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00:00Oh, no, this is a nightmare. We'd never have bought them if I knew you wouldn't be able to get
00:03them off.
00:04They're such a tight fit.
00:05Oh, for God's sake.
00:06Oh, it's probably because I've got high blood pressure, blood pressure, and my feet are puffy.
00:11Don't say you're going to be trapped in these boots.
00:13No.
00:15I literally, we're going to have to get a strong man from this.
00:18Oh, no, they're coming, they're coming. That's fantastic, Mary.
00:21Do you think I should have got size 11?
00:26Ah!
00:28Her flabbers have been gasted.
00:30Do you want some of this?
00:32Oh, that is.
00:33Look out.
00:35Now, see?
00:36Oh, now, there's a controversial statement.
00:38The gravy.
00:41Yeah.
00:42Do you like this music?
00:43No, not particularly.
00:45So suck on that.
00:46Oh, wow.
00:48He's been a bad boy.
00:50Don't ever take me to a restaurant like that.
00:52Not a chance, you are.
00:53Oh!
00:54Yes, look at that.
00:55He's had an absolute feast.
00:58Whoa!
00:59For a banana?
01:00This is insane.
01:02Well, thank God that's over.
01:04I've got a day.
01:05Come on.
01:05It is like putting chicken in a vodka tonic, this.
01:09That's very modern, isn't it?
01:10Nothing.
01:11No one saw that coming.
01:12No.
01:12In the week, a runaway reindeer named Buddy sparked an emergency rescue operation in Formby.
01:19We enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:23BBC One was treating us to some marvellous miniatures.
01:26What are we going to be doing for you today, please?
01:29Well, I would love to have a model made of the library that I used as a child.
01:34I do take Ezra to library to story time sometimes.
01:38We haven't been for a while, to be honest.
01:40Couldn't go this morning because I had to go for my Botox top up.
01:44Sorry, Ezra.
01:45Sorry, Ezra.
01:46No sidebar for you.
01:47No lie.
01:48No heat Botox.
01:50Freddie Flintoff had us up for a game of darts on ITV.
01:54Graham, I heard that you used to be in the police.
01:56I did.
01:57As you look around, half of this Manchester audience is now.
01:59Yeah, we're gone.
02:00Don't worry, he's retired.
02:02Freddie stood on something.
02:04Like a milk crate.
02:05I'm not sure, remember?
02:06He was a cricketeer, wasn't he?
02:08So he's a...
02:09A what?
02:10A what?
02:11Cricketeer.
02:12They play cricket.
02:13Huh?
02:14Cricketeer.
02:15Not cricketeer?
02:16No.
02:16Shit, yeah.
02:18That as well.
02:19Why someone who plays football?
02:22Footballier.
02:24And Ed Sheeran was giving it his best shot on Netflix.
02:28And my song Perfect gets used for a lot of proposals, a lot of weddings.
02:33So I'm going to sing it.
02:35He's going to propose.
02:36Hopefully she says yes.
02:37To be fair, I'm glad Ben didn't get Ed Sheeran playing at our engagement situation.
02:42I don't think he'd have been able to afford it.
02:44Well, also, I'm not that big of a fan.
02:47Yeah, you'd have probably preferred JLS.
02:51Well, they wouldn't have fitted it into a hotel room.
02:55It's me, Ben and JLS.
03:06Oh, do you know, I haven't opened my advent calendar 1st of December, innit?
03:10Best friends Jenny and Lee.
03:12Oh, number one.
03:16Where is it?
03:18Why is it?
03:20Who's opened this?
03:21What?
03:23I haven't opened it.
03:26You have?
03:27I haven't.
03:29What are you?
03:30I can tell.
03:31Look at your face.
03:32I can tell when you're lying.
03:35You've already opened it, haven't you?
03:38Oh, don't be greedily.
03:40I thought I'd start it off for you.
03:43It's dug to the roof of me mouth.
03:45Good.
03:48This week, a global superstar went for a stroll around the Big Apple on Netflix.
03:54Ed Sheeran was bosking at his start and you used to bosk.
03:57So what went wrong?
03:59Why are you sat with me?
04:00I don't mind Ed Sheeran.
04:02He's inoffensive.
04:03He's vanilla.
04:04He's vanilla is what he is.
04:06He's a crowd pleaser.
04:11It's like he's doing a live gig on the streets of New York.
04:15And it's all in one take.
04:21Do you not remember there was a time when Shape of You was on the radio and you could not
04:24avoid that for about five years?
04:26It still is.
04:50Do you think if you kept listening to it, you'd like it?
04:53No.
04:54You all good?
04:55You all good?
04:56Yeah, we're good.
04:57Oh, we just finished there then.
04:57I don't really think he has to rehearse, do you really?
05:00Well, he might.
05:01It's to get the sound check.
05:03Oh, all right, roadie.
05:07Where you going?
05:08Where you going, Ed?
05:09Story continues.
05:10Hey, man, how are you?
05:11Good, how are you?
05:12Can you take me to the highline, please?
05:14Yeah.
05:14Does he know who he is?
05:15Do you know who he is?
05:16Do you know who he is?
05:17That's Ed Sheeran.
05:18This guy got in touch for...
05:19I have, like, songs that people use in their weddings.
05:22Oh, pick that one up.
05:23You're a bit of a knowing-like, are you?
05:25Yeah, who are you?
05:26Who are you?
05:26I'll tell the wife when I get home.
05:28She'll probably know who you are.
05:29And this guy's going to propose to his girlfriend.
05:31So I thought I'd go and surprise him.
05:33Oh, my God, I would die.
05:34What would you do if Nat proposed to you
05:37and Ed Sheeran showed up?
05:39I mean, I feel like Ed Sheeran showing up
05:41would be more believable than Nat proposing.
05:43I found a love for me.
05:48He's just gone straight into it.
05:49Why is he singing it now?
05:51Oh, I love this song.
05:52It makes me cry.
05:53Oh, for fuck's sake.
05:55Darling, you look perfect tonight.
05:58Oh, did you see her?
05:59She went, double T?
06:01Fuck you!
06:01Is that Sheeran?
