Gogglebox - Season 26 Episode 11
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00:00Wait! No! No, I was tensing up! No! I was tensing up so much! Oh, my God! Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on!
00:08Shake it off, shake it off. Wait, shake it off, shake it off. Wait, oh, I'm OK. Right, no more tensing!
00:20Her flabbers have been gasted.
00:22You want some of this?
00:24Oh, that is!
00:26Look out!
00:27No! See?
00:28Oh, now there's a controversial statement. The gravy.
00:32Oh!
00:34Yeah!
00:35Do you like this music?
00:36No, not particularly.
00:37So, suck on that!
00:38Oh, wow!
00:40He's been a bad boy!
00:42Don't ever take me to a restaurant like that.
00:44Not a chance, do you?
00:45Oh!
00:46Yes, look at that!
00:47He's had an absolute feast!
00:49Oh!
00:50Whoa!
00:51For a banana?
00:52This is insane!
00:54Well, thank God that's over, I've got a take on.
00:57It is like putting chicken in a vodka tonic, this.
01:01That's very modern, isn't it?
01:03Nothing, no one saw that coming.
01:04No.
01:05In the week a shoplifter was jailed for stealing eight tubs of celebrations, we enjoyed lots of
01:12great telly.
01:13Lee Mack had more common sense questions on ITV.
01:17If Ariana Grande were to reverse her name, which of these would be the result?
01:22Oh, she's married and she goes up with that fella.
01:26I can't think of his name now.
01:28Not Beaver.
01:29Ooh!
01:30Justin Beaver!
01:31Justin Beaver!
01:32Justin Beaver!
01:33Justin Beaver!
01:34Justin Beaver!
01:35Ha, ha, ha, ha!
01:37Oh.
01:38What's his name then?
01:40Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
01:43Disney Plus had wheeled out the big guns.
01:46Hi.
01:47You're late.
01:48Oh shit.
01:49What did I forget?
01:50Baby, I'm sorry.
01:51Are you really telling me you don't know what today is?
01:53I mean, I could look like that if I could be arsed.
01:57Yeah.
01:58We just do it so that we don't intimidate other women, don't we?
02:02We don't want to show anybody else up if we did, you know, daily working out and extreme
02:08healthy diet, full glam squad every day.
02:12I couldn't be arsed sitting there and having my hair and make-up done.
02:15Oh, I couldn't.
02:16It'd be too much effort.
02:17It would.
02:19I'd rather slob around in bobbly tracksuit bombs.
02:22Ha, ha, ha.
02:23And Salems had been let loose in Central America on BBC One.
02:28To get there, teams could head for the Caribbean, taking advantage of the well-trodden but expensive
02:34tourist routes in southern Belize.
02:36This is the favourite destination for the Gap Yarn, I think.
02:40Do you remember?
02:41Which country?
02:42All the people from England on the Gap Yarns, they all meet on some remote beach in South
02:48America and they say it's really weird that they've met each other on this beach.
02:53What a coincidence.
02:54What an incredible coincidence.
02:56I'm sorry.
03:05I got mum's nose.
03:06No, you didn't.
03:07Cute little button nose.
03:08I definitely got mum's nose.
03:09Look at it.
03:10Look at it.
03:11Look at it.
03:12Sarah, her husband Andre and their daughter Shay.
03:16No, but my nose just looked like...
03:18I don't have this dip thing in the middle.
03:20That comes after 30.
03:25Wait, that's a bit too soon for my liking, you know?
03:27Wait, wait, wait, wait.
03:28I've only got four years.
03:30Enjoy it while it lasts.
03:31I used to watch it in the mirror and it starts, I'd be like, what's happening here?
03:36On Saturday night, there was more brain-teasing action on ITV1.
03:41Have you ever been a member of a club or something?
03:43Oh, yeah.
03:44Have you?
03:46I'm a member of the ukulele club.
03:48Well, of course you are.
03:49I never thought of that.
03:50Yes.
03:51Uh-huh.
03:52Well, I might as well try to be part of the 1% club because I'm not part of the running
03:55club anymore.
03:56No.
03:57You're part of the quiz club.
03:58Neither are you.
03:59Let's play the 1% club.
04:04My favourite, um, quizzy type thing is Spot the Difference.
04:10I'm not bad at Spot the Difference, Simon.
04:14Really?
04:15Very rarely.
04:16Very rarely.
04:17I don't know why it's so funny.
04:18You're Spot the Difference for kids.
04:20It's...
04:21They make it very difficult these days.
04:23Seriously.
04:24It is time for the 30% question.
04:27Oh, 30.
04:28That's where it gets that little bit difficult-er.
04:33If a blue car stopped suddenly...
04:35Oh, too many words.
04:36And a yellow car behind crashes into the back of the blue car.
04:39This is what I can't do.
04:41And a green car crashes into the back of the yellow car.
04:44And a black car crashes into the back of the green car.
04:47Uh-huh.
04:48How many bumpers, front and back, will have been hit in total?
04:52Half of...
04:53What?
04:58So, it would be however many car times two take away two.
05:01Yes.
05:02Yes.
05:03Four cars.
05:04Take away two.
05:05So, eight.
05:06Take away two.
05:07Six.
05:08I'm gonna say six.
05:09Six.
05:10Ten.
05:11Fuck.
05:12That's hard.
05:13I'm going for 14.
05:14That's wrong.
05:15You can copy off me if you want.
05:17No.
05:18Okay.
05:19I'm gonna go for five.
05:20I'm going for five.
05:21Not even an even number.
05:22Are you okay?
05:30It's not Squid Games.
05:3521.
05:36It's 22.
05:37We're here in a minute.
05:38Let's have a look at the answer.
05:40It's six.
05:41Ah!
05:42I got it!
05:43Fuck yeah!
05:44What did you get?
05:45Nothing.
05:46Some odd number.
05:49It's now time for the 15% question.
05:5215.
05:53Holy shit.
05:55What flower is represented here?
05:57Now, you'll be good at this.
05:58Flowers.
05:59Right, I took my eye out of this.
06:0030 seconds starts now.
