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00:00right now our next guests are coming here to talk to us about that lingering effects of trauma y'all
00:07oh so good because a lot of times that trauma can sneak up on us and we like oh is that a trigger
00:13what in the world right whether you go through something for an extended period of time or you
00:18experience something traumatic one time trauma can really impact you in several different ways
00:26and areas in your life so without further ado here to unpack all of that and i'm sure more
00:32coming to the stage my girlfriend in real life entrepreneur and comedian kiana dancy come on up
00:40here sis we have mental health advocate and founder of silence the shame another girlfriend in real
00:47life shanti does yes yes yes we have oh thank you we have columbia university professor and author
00:56dr marielle bouquet and we have leading the discussion licensing clinical psychologist and
01:03founder of ascension behavioral health dr ayana abrams thank you so much show stacy some love
01:16y'all show us some love show us some love show us some love yes ma'am come on gorgeous we dressed
01:23alike we didn't plan this we got it all together
01:26today we got some therapists in the audience i like it i like it we have more than i thought
01:37oh this is wonderful hey y'all um so today we are going to be talking about um uh oh it's hot
01:46today we're going to be talking about trauma and i want to do some level setting before we start
01:51um that you know we see a lot of talks and we see a lot of words around trauma you know on the
01:57internet on social media but i want to offer a trigger warning um that some of the content we'll
02:02be talking about today might be serious for you might be very heavy and might activate things that
02:07have happened to you or to people who you know so do what you need to do today for your wellness if
02:13that means engaging in any kind of self-soothing that you need in this moment please do that if you
02:18need to step away and step out to take a break for some of what we're talking about please do that
02:22but i want to make sure that you are taking care of yourself first right because you can watch this
02:27at another time yeah right we all on the same page okay um so i did want to get us started today
02:35um i want to do some brief brief brief introductions because i think it's really important for
02:40specifically for black women to be able to acknowledge ourselves and name ourselves so we can just
02:45take 60 seconds um for our panelists to just talk about themselves and why they are here today in
02:50this specific conversation nice are we starting with me we are starting with the with me listen my
02:57name is the kiana dancy i'm a comedian i am an actress i'm an author i used to be a national syndicated
03:03talk show host for a show called sister circle live on tv one i'm a franchise owner some people call me
03:09all the things i'm a jill of all trade um and listen at the end of the day i am a survivor i'm
03:15a child molestation survivor so i am amongst many women who can say me too and i'm not ashamed of it
03:22i uh i really really did not talk about it before because i just thought that it would be a poor
03:28reflection of my mother and one time we were having a segment on sister circle and my mother said kiana
03:34that was an opportunity for you to tell your story and i said i didn't want to say anything
03:39because i didn't want people to judge you by what i've been through and she said to me baby girl i did
03:44not feed you to the monster now although it happened one time it was no penetration it only it was
03:50inappropriate touching but it was still wrong she said kiana that was an opportunity for you to turn
03:55on the light and let you remind yourself that you're not the only one in the room so yes i am a survivor
04:02and i don't let anything that i've been through hold me back from becoming my best self thank you
04:07for sharing absolutely hello beautiful people my name is shanti das i am an atlanta native i am a
04:16former music industry executive helping to launch the careers of artists like usher and outcast
04:21tlc tony braxton even got to work with prince and do some marketing for him i stepped away from a very
04:27high powered and high profile job in 2009 due to emotional issues physical health issues and then
04:35came back to atlanta started doing a lot of community service work my best friend took her own life in
04:412015 and i came really close to taking my own life in 2015 but i'm here today by the grace of god
04:47i got the amen amen work through the traumas of my father's suicide which we'll talk about a little
04:53bit later um and i am the founder and ceo of an organization called silence the shame and we exist
04:58to empower and educate communities around emotional health and wellness and i also am now a founder of
05:04my personal for-profit company called mebo am i for mine bo for body so i'm about to start the
05:09mebo show which is my podcast talking to celebrities influencers and everyday people around mental and
