- 5 months ago
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00:00I'm a valuable commodity. I see a dude coming at me, trying to kill me. I tell myself, get killed! Catch them all!
00:12Booyah! Touchdown! I make miracles happen, baby!
00:17I've got an ant roving, Jerry. Nobody's looking out for Rod Tidwell. And I'm supposed to be a superstar!
00:27No, not today. No. Crops have been destroyed as far as the eye can see. There is talk of a beast. They whisper the name Darku. Do you believe it? On Dagda.
00:42Oh, my God. I liked her. Oh, no, no. She's not well enough.
00:47Down your daggers. He is of Dagda. And I am on Dagda. All shorts. He's all shorts and non-wescal, isn't he?
00:57Then she sat there, denying and denying. And I feel a misty coldness climbing up my back. And the skin on my skull begin to creep. And I feel a clamp around my neck. And I cannot breathe air.
01:17God bless you, Jerry. But this is what you're gonna do for me. Are you ready?
01:21I hear a voice. A screaming voice. And it were my voice.
01:25This is a very personal, very important thing. Hell, it's a family motto.
01:30And all at once I remembered everything she'd done to me. Here we go. Show me the money. Show me the money!
01:44Peasant girl number two. Wow.
01:54So does that mean you're in the show?
01:56No, Dad. It's just a callback.
01:58So what's that name?
01:59You know what a callback is? Don't play daft.
02:01I'm not playing anything. What is it, like a second interview?
02:04Yes. A callback.
02:06Sorry. Forgot I married Helen Feckett-Marin over here.
02:09There's only a small part and I probably won't even get it.
02:12Is that kettle boiled? I thought I heard it. Like, a while back.
02:20Were you nervous?
02:22Just let me see out doing something like that, you know.
02:25Gets it from me. Ofs.
02:27I was just doing lines from a play that we're studying at school, so it's alright, actually.
02:32Oh, Keith McCurdy was there, Dad. He cried after his audition. Like a lot.
02:37He's quite mad, honestly. The maddest person ever run a petrol station, I'd say.
02:41I suppose lots of girls will be getting callbacks. Until they work out what they really want.
02:46Toast there, son. If you care for such things.
02:48Wait, who's getting a callback?
02:50You can be my Oscar date. Actually, no, that's weird.
02:53Wait, did you really, though?
02:54Don't gloat, Joanne. You know what your brother's been going through?
02:57I dropped out of college, Mum. I don't have cancer.
02:59Wish, would you?
03:00Fine, I'm taking a sabbatical.
03:02No, cancer. You never see cancer in a doctor's house.
03:05It's like seeing Hamlet in a theatre.
03:08It's Macbeth, you Plank.
03:10That's great, Jo.
03:11No, I didn't realise it was the kind of TV show that it orcs and shouldn't it?
03:15It's only a callback.
03:18Here, wind of this. Come in.
03:21Production can suck my nuts.
03:26No, you suck my nuts.
03:27No, you suck my nuts.
03:31I don't think of nothing as a mechanical nut.
03:33But no, you suck my nuts.
03:34Yeah, you suck my nuts.
03:35I don't think of it.
03:36You suck my nuts.
03:38Yeah, you suck your nuts.
03:39I didn't say that.
03:40I don't think of it.
03:42Oh, my God.
04:12Oh, my God.
04:42Yeah, that's what he said a month ago.
04:44And he meant it.
04:45Olaf Freiburger is a huge name right now.
04:48I can't believe I got him.
04:49What the fuck is that? I didn't ask for that.
04:50Son of a Danish film director.
04:53Theater trained in London.
04:55Started chopping wood on TikTok.
04:57Two million followers.
04:58Made the Bond shortlist.
05:01Models for both...
05:01Dior and M&M's.
05:03Wow, what a busy fucking beat.
05:05I just hope he's not using our offer as leverage
05:07and we'll spend all of pre-production chasing a shadow.
05:10He's the guy, Brad. Trust me.
05:12Yeah, and what about all the personal shit?
05:14Well, he does have very many children.
05:16Yeah, Google informs me he has 14...
05:18Fucking kids.
05:19What is he, a seahorse?
05:20Well, you know what that tells us.
05:22What does that tell us?
05:23Olaf Freiburger never pulls out.
