Amandaland - Season 1 Episode 01- House Party
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00:00Guys, guys, guys!
00:02Team talk.
00:03We're going to be late.
00:04Yes, I know. I just want to say.
00:06I know it's not ideal moving schools mid-term.
00:08And I know you miss Chipsick, but it will be okay, okay?
00:12Look, when I changed school when I was 13,
00:14I didn't know a single person.
00:15Within half a term, I was voted the most popular girl ever.
00:19How is that even possible?
00:20Mummy's talking.
00:21My point is, I'm a people person.
00:24And historically, our people are people people.
00:28Literally any of those kids out there could be your new BFF.
00:31Okay, so you get out there.
00:33You find your people.
00:35Okay.
00:41No! No!
00:42Not those people.
00:47Can't park here.
00:48Oh, sorry?
00:49No parking.
00:50Thank you, thanks.
00:55Hey, get back here, you!
00:57Get off.
00:58Just look at the city, you monkey.
01:00Have a lovely day, Darius.
01:01Hang on!
01:02I love you!
01:03God, I literally hate you.
01:07Shut the front door.
01:09Ah!
01:10Look at you!
01:11You're up to a funeral.
01:12No, I've got a work meeting at 9.30.
01:14Yeah, of course you have.
01:15Get in.
01:16I'll drop you off.
01:17Okay.
01:18Okay.
01:21So, you're Georgie and my Darius back in the same class again.
01:24Hmm.
01:25Must be the end of days, you leaving Chiswick.
01:27Oh, I'm done with W4.
01:29I'm all about Soha.
01:31Oh, what's Soha?
01:32Oh, it's, um...
01:34It's what the property experts call South Harleston.
01:37Oh, it's like that area around Wyrmwood Scrubs Prison.
01:40Yeah, but it's called Soha.
01:42It's Soha, Noha, E-ha, We-ha.
01:45Ah-ha.
01:47I'm actually glad I took the kids out of private school.
01:50They got way more chance of getting into Oxbridge from a bog-standard state.
01:53Haycroft is fantastic.
01:55Yeah.
01:56They've got a great STEM hub.
01:57Okay.
01:58And a rock choir.
01:59And the torture scene from A Clockwork Orange was filmed in the playground.
02:03Yeah, more of a book person, Anne.
02:05Well, it's actually based on a book.
02:07Gosh, it's so great to weaken it.
02:09Yes.
02:10After all these years.
02:12So great.
02:13Yeah.
02:14Because we were worried about you there for a while.
02:16What with your divorce and your shop, sorry, store closing and your falling out with your mammy.
02:22All right, Anne.
02:26Don't you worry about little old me.
02:28It's all good.
02:31So, what is the skinny with the school, please?
02:35Are there any movers and shakers?
02:37Any fun mums?
02:39Well, I'm here.
02:43Yeah.
02:44I think someone's dad is a coroner.
02:46Yeah.
02:47Oh, Morton's mammy, Della, she runs that restaurant, Shin.
02:50And I think...
02:51Back up with Shin.
02:52Yeah.
02:53You know that place beside the megachurch that used to be Debenham's?
02:56Yeah.
02:57And now Shin, Anne.
02:58Oh, yeah.
02:59That Osabuco is off the charts.
03:02Wow.
03:04Key change.
03:05Are you and Della Frye bum chums?
03:06Oh, God, no, no, no.
03:08I sometimes see her at football, but she mostly keeps herself to herself.
03:11What football?
03:12All our kids play for Hounslow Eagles.
03:14Right.
03:15Hounslow Eagles.
03:16Yeah.
03:17I'm afraid, Anne, I'm going to have to drop you here.
03:19Oh, yeah.
03:20We're just nowhere near the station.
03:21I'm sorry.
03:22I've just got enough charge to get myself home.
03:24Oh, yeah.
03:25Okay.
03:26There's the price I pay for going green.
03:28Oh, would you put that in the bin on your way?
03:32Yeah, of course.
03:33Siri, nearest Sports Direct.
03:56Mal.
03:57Yeah, me again.
03:58Guess what I'm going to ask?
04:00As you know, I need to park there to charge my car.
04:03I'm sorry if my saving the planet annoys you.
04:06It does annoy me.
04:07You've blocked me in.
04:08Can you move your car, please?
04:12There's a charging point literally down the road.
04:14Please don't mansplain.
04:15That is not mansplaining.