05:15physical health starting an apparel line and i also am a public speaker for major corporations and
05:20universities around the world yes ma'am hello everybody my name is dr mariel bouquet i'm a licensed
05:28psychologist and an intergenerational trauma expert i'm trained in trauma psychology and i'm also a
05:35speaker and an author of the upcoming book which will be on pre-order in a week which is called break
05:40the cycle and it's a healing guide for intergenerational trauma and a lot of the work that
05:45i do is in educating the public especially our people around trauma and the ways in which trauma has
05:51been filtered through in our communities for generations and the ways that we can extract trauma
05:58from our minds our bodies and our spirits so i'm really excited that we are opening up the
06:03conversation on trauma here with these wonderful humans and hopefully we'll we'll be able to dive into
06:09some dialogue that can be really helpful and healing absolutely so i'm gonna hold you right
06:14there because i want to start with dr mariel right so as a clinical psychologist i really want you to
06:19offer the audience some level setting about what trauma oh there it go about what trauma is and what
06:26trauma is not so we see a lot about trauma on social media this is a trauma response this is trauma
06:32you were traumatized if this happened to you so can you speak to and really help the audience understand
06:37what trauma is and what it may not be yes absolutely i think that's a really important
06:42distinction and trauma is the experience that we have the emotional experience that is a response to
06:49an event that has happened to us so it typically isn't the event itself it's how we respond how we cope
06:56through the situation and more often than not when we're talking about trauma we're talking about an
07:00experience that has actually been life-changing life-altering or life-threatening like something
07:07that has actually made it so that we felt like we were not going to survive and when that happens
07:14typically we have an emotional response that surfaces and we stay with that response we call it being in
07:20survival mode yes and when we're in survival mode that's the actual trauma response so it's not like
07:26you know you're feeling afraid that something might happen you know in a relationship and now that's
07:32a trauma response no but if you are chronically afraid for years and decades that your relationships
07:38will fail and that is the general way that you operate around relationships then we have to start
07:45wondering well is there trauma here and there's also different types of traumas the traumas that we have
07:52are under categories of like childhood trauma there's post-traumatic stress disorder there's
07:57racial trauma right like there's so many variable traumas the one that i specialize in intergenerational
08:03trauma which is the only trauma that's handed down generations of families and communities
08:08and it's done by way of our biology meaning our genetics and what we inherit from our parents
08:14and the ways in which we develop emotional vulnerabilities and then also our psychology which is all the
08:20things that happen in our lives that tap us out and make us feel like we're entirely too overwhelmed so
08:25the intersection of those two create intergenerational trauma and and it can look in many different ways
08:31which we can talk about but the distinction there is that it's not just when you're stressed or you're
08:36afraid or anything like that it's a pattern of responses in reference to the experiences that we have
08:43in life that overwhelm us and stress us beyond our capacities to cope thank you so much you know when
08:50i work with you know clients and patients around this you know oftentimes what we're talking about is that
08:55you have experienced something and now your new response to the world is very different than it was
09:00before this thing happened or these series of things happened to you before these patterns existed
09:05so oftentimes when i hear clients talk about things in a before and an after i'm assessing for trauma
09:11when they say before that happened i thought the world was this before that happened i felt safe
09:17in this way and now everything has changed for me that's when i'm doing a different assessment of
09:22trauma right so i really appreciate the distinction between something that can feel uncomfortable or
09:27painful versus something that is actually life-altering for you that you feel all the way down in your
09:33body right that the body remembers the body keeps the score of that even if you don't have words
09:38for what you have experienced and that's why i really wanted to offer the audience that distinction
09:43does that make sense um so shanti i wanted to ask you next right so as a mental health advocate
09:50right you help so many of us with education with programming with different services related to
09:56trauma how do you and your work see the impact of trauma on black women thank you for that that's a
