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00:00Previously on suddenly Amish I will be in
00:05inviting English people into our community in hopes of repopulating the church.
00:10I feel like this is where God wants me to be.
00:12I've chosen my brother Alan and his wife Sarah.
00:15To help the English.
00:16It is our responsibility to teach them what's right.
00:20I've also asked Emma and James to help.
00:25It is a risky endeavor for all of us.
00:27There's always the chance that these English might destroy.
00:30The end of the month we will have a day of reckoning and whether they can continue.
00:35It's pursuing membership.
00:36I don't think it's going to be easy for any of us.
00:41There's so many animals up here.
00:42Sleep!
00:43Sleep!
00:44Stop, no!
00:45Wow, look at that nice Amish farmer we got here.
00:48I think there's something going on with Kendra.
00:50If the opportunity presents itself, maybe.
00:53You wanted to join the Amish cult.
00:55But you don't want to give up your nails.
00:57We could have a check-in in like a week.
00:59Seven days to check.
01:00I haven't changed yet.
01:01They're not as accepting as I thought they were going to be.
01:04My hearing aids are...
01:05controlled by this.
01:06But James took my phone.
01:08Any of you married?
01:10Divorced.
01:11I heard you're divorced trying to join the Amish?
01:14Yeah.
01:15I am escorting you off the property.
01:17He's chasing me with a f***ing axe.
01:19Go!
01:20The rest of these English people will definitely know that they better don't lie.
01:24James is a psycho.
01:25Oh, honey.
01:26Mm-hmm.
01:27And what happens within the likes of the game?
01:30You're the only one!
01:30Oh
01:35Oh
01:40Oh
01:45Oh
01:50Oh
01:55Oh
02:00I'm not sure
02:03why
02:04I'm not sure why
02:04I'm not sure why
02:05I'm not sure why
02:05my divorce is being held against me so much.
02:07I would like them to forgive it and just.
02:10Bring me into the community.
02:12If I wanted people to judge me all the time.
02:15I didn't need to come here for it.
02:17If this is the way it's going to be, then this community is not for me.
02:20I don't know.
02:25It's not for me.
02:30Guys.
02:31Later.
02:35I'm leaving.
02:40Serious.
02:41Yeah.
02:42I feel really connected.
02:45See you guys and I've had a really great experience with all of y'all.
02:50I am struggling with Matt leaving.
02:55James driving Matt off.
02:57He should not have the ax in his hand.
03:00I told you to leave.
03:01Go.
03:02That gives Matt a very nasty picture.
03:05Of the Amish way of life.
03:08James does have the authority.
03:10To chase Matt off his property.
03:13But he cannot kick him out of the church.
03:15Or the community without the bishop and the church consent.
03:19I was kind of.
03:20Hoping Matt would stay.
03:21I feel like.
03:25Matt is like genuinely a person that I would want in my life forever.
03:29He's just such a genuine person.
03:30I'm just sad because when you're with him.
03:33Pretty much your whole day and most.
03:35Of your night and then you share a lot of personal stuff.
03:38You get really close.
03:41With Matt leaving.
03:43It's.
03:44It sucks for.
03:45Kondra because I thought there was a little something brewing.
03:48With the two of them.
03:49I think that.
03:50Her crushing on him.
03:52And him saying goodbye.
03:53Is kind of like.
03:54Well.
03:55Kendra.
03:56Yeah.
03:57That's not going to happen either.
03:58Oh.
03:59Well I'm going to see.
04:00Well.
04:01Yeah.
04:02Me too.
04:03Yeah.
04:04Me too.
04:05Yeah.
04:06Yeah.
04:07Yeah.
04:08Yeah.
04:09Yeah.
04:10Yeah.
04:10Yeah.
04:11Yeah.
04:12Yeah.
04:13Yeah.
04:14Yeah.
04:15Yeah.
04:16Yeah.
04:17Yeah.
04:18Yeah.
04:19Yeah.
04:21You know I felt like I had such a great connection with someone in such a short amount of
04:24time and then it's just.
04:25I'm just like, okay, what's happening now?
04:27It's so freaking sad.
04:30Yeah.
04:35I don't need to know what caused this divorce.
04:37I just know that he wasn't fully transparent and...
04:40I want him going.
04:42I kind of have a feeling that I might be hiding a lot of stuff.
04:45There might even be some darkness.
04:47I came here to protect and grow the community.
04:50Sarah and Alan are from a more liberal sect.
04:54I wanted to make sure...
04:55we're on the same page with the rules.
04:57If I'm not strict enough, I might be the one...
05:00paying the price.
05:05Where did Kendra go?
05:07Are you okay?
05:10I am really scared right now because this is...
05:15my dream and I don't have much of a filter so I'm...
05:20I'm so scared that I'm going to say something.
05:22I mean, if Matt's divorce is getting...
05:25kicked off the farm, maybe I've done something in the past that they don't approve of.