04:17Oh, so now you're mansplaining mansplaining.
04:20I'm going to be late for football.
04:21Hashtag me too.
04:23It's not what hashtag me too...
04:26Forget about it.
04:30Georgie, Manus, we need to leave in five minutes.
04:37What?
04:38The Wi-Fi's gone off.
04:39Mama!
04:40No!
04:41I'm trying to get back to the corner.
04:42Oh, darling, let me in before I get mugged.
04:45What can I do for you, Mummy?
04:46We're going out.
04:47I love how you've made your little house look so swishy.
04:48I thought I'd bring you a little tuck parcel from Waitrose,
04:49now that you've only got a Tesco Metro.
04:50A little splash of wine, and some Earl Grey chocks for the children, and goji berries for
04:54you.
04:55Oh, well, that actually will be really nice of my birch muesli.
04:56You're still doing breakfast.
04:57While I'm here, would you do up my brass ear?
04:58Why can't Joy do it?
04:59That's what you pay her for.
05:00Manus, Georgie, we're going.
05:01I'm not talking to Joy.
05:02Why do you insist I need a PA?
05:03It's...
05:04It's...
05:05It's...
05:06It's...
05:07It's...
05:08Mummy, Joy is your carer.
05:09Oh, ridiculous.
05:10I'm perfectly capable.
05:11Now just do up my bra and I'll be on my way.
05:12Come on.
05:13No, looser.
05:14Looser.
05:15Okay.
05:16Oh, I'm not.
05:17I'm not going to goji berries for you.
05:18I'm not going to goji berries for you.
05:19Oh, well, that actually will be really nice of my birch muesli.
05:21You're still doing breakfast.
05:22While I'm here, would you do up my brass ear?
05:23Why can't Joy do it?
05:24That's what you pay her for.
05:25Manus, Georgie, we're going.
05:26I'm not talking to Joy.
05:27Why do you insist I need a PA?
05:28It's...
05:29Mummy, Joy is your carer.
05:30Oh, ridiculous.
05:31I'm perfectly capable.
05:32No, looser.
05:35Looser.
05:36Okay.
05:37Oh, look at you two, sporty bobs.
05:41Kiss-kiss for gang-gan.
05:43Oh, I don't spend enough time with my little bears.
05:46Well, Mummy, you could come with us to football.
05:48God, no.
05:49Um, do you mind if I use your loo?
05:51I can let myself out.
05:52But you're going to have to help me out for my Spanx.
05:55Show!
05:56Brilliant!
05:57Go on the season, that.
05:58Shut up.
05:59Hiya, Mel.
06:00You're very brave out here, roughing this lot in your shorts.
06:02No-one else wants to do it.
06:03Plus, I love being called a pedo for an hour and a half.
06:04Yeah.
06:05Hey, Dad.
06:06Hey!
06:07How you doing, fella?
06:08Oh, someone's discovered aftershave.
06:09Oh, get off, man.
06:10Well, there he is.
06:11The big man in the short shorts.
06:14Now, I'd wear shorts like that non-stop if I had legs like yours.
06:29How's the baby, JJ?
06:31Did abs get that prolapse sorted?
06:33Yeah, no, she's doing great, thank you for asking.
06:35Don't be tempted to go for the vaginal mesh,
06:37because, jeez, it's a job getting that stuff out there
06:39once it's fused with your lining.
06:41Yes, I will definitely pass that on.
06:44So, here's in his bag.
06:46Abs told me to tell you his toothbrush and he's charging.
06:49Cool.
06:54Heading off?
06:55No, I thought I'd hang around.
06:58Watch a bit of the old footy.
07:00Didn't know you were a fan of football?
07:02Yeah, of course.
07:03I love it, mate.
07:04Can't get enough of it.
07:06In fact, if you need someone to be one of the
07:10flag bearers.
07:12They're desperate for someone to coach the under-15s girls.
07:15No, I don't think that.
07:17I'll put your name down.
07:18Yeah.
07:19OK, OK.
07:21She made it.
07:22Guys, you are going to love Amanda.
07:25We're old munchums from junior school.
07:27Hi!
07:28Hello.
07:29Hi.
07:30Do you guys know each other?
07:32Yeah, we're neighbours.
07:33I live above him.
07:34He's very much beneath me.
07:36Hi, I'm JJ, Ned's step-dad.
07:38Oh, sweet!
07:39Is there a viewing deck or like somewhere inside to watch from?