10:03great question uh i think trauma shows up in so many different ways for black women um i want to
10:09read a few stats that i wrote down great in addition to racism obviously black women um gender and race
10:15intersect to make us equally and uniquely vulnerable to ptsd and trauma as young girls black children have
10:22almost have almost twice the risk than white children of sexual abuse also black girls and women 12 years and
10:28older experience higher rates of rape rather than their white asian or latino counterparts and this
10:34research was taken from 2005 to 2010 you also think about domestic violence right in relationships you
10:41think about the trauma as black women where we see our black boys our black husbands our black fathers
10:49constantly getting accosted by police getting killed by police having to deal with police brutality in the
10:55workplace right with our crowns and how we're treated because of our hair all of the microaggressions that
11:01we get placed upon us as black women it shows up in so many different areas of life and even you know
11:07you think about how black people were disproportionately affected in the pandemic so many of our loved ones
11:14passed away so you can also experience trauma from the loss of a loved one right from the death of someone
11:20very close to you so it shows up in many many forms and in cycles in this country and it's so crazy that
11:28we always hear oh black women save the day right but we get mistreated in so many different ways right
11:33it also shows up in the hospitals where we have to over advocate for ourselves i was really really sick
11:39two summers ago and i ended up having to have my gallbladder removed but every white nurse was so
11:44disrespectful to me i was in there by myself no one was with me i'm not married i don't have kids but i do
11:49have family and loved ones but you know how sometimes we feel like we're super women and so
11:53i went to the hospital by myself but it was so frustrating and so i was having those feelings of
11:58anxiety sadness and depression those are all feelings that you can you know start to feel as
12:03a result of a traumatic experience and so it shows up every day in all of our lives in so many different
12:09ways and so it is important um as dr mariel said you have to pay attention to the patterns
12:15and how those behavioral patterns persist in your life and that's when you really know that
12:19you need to go see someone and deal with it i really appreciate you sharing that because you
12:23know historically what we understood as trauma and even we can talk about that in terms of the mental
12:28health field right we've only talked about trauma as it related to war combat veterans right something
12:34big and big and major had to happen right some really kind of awful or gruesome type of death and we
12:40really expanded the conversation to be about these responses of things that might happen in your life so
12:45things like medical racism right things like racialized trauma vicarious trauma right when you
12:51are seeing things happen to people who look like you and you are seeing the injustice of that right
12:55that can lead to a trauma response so we're really expanding how we're even talking about it so we can
13:00recognize how collectively we have been significantly impacted by this so i really appreciate you naming that
13:06it doesn't have to be this big event and you know in the in psychology we've talked about you know big t
13:11trauma and little t trauma which i think has also really been dismissive right of ways in which our
13:16bodies has responded to traumas that might you know that we might experience in our households in our
13:21communities in our churches right all these different spaces that it doesn't have to be this big grand
13:26thing that everyone else would recognize right but you recognize your body will tell you some of these
13:32things and you it's really about are you listening to your body and in response to that do you have people in
13:37your life who are listening to what you are saying about what your body is experiencing because that
13:41can also be a re-traumatizing experience to not feel heard by people and not only that yes absolutely
13:47not only that it may not be that people are you're talking telling people what is going on maybe they
13:52just see or you see like girl your hair is falling out you're gaining weight your face is breaking out
13:57what is happening to you if you have a close tribe whether it's male or female whatever your sister
14:02circle looks like you want to make sure that you have someone like sis i see something going on with
14:07you and i want you to do a self-check oftentimes we're busy we're moving around and we don't have
14:13the time to stop and take a self-check which we should do and put it on the forefront but if you're
14:18not doing that your social circle should be able to check you like sis you don't look good let me tell
14:24you something i'm anemic severely anemic so much so i have to get trans um infusions my aunt who lives in
