Gogglebox - Season 26 Episode 01
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#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
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00:00No, no se unirlo.
00:01No, no se unirlo.
00:03I'll put it off.
00:04Oh, thank you.
00:06Just be careful.
00:07What?
00:08Don't cut my top.
00:08Oh, I won't cut your top.
00:10No, I don't.
00:12Oh.
00:15Hurry up.
00:16Oh, you want that?
00:17I missed it.
00:18That's you pulling it.
00:19Oh, I told you not to do it.
00:20That's you.
00:21You don't friggin' listen to her.
00:23What did I say?
00:28Yes.
00:28Oh, happy days.
00:30Oh, Daniela, I like this.
00:31He's gone and done and did it.
00:33I don't trust him because he's teototall.
00:34Oh, no, no.
00:36Quick, take that in there.
00:37Convoluted that.
00:39Oh, no, no.
00:40What a waste of a muffin.
00:42What's that?
00:44Unacceptable.
00:45Yeah.
00:46No, no, no.
00:48Is that it?
00:50There's not much evidence of man boob, is Sir Mary?
00:52Oh, I hate Swiss roll.
00:53Oh, no.
00:54Oh, no.
00:56Oh, he's a badger.
00:57He hates his badger.
00:59Oh, man, he's got one in and one out.
01:02Was that good for you as it was for me?
01:06In the week Donald Trump confirmed he wasn't dead,
01:09we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:12BBC One had gone speed dating.
01:15Yeah, it's a lovely place.
01:16Not the warmest, but lovely.
01:18Yeah.
01:18I don't have any flirting skills.
01:21Do you know what?
01:22When me and Toby first met, I remember saying to my friends,
01:24like, oh, my God, I don't like this, I don't like that,
01:26and they were like, is he?
01:28He's just trying to flirt with you.
01:30Why?
01:30What were he doing?
01:32I just thought I thought he were cocky.
01:35Oh, I thought Toby were cocky when I first met him.
01:38Were you trying to flirt with me too?
01:39Paul had his beady eyes on the bakers on Channel 4.
01:46They risked serving Paul and Prue a Swiss roll without its signature swell.
01:50That would give me the heebie-jeebies with him standing at the end of my desk,
01:53wouldn't it, you?
01:55If he's standing at the end of my bed, I'd be really creeped out.
01:57I wouldn't mind that so much.
01:58And it was a new term in our favourite Yorkshire school.
02:04I mean, they're allowed to wear trousers now.
02:09We couldn't wear trousers at school.
02:11You never used to wear a skirt?
02:12You used to roll it up to your crotch?
02:14Yeah, I did when I was coming home off the bus
02:16because I like the lad at the garage.
02:25In Surrey...
02:26Shea, you got the vote here.
02:28Whose oxtail do you love the most in this house?
02:31I have to give it to Dad.
02:32Oh!
02:33I do have to give it to Dad.
02:34It's got the nice brown colour and it's just...
02:38Ooh!
02:39And the pressure cooker...
02:40Ooh!
02:41Let's stop there, Shea.
02:41Let's stop there.
02:42Meet Sarah, her husband Andre,
02:44and their daughter, Shea.
02:47One thing I will give to you, Mum.
02:48What's that?
02:49Mum's curry goat is better than yours, Pops.
02:51I'm so sorry, Shea, no.
02:53Never, never, never, never.
02:53That curry mutton, ooh!
02:55Never, never, never, never, never.
02:56I'm so sorry I would like to give that one to Mum.
02:58Never, never, Shea, I didn't cook it ever.
02:59Yours is too Vinci-style.
03:01We need a punch.
03:02Next time I'm cooking, you can have chicken Kiev.
03:09On Tuesday night, there was a new batch of bakers
03:12hoping to rise to the occasion on Channel 4.
03:17Voila!
03:19It's a bit posh, that, innit?
03:20Baker.
03:22I like watching this because I cannot bake or cook.
03:25Really, at all.
03:25I wouldn't say that.
03:26Your toast's pretty good.
03:29Oh, the lady next door gave me some apple pie yesterday.
03:32It was bloody lovely.
03:33Oh, absolutely.
03:34She even asked if I wanted custard, and I thought, I can't be so cheeky.
03:40Do you know why?
03:40Why?
03:41She thinks you're old.
03:42It's like Meals on Wheels.
03:43Yeah, well, I don't mind.
03:44Bring it on.
03:49I told her what I want for me breakfast.
03:53Is it I've moved on from Paul Hollywood now?
03:55It's Andy's Dinosaurs.
03:58Yeah.
03:58Andy Day from CBB's fame.
04:01So, for your first ever challenge...
04:04We all like a challenge.
04:05Yeah.
04:06The judges would like you to make a Swiss roll.
04:09Oh.
04:10Yeah.
04:10That's a good one.
04:12I used to do Swiss roll at school.
04:13Do you want a tissue?
04:14Oh, God.
04:15You're dribbling out your chin.
04:16That's what I used to do at school, Swiss roll.
04:19Your Swiss roll must be beautifully decorated.
04:22And your sponge must have an inlay design.
04:25An inlay design, what's the hell's that?
04:28Well, I don't know.
04:29How do you shove that in a Swiss roll, innit?
04:31And be rolled with at least two different fillings.
04:34Two different fillings?
04:36Creating the perfect swirl.
04:38Oh, I get it.
04:39Yeah, I see.
04:41Oh, I hate Swiss roll.
04:42Oh, no.
04:43I don't think that's that difficult, is it?
04:45Right.
04:46On your marks.
04:47Get set.
04:48Bake.
04:49Let's go.
04:50Slightly overwhelmed.
04:52How can you get overwhelmed over a Swiss roll?
04:55I'm very nervous.
04:56Still quite shaky, to be honest.
04:58Well, I suppose that'll help you sift in the flour.
05:02Oh.
05:03Oh!
05:04Good start from Hassan.
05:05He's broken the sieve.
05:07I'll be saying, defective tools already.
05:09His decadent bake will see him roll chocolate sponge around thick caramel on a milk chocolate
05:15and coffee ganache.
05:16Okay.
05:16All right, Hassan.
05:17Sounds like a bit of me.
05:18Coffee and caramel.
05:20Really?
05:20It's a lot.
05:21Now, would you pull your ganache out on week one?
05:23Well, yeah.
05:25But in the showstopper.
05:27Yeah.
05:27That'll really take Paul's breath away.
05:29Yeah.
05:29All that almond.
05:30A battered ganache.
05:32It's crucial every curd, jam and ganache is cool before the bakers begin assembling.
05:38Yeah, otherwise it's just going to be a hot sloppy mess, isn't it?
05:41My caramel.
05:42See, it's not quite bad.
05:44I'll have to do it again.
05:45Oh, no, Hassan.
05:47That is not looking good for you, brother.
05:49My gravy looks like that.
05:52Never turn your back on caramel.
05:54No, always stir.
05:56The rest of the bakers are starting to assemble.
05:58Assembling it already?
05:59What?
06:00Oh, come on.
06:01And Hassan's still making his caramel.
06:02The caramel's still quite soft.
