- 2 days ago
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00:05Best MDMA in Berlin, Dan, and take it from me, the MDMA in this city right now is...
00:09I mean, it's excellent.
00:12Have you ever read Primo Levi's essay on shame?
00:19He wrote it 40 years after leaving Auschwitz.
00:22He was trying to make sense of why he survived and others didn't, but he couldn't.
00:28A year later, he threw himself from the landing of the house that he was born in and fell three
00:32floors to his death.
00:35Dan, we're here on a rooftop in Berlin.
00:40The sun is setting, this club is gorgeous, and there is no one here who is not a grade one
00:45decent human being.
00:47There will never come a better time for you to drop a pill than this exact moment.
00:54Should I just be par?
00:56Well, you've never drunk or taken drugs. Half as sensible.
01:00But you did just bring up suicide.
01:02And the Holocaust.
01:04In a nightclub.
01:05So.
01:06So.
01:13So.
01:19So.
01:23So.
01:23So.
01:26So.
01:36So.
01:46So.
01:48So.
01:51So.
01:52So.
01:52So.
01:53So.
02:05So.
02:06So.
02:08So.
02:22So.
02:34So.
02:36So.
02:36Where's the water?
03:15This is the best juice I've ever tasted
03:21Oh my god, that's amazing
03:23Do you not hear any of what I just said?
03:29Were you talking?
03:30Oh my god
03:33Yes, I've been talking for about two minutes
03:42Seriously, this juice I wasn't so good
04:29We're making this beautiful loaf
04:37Now it's time to combine everything
04:39Work it until there's no dry flour left
04:42And now I'm going to let the dough rest for 30 minutes
04:46This is called the auto-leave
04:48When you give the...
04:59We are going to do stretch and pull here too
05:02But since you guys are more advanced
05:04We're going to first start with this
05:08Clap down, pull back, pull apart, and pull
05:11And you'll see as I do this that the dough will go from shaky and messy to smooth and strong
05:16Now, if I were using my conventional oven
05:19I would preheat to 485 degrees Fahrenheit
05:23In my romco, I set the dial to 250 degrees Celsius
05:26That's 482 degrees Fahrenheit
05:51You made this, Dan?
05:52Yep
05:55Looks real
05:57It is real, I made it
06:00You're a person who bakes bread now then, eh?
06:04Yes, I think maybe I am
06:06How was it, Berlin?
06:08It was amazing
06:10I felt better there than I felt in years
06:12Good
06:13That's good
06:14That's good, you deserve that
06:16It won't be long
06:18It's just so good at getting Dean down
06:19It drives me nuts, to be honest
06:26Have you, um, heard from the Governor yet?
06:31Expecting a call any day now
06:33I really should get a lawyer
06:35You haven't got a lawyer yet?
06:38Dan
06:39You need to get a lawyer
06:40Yeah, I know
06:41Dan
06:42Get a lawyer
06:46I can't bury Red with this
06:47This is going to get real very soon
06:49Yeah, I know
06:49It's just
06:56Lee told you how we met, right?
06:59Yeah
07:00You met in recovery?
07:03Yeah
07:03Did he tell you how I ended up in recovery?
07:06No
07:07I mean, he said that something happened
07:09But he didn't say what
07:12Well, I used to work as a prison officer
07:13You know that
07:15And I was on a young offenders unit
07:17Which
07:18They're the worst
07:19Just
07:21Testosterone raging
07:22Teens trying to prove themselves
07:25One day, in the chapel
07:28I'm trying to break up a fight between three lads
07:31I get caught in the middle
07:33Pushed to the ground
07:34And they turned on me
07:37Kick me in the head
07:39Face, ribs, kidneys
07:43And then
07:44Eight other lads
07:46Ran over and joined in
07:48Jesus Christ, Laura
07:50Yeah
07:52Yeah, so I was bedridden
07:54And they put me on codeine
07:56For the pain
07:59And then when I did go back
08:02Well, I hadn't seen the faces
08:04Of the lads
08:05Who jumped in
08:06So every time
08:07I'm with one of them
08:08Part of me is thinking
08:10Was it you?
08:14So I just
08:15Fell deeper into codeine
08:17And fell too deep to get out
08:22Thing is
08:23I hated
08:26Those boys
08:29But I also found it hard
08:31To blame them
08:35I mean
08:35Most of them had called me mum
08:37By mistake
08:38At some time or another
08:39And I just
08:42I just couldn't do it no more, Dan
08:46I was
08:49Neither one thing
08:50Nor the other
08:55It's being split
08:56That kills you
09:05Jesus Christ
09:09I had no idea
09:09That that happened to you, Laura
09:12What am I going to do?
