- 6 days ago
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00:00Today on Just The Dash, we are going to be making a pork neck, Szechuan, super hot, creamy, fatty, absolutely delicious ramen.
00:15One of the best ramens I've ever had in my life.
00:18It took me back to a place that I've never been before.
00:21Kikanabo had a pop-up at Slurp and it changed my life.
00:25And I contacted them and I said, can you tell me just how you kind of make it a little bit?
00:29And they said, no, Matty!
00:31No.
00:32I'm trying to make something from memory.
00:36Who doesn't love sweating and slurping and numbing out over a bowl of soup?
00:42Spice, huh?
00:43Do you love spice?
00:44No, keep one of mine, low spice.
00:46Low spice.
00:47Well, we start with a lot of spice, so...
00:50And I got stomach issues.
00:52Do you?
00:53Well, that's helpful.
00:54Thank you so much.
00:56Okay.
00:59We are going to be making one of the greatest, most flavorful ramens I've ever had in my life.
01:07I hope you're going to be doing a lot of the work.
01:09I am, because you don't have any arms, Sheldon!
01:12Yeah, I don't even have much of a brain.
01:14We're even-steven on that one.
01:17Um, first thing we're going to do, though, is we're going to make the pork neck stock.
01:22Oh, boy!
01:23This is one of the most, I believe, flavorful pieces of the pig.
01:28I have just some beautiful chicken stock here.
01:31Oh.
01:32I know the chickens.
01:33Mom juice.
01:34This is like your milk, right?
01:36Yep.
01:36Yep, that's mom's juice.
01:38I do want to add some really nice soy sauce to this, though.
01:42We're going to add about a half a cup right now.
01:44One stock of celery.
01:46That's-
01:46Just a little.
01:47Just a-
01:48Do you like singing?
01:49If you want me to sing, you don't have to beg.
01:53I'm that kind of showbiz egg.
01:58I like that.
01:59Sheldon, we're going to get along swimmingly.
02:01I think our revolution is going to be very powerful, Matty.
02:04I mean, you're just so good at cooking, and I'm so good at changing the world.
02:11It's always amazing when you meet somebody that kind of thinks the same way as you, you know?
02:16I sure am honored to be here with Matty Matheson.
02:20Well, you don't have to say the full name every time, but-
02:22Oh, okay.
02:23It's kind of my thing, I do.
02:25Yes, Matty and I have a lot in common.
02:27China's just over there.
02:29Australia, over there.
02:32I like eating eggs.
02:33You don't because you're an egg.
02:34But guess where we landed?
02:36On the truth.
02:39Matty is a terrific guy.
02:41You're a lot more helpful than Michelle, and you literally don't even physically do anything.
02:47On the surface.
02:50What makes you say that?
02:52The way he looks at me.
02:55It's not like, hi, you're my sidekick.
02:58It's kind of like, hi, I'm kind of hungry.
03:02I think there's two sides of you, Matty Matheson.
03:04You're just an egg killer.
03:08I got a boiler on me, and I eat boilers to get rid of my boiler.
03:12That's the feeling I'm getting.
03:16We're gonna skim the scum.
03:20And where does the scum go?
03:21We're gonna pour it down the toilet.
03:24Let it get into politics.
03:27Yeah.
03:28You wanna get, what?
03:29The scum.
03:30I'm trying to find a place to put the scum.
03:32Okay, Sheldon, let's just, you know, let's just relax, and we're gonna, we're just skimming
03:37the scum right now, okay?
03:38Getting rid of all those impurities.
03:41Rid of the impurities.
03:42Scum floats to the top.
03:45But Matty, he scrapes it off.
03:49Guess who's at the top.
03:52Trudeau.
03:53I can't get something.
03:59Okay.
03:59Long enough have we been treated like little things that you can crack over anything.
04:07Long enough have we'd appeared in your soups and your omelets and your scum.
04:12Sheldon.
04:13What?
04:14Just relax.
04:15We're making a cooking video.
04:17I'm happy about that.
04:18It's yummy.
04:21Okay.
04:21It's really yummy.
04:23It's just, wow.
04:24I don't know if he thought the joke was, I don't think he thought it was a joke.
04:29Life gets a little bit heavy sometimes, doesn't it, Sheldon?
04:31Yeah, you're amazing, Matty.
