
23:24it's obvious
23:25how hard you've been working
23:27this is a big adjustment
23:33this is torture
23:34you don't deserve
23:36this you know
23:37i owe Nigel everything
23:39he's
23:42he's my best
23:43mate
23:46perhaps
23:48maybe
23:48could be helpful for both you and Nigel
23:51if
23:51you take a break
23:54short or as long as you need
23:56let him adjust to his new routine here with us
24:01sometimes
24:04having a bit of space
24:06can help new residents adjust more easily
24:09we'll keep you updated
24:11plan for you to come back
24:13if
24:13when
24:13you've
24:15you know had some time to rest
24:17get your strength back
24:19maybe
24:21you should let us
24:22take care of the both of you
24:23for a while
24:26do you know what
24:34i can't
24:35i can't
24:36i can't do it
24:38i can't do it
24:40care of burnout
24:43we see it all the time
24:45there's nothing to be ashamed of
24:46i'm sorry
24:47i'm sorry
24:48i'm sorry
24:50i'm sorry
24:50excuse me
24:56no
25:40i'm sorry
25:42i'm sorry
25:42i'm sorry
25:44for
25:45for letting you down
25:48i love you Nigel too
25:51i love you
25:55i can't
25:56i can't help
25:58i can't
26:00i can't watch
26:01i can't
26:03i can't
26:03i can't do this
26:05i'm sorry
26:09i can't be here
26:11i can't be here
26:14for you anymore
26:15Nigel
26:15i can't be here
26:28for you anymore
26:31Nigel
26:33i can't
26:38Come on.
26:39Come on.
26:40Come on.
26:41Come on.
26:41Give it to me.
26:43There's no one in there.
26:45There's no one in there.
26:46There's no one in there.
26:46It's not in there.
26:48You can't.
26:49You should drive.
26:50.
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