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00:02Jim, I just popped in to say how much I appreciate the energy and enthusiasm and dedication you're bringing to
00:07the new task.
00:08And indeed the seriousness with which you're treating it.
00:11Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
00:17Thank you, sir.
00:42The Good Guy.
01:05Well, no, that's your perception of it, which, with the greatest respect, is wrong, you see, because we are at
01:12the cutting edge here, and we're undercover, and we're doing what we do best. We're saving people's lives.
01:20Now, remember, children, nonce. Night owls never cross erratically.
01:24Now, what you must do...
01:26The Good Guys have been put on special assignment.
01:30The Chippy Chipmunk rode safety course.
01:32A zebra crossing.
01:33A zebra crossing, of course it is. Now, some people are silly, and they cross in the wrong place.
01:38And, oh, I think I see a silly person coming.
01:41Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
01:44Now, sir, a tomato cross in the wrong place.
01:50Can anybody tell me what he is now?
01:52Yes.
01:53He's squashed on the ground.
01:54Yes, he is, but he's a squashed tomato, isn't he?
01:57That's right, he's a squashed tomato.
01:59He's actually pureed tomato now.
02:02Tomato ketchup is what he is.
02:04Okay, stop giggling, Mark, please.
02:07And I only hope if these kids see me dressed as safety squirrel, that they're going to get some sort
02:11of...
02:11No, no, no, you're a chipmunk.
02:12No, I'm a squirrel.
02:13You're a chipmunk.
02:14That's why I call you Chippy.
02:15However, change is in the air, as D.I. Beach receives an unexpected summons.
02:24Oh, my God.
02:28We've been given a job of looking after the country's most prestigious family.
02:32A obscure reason I can't tell you who that is.
02:35Well, get the men together, come on.
02:36I can't see them.
02:37You know, the kids don't want to get run over all the kids.
02:40More in the jungle.
02:41Let me survive if they can.
02:43Yes, we did contact Detective Inspector Beach because this particular visit does fall under the jurisdiction of his force.
02:50And the family are very keen to visit this specific public house so that they can meet ordinary people.
02:58You know, spend a short time amongst ordinary folk.
03:01And it's entirely fitting that ordinary policemen should oversee the operation.
03:06All very ordinary.
03:08We're unhappy about this perception that the family is perhaps losing touch with ordinary life.
03:16So what we want is everything to be absolutely normal.
03:20A reality pill, if you like.
03:23However, D.I. Beach has other ideas.
03:26As quick as you can, get all those leaves up and put them back on a tree.
03:29Sir.
03:30All right.
03:31Strings, has that carpet been washed?
03:33I don't know, sir.
03:34I can only have full remnants.
03:35It's covered in stains.
03:36You can see it from up here.
03:38I'll get some 2001, sir.
03:39Okay.
03:40Bones?
03:41Yes, sir.
03:42Is that gloss?
03:44That's emulsion, sir.
03:45Well, get gloss.
03:46I want green gloss for green grass, all right?
03:49Green gloss.
03:50I don't care.
03:51I want it nice and shiny.
03:53Go on, Liggy spit.
03:54What do you think you're doing?
03:57Sorry, sir?
03:57What do you think you look like?
03:59On your head?
04:00Oh!
04:01Oh.
04:02Yes, I just racked it out.
04:04It's for the guests.
04:05I put it makes me look more legal.
04:07Ridiculous.
04:09Anyway, if anybody's going to wear a golden helmet, it's going to be me.
04:20I'd love to tell you the identity of this family, but obviously I can't for security reasons.
04:24I'm sure you understand that.
04:25But we're going to codename them the Jubilee family.
04:29And the only thing I can tell you at this stage is that we do have a bit of a
04:34dilemma as to whether we're going to drive them or fly them by RAF helicopter from Windsor.
04:42One, two, three, eight.
04:48Oh!
04:50What did you do that for?
04:52It was you.
04:53What?
04:53Nobody wears a hat in her presence.
04:56Can you make an effort, please?
04:57Oh, you're making an effort.
04:58You tell me to keep it on.