14:31ohio can see a picture and say your iron is low because she say my color changed i had never
14:38noticed that until she sent me a picture and sent me and she sent me two pictures said here you're
14:43glowing right here she said was it makeup i said i had no makeup on she said your iron is low go get
14:48checked and she was right so you have to do those self checks and also have a circle of friends around
14:53you that see the things sometimes it's not alopecia girl it's just stress yeah yeah and sometimes
14:59there's stuff that we actually cannot see because a lot of our traumas especially as black women have
15:06been there for so many generations that they have started to look like the norm and they started to
15:12look like culture right like maybe you being able to handle it all and being hyper independent
15:20isn't necessarily like a good thing right right personality quality that you know is there for
15:27you to like just be proud of maybe that hyper independence is a byproduct of so many people
15:32disappointing you and so many people letting you down that you're now in a space where you avoid
15:39having to trust others in order to then rely upon them and allow your heart to be broken again
15:45right so it's like a lot of those things that we have to be mindful of maybe that person that's always
15:50the pessimist and always saying like oh no that ain't gonna happen maybe so many bad things have
15:55happened in their lives that now they don't believe that good things can happen and that's
16:00a trauma response i love that statement because i always say the evolution of a strong woman became
16:05because some of a weak man okay y'all hold on and the reason why yeah i understand and the reason why
16:11i said that she just said i'm strong i'm strong i'm strong but you haven't had anyone that you can lean
16:16on or trust that so now you're this superwoman and you really don't need to you really just want to put
16:21it all down but where do you turn when you don't have anyone and that in itself can turn up as
16:26trauma it can girl it's a whole nother conversation but i think what you all are speaking to is that
16:32oftentimes when we have these conversations we are looking at these as very individualized problems yes
16:38that you are like this because of you which means you need to fix you versus being able to look at this
16:42as something collective yes when i think about you know medical racism so we say you know black people
16:47don't go to the doctor black men don't go to the doctor well that started a long time ago
16:52right and that's the result of medical racism right that's the result of not feeling safe in
16:56the care right of white people who are in authority who harmed us so we have learned right that we can't
17:02go there and actually be taken care of but we get blamed for it right so being able to think about
17:07those kinds of conversations those kind of dynamics in our relationships in our families with our
17:12children at work when did this story begin because the story didn't begin with you you learned this
17:18from somewhere right whether it's already in your blood in your bones or whether this is learned
17:22behavior that we see but recognizing this there's literally a book called it didn't start with you
17:27absolutely that's what this is talking about but how to really take in right these community
17:32and these collective stories to really understand your personal story i wanted you shanti to talk a
17:39little bit about community and support systems right because what i what what i think we all know
17:45and i think we also need to talk about more is that you know women and black women we have saved our
17:49own lives time and time again and we have saved each other's lives time and time again because we're
17:54the ones who was looking at the eyes and say your eyes a little yellow what's going on we're the ones who
17:58are constantly doing that for each other even if we're not doing it for ourselves can you talk about the role
18:03of community in your life i added a question in can you talk about the role of community in your life
18:09yeah so from a lived experience perspective it's so important to lean on your community i think
18:14oftentimes when we go through traumatic experiences we isolate right and we tend not to want to impose
18:21our problems or issues on anyone else but for me community saved my life um so my dad our dad i had
18:29two siblings died by suicide i was seven months old and so my sister helped to raise us while my mom was
18:35working it was my brother and i and then fast forward to this great life in the entertainment industry
18:41walking away from all of that i dealt with a lot of traumatic experiences even in the workplace as a
18:46black woman from men and women and not just men unfortunately and so when i almost came close to
18:53taking my own life i didn't tell anybody um very few people knew about it and thank god i had the
19:00courage to text my pastor so you talk about community right i'm a member of ebenezer baptist church