06:04Uh-oh.
06:05I mean, it looks good, but it's going to be a horrible mess.
06:07Oh, you can't roll liquid.
06:10I've got to roll it up.
06:12This is going to go everywhere.
06:14Oh, it's all coming out the sides.
06:16Oh, it's a swimming pool.
06:19Oh, Hassan, it's a swimming pool of caramel.
06:23Oh, it's got no stability.
06:25Oh, man, I'm having with it.
06:27Oh, come on.
06:30Oh, no, I'll still eat it, though.
06:32I'll still eat it.
06:33I've had a mare.
06:34I've had a right mare.
06:36Oh, no, no.
06:38Oh, my God.
06:40I mean, he didn't even try and, like, move it with a palette knife or something.
06:43He literally just picked it up with his fists.
06:45Bakers, your time is up.
06:53Oh, look, he knows he's done it wrong.
06:56If I was Hassan right now, I'd just walk out.
06:58I'd just be like, I'd be like, thank you for the opportunity.
07:01Please step away from your Swiss rolls.
07:04Step well back, Hassan.
07:09Hassan.
07:11What is that?
07:14That's not even...
07:16Sir Hassan, not your best morning.
07:19Yeah, quite disappointed in myself.
07:21It looks like a roulade rather than a Swiss roll.
07:23Oh, Paul's there to stick the boat in, cool sears.
07:25At least it looks like something.
07:30Wow.
07:31What do you reckon?
07:32What does it taste like?
07:33Flavour-wise, stunning.
07:34Absolutely delicious.
07:35At least it tastes delicious, every cloud.
07:37Yeah.
07:37There you go.
07:38Man smashed it.
07:39Actually, it might look like shite, but it tastes all right.
07:42Looks like it's been dropped out of a tree.
07:44It's flat.
07:48And that's putting it politely.
07:50Just a tree.
07:51He could have gone higher, to be fair.
07:53Yeah.
07:56In Yorkshire...
07:57So here are puppies.
07:59They're all orange, pink, blue, green, yellow, brown.
08:03Meet Sarah and her daughter-in-law, Lara.
08:06Yeah, for one more week and then you go.
08:09You will miss them.
08:10She won't miss them, though.
08:11The mother never does.
08:12No.
08:13It's quite extraordinary.
08:13Well, she'll keep one.
08:14She'll keep one, yes.
08:15It'll be fun.
08:16Are you little, little munchkins?
08:18Aren't you all little munchkins?
08:20They'll probably all wee on us a minute, but never mind.
08:25On Friday, there were more shenanigans on the cobbles on ITV.
08:30Are you ready for some curry?
08:31I'm always ready for some curry.
08:33I thought that.
08:34Some things are guanning in Coronation Street, I can tell you that.
08:37Mm-hmm.
08:39Oh!
08:43You're going to have to give me full backstory of curry.
08:47I will.
08:48I've been binge-watching curry because I missed a week on holiday, won't I?
08:52Kevin's brother, Carl, has come over from Germany
08:55and he's been doing the okey-cokey with Kevin's wife.
08:58Riveting stuff, Julie.
08:59What have I forgotten?
09:01I've got my passport, phone charge of wine, gums.
09:05They're having the affair.
09:07Right.
09:07She's about to go on holiday with her husband.
09:09OK.
09:10You know, I'm not happy about you going on holiday with another man.
09:12You're a brother.
09:13Yeah.
09:14It's not another man, it's your brother and her husband, love.
09:17It's you I want to be with, all right?
09:18There'll be no funny business with Kevin, I promise.
09:20You're on holiday.
09:21That's why you go on holiday.
09:25Hi, babe.
09:28And here's Tracy.
09:29You passed the deadline.
09:30We're working on it.
09:31We'll work harder then.
09:32Tracy's obviously blackmailing them because she's found out.
09:35Ten grand she wants.
09:37Tracy wants ten grand off them?
09:38Yeah.
09:39To not tell Kevin?
09:40Yeah.
09:40What exactly was it that made you such a vindictive cow?
09:45Tell her, Abby.
09:46Nobody wants you.
09:47Nobody wants me.
09:48Yep.
09:49Carl does.
09:50Oh, has he been knocking Tracy off?
09:53Tracy's been flinging herself at Carl and that's how she's ended up getting wind of this affair
09:57because she gave her the knock back.
09:59Tracy, Carl would never fancy you.
10:02I mean, come on.
10:03I mean, come on.
10:06That is like laying down a challenge.
10:09Carl would never fancy you.
10:12And then she might think, oh, yes, well, let's see if I can make him.
10:16Your hot pot will be five minutes, Tops.
10:18Really?
10:19I've already been waiting half an hour.
10:20You're telling me they're never doing the still and hot pot in the Rovers?
10:23Yeah, they do.
10:24She's been dead years, Betty Terpyn.
10:26Yeah, but she had loads in the freezer.
10:30That'll be £2.50 for the juice, please.
10:33Thank you.
10:35Can you get a drink, mate?
10:36Oh, he's a bit of all right.
10:37Look at his muscles.
10:39He's a PT trainer, you can tell.
10:41No, thanks.
10:42Do you know what you need?
10:44New life?
10:45A good workout.
10:46Oh, here's trouble.
10:48Oh, look, there's Tracy.
10:49There's Tracy's coming at an awkward moment.
10:52James, not in the mood, mate.
10:55There's nothing like getting all hot and sweaty to make you forget your worries.
10:58Nothing like getting out and sweaty to forget your worries.
11:01That's what's got me in this mess in the first place, Tiger.
11:03Off you fuck.
11:06You know, James is right.
11:08Nothing like getting down and dirty to take your mind off stuff.
11:11Oh, I see.
11:13Yeah.
11:13Oh, dear.
11:14I mean, she literally is like a doggone heat.
11:17Yeah, a bitch, if you like.
11:19Sorry, a bitch on heat.
11:24What's this now?
11:25Oh, where is she?
11:26This is his room.
11:27This is Kyle's room in the hotel.
11:30What are you doing here?
11:35What's he doing?
11:36Why is he hot and sweaty?
11:37Have you got showered for me?
11:39Let it go, woman.
11:41She's pretty obvious.
11:42She's not giving up, is she?
11:44No, she's like a dog with a bone, Tracer.
11:46Tracer, you're pathetic.
11:47I'm not interested.
11:48How many ways can you say no?
11:50Clearly, you prefer it the hard way.
11:53So, I want my money.
11:56What a wicked woman.
11:58So, basically, she's saying if she doesn't get the deed,
11:59she needs to get paid.
12:01Oh, wow.
12:02What he should have said, also, would that clear the debt?
12:06Would it clear the debt, Nutty?
12:07It could be like a gigolo.
12:10But she probably hates her.
12:12A gigolo of Manchester.
12:13Wait, wait, wait, wait.
12:19Who's there?
12:20Who's there?
12:20Someone's there.
12:24That wasn't your biggest fan again, was it?
12:26Oh!
12:27No!
12:28Oh, bagel!
12:29Oh!
12:29Ha-ha!
12:30What the fuck?
12:32Yo!