05:00We do insist that a toilet is available to the family at all times.
05:08Now, this is going to require rather more planning than you may imagine, because the important point is that the
05:13facility needs to be no further than 15 feet away from the family at any one time.
05:1915 feet?
05:20Well, I hope their aim is as good as it is when they're shooting in their pudges.
05:24I feel like this.
05:25It's also important that this facility is in tip-top condition.
05:31Right, come here.
05:32Come here, please.
05:34Oh, put your head down there.
05:35Look at that.
05:36It's filthy.
05:37If that was clean with any degree of frequency, we wouldn't have this problem, would you?
05:40Now, somebody, somebody would have to take a chisel to that.
05:44When about 16, 17, they had this operation.
05:47They do wee-wee, but the operation stops them doing pooping.
05:51Well, they never, ever go for a chisel.
05:53No, they do wee-wee.
05:54They've got to go.
05:55Colostomy bag, it's called, isn't it?
05:57Well, I don't know.
05:58No, it ain't colostomy, is it?
05:59I don't know what it is, but they just don't go.
06:01That's why.
06:01That's why.
06:02When you ever meet the mother, you're supposed to never pat her handbag.
06:07I don't know what all the fuss is about, mate.
06:09I mean, we've all had a discussion.
06:11And it's come a noise, isn't it?
06:12Everyone knows that the Jubilees do not go to the toilet.
06:16Beach has ordered Mark and Bones to clear the area of all offensive material.
06:22They've asked us to look after the dietary and the sanitary needs of the corgis.
06:33Now, that is smashing, isn't it?
06:35Meanwhile, meticulous preparations continue.
06:38Sir, the idea is we have these on observation when we're stuck in a building.
06:43And what we're going to do is we're going to take these out, put one in every room,
06:46so that at any time Jubilee is only 15 feet away from a toilet.
06:51Corgis, you shouldn't have said corgis.
06:53Yeah, well, I've said it.
06:54I mean, it's not a big deal, is it?
06:55They're not going to use it.
06:55It's not going out live.
06:56Jubilee Chihuahuas.
06:58Mark, can you come in here, look at this.
07:00We've decided to zhuzh it up a little bit.
07:02These are the ones for your book, aren't they, sir?
07:04They are.
07:04They really set it off.
07:05And these cherries, they look like the ones in your bedroom, sir.
07:08They are the ones in my bedroom.
07:09Really?
07:10Yes, let's have a look inside.
07:11Yeah.
07:11It's fully loaded.
07:13All fluffy bits and that.
07:14That's it.
07:15Just in case of accident.
07:16I'm just kidding.
07:16Can you bring the camera in, Mark?
07:18That's it.
07:18At the back here, we put a piece of velvet, red velvet, because, well, the crown could scratch.
07:25And you could so easily lose a stone.
07:27Well, that one looks like a small doggy, doesn't it?
07:32We found quite a lot, actually.
07:34We've got about two pound here.
07:36Tony's shouting at me.
07:37I'm not shouting.
07:39We can only afford one portaloom.
07:41Don't tell that Tony with me.
07:42We can only afford one portaloom.
07:44How can we keep it 15 feet away from her and him and him at one time?
07:49It has to be 15 feet raised in a book.
07:51I don't know.
07:51We're working out.
07:53Improvise.
07:55Right, now, you have to imagine, sir, that I'm one of them.
07:58Okay?
07:59Ready?
07:59Watch.
08:00Hop.
08:01That's perfect.
08:0215 feet above the times.
08:04Oh, you've got to drop back.
08:05Back a bit, Bill.
08:06You should really stay back, because I knew it would splosh about in there.
08:09You know what I mean?
08:09It's funny, isn't it?
08:10Yeah, but I've never seen, you don't see any white dog shit anymore, do you?
08:14I ain't seen, it's like, not since the 70s.
08:20Anything?
08:22Oh, I'm definitely getting something, definitely.
08:24Oh, yeah, I'm not.
08:25I think it's working.
08:28Another officer, dispatch to the front.
08:30Oh, hello, sir.
