00:00I got a good one for you today.
00:01Talk to me, big boy.
00:02I want to teach you about one of my favorite figures in history, Ulysses S. Grant.
00:07That's the name of a dude that pounds chicks.
00:12Oh.
00:13And beers.
00:14Well, certainly beers.
00:15I heard about the beers.
00:16He was born in a small town in Ohio, had all kinds of different jobs, ran a tannery, all kinds
00:21of bullshit.
00:22What the fuck's a tannery?
00:23A leather working place.
00:25It's not a tanning salon?
00:26No, they didn't have those back then.
00:28They could have.
00:29No, they didn't.
00:30It's called the sun.
00:31Yeah, fine.
00:32It's called sitting on a bed outside.
00:34Just shut up.
00:38Shut your mouth.
00:39Grant grows up.
00:40He goes to the Naval Academy.
00:43Yep.
00:43The one thing he was unbelievable at was horseback rides.
00:47Really?
00:47He was equestrian?
00:48Famously, he would ride horses down the middle of the dining hall.
00:53He'd bring a horse inside?
00:54He had a better command of a horse than anyone else at the whole school.
00:57He brought a horse into the dining hall.
00:59Yeah, well, they let him.
01:00They sort of set it up.
01:01Sounds like a myth.
01:02No, I think that actually did happen.
01:03They're not just letting a horse inside because it's going to shit everywhere and make the whole place unsanitary.
01:09I wish I hadn't told you about the horse.
01:11I thought that was a fun fact.
01:12You're not going to move past it.
01:13Well, think about it.
01:14You're fucking sitting there eating your mac and cheese and a fucking horse runs by and shits.
01:18I choose not to think about it.
01:20At the Naval Academy especially.
01:22I choose to move on and you should too.
01:24All right.
01:24He enrolls in the army and at this point we were fighting the Mexicans in I think the Spanish-American
01:30War.
01:31I thought those were our boys.
01:32No, not yet.
01:33Okay.
01:34He leads a pretty successful group or he's part of a successful group that leads a large and long incursion
01:42into Mexico.
01:43Was Mexico Mexico at this point?
01:45Yeah.
01:45It was called Mexico?
01:47I think so.
01:47Conquistadors.
01:48This is where sort of the rumors of his drinking began.
01:52His problem is that he would like black out.
01:55Yeah.
01:56Very easily.
01:57Mm-hmm.
01:57Like if he had one beer he was going lights out.
02:01Sounds like a guy I would like to be hanging out with.
02:04And people described that when he drank this much he would become like an infant and kind of just speak
02:12in a nonsensical way.
02:13Like, blah, blah, blah, blah.
02:14My buddy was like that.
02:16He didn't seem to suffer that much from hangovers.
02:17He didn't get a hangover.
02:19As far as I know.
02:19Well, those are the dangerous guys.
02:21Yeah.
02:21Every group of friends has that guy that will fucking drink their dick and balls off the next morning and
02:27they're ready to go again.
02:28Yeah.
02:28Not me.
02:29Grant.
02:30It's the only reason I'm not an alcoholic, for the record.
02:32Mm-hmm.
02:33It's because if I didn't get hungover, I'd just be drunk 24-7.
02:36Right.
02:37Is that bad to say?
02:38Yep.
02:39Well, I don't know.
02:41Because being drunk is better than not being drunk.
02:45You can choose whatever it is you want to do in your life.
02:50Grant moved back home, failed at everything he did.
02:54Okay.
02:54Ultimately, he was, like, selling firewood, I think, in his small town by the bushel.
02:59Really?
02:59And married a woman named Julia Dent.
03:02Her father disapproved.
03:04They were ardent secessionists.
03:07What was ardent?
03:08Strong.
03:09Like, firm believers.
03:11Right?
03:11Just say firm.
03:19Next time.
03:19Shut up.
03:22Shut your mouth.
03:24Or don't say staunch, either.
03:26Okay.
03:26Sounds like stench.
03:28Anytime you say staunch, I think of a smelly.
03:31The call comes to raise a Union army.
03:34Mm-hmm.
03:35To stop the Confederate rebellion.
03:39Correct.
03:40Ulysses comes out of his military retirement.
03:42As the war progresses, he starts getting elevated, ultimately becomes a general.
03:47And he's in the Western theater of the war.
03:50The army of the...
03:53Kentucky?
03:54Mm-hmm.
03:54What the fuck?
03:55No, don't agree.
03:56I don't know.
03:57One of the big concerns was that the new states that were being added to the country would be,
04:02whether they would be pro-slavery or anti-slavery, right?
04:05He was fighting in, coming in from the West, and then going down into the South.
04:12And he was a man of action.
04:14I can't believe you have orange arm hair.
04:15I can't believe that you can't see your penis.
04:18Dude, come on, man.
04:20I wasn't making fun of you.
04:22I'm just saying, I'd never...
04:33Like, true, honest question.
04:35When you piss, are you just like, where is that stream coming from?
04:41I was just putting it down...
04:44You're just groping blindly down there?
04:52I've never noticed that before.
04:55What did you expect?
04:57White.
05:03Grant is moving up, right?
05:05And he secures a massive victory at Vicksburg.
05:10That was his big, big win.
05:12That dealt a huge blow to the Confederate Army.
05:16And then I think Lincoln makes him lieutenant general of, like, the whole commanding general of the entire Union Army.
05:24This guy's a dog.
05:25Smoked 20 cigars a day.
05:28Really?
05:28Unbelievably humble guy.
05:30You know, even when he was commanding general of the entire Army, he would still sleep on a simple cot
05:37in a tent.
05:38I love that.
05:39Had no problem sleeping outside with the men.
05:41Yep.
05:42With his head resting up against a tree.
05:43With the boys.
05:44Thanks in huge part to Grant, the Northern, the Union wins the war, right?
05:51We reincorporate the Southern states.
05:53Pretty quickly, at the next election, Grant wins in a landslide.
05:57I mean, it's true.
05:57He's the most popular and most famous person in the country.
06:00He was a president?
06:02Yeah.
06:02I did not know.
06:03I swear to God, I'm not having one of those moments.
06:05I thought he was just like a sick general.
06:07He was just so famous and so beloved in the country, and certainly in the North, for being the hero
06:16of the war.
06:17That's so sick.
06:18After his second term, the Democrats, no.
06:21Was it the Democrats?
06:24No.
06:25I don't think it was the Democrats.
06:27His party convinced him to run for a third term.
06:31They didn't really have a better guy.
06:33He actually runs for that third term, but through some weird shit with the Electoral College.
06:42It's like he won the first round of votes, but you have to have a certain number of votes.
06:46He doesn't get it.
06:47Second round, and then ultimately, he does not get named to the president.
06:53Probably the greatest American military figure other than Washington, ever.
06:59Sick name, too.
07:00Good president.
07:01Sick name.
07:02A guy that you would like to learn about because he drank himself silly and smoked hundreds of cigars.
07:08Sick name.
07:09Quiet, humble, great leader.
07:10Sick name.
07:11That's Ulysses S. Grant.
07:13Sick name?
07:14Sure.
07:15All right.
07:16Thanks, Francis.
