- 5 weeks ago
Seth and Sean react to and assess the clip from the Simpsons that best boils down how the Texans' season ended and circle back to the speculation that teams are going to come in with trade offers for CJ Stroud.
Category
🥇
SportsTranscript
00:00Let's have some fun with the end of the season for various NFL teams.
00:03I've not heard any of these yet, so I'm very excited for this.
00:07There's an account, NFL Simpsons, which had actually a Simpsons clip
00:12to describe each of the 32 NFL seasons.
00:15We're not going to do all of them, but I thought there was some really.
00:21I guess we could.
00:22I don't know.
00:23I didn't know.
00:24Some of them aren't good.
00:25Some of them are more visual than audio, and some of them just aren't that funny.
00:30You've narrowed it down nicely.
00:31We could start off with the Texans, and just to set this up,
00:36and I apologize to Simpsons hardcore fans out there.
00:40Some of these, I don't recognize them from an episode or anything,
00:42but this specific one looks like what?
00:45Real quick, do you still watch the Simpsons?
00:48Every now and then.
00:49Every now and then, okay.
00:50I loved the Simpsons back in the 90s.
00:54I haven't watched a new episode in years.
00:57Right.
00:57I'm guessing I'd still like it.
00:58There's a lot out there that you haven't seen.
01:00Yeah.
01:00So this is Bart walking off stage,
01:02looking like he just maybe had a disappointing performance,
01:06and greeting him is Krusty the Clown.
01:09Okay.
01:10What happened?
01:12Oh, don't worry about that.
01:14You're just finished.
01:15That's all.
01:16I thought that perfectly summed up the end of the Texans season.
01:19The Texans had gone on this incredible run,
01:22winning game after game after game after game,
01:25and it did, it was kind of a shock to my system.
01:27Yeah.
01:27Oh, we're just, we're just finished.
01:29That's all.
01:30So in that episode, was Bart like a child star of some sort?
01:33Yeah, I think so.
01:34Yeah.
01:34I remember that one.
01:35That's an older episode.
01:36Yeah.
01:36He had come into some kind of prominence,
01:38and then he botched it, and that was it.
01:40You're just finished.
01:40That was with the Texans.
01:41They're just finished.
01:42Yeah.
01:42After that Patriots game.
01:44And if you want to.
01:44That could be C.J. Stroud walking off the field.
01:46Yeah.
01:46That's what I was just going to say.
01:47If you want to get a little bit more acute with it,
01:49that was Bart with C.J. walking off the stage right there.
01:52How many games in a row did the Texans win, Sean?
01:55Ten including the playoffs.
01:56Ten in a row including the playoffs.
01:58So nine regular season, and then the Pittsburgh game,
02:01which makes the schedule release next year very interesting
02:05because these are regular season streaks that get tabulated here.
02:10The Texans have tied their franchise record with nine,
02:13so whoever they play in the opener next year,
02:15they'll be going for the franchise regular season record win streak.
02:19So if the Texans lose their opener next year,
02:21people might be really upset as opposed to when we lose our opener
02:24in any other given year.
02:26Yeah, exactly.
02:27People like me that keep track of streaks.
02:29I'll tell you right now,
02:30if the Texans only score 13 points or something in the opening game,
02:34it's going to be ugly out here on these sports radio streets.
02:37It's going to be trouble.
02:38It's going to be really, really bad.
02:41Yep.
02:42This was fun.
02:43This is the Colts in a Simpsons clip.
02:46This is the end of the Colts season.
02:48Yeah, so this is Homer Simpson talking to a Duff beer executive.
02:53What does the future hold for Duff?
02:56Let's just say we've got a few ideas up our sleeve.
02:59Like what?
03:01I'd rather not get into it right now.
03:02Why not?
03:03All right.
03:04We don't have any ideas for the future.
03:05We got nothing.
03:06Happy?
03:07No.
03:08That's 100% the Colts.
03:10That is.
03:11They don't have any draft picks.
03:15Yeah, that's true.
03:16They don't have a quarterback under contract.
03:18And if they do get that quarterback under contract in Daniel Jones,
03:21they've got to worry about whether he comes back from his Achilles tendon
03:24or if he's even actually all that good.
03:28Yeah.
03:28Unless they're going to roll the dice with Riley Leonard.
03:30Hey, what am I?
03:31I can't say much about Riley Leonard.
03:33Last time I saw him play,
03:34he was kind of dicing up the Texans defense.
03:37Yeah.
03:38And their backups.