19:05so dr raphael g warnock who is a senator he said i'll pray with you but you got to get help you actually
19:12have to go to the doctor because you're talking about ending your life and so i reached back into my
19:18faith community right my community of my girlfriends who were there for me and i think i experienced
19:25community unlike i ever had when i lost my sister my sister died unexpectedly in 2019 and i still get
19:33emotional it was an extremely traumatic event for me it felt like i was having an out-of-body experience
19:38like someone had just literally ripped my heart out um but it was my friends and my family that got me
19:45through it it was it was my therapist it was my doctor it was the people that loved my sister her
19:53friends and so i felt like i was suffocating at times and so when you're going through anything
19:58traumatic i'm not saying you got to talk about it on social media i actually utilize social media as a
20:03form of community i opened up and i was very vulnerable and very open and transparent about what i had
20:08gone through and so it's a community of strangers yeah that were literally wrapping their virtual arms around me
20:14getting me through this incredibly tough time of losing my sister and having to care for my mom
20:19who has alzheimer's and my mom died last year so i'm still healing through the trauma of the loss of
20:25dear loved ones but i am now at a point where i allow people in i think it's actually okay it's nothing
20:31to be embarrassed about it's nothing to be ashamed about so you talk about that cape sometimes you got
20:36to extend that cape as black women to other women in your circle other women in your community take that cap
20:42and wrap it around them right give them that love of protection and strength that they know that
20:47what they're going through that they're not alone yes dr modi oh you want to know we talked about
20:52this off camera we talked about pcp i've subscribed to pcp and i'm not talking about the drug but it is
20:59prayer couch and prescription and so you know although i am not a licensed therapist i've been through i've been
21:05a child uh i've been on the couch for a long time since i was six and i believe wholeheartedly it starts
21:10with prayer but it's not enough scripture says prayer without works is what y'all dead so you
21:15got to put in the work so when you go to praying and you get down your knees he put people on this
21:20planet to help us get it together which means you go to a counselor you go to a therapist i am not able
21:26to do this alone so not only you pray now you're on the couch but also that that professional may need
21:32to get you a prescription and don't be ashamed to say i need some help quieting these noise and these
21:38thoughts in my head so pcp is i never had to have the prescription but i've definitely been pc come
21:45on yes dr mario right you know there are also some ways in which you know people might experience
21:51trauma that are much more recognizable right can you help the audience understand some ways
21:56that physiologically um your trauma response might show up and some of the things to pay
22:00attention to that maybe we don't think about oh yes that's a really important one because like you
22:05mentioned uh earlier that trauma is a primarily a body-based process so we tend to feel trauma more
22:12in our bodies and in our minds and we tend to think about trauma as something that is very emotion based
22:18and thought-based right but in reality our bodies are telling us that we are in trauma before our minds
22:24are capturing that and so it's really important to be mindful of the multiple ways in which our bodies
22:30are shifting and it can be something as temporary and benign as let's say like a rash yes but it can
22:36be something as life-altering as actual complications with your heart it can be gastrointestinal issues that
22:44resemble ibs irritable bowel syndrome right it can be autoimmune conditions that surface to have a
22:50direct connection to stress and even some cancers have been mapped back to stress and chronic trauma
22:55and so we have to be really mindful of the ways in which trauma continues to get recycled in our
23:00bodies generation after generation and our bodies continue to have these trauma pockets that we then get
23:06transfer over into our family members into different generations so the more that we can be mindful of
23:12the multitude of ways in which trauma actually is reflected in the body the better equipped that we would be able to
23:19actually extract it from the body so that we don't have to exist in bodies that are legacies of trauma
23:25but bodies that have actually liberated themselves and broken that cycle can i add to that really
23:31quickly great so i was when i was in 2009 when i was at universal motown literally it was the year that
23:37i that i quit but i was riding uptown in a taxi my entire right side went numb i couldn't feel my fingers
23:44i couldn't feel my arm my leg anything on the right hand side i went to the doctor i had all these
23:49mris and cat scans done and i was diagnosed with cervical spinal stenosis and they said it was a
