- 2 days ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:01Kia ora, my name is Toby Buchanan and you're listening to episode 6 of my true crime podcast,
00:08Small Town Scandal. Now, before I get into anything, I think I need to explain to you
00:13listeners a little bit about my family history. So there's me, Toby, and then my parents,
00:19Bruce Buchanan and Sue Buchanan, need Watkins. But who we're interested in is Bruce's brother,
00:25my uncle Mitch. Mitch was good at school, good at sports, popular with the boys and very popular
00:30with the girls, and later, very savvy at business. My dad, Bruce, on the other hand, liked to escape
00:37the realities of life with substances of varying degrees. And then everything came to a head
00:42when my father, highly intoxicated, accidentally set a block of shops in town on fire. The town
00:49absolutely hated him. He went to prison for seven years, and after that, my mum left
00:55him. And dad went to Cairns to avoid his reputation. But, like Cain and Abel, did he come back
01:01to town and brutally murder the star of said town? And his brother, Uncle Mitch?
01:11But now, I've just been tipped off that dad was lurking in the park, commemorating the very
01:15fire he started. And here I was thinking he was still in Australia, like some chump.
01:21Dad! Dad! Dad!
01:25Where is he? Dad! Dad!
01:31This chick who's not some crannies, Constable, because he's a slip-brick.
01:35Oh, jeez.
01:38What are you doing here?
01:41Just, uh, some fitness.
01:44Well, we're looking for your dad.
01:47Apparently, he was spotted around here, and we want to talk to him.
01:50Wow, really?
01:51Daddy, help me!
01:53You weren't looking for him as well, by chance?
01:58Dad?
02:00No.
02:01Nah, my dad, no, no.
02:04Um, he's over in Cairns anyway.
02:06So, we're looking for your dad in a park.
02:09You just happen to be doing fitness-ing?
02:15Uh, yeah. I do fitness here all the time.
02:18Oh, what kind of fitness?
02:20Power walking.
02:21Power walking. That's old school.
02:23Good on you.
02:24Yeah.
02:25You look great.
02:27Anyway, Sarge, listen, I better keep going, keep the heart rate up.
02:30You have to, don't you?
02:30Yeah, yeah.
02:31Yeah, it's really effective that way, isn't it?
02:33Yeah, anyway, good luck with your man, hon.
02:42Dad!
02:44Oh, Tudge!
02:45It's so good to see you.
02:47Yeah, yeah.
02:48It's good to see you too, Dad.
02:50The pigs are after me.
02:51Yeah.
02:52Okay, first things first.
02:54Did you kill Uncle Mitch?
02:56No.
02:57No, I didn't.
02:58Oh, thank Christ.
03:00Then why are you in the country?
03:02Well, I got in a bit of trouble over in Ausland.
03:04I thought Mitch might be able to help me out with a bit of a pig.
03:08Shit.
03:09Can you help me get out of here, son?
03:10Please.
03:11Look, if you didn't kill Uncle Mitch, then we should go and tell the pigs.
03:13I didn't kill him.
03:15But I was there when he died.
03:19Come on, come on, come on.
03:21Let's get out of here.
03:21Oh, jeez.
03:22Oh, jeez.
03:25Right under the chur.
03:27Yeah, yeah.
03:28Just keep still.
03:29You end up like Mitch.
03:32I don't even know where to go.
03:34I've been staying at the town dump.
03:36Why?
03:37It's cheap.
03:38Actually, it's free.
03:39It's a perfectly sound mattress that people have just thrown away.
03:42Okay, yeah, okay.
03:47Shit.
03:48Keep still, Dad.
03:50Hi.
03:52Hi.
03:52It's me, Anna.
03:54Um, Katie was trying to set us up at dinner.
03:55Yeah, that's all right.
04:00Shit, what's all that fabric?
04:02Oh, that's, um, chill.
04:04Chill?
04:04Yeah.
04:05What do you need that for?
04:06Uh, my mum's a seamstress.
04:07Really?
04:08Wow.
04:09What does she make?
04:10Listen, I've actually got to go.
04:12I'm so sorry.
04:13Wait, how's your podcast going?
04:15Uh, good.
04:16Yeah?
04:18Hey, have you listened to the latest episode of The Real Mrs Moth?
