- 1 day ago
Tv, Lost in Space (1965) —S2E11 - West Of Mars
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00:02Last week, as you'll recall, we left an angry Dr. Smith working at enforced labor,
00:06unaware that both he and Will Robinson were soon to be spirited off to a distant planet
00:10on the far western frontier of outer space.
00:16A man of my qualities being tossed into hard labor, indeed.
00:20Dr. Smith! I brought you my dessert.
00:22Oh, bless you, my boy, bless you.
00:27Ah. Hmm.
00:30Lovely, delicious. You could have brought some coffee, too, you know.
00:34Some kind of spaceship.
00:40We're being invaded.
00:45It's the end, Ours. Our little planet is doomed.
00:48The whole universe.
00:51Now, hear this. Now, hear this.
00:55Hear this, Xeno.
00:56This is Space Enforcer Claudius.
00:59I know that you fled to this planet, and I have zeroed in on your hiding place.
01:05I am coming in for a landing near you.
01:08Surrender, and I guarantee you a fair trial.
01:12Refuse, and you die.
01:15Remember, the reward for your capture is the same.
01:18Be you alive, be you alive, or be you dead, your days as a super swift are over, Xeno.
01:30Careful.
01:32Careful, Will.
01:33Yes, sir.
01:35Careful.
01:43What's a super swift, Dr. Smith?
01:45A super swift is one who can draw and fire his space weapon in the blinking of an eye.
01:50No ordinary man can stand up against him.
01:52We are doomed.
01:54Why should this Xeno want to hurt us?
01:56A super swift doesn't need a reason to kill.
01:58He kills for fame and glory, and that's the worst kind of a killer.
02:02To think that I must die to perpetuate the reputation of an arch annihilator like Xeno.
02:08Well, he hasn't killed you yet.
02:10Let's get back to the Jupiter.
02:11It's useless, my boy.
02:13Utterly useless.
02:15I can hear the flutter of black wings.
02:18Even now, I can feel Xeno's cold breath blowing down my neck.
02:22Come along, my boy.
02:23Let's get back to the safety of the spaceship.
02:41Let's get back to the Jupiter.
03:29Let's get back to the Jupiter.
03:42Oh, the pity of it.
03:44The loss to humanity.
03:46My life sacrificed to the vainglory of a super swift.
03:50Dr. Smith, why is it that when you're scared, you run for a while and then you give up?
03:54If you don't want to get killed, why don't you get out of here?
03:57Because, my dear boy, when death is inevitable, why go to the added exertion of prolonged flight?
04:03If Xeno wants to kill me, let him come to me.
04:15The space enforcer, he's landed.
04:17Thank heavens we are saved.
04:19Come along, my boy.
04:20Let us greet him.
04:27Inasmuch as we were here first, and if we hoped to catch him, I see no reason whatsoever why we
04:31shouldn't share in the reward.
04:33Do you, William?
04:33Dr. Smith, Xeno isn't even captured yet.
04:36Never fear, Smith is here.
04:37Xeno is as good as Hank.
04:43Dr. Smith, I presume.
04:46Xeno?
04:48So you've heard of me, have you, Dr. Smith?
04:52Of course I have.
04:53Who hasn't heard of the great, the illustrious Xeno, the peerless, fearless, noble knight-errant of outer space?
05:00I'm a knight-errant, am I, Dr. Smith?
05:04Whatever that means.
05:06It means that I hold you in the highest esteem.
05:08It means that I have long admired you.
05:11How is it that you know my name, sir?
05:13That's what the kid called you, after you suggested that you're honing on the reward for capturing Xeno.
05:21Let me assure you, sir, that that was merely...
05:26Please.
05:29Please, don't look at me like that.
05:31I got plans for you, pussycat.
05:36What plans?
05:37Take a look at me, Dr. Smith.
05:41Take a good look.
05:44Good heavens.
05:45It's incredible.
05:46It's fantastic.
05:48You look almost like me.
05:52I look exactly like you.
05:56Now, can you guess what plans I've got for you?
05:59We're going to change clothes.
06:02You're going to be Xeno, and I'm going to be Dr. Smith.
06:07You like the idea?
06:09Decidedly not!
06:10Why not, pussycat?
06:13Don't you admire Xeno?
06:15You don't want to see him hang by the neck until he turns a deep purple in the face, do
06:22you?
06:22Please, uh, let us not discuss hanging.
06:25Let me assure you, you need have no fear whatsoever on that subject.