03:39And Ballard feels like one of those guys that might act like he's got an idea up his
03:44sleeve, like that Duff executive.
03:46You know, the same guy, the same guy that the same guy that cackled it.
03:48He's got the best defensive player in the draft.
03:51Yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:53Like he's a ball-knower ahead of everybody else.
03:57He was talking about Leatu, and he's actually turned into a good young player,
04:02but they need a lot more than just that.
04:03Yes.
04:03Sauce Gardner, obviously.
04:05They didn't get the real full Sauce Gardner experience.
04:08Dude, they barely got a non-Sauce Gardner experience.
04:12They just got to hope that Sauce Gardner somehow really signs a quarterback for him.
04:17Patriots.
04:17You're going to like this one for two reasons.
04:19One, because it's hating on the Patriots.
04:21Yep.
04:21But two, it's also, it's Magic Johnson.
04:25And it's Magic Johnson talking on a phone during a Lakers game, as best as I can tell.
04:29Is it really Magic's voice, or is it somebody voicing Magic?
04:32I don't think so, but this is, it's a very short one, so pay attention.
04:36Don't worry.
04:37Sooner or later, people like that are exposed as the frauds they are.
04:40Yep.
04:41And the Patriots being exposed as the frauds they are.
04:44I think that was really Magic Johnson.
04:46Then it was, so Magic Johnson exposing the Patriots for the frauds that they are.
04:50Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
04:51Play it one more time, Ben.
04:52This sounds like.
04:52Don't worry.
04:53Sooner or later, people like that are exposed as the frauds they are.
04:56Sounds exactly like him, man.
04:57Because it doesn't sound like any of the other character actors.
05:01Right, right, right.
05:02Yeah.
05:02For the Simpsons.
05:03Yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:04Yeah, well, you know what?
05:05I think the Simpsons does a job of getting the actual celebrities and say the family guy.
05:09The family guy, the actual celebrities.
05:12I'm not going anywhere near your cancellation fest.
05:17A little more toxic.
05:17I'm not going to catch.
05:18Yeah.
05:19A little more toxic.
05:20So, yeah.
05:21Is it fair to say the Patriots are the fraudulent element to them?
05:24Yes.
05:25I think 100% there's a fraudulent element.
05:27They were 14-3 in the regular season.
05:30They won 13 of their last 14 games.
05:33Drake May, somehow, that finished second in the MVP voting.
05:38And people were livid.
05:39People in New England were livid that he wasn't the MVP winner.
05:43Can you imagine how embarrassing?
05:44Dude.
05:44They're already.
05:45Patriots fans are already really embarrassed because they spent an entire season acting
05:48like the strength of schedule shouldn't matter.
05:51And it doesn't mean anything, et cetera, et cetera.
05:54And then they got to, when they had to go up against actual defenses in the playoffs,
05:58Drake May did not look good at all.
06:00But if he had actually won MVP and then had that playoffs in Super Bowl performance, somehow
06:06the Patriots have to be even more embarrassed than they already are.
06:09The best thing the Patriots have going for them is they have four layup wins during the
06:12year with the Jets and the Dolphins in that division.
06:14And other than that, the schedule gets way harder next year.
06:19They don't know what Stefan Diggs and Christian Barmore's legal status is going to be.
06:23There's that.
06:24But I think, too, that you bring up Diggs.
06:27Diggs and then on the defensive side of the ball, like Diggs was a free agency signing.
06:31You look at that defense, Carlton Davis and Milton Williams and Spillane, and I know missing
06:36a few more, they went spending in free agency.
06:40That's oftentimes not a long-term recipe for 14-3 type success to sign a bunch of veteran
06:49guys.
06:50There's a fall-off that happens.
06:51The teams that tend to build, and they've not drafted all that well, the Patriots.
06:55Drake May has been one of their only good draft picks the last few years.
06:59I just feel like, I know we're diving deep on the Patriots here, but this clip here brings
07:05up the fraudulent aspect of them.
07:07I am searching right now to find out what their win total is going to be 10 or 11 next
07:11year
07:11because they won 14 this year.
07:13I'm going under on the Patriots next year.
07:15This next one is related because it's the Chargers.
07:21Their season was ended by the Patriots.
07:23By the Patriots, right.
07:24So this is a father talking to a son.
07:27There are a couple of carnies who are basically outgrifted by Homer Simpson.
07:32So this is the Chargers end of season in a Simpsons clip.
07:36Well, there's no shame in being beaten by the best.