09:14Carry it around with me
09:15For the rest of my life
09:20Down
09:21Do fucking you
09:22Oh, God
09:23You are so annoying
09:23Well, what can I say
09:24The boy loves his daddy
09:26You coming?
09:34See you later
09:35All right
09:39So, you finally took drugs, eh?
09:42Did you like it?
09:44Yes, he likes it
09:47So, you go abroad
09:48Drop an E
09:48Come back
09:49Start baking
09:51Yeah, it's the new me
09:53Because I thought that
09:53I learned Sanskrit
09:56I miss baking
09:57Did it involve using
09:57Your oven while it's yours?
09:59It did
10:00Yeah
10:02I used my oven
10:03And?
10:05And it took me an hour
10:06And fifteen minutes
10:07To get out
10:07I had to wait for the cooker
10:10To get ice cold
10:11Before I could walk out
10:16All right
10:18Here's what you do
10:19You're going out, right?
10:22You pull a table in front of your oven
10:23You put everything you need on it
10:25Phone, wallet, keys
10:26All of it
10:26Get ready
10:27Take a shit
10:28Crafty wank
10:29Whatever
10:30And you go back to that table
10:31And you put each one of those things
10:32In your pocket
10:33Then
10:34You touch each gas ring
10:35Once
10:36You look in the oven
10:37Once
10:38You look in the grill
10:38Once
10:39Just once
10:40You don't do anything
10:41More than once
10:42And then you say
10:44Goodbye
10:44And good fuck
10:45And you walk out that door
10:46And then
10:47And Dan
10:47This is the most important bit
10:51You do not come back
10:56That sounds like surprising a good face
11:01Thanks
11:05You're not inside yet, Ben
11:08You've got your case
11:09The fence
11:09Appeals
11:12You take it one step at a time
11:14Yeah
11:23You're looking better
11:25I'm back in the meetings
11:26Doing what I need to do
11:28You know
11:30And you
11:37Do you remember the
11:39The prisoner that I told you about
11:41That your dad's padded me
11:43You're not talking to him
11:44Again, are you?
11:45No, no, no
11:47I want suspension
11:48I couldn't even
11:48If I wanted to
11:53But he told me
11:53That the guy got released
11:58I checked the dates
12:01And I know who he is
12:04His name is Matthew Hall
12:07I arranged to meet him
12:08This afternoon
12:15Okay
12:15But I wish that I could walk away
12:17I wish I could just
12:19Move on
12:20Like you and Laura
12:21But I can't
12:23Mum says that I love the man
12:25That I know I hated
12:26How can I move on?
12:28We want you to be Dean's godfather
12:32Me and Laura
12:33We're getting him christened
12:33We want you to be the godfather
12:37But he needs stability then
12:39He needs a godparent
12:40Who can walk out the door
12:41And meet him on time
12:42Who isn't obsessed
12:43By a man
12:44Who tossed him aside
12:46Like a
12:46Huge snot rag
12:4825 years ago
12:59Don't go and see this guy
13:00Just walk away, yeah?
13:02Just walk away now
13:26Just walk away now
13:43I can't take that
13:45I can't
13:46To work now
13:47Don't go and see this guy
13:48Up to late
13:50So
13:50Obviously
13:50But I'm lost
13:52It's the old lord
13:54You never took me
13:56Coming down
13:57I'm out of my life
13:59Not
14:02Time
14:02Nothing
14:03No
14:03Who's that?
14:05Uh, hello?
14:07Is that Matthew?
14:09Matty.
14:11Matty, um...
14:12My name's Dan Stewart. We spoke on the phone.
14:16You're fucking late.
14:17I know, sorry, I was late.
14:19I've been fucking waiting for you.
14:21You're 40 minutes late.
14:23Sorry about that.
14:24Yeah, the bus was stopped.
14:28And when did you call?
14:31Uh...
14:32Uh...
14:33Sorry, my phone got nicked.
14:38Wasn't that skinny lad upstairs?
14:40What?
14:41Wasn't that skinny lad upstairs that nicked your phone?
14:44No.
14:46No, I've only just got here.
14:50He's always nicking phones, he is.
14:53Supposed to be no crime here.
14:59Shut!