06:29In fact, I've decided to let you go.
06:35Start undressin', pussycats.
06:37Dr. Smith, where are you?
06:44Can we go look for Dr. Smith?
06:45Xeno must have captured him.
06:47Now, don't you worry none, son.
06:49If Xeno kills your friend, it'll go hard on him.
06:52I promise you.
06:53I understand that, sir, but that's not going to do Dr. Smith any good.
06:57Can't you do something?
06:58Why, of course.
07:01Now, here...
07:04One, two, three, testing.
07:07Now, hear this.
07:09Xeno, hear this.
07:10I'm-a-given you just 25 minutes to give yourself up, or I'm coming after you.
07:1625?
07:17Why 25 minutes?
07:19Well, I gotta finish my story.
07:21Now, like I was saying, by the time I got through with Mephisto, I'd wiped out every outlaw in that
07:27entire planet.
07:28How'd you wipe them out?
07:29By waiting for them to give themselves up?
07:40Now, take this gun and be careful.
07:43It's got a very delicate trigger.
07:46I wouldn't touch it.
07:47I'm not a murderer.
07:48Neither am I.
07:49I never killed anyone that didn't try to kill me first.
07:53Mostly ambitious amateurs, jealous of my reputation.
07:58Take it.
08:02I tell you, being a super-swift ain't a career I'd pick out for a kid of mine, if I
08:08had one.
08:09Then why did you pursue that career?
08:12I don't know.
08:13I guess it sort of gets into your blood.
08:16Well, it's not in my blood, I can tell you.
08:18I positively refuse to go on with this absurd charade.
08:21You do like I told you.
08:24What with a trial and appeals, you'll probably live a couple more weeks.
08:29Or would you rather I cauterized your giblets right here and now?
08:34Well, any alternative is better than none.
08:38Yeah.
08:41Now you walk up to that enforcer and you surrender nice and peaceful.
08:49And remember, if you don't make him think you're Zeno, I'll have you covered and zap.
08:58Didn't you tell me you never shot a man in the back?
09:01Never have.
09:03But I'll make an exception in your case.
09:06Do me a favor, will you, pussycat?
09:09When they hang you, keep your chin up high.
09:12I want the folks back home to think Zeno died like a man.
09:23Now get...
09:28Mr. Impaulter, Mr. Impaulter!
09:30Here comes someone.
09:31And it isn't Dr. Smith.
09:33Don't shoot, don't shoot.
09:35I surrender.
09:35But that is Dr. Smith's voice.
09:37It's Zeno's voice.
09:38I've heard it before.
09:40I surrender!
09:42That is Dr. Smith.
09:44Where'd you get the clothes, Dr. Smith?
09:45I'm not Dr. Smith, you little dumbbell.
09:47I'm Zeno.
09:47I confess.
09:48I confess to everything.
09:49I surrender.
09:50Now please get me into that spaceship.
09:51You confess all 25 killings?
09:5226, if it'll make you happier, get me into that spaceship.
09:55You heard him confess, didn't you, Will?
09:56Yeah, but I don't understand him.
09:58Never mind.
09:58Come on.
09:59Me first.
09:59Me first.
10:01What are you arresting me for?
10:03I'm holding you as a material witness to Zeno's confession.
10:05Now come on, get in there.
10:06My folks will worry.
10:07You're going to have to let me go.
10:08Now come on, get in there.
10:23I'm going to have to let you go.
10:28You're going to have to let me go.
10:31Now come on, get in there.
10:32Come on.
10:34Now come on.
10:36I'll fly here.
10:36I'm going to have to let you go.