07:39But he didn't seem all that good.
07:40We were beaten by the best, boy.
07:47God, who is this?
07:48This is at Simpsons NFL?
07:50Yeah.
07:51How am I not?
07:52It's at Simpsons NFL or NFL Simpsons.
07:53You put at Simpsons NFL in the rundown.
07:56Yeah.
07:56I put a lot of things in there.
07:57I got to look it up right now just to be sure.
08:01Yeah, and that's pretty much it, right?
08:03That was that Chargers game.
08:06You watched it and you thought, well, I mean, you got to credit the Patriots for eventually
08:10figuring it out against the Chargers who have the worst offensive line in football.
08:14Play that one again, Ben.
08:15Play that one again.
08:15Well, there's no shame in being beaten by the best.
08:19But he seemed all that good.
08:19We were beaten by the best, boy.
08:22The Patriots are Homer Simpson.
08:26Beating the Chargers who are grifters.
08:29It's at the Simpsons NFL.
08:31At the Simpsons NFL.
08:32They did it for all 32 teams.
08:34How am I not following that?
08:36Okay.
08:36Continue.
08:37This next one, this is an interesting one as we get into draft season.
08:41But this clip describes the Raiders season in a Simpsons clip.
08:46And it's a scene of McBain, the action hero, talking to his partner as his partner is dying.
08:53I know this one.
08:54In a pool of blood.
08:55Yeah.
08:56McBain.
08:57Yes?
08:58I'm not going to make it.
08:59Oh, stop talking crazy.
09:00No, no, no, no.
09:01Just do one thing for me.
09:05Get Mendoza.
09:12Mendoza!
09:17That's good.
09:19That's pretty self-evident.
09:20Where are we going?
09:21I couldn't hear.
09:22You couldn't hear the first Mendoza?
09:24Yeah.
09:25Oh, okay.
09:25The guy that was dying in a pool of his own blood wasn't.
09:27He needed to speak up as he was dying in a pool of his own blood.
09:31This is what I hope for the Raiders' sake.
09:33Is that if the Raiders decide that they don't want to be in the Fernando Mendoza business.
09:38Because it's not, I mean, like, there's a lot to love about the kid and everything.
09:42It's not like he's a slam dunk number one overall caliber quarterback.
09:45No, no, no, no, he's not.
09:46But, man, people, it seems to me, and maybe I'm wrong on this, but just judging by social
09:51media and whatnot, it seems like the Raiders' fan base is on Mendoza being their next quarterback.
09:57If the Raiders decide that that's not what they want to do, I just, I would not be dramatic
10:01about it at all.
10:03I would, look, and you don't want to be, you don't want to operate just to appease your fan base
10:07or anything, but, man, if you let that fan base get worked up into a fervor and convinced
10:12that he's going to be the quarterback that the Raiders are going to draft, don't, make
10:17your trade out of number one overall early.
10:19Yeah.
10:19And it's hard to do.
10:20Yeah.
10:20This year especially, with no slam dunk quarterbacks, it's hard to trade out of number one.
10:25Or at least state your intentions that you're not going to be drafting Mendoza.
10:28Because people are, they're going to be crestfallen if it's a big surprise on draft night or something.
10:33Okay, obviously if someone's trading up for Mendoza, as long as we're talking about this,
10:37it's worth doing an exercise.
10:38And by the way, we're going to do our first mock draft injection of draft season at 745
10:42today.
10:43We're going to use Jonathan Alexander's mock draft from the Chronicle.
10:46Jonathan, if you're listening, circle 745.
10:48So Seth and I tear you apart at 745.
10:51Can't believe the moves this kid made.
10:52It's going to be ugly.
10:53But if you're looking at the, I'm looking at the draft order right now on tankathon.com.
10:58Good go-to for draft orders in sports.
11:01Vegas is picking for, God, there's four teams that had the same record.
11:05Four teams were 3-14, but the Raiders get the number one overall pick because they had
11:10the weakest schedule out of those four teams.
11:13That's the tiebreaker.
11:14The weaker the schedule, the higher you pick.
11:16The Jets are number two.
11:18They need a quarterback.
11:19They could trade up.
11:20And they've got extra draft capital from the Sauce Gardner trade.
11:24Arizona's picking three.
11:25They are likely to move on from Kyler Murray.
11:27I don't think they've got extra draft capital, but they need a quarterback.
11:30I don't think Tennessee at four is moving up.
11:33I think they're going to ride it out with Cam Ward for another year.