06:01That's it?
06:02Eh?
06:03That's all they're giving you.
06:07What flower?
06:08I can't see a flower.
06:10Where's the flower?
06:12Point setter.
06:13Point.
06:14And that's a set, maybe?
06:16Or an arrow.
06:17Just...
06:18What flower do you know called an arrow?
06:20It's a table.
06:21It's a table.
06:22Arrow table.
06:23Right...
06:24Right...
06:25Right...
06:26Where is that?
06:27Rhododendron.
06:31Rose?
06:32Direct...
06:33What?
06:34Rose?
06:35Rose!
06:36Oh!
06:37Hey!
06:38Clever clogs.
06:42Too late.
06:43Point setter.
06:44Are we going for point setter?
06:45Yeah.
06:46OK.
06:47Let's have a look at the answer.
06:48It's Rose.
06:49Rose!
06:50You should have got that.
06:51If anybody knows about rows and columns, it's you.
06:53You see, we've got a bit of a brain between us, haven't we?
06:56Problem is, maybe my brain's too complex.
06:58You were out at 30%.
06:59OK.
07:00I got to 50.
07:01I nearly said Rose.
07:03You were out.
07:04After whittling down the contestants here in the studio, we are left with the 1% question.
07:09Oh, God, this'll be ad.
07:11Diana celebrated her 83rd birthday yesterday.
07:14OK.
07:15If she was gifted new balloons for every birthday she has celebrated, how many number three balloons would she have received?
07:23Oh, blimey.
07:253, 13, 23.
07:26Well, you're not doing that.
07:27I'm fucking halfway through here.
07:32What's your answer?
07:3330.
07:34Aye, but hang on.
07:35There's in-betweens as well, you dick.
07:379?
07:38Have I missed something massive there?
07:40I think you might be right.
07:4110.
07:42It's not 10, because you'd have 10 for 30 alone.
07:45All her 30s.
07:46How?
07:47Oh, shit, yeah.
07:4840, 50, 60, 70.
07:53Another four.
07:5418.
07:55But 19, because 33, she gets two threes.
07:5738.
07:5839.
07:5939.
08:0019!
08:0119!
08:02Well done, Diana.
08:05Are we about to be in the 1%?
08:07Whoop, whoop, whoop.
08:08Jack, what's your answer?
08:09Eight.
08:10Oh, Jack!
08:11Oh.
08:12Silly twat.
08:13You silly get.
08:14Roisin?
08:15I put 20.
08:16I just changed it from 19, and now I'm not sure.
08:19Oh!
08:20Well, hang on, she might be right, she might be wrong.
08:21She might be right.
08:22Yeah.
08:23I'm slightly arrogant.
08:24Yeah, yeah, yeah.
08:25Right.
08:26Let's have a look at the answer.
08:27Oh, my God.
08:28It's 19.
08:33Yes!
08:34No way!
08:35Yes, yes, yes!
08:36Oh, my God!
08:37Fuck yeah!
08:3819.
08:39Oh, I forgot the 30s completely.
08:41It's 19.
08:4219.
08:43Oh, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 35, 35.
08:47Oh!
08:48Me, yet again, in the 1% club.
08:50Nailed every question.
08:51So?
08:52Apart from the Rose one, which was a bit fucking stupid, if you ask me.
08:55Which is actually your job.
08:57This is what I'm saying.
08:58You know, it's all well and good going,
09:00uh, I can't have anyone to think.
09:01You can't even answer questions on your own job, Soph.
09:06You know, get in the real world, eh, cocky.
09:08In Wiltshire.
09:09I don't know what it is about you, but when you have a bonfire, you think, you're so short-sighted.
09:18You think, Leslie, it'd be nice to see a blaze.
09:21So you'd burn things that were valuable just to see a blaze.
09:24Giles and his wife, Mary.
09:26I burnt the LaRousse Encyclopedia of Modern Art, Nutty.
09:31Oh, did you really?
09:33Because it was...
09:34OK, I lost.
09:35Oh, no, I'm joking.
09:36I didn't.
09:37I kept it.
09:38But I was thinking of burning it because it was so big and no one ever looked at it.
09:43But you are so big and no one ever looks at you.
09:46It's time you went on a bonfire.
09:48Oh, Mary.
09:49You've got to keep it light.
09:51Keep it light.
09:53How can I when you're provoking me beyond endurance?
09:57It's just as well I've got my own life.
10:00Otherwise, you'd be gaslighting me and that sort of thing, wouldn't you?
10:10On Thursday, it was backpacks at dawn as the celebrity racers cracked on on the BBC.
10:16Yeah, I mean, I do pretty well, let's face it, I've been to 59 countries.
10:19Yeah, and almost got arrested in 58 of them.
10:22No, I did not.
10:23I've only been arrested in a few of them.
10:25Not that many at all.
10:29We'll be doing that tomorrow.
10:31Racing across to Wales.
10:33It's not quite the world, is it, love?
10:35No, but it's away from home.
10:36Going over the Seven Bridge.
10:38Don't have to pay for it anymore.
10:40No toll.
10:41Or even better.
10:42Setting off in the lead.
10:43Buenos dias.
10:44Buenos dias.
10:45Que tal?
10:46Anita and Bal are first to find out where they're heading next.
10:49Anita and Bal are nearly a whole day ahead of everyone else.
10:53Your second checkpoint is El Zonte.
10:55Oh, God, El Zonte, who's heard of that? None of them, I expect.
10:58For safety reasons, travel after dark is not allowed.
11:02Travel after dark is not allowed.
11:04That's serious business, you know?
11:06This is quite dangerous.
11:07I've never thought everyone across the world would be that dangerous,
11:09but that's quite dangerous.
11:11Across this region of Central America, increased trafficking and crime at night.
11:16I wouldn't go somewhere where there was trafficking, no.
11:20What's trafficking exactly again?
11:22940 kilometres to the south, El Zonte and El Salvador.
11:27Oh, no.
11:28You don't want to be going to El Salvador.
11:30Ooh.
11:31That's not good.
11:32Teams could head for the Caribbean.