07:43Yes.
07:44There's a Bollinger Marquis just behind the men's bogs.
07:47That's very funny.
07:48He's joking.
07:49I know.
07:50OK.
07:51There was a gazebo, but it got blown away in Storm Gerald.
07:53Are you cold, Amanda?
07:55Would you take my dry robe?
07:56I don't think so, Anne.
07:57Actually, give me the dry robe.
07:59Oh, yeah.
08:00Sure, of course.
08:01Listen, erm, me and some munchums are going to sink some fizz later if you fancy meeting
08:06the Anne gang.
08:07You're more than welcome to join us too, Mel.
08:09Oh, I can't tonight, Anne.
08:10I've got Ned this weekend.
08:11I've got the techniques out.
08:12I'm going to give him a crash course on some old school UK garages.
08:15That sounds horrific.
08:16I'll definitely need to be out of the house.
08:17It's a yes for me, Anne.
08:18Oi, pedo!
08:19Are we playing a what?
08:22Oh, a few.
08:25She's talking to you.
08:26She's talking to you.
08:28Right.
08:29Wish me luck.
08:30All right.
08:31Come on, girls.
08:32Let's get started.
08:33Oh, my God.
08:34There she is.
08:35Della Frye.
08:36Wow.
08:37Did you read her piece in the Evening Standard?
08:39They're opening another shin in Kilburn.
08:42Double shin.
08:43Right.
08:44Yeah.
08:45Oh, er, that's her wife, Fee.
08:46Oh.
08:47Wife.
08:48So, they're...
08:50Oh, they're lesbians.
08:51Oh, right, yes.
08:52Yeah.
08:53I can.
08:54Yes.
08:55I got it.
08:56Yeah.
08:57It's the 20th century.
08:58There's no need to be so weird about it.
09:00Okay.
09:01How do I look?
09:05Oh, like a butterfly from a chrysalis.
09:11Oh, my God.
09:12Where is she going?
09:13Oh, I left you in charge for one day, Diego.
09:16It's just in a scallop.
09:17You're not splitting the bloody atom.
09:19Oi!
09:20Yeah.
09:21Get off the bench!
09:24Yeah.
09:25Oh!
09:26Oh!
09:27Oh!
09:28Oh!
09:29Hold on.
09:30It's okay.
09:31I'm fine.
09:32I'm okay.
09:33Here.
09:34I'm fine.
09:35Oh, God, I see.
09:37I'm fine.
09:38It's fine.
09:40Hi.
09:41Hi.
09:42Hi.
09:43Hi.
09:44Your coat's fucked.
09:45Are you all right, babe?
09:46She's lying.
09:47Oh, don't worry.
09:48It's, um...
09:49It's last season.
09:50Okay, everyone.
09:51Mum?
09:52Can we please go home and eat your freezer?
09:55Sure thing, baby.
09:56Okay, Della.
09:57We're going.
09:58We're going home.
09:59Bourne!
10:00Where are you going?
10:01You're supposed to be the goalie!
10:02Oh, my God.
10:03Are you okay?
10:04Yeah, thank God Della was there to rescue me.
10:06Oh, God!
10:07Can everyone please stop kicking balls at my head?
10:17Ah!
10:18Ah!
10:19God!
10:20Mummy!
10:21The hell?
10:22Well, you were out, so I made a spot of lunch and thought I'd have a little siesta.
10:27Please go home.
10:28Joy will be waiting for you.
10:30Also, I need to get changed.
10:32What for?
10:33I'm having...
10:34Um...
10:35Actually, you're right.
10:36It doesn't matter.
10:37It's only drinks with Anne.
10:38Well, I can look after the kiddywinks for you.
10:39No, it's fine.
10:40I'll be in and out.
10:41It's, uh...
10:42Just a drive-by dazzle.
10:43Give Anne a boost.
10:44Can you please get out of my bed?
10:46Well, at least let me finish my wine.
10:49Ah, bloody Joy.
10:51First name Kill.
10:52She's a sociopath.
10:54I've heard about this.
10:55She's gaslighting me.
10:56Mummy, please go home.
11:01What?
11:02Oh!
11:04What now?
11:05You've blocked me in again.
11:06Well, I thought you were staying in and playing your awful garage.
11:09No.
11:10Ned's been invited to a party at Morton, so I'm uber-dad for the night.
11:13Morton, as in Della Fry's daughter, there's a party at her house.