11:36The Giants are five.
11:37Oh, yeah.
11:37There's no way it helps.
11:38I'm just trying to figure out which teams could be the trade-up candidates.
11:42Cleveland.
11:43Cleveland at six, I think, is one.
11:47Unless they're all in on Shador Sanders, a fifth-round pick from last year, whose numbers
11:51were the worst in the NFL, they should at least be making fun.
11:55And they've got Jacksonville's pick.
11:56And they also have a quarterback on the roster who has the highest cap number in the NFL.
12:00Yeah, that too.
12:01Yeah.
12:01Not just of quarterbacks, just of players.
12:04Deshaun Lawson.
12:05I don't know.
12:06It's like $90 million or something like that.
12:07Who knows?
12:08I saw that picture of Deshaun and his wife on social media.
12:11Oh, yeah.
12:12Looking like they're wearing about $400,000 worth of gear between the fur coats and the
12:17jewelry and everything.
12:18So in the picture, it's funny you say that because I snarkily tweeted about it.
12:22I retweeted the picture and said, Deshaun in mid-season form, but they were both holding
12:26in that picture.
12:28They're on some long vacation right now where they're going everywhere outside of the United
12:32States.
12:33And they both got these nice, clearly very nice fur coats on and fur caps on.
12:38They're both holding their watches up.
12:41And my first reaction was, well, this is just Deshaun showing off another six-figure purchase
12:45that he made.
12:46Yeah.
12:46Then I had several people say, no, he's doing a little salute to his teammate, Shadur Sanders.
12:51That's kind of Shadur's thing is holding up the watch.
12:53Oh, it is.
12:54Oh, okay.
12:54Oh, that's good.
12:55Well, okay.
12:56Which do you think it is?
12:58Do you think he's giving a salute to his teammate, Shadur Sanders, who, to give Deshaun
13:02credit-
13:03Did you see the original post?
13:05Was it on his account?
13:06It was one of these Dove Kleiman accounts that took the picture and put it on there.
13:10Yeah.
13:10So I don't know.
13:11I'm guessing just because she's an actual influencer and makes her living off of that, that it might've
13:15been just a watch.
13:16Showing off the watchers.
13:17She's got sponsorship for it or something.
13:18Yeah, and I just think Deshaun's vibe is more about that.
13:20Now, I will say this, that Deshaun got a lot of praise from people in Cleveland over the
13:26assistance he was giving to Shadur during those seven starts.
13:30Yeah.
13:30So maybe he is trying to be a good teammate doing that.
13:34Okay.
13:35That's cool Deshaun's being a good teammate.
13:37One of the things that ran across my feed this morning was Deion, I thought it was a
13:43pretty funny joke.
13:45There's a massage therapist that's coming in to give Deion a massage, Deion Sanders, father
13:49of Deshaun Watson's teammate.
13:51And underneath the massage drape, Deion's wearing a full sweatsuit.
13:58Smart.
13:59Yes.
14:00Leaving no room for any chicanery or anything.
14:04I feel like that's not necessarily being a good teammate.
14:07Like, hey, my dad's making fun of your massage ordeal.
14:12Was he doing it to make fun of Deshaun?
14:14I don't know, but it's impossible not to make that tie in your mind.
14:18Oh, of course.
14:18Yeah.
14:19Of course.
14:21Even if he wasn't making it specifically about Deshaun, that's where my mind went.
14:26Yeah.
14:26And many others as well.
14:27Oh, yeah.
14:27No.
14:28Yeah.
14:28Absolutely.
14:29I know you're going to like this one because you hate J.J. McCarthy.
14:31So this is the Simpsons clip for each NFL team to describe their season.
14:38This one is Homer at a football game.
14:41It's the first game of the season.
14:43I think it's the Adams is the name of the pro.
14:46They have a rookie quarterback.
14:48And Homer is all amped up about this rookie quarterback until the moment the rookie quarterback
14:53is obvious that he sucks.
14:55Here's Homer afterwards.
14:56Oh, my God.
14:58The 22-year-old I bet all my happiness on is nothing but a bust.
15:04Bust.
15:05Bust.
15:05Bust.
15:06Bust.
15:06But you were just cheering for him.
15:08You've been talking about how great he is every day for months.
15:12Yes.
15:13That's J.J. McCarthy right there.
15:14That's J.J. McCarthy.
15:15That is.
15:15The nine.
15:18Nine.
15:18I turn in.
15:19I flip it.
15:20That was one of the most ridiculous clips ever.