06:02I tell you what, I would turn my mobility scooter
06:04around and follow him.
06:05He'd be doing this.
06:07To carry more than just my secrets.
06:10Is this the couple?
06:11Here's the couple.
06:11There they are.
06:12Oh, they're there, they're there, they're there.
06:14Oh, look.
06:17We are still kids and we're so old.
06:22What goosebumps, literally.
06:23I know, I am.
06:24I'd forget about the proposal.
06:25I'd be like, forget this, man.
06:27I'm here for Ed Sheeran.
06:28I'd be staring at him the whole time.
06:29Yeah.
06:30Oh, my God, you're here.
06:32You are the most amazing,
06:33beautiful girl in the world.
06:35Ed, can you shut up a minute?
06:37I can't what you're saying.
06:38I got one question.
06:39Oh!
06:40Will you marry me?
06:41Oh, what's she gonna say?
06:43Of course, she's gonna say yes.
06:44Yes!
06:45Oh, my God.
06:46Oh, that is lovely.
06:49Oh, she said yes.
06:50Well, she couldn't hardly say no, could she?
06:52Bloody hell, imagine he pulled out big guns
06:54without sharing it and he said no.
06:55She was kissing and how I was confused about
06:58She should figure it out why I'm sorry.
06:59Oh, he's going in the subway!
07:01Don't say he's patronising some more people.
07:03Yeah.
07:04Yay!
07:07What's going on?
07:08How's he gonna perform on the train?
07:10I wouldn't appreciate that.
07:11I'd already be overstimulated in that environment.
07:14And then Ed Sheeran's there with his flipping rinky-tink guitar.
07:18You guys want a song?
07:20Yeah.
07:20Would you like a song?
07:21Would you like a song?
07:22What else are you good for, Ed?
07:24What about singing a song that we've actually heard of, Ed?
07:27Like Streets of London by...
07:30Ralph McTel.
07:31Ralph McTel.
07:32Days near the sweet perfume of the mountain
07:35Grass are rolled down
07:37Do you know what?
07:38This feels a bit too orchestrated for me, this,
07:40because all these people are very glam.
07:42I just love her in the brown top.
07:44Yeah.
07:46I couldn't see mine.
07:47To castle on the hill.
07:50Drive in it, that ain't she.
07:53Get that guitar in your hand.
07:55Play me a bit, Ed Sheeran.
07:56What's it worth?
07:57What's it worth?
07:58Here, chuck my tenor.
08:02I could hear it there.
08:03No, no, I could hear that much.
08:05First note, first note.
08:10Don't look at me when you play that, please.
08:12Yeah, try not to lock eyes.
08:17I don't know if you've noticed, I like to take a hard-boiled sweet to bed.
08:22Yeah, I have.
08:23Dave and his wife, Shirley.
08:25You've got some worthers out there, haven't you?
08:27Aye.
08:29When do you buy them, then?
08:31I can't remember.
08:32I bought them in a week.
08:33Like, specifically for having a sweet to go to bed.
08:37Oh, right.
08:38Because as I say goodnight...
08:40Oh, yeah, I know.
08:41I go up there...
08:42Yeah.
08:42You say, no, I'm going to bed now.
08:46I'm off then.
08:47Yeah, I know.
08:48I think, thank fuck for that.
08:55On Monday, it was all about the little things on BBC One.
08:59Good things come in small packages.
09:02That's what Mum always used to say to me when I was growing up.
09:04I don't understand people that want to make things in miniature.
09:09You just want it big.
09:11I want everything big.
09:13They say it's the little things that mean the most.
09:15That's true.
09:16And in this series, we're taking that to heart.
09:19Oh, look at that.
09:21This is up my mum's street, this.
09:23She loves little shit like that.
09:25The craft and skill of our team of miniaturists...
09:28Miniaturists.
09:29There's all sorts ofists now, isn't there?
09:31Nudists.
09:32Yeah.
09:33Naturists.
09:34Miniaturists.
09:35Yeah, vapists.
09:36Shines through in every delicate detail.
09:39I've got stupidly fat fingers like Richmond sausages.
09:42There's no way I could do anything like that.
09:44Welcome to the marvellous miniature workshop.
09:48If I was going to have a model, then I think...
09:50Ponte Gwindi Peb would be yours, wouldn't it?
09:53What?
09:53Ponte Gwindi Peb.
09:55No, not necessarily, Cheryl.
09:58All right.
09:59Leah, welcome to the workshop.
10:00What are we going to be doing for you today, please?
10:03Well, I would love to have a model made of the library that I used as a child.
10:07Oh!
10:10Oh!
10:10Why?
10:11Our library was good.
10:12Our library...
10:13Why would you want the fucking library?
10:14Because it brings back memories.
10:17I mean, there are always beautiful buildings for a start.
10:21Not always so.
10:22No, no.
10:22Are they?
10:23I'm not sure they're always beautiful buildings, are they?
10:25No.
10:26Sturry Library certainly isn't.
10:27No, it's really not.
10:28Sturry's got a library.
10:30But there is another little bit to it.
10:33Oh, come on.
10:33Oh, there's backstories, Mary.
10:35I've got a feeling there's a backstory coming on.
10:37My favourite memory is from when I was 14 and a little bit.
10:41I met my husband there.
10:43Oh!
10:44Ah!
10:45As if she met her husband in library.
10:47I've always wanted the scenario like that.
10:48Oh, my God.
10:49We both reached for the same book.
10:52And he said something about university, and I thought he had a place at university.
10:56But when he turned round, I could see a school cap sticking out of his back pocket.
11:01He pretended to be older than he was.
11:04And unfortunately, he died just over three years ago.
11:08Oh, that's really sad.
11:10That's sad.
11:10I'm so sorry for your laugh.
11:12Sorry.
11:12Anyway.
11:14Anyway.
11:15Moving on.
11:16What do you want in this library like?
11:18Let's have a look at this one.
11:20Wow.
11:20Oh, gosh.
11:21That's impressive.
11:22Fucking hell.
11:23I bet she's going...
11:24We're not going to be able to write this, love.
11:26Hannah begins with the outer shell.
11:29MDF walls are taped together to form the Grand Edwardian Reading Room.