23:55direct result of stress wow that i had been going wow yeah and i'm still here it is 13 years later
24:00it's rearing its head again but i'm not going to claim it lord because i know he's going to fix it
24:04but it was all because i was stressed out i was depressed and i was dealing with so much that i
24:09literally was falling apart wow yeah that's what happens to us like up to 80 percent of the clinical
24:17diagnoses that come out of primary care have to do with stress so every time we're going over to
24:23our primary care physician most often now they actually have these assessments that they fill
24:30out i don't know you've probably seen them like you know are you anxious or have you been sad for
24:35such and such time they started implementing those in primary care offices because a lot of the things
24:40that were happening to people is that they were stressed they were in trauma they were depressed they
24:45were anxious and they were coming in with these physical ailments that didn't have a physiological
24:51root what it had was a trauma trauma and so now what we're knowing is that we need to get back into
24:56the body in order to extract trauma from the body so that we're not living in traumatized bodies
25:01primarily we can get to the let's talk about what happened we can do that yeah we can only do that if
25:07we're in a settled body in a nervous system that is restored rested filled with ease and can
25:14actually tolerate the work that we need to do to go back into our stories and then do the healing
25:20work from that perspective yes what i wanted dr madia i'm adding another question um to speak to
25:27right because oftentimes when we do talk about you know pain and stress and um intergenerational trauma
25:35and allostatic load right these are all things that black women have been told and just you know you
25:40have to work two or three times as hard to get you know just as far right so the the narrative of
25:46stress has been part of our narrative since we are young you just have to do more you just have to
25:50work harder you have to be perfect you don't get to slip up in all these different ways and we don't
25:55have a lot of conversations about a newer term right from the last few decades called post-traumatic
26:01growth dr mariel can you leave us with something where the audience can can learn and understand
26:08and maybe even think about their own experiences with post-traumatic growth yes absolutely so post
26:14traumatic growth is the experience that we have after an event has happened that has traumatized us
26:21or for many of us who are in constant chronic trauma and for whom the trauma comes from systems meaning
26:28institutional trauma racial trauma poverty trauma all the ways in which these disease systems then
26:34make their ways into our homes into our families and into our souls we have to continuously do the
26:39post-traumatic growth process on on a daily basis so a lot of what post-traumatic growth is especially
26:45from an intergenerational perspective is really committing to a daily task of actually restoring your
26:52mind your body and your spirit yeah it is all of it right so i know that we we've tapped into the
26:57spirit realm right we've talked about the body and then we also there's mind-based practices that we
27:03can do i mean there's a lot of things that we can do on a daily basis journaling has become really
27:07popular right it's a way to dump your thoughts on paper and let the paper have your worries and you
27:13keep your peace it's a very simple practice that you can integrate into your day-to-day you can do deep
27:19breathing you can do rocking have do y'all rock yeah i rock all the time yes humming and rocking and
27:26really allowing your body to get back into a rhythm but in reality the neuroscience behind that is that
27:33we have this part of our nervous system that gets activated to help us to release stress and trauma
27:39whenever we rock whenever we breathe deeply and so if we can take the five minutes and actually
27:45integrate these practices into our daily lives we're distracting away from the trauma and actually
27:53engaging in a restorative process not just for us but for our descendants yes for our ancestors we're
27:59doing it for them and like think about how proud your ancestors would be for you to take those five
28:04minutes nice every single day of your life it takes 300 repetitions of those five minutes for your
28:11nervous system to actually register that you are no longer in a stressed body but in a body that is filled
28:18with ease and calm so 300 repetitions one time five minutes a day 300 times over that's a year if you
28:28take a year of your life to restore yourself in mind body and spirit then you're going to be able to
28:34actually break the cycle of these traumas and you no longer have to be a cycle keeper in your family
28:38and in your communities and if all of us decide that we're going to be doing that imagine in 10 years the
28:44kind of world that will exist i love that i love that yes you kiana you speak to a little bit about