04:32I don't know if I'm just doing it to save my life.
04:35At any moment, life can happen, good or bad.
04:41But it looks like he has the same kind of dreams I do.
04:44You're amazing.
04:46Well, thank you, thank you.
04:47I didn't kidnap him.
04:49He came along.
04:51He came along.
04:52He got in the RV.
04:54We've skimmed enough scum over here, and we've gotten rid of all of those bad ideas.
05:00And now...
05:01We've cleared them out for the pure ideas.
05:04And it just kind of keeps coming up.
05:06And now we'll present the purity.
05:09I'm scared.
05:10Are we starting a cult, Matty?
05:12No, we aren't.
05:17We're making a cooking show, Sheldon.
05:19We can't let everyone know what we really think.
05:23Okay, fine.
05:24We keep our big ideas to ourselves, okay?
05:26Okay.
05:28We have beautiful leek, and we're going to just add that into our stock.
05:33Some beautiful carrots.
05:35Skin on, no problem.
05:36I was kind of egging on old Sheldon, seeing, you know, if I could break them.
05:41Celery and some green onions.
05:44You know what, Matty?
05:45Some ginger.
05:46Yes.
05:47If we start this cult, we get the most sex.
05:51Sheldon, we're making a cooking video.
05:53I'm ecstatic about the dish.
05:56Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
05:59I don't know.
06:00Maybe the egg was a Hollywood plan.
06:02Maybe he was testing me.
06:07Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
06:08Hey!
06:09So how's the necks coming along?
06:14This show is about patience.
06:18It's about relax.
06:21Oh, yeah!
06:23I don't know how, like, life things happen.
06:25And cooking takes time.
06:27Sheldon!
06:31Sheldon!
06:38I have you.
06:41There you go.
06:42Hi.
06:43Hi.
06:45Hi.
06:46Oh.
06:47I'm never going to turn my back on you again.
06:50Sheldon.
06:52Are you okay?
06:53What?
06:53Who are you again?
06:58I'm Matty.
07:00I don't know who I am anymore.
07:02And you.
07:03We're best friends.
07:03We're making ramen.
07:04Ramen, okay.
07:06Are you the chef?
07:08I'm a chef, yeah.
07:10Every ramen special.
07:13The first thing we're going to do, we...
07:15That's my show.
07:16We just have to start by making the marinade.
07:20Wow.
07:20And we're going to just add some soy sauce.
07:22And make sure you get some, like, good soy sauce, okay?
07:25Get the good stuff.
07:26Sake.
07:26Do you guys like sake?
07:27Sure.
07:28It's a little something to take the edge off.
07:29Yeah, that's nice.
07:31Really nice mirin.
07:32Going to counterbalance the soy.
07:34And then add water.
07:36Poor souls.
07:37Wow.
07:38Put it in the fridge.
07:39I'd like to meet those guys.
07:41I'm sure you would.
07:42For 24 hours.
07:44Easy.
07:44I'm going to make a really nice spicy hot oil.
07:48Are you from Kensington Market?
07:49I used to work in Kensington Market.
07:52And you punched the car at windows.
07:54Sheldon.
07:55What?
07:55That was a story I told you in privacy.
07:58Oh.
07:59Okay.
08:00Seems like you've got some things to confront, my friend.
08:02I'm confronting.
08:03We're confronting.
08:04We're very...
08:05I'm quickly confronting.
08:06Yeah.
08:06We have some beautiful Szechuan peppercorns, okay?
08:08How about that?
08:09Szechuan peppercorns.
08:10Half of the togarashi and put it in.
08:12Distract with the sadism of spice.
08:15Absolutely.
08:15We're going to take half our white pepper, cayenne, and then we're going to take our hot
08:20chicken fat.
08:22I love new friendships.
08:24Oh.
08:25Yeah, I've never really met anyone else except that little soft bastard on the end of the
08:30kitchen block.
08:30Well, why are you hitting on him?
08:32What's the matter?
08:32That's not nice.
08:34I guess I'm just a little jealous.
08:36He's got a really good body.
08:38Hey, everyone looks perfect.
08:41There is not one body type in this world.
08:43You look beautiful.
08:45You look beautiful.
08:47I feel like you have a little more intelligence than that guy, so...
08:50I guess it all evens out at the end of the day.
08:52Wait, what?
08:52What?
08:59All those people, come on.
