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00:00She's looking for work. I was laid off by the Google layoffs in January.
00:05Hold on, hold on. Hold on. My God. You have not.
00:09Come on. Because you have not.
00:12My God. My God.
00:17What else do you want to talk? No, no. Direct the conversation.
00:20What else do you want to talk to us about? Keep going.
00:22So, for diversity, equity, inclusion, for those who don't know the language,
00:26it means when you're in corporate spaces and they talk about the macroaggressions,
00:30the microaggressions, the biases, you're so pretty for a dark-skinned girl,
00:33that is not a compliment.
00:36It is not a compliment.
00:38Say it again and please slow down.
00:40Slow down so everybody, there's people at home streaming trying to hear you.
00:44Slow down. Tell them.
00:46When you hear you're so pretty for a dark-skinned girl, that is not a compliment.
00:52That is an insult to who you are.
00:56When Jim says, and he's assertive, and he puts his foot down, they...
01:02We gotta get her a t-shirt. We need a t-shirt.
01:18No, no, no, no, no, no. We're gonna get her a drink.
01:20Nah.
01:21Forget a t-shirt. Forget any of that bullshit.
01:24We're getting her a drink.
01:26We gave her a gumbo, and we're gonna get...
01:28A job. Not a drink. A job.
01:29We're gonna get her a job.
01:30We're gonna get her everything you deserve because...
01:33Are you married?
01:36Is she married?
01:37Hey, she's single, y'all. She's single, so...
01:40Nah, this is not no dating. We're getting her a job.
01:43Forget that, man. We're getting her a job.
01:45All y'all bosses out there, hook my girl up.
01:48What's your name? One more time, and tell them where you're from.
01:49Dijanae. Texas.
01:52New Orleans, make some noise to Dijanae from Texas, please.
01:56DJ B, let's get to it.
01:59Oh, we're gonna pull some of y'all up here, too.
02:01So don't...
02:02Everybody's in. Everybody's in.
02:05I'm gonna get you up here.
02:05Bro in.
02:08You made it back.
02:12Get her a job.
02:14Where'd she go?
02:15Where'd she go?
02:26See? That's how you network.
02:28Go find somebody you don't...
02:30Find somebody. Look at that.
02:32Get your number.
02:33Give her a job.
02:34Get her a job.
02:35See that?
02:35Get her a job.
02:42Dijanae, let me get her real quick.
02:44Our next panel right now, like I keep saying throughout the entire evening, this is, it's
02:56a man cave, hashtag in his cave.
02:58So we're having conversations that men have in that cave.
03:02We're building communities.
03:04We're having tough conversations about music, politics, sports, entertainment.
03:09And right now we're having conversations about fatherhood, about the modern day black father.
03:16How do we build communities?
03:17How do we be better for our families?
03:20And my next moderator is here right now to orchestrate that conversation.
03:24Please, New Orleans, make some noise for Michael Barclay.
03:28Please, make some noise, New Orleans.
03:33What's up, Essence Frest?
03:34How y'all feeling today?
03:36Everybody good?
03:39Y'all must have stayed to the end of the concert last night, because y'all ain't, y'all stay?
03:44Well, I'm Michael Barclay, as our lovely host mentioned.
03:48I am Michael Barclay.
03:49Yeah, I called you lovely, bro.
03:52I'm your executive vice president of Experiential here at Essence.
03:55I'd like to one, welcome you to Essence Festival.
03:57We're so happy you're here with us in New Orleans on this beautiful July 1st day.
04:03Today we are going to have one of the most important conversations, in my opinion, on this
04:07stage about the role of the black father in today's society.
04:13And with me, joining me for this conversation, I have three amazing brothers.
04:17First off, Mr. Lance Gross.
04:33We also have joining us, Tyler Lampley.
04:36And my man, Red Russian.
04:47Come on to the stage, brother.
04:53Can we give him a little more Essence love for y'all?
04:56What up, y'all?
05:00I'll let you back.
05:02Brothers, it's great to have you here today.
05:07Appreciate it.
05:08Appreciate it.
05:09Thanks for having me.
05:10So these lovely, I keep saying lovely, what the heck?
05:14These talented men, y'all, I'll leave that alone.