08:31Oh, stone and rose, Bill.
08:33Oh, no, I've got that.
08:34I've got that.
08:34I can taste it down the back of me throat, sir.
08:36Oh, God, I have to blind you.
08:39Obviously, they've asked me to look after the music for the Jubilee's visit.
08:44And between you and me, it's a bit embarrassing.
08:45I mean, have a look at that.
08:47Because I'm a bit of an anarchist, you see.
08:49But, well, the job's got to be done, so we'll crack on with it.
08:52I'm going to give them a real strings welcome.
08:54It's going to be rock and roll.
08:56God save the ****.
08:59I shouldn't have said that.
09:00In you go, Ed.
09:01I'll suffer from this.
09:02Sort those dents out, Ray.
09:05Look if you can.
09:06Oh, my God.
09:06Oh, the smell.
09:08Oh, the smell is unmerciful, son.
09:12Got to do something about the soundproofing, just on.
09:16Just get rid of it.
09:17We've got to get it out.
09:18We've got to dispose of it in an orderly fashion.
09:21Look, let's bung it in here.
09:23See, if this gets in a kid's eye, right, it's got a worm in it.
09:26It makes him go blind.
09:27It's absolutely, I don't know, our kids can't pick it up.
09:33God, I wonder what he had last night.
09:36The Jubilees are going to be here in an hour.
09:38And look, the place looks like a rubbish tip.
09:40Come on, get all the rubbish together.
09:42Sarge.
09:42Just plong it down here in the middle of the floor.
09:44What?
09:44Where's we put the shit?
09:45Just put it down there.
09:46We get all the bags together, and then we'll go and skip them.
09:49Well, mix it up with all the other rubbish.
09:50Put it down there, bones.
09:53Oh, no, no, no.
09:55What's all this?
09:57It's less of an hour before the Jubilees arrive, and there's bags and bags and bloody bags
10:02of rubbish everywhere.
10:03All right, so I'm going to skip it.
10:04You were going to do it, Wayne.
10:05You were always going to do it.
10:07I'd never actually do it now again.
10:08Let me get it done now.
10:09Do you?
10:10All right.
10:22The smell of pine disinfectant still lingering in the air, the Jubilees finally arrive for
10:29their low-key visit.
10:56Can you, Mark, have you seen both?
10:59Your Highness, would you come?
11:01Have you got us both in Chotland?
11:04But it is actually bomb-proof, and it's bullet-proof, but rather lovely to look at at the same time,
11:11I think.
11:11Well, that's all very well.
11:13Of course, don't you think it'd be so much more attractive if they were leaded?
11:22As in?
11:25No, no.
11:26Well, it's...
11:28They're designed to keep lead out.
11:31So then the governor kicked the bag and was covered in shit, and that was ten minutes
11:35before you arrived.
11:36So he stinks.
11:37We've got the worst off, but he's time to spray him every time the...
11:40Oh, for heaven's sake.
11:42I mean, we are always covered in the stuff, and the public school, the armed services,
11:46all the time.
11:47We don't bother to wash it off.
11:49Now, have you got your own teeth?
11:51Of course.
11:51Right, because I'm going to get you some biscuits, okay?
11:54You're not like the other old people I look after, you know?
11:57You don't smell the pee.
11:58Right, now, do you want chocolate bourbons or custard creams?
12:02Here, chaps, come over here.
12:03Look, look.
12:05I was supposed to look after the corkis, but they've put me in charge of the cars.
12:09Look, it's got everything.
12:10It's GPS.
12:11It's got a bomb-proof floor, lead-filled doors, bullet-proof windows.
12:16Now I can practice my anti-terrorist driving techniques.
12:19Watch this, mate.
12:31I understand you both served in the Royal Marines.
12:36Yes, sir.
12:37Yes, sir.
12:3779 through to 84, sir.
12:40Dessard and Bill take Jubilee 2 down memory lane.
12:43And they took hold of him and made him put the white vest on.
12:51And the little white knickers, sir.
12:53And the white socks, sir.
12:55The little ones?
12:56The little ones, yeah.