12:34Correlation Street!
12:36You're doing us like this!
12:38No!
12:45That's very modern, isn't it, Nutty?
12:47No-one saw that coming.
12:48No.
12:49Ha-ha!
12:50I was not expecting that!
12:52That is the biggest curveball!
12:55Fucking brilliant.
12:56Correlation Street has ever thrown.
12:58In Manchester...
13:07Helena, I need you to try this cardy on,
13:10cos I need to check how long you want the sleeves.
13:13OK.
13:14Alison, her husband, George, and her daughter, Helena.
13:17See, you've got a balloon sleeve, do you see?
13:21So what you want me to do is cuff it to become a balloon sleeve,
13:25or I can leave it as a bell-end.
13:27Which would you like?
13:29I'll cuff it, please, so you stop saying bell-end.
13:34On Wednesday night,
13:35some singletons were paired up in paradise on BBC One.
13:39Dating shows, there's enough of them, innit?
13:41There's too many.
13:42There's too many.
13:43Which ones are they?
13:44There's...
13:45Blind date.
13:46Andre.
13:47Blind date!
13:47I'm showing your age now, oh, my God.
13:49Blind date!
13:50Andre.
13:51Far from the distractions of home,
13:5312 singles looking for lifelong love.
13:58I've seen this advertised.
13:59It's basically a load of singletons.
14:01They meet, quickly get married,
14:04then they're basically just left on a desert island for three weeks.
14:08Will they thrive in isolation and find love?
14:11Oh, it's Davina!
14:12I'd like to pick Davina McCall.
14:14Yeah, can you imagine?
14:16And how do you feel about your partner?
14:18I'd appreciate the host, actually.
14:20Stranded on Honeymoon Island.
14:24So it's basically Survivor,
14:26married at first night,
14:27slash love island.
14:28It is literally a dating reality show, Orgy.
14:32I am May, originally from Mansfield,
14:34but now living in London.
14:36Aw, May's cute.
14:37May looks like a normal, nice girl, doesn't she?
14:40So my last proper boyfriend,
14:43unfortunately there was an accident.
14:46Oh no, he died.
14:48Oh Jesus.
14:49Where he fell.
14:51Aw.
14:52Oh God, that's not good.
14:54Into his colleague's vagina.
14:58You've got to be careful.
14:59You can trip up and fall into anything nowadays.
15:02Yeah, he basically left me for his colleague.
15:05Oh my God, she...
15:07What the...
15:07May's got a bit of something about her, okay.
15:08What's so bad?
15:09Okay.
15:10After a bit of speed dating...
15:12Where are you from?
15:13I'm from Edinburgh, Scotland.
15:14Oh.
15:15Hey.
15:16Hi.
15:16Representing, my man.
15:18I love how she's your...
15:18Oh.
15:20God, that's nice.
15:22Oh.
15:23I mean, those in glass houses,
15:24if she's from Mansfield.
15:25Oh, yeah.
15:27It was time for May to discover
15:29who she was tying the knot with.
15:31Woo.
15:31I'm so...
15:32I'm so relieved to see you here.
15:33Yeah, me too.
15:34Oh, it's a relief.
15:36Oh, well, they're happy.
15:37That's good.
15:37Yeah.
15:38If I manifested this right,
15:40number 25 is standing in front of me.
15:41What did she say?
15:42If I've manifested this right,
15:43number 25 is standing in front of me.
15:45He was number 25.
15:46I mean, I've actually just put insert number.
15:49Yeah.
15:49If I've manifested this right,
15:52insert number will be stood in front of me.
15:54I've been through some tough times
15:58when it's come to love.
15:59It's not that I was too much,
16:00it's that they weren't enough.
16:03I love how he's just putting his lid there.
16:05He's thinking,
16:05shit,
16:06you've got a bit of a live wire here.
16:08At this point,
16:09he looks like he's got regret
16:10for signing off for this show.
16:11I promise to be the most loyal person
16:14you've ever met,
16:15to love you with the biggest,
16:17purest heart.
16:18It's quite deep,
16:18this, isn't it?
16:19Yeah.
16:19To be your partner in crime,
16:21your biggest cheerleader.
16:22No.
16:23Oh, she's still going.
16:24How many words has she crammed on that bitter card?
16:27Yeah.
16:28That's beautiful.
16:29Thank you.
16:29OK, let's see what he has to say.
16:33I vowed to never steal the covers.
16:35OK.
16:35Tick.
16:36Right, that's a good beginning.
16:37I promise to never lose my temper with you.
16:40OK.
16:40That's not going to last.
16:42You might need to lose your temper at some point
16:44or she'll walk all over you, mate.
16:49Any more?
16:51That is the vows.
16:52That is the vows.
16:53Is that it?
16:54What's he done,
16:55written him on the back of a fag package?
16:56He's written him on the way down the jetty.
16:59Shit.
17:01Oh, vows.
17:03One night in of being stranded,
17:05we got to see how newlyweds
17:07May and Morrie were getting along.
17:09I don't think you'll annoy me.
17:11No.
17:11I think you're like,
17:12you're just like, really cute.
17:14I think she's quite keen on him at the minute though,
17:15isn't she?
17:16But they haven't been there about five minutes.
17:17Yeah.
17:19Am I your usual type?
17:20No, you're not.
17:23That was so quick.
17:25He didn't even think about it.
17:27I think that would bother me
17:28if you said it that quick.
17:29Yeah.
17:29I think with you,
17:30I just sort of see,
17:31I like, want to protect you.
17:32Oh, that's nice.
17:34I see you as like a little sister almost.
17:36Oh!
17:38Oh, no, Morrie.
17:40What are you doing?
17:42Oh, fucking hell.
17:43Why have you said that?
17:44Well, there, he said it.
17:45If it's friend zone,
17:46like, sometimes you can get out
17:47with your friends,
17:48do you know what I mean?
17:48Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:49Once you put her in the sister box,
17:51you can't, incest,
17:51you can't touch her.
17:52Yeah, yeah, yeah,
17:53not Adam and Eve out here.
17:54It's the little sister vibes
17:55that I'm getting.
17:56Oh, he said it again.
17:57Oh, my, again!
17:58He said it again.
17:59Always reinforcing it, isn't he?
18:01Well, I suppose at least
18:03he's not led her on.
18:04No, he's telling her.
18:05It's just like,
18:06how I'm feeling right now,
18:07especially with the little sister vibes
18:09and stuff and like...
18:10Are you still going all about it?
18:11Fucking leave it out!
18:12Do you know what?
18:13I actually can't wait
18:14to watch this again.
18:16Just to see how many more times
18:18he says she looks like his sister.
18:24In Leeds...
18:25What do you think of my new shirt?
18:27It's very art teacher.
18:29Very art teacher?
18:30It's very art teacher.
18:32I was on it from a charity shop
18:33this morning.
18:34Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
18:37It's very art teacher.
18:39I just don't know
18:39what my style is.
18:41No, I don't either.
18:43It's a bit Friar Tuck.
18:47I knew it rang a bell somewhere
18:48and I couldn't put my finger on it
18:50but it's nice.