11:15Yeah.
11:16Our whole class is going.
11:17Oh, hello.
11:18Back inside, Mummy.
11:19Your babysitting manners.
11:20Er...
11:21These could be our people, Georgie, alright?
11:33So just be cool.
11:34Hi.
11:35Hi.
11:36Hi.
11:37So you found us okay then, yeah?
11:38Yeah.
11:39It was fine, thanks, Morton.
11:40I love that top BT Dubs.
11:41Oh, BT Dubs.
11:42That's cute.
11:43Oh, BT Dubs.
11:44Oh, BT Dubs, that's cute.
11:45Is your mum in?
11:46Your mum's just, er, because I bought some flowers.
11:47Yeah.
11:48Mums!
11:49Fi!
11:50Oh, the other...
11:51Yeah, yeah, I'm coming!
11:52Hey!
11:53Hi!
11:54Hi!
11:55I'm coming.
11:56Hey, you must be Fi.
11:57I'm Amanda.
11:58I just wanted to give you these.
11:59Well, Della, erm, I don't know.
12:01This is, erm, something for saving my life.
12:03Oh, aren't you a sweetheart?
12:04Do you want to come in?
12:05Yes, erm, yeah, I'm sure I have time.
12:07I might just actually get rid of these first, though, because Della,
12:11fucking hates Lilies.
12:12Ah!
12:13Oh!
12:14Excuse the books.
12:15That is my ceramic kiln.
12:16Oh, do you potter?
12:17Yeah, well, that's the plan.
12:18Though I do need to get a non-flammable floor.
12:20That'll teach me not to go on Amazon Piss.
12:21Come on in.
12:22Oh!
12:23Come on in.
12:24Come on in.
12:25Come on in.
12:26Come on in.
12:27Come on in.
12:28Come on in.
12:29Come on in.
12:30Come on in.
12:31Come on in.
12:32Come on in.
12:33Come on in.
12:34Come on in.
12:35Come on in.
12:36Come on in.
12:37Come on in.
12:38Come on in.
12:39Come on in.
12:40Come on in.
12:41Come on in.
12:42Hey.
12:43Hi.
12:44Oh, look at you.
12:45Sautéing away.
12:46It's like watching a bear.
12:47Della, babe, this is Amanda, one of the moms from Morton's class.
12:50She bought you these.
12:51Amanda.
12:52Yeah.
12:53There were some flowers in the flowers.
12:55Just to say thank you for being my hero at football.
13:00Oh, yeah, you're the one who went to our silver touch.
13:03I know.
13:04Yeah.
13:05Classic.
13:06Can I just say I am such a big fan of your work.
13:13You must get that a lot.
13:15Yeah.
13:16I'm actually like a mega foodie myself.
13:17I used to work for a house at Quo Vadis in my 20s.
13:20So, I know my parfait from my brulee.
13:23Yeah, well, they're very different foods.
13:25Yes.
13:26Yeah, I know.
13:27You can't see your drink bands.
13:28I'm just making a pisco sour.
13:29Oh, Wells, yeah.
13:30No, I'm absolutely loving your crib, by the way.
13:33Oh, thank you.
13:34Yeah, so bohemian, but also, like, utilitarian.
13:37What are you doing asking her for a drink?
13:39I'm already cooking for 15 teenagers on my one night off.
13:42I don't have the bandwidth for small talk.
13:44Oh, come on, babe.
13:45She's new, and I just think she's a bit lonely.
13:48Georgie settled in okay at Haycroft.
13:50Yeah.
13:51It's a great school.
13:52We love it.
13:53It has a lot of problems.
13:54Totally.
13:55No, no.
13:56I mean, we love it for its problems.
13:58Apparently, if you're a film buff, you'll like this.
14:01They shot one of the scenes from a chocolate orange in the playground.
14:05Yeah.
14:06Kind of cool.
14:07Oh.
14:08Martin!
14:09Doorbell!
14:10Oh, my God.
14:11Martin!
14:13Martin!
14:15Is that chim chimini?
14:16Chimichurri.
14:17Chimichurri.
14:18Amanda introduced me, actually, to oats milk and face primer.
14:22And doing tricep dips using a kitchen chair.
14:25Yeah.
14:26She must have got lost.
14:27I'll just resend the what three words.
14:29What harm.
14:31So, eh, mattress, indigo, cattery.
14:37Mm-hmm.