10:52but i tell you i'm not zeno i'm dr zachary smith the man of science you're zeno all right you've
10:58made a science out of cold blood and murder i'm not a murderer i never killed anyone who didn't
11:02try to kill me first that is i mean to say zeno didn't i never killed anyone for any reason
11:07warrant says you did don't bother your warrant besides i have a witness to your confession
11:12but i explained that i confessed only because zeno was holding a pistol on me will will tell
11:20him who i am speak up dear boy tell him i wish i knew what do you mean you wish
11:26you knew i know
11:27your name don't i would zeno know your name you only called me will after you heard the enforcer
11:31call me back when you came up to the spaceship you just called me a little dumbbell and that's what
11:35you are a little dumbbell after all the time we've known each other oh forgive me will i'm sorry
11:42now please please take a good look at me and tell the enforcer who i am i don't know i'm
11:47confused look
11:49at that but that's a doppelganger a double haven't you ever heard of a double that's what zeno is to
11:59me don't listen to him son he's zeno all right i never make a mistake oh you don't
12:05eh well zeno happens to be an uneducated ruffian he says ain't and uses other vulgar forms of speech
12:10whereas i whereas you use such vulgar forms of speech as dumbbell anyway you're not fooling me
12:17zeno i happen to know that you can use good grammar when you want to is zeno a physicist is
12:23he a
12:24mathematician could he explain to you the difference between integral and differential
12:27calculus well i can i'm sure you can zeno because i also happen to know that you were a brilliant
12:34mathematician before you went wrong what made you take up killing as a profession zeno oh i don't know
12:40i guess it sort of gets into your blood oh no no you're making a terrible mistake please mr enforcer
12:48you promise you send a message to my folks now that we're on course i'll take care of it immediately
12:52son just when will you return me to my parents sir probably never oh the pain the pain
13:10will smith
13:12john look at this
13:17you don't suppose smith was right about it no he must have invented those space monsters
13:22of course he did but the scanner showed that something landed last night yeah but it could
13:26have been a meteor
13:35oh it's you
13:37affirmative it is i we can see that what do you want i relay a message received from space
13:43enforcer claudius in route to his home planet what about it he has will in custody he has will
13:50well why as a material witness against zeno notorious space killer he promised to return will
13:56after the trial and execution of zeno what could will have witnessed that doesn't make sense
14:02affirmative it does not make sense didn't the enforcer give you any details negative
14:10hey maybe smith knows something was he mentioned in the message negative
14:15well you must still be on this planet affirmative
14:19he probably panicked and got himself lost
14:22well since you're here you might as well join the search
14:25i'll cover this area i'll go up to the drill site right
14:28i do not wish to find dr smith he insults me well neither do i but he's our only link
14:34to
14:34finding will very well
14:40cassiopia
14:43i think that's cassiopia
14:58what's the sagittarius there right on course
15:06tell me enforcement audios how much fuel do we have aboard my fuel supply is practically inexhaustible
15:14this ship is equipped with super atomic or axiom overdrive splendid then you should have no trouble
15:19at all reaching earth should you sir earth the third planet from this sun that planet's off limits
15:28to me it's outside the galactic federation which i serve the rest is a fascinating planet i have
15:34considerable influence there not to mention affluence i understand you once made an illegal visit to that
15:41planet zeno it'll be held against you at the trial why must there be a trial sir now let me
15:48see the
15:48reward for zeno's capture is 10 000 space credits is it not suppose i were to offer you the equivalent
15:56of 20 000 space credits he's trying to bribe me you're a witness son that's a super crime why that's
16:03even worse than murder according to the galactic code this will go hard on you zeno even if i were
16:09you know how could you make things harder on me than by hanging me those proven guilty of attempted
16:14bribery are thrown into a pit of space vipers space vipers
16:28at long last i have found you dr smith
16:33hi pussycat what you're doing so far from the junk pile
16:37i was searching for you and i have found you yeah you said that that does not compute
16:48what does not compute you do not compute dr smith does not smoke
16:56stop that you're fogging my sensors i thought it might help you to compute a little better
17:02now what else dr smith does not bear arms you are wearing a pistol i found it out near black
17:10rock
17:10canyon i put it on for self-protection that does not compute either dr smith is afraid of firearms
17:20now look you silly looking bucket of bolts quit arguing and point me towards home
17:26i'm lost this trail is well marked even dr smith would not be lost i must warn the others there
17:33is a
17:33dangerous alien among us
17:39i don't think you better do that pussycat that will do you no good i am not programmed for fear
17:45but you are programmed for survival ain't you affirmative all right then let me put it this way
17:53maybe i can't scare you but i can carve you up with this dingus like so much old boilerplate