11:33Ooh!
11:34That's a piece of me that is there.
11:36Yeah, I'm taking that route.
11:37Alternatively, they may choose to stay in Guatemala.
11:40Guatemala.
11:41Guatemala?
11:42Isn't that something to eat?
11:43What?
11:44You're thinking of guacamole.
11:45Oh, yeah, I am.
11:47You choose, you choose.
11:48Come on.
11:49We've come to Guatemala.
11:50Yeah.
11:51And we're then jumping back out of Guatemala without seeing nothing so far.
11:53Yeah, no, no, let's stick to Guatemala.
11:55I think we've made our decision.
11:56Stick with Guatemala.
11:57Yes!
11:58Yes!
11:59Good idea.
12:00Right, Coburn, yeah?
12:01Yeah.
12:02Oh, 644 for the bus.
12:07Erm, why are we stopping here?
12:10What, the strapping fire?
12:11Yes, I'm stopping in.
12:12Trafficking.
12:13Does everybody come off here?
12:14Why are you jumping straight to that?
12:17The road is closed because they're courtesy.
12:19Oh.
12:20Oh, no, they're going to lose time now.
12:22No!
12:23It's a three-day protest and no one can find so we have to walk.
12:27Oh, that's not ideal.
12:28A three-day protest, that's quite slightly ridiculous.
12:31It's like the French.
12:32Oh, yeah, we could be in France.
12:34Manifestation.
12:35Hang on, what are all these guys doing?
12:37Is this the protest?
12:38Right, where do we get to Coburn?
12:40How do we get there?
12:41Is that the roadblock?
12:42Yeah, that's the roadblock.
12:43Oh, they drove over that?
12:45They could get the bus over that easy.
12:47I've parked my car over worse on the school road.
12:50I just hope there is a bus.
12:51What if there isn't a bus?
12:54Then what?
12:55Maybe we could hitchhike.
12:57That sounds safe in Guatemala.
12:59You'd pick them up as well.
13:00Yeah.
13:01I love them.
13:02I love picking up people.
13:03So bizarre.
13:04Having navigated their way through the protest,
13:06Anita and Bal are spending the night
13:08in the Guatemalan highlands.
13:10They don't want to be out there on a night.
13:11They've been warned about that.
13:13Basically, I need to leave really early in the morning.
13:166am.
13:19Tomorrow, you can't pass in principal roads.
13:22Oh, tomorrow's the same.
13:23You can't pass in principal roads.
13:25So nobody can drive tomorrow?
13:27No.
13:28What?
13:29They can't do anything?
13:30They're stuck.
13:31Oh, in the whole of Guatemala.
13:33Shit, they should have gone the other route.
13:35What if it goes on for days?
13:37What happens then?
13:38Is the race over for us?
13:40Have a pina colada.
13:41I don't know.
13:43Like, fuck it out, Anita.
13:44Yeah, she's different.
13:45Yeah, great.
13:46No, she's very competitive by the looks of it.
13:48Like, come on.
13:49Calm down.
13:50Even though I'm not that competitive.
13:51After an extended stay in Guatemala,
13:54the teams had made it to the checkpoint town.
13:57Oh, we've got one.
13:58Oh, we've got one.
14:00They're all descending on El Zante now.
14:03Head west on the beach.
14:05And locate the bird carved into rock.
14:08There.
14:09That's a bird carved into a rock there.
14:11There.
14:12See that bird?
14:13Yeah, there.
14:14There it is.
14:15There it is.
14:16That must be our hotel.
14:17Come on, Dad.
14:18Go on.
14:19That's how close they are.
14:20Well, Anita's dad's not running anywhere.
14:22There.
14:23I see it.
14:24You see it?
14:25Oh, yeah.
14:26We've got to get up.
14:27They're all there.
14:28They've seen it too, haven't they?
14:29Who's going to get there?
14:31It's locked.
14:32Oh, it's locked.
14:33It's locked.
14:34You're going to have to jib your dad over the wall.
14:36Try it there.
14:37Is this it?
14:38Come on, then.
14:39Who's turning that page over there?
14:40The checkpoint's up there.
14:41Look.
14:42Oh, my God!
14:43Who's done it?
14:44There's the hotel.
14:45There's the book.
14:46Hola.
14:47Hola.
14:48Welcome to El Zante.
14:49Hola.
14:50Where is the red book we signed?
14:51Exactly.
14:52Are we the first?
14:53Oh!
14:54Yes!
14:55Anita and Val!
14:57Oh, they've done it.
14:58They're first.
14:59Bravo.
15:00Well done.
15:01No way.
15:02That's sweet.
15:03Getting on so well with your father.
15:05Do you think they'd let us take Perkins?
15:07Yeah, I mean, I think Perkins going would be good because we could use him as bait.
15:12People would think he's so cute.
15:13You're going to use our dog as bait?
15:14Well, like, as an emotional bait.
15:16We're not pimping him out.
15:17We are totally pimping him out.
15:19Well, mate, you can stroke my dog if you drive me cheaper.
15:22Less dinero, please.
15:25Pat my dog.
15:26In Durham.
15:27I had to do this FODMAP diet to try and find out what foods were irritating my stomach.
15:40And one of the things you have to eat is gluten-free bread.
15:43The price of gluten-free bread for a loaf of bread?
15:46Four pound.
15:47Four pound?
15:48Best friends Abby and Jarja.
15:51Me uncle said you can get it from the chemist.
15:53I said, I'm not buying, I'm not getting bread from the chemist.
15:57What?
15:58Me uncle said, oh, you can get the bread from the chemist.
16:03No, you cannot.
16:04I said, gluten-free bread from the chemist.
16:06I don't know if he was having us on or not.
16:09But apparently you can get gluten-free bread from the chemist.
16:12I said, I'm not going to the fucking chemist asking for bread.
16:18On Tuesday night, adolescents were at it in the kitchen on E4.
16:22Come down with me, teens.
16:24What are they all going to be making?
16:25Pot noodles, cereal, toast.
16:27When you see a teenager that can cook, yeah,
16:29I've got to give them props because I'll tell you something.