28:51about this in your book can you tell us a little about that book that you have in your life so the
28:54name of my book is called bye bye bags laughing to the light in the low where i discuss healing
28:58myself whole through laughter i'll tell you it wasn't very deep when i first wrote the book i got the bags
29:03under my eyes removed ladies it's a real thing and as i was having a conversation with god i was like look
29:08i need to be when i heal i want to be younger and i want to look prettier and he said yes you will be
29:12younger and prettier but you're ugly on the inside you have work to do so as i said okay fine as i was
29:18healing externally for my baggage i knew that i had to do some internal baggage removal and so i wrote
29:24the book and i unpacked my bags i think a lot of our issues are unresolved baggage that we have not
29:30dealt with in our life we're walking around here as victims opposed to being survivors i'm a survivor
29:36yes i was molested but i'm a survivor yes i lost my dream job on the sister circle live but i'm
29:42a survivor i was in a long-term relationship that did not materialize into marriage but i am
29:47a survivor matter of fact i dodged that bullet come on somebody say amen okay but in this book i do
29:55the work i tell my story as how i got from here to there and it's a win but just like that with my
30:01book i got a journal and it's a guided journal it walks you through the day-to-day what you've been
30:06through how are you fit some mental check you were today i'm not in a good place but when you turn
30:11that page tomorrow you're in a better place yes so it takes it holds you accountable and those around
30:18you accountable because now you can say hey sis i got a journal i need you to journal with me right
30:22it's a celebration it's a celebration absolutely so you told me i got one minute so can you all
30:27let everyone know where to find each of you because you want to find each of them and continue to
30:32continue to support and connect and learn about this dr mariel yes so dr mariel bouquet.com is where
30:38you can find everything that i'm up to my book will be out in a week for pre-order next week
30:44next week yay break the cycle cycle will be out in a week and you can find all of my social on there as
30:51well um you can find me on instagram at shantidas404 i have a book also called silencing my shame where i talk
31:00about my journey of emotional health and wellness it's on my website shantidas404 also you can follow
31:04our organization at silence the shame on instagram we do a lot of work in the community as well as
31:09nationally and i just want to leave you with one thing like you you have to break the cycle within
31:15the families around trauma so it's about modeling behavior right so you gotta if you're the adult in
31:22the situation do what you want your kids to do do what you want your sisters and brothers to do we
31:26have to start one person can break the cycle in the family and it was my sister who broke the cycle
31:31may she rest in peace to go ahead and get therapy because it was so traumatic for our family but none
31:36of us were dealing with it so definitely modeling your behavior and understanding that vulnerability is
31:42actually on your side kiana dancy kiana dancy.com that's k-i-a-n-a-d-a-n-c-i-e kiana dancy on all social
31:51media platforms my non-profit is called bags becoming a guiltless survivor please support me
31:56you can get my book everywhere they sell books burns and noble i'm amazon everywhere i thank you so
32:01much for being here thank you everyone and you sis come on baby dr ayana abrams i am at um on instagram
32:09at dr under ayana underscore ayana underscore a that's dr underscore a y a n a underscore a i'll be at the
32:18boundaries workshop that all y'all need to be at and i'm selling my books in the back thank you thank you
32:48hi guys my name is chris ronane hazlett and ways that i work smarter and not harder
32:54is finding balance to make time for self-care guys it's so important for taking care of yourself because
32:59if you're pouring from an empty cup you can't help anyone so take time for yourself and that's the way
33:04you can work smarter and not harder hey y'all i'm kadeen ellis and i'm deval ellis and what's a gem that we
33:10can give them about trying to live well well it'll be two part the first part will be
33:16living truthfully in who you are so being who you are at all times not leaving leaving home that
33:23representation or that facade live truthfully in who you are be organic be authentic because
33:29the energy that you put out is the energy you're going to receive absolutely and the second part
33:33is to be truthful in real time right be truthful in the moment don't try to backtrack always live
33:39truthfully that's how you live the most healthy life because you don't have to be someone else that
33:43you're not that part and drink your water and mind your business drink your water and mind your
33:48business live truthfully
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