05:26Was that a sex joke there, Wendy?
05:30Yeah, it was, Brad.
05:31Not bad. Pretty solid.
05:56You ready, Dad?
06:01Shut the fuck up, this plant.
06:03There he is.
06:04How you alright, Sonny?
06:05Are you alright?
06:07Better than ever, as the saying goes.
06:10We still doing the pub for lunch?
06:11Aye.
06:12I have a committee thing, so...
06:14I found porn mags in there one time.
06:18What's in there now?
06:23It's so nice to have you home, son.
06:25Remainting us of things.
06:33We've completed option agreements on most of the recurring cast,
06:36and we're going to spend a few days here in Rimbaud
06:38hoping we can save money on some day players with local heart.
06:40I did the town musical there once.
06:42Yeah.
06:43Jemima Rowlands has started vocal coaching and accent work,
06:47but what we really need now is clarification
06:50on who's playing the Dagda.
06:51We know who's playing the Dagda.
06:53Because it's a very important role.
06:55Not just narratively, but culturally.
06:57No, yeah, I've read it.
06:58And I know.
06:59You have your heart set on...
07:00Ola Freiberger.
07:02My mind, too.
07:03But I suppose what everybody's wondering is,
07:06surely it's time to walk away from the woodchopper.
07:09He was out, he was in.
07:10He seems likely to withdraw his commitment the next time.
07:13Skittles come calling.
07:14Kelly?
07:15Carol?
07:16Carol?
07:17Carol?
07:17Here's what we know.
07:20Olaf Freiberger never pulls out.
07:23Do you know how many kids he has?
07:26We could revisit the back-up casting list.
07:30What back-up casting list?
07:31We were instructed by your colleague at the studio.
07:33He wants us to have a back-up casting list
07:34in case your primary casting options fell through.
07:37My colleague is such a clever clogs.
07:41I'm so lucky to have him.
07:44Oh, there we go.
07:45What is that?
07:47A fucking sparrow now.
07:48Honestly, this town.
07:51Every day with this shit.
07:54Sorry about your stuff.
07:56Oh, it's fine.
07:58Only a bag.
07:59My mother left me.
08:00That's one of the local girls who came in
08:04for her background lines.
08:05Any good?
08:08Well, we wanted to photograph everyone who's auditioned.
08:10Would that be weird?
08:12Eh.
08:13No, I mean, no.
08:13I just actually liked her eyebrows.
08:15I thought maybe she may have a good place.
08:17I'll just call her my name.
08:18At home.
08:19Elena.
08:22You finished with that pastry?
08:26Hey, Wendy, it's Brad.
08:27Talk to me, Goose.
08:28Listen, Olaf Freiberger's agent just called.
08:31He's gone AWOL.
08:33So now we don't have a leading man.
08:36What is that?
08:37Chewing?
08:39And with a production this size comes responsibility.
08:42Every effort must be made to comfortably house
08:44our valuable cast and crew.
08:45We hope any temporary inconvenience
08:47will be dwarfed by the success we'll all share in
08:50as the I Am Celt family.
08:53Here's sincerely, Wendy Patterson, executive producer.
08:56That's a big ask, no?
08:59I want to help the production in any way possible.
09:01But my family are fairly fond of living at home.
09:04That's ridiculous, Shamey.
09:06What other local dwellings have been requested?
09:11Surely what's my house?
09:13That we know of.
09:15Keith, has anyone else mentioned it at the petrol station?
09:17No.
09:18I say, fuck them, Shamey.
09:26How did your audition go, Keith?
09:28Well, it's impossible to know what they're looking for.
09:30Not talent, anyway.
09:31Or passion.
09:33I don't know, Shamey.
09:35If yours is the only house they need...
09:36I'm not aware if it's on the official agenda,
09:38but are we planning on discussing the fact
09:40that dead birds keep dropping out of the fecking sky or what?
09:43I mean, I'm not a holy man.
09:45But not ideal as signs go.
09:47Well, the agenda is actually fairly packed, Keith,
09:50as it's a lunch meeting.
09:51I could squeeze dead birds into Thursday night's agenda.
09:54No, you're grand.
09:55I'm sure it'll be fine.
09:56I'll just duck.
09:58Why?
09:59Did you audition?