11:34We could do that bit.
11:36What, sellotaping bits of MDF together?
11:39Then comes the intricate parquet.
11:41Oh, look, she's doing parquet floor.
11:43Oh, God, she's going to your log, Lee.
11:45It takes five hours.
11:47Five hours to do that floor.
11:48I'm not being funny.
11:49I could probably floor a whole house in five hours.
11:51Hannah is turning her attention to the most important items in any library.
11:56Books.
11:57Toilets.
11:58The books.
12:00There.
12:02Hannah needs to make 3,000 of them.
12:043,000 books?
12:06Tiny jackets are printed in miniature on sticky paper
12:09and wrapped neatly around each block.
12:12Oh, it's making me eyes and me fingers go funny just looking.
12:16Me too.
12:17Just make little books, Tracer.
12:19And with incredible precision, glues them into position on the shelves.
12:24She's even put them in with tweezers.
12:25And they all look so unique.
12:27None of them look the same.
12:29That is amazing.
12:32Now it's time to find out if Hannah's managed to pull off a storybook ending.
12:37Oh, she's going to come and have a look at it now.
12:39Oh, yeah.
12:39For me, she better be in bits at this.
12:41I'm talking wailing, screaming, crying.
12:44Okay.
12:45Full scene.
12:463, 2, 1.
12:48Oh, my God.
12:50Wow.
12:51That's pretty cool.
12:52Oh, that's smart.
12:53Where's the roof?
12:56She hasn't finished it.
13:06Look at the detail.
13:07That looks so good.
13:09I just want to be a miniature person and go inside there.
13:11Do you know what I mean?
13:12You are a miniature person.
13:15And there's one tiny detail that's an extra special surprise for Leah.
13:20Brace yourself.
13:22The school cap.
13:23Oh.
13:25That's the old school cap.
13:28Oh, bless.
13:30That will set her off, Mary.
13:31I've got tears.
13:33I've got tears.
13:34Oh, she's welling up now.
13:37I thought about you a lot, and Neo.
13:39Thank you for letting me do this.
13:41Honestly, thanks for trusting me.
13:43It's a thank-a-thon, actually.
13:44Oh, that's lovely.
13:45I could see myself being able to do that.
13:48Yeah, you've got little cute hands.
13:50I've got penised hands.
13:52Penised hands?
13:53Penised.
13:54Penised hands?
13:56Penised.
13:56Like, I'd be good playing the piano.
13:59Penised.
14:00Penised.
14:01Not a penised.
14:02Did you start saying penis?
14:03I've got penis hands.
14:12In Wiltshire.
14:14While you were in London, I've been busy.
14:16And the extraordinary thing is that this tree that I bought has been reduced.
14:21Yeah, it's lovely, Nutt.
14:23It's a lovely one.
14:24It's a very good condition.
14:26Giles and his wife, Mary.
14:28Can't you put her over in that corner?
14:30Well, then we lose Mrs Crang's armchair, Mary,
14:35which is very nice for people to sit in that corner with the reading light.
14:39I think you put in Mrs Crang's cupboard in room four.
14:43Yeah, but it would take a day to empty the contents of Mrs Crang's cupboard.
14:46Just put it in front of the cupboard and move the table.
14:50Oh, all right.
14:51Won't that be in everyone's way and prickle people?
14:54No, because I think people would rather have the...
14:56Prickle pool.
14:58They'd rather have it than not.
15:00Yeah.
15:00On Sunday night, our favourite darts-based quiz show was back on ITV.
15:05Here we go, you and a darts.
15:11Hey, hey, hey.
15:12Oi!
15:13Two of my favourite things, Natty. Darts and trivia.
15:17Mary?
15:18You've spent so much time in London, you don't know what I'm like anymore.
15:22I...
15:23Darts and trivia.
15:25You've never been interested in darts since I met you up to 60 years ago.
15:30You'd be surprised how much have changed in the last six months, Mary.
15:33I've rewired my brain.
15:39I'm not as good as I was.
15:41You were shit, baby.
15:42No, I was not.
15:43Oldenus ladies champion, I love you now.
15:45I've hit a couple of 180s in my time. You've done one.
15:48I've done one.
15:48You've done one?
15:49You've done it in the flat.
15:50I know, I know. I couldn't believe it.
15:52You thought there was something going wrong.
15:53There's no... I think 180 for me, there's no feeling like that in life.
15:57I've never felt that way again. I'm chasing that high forever.
16:00In the programme, it was Zaire and Lee who had made it to the final.
16:04There's eight red segments on the board and a prize behind each one.
16:09Here's what they're playing for tonight.
16:10Some of the praises are crap, isn't they?
16:14I would say 95% from a shite.
16:16Yeah.
16:17Cos all the frig wants to throw the press.
16:21And one.
16:21I mean, it was stopped for a reason, wasn't it, this programme?
16:25You've got the power to DIY with over £1,000 worth of Ryobi tool.
16:30I wouldn't mind that.
16:32You wouldn't mind that.
16:33Look at that.
16:34I could do a lot of damage with that.
16:35You could do lots of damage with that.
16:38In four.
16:39What else is there?
16:40You've got to roll with it with this pair of super smashing skates.
16:44No, I wouldn't mind a pair of them.
16:47Oh, they're nice.
16:48They're a bit of you.
16:49Brother, you've got a leotard that would go perfectly with that.
16:52Yeah.
16:53And for this special prize...
16:55Oh, is it a holiday?
16:57Tell me it's not Butlins.
16:58It's Butlins.
16:58It's Butlins.
16:59It's a family break courtesy of Butlins.
17:03Butlins?
17:04Butlins!
17:06Butlins!
17:07Bad boys go to...
17:08Butlins!
17:10Keep out of the black and in the red.
17:12There's nothing in this game for...
17:14Two in a bit!
17:15Two in a bit!
17:17Huh?
17:17Take your time.
17:19Oh, yeah, I didn't get that.
17:20We're all behind you.
17:21Up your step.
17:22Come on, guys.
17:24Come on, guys.
17:25Come on, boys.
17:25This is the darting.
17:27Oh, I say it right.
17:30That's black.
17:31Oh, that's black.
