00:00I'm trying to go forward and then every time that something happens it draws me
00:16back to where where I kind of feel like there's a lot of people trying to set me
00:23up to getting to make a lot of people against me some paranoia known how hard
00:28is it to get like we're uh nice chives ready to go if Maddy Maddy's ready what the fuck are you
00:35you didn't even check a mic I'm just making a pomodoro just like fresh pasta pomodoro fresh
00:47pasta pomodoro yeah this is gonna be good hey what's up everybody I'm Maddy Matheson and this
00:54is just a dash I'm gonna show you how to make the greatest pomodoro ever isn't that exciting
01:00okay is that good no anyone that's not a celebrity chef can you raise your hand real quick
01:09uh so Maddy tell me about your your anger issues I don't really have anger issues sometimes I'll
01:22wake up the fuck is going on dude I haven't even started cooking yet okay we're ready for
01:31in there we're just about done good morning good morning it's gonna be a great day today on just a
01:40dash we are gonna be making something absolutely fantastic the pomodoro that was nice no 100 and
01:48150 250 grams of all-purpose flour no it's double zero double zero flour then semolina how many
02:01forget this much semolina just wait well I can put it in it will tell me the amount because I'm
02:07waiting oh yeah just do that or do you have the right amount how much is that
02:09tell me about your your anger what the fuck are you talking about you ever see that Winnebago man
02:18show you ever see that no don't slam the fucking door no more don't slam the fucking door this is
02:28the same Winnebago no more I don't think it is yeah yeah no I I'm I'm sure it is I don't have uh
02:37anger issues continuously gonna work on it because we all need to work on it I think it's maybe some
02:41people don't understand that they need to keep their side of the sidewalk clean you know yeah winter's
02:45coming yeah winter absolutely we're making fresh pasta beautiful fucking pasta we got
02:53oh why would you look every day seems to be the same I stand behind the counter and I'm doing the
03:03thing hold that thank you thank you and I think I'm doing good and then it just blows up
03:10did you measure that much water was stuck in the handle with that whisk I can't do we start over
03:20what the fuck do we do we'll start over just I don't know kind of unravel at moments it's not
03:27always nice your head structure is off it's not always the person who I want to be I need to just
03:34perform I smell so bad I just want to like try to figure out in the moment yeah they're ready for
03:40me how to control maybe small outbursts scale it out there's a fucking scale in those moments I kind
03:52of lose touch a little bit and maybe act out you stupid thank you so much I'm just trying to like
04:02understand what the hell I'm supposed to do like meditate instantly I'm closing the loop there's
04:09no chaos here I've been doing these videos for over 10 years now and it's like I've been making the
04:15same video same video hey I'm Maddie man hey and then I cook something and Michelle actually making it so
04:30yeah do you feel that you need to state your name I never thought to do something different or I feel
04:37like if I don't say it then it's not even real if it weren't for groundhogs trying to talk about my
04:42feelings and trying to figure out like you know my part in things yeah we wouldn't have groundhog day
04:48I'm like this big extrovert just a dash of salt and then when things start happening I go inwards
04:58and I don't know I get quiet and I get sad and then spiral quietly I'm a loud spiraler
05:07loud spiraler no I'm just like a part of the shtick it's like a thing that I do
05:12so it's a kind of a self-perpetuated loop then
05:15maybe
05:18such a good idea that is a good idea
05:23why are these guys even in here they're part of the crew so I am making a show well I thought so
05:30yeah a good dough smells cummy so then this is real yeah it's a little cummy right you're having
05:37maybe an existential crisis then it smells that how do you know when your dough's done you give
05:43it a little finger test a little finger test look at that we're bouncing back I understand people
05:47aren't perfect I don't want people to be a hundred percent no one's a hundred percent not even me
05:51right beside the garbage kind of where we start that's a nice one way up we have learned from
05:56our mistakes I've done this so many times spin spin spin I'm over here and like my mom says I always
06:03got my mouth okay everyone say spaghetti kiss spaghetti it's the circle of strength the circle of friendship
06:14I love sharing a meal with somebody doesn't smell nice making food for somebody else and I just
06:25passionate man I'm very passionate you ever taste your sauce which sauce I need salt absolutely but
06:35you're surrounded by people who love you do you taste it for real I would never lie this thing's just
06:44troublesome huh and life squeezes us at all times and every time life look what happens we get a little
06:56bit longer a little bit droopier but we learn our lessons the universe will teach you a lesson
07:04until you learn it absolutely over and over again over and over again time is all we have time is what
07:15we are time is what we are time to do I want to spend more time at home with my kids and my wife
07:40Okay?
07:41Not today.
07:42Not today.
07:43We can't go fishing today.
07:44I gotta make the show and then I think I gotta leave.
07:48Yeah.
07:54Don't break her heart again.
07:57Okay?
07:59Don't break her heart.
08:01Well, I love you.
08:03I love you too, daddy.
08:07I just wanna go home.
08:09And what's keeping you from doing that?
08:14I don't know.
08:16I didn't see that.
08:17The pressure of making videos for people.
08:20Britney, bitch.
08:23So it's a kind of a self-perpetuated loop then.
08:35Oh, there you are.
08:39Oh, damn.
08:41This place with us to be closed.
08:43Your mind isë‚´'s life's.
08:45fire yourself, fire yourself.
08:47Turn your feet your feet inside.
08:50IE500 though.
08:52I know you came through and you saw us see them all at the sky cav Quando Down.
08:55The sky is the time.
08:56And you saw Anas has aquela loja.
08:57And you saw it that you know when men are doing it.
09:00Because I wasn't thinking that the smart things are doing it.
09:03I know why I just came through and you know why they're not.
09:05Damned if I leave and damned if I stay
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