16:32I don't know many.
16:33Definitely not mine.
16:34You might learn something from these teenagers, Steve.
16:37So keep watching.
16:43I'm not wearing funny patterns.
16:44If you shaved your beard off, you could probably apply for this.
16:47I think I'd look too, you ought to be honest.
16:49One thing I've managed to achieve over these last 30 years, 40 years.
16:54Now, how long have we been here? Nearly 40 years.
16:56Charles.
16:57Is we've managed to abolish the dinner party.
17:00No, because I have them in London with glittering people.
17:04It's the second day of the teen cooking competition in and around Manchester.
17:09Big up the big end city.
17:11And today it's fitness fan Ben's turn.
17:13Oh God, he'll give everyone protein shakes.
17:15Oh, we know what he's having. Chicken.
17:18To fire up his folks' stove and host his first ever dinner party.
17:22Did you ever have a dinner party at that age?
17:24Not at that age, no.
17:25Crikey.
17:26Double oven, Ellie.
17:27The dream.
17:29Everything on the menu is something I've loved since from the ages of three, four, six.
17:33Everything just...
17:34Oh, I just love it.
17:35What about five?
17:36What happened to five?
17:37Five was the lost year.
17:38We don't talk about that.
17:40On to the starter.
17:41Tomato bruschetta.
17:43Well, that's quite easy.
17:44Why are teenagers making bruschetta?
17:47Bruschetta.
17:48I didn't even know what fucking bruschetta was when I was a young man.
17:50I think the only thing we got to bruschetta was bread and jam.
17:54Finn starts the process by chopping up onions.
17:57What I don't like about chopping up vegetables and stuff is that they move too much.
18:01I've actually never chopped an onion.
18:03I'm not making my own bread because I don't actually trust my abilities to make my own bread, to be honest.
18:07It takes a lot more effort for it to just be like mid.
18:10Mid.
18:11Let's give a mid.
18:13Mid, Jane.
18:14No-one wants mid, do they?
18:15No way, man.
18:16No way, bud.
18:17Dessert, please.
18:18Eat and mess.
18:19Oh, God.
18:20I hate eat and mess.
18:21It's my favourite.
18:22Oh, God.
18:23I love an eat and mess.
18:24Everyone pretends they like eat and mess.
18:26You're all lying.
18:27I'm not pretending.
18:28I love eat and mess.
18:29Finn starts by getting eggs for the meringue.
18:31Let's get them out of the egg cupboard.
18:32Look at that.
18:33Egg cupboard?
18:34You've got chickens and you don't even have as many eggs as they do.
18:36The whites are separated into a big bowl.
18:39OK.
18:40Yes, that's it.
18:41I've never tried cracking an egg.
18:43I wouldn't want you to try and crack an egg not until you've got your own kitchen.
18:47I've got a bit of shell in there.
18:48Oopsie.
18:49Oh, he's bollocks that up.
18:50Is it kind of annoying?
18:51Oh, not the fingers in the egg.
18:53His fingers just been up his nose or in his tracky bottoms or down his pants.
18:57Pesky shell removed.
18:58He whisks his egg whites, adds sugar and then whisks again.
19:03Listen, I don't even know how to make meringue now.
19:06I just buy it.
19:07Soft peaks you want.
19:08Stiff peaks.
19:09Or stiff peaks.
19:10I think it's that one.
19:11I don't even know.
19:12A hundred and six.
19:14That's a common one.
19:16I can't remember how to use the oven.
19:18OK.
19:19I've never used the oven.
19:20I bet he knows how to use the microwave.
19:22Yeah.
19:23Mum.
19:24Oh, dear.
19:25Mum.
19:27Right, that's on.
19:28Yeah.
19:29Now you need your temperature, yeah?
19:30Yeah.
19:31This is charm, this.
19:32I forgot, Mum.
19:33I forgot.
19:34What do I do again?
19:35Winch knobs.
19:37I don't know what that is.
19:38Oh, look at them.
19:39What is all this bit, though?
19:41Only one thing for it.
19:42Mum.
19:43Mum.
19:44He's such a teenager.
19:45Mum.
19:46You might just have to try a little bit.
19:48Ready?
19:49Oh, Christy.
19:50Here comes the airplane.
19:51Whee!
19:56Oh, and he's on telly and all.
19:58So this is my style, tomato bruschetta.
20:00Oh, yeah, it's quite good.
20:01I love this, so hope you all enjoy.
20:04What type of bread is it?
20:05It's just sourdough.
20:06Just sourdough bread from the shop.
20:07He could have got a bit of chia batter
20:10to make it more sort of Italian.
20:13Look at you, chia batter.
20:14I know.
20:15You can have this if you want.
20:16Go on.
20:17Yeah, go on.
20:18Do you want this as well?
20:19Yeah, go on.
20:20Go!
20:21Bang!
20:22You can't finish your guests' leftovers.
20:25At least take them into the kitchen and finish it.
20:27Yeah.
20:29So the starter went down really well.
20:32Ben's wolf.
20:33Yeah, yeah.
20:34Eat it like a true teenage boy.
20:35He loves a bruschetta.
20:37Five empty plates.
20:38They're only empty, mate, because you emptied them.
20:40It's time to get eaten, Messi.
20:43Right, there's only one way to crush these.
20:49He's fisting them around.
20:50There you go.
20:51Ooh.
20:52This is EMS.
20:53There we go.
20:54There was meant to be a few raspberries on the side,
20:56but I ate them all for lunch.
20:57LAUGHTER
20:58I go to dinner parties, but I don't host them.
21:02When the fuck do you go to dinner parties, like?
21:04When I go to my mum's for tea.
21:06That's close as a dinner party.
21:08All I can do is play them back in my mind and think what a nightmare they were.
21:13Well, it was only because the last one you gave, you came in with soily fingers
21:17and you'd twirled roasted nuts round in a bowl in front of the people
21:21and then offered them.
21:22And they said, no, Charles, your hands are dirty.