17:32Straight in the black.
17:33That'll do.
17:33That's not good.
17:34He needs to be in the red.
17:36Black again.
17:37Oh, another one.
17:38What's wrong with those darts?
17:40Sayah.
17:42I'm black unlucky.
17:43I'm black again!
17:44Oh, no.
17:45Oh.
17:46Fucking hell.
17:47Is he the dance player?
17:48Okay.
17:49Come on, Lee.
17:51Come on, Lee.
17:52You've got to do better than Sayah.
17:54Come on.
17:56Black.
17:57Black.
17:58Shit.
17:59Oh, black.
18:00The red, Lee.
18:01The red.
18:03Black again.
18:04Black.
18:05Black.
18:05No!
18:06Oh, my God.
18:07Oh, no.
18:07It's not going well.
18:10Oh, my God.
18:11What?
18:11Stop it.
18:13Specsavers, please.
18:14Do you know what?
18:14He's got glasses on.
18:15Yeah, but they ain't working.
18:17I actually don't think we've ever seen this before.
18:19They've not won a single prize.
18:20They've got the gold seed.
18:21Zaya, you've got the final three darts.
18:24Come on, then.
18:24Please get something.
18:27Black again.
18:28Black.
18:32Black again!
18:35Come on, Zaya.
18:36Oh, mate.
18:37It'd actually be hard to get black this many times.
18:41Oh, yeah.
18:41And black.
18:42Oh.
18:44Oh, that snout.
18:45Oh, that's the first time I've ever seen that.
18:48I've still got to ask you a big question.
18:51Right.
18:52Do you want to race nothing?
18:54Yeah.
18:56And take on one final challenge.
18:59Score one or one or more with six darts, and you'll leave here with Bully's mystery star prize.
19:04Nah, to be honest with you, I want to go home with nothing.
19:07I don't want to race skip Brad.
19:09Well, it's a no-brainer, isn't it?
19:11What would you do, Zaya?
19:11Lee, your first to throw.
19:13Please step up to the hockey.
19:15For goodness sake.
19:16Come on, Lee.
19:17We've got to get something here, Simon.
19:19Okay.
19:20Here we go.
19:21Come on, Lee.
19:22101 or more in six darts.
19:25101 or more in six darts.
19:27That's doable.
19:28You could do that with your eyes shut.
19:29No pressure.
19:31Or lots of pressure.
19:33Seven.
19:34Seven.
19:35That's a good start-up for him.
19:36I like to get the seven out of the way early doors.
19:39Set me up nicely for a treble 20.
19:44God, five.
19:45Five!
19:47No, they're hopeless.
19:48That's 12.
19:52And 19.
19:5319.
19:54Not bad.
19:55Yeah, if you get 70, they win.
19:57Is that possible?
19:58Yeah, because they could get a triple 20 and a 10.
20:01For bullies mystery star prize.
20:03Come on, Zaya.
20:05This isn't hard as someone who played darts.
20:0920.
20:10Whoa!
20:1120.
20:11Come on, boy.
20:1420.
20:15Yeah!
20:15Oh, nice!
20:16Are we doing all right here?
20:18It's all on the last dart, so...
20:21Oh!
20:23Oh, no.
20:24Oh, he's fucked it.
20:25Oh!
20:2672.
20:2772.
20:27Well done, lad.
20:28Oh, wee!
20:30Zaya.
20:31Oh, you tried.
20:33You tried, guys.
20:34I don't think they tried hard enough.
20:38I don't!
20:42In Derby.
20:44Theodore, look.
20:45I'm sitting with Anki Roz.
20:47Can you see him?
20:49Yeah.
20:49I'm special.
20:50And there's someone else very special here.
20:53Do you want to say hi?
20:54The Siddiquis.
20:56Ho, ho, ho!
20:58Have you been good this year, little man?
21:02That's not real Santa.
21:04It's Grandad.
21:06I know you want a snake for Christmas.
21:09I know what you want for Christmas.
21:12What do you think?
21:14You want a snake.
21:18No snake!
21:20He's fallen over.
21:22I don't need...
21:23I don't...
21:24I don't want...
21:25Dad!
21:26Stop telling him!
21:29On Friday, there was a famous face doing some festive fiddling on ITV.
21:35Ooh!
21:36Sarah Davis, Christmas craft-off, Tom.
21:39Craft-off?
21:40Yes.
21:41Is Sarah Davis...
21:44Dragon Den blonde hair?
21:46Yes.
21:47Got you.
21:47Yeah, yeah, yeah.
21:48She's a massive crafty.
21:50Is she?
21:50Yes.
21:51It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
21:54Oh, I like her.
21:55I do.
21:55I can't believe she's made that much money out of cardboard.
21:58Neither can I.
21:58I'm on a mission to spread a bit of homemade festive magic.
22:02Do you know what?
22:03You can't beat a bit of homemade festive magic.
22:05You can't.
22:06Nice little glue pipe.
22:07Wow.
22:08Oh, I love a sparkly pine cone.
22:10So grab your glue guns and let's get Christmas crafting.
22:14I need to get a bad man glue gun.
22:16That's what I need.
22:17Yeah.
22:18Real bad man glue gun.
22:19Real bad man glue gun.
22:20True.
22:25Do you know what Christmas crafts equals?
22:28Christmas crap.
22:29Christmas crap, yeah.
22:30I thought, why not do a little Christmas scene in a glass?
22:34Oh, why not?
22:36That's what every glass needs at Christmas.
22:38Yes, absolutely.
22:39A what?
22:40A Christmas scene in a glass.
22:42I like fucking vodka in my glass.
22:44Yeah, I do.
22:44That's the only thing I like in my glass.
22:46Fluid.
22:46Or a nice Pinot Grigio.
22:48This is a really fun treat and super easy.
22:51I don't have a spare glass.
22:52Look how the other half live, honestly.
22:54How do you do a Christmas scene in a glass?
22:57And what is the point of a Christmas scene in a glass?
22:59Well, just to be festive.
23:01All I'm going to use, a little bit of rosemary.
23:03Okay.
23:04Got that in the garden.
23:05We do have that in the garden.
23:06Grows all year.
