- 2 days ago
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00:01Kia ora listeners, my name is Toby Buchanan, and you're listening to my true crime podcast
00:06Small Town Scandal, where I try and solve the mystery of who killed my Uncle Mitch.
00:13This is episode 5.
00:15As of last episode, I found some CCTV footage of a car driving onto Uncle Mitch's road
00:20an hour before he died.
00:22Yes, and that.
00:2438 minutes after.
00:26I couldn't make out the number plate, but I did clock some other key details.
00:31Before I could investigate, though, I had a few things to take care of.
00:34A dinner catch-up with friends, and a quick pitch call to an old friend across the ditch.
00:43Hi, Belinda, how are you?
00:45Thanks for picking up.
00:49Oh, yeah, um, anyway, I sent you an email with the first episode of my podcast.
00:53Did you happen to listen to it, or...?
00:55I listened to it.
00:56You did?
00:58Oh, great, thank you.
00:59Well, great, that's awesome, thank you.
01:01Yeah, I'll be straight with you.
01:02Any...?
01:02It's pretty average.
01:05Yeah.
01:05I was intrigued, though.
01:07You were?
01:08If there's a satisfying ending to this, then you can definitively find whoever it was
01:13that did your Uncle in.
01:14Then you'll publish my podcast?
01:16I'll think about publishing your podcast.
01:19Oh, Belinda, Belinda, thank you.
01:21Yeah, that's great.
01:22I am, there are no promises, and I'm still most likely to, say, get lost with it.
01:25And if we'd have beat this Mrs Moth podcast, I'll need something by the end of the week,
01:29otherwise it's a no deal.
01:30Bye!
01:31Yeah, no problem.
01:32Yeah, so with that, what, uh, oh, oh, okay.
01:36But there was no time to celebrate becoming a professional podcaster.
01:40It was time for dinner with my old school crush, Katie Jerram, and her cop husband, Matt McKenzie.
01:45Get it, Tubs?
01:45Oi.
01:47Don't just stand there like you shit yourself.
01:48Come on in.
01:48Yes, that's right.
01:49Yes, that's right.
01:52Shoes.
01:53Oh, yeah.
01:54I just saw you know this whole thing.
01:55It was Katie's idea.
01:57What is?
01:58You'll find out.
01:59Oh.
02:01Hey.
02:02Uh, Tubs, this is Honor.
02:05Honor, this is Tubs.
02:06Toby.
02:07Toby.
02:08Hi.
02:09Hi.
02:11Well, I might leave you two to get acquainted.
02:12Well, I, uh, acquaint myself with another barooski.
02:15Okay.
02:15Chuck us that ice cream, mate.
02:16Um, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
02:18Oh, oh, oh, settle down now, my ningo.
02:22Hi.
02:23And we met the other day at the hyper mega store.
02:28Oh, yeah.
02:30Oh, nice to meet you again.
02:31Hi.
02:32Ah!
02:33Ah!
02:34Watch out, they're assholes.
02:35Oh.
02:36Oh.
02:37Looks like someone's getting on like a house with a fire.
02:41Oh, hi, Tubs, how's it going?
02:42Mwah.
02:44Do you want anything from here, girthy gherkin?
02:47Um, get a piece of carrot.
02:48Oh.
02:50Nice.
02:51Um, Katie, you look, um, your, uh, your hair looks amazing.
02:54Stop it, I look like a dog.
02:56Um, I'm going to get it.
02:57Oh, you bought wine?
02:59Sparkling red.
03:00I haven't had this since I was like 14.
03:02Cute throwback, Tubs.
03:05Get this down, you big boy.
03:06Oh, yes, pop.
03:07Pop that away.
03:08Sorry, pop it away.
03:09Yeah, yeah.
03:09No, I was just thinking maybe, um, maybe, uh, I should have Tubs and Man Cave.
03:13Yeah, but he's only just got hair and I think maybe they should be patient.
03:17No, it's fine.
03:19I'll just leave the girls a bit of gossip time.