05:18These talented men have found success in entertainment and business and are currently taking on their
05:24most important role and definitely, I would say, probably the toughest, you guys tell me, as
05:29fathers.
05:32So while we know the world has been less than kind for black men and black fathers, we know
05:38that those narratives that they're creating about us aren't true.
05:40So we're going to discuss some of these things today.
05:42How y'all feel about that?
05:43Let's get in.
05:43Let's do it.
05:45Bad, bad, bad.
05:46Thank you guys for being here.
05:47Let's get started.
05:49Sorry, they gave me a lot of paragraphs to read, y'all.
05:51So we're going to take a start.
05:54Well, fellas, let's start with the first question.
05:56This is for everybody.
05:58In the world of Hollywood, where you all have been very successful in your, using your tools
06:04to create very believable, in a lot of cases, desirable lives and roles and lifestyles,
06:12how these, as you sit on these stages and define these portraits on your social and folks really
06:17want, like, to be you, they want to have your lives, how do you centralize black fatherhood
06:21when you take on a job?
06:24Do you separate it from the work that you do, or do you integrate it in your roles?
06:28I don't know who wants to go first.
06:35I mean, check, check, hold on.
06:38Hello?
06:38Y'all can hear me?
06:39Y'all got him?
06:40These mics sound low, right?
06:41Yeah, mic sound low.
06:43Matter of fact, DJ, turn my mic up, man.
06:45So, oh, there you go.
06:48You got it?
06:49No two live.
06:49Yeah, yeah.
06:50So I would say, I mean, I don't know, it's difficult to, I definitely, I definitely go
06:55into, you know, I go into work trying to, trying to check my personal drama at the door,
07:02and then vice versa, when I come home, I try to leave work at, you know, work at work.
07:06But sometimes, you know, sometimes it rubs off, and it definitely, I'll definitely bring
07:11some stuff home with me.
07:12I think the biggest thing for me is, you know, just to let them know that the foundation is
07:18always going to be there, the love is always going to be there, and, you know, their father
07:23is never going, you know, it's never going to waver depending on what I'm working on,
07:28you know what I'm saying?
07:28So I try to keep it separate, but even when it gets mixed up, like, you know, my babies
07:32know that daddy always going to be there and take care of everything, you know what I
07:35do, but for me, I think it's important to explain to your kids, you know, with what
07:41we do, that, you know, this is a job, and daddy's going to be different people when you
07:47see me on TV, and really, my kids love it, they get a kick out of it, and now, I separate
07:53it, well, actually, I, when I do work, a lot of times, nowadays, it's like, you don't get
07:59jobs in Hollywood no more, you everywhere, but Hollywood, and that's where I live, so,
08:05if I'm in Atlanta, I make a point to bring my family out, you know, so on my off time,
08:09when I get off stage, when I get off work, I go home to them, you know, so I include them
08:14in that way.
08:16Right?
08:17Well, with me, I'm not in Hollywood like these guys, so I know it's extremely hard for them,
08:22but, like, honestly, that shit is hard, y'all.
08:25Like, it's hard to, like, constantly on the go, constantly, like, you know, doing stuff
08:32daily, and just come home, you just have to go into daddy mode, you know, just try to
08:38separate the world, and just leave it at the door.
08:41Like he said, sometimes it trickles over, you bring those stress, and bring those things
08:45in, but, you know, it's just all about maintaining, and just keeping your focus, and just making
08:51sure family come first.
08:53Absolutely, absolutely.
08:55With that, just to kind of piggyback off of that, that separation, right, of work, regardless
09:01of whether it's on the screen, or in the business setting, do you, what routines do you create
09:08to help make that separation, and make time for your kids?
09:11Oh, man, when I'm at home, I'm home.
09:16Yeah.
09:16Like, when my kids are around, usually I study and work on my scripts when my kids go to sleep,
09:22so I'm all about spending as much time with my kids as possible, just because there's moments
09:28in time where I'm not there, you know what I'm saying?
09:31Like, if I can't bring them, when I'm home, I'm home.
09:33You're home, right.
09:34That's daddy time.
09:35I try to carve out days that, you know, just for the kids, just for the wife, and then,
09:43you know, just for work, but I just try to carve out days, and just, you know, that's
09:48my time with my kids, you know, because, again, it's tough.