23:07Abundance of rosemary.
23:08Some pomegranate seeds.
23:10Pomegranate seeds?
23:11Some pomegranate seeds.
23:12Mm-hmm.
23:13Okay.
23:13We're going to freeze it ready.
23:14What?
23:15Okay.
23:16What's she doing here, man?
23:17I want to know where this is going here.
23:18In the freezer.
23:23Now, this is the low-tech tape.
23:26What tape?
23:27Low-tech.
23:28Low-tech.
23:29She's a bit Blue Petrie, isn't she?
23:32I had no idea she was into this type of stuff.
23:35It is going to hold our little miniature Christmas tree in place.
23:39A miniature Christmas tree?
23:40Yeah.
23:41That's what she's doing with the rosemary.
23:43What?
23:43Oh!
23:44That's going to be the miniature Christmas tree.
23:47And then you see that will be held just nicely in the glass.
23:52Lovely.
23:53And the best thing about that size of using rosemary is you will have your eye out when you're having
23:58a drink.
23:59I think she's showing you how to make a cannabis farm.
24:02So, I'm going to start off just with a little bit of water because it's going to be going into
24:05the freezer.
24:06Oh, yeah.
24:07What is this?
24:08It's a Christmas scene in a glass.
24:14I should end up with frozen peas and sweet corn in as well.
24:17A mix.
24:17A country mix.
24:19I wouldn't even get one glass in my freezer.
24:20I can't even get the ice cubes in, man.
24:23And then you just need to take the washi tape off.
24:25OK.
24:26Take the tape off.
24:27Let's have a look.
24:28And what you'll see is a twig.
24:31It is.
24:32That Christmas tree will have frozen perfectly into place.
24:39Lovely.
24:42Erm...
24:45Erm...
24:46Right.
24:47I don't even know what to make of it.
24:48I'm so...
24:49Like, I'm lost for words.
24:50It looks dead.
24:52I'm just adding tonic water to these.
24:55Here we go.
24:55Oh, now she's talking.
24:57Can I have coke in mine instead?
24:59She can't even see it.
25:01With rosemary.
25:03Ooh, I'll have a rosemary and coke, please.
25:06Aw.
25:07You want to love them.
25:09Aw, come on.
25:10Get something harder in there.
25:11Where's the gin?
25:14Yeah.
25:14Where's the vodka?
25:16You know what?
25:16At least you should try, didn't it?
25:18That's all that matters.
25:20Like, at least you tried.
25:21Let's go.
25:28In Leeds...
25:30I'm going to a Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow.
25:33Yes, I'd heard about this.
25:34Yeah, so I'm going to an actual American's house for an actual Thanksgiving dinner.
25:41Lucky you.
25:41Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
25:44Do you know what, as well?
25:45Like, I feel really grown up and mature to be invited to a Thanksgiving dinner party.
25:50I know.
25:50I've been invited to a dinner party.
25:54Tell me you're old without telling me that you're old.
25:56Me and Nat are going to a dinner party.
25:59We've actually never been to a dinner party.
26:02That's because none of your friends are sophisticated or host dinner parties.
26:05You've just made friends with Neil and Hannah and they so happen to be normal human beings.
26:13On Monday, fallout from the budget was still bubbling along on BBC News.
26:19I'm guessing it will be the trouble they're in because they didn't tell the Cabinet they
26:23had a budget surplus notified by the OBR when they were saying they had a £20 billion black hole.
26:30Have you had your advent calendar this morning?
26:33No, I haven't.
26:34I've had a coffee, wouldn't I?
26:35Pinch, punch, first of the month, no returns.
26:38Good afternoon.
26:39Welcome to the BBC News at One, our main story.
26:42The Prime Minister has insisted...
26:44Oh, he looks a bit alarmed there, Yorker.
26:46He looks bewildered, doesn't he?
26:48Yeah.
26:48..that his Chancellor, Rachel Reeves, did not mislead the public before last week's budget.
26:53That's not what I've heard.
26:55Have you been following this?
26:56Yes, yes, she exaggerated the so-called fiscal black hole.
27:01Cabinet members have reportedly accused him and Ms Reeves of misleading ministers.
27:06Yep, I'd have to agree with that.
27:08Didn't mislead them, they just kept some information back,
27:11which helped with what she was doing.
27:14Rachel Reeves has defended her position,
27:17saying full details contained in her budgets are never provided in advance.
27:21Pretty big detail to not release, though.
27:23You know, she doesn't release all the details, just the ones that she wants you to hear.
27:27We now know that on October 31st, the Office for Budget Responsibility told Rachel Reeves
27:32that she still had a surplus of £4.2 billion.
27:36What?
27:37So the economy's doing better than we all thought?
27:40She was telling everybody we were £20 or £30 billion down and she was £4.2 billion up.
27:45Yeah?
27:45This is like what happened with Nana's energy bills.
27:48Yeah.
27:50Giving a speech in London, the Prime Minister said there had been no misleading.
27:54Well, of course he would say that.
27:56We had on the one hand £16 billion less than we might otherwise have had.
27:59We had clear commitments that we'd made throughout the process
28:02as to what it was we were going to achieve.
28:05Oh, God, it's so boring.
28:07Yeah, I've checked out now.
28:08Oh!
28:09It was inevitable that we would always have to raise revenue.
28:12What is that noise, that horn noise?
28:15It was a moment of personal pride.
28:16It's not air raid, is it?
28:18The Tories have asked the financial regulator to investigate Rachel Reeves.
28:22What? I mean, what's going to happen?
28:24They're going to do an investigation.
28:25It's going to take nine years.
28:27They're going to be out of power.
28:28No-one's going to care.
28:29A CEO who did what Rachel Reeves did would have had to resign.
28:33You tell him, Kemi.
28:35And she should be held to the same high standards.
28:37She's the Chancellor of the Exchequer.
28:38She's not a PR lady.
28:40Kemi's just happy to get her neb on telly.
28:43Oh, God, yeah.
28:44Just to stay relevant.
28:44I mean, fair play to her, she didn't pull a Quasi Quartang.
28:48Yeah.
28:49Yeah.
28:49You know, she has got that on her side.