12:58And then they covered him in glitter, sir.
13:03Well, that's tremendous.
13:04I'm very, very pleased to know that.
13:08Thank you, sir.
13:09Meanwhile, Jubilee 1 is enduring D.S. Ash's every attention.
13:14Into the tunnel goes the train.
13:17No, it does not.
13:32Just...
13:36Here you are.
13:38Here we have the modern-day questioning room.
13:40It's where you see the familiar twin-deck tape recorder.
13:45I'm rather interested in questioning rooms myself.
13:47Well, I've actually done some drawings.
13:51Would you like to see them?
13:52They're rather pretty little watercolours.
13:54Oh, yes, indeed.
13:55We would.
13:55Excellent.
13:56So, certainly, if you're going out here.
13:58What fun.
13:59I was enormously pleased with the water and the trees in the background.
14:04And the lovely liberal use of colour.
14:06Hang on a minute.
14:07That's a ducking stonch.
14:08Strings, please.
14:10No, I'm sorry, sir.
14:11That's a fascist representation of a torture device.
14:13Shut up.
14:15I particularly like the restraints in the bar.
14:18What I thought I'd do is, obviously, letting the corgis run about, it's going to tire them out.
14:22So, when the jubilees have finished their visit, they're going to go back to their house.
14:26The corgis are going to be tired.
14:27And, obviously, then, you know, they're going to sort of...
14:29They're going to be able to go to bed.
14:35Oh, no.
14:37What have you done, you idiot, look!
14:39Well, I didn't see them.
14:40Well, you've done another one.
14:41You've done both of them.
14:42I just turned a club.
14:43Oh, Jesus.
14:43That's all I heard.
14:45What are we going to do?
14:46Well, Arthur, you're supposed to be looking after the dogs.
14:49Yeah, but you weren't supposed to f***ing drive the car around the car park, would you?
14:52You're not supposed to let them...
14:53You're supposed to sit in the proxy car lock.
14:55What happened to the leads?
14:56Oh, no.
14:58Oh, I like this one.
15:00Mm-hmm.
15:01Yeah, that's a tremendous idea.
15:03That's a nice one, isn't it, sir?
15:05Nice colour, sir.
15:08Looks like an Indian made that one.
15:10More like a cowboy, I'd say.
15:13Now, look, I'm going to have to stop you there.
15:14Why?
15:15Because you can't go further than 15 feet from the toilet.
15:19Good heavens, why?
15:20Well, it says so in your book, doesn't it?
15:21Now, come on, sit down.
15:22Well, of course, Gordon said we had a rather good game called Hide the Chocolate Truffle,
15:27and you had to secrete it on your person.
15:30Well, of course, everybody knew exactly where they were going to go.
15:35Well, I had a rather good wheeze.
15:36I hide it behind my ear.
15:39Meanwhile, the bonding between Jubilee 2 and the ART continues.
15:46Oh, yes.
15:47Takes me back.
15:49We've got a long day ahead of us, so I want you to go to the loo.
15:52OK.
15:52But I don't need to go to the toilet.
15:54Yes, you do.
15:54You do.
15:55It's them rusts.
15:55They go straight through you.
15:57You do.
15:58Jubilee 1's patience is finally beginning to wear thin.
16:01Come on, in.
16:02In.
16:02That's it.
16:03All right, it's a little brush there if you go number twos, all right?
16:06And I'll be right outside, but I won't listen.
16:10You have to be firm with the elderly.
16:17I saw Mummy and Daddy on the ship, ran up the gangplank, and she wouldn't even kiss me.
16:24Not even just a little kiss on the cheek.
16:28She just shook my hand.
16:31Just hearing that makes me so cross.
16:35It was extraordinary.
16:37Has your mother ever kissed you?
16:38No.
16:40No, she'd ever kissed me, but she did other things.
16:44Of course, I mean, nobody's understood me.
16:47My nannies, my parents, God, even my polo ponies.
16:53I understand.
16:55What on earth?
16:56It smells of poo.
16:57Don't scream, don't you?
16:59You can even close.