18:50Somebody Friar Tuck.
18:52We don't need a rosary
18:54and a rope belt.
18:55With that haircut as well.
18:59On Sunday night,
19:01Channel 4 was giving us
19:02that back to school feeling
19:04with the return of this.
19:06High school was probably
19:07one of the most hostile environments
19:09I've ever been to.
19:10It's like a prison
19:11with no prison guards.
19:13I feel sorry for teachers
19:14nowadays, I'd be honest.
19:16You wouldn't want to be
19:17a teacher nowadays, would you?
19:18No.
19:18The kids are little bastards.
19:20The feral.
19:21Over a decade ago,
19:23the nation fell in love
19:24with a school in Yorkshire.
19:26I can't believe it's been
19:26ten years since it's been on.
19:27I used to love this show, mate.
19:28I'm so glad it's back.
19:29I know.
19:30Now, the cameras are back.
19:32These lot are insane.
19:33Is it like Waterloo Road?
19:35No!
19:36That's made up.
19:37That's drama.
19:38This is a real school
19:40with real kids
19:41and it's just what's going on
19:42in the school.
19:43It's as if we were both
19:44going to school today
19:45and there was cameras in there.
19:47Oh, you wouldn't want
19:48to be recording me.
19:49No.
19:50Well, I was never in the
19:51classes to be recorded.
19:52Just welcome
19:53to the world of education.
19:56My mum said
19:56I was misunderstood
19:57and because I was ginger,
19:59I always used to stick out.
20:00You were naughty, weren't you?
20:01I was naughty.
20:02Yeah.
20:03And I was at school
20:03with both my sisters-in-law
20:05so when I turned up
20:06to marry their brother,
20:07it was their deepest,
20:08darkest nightmare, wasn't it?
20:09Well, it was quite weird,
20:10I must say.
20:12It's form time
20:13for the year eights
20:14and tutor Mr Geary
20:15is going over
20:16their behaviour points.
20:18He's getting the classic
20:19easily distracted
20:21and then distracts
20:22others on his report.
20:23Yeah, that's what
20:24you used to get.
20:25In our day,
20:26it might have been called
20:26High Spirits Murray
20:28and it would have been
20:29knocked out of you.
20:30I think it's E numbers.
20:31Now, we're going
20:32to do your negatives.
20:33Ethan, one.
20:35Isaac, one.
20:37Nah, boy's struggling.
20:38He's a bit hyper, isn't he?
20:40Riley, nine.
20:42Nine what?
20:43Negatives for last week.
20:44Nah, negative.
20:46Oh.
20:46Oh, I shouldn't laugh.
20:51Do you know who
20:51he reminds me of?
20:52Macaulay Culkin.
20:53Yeah.
20:54We didn't really see
20:55a peep out of Riley
20:57in year seven.
20:58So what's changed?
20:59Yeah.
21:00Something's happened.
21:01What does
21:02give a dee
21:03we believe
21:04or believe
21:04Riley, I've asked you
21:05once, if I have to ask you
21:06again, it'll be a verbal
21:07warning and then
21:08it's in form.
21:09I'm not singing.
21:09Oh, no.
21:10It's funny.
21:15The first step
21:16for Mrs Delaney Hudson
21:17is to carry out
21:18a neurodiversity screening.
21:20There we go.
21:21Oh, this is how
21:22you discover
21:22ADHD and stuff.
21:24You had a dyslexia screening
21:25when you were
21:26five or six
21:28and they said
21:28there might be
21:29a slight chance
21:30that you're dyslexic.
21:31And you are very dyslexic.
21:32And you're like
21:33the most dyslexic person.
21:36Do you have difficulty
21:38making out
21:39the sounds
21:40of words?
21:42Sometimes.
21:44Mmm, no.
21:45Are you doing
21:46this test yourself?
21:47Yeah.
21:47Okay.
21:47Do you find
21:48that you can't
21:48explain why
21:49you did something?
21:51Yeah.
21:52Often.
21:55Aw, sweetheart.
21:56He seems
21:57a compliant
21:58little chap.
22:00Doesn't he?
22:01Mum, Bobby,
22:02has come in
22:03to meet Mrs Delaney Hudson
22:04for the results.
22:05Would there be
22:06anything worse
22:07than your mum
22:07having to come
22:08into school?
22:09Mortifying.
22:10Mortifying, yeah.
22:11Your teacher feedback
22:12is that
22:13you display
22:14more concerning
22:16behaviour traits
22:17after lunch.
22:18After lunch,
22:19something is eating.
22:21Oh.
22:22Diet related, Mary.
22:23That's what you said,
22:24wasn't it?
22:25That's what I suspected.
22:26Well, yeah,
22:27but is he eating
22:28loads of sugary shite
22:29that's making him...
22:30Lunchtime,
22:30making him disruptive,
22:32have too much energy.
22:33Yeah.
22:33So,
22:34average daily diet.
22:36Wheat-a-bix.
22:37Nice.
22:38Well, I'd have said
22:39that's all right.
22:39It's roughage.
22:40Chocolate wheat-a-bix normally.
22:42Chocolate wheat-a-bix.
22:43Yeah.
22:43Sugar, sugar, sugar.
22:44Well,
22:45I've never heard
22:45of chocolate wheat-a-bix.
22:46Oh, Jane, come on.
22:47Yeah, but the man...
22:48Then he puts sugar on him.
22:49Chocolate wheat-a-bix
22:50with sugar!
22:50That's not a crime.
22:52I put sugar
22:52on my wheat-a-bix.
22:53Cup of coffee.
22:55Cup of coffee.
22:56He's having coffee.
22:58It's off his tits.
22:59Then sometimes
22:59he'll take a chew
23:00with Pringles out of cupboard.
23:02I think I used to have,
23:03like, I don't know,
23:03toast or cereal for breakfast.
23:06Toast from a teller on,
23:07toast with jam,
23:08and then you'd go to school
23:09and on your way to school
23:10you'd stop at the shop,
23:11you'd get a bag of Transformers.
23:13Oh, yes.
23:13I'm quite confident
23:14that we might have found
23:15the trigger
23:16as to what
23:17causes
23:18some of his behaviour choices.
23:20Is that it?
23:20It's just loaded up
23:21on sugar and coffee?
23:22Yeah, by the sound of it.
23:23Oh, Miss Marple's
23:24Crankly Kies, sir.
23:26Well, thank you,
23:27Agatha Christie.
23:28Later in the programme,
23:29after a few tweaks
23:30to his diet,
23:32we caught up
23:32with Riley back in class.
23:34Riley, do you want
23:35to read down
23:35to across the land?
23:37The wind was just
23:38getting stronger
23:39and my shirt was floppy.
23:41I felt like
23:42I was up on airship
23:43because the whole
23:44belt frame
23:47was moving.
23:48I think he seems
23:48a lot calmer.
23:49Settling down a bit now,
23:51isn't he?
23:51Now he's not
23:52high as a kite
23:53on sugar.
23:53I'm so jealous
23:54he can read better
23:55than me.
23:56He's also 12,
23:57by the way.
23:57Shut up.