05:30And that's it. That's over for me.
05:31And that's scary that I could lose everything.
05:35Ready?
05:35Ready?
05:36This is how I watched me.
05:39protective equipment.
05:40If you ever have straps on your panel, I have times a types of pins.
05:42It's how I think they lay SWUT right in front of you.
05:45You know, what's your suit right?
06:01If you'd find you, you won they don't rock out.
06:04Like, do you feel super strongly about divorce?
06:07You know, if...
06:09If somebody marries me, they're not going to be able to divorce me, like, ever.
06:14It definitely sounds like there's no prenups here.
06:16So, since there's no divorce, like, that's not allowed, I...
06:19I guess, like, the only option is to kill my husband if I want another one.
06:22As far as Matt staying...
06:24I personally would have rather save one soul than lose two.
06:29Yeah.
06:30You know what I mean?
06:31Yeah.
06:34I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed because...
06:39I'm so used to living a certain way that I'm coming here and it's completely different.
06:43So, it's a lot...
06:44It's, like, hard.
06:45It's a lot.
06:46It's, like, hard.
06:49It feels like chill.
06:54It's...
06:54It's a little dramatic that Kendra is so, you know, devastated.
06:59Maybe now she's feeling like, oh, fun's over.
07:01Now I really have to just focus on...
07:04Living Amish and not, like, trying to impress Matt.
07:09...
07:14So how are you feeling?
07:18Kendra's upset
07:19She just feels totally disconnected
07:22To her it's just
07:24Not making sense right now
07:26You'll make it, I believe in you
07:28Yeah
07:29Well
07:31You don't need anything
07:33No
07:34Sarah's right behind you
07:37Come Sparks
07:38Oh, Sparky, come on
07:39It's raining
07:44Come Sparks
07:47Oh
07:48That's
07:49This video's very nice
07:54Oh
07:56As I'm like literally at peak breakdown
07:58I notice
07:59It's starting to rain outside
08:00And I felt like that was God telling me like
08:02Release
08:03Like I feel like the Holy Spirit
08:04Is trying to cleanse me
08:05Because obviously
08:06I feel like I'm like wild
08:07Compared to how they live
08:09Oh, this is nice
08:14Like Kendra's a hot mess train wreck
08:16Kendra is having a breakdown
08:19She's delicate in that way
08:21She really was struggling
08:23And I'm
08:24Kind of confused myself
08:25Right now
08:26I'm not sure what I should do
08:27Or what I should not do
08:29Oh
08:30Oh
08:34Oh
08:35Oh
08:36Oh
08:37Oh
08:38Oh
08:39They don't understand
08:43They don't understand
08:44What
08:45They don't hear anything
08:46They're like
08:47Oh
08:48You'll be fine
08:49You'll be fine
08:49I wish the Obis community understood
08:50That
08:51When you take away the hearing aids
08:52That
08:53It
08:54Good
08:56And
08:57My
08:58I
08:59Really
09:00I
09:01They
09:02I
09:03I
09:04I
09:05I
09:07I
09:08I
09:08I
09:10I
09:13who
09:16I
09:17I
09:18I
09:19I
09:19I
09:22I
09:24I'm a person that
09:29tries to be as disciplined as possible and I've learned to
09:34use exercise as a coping mechanism.
09:39If my actions are not in alignment...
09:44they get put back in alignment.
09:46Simple as that.
09:49Not having my hearing aids, I'm going to look at it as an empowerment.
09:55Because you can finally go,
09:56okay, I accept that I can't control this and you just...
09:59you live.
10:01I want to be Amish.
10:05And I think I'm strong.
10:07Strong enough to do this.
10:29Oh my god, what is that sound?
10:32Mm-hmm.
10:37Oh my god, eugh.
10:40We have bats.
10:42What the ?
10:43Oh my god.
10:45Ah, they're like .
10:47Chirping, flying rodents.
10:49They're just flying around making all types of noises.
10:52No.
10:53Alan.
10:54Alan.
10:55Alan.
10:56Alan.
10:57Alan.
11:01Please find the bats.
11:04These are fugly rodents.
11:09Flying into my personal space.
11:13And sucking my blood.
11:15And sucking my blood.
11:18Alan.
11:19Alan.
11:20Alan.
11:21Alan.
11:22Alan.
11:23Alan.
11:24Alan.
11:25Alan.
11:26Alan.
11:27Alan.
11:28Alan.
11:29Alan.
11:30Alan.
11:31Alan.
11:32Alan.
11:33Alan.
11:34Alan.
11:35Alan.
11:36Alan.
11:37Alan.
11:38Alan.
11:39Alan.
11:40Alan.
11:41Alan.
11:42Alan.
11:44Alan.
11:45Alan.
11:46Alan.
11:47Alan.
11:48Alan.
11:49Alan.
11:50I'm kind of thinking that God might be trying to teach us.
