- 16 hours ago
It'll Be Alright On The Night - Season 37 Episode 7
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00:00This has to stop. You have to change.
00:03I will.
00:07Bless you!
00:27Welcome!
00:27Welcome!
00:29And on the show tonight...
00:30I can know what I really want me to do here.
00:34..a malfunctioning prop...
00:35We have a little incident here.
00:38..getting caught on the hop...
00:40It flustered me for a moment, but I'm back with news and politics now.
00:46..and an unscheduled bus stop.
00:50Whoa!
00:54So, let's kick off the cock-ups.
00:59We start with Ant & Dec's Saturday night takeaway,
01:02and their game, Ring My Bell.
01:04But whose doorbell will be going live tonight?
01:07Yes!
01:07Very good!
01:08Now, we're going to another one.
01:11In three, two, one...
01:13Ding-dong! That's my doorbell!
01:15That is your doorbell!
01:17Panna Chohan from Birmingham!
01:19That is your video doorbell!
01:21So...
01:22To win a prize, she'll need her neighbours to run over to her house
01:25with some dirty laundry.
01:27Dirty laundry!
01:28Though, hopefully, not too dirty.
01:29It is a family show.
01:31Dirty and a better.
01:32He likes it dirty!
01:3445 seconds!
01:35Your time starts now!
01:38Who's that?
01:39What?
01:39What's this?
01:40Who's that?
01:41That's a bit quick, isn't it?
01:43She must have been at the door already.
01:45Hello!
01:47Cynthia!
01:48Hello, Cynthia!
01:49Hi!
01:51Yes!
01:52You're...
01:53You're live on the next Saturday Night Takeaway.
01:56Have you got any dirty laundry with you?
02:00And...
02:00You can't ask that of a lady.
02:04Cynthia!
02:07Cynthia, I might need to speak to the people behind you.
02:11Yeah, don't press it.
02:12Cynthia, don't press it again.
02:15It's going well, isn't it?
02:17Ring my bell!
02:19Yes!
02:20Who's that?
02:20What's your name?
02:21What's your name?
02:25This is chaos.
02:29That's why we love it.
02:30Cynthia, if you could just move out of the way, darling.
02:34Cynthia!
02:35Cynthia, darling!
02:37Pat, do you know her?
02:39She's your neighbour.
02:41Right.
02:42What's your name?
02:43What number do you live up, please?
02:45Madam?
02:45Not you!
02:46Not you!
02:47Not you!
02:49Not you!
02:49Not you!
02:50You!
02:52Oh, we're on your side, Cynthia.
02:54You were there first.
02:57Where should you go?
02:58Right, that's it.
02:59We'll move her out of the way.
03:00Bye, darling!
03:03Can we vote for Cynthia for Best Newcomer at the National Television Awards?
03:07She'd get my vote.
03:08We might need to move on, but because we can see a lot of people there with dirty laundry, you
03:15win £500.
03:16And the woman who got their first, this woman here, who got their first, £18 over, wins £500 as well.
03:26And just to be clear, Cynthia wins now.
03:31Our Dancing on Ice champions, Ryan and Marty!
03:36This is the moment Ryan Thomas became a Dancing on Ice champion.
03:40On the night, he was graceful and elegant, but earlier that same day...
03:46OK.
03:48Big arms.
03:49Yes.
03:56Nearly!
03:57Ryan, that's not what they meant when they said break a leg.
04:00Yeah, can we get this off?
04:03OK.
04:04I'd say put some ice on it, but it was the ice that hurt you in the first place.
04:14Emma Dale, we all love it for the way it balances serious drama with light-hearted moments of comedy.
04:20Some actors are so good, they can emote sorrow and silliness, all in the same line.
04:27I don't care.
04:29Because all that matters to me, right now, is you.
04:34And tomorrow, or the next day, when you're out with your mates,
04:40I'll have a drink, and I think, and it'll build and build, and God knows what I'll do.
04:48I hear BAFTA calling!
04:54Or say.
04:56Oh, they've hung up.
05:04It's Changing Ends, the autobiographical comedy about Alan Carr's childhood.
05:10And I'm afraid to say, this next scene stinks.
05:13Although that's nothing to do with the acting, and more to do with the catering.
05:18Alan!
05:19Oh, my God!
05:20Graham!
05:21Brian!
05:22Yeah?
05:24I think he's dead.
05:26No, he just made a smell like death.
05:28He will be dead in a minute, because I'm going to kill him!
05:32Is that another one?
05:34Oh, no!
05:35It's the Taco Bell!
05:37You did it!
05:37It's the Taco Bell!
05:38Yes, I'm afraid he did.
05:43A league of their own, and in sport, there are no second chances.
05:47But thankfully, in comedy, they do let you have another go.