15:22It couldn't have been a worse possible turn of events for just going back to drafting
15:28J.J. McCarthy, but then deciding to say sayonara to Sam Darnold.
15:33They thought they were going to be able to get Daniel Jones.
15:35They thought surely Daniel Jones would want to play for us.
15:38Yeah.
15:38Daniel Jones leaves.
15:39Yeah.
15:39And then Sam Darnold goes and wins a Super Bowl in a year where J.J. McCarthy did nothing
15:44to inspire.
15:45Bad look, man.
15:46Bad look.
15:46And now they're talking about bringing Kirk Cousins back there.
15:49You have the solution right there in the building.
15:52That's how somebody suggests that they trade for Davis Mills.
15:56Minnesota?
15:57Yeah.
15:58It wasn't like a news report or anything.
16:00It was somebody.
16:00That was what they were throwing out there.
16:02They should trade.
16:02That's how bad a season J.J. McCarthy had.
16:04Not that without throwing shade at Davis Mills, just think about what people out there in America
16:10think of Davis Mills and everything.
16:12That they're actually talking about replacing their first-round pick with Davis Mills because
16:18that's how little faith they have in J.J. McCarthy.
16:21We talked earlier about the whole C.J. Stroud trade rumor thing.
16:24When I say trade rumors, I mean, it's basically Todd McShay and Albert Breer speculating that
16:29teams could be calling, among other teams, the Texans about their quarterbacks in a trade.
16:34Yeah.
16:34For all the people telling you don't believe the stories about C.J. Stroud getting traded,
16:38there's no stories about C.J. Stroud getting traded.
16:40It's really, it's just, it's people overreacting to other people speculating.
16:44Here's where I was going with this, is that you and I both agree there's like a 0% chance
16:48of C.J. Stroud getting traded.
16:49I think there's almost a 0% chance of Davis Mills getting traded.
16:54We learned how important a competent backup quarterback is this year.
16:59You know, the Texans don't make the playoffs likely with a different backup quarterback.
17:05Especially when you think about, okay, the things that you'd like to have if your starting
17:09quarterback goes down.
17:10All right, well, at least we've got a good rushing attack, right?
17:13No.
17:14Okay, well, at least we have offensive linemen who can genuinely sustain pass protection.
17:18Nope.
17:19Nope.
17:20So Davis Mills being able to go in there and Davis Mills helped out the offensive line a
17:25lot just by getting rid of the ball really, really fast when he was in there.
17:28It was a matter of, yes, you needed a veteran backup who understands the system in there.
17:35And, you know, I know it was his first year in the system, too, but there's some similarities
17:38to things he's already been in.
17:41Yeah, you don't go to the playoffs without Davis Mills this year.
17:46So whatever the percent chance of C.J. getting traded, it's very, very, very low, as close
17:51to zero as possible.
17:52And because of that, I think also there's not a chance that Davis Mills gets traded.
17:56I agree.
17:57Unless Graham Mertz has just been lighting it up and they can get some really good draft
18:02capital for Davis Mills or something.
18:04The only...
18:04But it's very, very unlikely.
18:07I want quarterback is I want Case Keenum back in the building in some capacity.
18:11You know, and...
18:12So you want to trade Graham Mertz?
18:13Well, I think I would love to have Case Keenum back as either a coach...
18:18Yeah.
18:19Or, yeah, I mean, I'm not invested in Graham Mertz.
18:22I just, I think...
18:23I think...
18:24I don't think it's a total coincidence that C.J.'s play deteriorated somewhat.
18:29You know, and I'm not saying, like, it's the whole reason.
18:31I'm saying, like, sports is all about little incremental fractional things.
18:35And I think Case Keenum back in the building would be a good thing for C.J.
18:39And Davis Mills, probably, too.
18:40No, and I bring up Graham Mertz, like, not as a joke, but it's just...
18:43There's no way in hell they're going to have four quarterbacks on the active roster.
18:46No.
18:47Well, now, Mertz might be a guy that you can stash on the practice squad.
18:50I don't know that anybody's picking up Graham Mertz to put on their 53.
18:53Or, I mean, it would depend on where Case...
18:55I don't think...
18:56If Case Keenum had a chance to play somewhere else during the regular season because somebody
18:59went down, I think he would.
19:00So it's not like you could just stick Case Keenum on the practice squad the whole year.
19:04Yeah, no, you definitely couldn't.
19:05Yeah, that's true.
19:05I don't think so.
Comments