21:24I seem to remember I'd lost my carving knife, so I just pulled the flesh off the bird
21:28and plopped it onto their plates and they weren't very impressed.
21:31No.
21:35He leaps.
21:36Right, Izzy, I've got the bodysuit on.
21:38Let's have a look, Gwen.
21:39That I wanted to borrow off you to wear for my Christmas do.
21:42Well, you can have it. I don't want it back.
21:44Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
21:47Oh, my God.
21:50You can't wear it with no bra.
21:52You've got to wear a bra with it.
21:54You don't take your bra off.
21:56I've realised that, you know.
21:58You've realised that now.
22:00You need a black bra to go under it.
22:02Chuffing Ellie off someone's eye out.
22:05Don't offer much support.
22:06No.
22:07It don't offer any support.
22:09Saggy Maggies are us.
22:11Saggy Maggies on top.
22:13I mean, I didn't feel too bad about my boobs until I put this on.
22:17Bloody hell, you couldn't go out and that you'd trip over.
22:20This week, reality show royalty was giving it a good go on Disney+.
22:25Hello.
22:26Come on, Katsley.
22:27Do you want to see Kim Kardashian attempting to act?
22:31Are you a Kim Tae fan, Dad?
22:32I mean, look, two hands in the air, yes.
22:34What?
22:36What?
22:37All these women used to work for another practice.
22:42Ah.
22:43But then they thought, no, we'll do our own.
22:45Oh, that's all right.
22:46So it's an all women.
22:48Good on you.
22:49Lawyer.
22:50You know, for divorces and all like that.
22:51Yeah.
22:52Oh.
22:53Kim will be finding this the divorces she's had.
22:55Yeah, baby, come on.
22:56Ahem.
22:57That's Kim's husband, Chase.
22:58Looks like she's made an effort.
23:02Hi.
23:03Hi.
23:04Hello.
23:05Hi.
23:06You're late.
23:07Oh, shit.
23:08What did I forget?
23:09It's our anniversary, isn't it?
23:10Oh, they're always men are always in trouble, aren't they, Mary?
23:13It's our anniversary, Chase.
23:14Fuck me.
23:15Raw.
23:16Baby.
23:17Oh, Jesus.
23:18Not a good one.
23:19Yep.
23:20And the penny drops.
23:21Yep.
23:22Baby, I hate myself.
23:23The fact that he keeps calling a baby makes me want to throw up.
23:24Yeah, and he's just said that he hates himself.
23:25And his trousers are too tight and all.
23:26We're not giving you this.
23:27This morning.
23:28Oh, he's crazy.
23:29Cool.
23:30The old forgot-the-anniversary aunt really forgot the anniversary.
23:32Pulled out a little blue box.
23:34Look at the size of that whopper.
23:35Happy anniversary.
23:36Oh, I'm sorry.
23:37I'm sorry.
23:38I'm sorry.
23:39I'm sorry.
23:40I'm sorry.
23:41I'm sorry.
23:42I'm sorry.
23:43I'm sorry.
23:44I'm sorry.
23:45I'm sorry.
23:46I'm sorry.
23:47I'm sorry.
23:48I'm sorry.
23:49I'm sorry.
23:50I'm sorry.
23:51The eyes are that whopper.
23:52Happy anniversary, baby.
23:54Come to daddy.
23:55Oh!
23:56Oh!
23:57Oh, God!
23:58No, he didn't just say that!
24:01Turn it off.
24:06Oh.
24:07Look at him, both hands on her arse.
24:09Bloody hell, Auntie Margaret won't like this.
24:11She'd call it soft porn.
24:12This is great, this show, isn't it?
24:14Come to daddy.
24:15Miss Allure is not the only one celebrating an anniversary this week.
24:20This is Kim's fancy lawyer office.
24:21Oh, gosh.
24:22To our next client.
24:23Let's review her case, shall we?
24:24Right.
24:25What have we got?
24:26What did Danielle do this time?
24:27Milan, you're still taking the bar this spring?
24:28Yes.
24:29Tiana Taylor!
24:30Sit in.
24:31You're one of the girls now.
24:32Come on.
24:33That's Milan.
24:34That's Kim K's assistant.
24:35Look at that walk.
24:36What?
24:37I can still...
24:38I can still email you...
24:39On me.
24:40No, Whitman.
24:41I can still smell you on me.
24:42Oh!
24:43Oh!
24:44Oh, it's cheese.
24:45Hey, that's a Rusbund.
24:46I'm making your favourite drink.