10:01Of course not.
10:02Can you imagine?
10:03I find selfies intrusive.
10:05Bet you did, though.
10:06Nah.
10:08Drama and bloody history.
10:09Shit is nothing for me.
10:10You know, I'm more of a song-and-a-dance kind of girl.
10:13Well, I mean, that's plainest day.
10:14Maybe if it was a screen musical.
10:16Right, like Mamma Mia or something.
10:18Oh, yeah.
10:19That's more my time.
10:19Can I trouble you for some cutlery for my soup and sandwich combo?
10:23Are you with the film crew?
10:24Guilty.
10:25Not that word.
10:26Dodgy.
10:27You need cutlery for your sandwich?
10:29No, I meant cutlery for my soup.
10:31So, a spoon?
10:34That's the one.
10:35A spoon.
10:36I think it's just by your bowl there.
10:38Oh, yeah!
10:39Very swish.
10:42It's like dining at the Ritz.
10:43Why?
10:45The very same.
10:47Then my work here is done.
10:56Mamma Mia.
10:57Sorry, you're eating.
11:08Of course you are.
11:10I'll send you an email.
11:11No, no, no.
11:12You're grand.
11:13Just enjoying a quick bite.
11:16What's up, Tony?
11:17Just had a call from the TV people.
11:19They're going to be doing a site visit of the school grounds this week, Areckie.
11:23So, there might be a few strange bods about.
11:26Just FYI or I.
11:28No bother.
11:30Good to know.
11:31I'll let you get back to your reading.
11:32I'll let you get back to your reading.
11:42I think he was talking to you.
11:44Why did you engage in conversation?
11:47With me down there doing that?
11:50Dunno.
11:51Really.
11:51It would be very bad if we got caught, you know.
11:54You get that, don't you, Catherine?
11:56It's Mrs. Proctor.
11:59Says it on the door.
11:59It was a joke.
12:09Yeah, I've been thinking.
12:10I might try to get a job on the TV production.
12:13What?
12:14Yeah, we're always looking for runners and what have you.
12:17Runner?
12:19But you're desperately needed in surgery as my...
12:21Runner?
12:23Maternity leave cover receptionist.
12:26And top-notch colleague.
12:28Sandra's not going to be pregnant forever.
12:29With the last five years, they'll have a different story.
12:32Look, if you know the producer lady, you could put a word in for me.
12:35Who says I know the producer lady?
12:38Oh, little birdie.
12:40Oh.
12:41Does that little birdie happen to work behind the bar at the White Ridge?
12:45That committee made a pledge of silence.
12:48Oh, Martha, if you will.
12:49She called a surgery looking for you.
12:51You were busy.
12:52Who, Wendy?
12:53Mm.
12:54When?
12:55When didn't you tell me?
12:56Look, she's called a few times.
12:58I forgot to tell you because I'm a terrible receptionist and you should hire a temp until Sandra's back.
13:02Or you could just master our beloved post-it system.
13:05I can't believe the committee from the White Ridge made an actual pledge of silence.
13:11There were candles.
13:12It was nice.
13:13It was nice.
13:43I struggled to control the bleeding.
13:46I know it's because I don't leave it to dry long enough, but surely life's too short.
13:51Well, come back.
13:53Your father's dying to see you.
13:56I've been here a week.
13:57I've called over a few times.
13:59Oh.
13:59I'm sorry, darling.
14:01We've been away golfing with the couples.
14:04Golfing with the couples?
14:06Mm.
14:06New course by the sea.
14:08The Reverend's there now.
14:10I'm away to meet him in a minute.
14:12You could join if you like.
14:14I'm needed here, actually.
14:16Oh, yeah.
14:16The TV thing.
14:18It's been quite a few years.
14:20We've Zoomed.
14:26Golf with the couples by the sea?
14:28Well, since he retired from the church, we'd be up there at three weeks in the month, I'd say.
14:33Yeah, it's nice to have a different vista.
14:35Now and then.
14:37How's he doing?
14:40His short game needs work.
14:43Well, I'd like some proper time with the two of you while I'm in Drumbon to talk.
14:47Yes, of course.
14:48I'm sorry, I'm rushing now, darling.
14:51It's, uh...
14:52It's Meredith Mount 70th and we're doing back nine bubbles.