14:38Okay.
14:40Great.
14:44The master at work.
14:46Dad, would you mind if I got a quick pic for my socials?
14:49I do mind, actually.
14:53I respect that.
14:55Well, I scuffed all the hot dogs.
14:57Ofi, come and try this.
14:58Off the knife.
15:00Just like the Catalonians.
15:02Mmm.
15:04Mmm.
15:06That...
15:07Yeah?
15:08...is insane, babe.
15:10Mmm.
15:12I'll have what she's having.
15:17Just a little taste.
15:18Ooh, lovely.
15:19So amazing.
15:23Oh!
15:24Wow.
15:25That is some good cookery.
15:27Are you in the restaurant game, Fi?
15:29God, no.
15:30I was in fashion.
15:31Oh!
15:32Stylist.
15:33Of course.
15:34Hello.
15:35And interiors.
15:36I actually designed this place.
15:37Wow.
15:38What a power couple.
15:39Oh, thanks.
15:43Uh...
15:44Mustard little missy.
15:46I see you, Morton.
15:47It's cool, right, mums?
15:48Hmm?
15:49Oh, no.
15:50Put that back, Morton.
15:52You're 14 years old, guys.
15:53Yeah, you never pair pork with Prosecco.
15:54Uh, go with a light red or...
15:58Hold on.
15:59Yeah, a robust white.
16:00Like this.
16:01Okay?
16:03You know, I prefer them to be drinking here than on the streets.
16:06Yeah, I trained in France and I liked a relaxed approach.
16:10Yeah.
16:11Yeah.
16:12Yeah, me too, Della.
16:13I'm just the same.
16:14I love the whole Dupin, Dupin, Dupin, Dupin thing.
16:19Yeah.
16:20Right.
16:21Shutters down.
16:22Service is over.
16:23I am ready for a hot tub, baby.
16:24Mmm.
16:25I'm going for a dip in a tub, Maureen, mums, if you fancy.
16:27Uh, she has no swimmers.
16:29Well, she doesn't need any.
16:32Um...
16:34Like...
16:36Skinny dipping.
16:37No, I mean, you can borrow some.
16:38Oh!
16:40I'm sorry.
16:41I hope you didn't think because you're both together that I thought that you would be...
16:44Oh, no, no, no, no.
16:45Sorry, that's so...
16:47I don't know why.
16:48It's okay.
16:49Great.
16:50Yes.
16:51I'd love to.
16:52Brilliant.
16:53Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:54Great, great, great.
16:55Here, okay darling, wait for a minute.
16:56Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:57I think I'm going to head.
16:58We're off to go eight, first thing.
17:00Uh, yeah, you'll meet Amanda another time.
17:02Hi.
17:03Yeah.
17:16Ah!
17:18Mm-mm.
17:20Mal!
17:21Oh, God.
17:22Hello!
17:24What about your lads night in?
17:26Well, Ned's gone to a party, so you know.
17:28I've all that still to come, sure.
17:30Darius is still only little, yeah.
17:32I left him at home watching gladiators snuggled up with Mr Blankey.
17:37Yeah, I can't really complain.
17:38If I had the choice between chaps and girls and watching my dad boil pasta, I know what I'd choose.
17:43Yeah.
17:44I know what I'd choose!
17:47Oh!
17:48It's Amanda.
17:49I knew she'd come.
17:50Hello!
17:51Oh, hey, Anne.
17:53Oh!
17:54You okay, Amanda?
17:55No, um, I'm not feeling great, actually, Anne.
17:59I lay down for a nap and I've literally just woken up.
18:04You two sound a bit awful.
18:05Yeah.
18:06Can I bring you anything?
18:07Uh, I'll be soiled.
18:08I think I'm just going to stay in bed, Anne.
18:10Amanda.
18:11I'm just so gutted to be short of a gathering.
18:13Okay.
18:14Well, uh, bye, Amanda.
18:16You rest up now.
18:17Bye, Anne.
18:19Amanda!
18:20Are you coming in or what?
18:22You're coming, Fi!
18:23Oh, God.
18:24This is so nice.
18:25It's so fresh.
18:26You can't even smell the chlorine.
18:27That's because I don't use chlorine.
18:28I actually did a homeopathy diploma a few years ago.
18:33Don't believe in chemicals.
18:35Right.
18:36Yeah.
18:37Tell that to Emma, I'll say.
18:38Oh, gosh.