09:55Tyler, with it.
09:56I'm sorry, I kind of got it just by the answers, but what was the question?
09:59We were asking, as you work to separate work, life with the children, your kids, are there
10:07any routines that you put in place to help with that?
10:10Yeah, for sure.
10:10I think, you know, a little similar to what y'all fellas were talking about, definitely
10:14just carving out their own times, you know, so I have three kids, so it's, you know, it's
10:20easy to group the kids all in a group, like, put them all together, right?
10:24You take the kids out, we do everything as a group, but it's like, you know, what I was
10:28noticing is that you just, you kind of lose a sense of the individuality from child to
10:32child, so it's like, you know, of course we have times, like, you know, of course we
10:37go to dinner, we go on vacations and stuff together, but I definitely do try to carve
10:40out, like, individual times, you know, just so I can get to know, you know, Leo, who is
10:44Jay, who is I, you see what I'm saying?
10:46I mean, obviously, my woman's going to get, you know, her own time, but in terms of, you
10:50know, fatherhood with the kids, it's important for them to have their own time, too.
10:54Not to cut you off, but that was something I had to learn, too.
10:57I did that with my son and just took a day, me and him, and I didn't realize how important
11:03that was and how impactful that was, just me and him going to get a hotel room, we went
11:08and hung out, but that's definitely dope, individual time.
11:12Absolutely.
11:14I'm looking in the crowd, this is supposed to be in his zone, in his zone.
11:19In his zone, I see a lot of hers in this zone.
11:32And I know y'all didn't come to see me, but I want to take this one moment since we do
11:38have all the hers in this, in his zone.
11:43We were talking in the back about kids, how many we have, ages, and I know as a father
11:51of three myself, I can't talk about my kids without smiling and talking about who they
11:55are.
11:56I have three myself.
11:58I want to take a moment to go down.
12:00You guys talk about your kids, ages, names, and see with smiles, I guarantee you.
12:08And the hers, this is for y'all.
12:10I'm helping y'all out.
12:11This is for hers.
12:13Brothers?
12:14So for me, my daughter, first born, Berkeley.
12:18She's eight years old.
12:20Okay.
12:20I have a son, Lennon.
12:22He will be five on July 10th, two days after my birthday.
12:27So he's my little buddy.
12:29Yes, sir.
12:31Todd?
12:32All right, let's go down the list.
12:35So my oldest, his name is Leo, and he's about to be six this November.
12:42So Leo is very, all right, Leo is a little different than Jade and Zai.
12:46So Jade is about to be three, Zai is about to be one.
12:48So I felt like I was just out of the woods with Jade, and I had to start all over again with Zai.
12:53So I'm back changing diapers again.
12:56But, you know, my two youngest are very similar.
12:59They look similar, and they're both very outgoing and just very physical, very rough.
13:06Like, they're definitely going to be athletes for sure.
13:09Leo is more of a, I kind of think he might be an artist.
13:14He might be an actor.
13:15He's a little more, you know, he ain't soft by any means.
13:18They'll be getting fights a lot.
13:19But he is definitely very sensitive.
13:22What did he say the other day?
13:23All right, but last thing, I'm going to pass it off to my dog.
13:25We was at a, we was reading, you know how you'll get a chance to go read, you know, maybe read something for the kids at school?
13:33Yep.
13:33So we was up there, and then they had a reader, and he was talking about emotions and whatnot, and different colors and what they meant.
13:40You know, red means anger and whatnot.
13:42And Leo, without being prompted, he just stood up and he said, he said, the color of sadness is clear.
13:49Oh, wow.
13:50And I just thought it was just such a, you know.
13:52How old is he?
13:53He's five.
13:54He's about to be six.
13:55But he's just very creative.
13:56He's definitely going to be an artist.
13:57He can articulate his feelings, and it's great to watch.
14:01It's fun.
14:01That's incredible.
14:02He's five, yeah.
14:04My oldest, I have a 17-year-old, Jalen, sweetest little girl ever.
14:10Then I have Gabby.
14:11Gabby is 10.
14:13Then I have my junior.
14:14I have one son.
14:15My junior stay up under me the whole time.