17:59after which i'll rip out your wires smash your transformer and vaporize your electrodes
18:06what's left i'll melt down into beer cans does that compute pussycat it computes
18:18yeah you know you're right about there being something peculiar about me it's all coming back to me
18:25now i got separated from will robinson and then i encountered this super swift his name is zeno he is
18:35in
18:35the custody of a space enforcer i hope they hang him he hit me on the head with his pistol
18:41and everything
18:42went black i'm still a little fuzzy minded
18:48now tell me about all the others on this planet so i'll remember them when i meet him again
18:54the real dr smith is a coward a shirker and a liar i know all about myself tell me about
19:04the others
19:05the real dr smith would have that information
19:09must i get ugly with you pussycat negative this planet is inhabited by professor john robinson
19:18his wife maureen his daughters judy and penny and his son will your sisters are judy and penny
19:25and our pilot is major down west now if i was zeno would i know that well you might if
19:30you forced
19:30the real dr smith to give you that information when you held him prisoner back there but i tell
19:34you it was he who held me prisoner he forced me to change clothes don't you believe me well the
19:40space
19:40enforcer doesn't and he's an experienced law officer he says whenever you're caught you come up with some
19:45fantastic lie it's no use i'm doomed to walk the last mile to die a dreadful death at the end
19:52of a rope
19:53in a pit of space vipers all on the testimony of a child i have cherished and loved yes even
19:59defended
19:59with my own life gosh i don't know what to do the space enforcer said i had to tell the
20:04court what
20:05i heard you say and i did hear you confess you know you can lie a little can't you i
20:10heard that
20:11zeno corrupting a miner that's another super crime and what is the penalty for that boiling in oil correct
20:23tell me you're making a landing so soon i shall not allow it you must let me radio ahead for
20:27legal
20:27counsel to represent me at the trial i just received a directive from headquarters in as much as i
20:36have a witness to your confession there will be no trial no trial here we are now oh no you
20:45don't
20:58will help me i'm dead
21:16i'm dead i'm dead
21:30death is such a lonesome place so dark and cold and lonesome oh dear never to see the light never
21:40to
21:40hear music wouldn't be so dark if you'd uncover your eyes and you're not dead you don't even look
21:45like you're hurt very bad
21:49we might both be dead think about that william that's just plain silly you know you just might
21:56be dr smith that's the way he talks that's what i've been trying to tell you that i am dr
22:00smith
22:01what have we here cold as the ice caps of pluto how fortunate let us get hence my boy
22:16you mean you're going to escape but wouldn't that be committing another super crime what of it how
22:21many times do you suppose they can hang me boil me in oil and throw me into a pit of
22:24space vipers
22:25well are you coming well if you really are xeno and i go with you i'll be a criminal too
22:32well i'm not xeno but my life is at stake in every moment i spend on this planet doubles the
22:37jeopardy
22:37now come along my boy let us go out and survey the damage to this vehicle come this is a
22:42cruel
22:42land fraught with danger well william what do you think do you think she'll fly again well she's
22:49dented and banged up a little but i don't see why she shouldn't lift off splendid we'll tie the
22:54enforcer up and then run for home reward seekers greedy for blood money we must flee for our lives
23:03we're trapped surrounded the edge is near zeno don't shoot zeno please don't shoot
23:14please don't kill us zeno we wouldn't inform on you
23:20we're your friends they're scared to death
23:26scat scat
23:38well where there you are my boy no one will dare to touch you when you're with the great zeno
23:54this is gonna go hard on you zeno
24:08okay sister i'll see your bid and elevate you 10 fire sticks what does that mean it means you've
24:15got to put 10 more fire sticks into the purse
24:21four asteroids four galaxies who taught you to play this game sister you did yeah
24:29my distribution warning warning warning he is distributing from the bottom of the deck
24:35is that bad distributing from the bottom of the deck not in galactic poker it ain't
24:42buzz off you pile of junk before i take the 10 snips out there
24:51penny i thought you were going to help with the dinner dishes
24:54oh well um dr smith was just teaching me to play galactic poker yeah it'll round out the kids
25:01education why don't you run along go on in and do them and take those in with you will you
25:06okay mom
25:13you
25:13you
25:13we just arrived in the enforcer spaceship
25:17pino is back
25:23pino's back where is it where where
25:26there
25:27Oh, man!
25:47Dr. Smith, you aren't afraid of anything anymore.
25:50I never was, kid. I never was.
25:51I'd knock off calling me Dr. Smith.
25:53The name is Zeno.
26:00The name is Zeno.
26:10Ah, free lunch.
26:12I think I'm going to like it here.
26:27Well, what are you staring at?
26:30Nothing, Zeno.
26:32Nothing at all.
26:34Yeah.
26:41Yes, sir, Zeno. What do you have, Zeno?
26:44The usual.
26:45Yes, sir.
26:46Right away.
26:49Hiker of the seven-headed dragon of Pluto.
26:58Essence of space viper venom.
27:05Elixir of the purple draconian spider.
27:13Powder tooth of the triple-tailed Torian Bandersnatch.
27:20Stand back, everybody.