28:52Yeah.
28:53Nobody's beat Quasi Quartang yet.
28:58In Yorkshire...
28:59What makes someone beautiful and what makes someone pretty?
29:02It's just an interesting concept.
29:03Sarah and her daughter-in-law, Lara.
29:06Well, my sister was beautiful.
29:09And I was just pretty.
29:10OK?
29:12So, what am I?
29:14You're...
29:15Yikes.
29:16Why did I ask that?
29:17Why did I ask that?
29:18You are pretty, I suppose.
29:21Attractive, beautiful.
29:22I don't know what you are, darling, what you think you are.
29:24Oh, you mustn't show.
29:26On Saturday night, Alan Carr took us back in time on ITV.
29:32I feel like I get really stuck in the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s.
29:36I don't know the difference between them all.
29:38What was going on in the 80s?
29:40Well, with me?
29:41Well, I was fully out then, wasn't I?
29:43So, it was all fun.
29:44Well, actually, it wasn't at all.
29:45I don't want to know what was going on in the 80s with you, then.
29:48No.
29:52He does a young Alan Carr so well, that boy.
29:57Never mind changing ends.
29:59You can't change bloody channels for Alan Carr.
30:04Nothing united the UK more than a telephone.
30:07What's a telephone?
30:08We've got telephones now.
30:10Oh, that's a telephone.
30:11Everyone used to sit in baths of baked beans, didn't they?
30:14What the fuck?
30:17Even celebrities came down from their ivory towers
30:19to show us they were just like us.
30:22Oh, they need to bring out back things like this.
30:24This is proper telly.
30:26Not like the shite we have to watch now.
30:29Oh, and you ain't got a few tins of beans
30:31if you were in a right state.
30:33She's the annoying neighbour over at Road, isn't she?
30:36She's the snobbing neighbour who's always looking down her nose
30:39at Alan's mum.
30:40If your cupboards are bare,
30:41you can always send the boys to me for a feed.
30:45So I ate his hair, cut that one, innit?
30:47Yeah, I had that hair, don't you remember?
30:49Yeah, but yours looked like an explosion in the mattress factory.
30:51I ate real good here.
30:52We're just doing a bath of beans for charity.
30:54Well, we're trying.
30:54We're about 20 tins short.
30:55That's why we're here.
30:57Charlie's doing a camp out Saturday.
30:58Yeah, it was a bit mad, wasn't it, back in the day?
31:01It was constantly something.
31:02You was getting sponsored for something all the time.
31:05He's having a camp out.
31:07Load of mates coming round.
31:08What about Alan?
31:09Ask Alan to go.
31:11Oh, which mate?
31:11Michael Godgin.
31:13Bradley.
31:14Who else?
31:15Jake.
31:16Oh, Jake.
31:17Oh, Jake.
31:17He likes Jake, doesn't he, Alan?
31:18Oh, he likes Jake, yeah.
31:20He'll be there, Alan, wouldn't he?
31:21Maybe Alan could camp out instead of the beans.
31:24Oh, well, that's very...
31:25You'd like that?
31:26Look at his little face.
31:28He's lit up there, didn't he?
31:29Oh, yes, please.
31:30I'll camp out with those boys.
31:32Oh, no.
31:33Not with Charlie.
31:34He's done enough for charity already.
31:36No.
31:37Oh, he doesn't want Alan to come.
31:38Oh, no.
31:40After setting up camp with his friend, Kay, Alan was keen to see what Jake and the lads
31:45were up to in the other garden.
31:49Get yourself in the tent there.
31:51Go on, Alan.
31:53Get in.
31:54Oh, oh, oh, my God.
31:57He's in with all the boys now.
31:59Hi.
31:59Hi.
32:00Hello.
32:02That's what you're like when you fancy someone.
32:05Oh, no, that's why I'm single for Jake.
32:07Good timing.
32:07Oh, there's Jake.
32:09Oh, yeah.
32:09He's very happy.
32:11Let's do something else, eh?
32:12Hello.
32:13Georgie's turn.
32:13No, this is a dangerous game, man.
32:15Oh, my God.
32:16Never have I ever done fourth base.
32:21What is fourth base?
32:23What a base.
32:23One, two, three.
32:26Not round the back.
32:27I don't think it's round the back.
32:29Barely even 15.
32:31I'm sure Alan can help you, Georgie.
32:33Don't worry, Al.
32:34It's just a game, isn't it?
32:35Oh, poor Alan.
32:37This is a horrible situation to be in.
32:39I'm bored of this now.
32:40Come on.
32:41God, Jake's sticking up for Alan, yeah?
32:43Never change, Alan.
32:44Hello, happy campers.
32:46Oh, did you see that look?
32:48He told him never change.
32:49Mm-hmm.
32:51Alan, you've left poor Kay on her own.
32:53Out.
32:54Kay, you grass.
32:56Absolute party pooper.
32:57Give me that.
32:58Right.
32:58All of you, out.
33:00Now.
33:00Come on.
33:01Oh, they've been caught.
33:03Bottle of whiskey snatched.
33:05Oh, come on.
33:06Georgie.
33:07Oh!
33:09Alan giving Jake the eye.
33:11Sorry.
33:11I can't believe this.
33:12You have no idea what's going on in your back garden.
33:15You've got kids in it.
33:16Oh!
33:18Oh!
33:19Oh!
33:20Oh, my God.
33:21Alan.
33:22Go anyway.
33:23No.
33:24Thank you very much.
33:26Oh!
33:29Jake and Georgie are snogging!
33:35It's tough, Alan.
33:37Who does that on the drive, though?
33:38Yeah, why are two kids necking on?
33:41I really felt that I had a chance.
33:44She just wasn't the one, darling.
33:45Oh!
33:47Mum just got the wrong idea.
33:49I wasn't talking about Georgie.
33:51Yeah.
33:52We know.
33:52We know, Alan.
33:53I know.
33:55Oh!
33:56Oh!
33:56Oh, what a good friend.
33:58I mean, these days, you'd be pleased to have a gay son, wouldn't you?
34:01Oh, God, yeah.
34:01I'm hoping.
34:02Do I tell you what I used to like one time?