03:22Okay, don't be too long, all right?
03:23Dinner's nearly up.
03:24We're having schnaz out.
03:25Oh, yeah.
03:26Great.
03:27Sure.
03:28Come on.
03:28Yeah.
03:32Oh.
03:34Here we are.
03:36Fruits of my labour.
03:39So, uh, honour.
03:42Pretty cute, huh?
03:43Yeah, no, she seems very nice.
03:45Katie reckons you'd make a good couple.
03:47Can't see it myself, but, uh, challenge is there, mate?
03:51Yeah.
03:53Now, listen.
03:57I didn't want to say in front of the girls, but, uh, we've decided to take another look
04:00at your Uncle Mitch's death.
04:02Yeah, it's a total war lag, but there are a couple of, uh, well, let's call them questions
04:07being raised.
04:08Seriously?
04:09Like, what kind of questions?
04:11Oh, I'm not, not at liberty to discuss police matters with civilians, but I will say we're,
04:16um, we're looking at a person of interest.
04:20Hey, you haven't seen your old man around, have you?
04:24My dad?
04:25Yeah.
04:26No, he's having odds.
04:28Well, if you do see him, I suggest you let us know.
04:32We'd love to have a wee chat.
04:37What do you want to chat to my dad about?
04:39Man's a bit of a moron, isn't he?
04:40I mean, he's got a record.
04:42You know, it must have been tough watching his brothers rise to success.
04:46Imagine being a dropkick, and then your brother's out there making millions.
04:51Enough to make any man jealous.
04:53Especially a bottom feeder like Bruce Buchanan.
04:57No offence.
04:58Okay, my dad wouldn't kill his own brother.
05:01Yes, dad has his problems, but, you know, he's not a murderer.
05:05And besides, he's not even here, he's in Australia, and also, my dad is a good guy.
05:10Your mum agree with that?
05:11Look, they split up because my dad is useless.
05:13He's, but, well, not useless, but he's, like, she doesn't hate him or anything.
05:17Boys, don't agree!
05:19Oh, shit.
05:19Better not keep on awaiting.
05:21Hey, um, just remember, if your useless dad does drag himself into town,
05:28I want to be the first to know.
05:32Miss!
05:36How's the party going?
05:37Do you think Dad's in town, Mum?
05:39The police are saying that he could be here, and I just tried to call him, but he didn't answer.
05:45I called him yesterday.
05:46You were there.
05:47He was still in Cannes.
05:49Are we sure about that, though?
05:51Well, yes.
05:52That's what he said.
05:54Well, he was intoxicated, though.
05:58If he was in town, he would have called us.
06:01You don't think he came back to...
06:04No, you're right.
06:05He's not in town, he can't be.
06:07You all right, there, Cubs?
06:09Pinch it off, mate.
06:10We're all waiting for you to eat.
06:11You must be a monster of a shit.
06:12Are you calling me on the toilet, Toby?
06:16Yeah, I want to be a tick, mate.
06:21It's good.
06:26So, I heard you were making a podcast.
06:27Oh, oh.
06:28Not anymore, eh, Cubs?
06:30I love podcasts.
06:32Give me a murder mystery and a bag of burger rings on the couch, and I'm in heaven.
06:36I love burger rings.
06:37Listen, as well, um, do you listen to David Patterson?
06:44I love David Patterson.
06:46Ooh, who's David Patterson?
06:48You know the Mrs. Moth series?
06:49Oh, Mrs. Moth.
06:50That's the, um, serial killer, babe.
06:52Yeah, she infiltrates gangs and then kills them brutally.
06:54Actually, she kills non-gang members as well.
06:56Really?
06:57Is she still at large?
06:58Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:59They haven't caught her yet.
06:59Well, I hope she's not hiding out around here.
07:01I mean, in the latest episode, they said they think she is around here.
07:05What?
07:05Don't tell me that.
07:06Matt, Matt, do you know about this case?
07:07Oh, my God, what can you tell us?
07:09Oh.
07:10Oh, Matt, come on.
07:12No, I can't.