24:51you on me no wait man i can still smell you on me
24:56hey that's her husband i'm making your favorite drink
25:04what's with the overnight bag is there a game i didn't know about i think you'd add a stroke
25:10if you let against the wall like that judge with your best on
25:14can we sit down and talk oh no oh he's breaking up with her
25:20he's definitely put an orange down there or something yeah wouldn't you
25:31sassy too sassy yeah a couple of easy peelers down there
25:36i can't fucking breathe in this perfect house with these perfect paintings
25:41oh i bet this cuts deep because i bet this was what gagne was saying
25:45it is a bit much isn't it he wants a bit of clutter don't he
25:49talk to me are you just having a bad day or something
25:52no it's a bit more than i can i'm sorry love i'm fucked off
25:57come on laura i'm drowning here with you
25:59what are you talking about you're famous
26:01what are you talking about there's too much of it
26:04you're famous what are you talking about
26:07next to you i feel hopelessly and ridiculously small
26:10that's not on me that's on you
26:11it's obviously because she's a very powerful woman that he feels inferior
26:17whereas you know for me i'd just ride the gravy train
26:21where's chase going now
26:27oh oh oh hello
26:31oh he's come to see her
26:34oh
26:36hey hey come true sexy time
26:41don't look simon it's gonna be a hot sexy scene
26:44i think she knows
26:45i'm not yet
26:47oh we can lift it up
26:51oh we can
26:51she's gonna make our mission enough
26:53oh oh
26:55mm
26:56ross
26:57this is awkward
26:58all's fair in love and war
27:02all's fair in love and war
27:03now get your plunker out
27:05you said the title as well did you see that
27:07yeah very clever writing
27:08jesus
27:09after finding out the identity of chase's bit on the side
27:13milan
27:14milan
27:16oh is that angry is that happy is that sad who the fuck is it
27:19kim had got changed to go and confront her
27:23alora i worship you and i need you to know that
27:26i'm fucking kidding
27:27why are you having it off with me husband then
27:29so you did this because you want to be me
27:31everybody wants to be you
27:34i don't want to be her
27:35oh boo-hoo
27:37get your own husband you slag
27:39alora i'm
27:40i'm so sorry
27:42no you're not
27:43what's at the centre of it
27:45ask the question
27:46what's the question
27:47i'm not following
27:48what
27:48question
27:49is it his
27:55is it is
27:56is what his
27:57oh she's not having a baby is she
27:59gracious
28:00and the answer is
28:01oh my god
28:07i'm with child
28:13yes
28:15that was the best bit of acting she did
28:25that was the only good bit her face moved
28:27face moved i definitely saw it move it did move her eyebrow went like that that was fucking terrible to be fair no no let's have it right it's that bad it's good
28:41no it's not that bad it's not that bad it's bad it's bad it's bad really bad
28:45in blackpool
28:54you'll never guess what what me and page were sat right going through our credit card statement because we've got a joint credit card account yeah anyway page is going oh haven't you spent a lot this month
29:05pete and his little sister sophie oh you've been to home bargains and all this like i went that doesn't make sense
29:11anyway it turns out she's had my card and i've had hers
29:18she went to home bargains
29:20yeah definitely not thought my card had been cloned
29:24on friday it was the world's richest man making headlines on the bbc
29:30so with you
29:31a bit crispy aren't them
29:33what
29:34these custards
29:35they're not custards
29:36it's a pastel donata
29:38you know i don't like following a food jeweler
29:40the boss of tesla elon musk has had a record-breaking pay package agreed by the company's shareholders
29:47he's got the midas touch this man
29:50oh yeah
29:50would you snog elon musk for a free tesla how long's the snog
29:54one minute
29:55ooh that's a bit long but i'd probably do it for a tesi
29:59the deal could be worth nearly one trillion dollars
30:02what one trillion dollars that's insane
30:06that's not real money
30:09there's one trillion a number like
30:10elon musk arriving in his own style to thank shareholders for this latest vote of confidence
30:18oh look he's grooving down nutty i haven't seen anyone grooving like that since uh theresa may
30:22his dance partner optimus
30:24and those bots are just dancing
30:26they're no wires
30:27is that the robot there throwing sheets
30:29yeah
30:30oh darling that looks like you dancing
30:32it does but that's slightly better than me
30:33yeah
30:34it has more rhythm
30:34it does have more rhythm
30:35could these autonomous robots be the factory workers of the future and helping hands in our homes
30:41in our homes if that walked in my house and started doing things i'd say
30:45get out you little fucker
30:47honestly that is not for me
30:50they're not walking very fast are they
30:52no they're not
30:53i'm saying nothing nasty about these guys
30:55they're going to be our overlords soon
30:56exactly yeah just stay nice with them
30:58this pay package amounts to one trillion dollars over a ten year period
31:04she's a lot of nuts there julie
31:05i've never known what a trillion looks like that's what a trillion looks like
31:10eee i mean there's me getting worried about the price of gluten free bread
31:14he's a fucking trillionaire
31:16that's one followed by twelve zeros
31:18that's ridiculous
31:20twelve zeroes
31:21i'd still do people's hair if i had that much money
31:24liar you don't want to do people's hair for money as your job now
31:28it's about the annual output of switzerland
31:31so theoretically he's earning more than a country
31:34how could one person get that for his company but certain countries ain't even worth that
31:39this is how the world works now
31:41that's how it works
31:42the greedy bastard
31:46in leeds
31:48so what are you up to this week anyway
31:50tomorrow
31:50it's tattoo day
31:52are you doing it
31:53i'm doing it
31:53do you know what i'm going to be honest i thought you were the chicken now
31:55me too
31:56still time
31:57best friends danielle and daniela
32:01i may have heard or you may have said in a conversation that there was a fit tattoo artist there
32:06there is a fit tattoo artist there
32:08right up your street as well
32:10this week the pressure was on with more high stakes playground games on netflix
32:18then there's a kiss on its own
32:20yeah
32:20she's been drinking toilet water
32:22there she has
32:23now that reminds me mary
32:24i'm going to buy a tracksuit next week
32:27and i'm hoping to buy it from the central aisle of a set of a well-known german supermarket
32:34i'll go for power of attorney
32:36what i'm trying not to do is binge this
32:42yeah
32:43it does ruin it
32:43doesn't say it when you binge it all
