00:00I know you're a big Greek mythology guy.
00:05Icarus.
00:06Nah.
00:07Well, maybe.
00:09Hmm?
00:10Blue cuckoo close to the sun.
00:11Yeah, he did.
00:12Too close to the cuckoo nest.
00:14Yeah.
00:15I'm talking more about, like, the wars and stuff.
00:18Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:19Trojan War?
00:20Yep.
00:21You know it?
00:21Yep, the horse.
00:23They fuckin' put all their shit in there and stormed the capital.
00:27This is a legendary, maybe the most legendary war of Greek mythology.
00:31Those guys fire me up.
00:33Yeah.
00:33The Trojans.
00:34It's pretty cool.
00:35300, right?
00:35That's the Spartans.
00:37Trojans.
00:38Well, you're saying that, like, you know, but you were wrong.
00:41The Trojans, the Etruscans, and the Spartans are all mixed together in one big...
00:47I'm impressed that you know the Etruscans.
00:48One big boiling pot.
00:50Well, let's talk about it.
00:52The Trojan War, specifically, there was the Greek alliance, which included the Spartans
00:58and the Greeks against Troy.
01:00Yep.
01:01Why were they fighting against Troy?
01:02Why were they mad at Troy?
01:03Something to do with the sea?
01:06Mmm.
01:06And there's rights to the sea or something?
01:09No.
01:10I don't know.
01:10It's a little more romantic than that.
01:12Oh, like, uh, Romeo and Juliet or some shit?
01:16Well, there's a woman involved.
01:17Caesar.
01:18Do you know the woman?
01:19I will know it when you say it.
01:21Helen.
01:22Helen of Troy!
01:23Right.
01:24She had big tits, right?
01:25I don't know.
01:26I think she did.
01:27Well...
01:28I'm pretty sure she had big jugs.
01:29Now, you couldn't even think of her, but...
01:31Oh, now I know.
01:32Now I know exactly what I think about her.
01:35I'm pretty sure she was packing meat.
01:37This is, by the way, 12th, 13th century BC, I think.
01:42Christ hasn't risen yet.
01:43No.
01:44Not even close.
01:45No.
01:45No.
01:46Paris of Troy.
01:47Nope.
01:48That's not what I'm going for.
01:49Just being demonstrative.
01:52Paris of Troy, okay?
01:55Yeah.
01:55He takes Helen from King Menelaus.
01:59Okay.
01:59Scholars debate whether or not he took Helen, like, with her permission and they were in love.
02:08Or forcefully or not.
02:09Or just, like, abducted her.
02:10Come to my yacht or whatever and let's get out of here.
02:12It's entirely possible he just, like, said, you're my prisoner now.
02:16Yeah.
02:17You're coming with me.
02:18I feel like there was a lot of pillaging back then.
02:20Brought her back to Troy.
02:21The Greeks arranged this huge, massive naval fleet.
02:25They sail to Troy and they start to lay siege against the walled city of Troy.
02:29Yeah.
02:29Famously, Troy is almost impenetrable thanks to its gigantic walls.
02:37Yes.
02:37Walls.
02:38Get up in those walls, boys.
02:39You ever say that to your boys?
02:40No.
02:41Got up in those walls.
02:43With your dick.
02:44Is that a sexual reference?
02:45Yeah.
02:45Okay.
02:46I don't, I've never experienced it, but I've had boys.
02:49I've been like, yeah, I got up in those walls.
02:51You've heard someone say, I was splashing in them guts?
02:55No, dude.
02:56Gross.
02:57What the fuck?
02:58That's over the line?
02:59Ew.
03:01Splashing in them guts?
03:02Yeah.
03:03Ew.
03:04That's coming inside of them.
03:06Yeah, I understand.
03:07How are you talking about?
03:08How is it any different from getting up in those walls?
03:12Getting up in those walls and they're not splashing, you're just getting them in the
03:15walls.
03:15Splashing in the guts?
03:18Ew, dude.
03:19Alright.
03:20Have some fucking couth.
03:22Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
03:26ha.
03:26Alright.
03:27Touche.
03:28Touche.
03:28You put me in my place.
03:29Speaking of Paris, touche.
03:30The Greeks can't break through.
03:33They can't.
03:34Okay.
03:34no matter what they are repelled that's when they come up with the idea of building the trojan horse
03:42famous pack that bitch up to the gills yeah with the with the homies it was presented as a gift
03:46the greeks had a big i can teach this part it's a big ass gift in the size of or
03:53the shape of a
03:53horse a big horse yeah and they packed it with soldiers went right through the gates yeah
03:59fucking chopped that shit down and the boys came out like a bunch of like eggs like a pinata yeah
04:05yeah yeah like a giant horse pinata at a quinceanera that's so sick and they came out and then they
04:11sacked the city of troy they didn't have any inkling whatsoever they were just like here's this big
04:15fucking horse come on in boys that's right that's that's how the story goes now there's an important
04:22thing to note about the trojan horse do you know who came up with that plan the gods no greek
04:29gods odysseus yeah well he's not a god he's a philanthrop philosopher no king hero famous from
04:40the odyssey yeah homer iliad the iliad you is the book that oh he's a odysseus is a book
04:48the odyssey is a book oh okay it's an epic poem yeah i knew that which part i knew that
04:54the odyssey
04:54is a book it's a yeah poem whatever the fuck i don't care yeah i didn't know odysseus was a
05:01person that came from a book odysseus is the hero of odyssey okay yeah i follow do you know that
05:08no
05:09now i do that's new yeah that's new and i knew of the odyssey and iliad i didn't know there
05:15was
05:15some dude that's a fucking pipe of a name that guy's got a rope odyssey that guy's got a wrench
05:20yeah yeah odysseus yeah what's up boys this is my guy odysseus he's gonna fuck everyone yeah odie
05:26yeah odie yeah he's gonna bang but he's the hero of the odyssey okay the odyssey is the story of
05:31him
05:32returning home to penelope yep the war takes nine years the trojan wars nine year war the iliad is
05:39the story of the war and the iliad has lots of famous heroes in it like ilia achilles there was
05:47a
05:47guy from my high school name ilia he was nuts the only part of him that was not that was
05:52that was
05:53mortal or vulnerable was his achilles heel from which we get i will be tearing my achilles in the
05:59next five years i had a feeling absolutely certainly won't be doing anything active though no no you're
06:04gonna be sitting watching fucking cake boss and then one day you're like ah ah also you know
06:15diane krueger yeah vaguely helen of troy you want to talk about rockets oh okay if you don't have
06:22viagra on you oh toss that on the tube odysseus bill they come up with the plan to build the
06:28trojan
06:29horse yep and then he's one of the guys inside the belly oh shit brought it in through the walls
06:36and then at night after a night of huge partying the trojans got super fucked up oh yes they thought
06:42the war was though let's go boys we did it yeah the gods are always getting jealous of each other
06:46of course jealous of the people and then putting curses on them all that bad stuff that's like saying
06:50like hey just leave out the part of uh my senior year basketball where i scored 34 points
06:57you know change the story it's all there's all different types of stories
07:03how is it like that it couldn't be that you just all right all right thank you
07:11you
07:13you
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