27:31There you are, Zeno.
27:44There you are, Zeno.
27:45How could have downed that?
27:47I am Zeno, the kit from Cassiopeia.
27:50I was whelped by a space wolf and raised by a she-tiger in a den of centurion crocodiles.
27:56I can out-fight, out-wrestle, and out-shoot any galoot in the galaxy.
28:01I can run faster, jump higher, and spit farther than any space maverick on the premises.
28:09Wherever I go, men tremble at my glance, and fair maidens swoon at the sight of me.
28:15I am Zeno, the most fearless, super swift in the cosmos.
28:23Well, nobody's arguing.
28:25Yeah!
28:29Hi, Judy Baby.
28:31Dr. Smith, I wish you'd stop looking at me like that.
28:34I was thinking, what a feasible facial structure you have, Judy Baby.
28:39Whatever that means.
28:41What I mean is, I once saw the temple of Aphrodite on the planet Apollo.
28:47Compared to you.
28:48I wish you'd go away.
28:50You've been acting very strange lately, Dr. Smith.
28:52Moonlight brings out the best in me.
28:55And there'll be two great big moons tonight.
29:00Hello, Major.
29:04How aromatic.
29:07How delicate.
29:10How dainty.
29:13See you around, pussycat.
29:26And there I was, surrounded by a whole tribe of Mescalero Aborigines, painted up like Easter eggs, and armed to
29:34the teeth with space arrows.
29:36They rushed at me from all sides with blood-curdling cries.
29:40I waited until I could see the pupils of their eyes.
29:43And then...
29:43And then what did you do, Mr. Zeno?
29:45And then I pulled out old Elizabeth, and...
29:49Zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap!
29:53Ah, merely a dry run, as you were, everybody.
29:57I'd sure like to be a super-swift like you.
29:59Take my word for it, boy, it's a hard life.
30:01You never know when some kid jealous of your reputation will sneak up behind you and zap!
30:08Has any of them ever zapped you?
30:09Not yet.
30:11But there's a circle on the barrel of my gat for everyone that tried.
30:15Oh.
30:16Well, I don't think I'd like that part of it too much.
30:19I guess I'm just not cut out to be a super-swift.
30:21Few of us are.
30:24Aye!
30:26I'm clear as Pete, the scourge of outer space.
30:31I'm the swiftest super-swift that ever blasted up a whole galaxy.
30:36Killed my first man while a babe in arms.
30:38Born me!
30:40And my disposition ain't changed none whatsoever over the years.
30:44I just arrived on your miserable pimple of a planet, and I am spoiling faction.
30:52I ain't killed anybody in a dog's age.
30:57And I am in a mean mood.
31:01Now, which one of you gentlemen craves the honor of engaging me in fair combat?
31:08Which, after our killing, are by libations for all the survivors?
31:16Well, ain't nobody gonna defend the honor of this planet?
31:20Ain't none of you got any civic pride?
31:23There's your man.
31:28That pink-livered, puerile, pusillanimous pipsqueat?
31:32Well, where I come from, we place critters like him on two slices of bread and eat them for sandwiches.
31:38Better be careful, Mr. Zeno.
31:40Please, Pete looks kind of dangerous.
31:42Obviously, he doesn't know my name.
31:48Step!
31:51Do you know who I am, mister?
31:53Nope.
31:54But I just got through telling you what you are.
31:56I am Zeno.
31:59Who?
32:00Zeno.
32:01Z-E-N-O.
32:04That's what I thought you said.
32:07So you're Zeno.
32:10So what?
32:11My dear sir, it's obvious you do not understand the peril you're in.
32:16You see, Zeno is...
32:17Tell him who Zeno is, will you?
32:19Zeno was the most fearless super-swift in the entire galaxy.
32:22Up to now.
32:25Suppose you show them who you are, Zeno.
32:28Yeah.
32:30Yeah.
32:33Suppose you show them.
32:35My dear friend, I'm positive that whatever differences exist between us can be adjudicated in a civilized manner.
32:42Stow it.
32:44Now we draw our weapons on countdown.
32:48Back to back.
32:52Ten.
32:54Nine.
32:55Eight.
32:56Seven.
32:58Six.
33:00Six.
33:01Five.
33:02Four.
33:03Three.
33:04Two.
33:05One.
33:13Two.
33:16Two.
33:17Two.
33:19Two.
33:20Two.
33:22Dr. Smith, help me up here.
33:24What?
33:25Certainly not.