14:21Like, that's my man right there.
14:22And my five-year-old, Rain, something else.
14:29I'm talking about something else.
14:30There's something new with that little girl every single day.
14:33Just keep you on your toes.
14:34Yeah, there's something new with her every single day.
14:37So, y'all have four.
14:39Four.
14:40Yeah, four.
14:41Three.
14:42Two.
14:44You got how many?
14:45I have three.
14:46I got three.
14:47A 19-year-old, my son, Michael III, which is why I'm now having to start using the second.
14:51Because, you know, it's more than me in the world, apparently.
14:55I have a 17-year-old daughter, Mesa, who just graduated high school.
15:00So, I'm currently the father of two college kids, which is crazy.
15:04Hey, congratulations.
15:06Thanks, man.
15:07And then I have my baby girl, 10-year-old Molly.
15:14I like to call her.
15:16My wife is in here somewhere, so she might kill me for this.
15:19Oh, there she is.
15:19I call Molly her idea.
15:24Because we was done.
15:25I thought we were done anyway.
15:28But, no, those are my girls.
15:29Those are my girls and my sons.
15:31So, yeah, very proud of my family, very proud of my kids.
15:34And, again, you know, understand separating business, personal, and giving everybody their time, the individual time.
15:39So, it's great.
15:41It's the toughest job, but it's the greatest job, right?
15:43All right, so we're going to get into some specific questions for the brothers up here on the panel.
15:49I'm going to start with Tyler.
15:50First of all, who's a fan of the have and have-nots on here?
15:55Y'all watch this?
15:57Oh, shit, you going old school with that one, huh?
16:00They gave me the cards, man.
16:01They gave me a whole, I got your high school plays on here, all that, bro.
16:05What about Harlem?
16:08Anybody watch Harlem in here?
16:15Well, and real quick, real quick, I know it's a little bit off topic, but, you know, it came to me.
16:20I just want to share it.
16:21Go ahead.
16:21You know, what we do, you know, whether it's movies, TV shows, you know, all the hard work that we put in, you know, it really don't go anywhere without this type of support.
16:29You know what I'm saying?
16:30So, it's dope to be able to laugh and kick it with each other, but, like, for real, I understand that, you know, we're not up here without y'all.
16:34So, you know, we don't take it lightly.
16:36We really appreciate y'all.
16:37Absolutely.
16:38Definitely appreciate y'all.
16:42And what was that other show you said?
16:44Was that Pea Valley?
16:48Y'all been going down to the paint, huh?
16:53But clearly you've got fans, and everybody knows that you're a diverse role that you've played throughout, and you've created such memorable characters that are also very dramatically different from each other.
17:05So, how, from all of your characters, and many more that are to come, and the others that you've played, how does that character differ from Tyler, the father?
17:18Or how do they differ?
17:19Because it's multiple.
17:20Yeah, I mean, I think there's more, I think there's more, I mean, my knee-jerk reaction is, like, to find a similarity first.
17:26Like, that's what comes to me first.
17:27Gotcha.
17:28So, like, so one thing I've been, I've seen as, like, a through line between all three of those characters, or shows that you had talked about, is, like, the characters that I've played have definitely had a, just, like, a fierce sense of, like, a protective quality.
17:44You know what I'm saying?
17:44Whether it's Diamond with Keyshawn, or, you know, Benny with his mama, or, you know, Ian with Camille.
17:50So, it's like, that's definitely the thing that I connect with first.
17:53You know what I'm saying?
17:53And it's like, you know, if you mess with my family, it's like, you know, all bets are off in terms of, like, seeing me as an actor or whatever.
18:00You know, I'm a man first.
18:01You know what I mean?
18:01So, that's definitely something that I connect with in terms of some of the characters that I played, for sure.
18:09Man first.
18:11We're men first.
18:13Lance, your career has spanned decades, brother.
18:18It's a blessing.
18:18Yeah.
18:19It's a blessing.
18:21Like Tyler said, it's because of y'all.
18:24You've created such a memorable, multi-layered black man for us to champion.
18:30First of all, thank you, and congratulations.
18:34Yeah.
18:34Many successes.
18:36Appreciate you.
