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00:15Oh, my God.
00:17Oh, my God.
00:18I can't watch.
00:20What's happening?
00:22Did she go in the room?
00:24What was that?
00:27Is the killer there?
00:29He's there, isn't he?
00:30Isn't he?
00:32Ah!
00:37Hey!
00:38I was watching that.
00:42Well, Sidney should be home soon.
00:44What time is it?
00:45It's almost 11.
00:46Hey, remember how Mom would set an alarm clock
00:48so she wouldn't fall asleep before our curfew?
00:50She was so uptight.
00:51All right.
01:01The brownies are ready.
01:03Oh, brownies.
01:06Nice work.
01:07You got her into the kitchen.
01:09Another 3,000 miles and we're home free.
01:12Hey.
01:13Hi.
01:14How was the movie?
01:15Flame.
01:15Who all went?
01:16A bunch of us.
01:17Did you have fun?
01:18Mom, what is this?
01:19The third degree?
01:21Sidney, how was the movie?
01:22It was awesome.
01:23It was me, Denny, Steve, Vicky, and guess who?
01:27James!
01:30Come on, I'll tell you everything.
01:33I know she's a teenager and I'm just her mother and all,
01:35but it's not like I'm some uptight fuddy-duddy.
01:46Backup alarm.
01:49You know we don't have to talk about it.
01:53We got it different ways.
01:55But you know in the end we can laugh about it.
01:58Even though we can drive each other crazy.
02:01You know we don't have to worry.
02:04Even if we were loud.
02:05And we love each other anyway.
02:08La, la, la, la, la, la.
02:13Hey.
02:15Are Mom and Dad home?
02:16Why?
02:17Do I need to get the hickey scarf again?
02:20I failed my geography midterm and I have to get it signed.
02:23I'm so dead.
02:24Okay, first of all, this huge blue state.
02:27That's the ocean.
02:31Look, I picked all the tomatoes from our garden.
02:34We don't have a garden.
02:36So then that's not our jacuzzi either.
02:41Hey, Aunt Faith.
02:43Can my teacher have your autograph?
02:45Why, of course.
02:46Maybe now you'll get an A.
02:48Sydney, an A is the letter that looks like a teepee.
02:54Oh good, everyone's home.
02:57We're cleaning out the attic.
02:59Look, we have to get rid of the things we don't want anymore.
03:02Come on, Faith.
03:02Hop in the box.
03:10Shanowski, some are home.
03:11Some are home, some are not.
03:15James.
03:16Dad, give me the phone.
03:17James who?
03:17James Taylor?
03:18James Earl Jones?
03:19James and the Giant Peach?
03:20Come on.
03:22What do we know about this James anyway?
03:24We know he's desperate.
03:27He's 17, just moved here from California, and he plays the guitar.
03:31I saw the mashing faces.
03:36I don't like that we haven't met him.
03:38I've met him.
03:39And he's adorable.
03:40You met him?
03:41When?
03:42The other day, after school.
03:44Oh.
03:46Well, I just think any guy who's interested in a girl should at least introduce himself
03:50to her parents.
03:51I mean, if he's a gentleman.
03:52You're right.
03:53Oh my God!
03:55It's my high school diploma.
03:57Oh, I'll never forget graduation day.
04:00I was wearing my baby blue gown.
04:02It was so beautiful.
04:03And when they called my name and crowned me queen...
04:05Faith, that was the prom.
04:09You didn't go to your graduation.
04:10You were in Hollywood doing star search.
04:12And let me tell you, that Ed McMahon sure is handsy.
04:16Anyway, I may not have been there for the ceremony, but no one can take away this.
04:21Hey.
04:22My diploma.
04:24It's not in here.
04:25Maybe it's just too embarrassed to come out.
04:33Attention all lactose intolerant students.
04:36Apparently, today's lunch special was not dairy-free.
04:40Anyone experiencing bloating or gas should report to nurse Faith Fairfield.
04:47Gloria, right?
04:48Yes!
04:49I have to ask you, what was it like kissing Taylor Nash?
04:53On the show?
04:55Or in my dressing room?
04:58Faith seems to have misplaced her high school diploma, and we were wondering if you could
05:01get us a copy.
05:02Let me just pop down to the basement, see what I can do.
05:04Thank you, Gloria.
05:06Mrs. Shanowski.
05:08Oh, Mr. Lewis.
05:09Hello.
05:10Welcome back.
05:11So, how are things down under?
05:16It's a rather personal question, isn't it?