33:25What are you doing?
33:26These seem to be some kind of electronically powered animals.
33:29We can get away on them.
33:30Oh, fine.
33:31Come on.
33:32What kind of fancy fighting was that?
33:34I was fouled.
33:35He didn't win till I counted to zero.
33:37And not only that, but he destroyed the sacred golden globe of Bacchus.
33:41Yeah.
33:41It's sacrilege.
33:43We got them to move.
33:44Well, there must be some controls on him.
33:46Try the ear.
33:47Well, it doesn't work.
33:48Well, maybe the thing is...
33:50Get out of there!
34:00Which way did they go?
34:02They went that way.
34:03They're after them, man.
34:05Come on.
34:11Come on.
34:15Hurry up, you shitty goose.
34:16Hurry up.
34:17Will, don't lie.
34:18Oh, dear.
34:20Wait for me.
34:33Do you think you can drive this thing, Will?
34:35I'm pretty sure I can.
34:36But wouldn't that be another super crime, stealing a space enforcer ship?
34:40If I stay here, I'll be hanged, boiled and oiled and thrown into a pit of space vipers.
34:43Blast off, I tell you!
34:53There she comes!
34:54Look at those!
34:57Go hard on you, Zeno!
35:00Give me the keys to your spacecraft.
35:01I'm going after them.
35:02Watch it.
35:02It slips a little more than second stage.
35:05On my way!
35:05Watch it!
35:14Wait for the sky, I'll blast you.
35:27You wouldn't blast an unarmed robot, would you?
35:32Just having some fun.
35:35Beat it, pussycat.
35:40Smith, how about giving us a hand?
35:43Sorry.
35:44Never mind being sorry.
35:45Just walk that old cart over to the smelter.
35:47Uh-uh.
35:48Not in my line.
35:50Oh?
35:51Just what is your line, you senile delinquent?
35:55What did you call me?
35:57A senile delinquent.
36:01Any objections?
36:03Yeah.
36:05Just this.
36:10One more step, or I'll blast you.
36:13What's the idea of drawing a gun?
36:16Should I pull a gun on my old friend the Major?
36:20What could have come over me?
36:21Yeah.
36:23That's what I'd like to know.
36:28It seems I haven't fully recovered from the concussion I suffered at the hands of that dreadful Zeno.
36:34Will you forgive me, dear boy?
36:38Ah, beat it, Smith.
36:39You make me sick.
36:44Very well, dear boy.
36:52How do you figure that?
36:53Who knows?
36:54Ah, well, the way he talked, the way he pulled that gun, all of a sudden I had a feeling
36:58it wasn't even Smith at all.
36:59Well, maybe you're right.
37:00On the other hand, he might have a concussion.
37:03Either way, he got out of work, didn't he?
37:05Yeah, that he did.
37:25William, there's something I wish to discuss with you.
37:28What is it, Mr. Zeno?
37:29That is the very thing I wish to discuss with you.
37:31You see, I'm not really Zeno after all.
37:34We're not going to start that again, are we, Mr. Zeno?
37:37This is of vital importance, my boy. Now listen carefully.
37:40When we get home, there will be a person there pretending to be Dr. Smith.
37:42But he is not Dr. Smith. I am Dr. Smith. He is Zeno.
37:47What's this? A spaceship on the port bow?
37:49It must be the enforcer.
37:51Won't this thing go any faster?
38:05Thanks, Sister Yarny.
38:08She is not an angel. She is a very gullible little girl.
38:12Why do you say that?
38:12He is not ill. He is malingering.
38:15How do you know that, pussycat? Are you programmed as a doctor?
38:20Just an educated guess.
38:22You've gotten all the mileage you're going to get out of that concussion.
38:25Let's go.
38:29It's Zeno, the space killer.
38:34Save me. Save me.
38:36That's a lie. He's Zeno. I'm Dr. Smith.
38:39Gosh, two Dr. Smith.
38:41That's two too many.
38:42He's dangerous. Take that gun away from him.
38:45Will.
38:48Oh, Will. Oh, my. Oh, thank heaven you're safe.
38:53Where's the enforcer?
38:54Didn't he bring you back?
38:55No, we escaped. Zeno made me steal a spaceship.
38:58Did you hear the boy? He admits that's Zeno.
39:01Well, if he's not, you are. Anyway, one of you, Zeno, that's for sure.
39:05That's he, wearing my clothes.
39:07He lies. He's the most bloodthirsty murderer in all space.