05:51OK, now, let's move on to England cricket captain Ben Stokes.
05:54Here he is after a tea break was called, and he remembered that there were jammy dodgers.
05:59Um...
06:00Obviously, that would have worked if I'd have read it like an actual f***ing person.
06:04Um...
06:04OK, now, let's move on to England cricket captain Ben Stokes.
06:07Here he is after a tea break was called, and he remembered that I had...
06:11Oh, f***ing f***ing my life.
06:16We're off to the Wirral for Goet.
06:19A sitcom full of talented young actors who have no problem slipping into character.
06:24It's slipping into costume they struggle with.
06:27So what are you doing here then?
06:29Is that secret millionaire show coming back for the posh kids?
06:32Oh, I can't get it on, Simon.
06:34I can't get it on.
06:36Back to changing ends, where nothing has changed at all.
06:40Oh, Sean, was that you?
06:42That was me growling.
06:44Oh, no, did you... Can you smell that?
06:46No, it's not me. I would not do that.
06:48Oh, Colin.
06:48I would not do that in a car. Is that you?
06:51No, it wasn't me.
06:52Do you smell it, David?
06:54Yeah.
06:54Who said the rhyme did the crime?
06:57He's got you there.
07:00What is going on?
07:02I was gridlocked. Gridlocked.
07:04I haven't gone anywhere.
07:06Mexico City, and another Breaking Dad road trip for Bradley and Barney Walsh.
07:11Where's he going?
07:12Usually, it's Barney's stunts that get Bradley's blood pumping.
07:17But today, a simple trip across town will do it.
07:20It's all gone horribly. You can't.
07:22Am I going?
07:24What the...
07:25Uh-oh. Coming through.
07:30Oh!
07:32He's wackly windmill. I can't see Jack now.
07:35Can you see now?
07:35Push it. Push it forward a bit.
07:37Bring it slightly back a bit.
07:39Push it forward a bit.
07:40Could have been worse. You could have both been on a bike.
07:42You're hopeless at that.
07:44This has been hard work driving around here.
07:54Cock-ups on live TV now.
07:57When that red light comes on, you can't rely on anything.
08:01Not even on the laws of physics.
08:03So, cats at the top of the board.
08:04I've assumed the position.
08:07Three, two, one.
08:09Here we go.
08:10Making its way slowly down.
08:12Very slowly down.
08:14Hold on a sec.
08:16So, we have a little incident here.
08:19This occasionally happens on a show that I do.
08:21Does it really, Benjamin?
08:23Very, very, very.
08:23You never see it, though, because, of course, we can edit it.
08:26This is live.
08:26So, I'm going to take this out.
08:27We're going to drop it again.
08:29Lovely, Ben.
08:30There'll be no edit today.
08:31So, play nice with Cat,
08:33or we won't be able to cut out the bit where she clobbers you.
08:35Thank you. Thank you.
08:37It's the first time this week,
08:38and you've already broken the board.
08:40Just pointing it out.
08:43Right. I can break other things, too, you know.
08:47OK. Right. Ready?
08:50With Lorraine away, Ranveer is learning about the ways
08:53we can all improve our memory from Dr Amir Khan.
08:56But in the words of the bard,
08:58Physician, heal thyself.
09:00If you're feeling indulgent, dark chocolate in small quantities
09:03and red wine, again, in small quantities,
09:06do contain polyphenols as well.
09:08That can improve your memory.
09:10Now, there is something else as well, Viagra.
09:13Viagra?
09:15Hello.
09:16Morning, Amir.
09:18Ranveer?
09:19Don't be too hard on him.
09:22Research has also shown that Viagra can improve memory
09:27in men who take it regularly.
09:30Hmm.
09:31Maybe it's time to start popping those little blue pills yourself.
09:34This is dementia by 18%.
09:37On Loose Women, Anton Dubeck proves why you should never,
09:41ever leave a guest in charge of anything important.
09:44One more question for you.
09:46One more question for you.
09:47One more question for you.
09:47Go ahead.
09:47How much can they win in our competition?
09:50900,000!
09:51No!
09:5390!
09:5390,000!
09:55It's 90.
09:5690!
09:5790,000!
09:59Yes!
09:59That got them going!
10:01That got them going!
10:0290,000!
10:04Never, I'm never having him here again.
10:06Too late.
10:06I've already entered.
10:08And I'm going to be furious if I don't win my 900K.
10:14Presenting Good Morning Britain Rob Rinder is about to be faced with his past and it could end up with
10:20Kate on trial
10:21Talking of things remaining hidden. We have a photo. Yes from your student days
10:28I don't want to love you, but just look towards that camera over there camera for you look very similar
10:33You haven't aged a bit
10:36You look good. Have you always bleached your hair when you were little?