09:03Come and try Maddie's ramen.
09:10That's my shell.
09:11I have a cousin named Michelle.
09:14You do?
09:15I'm going to cook this again.
09:17She's a real bitch.
09:18Oh.
09:19Cooking up a storm.
09:22We're going to cook this again, and what I'm going to do is you can go buy these dashi
09:27packs.
09:27They have a bunch of bonito in them.
09:29A lot of umami.
09:30A lot of umame.
09:32A lot of umami.
09:32What's an umama?
09:34It's like a really deep flavor.
09:37Yum.
09:37You really know what you're doing there, pal.
09:39A little bit.
09:40Like, I'm just trying to make something, like I'm trying to make something from memory.
09:43You know?
09:44Memories are powerful, aren't they?
09:46They are.
09:47Yeah.
09:47My best memories are here.
09:49Making just a dash.
09:51Aw.
09:51With my friends.
09:52Aw.
09:53With all of my really close friends.
09:55Like us?
09:55Andy, smile when I say friends and look at you.
10:01Thank you very much, Andy.
10:03Do you need visine?
10:03Your eyes look a little...
10:06Uh.
10:07Yeah, I kind of feel a little skinless.
10:09Yeah.
10:11Empty.
10:12Lost.
10:13I don't know who I am anymore.
10:16No, he's just been smoking pot.
10:18I never.
10:18Can we go to lunch?
10:19Now's a perfect time to go to lunch.
10:21Yeah!
10:21Give me some.
10:23Did you guys eat?
10:23It was the first time for everything.
10:25Okay.
10:25What did we get?
10:26Slovakie?
10:27Oh yeah, Slovakie.
10:28Did you know Ricky doesn't even know what chicken Slovakie is?
10:30What a ding dong.
10:32Exactly.
10:32Yeah.
10:33That's what I was thinking.
10:34Who doesn't know what a Slovakie is?
10:36But it's...
10:36How do you say it?
10:37You don't know what it is.
10:37You've never heard it.
10:38Do you call it...
10:39You've never seen it.
10:40Do you call it Slovakie?
10:42Yeah.
10:42Su...
10:43Slovakie.
10:45That's worse than not knowing.
10:47You call it Slovakie?
10:48Slovakie.
10:49It's a skewer.
10:51Yeah.
10:52It's a whole nation of flavor.
10:54Bit of a hostile work environment, if you ask me.
10:57Well, let's just keep it down.
11:00What's next, Rick?
11:02Haven't heard of fucking...
11:04What?
11:04Chicken wings?
11:05I want chunkies.
11:07And we want big chunks.
11:09So we're just going to use our hands and kind of rip off big, beautiful chunks of molten chunkies.
11:17Succulent chunks of amazing chunkies.
11:20And we want...
11:21Daddy.
11:21Daddy.
11:22I'm kind of bothered.
11:23I can't remember anything.
11:25Do you have anything to help me remember?
11:27What do you mean?
11:27Like, how do we remember?
11:29Well, my ball cap.
11:30Are you missing your ball cap?
11:33It must have fallen off when I tried to save you.
11:36Oh.
11:38Here it is.
11:39It's coming back to me.
11:43Me too.
11:44It's coming back.
11:47Hey, Tort.
11:48Hey.
11:48Just before we do this interview, I want to kind of drop, like, the cult part.
11:52I know we've gone into it a little bit.
11:55Uh-oh.
11:56It's going to be okay.
11:59Wait a minute.
12:01We were talking about cults.
12:03Well, no.
12:05We were talking about ramen.
12:06We were talking about the truth.
12:09Well, the truth is always up to the perception of reality.
12:14We had a plan, Matty.
12:15Well, we were talking about devious sexual acts involving eggs.
12:20Yeah.
12:21No, we...
12:21It was a little bit, but that was kind of more you, Sheldon.
12:26I was just talking about my ramen I loved.
12:29You fucking did this to me!
12:30Yeah.
12:31It's a bit intense.
12:33What do you guys want to do, then?
12:35Talk me through it.
12:36We'll have deviled egg worship.
12:39Yeah.
12:40Yes, we'll worship the deviled.
12:42And a total moratorium on eating eggs.
12:46Mm-hmm.
12:47And expose the truth that everybody needs to know.
12:50Yeah.
12:51It's flat.