04:21Please stand up.
04:22No, I haven't.
04:22Oh, it's so good.
04:24It goes into intense detail about the moral pattern she carves on her victims.
04:27And it's been confirmed.
04:29I'm just, yeah.
04:29It is in tech wheel.
04:30I'm sorry.
04:30I'm so sorry.
04:31I've got to keep going.
04:40She seemed nice.
04:43I don't even know where to begin, Dad.
04:45What happened at Oz?
04:47One of my mates died.
04:49We were having a great party.
04:51We were completely maggoted.
04:52Suddenly, he just slipped and fell to his death.
04:56Oh, I didn't stick around.
04:57Because I didn't think I had the emotional capacity to deal with any kind of investigation.
05:02Cops found out I was there, wanting to talk a little.
05:05I didn't want to talk to them.
05:07I thought Mitch might be able to get me one of them top lawyers.
05:11Why?
05:11He owed me Tobes, big time.
05:14If I didn't worship the ground he walked on, I would have murdered Mitch years ago.
05:29Home, sweet home.
05:30Dad.
05:34Mattress got a bit wet.
05:35It's a bit mouldy, but apart from that, everything's fine.
05:38Yeah.
05:39It's a good set up.
05:41You think so?
05:42Yeah.
05:43I sit outside.
05:45Grab a few, son.
05:59In a way, Dad.
06:00Just tell me everything, okay?
06:02And then we can come up with a plan.
06:04So you were at the mansion when Mitch died.
06:07Mitch didn't know I was coming.
06:09I was feeling a bit bloody nervous about it all.
06:15Mitch was a busy man, so I had to pick my moment carefully.
06:23Yeah, apparently he's still baffling about it at his mother, so we'll get him in straight away.
06:28I don't care.
06:30My nephew, unfortunately.
06:32Just find him something managerial.
06:34And do it now.
06:39Yeah, Toby, I was hoping to get hold of you.
06:40Come round to the mansion this afternoon, will you?
06:44I want to talk to you about something.
06:46See you, too.
06:49Hang on.
06:51What are you doing here?
06:54Missy.
06:56Listen, Bruce.
06:57Whatever you want, I can't help you.
07:00It's not that I want something, but...
07:02Lord, the timing.
07:05Wait here.
07:08Wait here.
07:08Wait here.
07:15Stop.
07:17I love you.
07:38so whoever was driving the vehicle with the trailer that's who killed uncle mitch
07:42i didn't get much more than a glimpse of them it's pretty bloody obvious it would be
07:50who
07:57jed jameson
08:00who jed jameson i've never heard of this person oh he's your uncle's rival back in the day
08:06bumped into him in town right after i got back
08:12it was just before mitch he died
08:15jameson
08:17i just want to apologize you know because when that whole building remember that big fire in
08:24boy ho one year old man started
08:29wasn't an accident
08:32me and mitch did it on purpose he agreed to pay off my debts if i took all the blame
08:39why
08:39jed was edging mitch out of the motor mowing business he developed a prototype of his own automated
08:45mower
08:47mitchy was gonna have none of that we decided to burn the whole block down so it wouldn't seem so
08:53targeted
08:54to get out of the picture mitchy could patent his own automated mower
08:59make his millions that way
09:02so there you go
09:03big family secret for you son
09:06wait
09:07jed jameson
09:09there was that note on uncle mitch's desk
09:12j
09:13okay so i had a new lead suspect jed jameson
09:18i've done a little bit of online sleuthing and i found a registered address for jed's gardening services limited business
09:24right
09:25and it's about an hour south of tohoiho so that's where i'm heading
09:30nothing
09:31get it tubs it's maddie
09:33yeah i've just been talking with sergeant brown he said you were down at the park where your dad was
09:36spotted
09:36um no well nah i just well you told me he was down there i was just hoping to help
09:41yeah
09:41was it a nice father son reunion
09:43well no it wasn't because i didn't run into it i didn't see him there so no it wasn't
09:47oh cut the crap tubs
09:48listen if you're helping a criminal on the run you're not just playing with fire mate
09:51you're practically juggling
09:55chainsaws
09:55yeah okay well thanks for your concern but i think i'll be fine okay bye matt see ya
10:00yeah
10:02okay so jed's address is about an hour south of tohoiho in the middle
10:07j
10:08are you still making that flaming podcast
10:10tubs
10:16oh my god oh shit oh shit
10:21what um
10:24are you alright
10:25i am so sorry sir i did not
10:28i did i did
10:30why are you jared from jed's mowing services limited
10:32please ask
10:33My name is Toby, and I'm an invest- well, I'm a journalist, and I was hoping to talk to
10:39you, actually, about your form of business and, well, what happened to it?