05:20No, I'm talking about your cruise to Australia.
05:23Sydney said that's why her aunt had to sign her failed midterm.
05:27Sydney failed her midterm?
05:28And you signed it?
05:30No, I didn't.
05:32Did I?
05:34Hugs and kisses, as I recall.
05:38Could you excuse us for a minute?
05:43Faith.
05:43I didn't know it was her midterm.
05:45She told me her teacher wanted my autograph, I swear.
05:50Sydney Shanowski, report to the principal's office.
05:52Immediately.
05:55Don't look at me like that.
05:56You're the one that went to Australia without me.
06:06Hey, did somebody die?
06:08Not yet.
06:10You know, Sydney, it's bad enough that you failed your midterm,
06:14but tricking your Aunt Faith into signing it,
06:16that was really very clever.
06:19In a very bad way.
06:21This is becoming a habit, young lady.
06:24And it stops right now.
06:25Sydney, you're grounded for one month.
06:28That means no telephones, no TV, and no James.
06:31No James?
06:32That's not fair.
06:34Aunt Faith.
06:35Well, a month really is a very long time.
06:39But...
06:43You will have plenty of time
06:46to think about what you've done wrong.
06:50Because?
06:53Because there are more important things in life than boys?
06:58Such as?
07:01Such as?
07:03Measuring textbooks!
07:06No, education!
07:09I'm just saying that because they want you to.
07:11That is not true, Sydney.
07:13You can have fun in life
07:14and still get an education.
07:16And I have a little piece of paper to prove it.
07:20Honey, you gotta pick up your cues.
07:24Actually, Miss Fairfield,
07:25you failed your 12th grade French final,
07:28so technically,
07:29you didn't graduate high school.
07:35Okay, you got me.
07:36Where are the cameras?
07:37Where are they?
07:40Oh, my God.
07:42It's true.
07:43It is?
07:44See, all I did was fail one midterm.
07:47Aunt Faith is a high school dropout,
07:49and she became a famous soap star.
07:51Who now sleeps in the twin bed next to you.
07:55Look, Sydney,
07:56your Aunt Faith might not have a diploma now,
07:58but that's going to change.
08:01Because?
08:02I don't want to play anymore.
08:05Because she's going to study her butt off
08:08and retake that French final
08:09and graduate.
08:11You are?
08:15Yes.
08:16Yes, I am.
08:18I don't care how long it takes.
08:20I don't care what I have to do.
08:22But I will get my diploma, Sydney.
08:26All right, Sydney.
08:27Back to class.
08:32Okay, what's it going to take to buy a diploma?
08:41Ah, school.
08:43Knowledge.
08:44Academia.
08:46I'm very uncomfortable here.
08:48Oh, come on.
08:49You'll be fine.
08:50Now, I have a PTA meeting at 5 o'clock,
08:52and I'll meet you in the house afterwards, okay?
08:54Okay.
08:55Aunt Faith, hi!
08:57Oh, Mom, what are you doing here?
08:59I'm just taking your aunt to French class
09:01so she can pass that final
09:02and join the ranks of educated women.
09:05Yeah, right.
09:06It isn't enough you grounded me,
09:07you have to come spy on me, too.
09:09That's not true.
09:10Well, you don't have to.
09:11James and I have totally different schedules.
09:13I haven't seen or talked to him
09:14since last Tuesday.
09:15Way to go, Hope.
09:16She missed their one-week anniversary.
09:19That's the foundation for everything.
09:22When her schoolwork and attitude improves,
09:26she can see James.
09:28You just don't want me to be happy.
09:31How can you stand seeing her like that?
09:34I have to do what's best for her.
09:39Can't you come with me?
09:40You know how I hate to be the oldest person in a room.
09:45All right.
09:46I'll go to one class.
09:48I mean, mercy.
09:49It's pronounced,
09:51Merci.
09:52How do you pronounce,
09:54Luzaire?
09:55Luzaire.
10:00Hey, hey, Count Dorkula,
10:02back here with the cool kids.
10:04I like to be able to see the board.
10:07Hey, look.
10:08It's James.
10:10Hi, James.
10:11Do you remember me?
10:13What am I saying?
10:13Of course he does.
10:15And this is Sydney's mom, Hope.
10:17Miss Shanowski,
10:18it's so nice to meet you.
10:20I'm sorry if I distracted Sydney from her schoolwork,
10:22and I totally respect your decision to ground her.
10:25Glad to have your support.
10:27So,
10:28who's the girl you walked in with?
10:30Oh, her?