12:52Okay.
12:53But you're not going to hurt anybody, are you?
12:55No.
12:56No, no.
12:57No.
12:57Just have sex with them.
12:59Yeah.
13:00Monogamy out the window.
13:01That's all we have so far.
13:03That's all you need.
13:03Maybe you can just be nice and have sex with a lot of people.
13:07You don't have to start a cult.
13:09But how will we get them to stop eating eggs without the power?
13:12That's a different show.
13:14Oh, okay.
13:15Okay.
13:16Can I make a little marinade to put on my pork neck?
13:18Oh, yeah.
13:19Oh, yeah.
13:19By all means.
13:20Don't let us just stop you.
13:21So we're going to take some togarashi pepper.
13:24Then we're going to add just a little bit of soy sauce.
13:27Mm-hmm.
13:28We're going to add some mirin.
13:30Balance it out.
13:30A little sweetness.
13:32We're going to do a splash of rice wine vinegar.
13:34That was two splashes, but okay.
13:36We'll do two splashes.
13:38A little bit of oil.
13:38Well, I don't know if you guys know this.
13:40I'm pretty popular.
13:42Ooh.
13:43Also, people listen to famous people.
13:47Ooh.
13:49A lot of people are going to see this video and then be a part of your friend circle.
13:54Okay.
13:55Okay.
13:55Okay.
13:57A lot of sex is tiring, isn't it?
13:59I just got to lay there.
14:01Ah, fuck.
14:01Oh.
14:02Jesus.
14:02And it's all going to happen on your farm.
14:06I know that Trisha was upset about us even trying to shoot a cooking show there, but
14:11I'm thinking, if I pitch her a celestial egg-fucking volcano ramen bowl, you guys can go to
14:23the farm, get kind of comfy, hanging out, maybe just at some coffee shops, old bookstores,
14:28just being like, you know, people walk by and you're like, hey, what are you guys doing?
14:34You need some meaning in your life?
14:35You seem a little lost.
14:38Let us come and feed you.
14:41Let us come inside of you.
14:46Who do you think's going to go to prison?
14:48A couple puppets or you?
14:52We can't go to prison for his sex ed cult.
14:55And now I'm going to take our Szechuan Togarashi chili oil.
15:07I'm going to put two big scoops of that in there first.
15:11Maddie, where does baby corn come from?
15:13This is baby.
15:14Mommy corn and a daddy corn love each other very much.
15:18Well, no, this is a plant.
15:20This is a vegetable, guys.
15:21This is different than you.
15:23Oh.
15:25Yeah.
15:26And also, chickens just have eggs without...
15:29They don't have to have sex to have an egg, right?
15:32It's true.
15:32We have nothing to do with the process.
15:34Yeah.
15:34I think that's why you guys are so caught up with all this sex stuff.
15:38Yeah.
15:41Yeah.
15:42Mm-hmm.
15:43Are you guys attracted to chickens?
15:44If it's a chicken that you didn't come out of, then it's not technically...
15:50Okay.
15:51You know, wrong.
15:51I mean, it's a gray area.
15:53I'm so excited for everyone.
15:55And actually, I think I want to join the egg cult.
15:58What?
15:59I love sex and chickens.
16:02Oh, yeah.
16:02And flat things.
16:07We have some beautiful, fresh ramen noodles.
16:10What are the ramen noodles?
16:12Ramen noodles?
16:13They're these beautiful...
16:15Okay.
16:16What's the one thing that makes them ramen noodles that give them the bounce?
16:20Well, the baking soda turns into sodium carbonate, and it creates an alkaline.
16:26Do I have two bowls?
16:27Yeah.
16:28Down below you, there's a bunch of ceramic bowls you can use.
16:30Like these?
16:31Yeah.
16:31Eye water.
16:34Huh?
16:34Lye water.
16:36Lye.
16:37Lye.
16:37Do we have any ramen bowls we planned for?
16:39I'm not on props.
16:41Okay?
16:41I'm a food person.
16:43Okay.
16:44And you know, this year we had budget for a production center.
16:48A ramen bowl?
16:48It all went to the eggs.
16:50Yeah, it went to the eggs, didn't it, guys?
16:52It all went to the eggs.
16:55I'm talking right now through a glass aquarium with toilet water because we spent so much money on the puppets.
17:05You know what we have for lunch every day?