15:03applause
15:03flame
15:03sådan
15:28Jayzi
15:47I, um, bought some biscuits.
15:51Digestin's?
15:52Um, no, they're an own brand.
15:54They're kind of like hobnobs.
15:56Fucking hobnobs.
16:00You'll want a tea, then?
16:06How many sugars?
16:08None.
16:34Sorry about all the air fresheners.
16:36No, that's fine.
16:38He keeps cooking fish, that skinny lad.
16:41I think it's him anyway.
16:44Might be someone else, I don't know.
16:47He stinks.
16:52Are you okay here?
16:54I mean, is there anyone helping you since you got out?
16:59Is there help?
17:00What, your honourable?
17:03I mean, you get a probation officer, but that's just to make sure you're not up to shite.
17:07There's no fucking help.
17:12Do you know where Basel is?
17:15Yeah.
17:19It's in Switzerland.
17:20It's in Switzerland.
17:21That's right, yeah.
17:22I've got a son out there.
17:24Working there he is.
17:25He's got two kids.
17:27I was thinking of going out and seeing him.
17:30That sounds nice.
17:32Hmm.
17:34So, can you get a plane there?
17:36Well, to Basel?
17:36Hmm.
17:37Yeah, sure.
17:39How much would that be?
17:41I don't know.
17:41Um, maybe a few hundred.
17:45Well, a train.
17:45Can you get a train to Basel?
17:47I think you might have to change.
17:50How much would that cost?
17:52I really don't know.
17:56I mean, everything is online now.
17:58You know, I've been inside for 14 years.
18:00I don't know how to do all this fucking...
18:15So, you were my dad's padmate?
18:20Eight months, I was, yeah.
18:24Uh, what was he like?
18:28Your dad?
18:29Yeah.
18:29What was your dad like?
18:30Well, he was, uh...
18:34He was all right.
18:36Was he?
18:37Yeah.
18:39Yeah, he was all right.
18:40He was a...
18:41He was a laugh.
18:44My dad?
18:46My dad was a laugh.
18:48Yeah, funny as fuck, your dad.
18:51I did a good stretch with him.
18:52And laughed my way through most of it.
18:55Yeah.
18:56He was a good lad.
18:57Share his last fag he would.
18:59You know, and then they banned Sigs in prison.
19:02And fucking ruined it.
19:05Much prison without a smoke.
19:06I'll tell you what, I'll never go back there now.
19:11That just doesn't sound like the man that I remember.
19:13Yeah, well, I'm not fucking lying, you know.
19:15Well, I'm not...
19:16I don't...
19:16He had bunkers in eight months.
19:20Every day.
19:21I know him better than you.
19:27He was a good lad.
19:29He had his moods, yeah?
19:30But he was a good lad.
19:32And he helped me with reading letters for my son.
19:35Otherwise, they'd take the piss if they read a soft word,
19:38and then you'd be into something like...
19:39But not him, not your dad.
19:40He understood kindness.
19:42Did he?
19:42Yeah, he fucking well did.
19:45Look, you knew the man on the out.
19:48But I knew the inside man.
19:49The man who was always there.
19:50The man who can't hide.
19:52Well.
19:55Which do you think is more real?
20:01Fucking hate hobnobs.
20:02It's all them fucking bits in it.
20:06I don't like fucking bits.
20:10What's wrong with the chocolate digestive?
20:16Did he ever talk about my mum?
20:20Yeah.
20:22Every single day.
20:25What was...
20:26Was he still angry with her then, or...?
20:30He wasn't angry.
20:31He was in love.
20:32Excuse me?
20:33He loved her.
20:35Always going on about her, he was.
20:37He said the greatest privilege of his life
20:39was to have held her in his arms.
20:42I mean, he'd say that two or three times a week.
20:45I mean, another man you get fucking chopsy with for that,
20:48but not your dad.
20:50He didn't mind, like,
20:51because...
20:52Because he was a good one.
20:54My dad said those words.
20:56He said...
20:58She made him a better man,
20:59but that he wasn't good enough.
21:02He wasn't angry with her.
21:05He was too busy loving her.
21:12Well...
21:14I'm getting tired now.
21:17I go out of my nap.
21:19I have to have a nap in the afternoon.
21:25Is there anything else?
21:29Did he ever talk about me?
21:34You're not the drug one, are you?
21:40No, sir.
21:43He never talked about you.
21:45No.
21:46He's not.