11:52something, but I can't figure out what.
11:57There are times when God actually lets bad things happen.
12:02The bats being there, I think that was more...
12:07a prophecy, a schlechter prophecy.
12:12.
12:17Maybe God does not approve.
12:22of what we're doing with the English.
12:27We're gonna have to leave this house and find somewhere else.
12:32We're gonna have to leave this house.
12:37We're gonna have to leave this house.
12:42Oh my God!
12:46Hello, hello!
12:47Welcome!
12:48You ready for this?
12:49Yes!
12:50James offered to have...
12:52We're gonna have us come over to their house
12:54till we get our bat problem taken care of.
12:57Okay, it's gonna be fun.
13:00She said enthusiastically.
13:02She said.
13:03So fun.
13:05Yeah, like they saw one bat like...
13:07I think they'll be okay.
13:08They're not gonna die.
13:09No reason to move your whole house to our house.
13:12Like, for what?
13:13I think it's real creepy that they got bats in their ass.
13:15I never had bats.
13:17We had rats growing up in the projects.
13:20But bats, that's a whole different story.
13:22That's great diseases.
13:24They suck your blood.
13:25You know, you might turn into a...
13:27That's a whole campfire.
13:28That's a whole campfire.
13:31Mr.
13:32Dressor.
13:33We're gonna move in here.
13:34This bed is not gonna be here.
13:35Okay.
13:37Oh, .
13:38You good?
13:39Yeah.
13:42So we're having a peaceful, perfect day,
13:44minding our business on a farm when suddenly...
13:46Holy cow.
13:47There are people gonna live with us.
13:49It's...
13:50It's a lot.
13:52I wasn't there with what happened yesterday and stuff, but like...
13:57Are you being a little bit better at least?
13:59Like, are you...
14:00Are you okay?
14:01Are you okay?
14:02I feel like...
14:03Aw.
14:04This is a complete 180.
14:05This is a complete different way of living.
14:07Everything is different and they don't understand how hard it is for us.
14:11Usually...
14:12I would call my mom during tough times in my life, but there's no phones.
14:16I just wanted to...
14:17To do something that felt familiar.
14:18And that was call my mom.
14:22The way we have been, the way I was thinking...
14:24No.
14:25We are doing better at the table and the way we have to...
14:26No!
14:27The way we have to...
14:29No!
14:30You need help!
14:31No!
14:33My mom wants to do something more...
14:35No!
14:36It's also...
14:37What's the time we need?
14:38No!
14:39No.
14:40No!
14:41No!
14:42No!
14:43No!
14:44No!
14:45No!
14:46No!
14:47No!
14:48No!
14:49No!
14:50No!
14:51to look forward to because it's always just the same thing
14:54over and over and over.
14:56I think we're cleaning chairs for three hours.
15:01What is this?
15:03We got a saw, bricks, everything.
15:06Every single day.
15:07Wake up and do chores again.
15:09These Amish people don't take no breaks.
15:11We're getting ready to build you the way to call your loved ones.
15:16Oh, I'm not mad about that.
15:17Let's go.
15:19We are going to be building a phone shed.
15:21Let's go.
15:22Let's go.
15:23Let's go.
15:24Let's go.
15:25Let's go.
15:26Phone Shanty is a small building with a landlord.
15:31phone.
15:32We don't have electricity, so we're using a 12-volt battery.
15:35It's position.
15:36It's position quite a ways from the house.
15:38That way, people spend less time on the phone.
15:42Phone Shanty's are used as little as possible.
15:45It can cause a distraction.
15:46From things that actually matter, like serving the Lord, helping others.
15:51This is your first time using handsaw?
15:55Can you too?
15:56Let's go.
15:57Let's go.
15:58Let's go.
15:59This is my saw virginity.
16:01I'm losing it.
16:02I'm losing it.
16:07This is embarrassing, bro.
16:08Here, here, here.
16:09So you're not putting much pressure on it.
16:10You're just sliding it.
16:11Oh, okay, okay.
16:12So, you know, try to stay on the line if possible.
16:15Back home, my family...
16:16Everyone knows I'm not really a handyman because in city life, that's not how I was.
16:22Raised.
16:24Yeah, let's go.
16:26James, he's getting it.
16:27Nice.
16:30I grew up with toes like this.
16:31It's just interesting to me that somebody Judah's age never touched a handsaw before.
16:36Uh-oh, you're almost there.
16:37Yeah, almost there.
16:38Give that a couple of pushes.
16:39Oh!
16:40Yes, move!
16:41I chopped my first hacksaw.
16:42I chopped my first wood.
16:43Yeah, baby!
16:46Good job.
16:47Yeah.
16:48Ten more boards to go.
16:51I feel like I'm kind of spiraling.
16:56Right now, like literally all I want to do is talk to my mom.
16:58So I have no other thought in my brain other than talking to...
17:01My mom.
17:02I heard Alan saying that they were building a phone shandy.