18:36And the roles that you have played have often defined how much, how many of the world, much of the world actually sees black men.
18:44Right?
18:45How important would you say it is to you to create roles that are authentic to you as a father?
18:53Oh, man.
18:54It's super important.
18:54I mean, you know, this is a craft, you know, like I think I said earlier.
18:59There's a separation, you know.
19:01I'm playing a role.
19:04I'm doing a job.
19:04So, all my roles won't be necessarily that.
19:08Okay.
19:08But when I can, I try to pick roles that, you know, uplift black men.
19:14Absolutely.
19:15Because that's what I'm about.
19:16You know, you don't never see me in the media and knock on wood that it stays that way.
19:21You know what I'm saying?
19:21Because I know I got a lot of people that look up to me.
19:24And now I got a daughter and a son that look up to me.
19:27So, you know, you lead by example.
19:29And it's, yeah, I mean, it's the most important thing ever to me.
19:33You know, my parents did it.
19:36You know what I mean?
19:36I'm trying to fill the shoes of my father who was an A1 father.
19:40Right, right.
19:40You know what I mean?
19:41So, yeah, when I can, I try to pick roles that, you know, show black men in a positive light.
19:48Absolutely.
19:48That's great.
19:51Red.
19:51You.
19:54Such a beautiful life, my man.
19:58You know, you have a lot of successes in business, your ventures and so forth.
20:01And I know you got some amazing things coming up.
20:05I heard you got a show premiering in August.
20:07I'll be looking forward to seeing you.
20:08And, again, congratulations on a beautiful family.
20:12How has being a father strengthened your determination and goal setting as you've gone through your day-to-day business and all your ventures?
20:24Being a father strengthened me.
20:27I mean, it's everything.
20:30Like, none of the other shit matter to me.
20:33Right.
20:34You know, the business, the anything, none of that matter to me.
20:37You know, my main focus is my family.
20:41My main focus is my kids.
20:42Like, social media, the world, anything, whatever it is, none of that matters to me.
20:50None of that can dictate what type of father I'm going to be.
20:54When I walk through the door and my kids run up to me, no matter what kind of day I had, no matter what I've done or anything,
21:01when I walk through the door and my little girl run up to me and hug me, that's it.
21:06That's amazing.
21:07Yeah.
21:08I remember the focus.
21:09When I first found out I was going to have my son, it just narrow focused me.
21:14Like, I was just zero focused on getting my life together, making sure I could provide and support my family, my wife.
21:21And so it's a different level of motivation.
21:24I know I've experienced it.
21:27Game time, right?
21:29Game time.
21:30No more games.
21:31It's for real now.
21:33So now we got some questions for everybody.
21:35We can jump in.
21:35First off, what is one myth about black men and black fathers that you hope to debunk through your work and your deeds?
21:49Brett?
21:51Being active.
21:52Black fathers being active in the household.
21:55Like, we attest to that.
21:58Absolutely.
21:59I mean, we're doing that.
22:01Like, we're going to be active in our household.
22:03We're going to be active in our kids' life.
22:04But, like, I think that's the myth I would love to debunk.
22:08Like, we're really doing this.
22:10For sure.
22:11You know what I'm saying?
22:11We're really doing that.
22:12We're living testament that we're really doing that.
22:15We're in our kids' life.
22:16So just being active.
22:19Active fathers, y'all.
22:21Active fathers, y'all.
22:22Come on now.
22:24In our kids' lives.
22:27Right?
22:27All right.
22:28Anybody else?
22:29I mean, it's the same.
22:30I mean, my circle of men who have children, I mean, they're all the best fathers.
22:36You know what I mean?
22:37Like, I don't even know where it came from because, like, my father and my mom had been
22:44together for 46 years before my dad passed.
22:46Oh, wow.
22:47And, I mean, that's all I know.
22:48You know, we take care of our kids.
22:50We take care of our own.
22:51You know what I mean?
22:51And that's how I was raised.
22:52That's how my whole circle, that's how they move.
22:55You know?
22:55So, it is what it is.
22:5746 years?
22:58Yeah.
22:58Y'all, 46 years.
23:02That's amazing.
23:03Absolutely.
23:05Tyler, you got anything to add?