23:58I think I could have
23:59done better in education.
24:00Well, I come out
24:01to school with two GCSEs,
24:02so I definitely
24:03could have done better.
24:04Yeah, you could have
24:05done with going back,
24:06really.
24:06But then I went
24:07to college
24:07and got functional skills,
24:08so it doesn't matter.
24:09Oh, not the functional skills.
24:11in Glasgow.
24:21Up at 5.30 tomorrow.
24:23Do you know what?
24:23Actually, once you're up,
24:25that's the problem.
24:26I had to buy myself
24:26like an alarm clock
24:27that will like ring
24:29at the other side
24:29of the room.
24:30Meet best mates
24:31Jake and Callum.
24:33But once you're up,
24:34it's like,
24:34you get up before
24:35the rest of the city does.
24:36That was great.
24:37Nice.
24:37All right, Batman.
24:38Listen, Arkham needs me.
24:42I'm glad you're
24:43protecting our streets
24:44when I've still got
24:45another two hours
24:46of sleep to get.
24:48On Sunday night,
24:50there was a brand new
24:51game show from
24:52Beyond the Grave
24:53on Channel 4.
24:54I mean, it would be nice,
24:56wouldn't it,
24:57if you just got
24:57a fat inheritance
24:58off somebody,
24:59but it does mean
25:00that somebody has had
25:01to pass to the other side.
25:03No, it wouldn't be wonderful
25:04because you've lost
25:05a loved one.
25:05Well, if it was...
25:06That's the difference
25:07between you and me.
25:08Greed.
25:10No.
25:11If it was someone
25:12that you weren't
25:13that arsed about.
25:18You don't want
25:19tat leaving to your dear.
25:21Most people leave you
25:21tatting.
25:22What are you going
25:22to do with that?
25:23It's all they have
25:24all these house clearances.
25:25Nobody wants it.
25:26All they want
25:26is bricks and mortar
25:27and money.
25:28Yeah, but Lisa
25:29thought that counts.
25:30Fuck the thought.
25:32Hello, darlings.
25:33That's Liz Hurley.
25:35I have some bad news.
25:36Are you ready?
25:37She looks a bit AI.
25:39I don't like bad news.
25:40Looks good though,
25:41doesn't she?
25:41Do you know how old
25:42she is, Jed?
25:42She'll be 70-odd,
25:43I should think.
25:44Oh, yeah, bitch.
25:45Oh, God, sorry.
25:46Here goes.
25:47I'm dead.
25:49Dead.
25:50Dead.
25:50Oh.
25:51Well, you're not, are you?
25:52Because she's just there.
25:54She's just there.
25:54She's not, oh,
25:55unless she recorded it
25:56before she died.
25:57She died.
25:57When one perfectly
25:58proportioned door closes,
26:00another one opens,
26:02and that's where you come in.
26:04Oh, she's speaking
26:05to all the people
26:06who are going to
26:06potentially inherit her wealth.
26:08I've got it.
26:08Each of you
26:09is in with a chance
26:10to get your hands
26:12on my generous assets.
26:15I'll tell you
26:15what, she's talking
26:16my language here.
26:18My inheritance.
26:20Oh.
26:21I need to like Google
26:22if she's dead or not.
26:23She's not dead.
26:25And if she is,
26:26this is in very poor taste.
26:27Good morning.
26:33Oh, we love a bit
26:34of Rob Rinder.
26:36Love Rob Rinder.
26:37He's like whack-a-mole,
26:38not it?
26:38As soon as he's been
26:40finished one thing,
26:41he pops up in another thing.
26:43He does.
26:44In the programme,
26:44Rob set the contestants
26:46off on their first task,
26:48to find, blend
26:49and bottle wine,
26:50some of which
26:51was at the bottom
26:52of a lake.
26:53It's like walking
26:54through soup.
26:56Ah.
26:57Oh, he's gone in.
26:58Get stuck in, go on.
26:59I'm for sure
27:00going in that lake.
27:01Oh, he's straight in
27:03with his head
27:04under the water.
27:05God love him.
27:05Because I'm decent
27:07at swimming
27:07and also,
27:09it's something
27:10that other people
27:10don't want to do.
27:11He's playing the game
27:12already.
27:12Yeah, so it looks
27:13like you've worked
27:14harder.
27:15Yeah.
27:15Doing the stuff
27:16that somebody else
27:17doesn't want to do.
27:18Yeah.
27:18The boy is strong.
27:20Wow.
27:21Come on.
27:22Oh my God.
27:24Everyone's loving
27:25Jesse's like
27:26attitude towards
27:27this.
27:27You'd be like,
27:28guys, I'm sitting
27:29this one out.
27:31I want this money.
27:32I want to contribute.
27:33I want to show
27:34everyone I can be,
27:35you know, I am useful.
27:37Well, don't sub it then.
27:38Leave the bottles
27:38inside.
27:39Leave the bottles
27:40inside.
27:40There's a fucking way.
27:41It feels like what
27:41most corporate away days
27:43end up spiraling into.
27:44Shut up.
27:45Shut up.
27:46I'm in a motion
27:46right now.
27:47Let me work.
27:48Shut up, please.
27:49Oh.
27:50She's not making any
27:51mates telling him
27:51to shut up, is she?
27:53It's really not
27:54given teamwork, is it?
27:55Yeah.
27:56It's given,
27:57they're going to hate
27:57you, girl.
27:58Oh my God,
27:59that whole raft
27:59is just going to sink.
28:00All those bottles.
28:02Oh no,
28:02they've lost them all.
28:03They're losing it.
28:04Oh, crumbs.
28:05So now they've lost
28:05bottles and those
28:06bottles is money.
28:09Yep.
28:09Oh shit,
28:11Zara's going to get
28:11rinsed for that.
28:13A bit later,
28:14after more fighting,
28:15Rinda was back
28:16with his big red book.
28:18Today you're
28:18successfully released
28:20£5,600.
28:25Very nice.
28:26Ooh.
28:27Can I get a whoop whoop?
28:28Those who think
28:29they contributed most
28:31must step forward
28:32as a claimant.
28:34Jessie,
28:34step forward
28:35right now.
28:36Don't tell me
28:37Zara's going to
28:38put herself forward.
28:38She ain't done now.
28:40Today I feel like
28:40I am the most
28:42valuable player.
28:43Go on, Jess.
28:46There you go.
28:47I object
28:48straight away.
28:51I cannot believe
28:52Zara is sat up there.
28:53The audacity,
28:55the absolute audacity.
28:57The audacity,
28:59the five cents.
29:02You guys should be...
29:03That's my bestie.
29:05What do you want to say?
29:06Do you want to just...
29:07When somebody is
29:08chatting out their arse,
29:10I have to stop them?
29:12Whoa!
29:13Shutting out their arse!
29:16Love it.
29:17This is what the show
29:18is all about.
29:20The jury...
29:21...has chosen Jessie
29:24as prime beneficiary.
29:25Jessie!
29:27Thank God.
29:29Jessie,
29:30you've inherited
29:31£5,600.
29:33That's a lot of money.
29:34It's now time to go
29:36to the strong room.