18:39You think we should go check what the kids are up to?
18:40No.
18:41Oh, there she is.
18:42Let's get this party started.
18:43Fi!
18:44Put it in Zen mode.
18:45Yeah.
18:46It's fabulous.
18:47Oh, that's nice.
18:48Oh, God.
18:49Sorry.
18:50Sorry, sorry, sorry.
18:51Sorry, sorry.
18:52You all right, babe?
18:53Yeah, sorry.
18:54It's Sonny's carer.
18:55I hired her to take the pressure off me, and now I'm managing both of them.
18:58Oh, it's so nice.
19:00Yeah.
19:01There she is.
19:02Oh, there she is.
19:03Let's get this party started.
19:04See?
19:05Put it in Zen mode.
19:06Yeah.
19:07It's fabulous.
19:08Oh, that's nice.
19:09Oh, God.
19:10Sorry.
19:11Sorry, sorry.
19:12You all right, babe?
19:13Yes, sorry.
19:14It's Sonny's carer.
19:15and how I'm managing both of them.
19:17Sorry, you don't need to hear any of that.
19:19Della went through all that recently with her mom.
19:21Oh, really?
19:22Yeah, it's brutal.
19:26Damn straight.
19:29Would you like some mushrooms?
19:32Yeah, yeah, sure, yeah.
19:34Well, thank you, Della, I love mushrooms.
19:35Although I'm gonna go out on a limb.
19:37I'm not a big fan of truffle oil.
19:38I think once Cafe Rouge starts putting on its chips
19:41it sort of loses its jaw a bit.
19:43No, no, magic mushrooms.
19:45Della makes them with chocolate.
19:49Oh, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
19:59Oh, nice, big bit.
20:02Yeah, let's get back on the bubbles.
20:06Yes, ma'am, it's my night off.
20:08Hello.
20:09Hello.
20:10Oh.
20:11Woo!
20:12Oh, no.
20:13Yes, ma'am.
20:14Ha, ha, ha.
20:15Woo!
20:16Woo!
20:17Woo!
20:18Huh?
20:19Woo!
20:19Woo!
20:20Whee!
20:21Woo!
20:22Woo!
20:23Woo!
20:24Woo!
20:25Woo!
20:26Woo!
20:27Take him down.
20:28Take him down.
20:29Oh.
20:30Josh, can you hear me?
20:31You go around the gully.
20:32He's locked in.
20:33Is he dead?
20:34Manus, darling.
20:35Is he dead?
20:36One sec, Josh.
20:37Who are you talking to?
20:38My, um, friend Josh.
20:40As long as they're not being groomed, darling.
20:43Do you want to go?
20:44Not with this risk, kiddo.
20:46Busted it, shucking oysters.
20:48Mummy says it's osteoarthritis and you're only going to get worse.
20:51Who does she?
20:53PHONE RINGS
20:55Mrs Anderson?
20:56Look, it's bloody Joy.
20:58She's found me.
20:59Shall I open the door?
21:00Absolutely not.
21:01Turn off the light.
21:04Mrs Anderson?
21:05Are you in there?
21:07She's like the Terminator.
21:09Is she trying to kill you?
21:11Oh, good ass.
21:12You know, she won't let me have a drink until five.
21:19Yeah.
21:20Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
21:23Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
21:26Oh, Christ.
21:28Oh.
21:29Should we?
21:30Do you think we should see if the kids are all right?
21:32No, it's fine.
21:33The shit we got up to when we were there, eh?
21:36We would've been knocking but fast.
21:38The old demon Ribena.
21:41Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
21:44I'm just gonna nip to the loo.
21:45Mushrooms will do that to you, mens.
21:47Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
21:50Georgie, oh my god, why are you here? Georgie, we're going
22:04Hi
22:06Why are you in a dressing gown? Because I was in the hot tub
22:12Gross
22:13Grab your shoes, I'll get my knickers
22:14Oh my god
22:17Is that Anne's little boy?
22:19What have you been drinking, Darius?
22:23Something called Armagnac
22:25Armagnac, the G is silent
22:27Darius, is this your phone?
22:31Call Anne, call his mum
22:33Can't you?
22:34Because it doesn't matter, just say that Darius needs to go home and I will tell Della and a few we're leaving
22:39Do you want some water?