17:01That's it.
17:02Come down.
17:02No.
17:05Oh, that's a bit better, I suppose.
17:08I've been given the great honour of looking after Jubilee One because I'm very good with old people, you see.
17:13Oh, she seems to be stirring now.
17:17Oh, yeah.
17:21It's the rasks, you see.
17:23Now, this is a lovely bit of kit, sir.
17:25It's a flashbang grenade.
17:27We throw them into the room when the terrorists are there, and a huge explosion disorientates them.
17:32Beautiful, and it's British made.
17:34Hmm.
17:34It certainly doesn't look as if it's made by an Indian.
17:37No.
17:38Shit!
17:39It's lying!
17:40It's lying!
17:42It's lying!
17:43It's going!
17:44What's going on?
17:45What's going on?
17:46Come here, quick!
17:48What are you doing?
17:50It's up!
17:50Come on, how are we?
17:54Very successful day so far.
17:56I seem to have bonded well with Jubilee One.
18:00Mark, come on.
18:03What we're going to do now is go off to the East End pub for a real East End knees
18:07-up, and I'm quite looking forward to that, right?
18:08How about you?
18:10I don't think they should film this, sir.
18:13Whilst Jubilee One receives on-the-spot medical attention, Beach travels ahead to ensure the rest of the day goes
18:20without a hitch.
18:22There are people here that have no organisation to leave here for the, you know, visit of the gym.
18:27They say, I don't know, it's what's wrong with us.
18:29Come on.
18:30Silence, please!
18:31Let's have you all up on your feet now!
18:33On your feet!
18:34Come on, chop, chop!
18:35Come on, up against the bar.
18:36Come on.
18:37Move it.
18:37Quick about it.
18:38Move it.
18:38Come on.
18:39Mind just lining up against the bar, please?
18:43Get them all out of here!
18:44What's that?
18:44Everybody!
18:48Follow the police, obviously.
18:51Just get into the bank of the police, please.
18:53Thanks very much.
18:55I really think you should just calm down, okay?
18:58Why is it just going to be...
18:59Just calm down.
19:00Just calm down.
19:02Come and have a cup of tea and a tablet.
19:03You'll be alright.
19:04I don't want a tea.
19:05I don't want a tablet.
19:05I want the real, authentic EastEnders in here now, please.
19:09You're going fetch them.
19:10Right.
19:12We've been given our orders by the governor.
19:15We've been told to acquire the target.
19:18And we've been told to shoot to kill.
19:24There he is, Bill.
19:2750 yards approaching.
19:3040.
19:3230.
19:33I have.
19:33I have.
19:34Go!
19:35Go!
19:35Go!
19:38Sir, I've got those EastEnd people, like you said.
19:41Having cleared the pub of all its regulars,
19:43speech introduces a more authentic EastEnd crowd.
19:49Welcome.
19:50Hi, boss.
19:50Yeah.
19:51Hi, sir.
19:52Hi, Mark.
19:52Come on.
19:53Hi, lads.
19:53We're cheeky, chirpy cockneys today.
19:56Feed the birds, tap and survey, gun.
19:59Freaky, blumky, blimey, gun.
20:01Real people.
20:04You see, the problem with all this was, which, are you getting me there, Mark, in there, was
20:09finding the real EastEnd people, the people that actually won the war for this country,
20:14the backbone, the bulldog breed, the real cockneys, those born within the sound of bow bowels.
20:20I mean, how long were we looking before we found these pubs?
20:22Look, I wasn't in the free days, I couldn't find them, could I?
20:25So you mentioned the Pearly Kings and Queens Association.
20:27And that was it, bingo, there we are.
20:29But, the fiesta resistance, if you come round this way, Mark, is a real EastEnd barmaid.
20:36She's not going to be there, she's not going to be there, she's not, she's not.
20:40Minds a pint of Buddha, please, Sharon?
20:43Minds not on, really, I was just sitting there, please come through me door, telling me to
20:48get up, I've got to go to a real EastEnd pub.
20:50I mean, for the ****, I like the **** family and that.