32:45i'm trying to do slowly slowly but then you always get some bastard giving you spoilers
32:50yeah
32:50welcome to your second game
32:52oh shh
32:53this is it
32:53this is it
32:53let's let's go on that
32:54the game you will be playing is
32:56catch
32:58he's going yes i'm good at catch
33:00i'm good at catch
33:02oh jesus
33:03i am
33:04you're good at everything sean
33:05if this is about catching
33:07and you're involved
33:08i'm i'm stressed
33:10no
33:10i'm obviously not the best catcher in the world
33:13i've seen you catch
33:14i've seen you throw
33:15it gave me the ick
33:16a thrower will stand on the centre spot
33:19and throw the ball to someone at the front of one of the lines
33:22it sounds too simple really
33:23it can't be that easy
33:24it's not straightforward
33:25you want to be at the front of this game
33:27to catch the ball
33:28100%
33:28and it's closest
33:29and you're guaranteed to go through
33:31yeah
33:31if the ball is dropped
33:33both the thrower and the catcher
33:35will be
33:37eliminated
33:38oh
33:39oh
33:41fuming
33:42so you can't just do a shit throw
33:44because you both are out
33:47i want to throw something out
33:48this is going to be a little crazy
33:49okay
33:49i'm ready for that
33:51let's listen to your crazy idea
33:52the one throwing it
33:54is going to be judging who's going to catch it
33:56they're going to judge mark a lot
33:57why are you picking on mark
34:018272 that's rude
34:03what the fuck have i done
34:04so they're going to judge mark harsher than the rest of us
34:08what
34:08why is he saying that
34:10i don't know
34:11that is ruthless
34:12just singling him out
34:13because of the way he looks
34:15people judge you mark and if they judge you and they say hey we're not going to throw to you
34:20then everybody behind you including you is going to be safe
34:24oh
34:24so he's saying no one's going to think he can catch
34:28yeah
34:29so everyone behind him is safe
34:30so let's put him up top
34:32that's really mean
34:33i kind of like it but it's fucking mean
34:36yeah
34:37oh he's upset
34:42oh he's crying
34:44and it's all because of 272
34:46let the game
34:47begin
34:49okay
34:49so who does she throw it to you now
34:51somebody in the front of the queue
34:53you got this
34:53i'm just going to lie to you okay
34:56you should be able to catch that
34:57come on
34:58absolutely
34:58nice easy throw
34:59well if you don't get that then you're bloody useless
35:02okay ready
35:02lovely well done
35:05nice woo
35:06easy peasy
35:07so does that mean he's the thrower now
35:09player 432
35:13oh it's easy this
35:15not very far is it
35:16even though i think i could manage that laura
35:18are you a good catcher
35:19i can catch
35:21272 he was the one who was horrible to mark wasn't he
35:24please drop it
35:25i want 272 to be eliminated now
35:28eliminate him now
35:29oh yeah man this is going to be sick
35:32it's like i caught it already
35:33ready
35:34he's got to go the whole way down the blue
35:36oh it's far darling
35:38that is far
35:39overarm
35:42what are you doing
35:43underarm okay
35:44it's got to be underarm
35:46oh
35:50wow
35:52he's just dropped the goods
35:53that is karma
35:54served
35:55cold
35:56yeah
35:56oh
35:59love that bet
36:01i don't know why it shocks me when they get shot
36:04every time it happens
36:05oh god it's mark
36:10oh here's mark i hope he gets
36:12oh i'm me
36:12you think you've got it mark 100%
36:15i'm going to catch the ball
36:17i know tv they built this moment up for this moment
36:20he's got this
36:21you got it
36:22i got this
36:23i know you do
36:24jeez he'll be more nervous
36:26you're making me nervous
36:28oh it's a shit throw
36:34oh that's a bit short
36:36step forward step forward
36:37oh no
36:41get it get it mark
36:42get it mark
36:43has he got it love
36:44oh
36:46mark
36:48oh shit a brick he dropped it
36:51oh
36:51jeez
36:52stop
36:53no
36:53i'm so sorry
36:56i'm so sorry
36:58oh he's so apologetic look
37:02he does a good death though
37:08he does
37:09the man can die very well
37:11that was a good death that man
37:13that was amazing
37:14yeah
37:15like he can't catch for shit
37:17but he can act
37:17in edinburgh
37:27what do you think of my hair
37:28well i was going to say you had your hair cut
37:30it's quite short
37:31it's not cut
37:32it's been scalped
37:34sisters susie and rosie
37:36did he ask or did he just do
37:38oh he just did
37:39he never asked
37:40and the thing is he won't let me wear my glasses
37:42so you can't see
37:43no i can't see
37:44so he just cuts and cuts
37:46and we're chatting away
37:47and i never know
37:48and then suddenly at the end
37:49and what did you say
37:50i said it was lovely
37:51on monday
37:56the bbc was making the headlines on itv news
38:00what did you do that for
38:03i think that was a mistake mary
38:04i was trying to kick it off
38:06i always forget about the news over at weekend as well
38:08it's like monday's a bit of a reset
38:10to find out what's going on with the world
38:12what's happened over at weekend
38:13since we've been gallivanting
38:15the chair of the bbc has apologised for an error of judgment within the organisation
38:21over the editing of a documentary about donald trump
38:24i heard about this on bbc radio 2 this morning on their news programme but then what's funny
38:33is it's when the bbc's got a scandal and the bbc news reports on it
38:37director general tim davy and head of news debra turness both stepped down last night
38:42you know when they say heads should roll
38:44well that's a very very
38:46they actually have rolled
38:48very big heads that have rolled
38:49after criticism that the panorama programme misled viewers
38:53by editing a speech made by the u.s. president
38:56panorama as well
38:57yeah which is a national institution
38:59that's a go-to for solid news
39:02yeah they're gonna do a panorama about this panorama
39:05yeah panorama about panorama man
39:07pan-a-panorama
39:08a panorama programme about donald trump
39:11edited together two parts of his speech in 2021
39:14here's a scene of the crime padders
39:16that was spoken nearly an hour apart
39:19oh actually that's not great is it
39:22this is what they used
39:24we're gonna walk down
39:25to the capital
39:26and i'll be there with you
39:28oh wow
39:29and we fight
39:31we fight like hell
39:33and if you don't fight like hell
39:35you're not gonna have a country anymore
39:36that sounds like something trump would say
39:39100%
39:39and this is what he actually said
39:41what did he actually say
39:43what did he actually say
39:45what did he say
39:45we're gonna walk down
39:47to the capital
39:48that's where he stops you see
39:50stops
39:51so we're not going to go and fight
39:52no
39:53what did he say
39:55and we're gonna cheer on
39:56our brave senators and congressmen and women
40:01poor panorama thinking
40:02yeah
40:03because i can imagine
40:05if you want to shed