17:06So immediately in my mind, I'm like, that's how I talk to my mom.
17:12Hi.
17:13Well, hello.
17:14Yo, what's up?
17:15Um, I'm having...
17:16I'm having an emotional day.
17:17Sorry.
17:18Um, can I talk to you a little bit?
17:21Sure.
17:22Sixteen tenters.
17:23Yeah.
17:26Okay.
17:27So here's what's happening.
17:29I vaguely remember...
17:31Sarah and Alan saying that you have phones here.
17:36I am struggling really bad right now I like I haven't
17:41been able to sleep just because I have so much anxiety like not being able to talk to my mom because
17:46I'm used to calling her like a lot yeah it can be tough not seeing love
17:51ones definitely yeah like
17:56you know obviously I'm trying to go with like the Amish way of living I chose
18:01this is for a reason but I'm really struggling like I've been trying to stay positive but
18:06it's like every day just gets like worse and worse
18:11I don't want them to hear I don't want Kenner to leave
18:16but I saw how much it was affecting her not being able to talk to her mom like I
18:21just want to hear her voice you know just something
18:24right right
18:26I see where you're coming from definitely you love your mom and you haven't been able
18:30to talk to her
18:31so I feel like I've been like very open and like really trying
18:36and I wasn't expecting this to be honest
18:39right didn't see it coming
18:40yeah
18:41you keep saying family is so important family is so important and I'm like okay then I'm telling you
18:46like I'm a mom like let me call her for even a minute
18:50well
18:51we don't have a phone here yet we are building a phone chanty
18:56not sure yet when everything will be done but I guess once it's done
19:01we would let you use the phone chanty
19:06so
19:11oh
19:11Are you going to be okay?
19:14No?
19:15I want to go home.
19:16If I see people struggling...
19:21...it pains me too.
19:24I definitely have a soft spot for kids.
19:26I love you, Kendra.
19:31Yeah, we don't have phones here.
19:35I was...
19:36...put in the band for having a phone.
19:41Hey, Kendra. Kendra.
19:44I don't want to do this anymore.
19:46I don't want to do that anymore.
19:47I'll talk to you later.
19:48I'll talk to you later.
19:50I'll talk to you later.
19:51I want to go home.
19:56Kendra, I don't want you to go home.
20:01I just need to run off on us.
20:06So, I've been put in the band for having a phone.
20:11Okay.
20:13I have one here.
20:16I'll let you call your mom with it.
20:21We don't have the phone shanty built yet, but I still do have the phone I was shunned.
20:26So, I decided to let Kendra use my phone.
20:31It's kind of...
20:36It's kind of a dangerous thing.
20:37I don't really want them to know I have a phone because I am trying to teach them.
20:42The Amish way.
20:43I'm trying to be strict.
20:44She probably won't answer because...
20:46Unknown number.
20:47Unknown number.
20:48Let's see.
20:51We've already lost Matt.
20:52We can't lose Kendra too.
20:56Hello.
20:57Hello.
21:01Hello.
21:02Um...
21:03What are you doing?
21:04What are you doing?
21:06Dude.
21:07No!
21:08No!
21:09No!
21:10No!
21:11I'm sorry.
21:15I said I can't.
21:16I can't talk for that long, I'm not supposed to be on the phone, but I just, I miss you.
21:21Thank you guys so much.
21:26Like, it's a whole different culture thing because if you talk on the phone, you get shot.
21:31Like, you get kicked out and it's, it's hard because it's like, they talk about.
21:36How much family is, like, how much, like, family is important, but I'm.
21:41Like, my mom is my family, but I have to go now.
21:46Because otherwise he's going to get in trouble and I'm going to get in trouble.
21:51God, I love you.
21:54Pray for me.
21:56Okay, I love you.
21:58Bye.
22:01Sorry, thank you so much.
22:05You're welcome.
22:06It's nice to see a different side of James because I'm.
22:11used to seeing him, like, now.
22:12And so the fact that he is opening up and allowing me to use the phone does.
22:16make it a little bit easier because I feel like he's working with me on, on the slow transition.
22:20I won't.
22:21I won't say anything.
22:21Deal.
22:22Okay, thank you so much.
22:24Bye.
22:24Bye.
22:25Don't tell.
22:26Don't tell anyone.
22:26All right, you neither.
22:28Don't shun me.
22:31Things are never black and white.
22:33Sometimes there's gray areas.
22:36People are struggling sometimes, you know, you have to make exceptions to the rules.
22:41The Amish do like rumors and gossip.
22:43I mean, there's not much else going on other than work, so.
22:46If anybody would have seen me give Kendra my phone or hug her.
22:51There would have been plenty of rumors in the Amish community.
22:54That wouldn't help me much.
22:56You know, my goal to get back into the Amish church.
23:01And I'll see you next week.
23:03Bye.
23:06Bye.
23:06Hi!