20:54I mean, don't get me wrong, I mean, as it happens, me mum would probably be well, please.
21:02That's a fantastic pint, you tell us you used to work in a pub, can't you?
21:07Smashing, put a head on that.
21:08Isn't it?
21:10Do you know, I didn't even work in the Vic.
21:12I beg your pardon?
21:13I didn't even work in the **** Vic.
21:15They dragged me out of my ass, they think I've got nothing to do since I left that programme,
21:19do they?
21:20Do they think that I don't get no work?
21:22I don't know about that.
21:24Yeah, sometimes it is a bloody thankless task, and we have to take life.
21:29It doesn't really matter, does it?
21:31Well, it doesn't matter to you.
21:32No.
21:33But, yeah, I mean, he does it well, doesn't he?
21:35He's like a heartbreaker, life taker.
21:38Look, the governor's asked me to sort of be the official food taster.
21:45I have to take a little bite out of everything, just to, um, see if it's not poison.
21:54Well, no, no, it was very prudent of sir.
21:56He spotted the fact that the drinks weren't tested for poison, and he took it upon himself
22:01to do that.
22:02It's just unfortunate there was a rather a lot of them.
22:07Blue one's fine.
22:11That's good.
22:12Sir, do you mind if I just air a worry?
22:14Lagers night.
22:15We don't have any worries, Ray.
22:16Well, shouldn't you let the other men drink them, sir, and then we can spread the load
22:19a little, couldn't we?
22:20Oh, men can't drink on duty, Ray.
22:21Now, where's the gin?
22:23That one, Miss.
22:23Got it.
22:24Right.
22:38Having consumed 25 units of alcohol in the line of duty, Beech is now rehearsing the
22:45spontaneous knees-up for the Jubilee's arrival.
22:48A barrel from the gang's old pier.
22:52Yeah.
22:57Seems right so far.
23:00That's all right.
23:03Get it all up now.
23:04Go on.
23:05Oh, God.
23:05You got it all up?
23:06No.
23:07It's a funny colour, isn't it, sir?
23:09Oh, I've got it.
23:10No, come on.
23:12All right, OK?
23:14Oh, God, I must have picked up a germ off a dirty glass.
23:17I know, I know you did.
23:18Come on, let's go out.
23:19There's a glove.
23:20No, no, glove's gone.
23:21No, no, you haven't lost it.
23:22It's gone down to your island, was it?
23:23Yeah, let's leave it there.
23:24It's dirty.
23:25Don't leave it.
23:25Excuse me, don't leave it.
23:26I'm not going to leave it.
23:27Excuse me, boys.
23:28Come on.
23:35Having regained her composure and her hearing, Jubilee One dutifully continues her tour.
23:48You made f***ing your servant.
23:54Hello, Patsy.
23:56It's so nice to see you.
23:57It's so nice to see you.
23:57How are you?
23:58How are you, Mr. EastEnders?
23:59Oh, my God.
24:01So you've got it, then?
24:02Yeah, I've got it, yeah.
24:02Well, the governor would be pleased about that.
24:04Yeah, but we've been talking, Ray, and we think we're right on the edge of the law on this
24:08one.
24:08Don't worry about it.
24:09We are the law.
24:09Now, pop it in the microwave, quick.
24:11How long?
24:11Give it half hour on full blast bill, all right?
24:15Meanwhile, Bones is leading the entertainment extravaganza.
24:20Good evening.
24:21It's my turn now to do a little joke that I heard the other day.
24:27That's all this guy, I hope.
24:29This fella, he's up in court for buggering a corgi.
24:36Anyway, he comes up in front of the judge, and the judge says, buggering a corgi?
24:41He says, that's disgusting, my man.
24:44How low can you get?
24:47At first, it's chihuahua.
24:50Where are my dogs?
24:53I just feel certain I've met you before.
24:56Perhaps it's just you'll remind me a little of...
25:01Oh, I thought he was going to say Fergie.
25:06Fergie, who's she?
25:08I have to inform you that this has been the most disgraceful display I have ever experienced
25:13in all my years representing this family.