21:52No.
22:00No.
22:03No.
22:13OK.
22:14I don't know.
22:52I don't know.
23:23I don't know.
23:26I don't know.
23:29I don't know.
23:30I don't know.
23:58I don't know.
24:02I don't know.
24:03You love your boyfriend then?
24:04No, this time we went alone.
24:06Okay, okay.
24:07Listen, you've got to get them classes going, you know, because Keef, he's riling without
24:10them, you know.
24:11He's eating a dictionary a day, yeah?
24:14And just gunning us down with words for him.
24:17So how are you guys doing?
24:19No, I suppose we're just killing time and chatting shit and waiting for that out.
24:24Come on.
24:26See you later then.
24:28Guten Tag, boss.
24:28Good to see you, boy.
24:29See you, dad.
24:29All right.
24:30I'm just kidding.
24:32Boyfriends?
24:33I assumed I was gay.
24:35I let them.
24:35So you're living as a closeted heterosexual?
24:38Smart.
24:54You all right then?
24:57Yeah.
24:58Yeah, I'll just wait.
25:00Good.
25:01It won't be long.
25:03Or he might be.
25:04Who fucking knows?
25:13I had to do what I had to do.
25:17Yeah.
25:18I know.
25:21I mean, I should never put you in that position, really.
25:24Or Jamie.
25:26It's me that should apologize, not you.
25:28I wasn't fucking apologizing.
25:35Hey, how's Greg doing?
25:36Who's Greg?
25:37You know, Greg, the Skittles.
25:39Oh, Greg.
25:40Oh, yeah.
25:41He's gone.
25:43You got released?
25:44No.
25:45Suicide.
25:46What?
25:47Yeah, I think it was asphyxiation.
25:50But to be honest, it was two suicides ago, so...
25:53Are you serious?
25:55He's dead?
25:59The thing is, Dan, they don't all make it out of here.
26:01But he didn't last.
26:03You slate even larger the muerte.
26:10He's killed.
26:11... one fourth wall.
26:13I see fear...
26:14No.
26:15Don't go away.
26:17Don't cry...
26:27Don't forget them.
26:28You prat with you..
26:30Correct me on...
26:37Come on.
26:43You've elected not to have a lawyer present.
26:45That's right.
26:47Can I ask why?
26:49There's no new information.
26:51I told you the truth.
26:53You know everything.
26:54Why didn't you tell me your father was a prisoner?
26:58Well, I've not seen him in 20 years.
26:59He's not a part of my life.
27:01Isn't he?
27:03Things like that can have a long tail.
27:06He's just not a part of my life.
27:11What is it you think you've been doing here, Dan?
27:14What do I, sorry?
27:16What have you been achieving?
27:22Um...
27:26People...
27:28People sort of enjoy thinking.
27:31Even those who we think not to be good at it.
27:35Thinking is human.
27:39My course lets them think for a bit.
27:48The reason I operate a zero-tolerance policy as regards staff and contraband isn't piety.
27:55It's out of necessity.
27:57In common with every facility in this country, my prison is rife with drugs, violence and extortion.
28:04The leavers I have at my disposal to stop staff exploiting or being exploited are very few.
28:10Prosecuting people like you to the full extent of the law is really the main one.
28:16I do it because it works.
28:18I understand.
28:21So, in light of that, I've decided not to prosecute.
28:27Excuse me?
28:28You didn't do what you did for gain.
28:29That's clear.
28:31So, prosecution serves no purpose other than to deprive the men of something they seem to like.
28:37You're right.
28:38They do like to think.
28:39It does make them feel human.
28:41It's better for me to have humans in here.
28:44Humans I can deal with.
28:45It's all right.
28:46I'm okay.
28:46I'm not going to get...
28:47I'm lifting suspension.
28:48Effective immediately.
28:51This is only one of a handful of times in the last 15 years I've given a second chance for
28:55something like this.
28:56There won't be a third.
28:58Do you understand that?
29:00Yes, I do.
29:22Oh, fuck me.
29:25Hey, hey, hey.
29:27What's going on again?
29:28Hello, yeah.
29:28What's going on?
29:29Sorry, thank you.
29:30You okay?
29:30I'm okay.
29:31I'm okay.
29:32You sure?
29:35Thank you, mate.
30:07I don't know.
30:34We all wander far from God and lose our way.
30:38Christ comes to find us.
30:40And welcomes us home.
30:41In baptism, we respond to his call.