10:52Was that a yes?
10:56As a journalist, you sometimes forget safety in the chase of a scoop.
11:07You're still there?
11:09Yes!
11:11That's how I ended up, in a stranger's cabin, in the middle of nowhere.
11:19The interior of Jed Jemison's cabin's a little bit spooky.
11:25Did you tell anyone you were coming to see me?
11:28No, I didn't.
11:32I mean, yes, I did. Um, I've told loads of people for-
11:53What a, um, few animal skins around the place.
11:57It's me passion. Killing pests.
12:01Yeah, lots of possums and, uh, other things.
12:08Right. So, you used to have a business, yeah?
12:14Yes.
12:15Until the great ta-holy-ho birthing?
12:19That's right.
12:20Yeah.
12:22That must have been so upsetting for you when that happens.
12:27That fire.
12:29Was the best thing that ever happened to me.
12:31It was?
12:32Well, my business had never burned down.
12:36I'd never ended up here.
12:38Paradise.
12:42Do you have any thoughts on Mitch Buchanan?
12:49What was that?
12:50A weasel in one of me traps.
12:55What did you say you were here for again?
12:58I am, uh, sorry, yeah.
13:01I'm doing some research because I'm writing Mitch Buchanan's obituary.
13:07Mitch Buchanan was a dirty weasel.
13:11Whoever killed him was a hero.
13:14He did the world a favour.
13:16Wait, how did you know he was killed?
13:20It's only a matter of time.
13:23Those Buchanans are a bad bunch.
13:26Every last one of them.
13:28No, I don't know.
13:31The only good Buchanan is a dead Buchanan.
13:37What did you say your name was again?
13:40Me?
13:41I'm Toby.
13:43Toby.
13:45Jedson.
13:46Jed.
13:47I'm Toby Jedson.
13:50Jed.
13:53That's an interesting name.
13:57A rap this time.
14:02Jed Jemison was clearly guilty.
14:04Revenging Uncle Mitch for the Great Fire of 96.
14:06Which my father started for him.
14:09And to those little bottles of tartia sauce.
14:11Before I went public with this bombshell though,
14:13I stopped to get some food because Dad was probably starving.
14:16But, as I was driving to him, I spied my old friends, the Popo.
14:22Didn't take long to realise they were tailing me.
14:24With the delicious smell of fish and chips filling the car,
14:27I knew I had to start thinking smarter if I was to protect Dad.
14:31I tried to throw them off the scent, but they were like a goddamn dog with a bone.
14:36Always sniffing, circling and seemingly one step ahead.
14:40But they weren't going to trap this little weasel if I had anything to do with it.
15:01Matt, just the person I was hoping to run into.
15:04Listen, I think I've worked out who killed Uncle Mitch.
15:06His name is Jed Jemison.
15:07Right.
15:08And he was an ex-business rival of his.
15:09And, basically, I've got to take confession out of him.
15:11Taves, it's not Jed.
15:13No, it is.
15:14Jed hated Mitch.
15:14He loves killing things.
15:15And, basically, he's-
15:16Tubbs, Jed's as blind as a mole.
15:18Is he?
15:21He's still here.
15:26Paradise.
15:27Oh my God, he is blind.
15:30Look, I'm going to ask you one last time.
15:32Where's your dad?
15:33I don't know where he is.
15:36Geez.
15:37Okay.
15:38What are you toddling off to, then, with this big bag of greases?
15:42I'm visiting my friend.
15:44Bringing where they live here.
15:47They live here?
15:47Yes.
15:48It's your mate's house?
15:49Yes.
15:50So you didn't just turn into a random driveway because you saw me following you?
15:54No.
15:54Well, don't let me stop you.