29:37What's the strong room?
29:38The what?
29:39What is that?
29:40That sounds really off,
29:41like, really...
29:42I'm not going to be
29:45Kristen Gray, though.
29:45That's what it sounds like!
29:47Jessie,
29:48welcome to the strong room.
29:50Right?
29:51What?
29:51You've got a decision to make.
29:54You may gift up to half of it
29:55to any of the members
29:56of the jury.
29:57You could buy a second-hand
29:58Skoda Yeti
29:59for that, Nutty.
30:00It's what we paid
30:01for ours, wasn't it?
30:02You can, of course,
30:03decide to keep it all.
30:04Oh, keep it all.
30:05Yeah.
30:06Now, Jessie,
30:07whether you choose
30:07to disclose
30:08what happens in this room
30:09is entirely up to you.
30:12There's the sneaky bit here,
30:13though.
30:13Yeah.
30:14Do you know what?
30:15I'd just say that
30:16I did put it in
30:17some in everybody's box.
30:19Yeah!
30:20And I'd keep it for myself.
30:22It's now time to decide.
30:24At the end of the day,
30:25the game is the game.
30:27Exactly, mate.
30:28This man's changed.
30:29I still love him.
30:31I don't care.
30:33He's playing a game
30:33and he's playing it right.
30:34That decision would be
30:35so easy for me.
30:36Like, keeping my money.
30:38Honestly, I'm not sharing it.
30:39None of them did
30:40as much as Jessie did.
30:41Let's be honest.
30:42So, if Gran left us
30:44at inheritance,
30:45you wouldn't share it?
30:47If she said,
30:48oh, it's all going to
30:48go to your money,
30:49would you not feel bad?
30:51And then think,
30:51why would I?
30:53Why would I?
30:55So, what if I'm living
30:56in the slums
30:56and you're out here
30:57kicking it off
30:58in a mansion?
30:59How's that right?
31:00Sorry.
31:01It's just your fate.
31:02What can I do?
31:06In the Cotswolds...
31:08Have you seen the, um...
31:09The village group, darling?
31:11There's two feral cats
31:13that hunt
31:13in the village.
31:14Yet again,
31:15the village WhatsApp group
31:16is enlightening the world.
31:18Meet Andrew
31:19and his husband, Alfie.
31:22Somebody in one of the big houses
31:23is being called out
31:23for, um...
31:25Potentially, um...
31:27Promoting the feral cats
31:29to cull off the pigeon population,
31:31which seems to plague us.
31:31You are having a laugh.
31:33I mean,
31:33there are a lot of rutting pigeons
31:34in the village at the moment.
31:36That's what that flapping was
31:37in the hedge the other night.
31:38Yeah.
31:38I thought it was
31:40the next-door neighbour
31:41doing something
31:42with their sort of mats
31:43from their car or something.
31:45You know,
31:45when you shake a mat out
31:46from a car,
31:46it sounds like that.
31:47Yeah, no.
31:48And then I thought
31:49it was a bird
31:49stuck in the hedge.
31:50Oh, yeah.
31:51No, they, um...
31:52Then I realised
31:52it's not.
31:53It's just pigeon shagging, yeah.
31:55On Saturday,
31:56there were more twists and turns
31:57from across the pond
31:58on the BBC.
32:00I'm interested in what's going on.
32:01Absolutely.
32:02I can't understand anybody.
32:03I say,
32:03oh, I hate politics
32:04because the life is politics,
32:06isn't it?
32:07Somebody said to me once
32:08they were going to start
32:09a happy news channel.
32:10That was me.
32:11Oh, that was you.
32:12You were about to slate it.
32:14I think it's a brilliant idea.
32:16The dogs are watching the news, Ellie.
32:17Oh, my God.
32:18Look at them.
32:19They are fixated.
32:22Very highbrow, my dogs.
32:25Good afternoon.
32:26President Trump
32:27has criticised
32:28a US appeals court ruling
32:29that has found
32:30many of his global tariffs
32:31to be illegal.
32:33I'm not even shocked anymore.
32:34Of course he is.
32:36That's so Trump.
32:37It deemed he had unlawfully
32:39invoked emergency powers
32:40to impose them.
32:41I don't trust him
32:42because he's T-Total.
32:43This is short of character for him.
32:45The ruling doesn't take effect
32:47until mid-October,
32:48which would give the US government
32:50time to ask the Supreme Court
32:52to review the case.
32:53He'll just get out of it again
32:54if they go to the Supreme Court.
32:56Well, they're all his people, aren't they?
32:58Yeah, he's in with them all.
33:00There you go.
33:01You know, rather than them
33:02going through a lengthy
33:03Supreme Court thing,
33:05why don't they ask
33:05Chuck GPT
33:07whether it's legal or not?
33:10Mr Trump said
33:10the decision,
33:11if allowed to stand,
33:12would literally destroy America.
33:14I think that's probably
33:15an exaggeration.
33:16He's doing quite a good job
33:17of that himself, isn't he?
33:18Yeah.
33:18He said the 2nd of April
33:20would be one of the most
33:21important days
33:22in American history.
33:23This is Liberation Day.
33:25Liberation from what?
33:27Like, why does no-one
33:29ask that question?
33:30Yeah.
33:30It's gone from liberation
33:32to buggeration
33:33overnight.
33:35Commiseration.
33:37It's not liberation, dude.
33:39No.
33:39Ronald.
33:40Donald.
33:41Ronald.
33:42Donald.
33:43Ronald McDonald.
33:45On his Truth Social website,
33:47the president was undaunted.
33:49All tariffs are still in effect.
33:50That's on Truth Social,
33:52which is quite an ironic name.
33:53It's a bit rich.
33:54Look at that,
33:55all capitals at the top.
33:56He's shouting.
33:57That's a sign of a mad person.
33:59President Trump...
34:00You text like that, Mum.
34:02No, I don't.
34:03You do?
34:03Excuse me, no.
34:04But even if the Supreme Court
34:05upholds this ruling,
34:07Trump could still impose
34:08similar tariffs
34:09through other legal routes.
34:11He said this ruling
34:12would literally destroy
34:13the United States of America.
34:15He won't give up
34:16on his tariff policies
34:17without a fight.
34:18He will just continue
34:20and bully on through.
34:21The only thing
34:22that's going to change it
34:23is people's reaction to it
34:24and the tariffs
34:25that they put on them,
34:26whether they're going
34:26to hurt America in any way.
34:28Oh, you sound
34:28semi-intelligent, darling.
34:30I mean, why is he
34:31introduced tariffs?
34:32Because he just wanted
34:32to piss people off.
34:34It's a bit like
34:35smart meters, innit?
34:37What?
34:38Yeah, a lot of people
34:39don't like them
34:39smart meters.
34:41What's that got to do
34:42with Trump?
34:43Well, now he hasn't
34:44introduced them,
34:45it's us who give us
34:46smart meters.
34:47They're all your life.
34:57In home.
34:58You want to hear
34:58about my new bed here?
34:59You got a new bed,
35:00have you?
35:01Yeah.
35:02Oh, I bet you're
35:03christening that, aren't you?