14:57We'd love to have you over for dinner next week.
15:00Of course.
15:04Okay.
15:13So glad I caught you.
15:14What's your greatest fear?
15:30Ah, spiders.
15:33Or heights.
15:35If I was up a ladder and I saw a spider, well, I wouldn't like it one bit.
15:40When were you last up a ladder?
15:42What's your greatest fear?
15:46Losing the ability to walk.
15:49Well, you conquered that one.
15:51We did it together.
15:55So I suppose that makes you feel this now?
16:01I suppose I am.
16:04Mind if I had the light?
16:06I'm shagged out today.
16:08Ah, go for it.
16:09I'm pretty sure even I can find my way to the bed in the dark, given I'm already sitting on it.
16:14You all right there?
16:33Did you happen to move the bed?
16:37Night, Shami.
16:37Who do you want to be next?
16:57Whether you want to be a grizzly bear or a yoga bear, there's a fitness or wellness program just for you at Big Jim's Jim's.
17:05So roll in on your way home from the office.
17:10And we'll sort you right out.
17:12But here's the big news.
17:14What, you ordered a rewrite?
17:16What?
17:17No.
17:18Olaf Freiberger is back in the saddle.
17:20I thought he pulled out.
17:21Nope.
17:22Just had a little mental health moment after receiving some undesirable paternity results.
17:26But his agent tells me that's not uncommon.
17:28That's great news.
17:30Nice save, Wendy.
17:32Nice save.
17:33You know, maybe you should take him out when he gets there.
17:36A game of golf, maybe.
17:37Golf?
17:39Yeah.
17:40That's an idea.
17:41Hey, Wendy, did Carol from Casting happen to mention...
17:44Happen to mention that you have a backup casting list, just in case my pick doesn't work out?
17:47She did, Brad, as it happens.
17:49The background backup option really just shows an abundance of caution, which I think is smart.
17:57Don't you agree, Mr. Donald?
18:01I think we ought to keep the process going until we're absolutely sure that we have Freiberger signed on.
18:06Okay.
18:07Well, here's what we know about all of Freiberger...
18:09I seem to be having issues with my Wi-Fi.
18:14Hello?
18:17Okay, so before the technical issues...
18:20He's not going to pull out, Brad, but fine.
18:22We'll keep whatever you want.
18:23Fine.
18:24Bye.
18:25No, no, wait, wait.
18:26Wendy!
18:26Sorry, lads, could you scooch down a bit?
18:52There can't be anything since they were attacked by those birds.
18:57And we get on us!
18:58Don't we go get on in us!
19:00Ooh!
19:03Get plenty of shots of the road, Jules.
19:05Great parking space for production vehicles.
19:08When will I get to read the scripts?
19:11Well, they're only releasing pages on a need-to-know basis.
19:13Right now, all you need to know is how many camera trucks fit at the location.
19:16It just doesn't feel like something you get thanked for at the BAFTAs.
19:20Oh, believe me, as an event, it is overrated.
19:23Well, I'd rather believe it with my own...
19:25Ah!
19:27Flippin' heck!
19:29Gosh, shit cakes me!
19:31Why do you do that?
19:32Why do I do what, Glenda?
19:34Why did I fall into a hole?
19:36Is that what you're really asking me?
19:38Why do I fall into a feckin' hole?
19:40You're being very lippy for someone who just fell into a hole.
19:43I'll see you in the Volvo.
19:44Where'd you fall?
19:47On my ankle.
19:50Oh, fuck!
19:52Oh, I didn't realise you were gonna twist the bastard.
19:55Hey, wiggle your toes for me.
19:59How's it looking?
20:01Which foot was it again?
20:02What?
20:04There's no massive damage done.
20:07You might have a tiny little fracture in your fourth metatarsal.
20:10What, like David Beckham?
20:11Sure.
20:12Nothing a couple of weeks off your feet won't help.
20:15Okay?
20:16My boss is gonna love that.
20:18Hey.
20:19And what is it you're doing with the TV show, Jules?
20:21I'm at locations.
20:23Put some weight on there.
20:25You decide where they film the scenes and whatnot?
20:28Well, my boss does.
20:29I'm more the fella you call when one of our big camera trucks is blocking your driveway.