23:11Hello.
23:13Hi.
23:14The girls are still in there.
23:16They're English clothes, so today we are taking them to shop for fabrics to make.
23:21The boat ball emphasises modest.
23:25The boat ball emphasises modest.
23:26So, we need to get them dressed in more modest clothing.
23:31There was a lot of looks, long stares and awkwardness.
23:36Maybe in the crop top that Esme's wearing or the cleavage.
23:41Like, these women, I'm sure they were thinking, like, what are they doing?
23:46Here.
23:47So, I get hot when it's hot out.
23:51Is there a fabric that's, like, cooler?
23:53Thin.
23:54That depends.
23:55Some people like straight.
23:56Okay.
23:57I mean, I like a good stretch.
23:59So, this is what we're talking about.
24:01She's a big woman, right?
24:02Yeah.
24:03And it is hot.
24:04We are not used to...
24:06We're not having air conditioning and all that.
24:08We're conditioning right now.
24:09So...
24:11We need a fabric that is not going to be so sticky and...
24:14Right.
24:15Now, let me take you...
24:16We're here.
24:17Okay.
24:18Emma and her...
24:21witty self may have been trying to, like, body shame me, but...
24:26Sorry, girl.
24:27It didn't work.
24:28I'm not giving that energy.
24:30I...
24:31You know, struggle with my own insecurities and...
24:33I'm still feeling a little bit apprehensive.
24:35Like, these are things...
24:36I would never put on back home.
24:38So, I'm a little scared as to the chance...
24:41information that's about to come.
24:42I'm feeling a lot of pressure to kind of fit in and be...
24:46a part of this.
24:47Having to wear the dress, I feel like that'll completely...
24:51change who I am.
24:56...
25:01I have started
25:06to make my own dresses, probably around 11 or 12 years old.
25:11And I've made all my own dresses ever since that.
25:16And I've made all my dresses, too.
25:21Now, what is the newspaper for, Sarah?
25:24I'm going to make a pattern out of it.
25:26I'm going to make a pattern out of it.
25:31I'm going to make a pattern out of it.
25:36I'm going to make a pattern out of it.
25:41I'm going to make a pattern out of it.
25:46I'm going to make a pattern out of it.
25:51I'm going to make a pattern out of it.
25:56Aaron and Judah.
25:58Both of them are committed to making things work.
26:01And clothing is a big part of the Amish's identity.
26:04So we have to focus on getting...
26:06We'll try on a shirt, see if it fits, I guess.
26:11Green shirt.
26:12Blue pants.
26:13Amish communities have different...
26:15ways of dressing.
26:16Yes, definitely.
26:17So we'll be dressing you guys...
26:19to Lancaster Stour Ordnung.
26:22Mm-hmm.
26:23Mm-hmm.
26:27The Ordnung for Lancaster Amish is...
26:32...button pants with suspenders.
26:34A plain colored shirt.
26:36Straw...
26:37Straw hat.
26:38Plain shoes.
26:39And Judah and Aaron need to dress this way to...
26:42perform to the community.
26:43That's the way I like him.
26:44I kind of feel like a child needing help putting my...
26:47clothes on.
26:48I mean, these pants have like 30 different buttons on them.
26:51The shirt look too big.
26:52Allen's trying to help me put everything on.
26:54I've never wore suspenders a day in my life.
26:57Can you...
26:58Can you help me out, bro?
26:59Now I'm gonna shoot you.
27:00Yeah.
27:01Yeah.
27:02This...
27:03goes to this.
27:04I don't think any other black people...
27:07would dress like this.
27:08I mean, I feel like this is more like 80s, 70s...
27:10or something like that.
27:12I think one thing is...
27:16Well.
27:17Hey.
27:19Hi.
27:21Sarah.
27:22This is Ella.
27:23Hi.
27:24How are you, girl?
27:25I'm Billie Jo.
27:26OK.
27:27Ella's from the Lancaster Amish Church, and she's here to help the girls.
27:32With their clothing, because she knows the dress code.
27:36Should I go first?
27:37Yeah.
27:38Sure.
27:39Yeah.
27:40OK.
27:41We want to dress the way that they dress.
27:42Here, out of respect for them and their culture.
27:44Going in English, coming out on.
27:47I promise.
27:48It's really about fitting in.
27:50We're a family.
27:51Sarah made this.
27:52It was for me, and I did pick out the fabric.
27:55And I'm excited for all of us to be.
27:57Twinning.
27:58OK.
27:59What do we think?
28:02Are you OK in there, BJ?
28:03I'm just getting the touch-up.
28:07Does this look great?
28:08And then, eventually, you're going to have to learn how to tie your apron in the back
28:11for yourself.
28:12If it gets dirty, you can just change it out.
28:15You don't have to change a complete outfit.
28:17Which, you know, you do laundry.
28:19Each community has their own thing.
28:22There we go.
28:23Everybody get their hands in there.