07:12Come on, tell us, tell us, tell us, tell us with your mouth.
07:15I've never seen anything in front of these guys.
07:21My forecast is about the suspicious circumstances around Uncle Mitch's death.
07:25Well, it was, until we had that cease and desist conversation.
07:28Mitch died of a heart attack, so I guess it's solved.
07:33Do you know what solves cases?
07:35Police work, not your little podcasts.
07:39Actually, an investigative podcast shed a light on you evidence all the time.
07:42Oh, right.
07:43Hmm.
07:44Hmm.
07:48It's all a bit grim for me.
07:50You know, I think that a podcast about horse breeding would do so well.
07:54Horse breeding?
07:55Hey, no one wants to hear a podcast about guys who wank off horses.
07:58I do, I'd love that.
08:00There's more to horse breeding than jerking off horses.
08:02Oh, oh, oh, oh.
08:04William McKenzie, stop that.
08:06Wait.
08:08Stop it.
08:08All right, boys.
08:09All right, boys.
08:10You rascals.
08:12Stay right there.
08:13Sorry.
08:13Got a good bloody swing on them, the three of them.
08:15I'm so sorry.
08:17Are you okay?
08:18In the room.
08:20Are you okay?
08:21I'm so sorry.
08:22Guys, we're going to be a few minutes.
08:24Are you okay?
08:24Yes.
08:26If you need some frozen peas, they're in the garage freezer.
08:28Okay?
08:29If you do go in there, can you get the viennetta?
08:32Okay.
08:33There was no need for the frozen peas, but I did go and get the viennetta I bought for dessert.
08:41Funny how such a little decision could yank me right back into my investigation.
08:58Oh, fudge.
09:00What the heck?
09:02The car in Katie and Matt's garage was the one on the CCTV footage going to Uncle Mitch's place the
09:07day he died.
09:08The cartoon family confirmed it.
09:10And then it hit me.
09:12This was the very car that Katie had driven me to the hotel in.
09:15Why was I such a goober that hadn't even noticed that?
09:20Or had it maybe been Matt, who was using Katie's car for pointing the finger at Dad to get me
09:25off the scent?
09:34I was thinking about how I lift the cash register.
09:38Oh, that's really interesting.
09:42Oh, there he is.
09:44I thought you might have found the dead bodies.
09:46Oh, stop.
09:47Thanks, Tobes.
09:49This is just Matt's terrible joke about my garage freezer.
09:53He thinks that's where I'm going to keep my thick tans.
09:58I bet you've tucked into a few viennettas in your time, have you, Tobes?
10:03Uh, oh, no, um, no, we only had viennettas at special occasions at our house.
10:10How classy.
10:11And it was at that moment, thinking about Matt's smug audacity to blame my dad for the hideous crime, that
10:18I was tipped over the edge and regrettably went on the offence.
10:22So who was driving?
10:26So what?
10:28Sorry?
10:29The car in the garage.
10:31I saw it on the CCTV footage, driving onto Uncle Mitch's road the day he died.
10:36I was just wondering which one of you was driving the car.
10:39I don't think you know what you're talking about there, mate.
10:41That's Katie's car.
10:44Yeah, that one's my car, but I, like, I wasn't, um, uh, driving.
10:49So, sorry.
10:51Um, what are you saying about the car?
10:55So were you just casually visiting Uncle Mitch at his mansion the day he died?
10:59Is that what happened?
10:59So I like your tone there, mate.
11:01Yeah, but I'm sure it's got nothing to do with his actual death, does it?
11:04What?
11:04Don't be.
11:05What is this?
11:06What are you implying?
11:07I guess I'm just asking Katie what her car was doing on a dead end road,
11:12arriving an hour before Uncle Mitch died and then leaving shortly after he died.
11:17You know, and whether she reported that to the police or not.
11:20Wow.
11:21You know, half the police force is here in this arsehole.
11:25All right, Tubbs.
11:27I think it's time for you to leave.
11:28You clearly had a bit much to drink.