20:32Ah, all right.
20:33Put some weight on it.
20:34Ah!
20:35No.
20:35I'll cook.
20:36Oh, okay.
20:38Sit down there.
20:39Well, get your sock on, but leave your boot off for the day.
20:42Well, it's got a lot of crocs at home.
20:45Good.
20:45So, the producers, do they usually hang around for the whole shoot?
20:51Well, I guess it depends what kind of producing role they have.
20:54Well, what if that role was a handsome woman around my age?
20:57Oh, that sounds like Wendy Patterson.
21:00But she'd be a lot younger than you!
21:04That's right, boo.
21:05There she is, my own little Debbie McGee.
21:10Please stop calling me that.
21:12I know you.
21:13I'm the Spoon Man.
21:14Do you know the Egg Man?
21:15Oh, yeah.
21:16From the pub, I remember you.
21:17It's a nice bar.
21:19Does your girlfriend like working there?
21:22Well, it's her family pub, so it's more like indentured servitudes.
21:26Shelley's just a friend, actually.
21:28Oh, her name's Shelley?
21:29That's my auntie's name.
21:30I'll let her know that.
21:32Is that the phone ringing, Debbie?
21:39I used to love a bit of magic.
21:42So, I'll be in well.
21:43Wendy might be leaving town next week, you reckon?
21:47I see.
21:50Get out of that, old friend.
21:55Wendy's here for the long haul, Doc.
21:57So, you've plenty of time to catch up.
22:02Great.
22:06Great.
22:06Darling, your eyes are heavy with frustration.
22:28Makes me wonder
22:32If I'm the one you've waited for
22:36Baby
22:39Oh, I'm shy by reputation
22:43That's all your friends
22:46What's the maze in here?
22:49Like a maze in a hospital
22:50Sorry?
22:51Are you lost?
22:53Ah, Miss Patterson
22:55There you are
22:56Hi, I'm Wendy
22:57I'm with the TV show
22:58Apologies, I was showing your team the canteen
23:01Yeah, such a useful facility
23:03Shame it's only available on the weekends
23:05Yes
23:06There are definitely sections of the car park we can utilise, Wendy
23:09Hell yeah
23:10Thank you again, Tom
23:11Jules
23:11Whatever we can do to help
23:12Location scale
23:13Hey, Catherine
23:14Yes?
23:14School teacher
23:15I've actually been in disciples more myself anyway
23:18How long have you...
23:22Been in the chair?
23:24Uh...
23:25Ten years
23:26You?
23:30A lot less
23:31Don't leave them seats!
23:33Oh, God
23:34Pleasure to meet you
23:35I'm Matt
23:36I'm a really big fan of television
23:38Cool
23:39Well, I make television
23:41Good one, Wendy
23:42Uh, Matt is our maths teacher
23:45Wish it your job, though
23:46Lucky you
23:47Coming from here
23:48Doing all that
23:49Unless you're nothing to do with the Game of Thrones finale
23:52Then off with your head!
23:56I hope I'm Celt has White Walkers in it
23:59It's a historical drama, Matt
24:01Well
24:02Inspired by history
24:04All right
24:05Sorry
24:07What does that actually mean?
24:09You're the history teacher, right?
24:11Yes
24:11Absolutely my favorite subject in school
24:14Loved it
24:15All those wars?
24:18I'd love to see your classroom
24:20Right
24:22So, your show
24:28It's about Celts?
24:31Is it?
24:31I left Ireland before high school
24:33Secondary school
24:34But my father thought this place was all ruffians and lunatics, of course
24:38And we thought you lot and Belku were just snobby
24:41And, actually, observant about us
24:44Is there a long time gone, then?
24:50I used to come back a lot more
24:51That itchy feet
24:53And, you know, life
24:54After the divorce, my mom would send me back every chance she got
24:58But I'm not sure if that was for her or for me, you know
24:59I do, aye
25:01And now you're back
25:03To tell the story of your people to the world
25:06I have to tell you
25:08I'm a bit of a Celtic history nut
25:11Oh, yeah?
25:12Yeah, I mean, I'm just so glad it's being told by a woman, you know
25:15Because there's layers of feminism within the Celtic culture
25:18That the world could really learn from
25:20Yeah, yeah, it could be fun
25:21Shaping this story into something that someone would put their phone down to watch
25:25Is such a slog
25:26Are you ready yet, Mom?