40:06donald trump in a bad light
40:09there's enough actual footage out there
40:11yeah
40:12why do this
40:13the u.s president wrote last night
40:15the top people in the bbc
40:17including tim davy the boss
40:19are all quitting
40:20fired because they were caught
40:21doctoring my very good
40:23perfect speech of january 6th
40:26i love that in brackets
40:27perfect
40:28yeah
40:28exclamation mark
40:29close brackets
40:30i mean it's kind of a flex to be personally named by the president of the united states
40:36no matter what the circumstances
40:38but still you know the pair of them had to lose the jobs
40:44and later this happened
40:47but everything's a bit somber in the bbc newsroom everyone's on eggshells
40:54good evening the bbc is tonight being threatened with a billion dollar legal action by donald trump
40:59who says he might sue the corporation over the editing of a speech put out in a panorama program last year
41:10that could ruin them financially
41:12not eat and ruin our lives we don't want the bbc shop down
41:15he does it everywhere donald if he gets anything anyone he threatens to sue him
41:20he's always makes a lot of money
41:21they might go and start seizing goods
41:23yeah
41:23you know greg james's microphone seized
41:26queen vick flogged
41:28yeah imagine oh
41:30the last eastenders duftuff been played
41:33yeah
41:33strictly's had the disco ball taken
41:36and there's no more fake tan
41:38gone
41:39blackpool week that's gone down the shit pan
41:41not the budget for that now
41:42all i'm saying is you know when you think you're having a bad day
41:45in all
41:49hey i thought about you yesterday jen at wednesday market
41:52oh did you
41:53i got you a present
41:54that's a belt
41:55best friends jenny and lee
41:57that's no good for me
41:59look at the size of it
42:00oh i thought it would be
42:01it looks more like a bloody dog collar than a belt
42:04no it was belts
42:05the stall said belts
42:06what
42:11it's a frigging dog harness
42:13on monday night
42:16it was business as usual
42:17with the cops and robbers on channel 5
42:20this is the program where they hardly ever catch anyone isn't it
42:23yes
42:23i had to intercept ray in the fridge the other day
42:26god i just caught him in time
42:28whack and bang the fridge door real quick
42:30it went
42:30ow
42:31oh wait you've had enough
42:33you've had enough now
42:34i would like to do an advanced driving course
42:40i actually would
42:41you need one
42:42because you're a shocking driver
42:44mid-afternoon on the motorway
42:46and drivers have no idea what's motoring up behind them
42:49they have no idea what's motoring up behind them
42:52they said the one-liners are awful isn't it
42:54i swear you write them to him
42:56cops are racing in numbers to try and reach a suspected stolen car
43:01oh here we go
43:02the car thereafter was allegedly stolen by a gang wielding machetes
43:06oh
43:07wielding machetes
43:09huh
43:09shit
43:10couldn't get a bit tasty this self
43:11it could
43:12luckily the national police air service has swooped in to keep tabs on the target
43:16the birds on them the birds on them
43:18they've planned to box in the beamer with multiple armed response vehicles
43:22oh the box in the tactic
43:23i love this
43:24yeah i know you do
43:25let's go between lanes one and two
43:28back to one
43:29i will give them that it is quite smooth the changing of lanes and they did indicate
43:34which you can't be done for that
43:37yeah
43:37committed committed m6
43:40oh god don't go on the m6 you've fucked it now
43:43terrible idea
43:44worst idea
43:45if these guys ever
43:46pack up a bus stop and just get out
43:47a marked car is neck and neck with their target at 130 miles an hour
43:52good golly miss molly that is terrifying
43:56my van couldn't do that struggles
43:58and at last
44:00they have the requisite three behind and one in front
44:04three behind one in front that sounds like a good weekend to me
44:07but with traffic at a standstill ahead
44:09oh yes
44:11come on
44:12a static
44:13oh they've got him
44:15it's busy
44:16finally a bit of traffic
44:17we've not had any of that
44:19i was questioning whether or not it was a uk road
44:21close up close up
44:23this is a good time to box in
44:26box in no
44:27but it's too late
44:30oh no
44:31very crappy
44:33how embarrassing
44:34jesus christ
44:35he's a bugger isn't he
44:37you see you should never leave gaps when there's traffic like that because every bloody arsehole speeds down and jumps in
44:43okay
44:43it's now racing down the hard shoulder with just one car in pursuit
44:48but he's not going to be able to pull off anywhere is he
44:51no
44:51have you ever been pulled off on the motorway
44:54what air support can see but the runaway can't
44:59is a broken down lorry on the hard shoulder ahead
45:03and the driver slams on the anchors coming to a stop with inches to spare
45:12oh
45:14oh
45:15bon appetit
45:17he's finished now
45:18he ain't going nowhere
45:19it should be game over
45:21no look he's going to go through that gap
45:23start taking
45:24push up
45:25push up
45:25yes
45:26that's it
45:27tactical contact
45:29and this time
45:29he's done
45:30yes
45:31they've got him
45:32they've got him
45:33yes
45:34it's over
45:34surely
45:35get out of the vehicle
45:37get out of the vehicle
45:39drag him out of the window
45:40oh do you know what there was a small apartment rooting for the X3
45:43me too a little bit but they've got machetes Daniela
45:46oh
45:46oh
45:46they've got him he's on the ground
45:51oh let us see their faces
45:53how old are you
45:5416
45:5516
45:5616
45:58what
45:58the same age as my son
46:00I swear to god
46:02send him to me
46:03bring him come
46:05bring him come to me
46:07yeah I remember when I was 16
46:09just done my GCSEs
46:10first thing I did was steal a car
46:12yeah
46:13you couldn't even ride a bike
46:14could you
46:17you can stream
46:24come dine with me teens right now
46:27not streaming now
46:28come tidy up after yourselves teens
46:30not in my house anyway
46:31getting away from it all will simmer and erupt
46:34from the bestseller
46:35summer water begins Sunday evening at nine
46:38speaking of bestsellers
46:40Richard Osman
46:40joins the last leg next
46:42before you go of the morning
46:48to hear me
46:50come to people
46:50about the new world
46:50earth
46:51and i can stand
46:51for you
46:52thank you
46:52for that
46:53scripture
46:53and
46:54how you do
46:54forgive my
46:55i am I wonder of you
46:56what's stage anymore
46:56can be you
46:57what's stage again
46:57what's stage again
46:58what's stage when I was
46:58the Oscar
46:58with some of the
47:02creator
47:02of the
47:02other
47:03mozzarella
47:04weapons
47:04over and
47:05I wonder have to hear all that
47:06mają
47:06anything
47:07to hear all that
47:08for you
47:09Ferr 각
47:10over and
47:10which
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