00:00okay you guys i have a question or maybe just a statement but um i was having a little bit
00:07of a difficult day today i kind of was starting to lose my cool a little bit and i just needed
00:13to come back to my place get myself an emergency matcha emergency mason matcha matchas in mason
00:23jars are just better for some reason i don't know anyways i made myself a matcha laid down
00:30shut out the world completely and like immediately i i'm i'm back to you know my nervous system calm
00:36down and this really is my favorite part of the day i love human beings but this part of the day
00:43where i come back home and wait wait i shut out the world i will have no more conversations today
00:53it's me my books you know what i'm saying my journal and what the stuff i choose to watch
01:00so my question is like how i have a question people who have kids or people who are married
01:09or something like that how do you decompress like this portion of my life i'm so afraid to give it up
01:17i'm so afraid to give up this portion of my life it's the reason i'm not married and i don't have
01:24kids yet i love this so much my little mason matcha i shut out the world i was having a moment i came
01:33back and i decompressed i don't want to hear another human speak for at least 18 hours when i decide to
01:41go back outside or something i don't want to have a conversation with anybody until i go back outside you
01:46know what i'm saying like this part of the day is so recharging for me and then i'm just like is this
01:53gonna change does that sound selfish but i don't know i need this i need this time where it's just
02:02nobody i have on my cozy pjs i've got i don't want to talk i don't want to hear anybody's voice
02:08i i don't want to i can't hear anybody's voice until i decide to go back outside tomorrow you know
02:13what i'm saying and i'm so scared to give this up how am i gonna do it when you know married and kids
02:20and all that what's gonna happen i'm gonna always need to be you know taking care of somebody or
02:29being around somebody or you know what i'm saying what's gonna happen i need my alone time at least
02:3510 hours a day i need my mary jane matcha journal time where i don't hear any human beings talking
02:43and no human beings are talking i'm not talking to anybody nobody's in my business i'm not in
02:46anybody's business and i'm being left the heck alone where is this gonna go i don't want it to
02:52go anywhere i'm not bashing marriage or kids i'm just saying i can't let this portion of my day go
02:59what's gonna happen
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