10:40Bleach my hair. Have you always been bleached blonde? Have you always loved it?
10:44But you actually think I dyed my hair?
10:47Awkward!
10:49Is that true? You don't dye your hair?
10:52I always assumed you did! Are you serious?
10:55I am serious, yes!
10:57Are you really blonde? Are you naturally that blonde?
11:00I don't know how to prove this to you in a way that's tolerable in the morning
11:04Oh, OK!
11:07Once a judge, always a judge
11:09I think he's just found Kate in contempt
11:16On Morning Live a discussion about interest rates has piqued the interest of someone not in the studio
11:23Lloyds, Halifax and Bank of Scotland are hiking their overdraft rates across several accounts
11:29And their rates are split into a minute
11:31Hang on a minute, hang on a minute
11:31Let's stop the baby monitor on Ginex from reporting Caroline
11:34Stop trying to hide it
11:37She's on the WhatsApp group
11:38Is the help in the WhatsApp group?
11:40I know
11:41I'm so sorry
11:42No at all
11:43Is she OK?
11:44Is she OK?
11:45She's all good
11:45OK
11:46Some people's finances aren't
11:48Let's start again
11:48What's going on with all of us?
11:49Not at all and we know she's all right
11:52Overdrafts
11:52Oh, I think we'd all rather go back to the baby monitor
11:55That's such a thing
11:56Thank you very much, Laura
12:06Coming up, cock-ups on quiz shows
12:09And these shows do have devoted fans
12:11But will they still be devoted after they've taken part?
12:15Now, tell me, did you used to watch the show when it was on with Noel?
12:18Religiously, yeah
12:19I watched it with my Nan all the time
12:21But what could put her off watching it from now on?
12:25Find out after the break
12:39Welcome back for cock-ups on quiz shows
12:42And before the break, we met Deal or No Deal's biggest fan
12:46And I wondered what could put her off watching it from now on?
12:49Let's find out
12:51Now, tell me, did you used to watch the show when it was on with Noel?
12:55Religiously, yeah
12:56I watched it with my Nan all the time
12:58We've got a picture of you with your Nan
13:00Oh, it's not me
13:01It's I think it's the dog
13:02Oh
13:03Oh, God
13:12Wow
13:14I tell you what, you look great there, Katie
13:17I just had a haircut, so it's looking pretty good
13:20No offence taken
13:22No offence taken
13:23She still loves the show
13:24Just not Stephen
13:28Alan Carr's epic game show
13:30And when playing for charity, the celebrities have to hope that they have all the answers
13:34Although there is such a thing as too much information
13:38Oh, you've just got four moves, love
13:40I'm getting a right bead on in this roll neck, Alan
13:43Oh
13:45I have got such a river in my valley
13:49Oh, Richard
13:51What a lovely way to phrase something so unpleasant
13:53Strike the screen, maybe
13:56Strike me, you mean
13:57Yeah
13:58Yeah
13:59Ridiculous
14:00Where sometimes the most ridiculous things are the instructions Henry has received before the show
14:06Henry, should we have another riddle for the viewers?
14:10Yes
14:11Sorry
14:13Sorry, I was told before to not say absolutely
14:16I had a moment about to say absolutely
14:18Why didn't you say no?
14:19No, I'm going to say no
14:19No, actually
14:20Sorry, sorry
14:25Catchphrase
14:25And there's only one thing more stressful than playing to win money for yourself
14:29And that's playing to win money for charity
14:31You've won a mighty £700 for your charity
14:34Joe, remind us where it's going to and what they do
14:36Hang on, I'm going to say this now without laughing
14:39Because that's ****
14:40And I don't
14:42Hang on
14:42It's not funny
14:44Okay, don't worry
14:44Hang on
14:45Well, I'll take it if nobody wants it
14:47Ask me again
14:50Riddle me this
14:51How is Henry getting on with those notes?
14:54That is it for part one
14:55Henry, how about another riddle for the viewers to solve over the break?
14:59Let's do it
15:01Sorry
15:01No
15:03The best thing you ever did was to stop Henry from saying absolutely
15:08Countdown
15:09Where two contestants are aiming for a score that is high by going in a direction that is low
15:14What's the sex, Thomas?
15:16Vagina
15:17And Mike
15:18Vaginas
15:19Vaginas
15:19The extra letter wins
15:20There you go
15:22And, er, it's amazing the difference between one vagina and two
15:26Very different
15:31Brendan
15:34I can know what working what you want me to do here
15:36I don't even know what to do
15:38Poor Colin
15:39He knows that this kind of chat at 2 o'clock in the afternoon is a bit saucy
15:43Even for Channel 4
15:44George
15:45What do you want me to say?