39:12I'm not a murderer. I never killed a man unless he...
39:15I mean to say, I never killed anyone.
39:17Did I, William?
39:18You sure said you did.
39:19I did not, you dreadful little boy.
39:21I only said that because Zeno threatened to blast me.
39:25Well, whoever you are, let's have that gun.
39:26Oh, no, you don't.
39:27If I surrender my arms, I shall be at the mercy of that fiendish Superswift.
39:30My life is at stake.
39:32Look what you've done.
39:33Without me to protect you, Zeno will kill us all.
39:37It's the space enforcer. He's coming here.
39:40Somebody save me. He's going to hang me.
39:42Throw me into fitness.
39:43Place my bones.
39:44Fire me in oil.
39:45Oh, dear.
39:48All right, you. Move it in there now.
39:50Come on. Get up there.
39:51Bombs against the wall then.
39:52You run there, too.
39:53You're making a serious mistake, sir.
39:55I shall hold you to account.
39:56You get back over there.
39:57Now, Professor Robinson, would you say that this man followed the normal behavior pattern of Dr. Smith for the last
40:03two days?
40:04Well, at times, yes. At, uh, other times, definitely not.
40:07Uh, John.
40:08Oh.
40:09Excuse me.
40:09Just a minute there.
40:11When you arrive at a decision, be sure to let me know.
40:15Uh, this may be of some help to you.
40:17Old Lefty here pulled a gun on me.
40:19Now, that's something that Dr. Smith would never do. He's too big a coward.
40:21I resent that.
40:23If my behavior hasn't been normal for the last two days, it's due to a concussion I suffered at the
40:28hands of that desperado.
40:30I'm a man of peace, sir. Please believe me.
40:33I'm inclined to believe you.
40:35My own personal knowledge of this man convinces me that he's tricky, evasive, unreliable, and utterly incapable of speaking the
40:42truth.
40:42Well, now, that describes Smith to a T. But the trouble is, it also fits him.
40:46So I guess we're not getting anywhere, are we?
40:51Now, this man was your companion after he escaped from my custody. How did he behave?
40:57Very peculiar.
40:58Ah.
40:59Well, in your opinion, did he behave more as Dr. Smith would have, or as Zeno the outlaw?
41:05Well, kind of like both.
41:07How do you mean that?
41:08Well, at first he was scared silly, and then he got awfully brave.
41:11I did not. I was scared silly all the time.
41:14He didn't act it when we got to the Temple of Bacchus.
41:16Uh-huh. And what did he do in the Temple of Bacchus?
41:20Well, he bragged he could out-shoot, out-wrestle, out-fight any galoot in the galaxy.
41:26That sounds like Zeno, all right.
41:28Now see what you've done, you ungrateful child.
41:31You've stabbed the best friend you ever had right in the back.
41:34It was just a bit of bravura, sir.
41:37I was merely bluffing.
41:39Oh, my dear good friend, will you kindly tell the Enforcer who I really am?
41:45Surely you recognize me, my bosom companion?
41:48The real Dr. Smith is no friend of mine.
41:51He insults me and calls me bad names.
41:53He often threatens to destroy me.
41:56Which one of these two men treated you in that manner?
41:58Both of them have treated me in that manner.
42:00You tin-plated traitor! Just for that, I'll rip out all your wires.
42:04See?
42:05Lunch is ready.
42:06And high time, too, my dear.
42:12You too, Dr. Smith, or whoever you are.
42:15My dear girl, how can you talk about food when my life hangs in the balance?
42:21Lunch and teas.
42:23Well, he has to be Zeno.
42:25Dr. Smith, he's on his way to the guillotine.
42:31Oh, please, sir. You're making a terrible mistake.
42:35Well, I see that you've arrived at a decision.
42:37Well, since it's impossible to tell which of the two suspects is the real Zeno,
42:41I'm taking them both into custody.
42:43Both?
42:44Don't worry, sir. They shall receive a fair trial by ordeal.
42:47By ordeal?
42:48See what you've done to me, William Robinson.
42:50Just what do you mean by trial by ordeal?
42:53It's the scientific application of the rack and the thumb screw.
42:57In other words, trial by torture, right?
42:59I'm sorry, but that's the law of the Space Federation.
43:02That does not compute. That is illegal.
43:05What do you know about it? Are you a space lawyer?
43:07I have been programmed with a galactic legal code.
43:11Your warrant is for one man.
43:13Therefore, you cannot legally take two men into custody.
