00:00Who are you?
00:01We're Tom and Tom.
00:02The Brothers Brothers.
00:03That's right.
00:04Well, we hope we're not late.
00:06It's just that initiation you put us through is pretty tricky.
00:10Those were the friendliest dogs I've ever seen in my life.
00:13That was very clever of you.
00:14And the guy with the Billy Club.
00:16Hey, he must be a method actor.
00:18I've got some nuts on my noodle there.
00:20You might want to feed those dogs, though.
00:23That's right.
00:23Oh, but they had the friendliest little smiles out there.
00:26All those teeth.
00:27I haven't seen anything like that in a long time.
00:29I thought Gary Coleman was on my arm.
00:34I think we're ready for the last step, though.
00:35We've practiced in that handshake.
00:37Let's show him, Tom.
00:39Whistle, whistle, whistle, whistle, whistle, whistle, whistle.
00:42That's very inspiring, gentlemen.
00:44But I don't think you fit in here.
00:45I really don't.
00:46I mean, we're all Republicans, and you're probably Jesse supporters.
00:50You bet you're a last Graham Cracker in, um, Velveeta cheese.
00:54That's right.
00:55I mean, Jesse Helms is a great man.
00:57Anyway, a couple of them worked his way in cougar hands would know that.
01:00That's right.
01:00He's still a right for the tobacco industry.
01:02If I was wasn't for Jesse, there'd be no cigarettes.
01:05That's right.
01:05I mean, what would you do after sex?
01:07Smoke a ham.
01:10He's talking about Jesse Jackson.
01:13Who?
01:15Is he the one between Michael and Tito?
01:20Yeah, he plays the bongos, doesn't he?
01:22The one that kept the nose.
01:24Look, do I have to spell it out for you people?
01:26We don't want your kind around here.
01:29Oh, here we go again, Tom.
01:32Fargan noodles.
01:33Oh, fool.
01:34Dookie.
01:35That's right.
01:36Don't blow your stack.
01:36No, doodle noodles.
01:38Don't blow doodle noodles, but don't blow your stack.
01:40Well, I'm just sick and tired of this kind of projects.
01:43Listen here, pal.
01:44Just because we're entertainers doesn't make us snobs.
01:46That's right.
01:47We're a people.
01:49We are the world.
01:51Kumbaya.
01:52That is not what we meant.
01:54So, you're entertainers.
01:57Well, then, you might want to meet the club comedian, Tom and Tom.
02:02Meet Billy Bob Baker.
02:04Billy Bob Baker.
02:05How you boys doing?
02:07Yeah, I got a real corker for y'all.
02:10What do you call a black man in a three-piece suit?
02:14A defendant.
02:16How did you know that joke?
02:17Know it?
02:18We wrote it.
02:19You probably used to know that a nightclub act.
02:21I sure do.
02:22Yeah, I got one for you.
02:23Why is all the aspirin white?
02:26Because you want it to work for you, don't you?
02:35How do you babysit a little black kid?
02:41Velcro on the ceiling.
02:45You know, Otis, I think we should elect them.
02:48It may help us settle that discrimination suit.
02:51Hmm.
02:51Colonel.
02:52All righty, then.
02:54Congratulations.
02:55We're the new Dixie Hill Country Club, Tom.
02:58It's so exciting.
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