34:05With Debbie Hardy.
34:07Was it?
34:08Aye, but that's not somebody in school, is it?
34:11I can't think of anybody in school.
34:12I used to fancy the window cleaner in school.
34:16Oh, the window cleaner?
34:18Mm.
34:20Yeah.
34:20I did end up going out with him.
34:22Oh.
34:31In Blackpool...
34:32Tell you what, the kids are getting all excited for Christmas, aren't they?
34:35Yeah.
34:35Pete and his little sister, Sophie.
34:38When they were round here the other day, Jimmy was saying,
34:42we've got a Christmas tree.
34:44I said, ah.
34:44Me and Uncle Ben have put ours up in the other lounge.
34:49Begging me to see it, like, obviously.
34:51I said, yeah, come on then, let's go.
34:53And I've put, I've had made two little stockings, one for Ben, one for me,
35:00hung on the fire, lovely touch, match all the colour scheme.
35:04Jimmy takes one look at him and goes, why have you got two big stinking socks?
35:11I was like, they're not stinking socks, Jimmy!
35:16This week, we were all on the edge of our seats
35:18as we waited to find out who was to blame for what on Skye.
35:23Oh, you know what this says, Lev?
35:25What?
35:25Don't blame her, no?
35:27Don't blame her?
35:28It's not that, it's all her fault.
35:30Oh, I thought it was...
35:32I thought it was don't blame her.
35:37So what's happened? What have I missed?
35:39So, at the start, a child gets kidnapped by a nanny, not his own nanny.
35:44Another nanny who's got a special interest in him.
35:46She was called Carrie, as it happens, now called Josephine.
35:50The child's now been reunited with his family.
35:53However, we don't know why.
35:55We don't know why it's all happened.
35:58In the programme, they had a flashback to show us how it all started.
36:06Oh, Olivia, Josie had a baby six years ago.
36:09If Josie had a baby, why did she need to steal someone else's?
36:15Oh, look how happy she is, Lee. She's taking him home.
36:21Don't move around!
36:22Oh, you fuggers!
36:23Oh, fucking hell!
36:25Oh, bloody hell!
36:28Shit!
36:29Oh, now who is in that car?
36:31Is that the mum and the dad of, um, Milo?
36:35No.
36:36No.
36:37No.
36:38No, I heard him.
36:39Oh, no.
36:41Josie's in hospital.
36:43Yeah, but what's happening to the baby?
36:45He was crying.
36:46I'm sorry.
36:47He didn't survive the crash.
36:48Oh, no!
36:50What's she saying?
36:50She heard the baby crying?
36:52Yeah, she said she heard him.
36:53I think that you're confused.
36:54That must have been the other baby.
36:56What?
36:57The other baby.
36:58What other baby?
37:00In the other car.
37:05Are we still six years ago or are we real now?
37:09Real now.
37:10Does the name Josephine Murphy mean anything to you?
37:13Uh-oh!
37:14Josie, what are you doing with the gun?
37:15What are you doing?
37:16Mr Irvine, please.
37:19He's my son.
37:20What do you mean he's your son?
37:22Her son died in the car accident.
37:25My name is Josephine Murphy.
37:28What?
37:29No.
37:29They recognise the name.
37:31No, you, you, you died.
37:34I didn't.
37:35What?
37:35She died.
37:36They said she died.
37:37Why did they think she died then?
37:40I didn't come here to try to get him back.
37:42Well, what have you come here for then?
37:43I came here because I need you to promise me.
37:46What?
37:46Mother to mother.
37:48That you'll protect Milo.
37:49I am so confused.
37:51I thought she's the baddie.
37:52She didn't sound like a baddie.
37:53No.
37:54From, from what?
37:55From him.
37:56Him.
37:57Oh, why?
37:58What's he doing?
37:59You don't know what he's capable of.
38:01Oh my God, look, look at his face.
38:03He's like, no, please don't, please don't expose me.
38:06What are you hiding?
38:07I know you won't believe me if I tell you,
38:09which is why you have to hear it for yourself.
38:11Shut up!
38:11She's got evidence!
38:13Oh my God!
38:14No!
38:14Oh my God!
38:15Oh my God!
38:16Oh my God!
38:17Oh!
38:17No!
38:19He's shot her.
38:20He did not deliberate either.
38:22OK.
38:25He done some at Lee Annie.
38:27She had the evidence there.
38:29Yeah.
38:29Peter, whose, whose baby died in that accident?
38:34Their baby died and he took...
38:37Hers.
38:38...Josie's baby.
38:40Yeah.
38:42He was scared and he was cold but I couldn't, I couldn't just leave him there.
38:45No, no, no, no, no, no.
38:47So Marlowe is, is Josie's baby.
38:49Poor old Josie has been in the right all along.
38:52You stole her child!
38:54No, I did, I did what I thought was right.
38:57I stole a child, mate.
38:58No matter which way you look at it or cut it down, you still stole somebody's child.
39:03All this time I thought the kidnapping was my fault and you let me think it was my fault but
39:07it was not my fault, it was yours!
39:08Yeah, he did, didn't he?
39:10Change the title, it's all his fault, it's not all her fault.
39:13We knew it'd never be her fault, it's always got to be a man's fault.
39:17A bit later, it looked like Marissa had forgiven her husband, Peter.
39:27Why's she being nice to him?
39:29Oh, I couldn't kiss him.
39:31Knowing what she knows, I couldn't.
39:33What's that for?
39:36Uh, I've missed you.
39:38What were that for?
39:39Nat says that when I snog in.
39:41Thinks that I'm up to Summit.
39:42Yeah, I've missed you too.
39:44Mmm.
39:45Peter, never trust the redhead, mate.
39:49Your own thin ice there.
39:55What's she coughing for?
39:56What's he doing?
39:56Oh, what's wrong?
39:57That's how Mal reacts when I kiss her.
39:59Oh, shit.
40:01What?
40:02I didn't check all the allergens.
40:03Oh, she's had something on her lips.
40:05Yeah, she's kissed him.
40:07A deadly kiss, Simon.
40:08I could have had to away my accident.
40:10Fuck, I'm so sorry.
40:11No, I gotta...