25:16Beach is beginning to see his chances of a knighthood receding.
25:20...of Detective Inspector Beach is something...
25:22Ah!
25:23What have you done?
25:25All right, shh.
25:26Quiet, please.
25:27The pièce de résistance coming in right now.
25:30Ba-ba-da-da-da-da-da-da.
25:31Real pub grub for a real pub lady.
25:33Ba-ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
25:35Stuffed with a turkey.
25:36Swan in a basket.
25:38How disgusting.
25:39Oh, come on.
25:40F***ing cellar.
25:42Sort your missus out, will you?
25:43It's beautiful.
25:45Get out of here.
25:46F***ing disgusting.
25:48Without Beach at the helm, things are rapidly beginning to spiral out of control.
25:54You, call yourself a man, you wouldn't even kiss your son.
25:57What kind of father do you think you are?
25:59You've got a heart of stone.
26:00You're a cold man, you are.
26:02That's all right.
26:02You'll kiss my f***ing head by the time they'll give me a damn kick in.
26:06You understand me?
26:10No.
26:11No, no.
26:11In retrospect, I think it went very, very well.
26:14You know, taking into account the governor's behaviour, that was due to drinking in the
26:19line of duty and taking tranquilisers.
26:22Well, they just don't mix, do they?
26:25Ooh, no, I had a slice of toast for breakfast this morning.
26:28I couldn't possibly eat anything now.
26:30Right, OK, you've had enough, and we're going to go.
26:33We're going.
26:33I'm not going anywhere.
26:34Yes, you are.
26:35You're coming with me.
26:35I've only just started.
26:36You've f***ing known you just started.
26:38You're coming with me.
26:39Oh, piss off.
26:39Look, come on.
26:40Don't you touch my hand on me.
26:41I'm not touching you now.
26:42Don't get aggressive with me.
26:43You always make me leave when I'm having a good time now.
26:45You always do this every time we go out.
26:47No, we don't.
26:47Come on, let's go.
26:48Get to the bar and get these people a drink.
26:50You can have a drink with me.
26:51You cannot hold your drink.
26:51Get her a snowball.
26:52He's not normal.
26:53He'll have a scotch.
26:54Come on, come with me.
26:58I wasn't too bad, was I right?
27:00No, no, no, you were fine.
27:03Well, that's all the scuffling, I suppose.
27:05Scuffling.
27:07Oh, no.
27:10Oh, God, no.
27:11Yeah, well, it's 52 shots.
27:1452 shots of alcohol.
27:15No one can take that.
27:17And a cap at all, at the end of the evening,
27:19I caught him drinking half a bottle of champagne.
27:22I think he mugged himself off.
27:25Oh, my God, I'm never going to get a light one now.
27:29How are you going to get the seat of me?
27:31No, you won't.
27:32Oh, my God.
27:35The Jubilees finally beat a hasty retreat.
27:38Harry, stop it.
27:40Oh, God.
27:42What are you looking at?
27:43What up?
27:46Harry, come back here, you bastard.
27:47Sarge!
27:50Well, to be honest, he really let us down.
27:54I mean, you can't act like that in front of the family.
27:56No, I'm sorry.
27:57I'm sorry, security.
27:58You can't say who it is, Bones.
28:00You can't, OK?
28:00I mean, everyone knows, Sarge.
28:03I mean, look, they were filming.
28:05He's lucky he never ended up in the bleeding tower.
28:13Oh, the bit with the ****, yeah.
28:15You offered her a hot dog, sir.
28:17What?
28:17Yeah, the only thing, it wasn't a hot dog, if you know what I mean.
28:21It wasn't so bad.
28:22He put tomato sauce all over it and started waving it about everywhere.
28:26Splashed all her coat, ruined it.
28:28I told her to put her chicken in and we'd get it down and dry clean for her.
28:32Please.
28:34I'm going to get you
28:37Ready or not, here I come
28:41I'm going to get you
28:44Ready or not, here I come
28:47I'm going to get you, get you, get you
28:55Get you
28:56Ready or not, here I come
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