35:04Oh, I am.
35:04I'm going up and down,
35:06up and down,
35:06up and down.
35:07It's lovely.
35:08It's electric.
35:09Best friends,
35:10Jenny and Lee.
35:12Up and down.
35:14Up and down.
35:14That would annoy me,
35:16totally.
35:17I'd cut the bastard wires.
35:19No, it's lovely, Alan.
35:20Laying next to somebody
35:20going...
35:21Ray said it's the most
35:26he's seen me move
35:26for a long time.
35:29On Monday night,
35:30a nail-biting new thriller
35:32had us on the edge
35:33of our seats
35:34on BBC One.
35:35God, we do love
35:37a good drama,
35:37don't we, darling?
35:38We do love a good drama.
35:39Less drama in our house,
35:40more drama on telly.
35:42Yeah, they don't have
35:42the dramas on in the summer,
35:43do they?
35:44No.
35:44It's because everybody's
35:45barbecuing,
35:45they won't be watching
35:46this, shag.
35:47You don't have a drama.
35:49You don't have a drama
35:51and a barbecue,
35:52do you?
35:56The guest.
35:57Here we go.
35:58All right.
35:59I love being a guest.
36:00Oh, yeah, you do,
36:01because you come here
36:02and get weighted
36:02on hand and foot.
36:04In the programme,
36:05we met a cleaner
36:06called Ria,
36:07arriving for her
36:08first day
36:08in a new job.
36:12Look at that pile.
36:13She wouldn't be doing
36:14her own shopping
36:15in Tesco's,
36:16would she?
36:16Imagine cleaning that.
36:18Christ, I wouldn't want
36:18to be able to clean that.
36:19I'd take a good
36:20bloody far from me.
36:21Import from
36:21the States,
36:24Asia.
36:25Is she an interior designer?
36:27It looks like she's,
36:28yeah.
36:29Europe.
36:30I mean,
36:30obviously,
36:31that's not as easy
36:32as it used to be,
36:33but we do refurbs,
36:35refits.
36:35She's got a tabard on,
36:37just so we can all
36:38identify that she is
36:39the cleaner of the house.
36:40Of course.
36:41She's got a tabard on.
36:42Having taken her
36:43under her wing,
36:44Fran was keen for Ria
36:46to find a new boyfriend.
36:48Oh, hello.
36:50He's gorgeous.
36:51Oh, he is, isn't he?
36:52He is gorgeous,
36:53isn't he?
36:54Hi.
36:54Hey.
36:57I can't believe
36:57she's actually gone on this day.
36:59She's got a boyfriend.
37:00Yeah, it's good money.
37:03Like,
37:03most years,
37:04I clear 100k, isn't he?
37:06He's talking about money
37:07on the first date.
37:08Red flag.
37:09Ooh.
37:11Oh, my bingo wings
37:12are flapping.
37:13Uh, so, sorry,
37:14what about you?
37:14What do you do
37:15for, um,
37:15for work?
37:17Oh, what is she gonna say?
37:19Oh, sorry,
37:20I'm, I'm,
37:20I run a company.
37:23Ooh.
37:23Do you now?
37:26Yeah, um,
37:28High and Finisher,
37:28night fiddins.
37:30Perfurbishments,
37:30that sort of thing.
37:31Oh, she's,
37:32she's taking on
37:33the personality of Fran.
37:35We just,
37:35we saw some of the world,
37:37the States,
37:38Asia,
37:39Europe,
37:40which isn't as easy
37:40as it used to be now,
37:41obviously.
37:42She's copying
37:43what Fran said earlier.
37:45Oh, what a tangled web
37:46we weave.
37:47That's really cool.
37:48Do you think there's a spark
37:49between them, Mary?
37:52Seems to be.
37:53A bit later,
37:54we saw Fran heading off
37:56for the weekend,
37:57leaving Ria in charge
37:58of the big fancy house.
38:00I'm posing in
38:01and the devil's knocking
38:03at my door.
38:05Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
38:06Oh, she's getting rid
38:07of all the pictures,
38:08all the evictions.
38:08Oh, she's gonna have
38:09a dirty weekend
38:10in the house
38:11with the boyfriend,
38:12the new boyfriend.
38:13and the new boyfriend.
38:15Hey.
38:16I wasn't sure
38:16if I was in the right house.
38:18OK.
38:19You're not.
38:20You'd have a ring doorbell
38:21on a gaff like that,
38:22wouldn't you?
38:22Of course you would.
38:23How's he got up the drive?
38:24She's not left
38:24them gates open.
38:26Bloody hell.
38:27This is a bit nice.
38:28He's thinking
38:28he's landed on his feet,
38:30yeah.
38:31Do you wanna,
38:32do you wanna talk?
38:34Yeah.
38:34When I come round
38:35to your house
38:36when I first met you,
38:37you didn't say
38:38do you want to talk?
38:39It would have took
38:39all of 20 seconds,
38:40wouldn't it?
38:41You're so fucking hot.
38:44The rats already
38:45that escalated fast.
38:47La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
38:50I read quite a lot
38:51of rumpy, pumpy novels
38:53because they help me
38:56go to sleep.
38:59Who's that?
39:00Who's that?
39:02Who's in that car?
39:03Hi, this is Ria.
39:04Please leave a message.
39:07Hi, it's me.
39:08Oh, it's Fran.
39:09I got halfway there
39:10and realised
39:10I forgot my bloody key.
39:12Oh!
39:13She's on her way home.
39:14Pictures, man in the house.
39:16This is not gonna go down well.
39:17Where he says
39:18I should be there
39:18in ten minutes.
39:19Ten minutes?
39:20Shit!
39:21They're gonna be caught
39:22in play grande.
39:28Oh, turn it off.
39:30Answer the bloody fawn.
39:32Fuck, fuck, fuck.
39:33Oh, she's checked that.
39:35Thank God, thank God, thank God.
39:37Anyway, where he says
39:38I should be there in ten minutes.
39:39What are you gonna do now?
39:40Oh!
39:41How's she gonna cover up this one?
39:43I don't know.
39:44Who keeps calling you?
39:45Oh, he's getting a bit aggy, isn't he?
39:47My boyfriend is on the way back home
39:49so I need you to leave.
39:50Oh!
39:50Oh!
39:51She's that maid, she's got a boyfriend.
39:55I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
39:56This is fucked.
39:57This is fucked.
39:58It's gonna get nasty.
39:59So why are you being like that for?
40:00Oh, my God, I'm not being like anything.
40:01Can you just leave, please?
40:02I've asked you.
40:03He's not gonna leave now.
40:04I don't think he's gonna, you know.
40:06He's off his rocker.
40:07Get out!
40:07Whoa!
40:08Get out!
40:09Get out!
40:09Get out!
40:10Get out!
40:11Oh!
40:12Oh, she's...
40:13Oh, my God!
40:18No, no, no.
40:20Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't!
40:22Run!
40:25Oh!
40:28This has gone from nought to a hundred
40:30in about ten seconds, now.
40:33Oh, my God!
40:33Oh, my God!
40:34Get out!