30:45Therefore, I ask.
30:47Do you turn away from sin?
30:49I do.
30:50Do you reject evil?
30:52I do.
30:53Do you turn to Christ as saviour?
30:57I do.
30:57I do.
30:59I do.
31:02I do.
31:03I do.
31:05I do.
31:09I do.
31:11I do.
31:11I do.
31:12I do.
31:12I do.
31:29I do.
31:30I do.
31:32I do.
31:34I do.
31:34I do.
31:35I do.
31:37I do.
32:00I do.
32:00I do.
32:06You never need to say sorry, Danny.
32:08Not to a parent.
32:11We're bolted on.
32:19What's the drugs?
32:20Oh, my God.
32:21Why are you telling me that, Danny?
32:23I'm your bloody mum.
32:24You told me to.
32:25I didn't think you were going to come and tell me all about it.
32:28Oh, Jesus Christ, Danny.
32:31What drugs did you do then?
32:32Actually, don't tell me.
32:33I don't want to know.
32:34Well, go on then.
32:35What did you do?
32:37Sorry.
32:37It was just, it was recreational.
32:39It wasn't, it wasn't anything.
32:40Are you going to do it again?
32:42I mean, do I need to worry?
32:44No, look, mum.
32:44I just, I just went out and did normal things.
32:47I thought you'd want to know that I was being normal.
32:49Oh, oh, this is you being normal?
32:51Take drugs and very normally come and tell your mum all about it.
32:54A christening.
32:55Just like normal people do.
32:56All right, mum.
33:00I'm pleased you're being normal.
33:07He always was proud of you.
33:11Martin.
33:15He was proud of you every single day.
33:23Just like me all are.
33:24He is proud of you.
33:30He is proud of you.
33:54so after a few minutes of this i'll stop i'll turn around and i'll go oh oh i'm sorry sir
34:01i didn't know you were there i couldn't hear over the sound of all that fucking honking
34:07oh my god what did he do well he loses it he bangs his foot on the accelerator goes all
34:13the
34:13way around the outside of the car park to get around me so i thought all right so i just
34:18slipped on up and blocked the exit you didn't big line of fucking trolleys
34:25he gets ran and there's me kneeling doing my shoelace
34:31the next thing i know he's nudging right up to my trolleys he starts shunting them
34:37what with his tesla with his fucking tesla oh my god what did you do frank well i just
34:43stood there watching that massive scraping sand of metal there isn't finally i'll step in
34:51and i'll say excuse me sir i would not advise you to do that and he says i don't take
34:57advice
34:57from the lack of you and i'll say i would if i were you sir because you're ripping your
35:04fucking bumper off
35:07he's ripped him right off dan
35:11hey next thing i know there's a copper now what why no no idea someone must have phoned him
35:18tesla's ecstatic
35:20he's straight with this man has kidnapped me he says oh god kidnap he says well this copper he
35:29takes one look at me he comes over and says all right frank how you doing he's only one of
35:37the
35:37bunch that nicked me and vinnie last time no no no they loved us when they nicked me and vinnie
35:45they was as good as gold most of these only get to deal with junkies but we was proper
35:49with criminals they had a board up with pins and strings all like coins on mum he's so proud
35:56and he's all like good to see you frank you're looking so well oh you put a bit of weight
36:03on
36:03glad to see your back on your feet you keep your nose clean when he turns to elong fucking musk
36:11nicks him for criminal damage and threatening behavior
36:14yeah
36:15i can't believe it
36:23see ya
36:25hi buddy
36:26hi
36:28all right man's pissed isn't she
36:34all right now last minute cuddles
36:40what are you off to tonight um i'm gonna go home get ready uh i've got a date well it's
36:49not a date i'm meeting natasha yeah yeah it's not a date we're just gonna get a coffee still
36:59oh that is something yeah yeah it's something isn't it
37:08thanks for asking me it's a great honor
37:11you soppy twat
37:13come on
37:14hi
37:15oh i got you i gotcha
37:19right let go of it then let go of what the guilt
37:25do you know why dad walked out and that's the actual reason
37:35cause he's a fucking idiot
37:38that's all
37:40it's not a date but then that
37:44you look at this boy and you tell me it's any date but then that
37:54get out
37:56Let's go.
38:30Let's go.
38:56Let's go.
39:26Let's go.
39:56Let's go.
40:26Let's go.
40:33Let's go.
40:57Let's go.
41:00Let's go.
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