23:06Yeah, I would say, so what are some myths that come to mind when I think about black fathers?
23:15Okay, I would say that, you know, a big myth is that, you know, we're only strong, like,
23:20one way.
23:21When it's time to check something or when it's time to put something back in balance.
23:24You know what I mean?
23:25And, you know, when I'm listening to these brothers, a lot of my friends, you know, definitely
23:30with myself, you know, we dispel that myth because, you know, there's definitely a sense
23:36of, you know, vulnerability that we bring along with the virility or strength or manliness,
23:43whatever you want to call that.
23:43You see what I'm saying?
23:44So, it's like to be strong, you know, if your child comes undone and you just need to
23:49listen and be that type of strong.
23:51But then to balance it out with, you know, the strength that we all know that we have.
23:56You see what I'm saying?
23:57And I really do feel like it's that contrast, it's that juxtaposition that makes a real man.
24:04You see what I'm saying?
24:05It's not just one way.
24:06You see what I'm saying?
24:06Absolutely.
24:07Absolutely.
24:07Absolutely.
24:07Absolutely.
24:10So, I got a fun one coming up.
24:13So, who would you like to play your black father on a project, whether real or imaginary, and
24:26why?
24:28Anybody?
24:30Or has there, I'm going to modify that one.
24:33Or has there been a black father that you wish were your father, on screen, an on-screen
24:39black father that you are?
24:41I got to say Uncle Phil.
24:45Uncle Phil.
24:47Wait, new Uncle Phil or old Uncle Phil?
24:50The real one, the heavy one.
24:54That's the real Uncle Phil, though.
24:55Rest in peace, Uncle Phil.
24:56Rest in peace, rest in peace.
24:57Yes.
24:59I hope I don't get in trouble for this, but I'm going to say Cliff Huxtable.
25:04Cliff Huxtable.
25:05Cliff Huxtable was a great father.
25:07I didn't notice I said Cliff Huxtable.
25:08Right.
25:08But, I mean, that was everything for me watching that show, growing up with that show, because
25:14it showed, it was my family.
25:17Yeah.
25:17You know what I mean?
25:18Yeah.
25:18And it was a beautiful thing.
25:19So, I think he did well.
25:21And, yeah.
25:23I would say Cliff Huxtable.
25:25Red?
25:25Since Lance took mine, Furious Styles.
25:34Oh, you took mine.
25:36Furious Styles.
25:37Lawrence Fishburne.
25:39Boys in the Hood.
25:40Yeah, that's a good one.
25:41Yeah.
25:42Yeah, I'm looking at the shirt.
25:43That's exactly what I was thinking.
25:45Furious Styles.
25:46He was a dope father, yo.
25:47Like, kept it real.
25:49Yeah.
25:49You know, was there.
25:50You know, worked out the situation between him and his mother.
25:55But still was there for his son.
25:56Just being honest.
25:57He was just being honest.
25:57He was being honest.
25:58And that's what I want to do it, you know, even with my little girls.
26:03Like, I want to be honest with my girls.
26:06I want to get my girls in here.
26:08I want to ride in the car with them.
26:10This is what I did with my teenager.
26:12And I really let her listen to hip-hop music.
26:16And I tell her, this is how these little boys think.
26:19Right.
26:19Like, this is what's going on.
26:21This is how they think.
26:22Right.
26:23I be open with her.
26:24Let her know, okay, this is what it is.
26:26So, the realness that, you know, he brought in that movie, I love that.
26:31Definitely the real.
26:32And that's the cheat code, right?
26:34As a girl dad, you tell them what's real.
26:38You know, because, you know, these little boys are going to say what they're going to say to get what they want to get.
26:43But as brothers in your daughter's lives, like, giving them that real conversation is very important.
26:48So, absolutely.
26:50Yeah, fear styles, bro.
26:54So, we're going to close.
26:55Wait, did you give yours?
26:56Well, mine was picking.
26:57So, do I have to pick one?
26:58Yeah, you got to pick, bro.
27:01Oh, man.
27:01Uncle Phil is off the board.
27:06Furious Styles is off the board.
27:08Cliff Huxable is off the board.
27:10Man.
27:12Who?
27:15Denzel.
27:17Denzel in what role?
27:20I don't want training day.