25:28I'm waiting in the corner
25:29All right, come in, Joanne
25:30Come in
25:32And meet the producer of I Am Celt
25:35Oh, hi
25:37This is my youngest, Joanne
25:39Yeah, she's working on her patience
25:41Sorry
25:42It's just I
25:44I have lines to learn, so
25:46Yeah, make her
25:47I heard you did a hugely impressive audition
25:49No way
25:51Mom
25:51I studied the Crucible in school, too
25:53Gave me a lifelong love of shows featuring witches
25:56The clothes, spells
25:59Yeah, we didn't even know she was going to audition
26:00Well
26:01We're glad she did
26:03Oh
26:04That is me late
26:05I have a date with an interactive spin class
26:08Same
26:08Say hi to your dad for me
26:13Were you friends with my dad?
26:18Kinda
26:18We did a little traveling together
26:20It was so nice to meet you, Catherine
26:22Mrs. Proctor, I mean
26:25I'll see you soon, Joanne
26:26Bye
26:27When?
26:54Morning batch is in the fridge
26:55Well, stop eating it with your fingers
26:58We're getting complaints
26:59That's what Gordon Ramsay does
27:00He doesn't supply gyms
27:01How'd your audition go, Jimmy?
27:03Shite
27:04Got recognized, though
27:06Did you, Jimmy?
27:07Hmm
27:07Maybe you should start charging for autographs
27:12I could give you a free gym membership
27:14All you have to do is ask
27:15Can I exchange it for rent?
27:16He's trying his best
27:17It's not that I don't love you all living with me
27:20Still
27:21But promises were made
27:23Come on, Mummy
27:24Jenny's carrying my baby
27:25We're family
27:25And once I've paid off the IVF
27:27And the legal fees for the car cases
27:29Then I'll be out your hair
27:30Well, then
27:31And once Big Jim's Jams hits the shelves
27:33That's the spirit, Jenny
27:34Once the nutritional wing of the operation takes off
27:36Then we'll be up on a wage of fame and fortune
27:39My hole
27:40I love you, Jimmy
27:41But that's exactly what you said about your sleepwear range
27:44I still believe Big Jim's Jim Jams
27:47Would work in a different economic environment
27:48Oh
27:49Covid dampened people's spirits for two-person pyjamas
27:51And I think you know that, Mother
27:53Yeah, she said to say hi
27:59So, uh, where did you travel together?
28:04It was a bunch of us
28:05Where did we go?
28:06That time
28:07Up north, I think, somewhere
28:09Didn't realise you two were so close
28:11Well, I'm a mystery, Catherine
28:14Wrapped in an enigma
28:15Dipped in cheese
28:17She's very pretty
28:18Uses filler by the kilo, I'd say
28:21Look, she said that she really liked my audition
28:24So, it's not even cheating
28:26If you text her and say
28:28How brilliant I am
28:29Shouldn't you just be concentrating on your studies?
28:32I mean, I'd really like for one of you to get a real job
28:35He already has a real job
28:37With me and the surgery
28:38And with Mum on this one
28:39Dad
28:40Look
28:42I'm sure if you're right for the parts, you'll get it
28:45I don't know what good a text from me would do
28:47Don't even have a number
28:50It's written on a post-it on your desk
29:15Two
29:20Two
29:20Two
29:20Five
29:21One
29:26Six
29:27That time
29:28One
29:28Two
29:29One
29:29Five
29:31Five
29:34ORCHESTRA PLAYS
30:04I hear you've met my girls.
30:30And your son's applied to be a runner.
30:34Well, get used to weak tea.
30:37What a lovely life you've built.
30:41He's a superstar TV producer.
30:43It's all a lie, of course.
30:45The young one's all right.
30:54Is your plan, really, to just never talk about what happened when we were younger?
30:58Well, I'm not much of a plan maker, you know?
31:02Okay, how about this?
31:03Why don't you run me through what you think happened the night of the millennium?
31:08Uh, well, let me see.
31:11The Queen and Tony Blair sang Auld Lang Syne in a big tent on the Thames.
31:15I'm not going anywhere, Seamus, so get out as many jokes as you want.