22:46There's Ned, when he was two
22:47He used to snuggle into bed between me and Anne
22:53Oh yeah, sure Darius still does that
22:55Oh look, there's Darius
22:58In his little helmet
23:00For his rhombus shaped head
23:02Those are, oh god
23:04I didn't see anything
23:07No, no, no, no, those are for the dermatologist
23:09Just check that the moulds in my chest haven't grown
23:11I didn't see
23:12Oh, Darius
23:16Hello, Bunny
23:17What?
23:20Hey Anne
23:30Don't panic, but this is a nightmare
23:31I've just had a call and something awful has happened at Fee and Della's house
23:34Oh, goodness
23:35All the children are there
23:36I don't know how they got there, but they're all there
23:38So I've called all the other parents and I'll get Georgie for you
23:41No, no need
23:42Hey guys, I'm actually going to have to bust a move
23:55I know Boo, but thank you so much for such a terrific evening
23:59Oh, don't, don't be a boob of us
24:01Babe, Travers
24:01Oh, I know
24:03There's some parents here and they're acting really fucking hectic
24:07Is that their mouth about?
24:09It's my one night off
24:10For fuck's sake
24:12Where's the towel?
24:14Babe
24:15Huh?
24:15I'm really coming up
24:16George, can you let me by the car?
24:20Morton said I could sleep over and everything
24:22Shh, get over and off
24:24Oh my god
24:27Oh, bloody thing
24:29Right
24:31I'll just charge her for a minute
24:34Don't move
24:35Darius!
24:46Darius!
24:46You all right, Ned?
24:47He is
24:48I've checked, no signs of intoxication
24:50Darius?
24:51Oh, Darius
24:52My baby
24:53That smells like Christmas
24:56Has he been drinking Armagnac?
24:59I warned you about alcohol
25:01I showed you that video of David Hasselhoff eating a burger off the floor
25:04Shut up
25:05Just go away
25:06Where did she even get it?
25:07Was it Lidl?
25:10What is so funny?
25:11Sorry, nothing
25:12Look, I just gave him a few bottles from the cellar
25:15It's no big deal
25:15No big deal
25:16It's a very big deal
25:18They're 15 years of age
25:19They're 15 years of age
25:19For Christ's sake
25:19Yeah, they're 15 years of age
25:21I don't like your attitude
25:22I don't like your attitude
25:23No one told us it would be booze
25:27You all right there, Amanda?
25:28This is funny
25:29Oh, the poor thing
25:32Look, you made her come in all the way from her sickbed in Soha
25:35What?
25:36I'm in and out and I don't want to give you my lucky
25:37Just give you my car quick juice
25:39You know what, Amanda?
25:40It's worse than we thought
25:40Because Della gave booze to our children
25:43Oh, grow up
25:43That is not cool
25:45What do you mean?
25:46You said it was fine
25:47Huh?
25:48Have you been here all evening?
25:51No
25:51No
25:52I mean
25:53I was en route to see you
25:56You were balls deep in our jacuzzi up till five minutes ago
25:59All right
26:00Calm down
26:01You lied to me
26:03Hey, Anne
26:03While you were sinking Chablis in the pub
26:06I was saving your child
26:07I was saving all your children
26:08I literally waded through vomit
26:10Was this after you dragged yourself out of the jacuzzi?
26:12All right
26:13Everybody
26:14Please leave my house
26:15Thank you, Della
26:16No, especially you
26:20You know what?
26:23Forget it
26:23I'm out
26:24I came here tonight
26:32To find my people
26:34Well
26:34The people have spoken
26:36And they have said
26:37We are very
26:38Not very nice people
26:43Okay
27:01Everybody
27:02Get out
27:04I'm serious this time
27:05Clear off
27:06Let that be a letter to you
27:20You silly Billy
27:21If you have come to rub it in, Anne
27:30Do you want a lift?
27:31Sorry I had to come and get me
27:35That's all right
27:36I like doing boring dad stuff
27:38I miss it
27:38You hungry?
27:40Yeah
27:40And what else with this?
27:42Garstin
27:42You're on sick ball duty
27:46Yep
27:47All right
27:52Who's ready to rave?
27:53Hello?
28:03Mummy?
28:04Manus?
28:07Quick
28:08Shut the door
28:08Before she sees us
28:09Who?
28:11Hello
28:11Mrs. Sanderson
28:13I've come to take you home
28:17Oh well done
28:20Is there a technical
28:20Yes
28:39You're on
28:41You're on
28:41Oh well done
28:46You're on
28:47Your
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