15:56I beg your pardon?
15:58Well, go on.
15:59They'll be waiting, won't they?
16:00Yeah, they will.
16:01Okay, well.
16:02It was good to see-
16:04It was good to see-
16:07It's-
16:13Oh, they mustn't be home.
16:18I must have got the wrong date or something, I think.
16:24Toby Buchanan?
16:26Mrs. Pettigrew?
16:27And is that, uh, Matt McKenzie?
16:31My goodness, what a surprise.
16:34Have you come to arrest me?
16:36That depends, Mrs. Pettigrew.
16:38From what I remember, you're a bit of a grammar gangster.
16:42Come and see our old English teacher, have you?
16:46I thought you'd show up here eventually, Buchanan.
16:50After all these years, you've finally come to apologise.
16:56Yes.
17:02I'll have two sugar cubes, please.
17:12Right.
17:14I'm ready.
17:16For my apology.
17:19Yes.
17:21Um, okay.
17:23I am so sorry for what I did.
17:34You should be embarrassed.
17:36I am.
17:37A thirteen-year-old should know better.
17:40Where was your self-control, your self-respect?
17:43I don't know where it was.
17:44That jar of lollipops was for the whole class, Toby.
17:49You didn't leave any for the other students.
17:51No, I didn't.
17:53In fact, I think you should apologise to Matt as well.
17:57Matt?
17:58What's that?
18:02Matt, I'm so sorry for the pain I caused you by eating all the lollipops in the jar in third
18:07form English.
18:08Actually, you were repeating that to you, weren't you, Matt?
18:11You know what, um, thanks for the tea, Mrs P.
18:14Uh, I think I'd better shoot off.
18:16Wait, where are you going?
18:17I've got police business, mate.
18:19Police business till 10-2.
18:20So, yeah.
18:20Um.
18:23Historical apologies aside, I was sick with worry about Matt and his texting.
18:27Something fishy was going on, and I'm not talking about the second batch of fish and chips I had to
18:31buy.
18:32And then two of those little bottles of tartare sauce.
18:34And would you like to add the seven spring rolls?
18:37Again?
18:39Yeah.
18:49I assumed that found Dad at the landfill, and we were about to arrest him.
18:53I followed them feebly with no real plan.
18:57Maybe I could talk them out of it?
18:59Maybe I could steal a gun, bust Dad out, hijack a boat, and then flee to a Pacific island?
19:05But then, to my surprise, they weren't headed to the landfill at all.
19:09Or anywhere near Dad's hideout.
19:12Instead, they were heading to...
19:16Mrs Pettigrew's house.
19:19Yeah, hard to say, mate, yeah.
19:22I think just bag it all up and we'll take it down the station.
19:25Oh, don't miss this if there's a few bits in it.
19:27You had a look in the freezer?
19:28You did it now for your bag it all up.
19:30Just did this one.
19:31Easy, Mrs P.
19:33Watch your head, Mrs P.
19:38Tubbs!
19:39What are you doing here?
19:41We just saw the lice, what's happening?
19:42Mate.
19:43I got her.
19:45Mrs Moth.
19:47Mrs Pettigrew, our old English teacher, is Mrs Moth.
19:51You know, like from a podcast.
19:54Killed an estimated 25 people around New Zealand since the 80s.
19:57I don't understand.
19:59Well, I've kind of got you to thank for it, don't I?
20:00I mean, you led me right to her.
20:02See, when we were sitting in there earlier, something caught my eye.
20:05It was the tea sun.
20:06In the sugar bowl.
20:08That's what I remembered.
20:09Mrs Moth liked to carve that very insignia into her victims.
20:12So, thank God you're in the habit of getting that extra sugar, eh Tubbs?
20:16So that's it then?
20:17It was her that killed Uncle Midge?
20:19Oh, no, no, no.
20:20No, that was definitely your dad.
20:23How's it Tubbs?
20:24Dad!
20:25Easy, easy mate, easy.
20:27We picked him up about an hour ago down the pub.
20:29But Dad's innocent.
20:31Tubbs, um, we found your dad's bloody fingerprints on the mower.
20:35The one he used to kill Mitch.
20:38Sorry mate.
20:40Anyway, let's roll out.
20:43Good day.
Comments