28:24I like all the attention.
28:25There you go.
28:26There you go.
28:27There you go.
28:28There you go.
28:29There you go.
28:30There you go.
28:31I'm...
28:32I'm so excited to dress in Lancaster Amish.
28:36I'm going...
28:37From, like, faux Amish really want to be Amish to, like, top-of-the-line Amish.
28:42The Lancaster Amish, these girls don't play.
28:45Oh!
28:47Oh!
28:48I love it!
28:49Oh, my gosh.
28:51And...
28:52That color looks great on you.
28:53Yeah, that color looks so great on you.
28:55Kendra!
28:57Kendra is up next.
28:58Okay.
28:59I'm so excited for you.
29:00I can't wait.
29:01I can't wait.
29:02I can't wait.
29:02Oh, my gosh.
29:03That's what I came here for.
29:05Like, I'm so excited.
29:07Ready?
29:08Yep.
29:09This is so bizarre because being a dancer when we have...
29:12The costume ladies are all, like, up in my face.
29:15Like, I feel like we're not giving...
29:17I don't want her enough of privacy.
29:18Don't look at my underwears.
29:22Do Amish women wear undergarments?
29:24Do they wear bras?
29:25Ugh.
29:27Why are we talking about Amish women's bras?
29:32I'm sorry.
29:36Why are we talking about Amish women of their own, like, ok?
29:37I'll be honest, I feel like a huge hypocrite.
29:42All of the women are, like, very pure, very innocent.
29:46I feel like...
29:47I feel tainted and dirty, and, like, I don't know, it just, it goes back to...
29:52like, trying to forgive myself for the past, so, like, I feel like...
29:57I'm trying to come into this calling from God and, like...
30:02help me grow in my faith.
30:07The second I put that on my head, I, like, wanted to cry.
30:13Oh my god!
30:16Awww!
30:17Awww!
30:19Honey, you look so pretty!
30:21I love it!
30:22I was waiting for this moment this whole time, but we...
30:27I have no mirrors.
30:28I don't know what I look like!
30:32Do I look Amish?
30:33Yes.
30:34Okay!
30:37You ready to shave?
30:41So you are.
30:43You're not married, are you?
30:44Yeah, no.
30:46I gotta shave my mustache.
30:47Legaulty.
30:47You got the go, and the mustache.
30:48Oh!
30:49Well, shaving the mustache for men, uh...
30:53It is important.
30:54In the Amish, you have a beard as...
30:57a symbol that they're married.
30:58A God-given symbol.
30:59Obviously, I'm not married.
31:02I shave every day.
31:03I feel strongly about it.
31:04That's part of the Amish tradition.
31:08A lot of men in my community, we get razor bumps.
31:11I was...
31:12I was never even taught how to shave.
31:15I'm not knocking your cul...
31:17There are black kids raised Amish, and they abide by the...
31:22these rules.
31:23I don't agree with the principles as to why they want...
31:27us to shave.
31:28It doesn't really make sense.
31:29It should be a personal choice.
31:32You're in a time of proving, and you are not wanting...
31:37to conform or fit in.
31:42This is the thing that you're going to hang up on.
31:47What is thisgresource?
31:48I don't want to talk to you all.
31:49Sometimes we don't want to worry about how to...
31:50but always think of himself...
31:51A whale can come with uh...
31:52Like my fingers...
31:54And things like 40,000...
31:56Yes, as a exchange...
31:57Oh, yeah.
31:58When you talk...
31:59I had型 of world...
32:00To beelin...
32:01I would be the same...
32:02It'd be great.
32:03I had to read your works.
32:04I thought it was about 40 statut semble payer.
32:05You can't talk to me.
32:08In substantial sample size anyway.
32:10The完成 name was my favorite one.
32:11The audience of these the team itself has a real struggle.
32:12I stopped seeking back share ideas.
32:13The load.
32:14You never wanted to speak.
32:16part of living the Amish lifestyle is conforming to the Amish rules and
32:21if he's not wanting to shave he's not trying to fit in
32:26are you ready to shave let's do it
32:31you are willing to conform you are willing
32:36to the men
32:41you
32:42you
32:46Once you have your dress on, we'll come help you with the apron.
32:48OK, so just the dress.
32:50Remember which is the front?
32:51Which one?
32:52That seam.
32:53The seam goes in the front?
32:54Yeah.
32:55OK, got it.
32:56How do you do that?
32:57I'll come back to the front.
32:58I'll come back to the front.
32:59I'll come back to the front.
33:00Yes.
33:01I'll come back to the front.
33:04Do I just change yours?
33:06Hang on for a second.
33:08I mean, this is not really the Amish culture.
33:11Those things don't exist.
33:16Within the culture, like you can't have those things and still be a part of the culture.
33:21So, Ellen doesn't want to help put your clothing on as long as...
33:26you still have the lashes and the nails.
33:28OK, cool.