31:18Hey, we went into the woods.
31:27Fireworks were going off, and we got a bit amorous.
31:30This was over 20 years ago, Wimby.
31:33Barely started medical school, for God's sake.
31:36We got a bit amorous.
31:37And I went for your tit.
31:40And that move proved contentious.
31:42Shamey.
31:47Something took us.
31:52Something from above.
31:56I don't know what it was.
31:58Why it took us.
31:59And why it let us go.
32:03There you have it.
32:04And I tell, never forget.
32:07Because of the spaceship, that is.
32:09Not your tit.
32:14Do you remember the blue room?
32:18Like it was in my own eyes.
32:21But the only thing I recognized in it
32:23was you.
32:25Well, this is new.
32:49Do you remember the alpaca?
32:58I remember it all, Wendy.
33:02Well, this is great news.
33:03This is great goddamn news.
33:11I gotta tell you.
33:12The first 10 years after this shit,
33:14I spent a lot of time thinking
33:15I was literally insane.
33:18Lived in Dubai for most of that,
33:20which did not help.
33:21The next 10,
33:22I thought the whole world was crazy.
33:24So obviously I got into TV.
33:26But the last few years,
33:28I have been convinced
33:29that the only one who is fucked up is you.
33:31You sound like my wife.
33:34You tried to convince me
33:35it didn't happen.
33:37Your dad did most of the work.
33:38You didn't back me up.
33:40You made me sound like some crazy girl
33:42who did too many Jager bombs.
33:43Well, we had.
33:44You didn't back me up, shamey.
33:50No.
33:52No, I didn't.
33:53My bad, as you'd say.
34:01What the fuck happened to us?
34:19Literally the maddest thing
34:20that's ever happened to anyone ever.
34:22Oh my God, I can't wait to talk about it.
34:24My therapist is about to call the cops.
34:26I have a lot of questions.
34:27Everyone will.
34:28Like, where do we even start?
34:30People are going to lose their shit.
34:31This is going to change everything.
34:34Why would we tell anyone?
34:40Well, because
34:41we have to.
34:44Do we?
34:46Why not?
34:48Because now we know it's true.
34:50It was always true.
34:52Well, I fucking know that now.
34:54So what's changed?
34:55You're admitting it!
34:56Only for you, though.
34:58Wendy, fuck.
35:00I'm the local doctor.
35:03Hank, that's not something
35:04they let you do
35:05when you tell everyone
35:06you take rides with little blue men
35:08from time to time.
35:10There were no little blue men.
35:12Try telling them that, Wendy.
35:15Mark and fucking Mindy.
35:16That's what they'll call us
35:18in the real world.
35:20This is in L.A.
35:22Being abducted
35:23isn't a cool new vibe.
35:25In this village,
35:29I'd be one social level
35:30below the woman on the bridge
35:31who throws cats in the water.
35:34People are going to find out.
35:36Not from me, they won't.
35:38And nobody in Drumbon
35:39knows a thing about it.
35:42I'm in Drumbon.
35:44Yeah.
35:45But you're just a crazy lady
35:46who came back from L.A.
35:48and thinks she's best friends
35:50with E.T.
35:56Hey, Wendy,
35:58I'm so sorry.
36:00Hey,
36:01but what good would the truth
36:03do anybody now?
36:07Oh!
36:08Wendy,
36:09what are you doing?
36:09Ah, well done.
36:14Oh, that's just like medicine
36:15and medical instruments
36:17and stuff.
36:18People will be sicker
36:19because of that
36:20but you just did.
36:24Great.
36:25Soggy fucking bandages.
36:28Ah, here they come.
36:29God, how many of them are there?
36:33They'll be needing
36:34plenty of diesel.
36:35And breakfast rolls.
36:38That young one's
36:40going to get herself a captain.
36:41What's she doing?
36:42She'd be squashed flat.
36:44Aye,
36:45idiot.
36:45This way, this way.
36:47You're going to go down?
36:48Yeah, keep moving through,
36:49keep moving through, please.
36:51I don't know what
36:52their actors are like
36:53but their trucks are doing
36:54the good impression
36:55of an invasion.
36:59Not sure if I should salute them
37:01or fire them.
37:05Time will tell.