11:29Time to go home and sleep it off, hey?
11:30I haven't even had one beer.
11:32Yeah, well, some people are more sensitive to booze.
11:33Give us your keys.
11:34No, I'm not giving you my keys.
11:35You're going to let your drive home drug, mate.
11:36Give me your keys.
11:36I'm not giving you my keys, no.
11:37Give me your keys, Tubbs.
11:38I'm not giving you my keys.
11:39Give me your keys.
11:40Give me your keys, Tubbs.
11:42What the, what are you doing here?
11:44Oh my God, no.
11:54That was a right move, Tubbs.
11:59Easy, easy, easy.
12:13They'll be for hours now.
12:28The next morning, with frogs in the fields bearing down on her, Mum was in a foul mood.
12:33Keep still, cousin Carol.
12:35I'm trying to pin it.
12:38How did the dinner go?
12:40Oh, not good.
12:41I had a big fight with Matt.
12:43Over Katie.
12:44Oh.
12:45Toby, she's a married woman.
12:47Whatever, Katie.
12:48Mum, whatever.
12:48I don't even like her like that.
12:50Oh, please.
12:50You've been pining over her ever since primary school.
12:54Do you remember Katie Jarum, cousin Carol?
12:57Oh, yeah.
12:59Wasn't she quite bosomous?
13:00Mm-hmm.
13:00Oh, yes.
13:01Even in Intermediate, her mother made me put darts in her school uniform.
13:05Oh.
13:06Oh, you would've made such a cute couple.
13:08Oh, whatever, Mum.
13:09Aww.
13:11Oh.
13:12Go catch that for me.
13:14No, I don't want to.
13:15Stop being so childish!
13:22Hi.
13:29Hello.
13:33I've got your mum's car back.
13:34Oh.
13:35And I just parked there.
13:36I hope that's okay.
13:38Thanks, son.
13:42I, uh, I really wanted to apologize for last night.
13:45What, for your kids' attachment to you?
13:46You're taking me or your husband manhandling me and stealing my keys?
13:50All of that, that you said, I'm sorry about.
13:58Maybe we can just forget about everything.
14:01Well, unless you're gonna tell me why your car was at Uncle Mitch's when he died,
14:05I don't think I can just move on.
14:11Toby, I mean, I...
14:13Toby, it's not that simple.
14:14Like a...
14:18Oh, don't stop being so childish!
14:27Mum says I need to drive you home.
14:32So I drove Katie home in absolute silence,
14:35unable to shake the feeling I was sitting beside Uncle Mitch's attractive killer.
14:40I didn't know how to broach the elephant in the room,
14:43but thankfully, like the insect, Katie did.
14:50Okay.
14:52Toby, I, I have to tell you something.
14:56When Mitch died.
14:58I was there.
15:00Holy fudge.
15:02Was my relentless investigative grind finally about to bear fruit?
15:08I, I didn't do it and I don't know who did.
15:12But I was there.
15:16I went to the mansion to blackmail Mitch.
15:19Oh.
15:20Oh.
15:21But I can explain.
15:23When...
15:27I've...
15:31I'm sorry.
15:32I'm sorry.
15:33I'm sorry.
15:35When I first heard that Mitch was selling the business, I panicked.
15:38You know, he'd promised me a management position at the Newcastle branch.
15:41And I thought, this is my way out of Te Hoyo.
15:44And so I went to Mitch's mansion.
15:46I, I go there sometimes to help him with his computer,
15:49because he's such a boomer, so...
15:52I made these photos of us.
15:54Mitch and I.
15:56Illicit pictures.
15:57You know.
15:59Damning ones.
16:01But I just made them with Photoshop and AI.
16:03I planned to blackmail him into pushing ahead with my Newcastle promotion,
16:07but then I lost my nerve.
16:09And I thought, well I better get out of here before anyone sees me.
16:12You know.
16:14And then I heard Mitch talking with someone outside.
16:21That's when I heard the scream.
16:27Um.
16:29Sorry, Kenny.
16:31I'm sorry.