40:11Have you got your EpiPen, Andy, love?
40:13I hope not.
40:17It's like an immediate reaction.
40:20What the fuck?
40:23It's expired.
40:24What?
40:25Oh, shit, it's not working.
40:27It's expired!
40:27Yes!
40:28Yes!
40:29You always have the emergency kit.
40:34He knows.
40:34He's worked out.
40:35That's true.
40:36I manage your allergy for you.
40:38Oh!
40:40Right between the lines, I managed your allergy for you.
40:43Amira, remember when you had to use an EpiPen because you had some Parmesan?
40:48Some Parmesan?
40:49Some Parmesan?
40:49Don't make it sound so minuscule.
40:52Like, it...
40:52I mean, it had to be rushed into hospital.
40:55And that was the funniest day ever.
40:57Do you remember when...
40:58Do you remember, though, when you were like...
41:00When we called the ambulance and they were like, are you gonna...
41:03Who's gonna come with her?
41:04And none of you wanted to volunteer.
41:06You were like, I'll go work the next day.
41:08I don't know how long we're gonna be there.
41:10You don't know what could've happened to me.
41:12My lips are huge.
41:13They look like Kylie Jenner's lips, bro.
41:18In Glasgow...
41:19We're at Christmas parties.
41:20The worst part about them is like, yeah, it's that not knowing where the line is.
41:23There's a clear line, mate.
41:24Don't cross it.
41:25Best mates Jake and Callum.
41:27I don't really drink that much.
41:28It doesn't, like...
41:29I never really get to that place.
41:31Never do not.
41:31But I've been to some wild Christmas parties where you're just like,
41:34Anne from Accounts does not do that on a Monday morning.
41:37It's almost like a superhero, right?
41:38They come out, they show you there's true powers and on the Monday you're like, alright?
41:42Yeah, back to...
41:43Back to normal.
41:44Back to your spreadsheets.
41:45That's magical.
41:46It's nice.
41:47You know what I mean?
41:47So we glimmer into someone's action.
41:49It's a glimmer in and you go, I know I like you but we don't need to talk about it.
41:52Yeah.
41:53This week Strictly had something new in store for us on BBC One.
41:57You ready for Strictly?
41:59Ha ha!
42:00Three.
42:00Oh, you ready?
42:00Oh, good catch.
42:02Nice.
42:03You ready for life?
42:03Shall we watch Strictly and at least there'll be some athletic gaiety?
42:12da da da, da da da, da da da, da da da da da da.
42:16Where's your bottom gone?
42:17Over there you went!
42:18I've brought it!
42:20Look it's on the way to it!
42:23Ha ha!
42:26Why has it come off?
42:27Because it's cheap plastic, that's why it's come off!
42:30Hey, so don't like Gloria. No, you look like that Derrick that recruited your ice flies
42:37And back to business
42:40Yeah, how big Tessie's air this week that blow-dried mbj and mcdonald
42:46Our couples have another chance to improve their position on the leaderboard when they take on
42:52Instant dance instant dance. This is new. What do you mean?
42:57It's like dance now. Yeah, that's exactly it all our couples will be asked to improvise a dance on the
43:03spot
43:04Oh my god improv. This is
43:12They're starting to change it Mary think the expression is change it up. No. Oh after being assigned their dances
43:20and picking their own costumes
43:26It's chaos this what the frink's going on. It's a bit like it's a knockout not here
43:31Yeah, the dancers have just ten seconds to confer before taking to the dance floor
43:41Oh
43:41She's talking through it. Yeah, right you do that
43:46You go over there
43:53Just yeah, just strip that'll confuse them
44:01I mean they're just floating around the room at this stage
44:04He doesn't need to do anything
44:06He's just like as long as he does this bad if I just stay there she'll leave me
44:10This is what it sounds like
44:12When the girls cry
44:15Oh!
44:16To the left!
44:20Oh God he's a strong on the floor!
44:23Honestly I could have done that. They did a couple of forward steps, a couple of backward steps, side steps
44:29and then, I mean, hoider on the floor
44:31We're our final couple
44:33Amber and Nikita making onto the floor
44:36I love how Nikita's come dressed as a car wash
44:39One, four, three, two, one
44:43Shit!
44:45What the fuck about? Shit!
44:47You start anything like that and you'll be fine innit?
44:49That's how I start doing my taxis
44:54I would need a good bit of warning if someone were going to toss me in the air like that
44:59with my legs open
45:00Because it wouldn't end well for them
45:03Oh them ruffles are made for shimmying aren't they?
45:06When in doubt you shimmy innit?
45:08When in doubt you shimmy
45:09Oh yeah
45:17That's the Shakira dance
45:21Yeah
45:22A little, a little way
45:26A little, a little way
45:26A little, a little way
45:26A little, a little way
45:27And you shimmy
45:29I'm at your feet
45:31Forever! Forever! Forever!
45:34Forever! Forever!
45:34Do it to be together!
45:35They are nailing this!
45:38And I've got a bit of Shakira going through them
45:40Forever! Forever!
45:42Forever!
45:42Forever! Forever!
45:44Forever! Forever!
45:44Oh God!
45:45The thing is if all else fails just fling your crotch in someone's face
45:47Listen it works clearly
45:49If you really feel the way I feel
45:51Do you want like a whipping top?
45:54Oh yes!
45:55Very slick!
46:00Oh! Oh!
46:01I think he just took a full to the volley
46:04We'll play that game at Christmas
46:06That'll be fun
46:07Instant dance
46:08Give that a whirl
46:09I've got to tell you I've not been that interested in Strictly since Anne Whittacombe was used as a mop
46:14to clean the Strictly floor
46:15Yeah
46:15But this has definitely rekindled my interest in it
46:19He's done
46:20He's done
46:21He's done
46:22He's done
46:23And next Friday night Channel 4 is standing up to cancer live
46:27Catch all the fun and complete frolics from 7.30 including a stand up to cancer goggle box special
46:33A tense family dispute makes for a complex case
46:36True crime on Channel 4 with 24 hours in police custody
46:40New this Monday at 9
46:41Up next given the past week of Reggie
46:44It's The Last Leg
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