15:47You can do this, Colin
15:49Okay
15:51Mike
15:52Vaginas
15:53Oh
15:53Such a big difference the S makes
15:55A whole different world with an S
15:58It is
15:59I can't argue with you
16:00Yeah, there you go
16:01Good
16:02Good
16:03Continue
16:03Seven
16:03Yes
16:04Anything else other than vaginas?
16:06I can offer you a couple of iguanas
16:12Colin, that's not even a euphemism
16:16I can't imagine how you cope when a contestant asks for two from the top and the rest from the
16:20bottom
16:29News now, and of course the news waits for no one, not even him
16:37You see that, somebody's obviously, er, somebody's late for work this morning
16:41Somebody's hopefully bring us a cup of tea, John, hopefully that's what that is
16:46At that speed you'll be lucky if there's any left in the mug
16:53Another unpredictable day in Westminster makes life equally unpredictable for those who have to cover it
17:00Well, thanks very much indeed
17:01That is, sorry, I was just having a hair crisis, I'm going to be honest
17:04It's alright, it's alright
17:06Yeah, it looks like what it normally looks like
17:08My hair looks messy and it flustered me for a moment, but I'm back
17:13News and politics now, that is our top story
17:16I think the top story should be Adil's bright new future as a hair and make-up artist
17:24What do you need to be a news reader?
17:26Well, the most important thing is GSOH
17:28That's good sense of humour for those of you not on any dating apps
17:32But over the last 20 years, the number of hazel dormice, yes, hazel dormice, has declined by as much as
17:3970% across the UK
17:41It's hoped a new project which sees them re-released into their natural habit could help to restore the population
17:48Is it habit or habitat? I'm probably going to get emails about this
17:51Well, it's habit on the autocue, so what can I say?
17:54Nicola Hasseler has more, and Ron Burgundy
17:57Reporting on extreme weather in Victoria, one Aussie journalist is unaware of how attractive her green dress is to her
18:04fans
18:05Good morning, there is an extreme fire weather warning in place for most of the state
18:10There's more than 1,000 homes and businesses that still have no electricity
18:14Nine days on, so a wild day of weather ahead
18:19Look at the size of that, I hope it doesn't expect to co-present a credit
18:25Where is it?
18:26Ah! Get it off!
18:30Lovely moves, it's like she's pitching cockroach cum dancing, or dancing on lice
18:34By the way, just as I looked up, it was just going off your shoulder, I'm like, oh!
18:42On location, there's only one thing worse than the public spoiling your shot
18:45That's the crew doing it, we can see you
18:49Hello, good evening, welcome to the BBC News at 6, live from the Holyrood Parliament in Edinburgh
18:55On a tumultuous day in Scottish politics
18:59In Germany, they're testing Ed Sheeran's spicy sauce, to see if it gives members of the public shivers
19:05Must be a slow news day
19:11Don't worry, you don't need a GCSE in German to understand what goes wrong
19:16Nein, nein, not the Bob Ritz
19:20Does anyone know the German for a five-second rule?
19:26Now, John has some breaking news
19:28We have, Sally, because...
19:30There are not many people on television who can pull off wearing neon yellow
19:33Without looking washed out
19:35But the BBC's Ben Boulos looks good in everything
19:38That high-vis jacket almost suits him too well
19:42Goods and services were still rising in price compared with 12 months ago
19:47But the rate at which those prices are rising has slowed down again
19:52Now, they look at a typical basket of goods and services
19:55I don't work here, I'm just doing the news
19:57Sorry
19:59Ben, if you don't want to get interrupted, next time, try wearing camo
20:04What was happening just then?
20:08Well, I can tell you, the aubergines are the Peppers £12 a box
20:11So if you want any, I'll pick some up for you
20:13I feel your pain, Ben
20:14I was once mistaken for a flight attendant
20:16Just because I was wearing a cravat and following along with the safety demo
20:20Thanks for fitting us into your shift at the market this morning
20:23That's very kind of you
20:32A big thank you to all the stars and talented production staff for their funny mistakes
20:36Before we go, let's spend a moment with the creme de la crime, McDonald and Dodds
20:43And action
20:48Ready, man
20:49When it comes to forensic detail, these two don't miss a thing
20:56Wrong way, guys, the other door
20:59So this way
21:00We're still rolling
21:03And we're set and
21:05Action
21:07I suppose even the best of us can have an off day
21:09Ready, man
21:16Again?
21:17I take it all back
21:20How did they ever make it through police training?
21:23I was going to do that as a joke
21:25I thought no, because we haven't got time
21:27Very bad
21:29Take three and finally they get it right
21:35Case closed
21:37Thanks for watching
21:38And good night
21:44Doing
22:07Late
22:09For
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