37:29I'm back, I'm back,
37:47I'm back with a bang
37:49in the undisputed king
37:51of mattress land.
37:53Where I'm going to see people
37:54drive the mattress and drive.
37:57I apply my mattress
37:58Yeah.
38:01Oh, hey, Wendy,
38:02it's Brad here in L.A.
38:04Yeah, it's really late here, Brad.
38:05What's up?
38:06Look, I just got off the phone
38:07with Olaf Friedberger's attorney.
38:09We play pickleball together.
38:12Called in a favor.
38:14So Olaf is pulling out
38:15of I Am Kelt.
38:17He's got a project set up
38:18with Mattel
38:19for a live-action movie
38:20of those M&M characters
38:22paired with the Magic 8-Ball
38:23or some shit.
38:24He also admitted
38:25that Olaf was using
38:26our offer
38:27to get him a pay bump
38:28at the studio.
38:30Where do you play pickleball?
38:31Chasing Mr. Friedberger
38:32has obviously eaten up
38:33much of the casting period.
38:35And I'm told
38:36Costumes needs his character
38:37next week,
38:38which is, uh,
38:39fucking soon.
38:41Yeah.
38:42Yeah.
38:43That's...
38:43Yes, the week after this week.
38:45Listen, I don't want to
38:46impose any actors on you,
38:48but...
38:48Nor can you, Brad,
38:49per our agreement
38:50on this project.
38:51I do have a short list.
38:52No, Brad.
38:53We haven't even discussed
38:54my other options yet.
38:55Who do you want to be next?
38:56What options?
38:57Who do you want to be...
38:58Look, I know what you're
38:59going to say, but...
39:00I kind of feel that
39:01Armie Hammer
39:02is due a comeback.
39:03I'm sure he's open
39:04to offers.
39:05Big Jim's your only man.
39:07I have the guy.
39:11Yeah?
39:12Who is he?
39:13Do I know him?
39:14Nope.
39:15He's new.
39:16He's local.
39:17Which makes sense
39:19given our time frame.
39:21He's got a big,
39:23big screen presence.
39:26He's strong...
39:28Strongly recommended...
39:31Strongly recommended by...
39:34Um...
39:36What's that, Brad?
39:39I didn't say anything.
39:40You had the casting picks
39:41on the last two projects.
39:42This one's mine, okay?
39:44I literally didn't say
39:45anything, Wendy.
39:47Yes, I fucking knew it.
39:48You knew what?
39:50Um...
39:51I knew that you'd be cool
39:53about this, Brad,
39:54and I want to let you know
39:55that I appreciate you
39:57trusting my instincts.
39:59Says a lot about a man.
40:01Yeah, well, if you're sure.
40:03Do I sound unsure?
40:08Kinda.
40:09I'm gonna email over
40:10the casting notice
40:11before I go to sleep.
40:12You'll approve it?
40:13Look, I do CrossFit
40:14with Armie Hammer's orthodontist.
40:15I could put in a call...
40:16Just sign off
40:17on the fucking thing, Brad,
40:18please.
40:21Look, we'll cast around him.
40:24Good night.
40:26Good night.
40:54Good night.
41:21Good night.
41:21Yeah, yeah, we'll talk tomorrow.
41:44Kill, Killio.
41:46Check then.
41:47Okay, my name.
41:48That was Carol from casting.
41:53What did she say, Jimmy?
41:54That show I auditioned for a small role in.
41:56The Kelty one?
41:58They thought that was another big no.
42:00They had someone cast to play the God of Fertility and Agriculture.
42:02That's quite a combo.
42:04Olaf Freiberger pulled out.
42:06That's a first.
42:07Carol from casting thinks the producer sees something in me.
42:12James, what does that mean?
42:13It means I got it, ma'am.
42:19Holy fuck!
42:21Did you hear that?
42:22Your clever daddy's going to be a movie star.
42:27Are you all right, ma'am?
42:29Jimmy, my television there.
42:31You're going to be on it.
42:33Not selling cheap gyms or whatnot.
42:36It's just a TV show, ma'am.
42:37And you're going to be the fucking star of it.
42:43I am Kelty.
42:45I am Kelty!
42:48I am Kelty.
42:52I am fucked.
42:55That's your spirit.
42:58Say, sister, sister, how I miss you.
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