10:30She's just a friend.
10:32My heart belongs to your daughter.
10:34Aww.
10:37Bonjour, class.
10:39I am Monsieur Garrett.
10:42Please take your seats.
10:44C'est un plaisir,
10:45Madame Shanowski.
10:47What did he say?
10:49Loosely translated,
10:50I'm just a snake
10:51who can't be trusted with your daughter.
10:53Wow, he's like fluent.
10:55Excuse me, ladies.
10:57If you're through chit-chatting,
11:00perhaps we can begin.
11:01Je m'excuse.
11:02Ah, parlez-vous français?
11:05Oui, en petit peu.
11:07Je m'appelle Hope Shanowski,
11:09mais ça fait longtemps que j'ai...
11:11No one likes a show-off.
11:15First up,
11:16let's review conjugating irregular verbs.
11:22For example,
11:24the infinitive
11:25au revoir.
11:27To want.
11:28I want.
11:29To get out of here.
11:33Shh.
11:34I want.
11:35To know where he got that tie.
11:38Stop.
11:39We're trying to conjugate.
11:41Psst.
11:43Look what I made.
11:46It's a cootie catcher.
11:48Oh.
11:49Put it away.
11:50Come on.
11:51Don't you want to know
11:52who you're going to marry next?
11:54No.
11:55Could be David Cassidy.
11:59All right.
12:00Four.
12:03Is my teaching
12:05interrupting your talking?
12:08Sorry.
12:14Stop it.
12:17Stop it.
12:18What is wrong with you?
12:22That's exactly why
12:23you're a 33-year-old
12:24high school senior.
12:27Bonjour.
12:30Au revoir.
12:31That means goodbye.
12:33Maintenant no.
12:35That means now.
12:37I know.
12:39I know.
12:42Getting back to verb conjugation.
12:46Let's begin by
12:47conjugating the verb
12:49in the first person.
12:50Javert.
12:52Remember, class,
12:53when conjugating irregular verbs,
12:55it is important to remember
12:57the numerous exceptions
13:00to the rules.
13:03Tenth,
13:03one,
13:04which is valid.
13:09No one will be home
13:11this afternoon.
13:12Why don't you come over
13:13at 4.30
13:13for a little
13:14tete-a-tete?
13:29Oh, Sidney,
13:30there you are.
13:30Hurry up.
13:31You've got to get ready.
13:31James won't be here
13:32any minute.
13:33James?
13:34Yeah.
13:34Are you serious?
13:35What about Mom?
13:35She won't be home
13:36for a while,
13:36and 20 quick make-out minutes
13:38isn't going to hurt anybody.
13:39You're so cool.
13:40Okay.
13:41But then you're going
13:42to have to study.
13:43I will.
13:43I promise.
13:44Okay.
13:46What should I wear?
13:48Well,
13:48you want him
13:48to love you
13:49for your mind.
13:50What?
13:51I'm kidding!
13:52Your good butt jeans
13:53and your pink midriff!
13:59Hi, James.
14:00Come on in.
14:03So,
14:04uh,
14:05we're all alone?
14:07Yeah,
14:07everyone's gone,
14:08but we don't have much time.
14:0920 minutes tops.
14:10Oh,
14:10that's plenty.
14:11I just want to
14:12thank you
14:13for doing this.
14:15It's my pleasure.
14:16Can I get you
14:16something to drink?
14:18Scotch rocks.
14:19Or water.
14:20Water's good.
14:21Is my skateboard
14:22okay out there?
14:24You seem nervous.
14:25No,
14:25I'm not nervous.
14:26It's just that,
14:27uh,
14:28has the 20 minutes
14:28started yet?
14:30You are so cute.
14:31Now listen,
14:32I want you to make
14:33the most of this
14:33because this may be
14:34your only chance
14:35to do this.
14:36But if it goes well,
14:37can we do it again?
14:40Don't get greedy, mister.
14:41You should consider yourself
14:42pretty lucky.
14:45Oh, believe me,
14:46I do.
14:47This is like
14:47the greatest thing
14:48in my life.
14:49Listen,
14:50why don't you
14:50make yourself
14:50comfortable
14:51and I'll put
14:51on some music.
14:52Okay.
14:53You know,
14:53I don't want you
14:54to get the wrong idea.
14:55I really don't like
14:56sneaking around like this.
14:58But I figure
15:01lunch is not
15:01going to hurt anybody,
15:02you know.
15:04So do you sleep
15:04with a lot
15:05of high school kids
15:06or...