16:33It's alright.
16:35Um.
16:36Scream.
16:37That's when I heard the scream.
16:39Help! Help! Help!
16:41And I, I panicked.
16:44I wasn't thinking straight.
16:44I, I forgot about the goddamn photos,
16:47and I ran in to see what all the commotion was.
16:49Help!
16:50Help!
16:51He was already dead.
16:53I didn't know what to do.
16:55And I thought,
16:55it's probably going to be really bad if anyone sees me here,
16:58so I just, I just,
16:59so I just ran.
17:01And I ran.
17:03And I keep thinking like I should have gone back,
17:05and I should have called somebody.
17:07But I was so scared.
17:09When I saw you at the mansion after the funeral.
17:13Katie?
17:13I was just trying to take those stupid photos before anyone saw them.
17:18Toby!
17:19And they're still there?
17:20I hope so.
17:22Toby.
17:23It's so awful.
17:24And I've been so stupid.
17:27And I'm sorry that I lied to you.
17:29This whole thing.
17:30I mean,
17:31it's just a mess, you know?
17:32And I think...
17:36I really think it would be better if Matt didn't find out.
17:48You can call him.
17:51Can you just...
17:52Just give him a ring-a-dang?
17:55And say...
17:56Say you got the wrong car.
17:57I mean,
17:58half the mums in Tohoiho have a Hyundai.
18:02Um...
18:04Yeah.
18:06Yes, yes, yes, yes.
18:08Oh.
18:09Hey, you've reached Matt McKenzie.
18:10Leave a message.
18:11Cheers.
18:12Oh, it's gone to voicemail.
18:13Leave a message.
18:15Okay.
18:17Um...
18:18Yeah.
18:18G'day.
18:19G'day, mate.
18:20It's...
18:21It's...
18:22It's, uh...
18:23It's...
18:26It's, um...
18:27Toby.
18:28I'm so sorry about last night.
18:30I...
18:31Um...
18:32I was so drunk.
18:33I was so drunk.
18:35And I looked at the footage again, and it could be anyone.
18:38Every mum in Tohoiho has a Hyundai.
18:40And it...
18:41It wasn't Katie.
18:43It was, like, the wrong car.
18:46Bye.
18:49Ooh.
18:53Oh, Katie.
18:56Oh.
19:19What did she say?
19:22So Katie's confession closed some doors, but it opened others.
19:26So she wasn't the only one there at the mansion that day?
19:28And who was this unidentified man whose voice she overheard?
19:33In any case, I've decided to head to the mansion
19:35to corroborate one particular part of her story.
19:43If Katie was telling the truth,
19:46the envelope with the incriminating photos
19:48would still be in the home office of Uncle Mitch's mansion.
19:54She'd done a great job with the AI,
19:56but they were very graphic.
20:09Jane.
20:10Jane.
20:11Jane.
20:14Jane.
20:14Jane.
20:15Jane.
20:16Jane.
20:16Jane.
20:17Jane.
20:19Jane.
20:20Jane.
20:20Jane.
20:20Jane.
20:21Jane.
20:21Jane.
20:22Hello.
20:23Bingo Bongo Drongo.
20:25Yeah, I'm so sorry, mate.
20:27Um...
20:27I guess I just wasn't thinking straight last night.
20:30I'm genuinely sorry.
20:31What?
20:33The message I left you.
20:34Mate, I don't check my messages.
20:35No one checks their messages.
20:36Anyway,
20:37your Drongo dad's been spotted at the memorial park here in town.
20:40No, Matt.
20:41My dad is in Australia.
20:42That's where he lives.
20:42He's there.
20:43No, no, no, no, no.
20:44He's here in Dahoy Home.
20:46It's been confirmed.
20:47And we have reason to believe he's connected to the murder...
20:49...of your Uncle Mitch.
20:51Now he's dying late now, man.
20:51I wanna fight him at the end.
20:52Peace.
20:52A day, all.
20:54...we're going a......
20:55noap.
20:56There have been time tomorrow for me.
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