33:29Just because that's not how the Amish culture does.
33:31Yeah, it's fine.
33:32So then she doesn't have to help me.
33:36It wouldn't look right to have that on along with the dress.
33:41So here we are...
33:42Great, ready?
33:43work how cool what to do.
33:44Work how cool followed what it might play.
33:45You.
33:46You're doing the art on the left.
33:47We light reforming.
33:48And, you know, this.
33:49I wake up here in my head.
33:50You're reh marrying all that.
33:51I'll do this.
33:52I'm doing enormous part of this.
33:53About three minutes.
33:54We'll do this.
33:55I'm doing this.
33:56You're doing the art on the right,
33:57because it's a lot to work.
33:57I can certainly eatroyable, but people have have to play with me.
33:58And I can talk a lot.
34:01Get so much power Karen at ahh.
34:02Handsí really do rivals.
34:05So, girl, it won't be a nice Airbnb.
34:09in my nails so i'm like okay well then i won't change like that's fine i'm like i'm not gonna
34:13do it just because y'all
34:14me to do it you know i told him and that's totally fine with me so so
34:19it feels like we are going back on our word a little bit
34:24it's kind of just like this is why i'm not like a religious person because i feel like you know like
34:29like a lot of like judgment and stuff like that i was definitely trying to escape you know the pressure
34:35social media and like everyone kind of judging you based on your looks and i came here and it's kind
34:39of
34:39like i'm doing that all over again from our perspective
34:44we stopped wearing makeup we stopped wearing everything and we were
34:49coming over here and seeing like it's not really fair that they're all in there
34:54regular clothes you know yeah i didn't want esme to feel
34:59cast out but like you don't need that like i know like she feels like
35:14you
35:04like she needs it but like to them it's a huge deal and we came here for a change we
35:09came here to shift our perspective and i i would really hate for her to miss out on that just because
35:23you
35:14like i don't know because we have a lot of lashes and nails the thing is i can't say that amish are not about compromise because
35:19because we are somebody like you coming in we are very compassionate
35:24and trying to understand where you're coming from why you feel the way you do and why that you want to
35:29keep the things that you want to keep i can tell that she struggles with self-confidence
35:43you
35:34which is understandable i mean she's making a huge change from like where she's
35:48you
35:39coming from where she's transitioning into and i can understand where like some of the things
35:53you
35:44things are hard for her to let go of if those are like a part of who she feels like she
35:58is
36:00you
35:49i'm here to tell you you are beautiful you're going to look just as beautiful
36:05you
36:06you
35:54you
35:55you
35:57you
35:59you
35:59i know but i feel like you're so confident like who you are no but you guys are like so confident like i want you to be
36:04be confident in who you are taking it on full force and forcing yourself
36:09out of your comfort zone when you're here with everybody that's doing the same we're all
36:14out of our comfort zone yeah for sure and this opportunity comes like once
36:19you
36:19in a lifetime so i think it's a great opportunity i do too maybe
36:24it could even be healing knowing that god loves to unconditionally
36:29either
36:30no matter what is like the best thing that you could ever know
36:32you
36:33in a lifetime
36:34you
36:35into
36:34You're beautiful.
36:36He loves you as much as he loves me.
36:39Anybody in this world.
36:39Really, really, so.
36:42I wish so badly that I was, like, one of those girls.
36:44I can just go out and be like, oh, yeah, like, this is me.
36:46Like, this is who I am.
36:47Like, I don't have to wear makeup.
36:48Like, I don't care what anyone thinks.
36:49But it's just not me.
36:52I feel like Emma and Al are being Amish mean girls.
36:54It does piss me off because there's no reason for it.
36:59I'm not going to tell Emma.
37:00She has an ugly dress.
37:02Lashes and nails kind of make me a little bit more confident.
37:04I, like, lack a lot of self-esteem, so taking all that away,
37:07now it's kind of like I'm back to square one where I...
37:09I don't feel good about myself, and I don't feel confident,
37:12and I don't feel, like, enough.
37:14I don't feel good about myself.
37:19...
37:19You
37:24You
37:29The outsiders changing into the Amish clothes. It is a big deal. It's signified
37:34They are willing to conform into our lifestyle
37:39Yeah, I know I didn't shave I didn't
37:44Think I was gonna change my style of clothing
37:46But I'm happy that the Amish don't value vanity
37:49I can get used to this
37:51Judah, look how cute you are
37:53Aww
37:54What did you?
37:55You burrows are fabulous
37:56My arms boys
37:59I'm not feeling naked
38:00Oh my god
38:01Oh my god
38:02What's that?