27:22Denzel is my dad.
27:23Hold on.
27:23John Q.
27:24John Q.
27:25Oh, wait.
27:26No, no.
27:26It's called John Q, yeah.
27:27John Q, though.
27:28John Q, Denzel.
27:30Oh, yeah.
27:31Hey, Will Smith, Pursuit of Happiness.
27:34Now, yes.
27:36That's it.
27:36Yo, that's it.
27:37He wasn't, he said he was broke.
27:39He wasn't, did you watch it in the movie?
27:43I'll give y'all one.
27:46I'll give y'all one.
27:47Hold up.
27:48Calvin Payne.
27:49Calvin Payne.
27:50But you know what's funny, though?
27:59You take Curtis over Calvin?
28:03Hold up.
28:04That's a real tough love.
28:07Carl, Uncle Carl?
28:09That's Uncle Carl.
28:09Like, that's an uncle to me.
28:10That's a beautiful mention.
28:12But no, but you know what's funny about that, though?
28:14This is why what you brothers do is important.
28:19Because you see all these black fathers that are on television and movie screens that are
28:23being screamed out.
28:24So regardless of whether we have that example at home, and some people don't, you have it
28:30on the screen, I have my followers at home with me, but sometimes I go into Furious Styles
28:34mode.
28:35Sometimes I go into Huxville mode.
28:36Like, we've been coming up with all kinds of crazy stuff in the house to try to teach
28:39lessons that they don't know they're learning the lessons.
28:42So it is important to have that representation on screen, and it's great to have that conversation
28:45and just to see what that impact has had on not only us on this stage, but the people
28:49in the audience.
28:50So that's really, really dope.
28:51And I'm glad that this is the work that can be done to dispel some of those myths about
28:55black fathers.
28:56So we're going to close out with one last, a little bit more serious.
29:00You know, it's a lot going on in the world today, you know, between, you know, gun violence
29:07and racism and police violence and so forth.
29:11And I know a lot of us have younger kids.
29:13How do you have those conversations with your kids, and what do you think is important for
29:20them to understand at this point in their lives as you're having those conversations?
29:30I think, you know, I think regardless of what it is that we're talking about, I mean,
29:35this is my experience.
29:36I can never tell nobody what to do.
29:38I would say that, you know, the only way to get through it is to be direct about it.
29:44Right.
29:44You know what I'm saying?
29:45Like being passive about something that's difficult is only going to come back and hit
29:50harder later.
29:50And one thing I noticed is that, like, either you're going to give them the game or they're
29:55going to get it from somebody else.
29:57You know what I mean?
29:57It's like you don't want to have to learn or get it from the hard way.
30:00Like, you know, I had a situation when I was young.
30:03You know, I was just a knucklehead.
30:04I had to learn the hard way.
30:06Had my parents really disciplined me the way they should have, I wouldn't have had to learn
30:12the hard way.
30:12You know what I mean?
30:13So it's like, I go through that with my kids right now.
30:15So I just choose to be direct about it.
30:19You know, keep it real.
30:21Open and honest is the only way.
30:23Honestly.
30:24Reg, got anything to add?
30:26I mean, I agree.
30:27I think just being open and, you know, being honest and just having that relationship with
30:32your child because at some point they're going to go out in the world and, like, honestly,
30:38we all been there.
30:39We all know it like that friend influence is a mug, you know, no matter what you do as
30:45a parent, no matter what you, you know, whatever you do, that friend, that friend influence is
30:51a mug.
30:51So you want them to have that knowledge.
30:53You want them to have that foundation that you taught them.
30:56So when they do go out, you know, hopefully they make the right decision.
31:01Absolutely.
31:02Well, brothers, I'd like to thank you for joining me in his slash her zone today.
31:09Talk about black fathers and debunking some of these myths.
31:12It's been a pleasure talking with y'all.
31:14Man, thanks for having us.
31:15Thank you, guys.
31:16We appreciate y'all.
31:17Y'all enjoy the rest of the rest of the rest of the rest of the rest of the rest.
31:25Go ahead, DJ.
31:26Drop my shoulder.
31:26Hello, everyone.
31:27This stage is closed.
31:29May everybody please exit as soon as possible.
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