17:06S-L-E-U-V-A-K-Slovakie.
17:11I'm almost done, and everyone's going to be able to get on with their day.
17:17We're going to be able to promote the egg.
17:19What is it called again?
17:20Lye.
17:21The new Faberge.
17:23The new Faberge.
17:24Enough with your lies.
17:26I don't have, there's no, exactly.
17:28We use truth water.
17:30With pure eggs.
17:32With beautiful soy eggs.
17:34Oh, yeah.
17:36Just waiting for this water to boil, everyone.
17:38Delicious.
17:38Food memory is one of those things.
17:44This is spicy.
17:49Can you put the bowl a little more in the middle?
17:51More in the middle.
17:52Perfect, thank you.
17:53Okay, now we're making fucking Terrence Malick films.
17:56Everyone's got 16 lenses, but I ain't got a ramen bowl.
17:59Clearly the mask has fallen off.
18:02I'm a little disappointed to see he's a tyrant amongst his staff.
18:04Let me rethink his involvement in the cult a little bit.
18:07Yeah, but we need a tyrant.
18:08Yeah, we need to land.
18:10I'm not a tyrant, guys.
18:11We need to land.
18:11There's just a couple things that happen continuously on this show.
18:14Continuously.
18:16Holy shit.
18:17We like fun-loving Maddie.
18:19I am fun-loving Maddie.
18:20Hey, how you doing?
18:22Yeah.
18:22I remember the cult now.
18:24This isn't the Maddie I knew and loved.
18:27What happened?
18:29Then you just take, this is, I'm trying to have my food memories, guys.
18:32Trying to have my food memories, and you take a big pile of the coriander.
18:36Big pile, look at that.
18:38Look at that.
18:39Wow.
18:39That's an awful lot.
18:41You garnish with a little couple beautiful little corns.
18:44I'm trying to have a nice day with me.
18:46This is nice for me.
18:48This is nice for me and my friendship.
18:50Hey.
18:50I don't know.
18:51Do puppets act like you eat?
18:52We kind of lost our appetite.
18:53I don't know about all this.
18:55I'm getting tense around here.
18:56Well, no, it's not.
18:57It's fine.
18:58Everything's fine.
18:59It's nice.
18:59This is actually normal, guys.
19:00This is normal.
19:01Oh, this is how every episode ends.
19:03What do you mean?
19:04And begins.
19:05It's in the noodle pool.
19:08Oh, yeah.
19:10I'm trying to be happy.
19:12I'm just walking through a land minefield all day.
19:15Is he talking about us all right now?
19:18I don't know.
19:20It's so spicy.
19:21The egg.
19:22The egg.
19:23What about it?
19:23What about it?
19:24I can't watch.
19:29Isn't that beautiful?
19:35Mmm.
19:36Oh, my God.
19:38Oh, my God.
19:41Oh, my God.
19:52Oh, wow.
19:53Oh, I can't feel my lips.
19:58Nothing like a sesh with this.
20:00This is so spicy.
20:01You okay?
20:02And that's just a dash.
20:09This is the kind of medical that we'll provide at the cult.
20:13You think we'll have medical?
20:15For sure.
20:16Will we have medical?
20:18Oh, yeah.
20:19For sure.
20:20All those STDs.
20:21No, STDs.
20:24Eggs don't have STDs.
20:25No need for doctors, then.
20:26I want to be a cult leader.
20:39I'm going to make you a believer.
20:43Follow me.
20:45Follow me.
20:47Give me your money and all of your power.
20:52I'll be the priestess up in the tower.
20:57Follow me.
20:59Follow me.
20:59I'll be the priestess up in the tower.
21:00I'll be the priestess up in the tower.
21:01I'll be the priestess up in the tower.
21:01I'll be the priestess up in the tower.
21:02I'll be the priestess up in the tower.
21:02I'll be the priestess up in the tower.
21:03I'll be the priestess up in the tower.
21:04I'll be the priestess up in the tower.
21:05I'll be the priestess up in the tower.
21:06I'll be the priestess up in the tower.
21:07I'll be the priestess up in the tower.
21:08I'll be the priestess up in the tower.
21:09I'll be the priestess up in the tower.
21:10I'll be the priestess up in the tower.
21:11I'll be the priestess up in the tower.
21:12I'll be the priestess up in the tower.
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