38:03I have no beard
38:04I think that putting on Amish clothes every single morning
38:07It's gonna build a depth
38:09Of the camaraderie we're looking for
38:11And what the Amish try to do
38:13That grin, let's go
38:14Yes
38:15Twining
38:16You girls look great
38:17Thank you
38:18Look at my grandma's shoes
38:19A little ankle
38:22I just want everybody to know here
38:23I'm very grateful
38:24I'm excited to be part of the community
38:26I'm very proud of Aaron
38:27For being able to shave his face
38:28For me
38:29I decided not to
38:30Because it just didn't really make sense
38:31For me to do that
38:32Uh huh
38:33I don't want anybody to think
38:34I'm like a
38:34Bad person for like
38:35Not doing it
38:36I feel like they singled me out
38:39Judah refused to shave
38:40And they still let him put on his Amish clothes
38:43So
38:44It's really unfair
38:45So
38:46If Jesus can have a beard
38:47And you know what I'm saying
38:48And touch so many lives
38:49That's why is it
38:50That we have to shave
38:51Wait Esmeralda
38:53Why are you not
38:54An address
38:55They just said like
38:58They just said like
38:59Oh sorry
39:00Since you aren't willing
39:01To take off your lash extensions
39:02Or your nails
39:03Um
39:04We're not gonna allow you
39:05To like wear the dress
39:06So
39:07Here I am
39:09So
39:10If someone joins
39:11An Amish community
39:12They're expected to
39:13Follow the rules
39:14and respect them.
39:17That double standard comes on me and me.
39:19Ella, it discredits everything that we did.
39:24They let you keep your .
39:24That's not fair, and I don't want you to feel ostracized.
39:27Yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:28After today, I won't wear this.
39:29No, no, you look so good.
39:32Like, I don't want that to be a thing or anything.
39:35Esmeralda, I have a feeling you came for the experience
39:39rather than actually.
39:39I'm actually joining the Amish.
39:42I came to learn and...
39:44I want to be part of a community, and it feels like I'm...
39:46This is not...
39:47Like, I don't feel like part of a community.
39:49And that's, like, such a big thing that you guys, like, push,
39:51and it feels very Mean Girl-like.
39:54And that energy and, like, you know, being, like, targeted
39:56feels very un-community-like.
39:59Esmeralda can't be serious about joining the Amish
40:02if she's ready to leave over...
40:04Something small like eyelashes.
40:06It's wrong to sit up here and ostracize somebody
40:08because they decide...
40:09They can't take baby steps.
40:10And that's what I don't like.
40:11So if she can't wear her dress, I'm not going to wear my clothes.
40:14It's not fair.
40:15We came in together.
40:16I'm not going to let her rock out like that.
40:19I get that.
40:20You're entitled to feel that.
40:22But once everybody else is like, oh, well, if she's...
40:24She's not doing it.
40:25Be yourself.
40:26I'm not...
40:27I can see the tears in her eyes.
40:28I'm not letting her...
40:29I'm not allowing her to feel like that.
40:31And I'm looking like this.
40:32I will gladly go put my stuff on.
40:34It's not about not being myself.
40:35Don't be sad.
40:36It's about...
40:37Why are you crying right now?
40:38Do you feel like you don't...
40:39If you don't want to do it, then...
40:40You okay?
40:41I don't...
40:43I don't...
40:44I don't care how good I look.
40:45It's just a simple fact that she's being singled out because she's not...
40:49ready to make a step.
40:51It's not fair.
40:52We all have cried.
40:54We've all been upset.
40:56This is part of the journey.
40:57It's not an evil thing.
40:59It's not supposed to be evil.
41:01A culture shop.
41:04It's okay.
41:05Just breathe.
41:06It's okay.
41:07Just breathe.
41:08Just breathe.
41:10There's so much chaos going on.
41:12Esmeralda's hyperventilating.
41:14And there's so much turmoil in the group.
41:16I don't know if we'll ever be able just to blend and beat.
41:19together.
41:24And kind of feeling the opposite.
41:25The opposite of like what...
41:29If Esmeralda leaves, I'm leaving right behind her.
41:33This is...
41:34Just pushing me past my breaking point.
41:38Breathe.
41:39Next time...
41:44On Suddenly Amish.
41:45Get a feel of your brake pedal whenever you have a chance.
41:48Okay.
41:49I'm breaking.
41:50Probably break.
41:51Pump, pump.
41:52I'm breaking.
41:53I haven't been on a date in a...
41:54a very long time.
41:55Are you Felicchio?
41:56I am.
41:57I actually have my nipples pierced.
41:59No.
42:00Oh wow.
42:01You really do.
42:02I'm losing like every like...
42:04part of me.
42:05I can't do it.
42:06This life is not for everyone.
42:09Aaron is irritated that he can't have his hearing aids.
42:12It's an Amish approved.
42:14I'm tearing it.
42:15They are older technology.
42:16Battery power.
42:17If you have a low quality hearing aids...
42:19It's like mic feedback.
42:20Kindred...
42:24Peter and I have a bond.
42:25James is ripping it from my hands.
42:29Wait.
42:30What?
42:31Are you kidding me?
42:34Are you kidding me right now?
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