40:35Oh!
40:36Oh, shit!
40:37Bloody hell!
40:39Get up!
40:40Get the fuck up!
40:42Whoa!
40:44Oh!
40:44Oh!
40:47Oh!
40:50Oh!
40:51Oh!
40:58She's got about two minutes
40:59to leave out the mess
41:00before the bus.
41:01My God, that was dramatic.
41:04This is proof as to why
41:05we shouldn't use dating apps, isn't it?
41:06Because it's the devil's playground.
41:08Yeah.
41:09Nothing good ever comes from a dating app.
41:12Well, it has never for me.
41:13Definitely hasn't for you.
41:16All right!
41:16What do you look like with them socks
41:23and slippers?
41:23I don't care.
41:25Teresa and her wife, Anita.
41:27When I met you,
41:28you had real high levels
41:31of, you know, dress sense.
41:34And you criticised a lot of what I wore.
41:37I had to throw out a flowery coat
41:38because of you.
41:39Well, you just hit the nail
41:40on the head there.
41:41What?
41:41When I met you,
41:42things changed.
41:42Oh!
41:43On Thursday night,
41:48there were more canine capers
41:49with the nation's favourite
41:51homeless hounds
41:52on Channel 4.
41:53Oh!
41:53Oh, it's the doghouse!
41:58It's OK.
41:59We're not getting it.
42:00Don't worry.
42:02Do you mind getting your feet off those?
42:03Sorry.
42:03Thank you.
42:05You're about to eat my cheesy feet
42:06instead of your cheese straws.
42:08Do they taste good,
42:09these cheese straws?
42:09They're lovely.
42:13This house at the moment
42:14is bonkers.
42:15I've got six puppies,
42:18a Labrador
42:18and two Tibetan terriers.
42:2114-year-old Lucy
42:22has rallied the whole family
42:23in search of a four-legged friend
42:25to finally call her own.
42:27I hope they find
42:28something special for Lucy.
42:30I think for us,
42:31it's about the personality
42:32and temperament of the dog
42:34more than necessarily
42:35the greed.
42:37You want a dog,
42:37this cut she doesn't.
42:38Cut she doesn't do I.
42:39Do you want something
42:40she can have on her lap?
42:41Yeah.
42:42Like my dachshund?
42:43Yeah.
42:43If she had my dachshund,
42:45she would love it.
42:46She would love a dachshund.
42:48Oh, I'm Pomeranian.
42:50Oh, wow, OK.
42:51They're quite small, aren't they?
42:52Pomeranian.
42:53Small, fluffy one.
42:54Yeah, but they're yuppie Lucy.
42:56Be very careful with them.
42:57Not all of them.
42:58Occasionally, you've said,
42:59haven't you,
42:59I'm lonely
43:00and I'd like a dog.
43:01Yeah.
43:03Give her a dog.
43:04Give her a dog.
43:05Give her two.
43:05Oh, I want her to find
43:06a nice Pomeranian.
43:07She is going to find
43:08a nice Pomeranian.
43:09We've narrowed it down
43:10to two possibilities.
43:12OK.
43:13Oh, I wonder
43:14what they got for her.
43:15Who is it?
43:17Pomeranian.
43:18Perfect.
43:20Oh.
43:21Oh, that ticks
43:22every box for that.
43:22Bloody brilliant.
43:24I want you to understand
43:25that fox is a stray.
43:27What?
43:28A stray Pomeranian.
43:30Yeah.
43:31How did that happen?
43:32Is there just like
43:32a pack of Pomeranians
43:33breeding in the wild somewhere?
43:36That would be a goldmine
43:37if we find it.
43:38I know.
43:39He has an affectionate side
43:41but we don't know
43:42if he's ever lived
43:43in a house before.
43:44Oh, that's a bit tricky.
43:46It might not be good
43:47with people.
43:48So the other option
43:49is a little beagle.
43:51OK.
43:52And her name is Poppy.
43:54Oh, beagles are cute.
43:55Let's see both, Lucy.
43:57Don't jump the gun.
43:59Give me a name.
44:00What's this?
44:01Good boy.
44:02Hi there.
44:03Oh, look at her.
44:04Oh, Fox looks like a fox.
44:07Fox is a fox.
44:09Fox.
44:11Fox.
44:12Come on, Foxy.
44:14Foxy.
44:15Fox.
44:16Go on, have a little jump up.
44:18Say hello.
44:19Foxy, get up.
44:20Oh, no, he's gone the other way.
44:27Go and see her.
44:30Please.
44:30Fox isn't obviously going to
44:32just come and curl up on your lap
44:35today, Lucy.
44:36Or maybe not even in a week.
44:38Or never.
44:39Exactly.
44:39It might not ever happen.
44:41And he doesn't like being picked up.
44:42Oh, well, what's your shoulder
44:43in for, then?
44:44Oh, well, that's no gott.
44:45Maybe they could have mentioned that.
44:47Yeah, and that would have been
44:47a good one to start with.
44:50You see.
44:51Oh, she's disappointed.
44:53Yeah, that's understandable.
44:55Fox is no good for her.
44:57You can't even pick it up.
44:58Get out.
44:59Get it out.
45:00Get the next one.
45:00Why did they bring it in for her, then?
45:02Exactly.
45:05Oh!
45:06Oh!
45:07Poppy!
45:08This is Poppy.
45:10Hello, Poppy.
45:11Come on, Poppy.
45:12Come on.
45:13Knock it out of the court, Pops.
45:14Now, I like that dog instantly
45:16because it's got the face
45:17of an old bloke.
45:18Poppy.
45:20Good girl.
45:21Woo-hoo!
45:22Up we go.
45:23Come to see Lucy.
45:25Come to see Lucy.
45:26Aw, that's better.
45:27Mother's like,
45:27Come on, Poppy.
45:29Come on.
45:30Go and fucking see Lucy.
45:34She said hello to you.
45:37She loved me.
45:38Oh, she likes her.
45:40Poppy might be the one.
45:41I think Poppy might be the winner.
45:42Yeah.
45:45Yes, yes, yes.
45:47Lucy.
45:47I do love her.
45:50Poppy, I love you.
45:51Oh, she loves her.
45:53Oh, Poppy, I think you might have just found you forever home, sweetheart.
45:56Oh, it's making me cry.
45:57Oh, she's crying.
45:59Oh.
45:59Is it making you cry?
46:01No.
46:01No.
46:03First, I thought she wanted the Pomeranian.
46:06Please make it work for her.
46:08But then everything worked out in the end
46:10and the bagel was actually better.
46:12The bagel.
46:12Not the bagel.
46:15What they're called?
46:16Beagle.
46:17Oh, they're fucking bagel.
46:19So you have for your breakfast?
46:20Well, if you want your share of Elizabeth Hurley's inheritance after tonight,
46:28the deliciously devious new game continues on Sunday night at nine.
46:32When it's time to go big, we'll go home.
46:35Now, if you like your Friday nights and new comedy-free zone,
46:38well, Mitchell and Webb are not helping with that.
46:41Next, tonight here on Channel 4.
46:43You're a perfect, perfect world.
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