15:06What?
15:10What are you doing?
15:11You said we only
15:11had 20 minutes,
15:12so...
15:13Oh, my God!
15:15Oh!
15:21What is going on here?
15:23You said no one was home.
15:25Faith!
15:25I can't explain.
15:27No, I can't.
15:29What are you doing?
15:31Your aunt passed me a note.
15:32She said she wanted me
15:32to come over for
15:33a tent-a-tent.
15:34A tent-a-tent?
15:35Not with me,
15:36with Sidney.
15:37With Sidney?
15:40How could you do this?
15:42How could I not?
15:44Get out of my house.
15:46Hey, honey.
15:47I'm home.
15:57What's all the door slamming?
15:58Oh, boy!
15:59Am I so glad to see you.
16:03Great.
16:04What'd you break?
16:05Nothing.
16:06Can't a girl be thrilled
16:07to see her favorite
16:08brother-in-law?
16:09Oh, no.
16:11Not the car.
16:12Hi, honey.
16:13Hi, Daddy.
16:14Okay, what's going on?
16:15Nothing.
16:17Oh, my God!
16:19What?
16:19I just realized.
16:20I forgot to get
16:22parsley for dinner tonight.
16:25From parsley for dinner?
16:27Yes.
16:28Yes, and you have to go get some.
16:29Right now.
16:30Be sure to go to a lot of stores
16:32and make sure you get the freshest.
16:33Stop!
16:37Something's going on here.
16:41What makes you think that?
16:42Well, for starters,
16:44you and your sister appear
16:45to be on the same side.
16:47Last time that happened,
16:48I had to sit through
16:48the divine secrets
16:49of the Yah-Yah Sisterhood.
16:52Okay.
16:53But you have to promise
16:54not to get upset.
16:55Just tell me what's going on!
16:56We all just got our periods!
17:07Parsley it is.
17:12Go to your room.
17:14Not you!
17:16You.
17:17Mom!
17:18Now!
17:28Give me one good reason
17:30I don't throw you
17:31out of my house right now!
17:32Because I'm your sister.
17:34And you love me.
17:35And I'm a tax write-off?
17:37Ugh!
17:38This is exactly
17:39the kind of stunt
17:39you would have pulled
17:40when you were Sydney's age!
17:41And you're still doing it!
17:42You were right.
17:43I was wrong.
17:44That boy is a sneak.
17:46That boy is not the problem.
17:48You are!
17:50Ever since you moved in,
17:52Sydney's attitude has changed,
17:53her grades have gone down,
17:54and it's all because of you!
17:57You're just as immature
17:58as she is!
17:59Why?
18:00Because I can relate to Sydney?
18:02Because when she talks,
18:03I listen?
18:05You're just jealous.
18:08You're right.
18:11I am jealous.
18:13Don't you think I'd like
18:14to go shopping with her
18:15and talk about boys
18:17and be cool?
18:19But I'm her mother,
18:21not her best friend.
18:25It's my job to protect her.
18:28But I need your help.
18:31You're not just her cool aunt.
18:34You're like another parent to her.
18:37I am?
18:41Yes.
18:42And you have to start
18:44thinking like one.
18:46I never thought of it
18:47like that before.
18:50I'm a parent.
18:55No snacks before bed.
18:59Put your seatbelt on,
19:00young lady.
19:01I don't care how fat
19:02you think you look,
19:03you're going to school.
19:07Hey, I can do this.
19:09I know you can.
19:12Because you love Sydney
19:13just as much as we do.
19:15That's true.
19:17And I want...
19:19Excuse me.
19:22I...
19:22To be a good example.
19:28So I'm going to go to the library
19:30with my French books and studies
19:32so I can pass my exam
19:33and get my diploma.
19:40Button up, it's cold out there.
19:42No running with a fork in your mouth.
19:45What do we say about tattoos?
19:47No boys' names
19:48unless you're sure it's love.
19:55Uh, excuse me.
19:56Can I go home now?
19:59Oh!
20:00Oh!
20:00Oh!
20:03Oh!
20:04Oh!
20:04Oh!
20:04Oh!
20:05Oh!
20:06Oh!
20:07Oh!
20:10Oh!
20:11Oh!
20:17Hey.
20:18Hey.
20:20You okay?
20:21I guess.
20:23I sent James home.
20:25Whatever.
20:27Without his clothes.
20:33Now load.
20:34All right.
20:40Now load.
20:42All right.
20:42Hey.
20:43Higgy.
20:44Now load.
20:47Honey.