43:16Are you sure about that?
43:17My programming is infallible.
43:20Well, in that case...
43:21I shall never abuse you again as long as I live, dear friend.
43:25He's not your friend. He's my friend.
43:28Aren't you, dear boy?
43:29Negative. I am friend to neither one of you.
43:32Well, I only have one alternative left to me.
43:35Trial by combat.
43:36Well, how does that work?
43:37Well, the two suspects fight a duel with pistols under regulations set down by the Space Federation.
43:43And what will that prove?
43:44Well, since Zeno is the fastest super-swift in the galaxy, he's bound to win.
43:49Him I will take into custody.
43:50No, no, no. That means an innocent man will be killed.
43:52Sorry, but that's the law of the Space Federation.
43:55Well, I can't let you go through with that.
43:57What you're proposing is nothing less than cold-blooded murder.
43:59Are you interfering with the space official in the line of duty?
44:02If you wish to put it that way.
44:04In that case, you're under arrest, too.
44:06Then you'll have to take me, too.
44:07Oh, come on.
44:08Mr. Enforcer!
44:09Mr. Enforcer, they're getting away!
44:13I'll get them this time.
44:15He's trying to steal your ship!
44:24Where's Smith?
44:26Here he is.
44:27Are you all right, sir?
44:28All right, indeed.
44:31Sure has all the earmarks of our Dr. Smith.
44:36That must be Zeno.
44:38I'll put the Enforcer close behind.
44:39Think he'll catch him this time, Dad?
44:41Well, I'm not sure, son, but...
44:42I have a feeling that the Enforcer will be chasing Zeno around for some time to come.
44:47Well, let's help our conquering hero back to the ship, huh?
44:55Ah, there you are, kid!
44:57Did you see that yellow-bellied coward cut out and run from the great Zeno?
45:01Yes, sir. I saw him run.
45:03I have seen you do the same often enough, Dr. Smith.
45:06Zeno, ninny!
45:09Stick around, rattle-trap.
45:10Or I may need another light.
45:13Danger! The real Zeno is approaching!
45:15Nonsense!
45:16I'm the real...
45:18Zeno!
45:21Save me! Save me!
45:24The robot was just kidding, Dr. Smith.
45:26Oh, the pain. The pain.
45:30You know, I wish you wouldn't wear that outfit. It just doesn't look good on you anymore.
45:35And besides, I like you better the way you really are.
45:38You do?
45:44You really do?
45:45You prefer me as my own inimitably lovable self?
45:48How sweet of you to say so, my dear little friend. How sweet you are.
45:53I think I'm gonna cry.
46:00That bird song.
46:02Definitely the cry of the grackle.
46:04Do you realize what it would mean to the science of ornithology to discover a grackle on this planet?
46:08No. Would it be important?
46:10Important, my dear boy. It would be a thirst.
46:13And if ever I return to Earth, I shall be able to write a monograph.
46:17Oh dear, it's moving away from us. Come along, William. And don't forget the sandwiches.
46:20I could go a lot faster if you'd carry some of this stuff.
46:23Indeed, whatever is the younger generation coming to.
46:26When I was a young boy, I was eager to carry heavy loads, confident that the exercise would improve my
46:30muscles.
46:32Oh, very well. I'll lighten your loads here.
46:36Yes.
46:38Thanks a lot.
46:40Our prey will escape.
46:46Oh dear, we've lost it.
46:48Dr. Smith?
46:49Yes?
46:50What's that?
46:55Oh, upon my soul, it looks like a lyre.
46:59A kind of harp played in ancient times.
47:02It must belong to somebody.
47:06Hmm. Oh my, yes.
47:11Whatever these stones are, they must be of tremendous value.
47:15Dr. Smith, I think you'd better leave it alone.
47:18Anyone can see, it's only a...
47:23No!
47:31Where am I?
47:33All these rocks?
47:36And the fire?
47:39That dreadful smell of brimstone?
47:44Oh no!
47:45Help me!
47:48I think a kindly, noble, Zachary Smith should end up in this infernal place.
47:55It's not fair!
47:58Oh dear!
47:59Well, Zachary, so you finally got here.
48:04Good heavens!
48:05Good heavens!
48:06Ha ha ha!
48:08Guess again?
48:09Guess again?
48:10Yeah.
48:20No!
48:23Either way.
48:26Better than perfect none.
48:28That quote was the Princess.
48:29Ine.othée
48:48THE END
49:09THE END
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