- 6 weeks ago
Self-care is essential, but where do we draw the line? From retail therapy to pilates classes and regular spa days, this episode dives into how much is too much when it comes to spending on yourself.
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00:00I don't like to judge what other people find to be like their form of self-care because
00:06I like to.
00:07Yeah, I mean, fair enough.
00:09I have to buy this new bag. I mean, really?
00:13I'm the kind of person now, I think before I buy.
00:17A lot of people don't think before they buy.
00:18I ended up hoarding a whole bunch of stuff that I, coming out of COVID, didn't actually end up using.
00:30What's up, guys? Welcome back to another episode of The Money Goal.
00:36My name is Ymir and I have Yasmin here with me.
00:39Hi.
00:39Hello, Yasmin.
00:40Hello, hello.
00:41All right. What are we talking about today?
00:44So we're talking about, I guess we can call them like,
00:50self-care.
00:51Okay.
00:51Yeah.
00:52Very important.
00:53Yes, I think so. I think so.
00:55So, I guess today we're going to be talking about, can you really afford beauty, fitness,
01:00and self-care in Malaysia in this day and age?
01:04So, okay. I'm just going to be straight up and just say, I'm very, very, very, very, very big on
01:15self-care.
01:16Self-care.
01:17I'm very big on self-care.
01:19My definition of self-care, because obviously we all have different definitions as well.
01:22I'm really big on books.
01:28Some people might not consider that self-care, but I read like,
01:33we're talking like 50 to 60 books a year.
01:35That's a lot.
01:37That's more than since I was 17, I think.
01:41Yeah, I eat books.
01:42I eat books.
01:44So my self-care is, I read a lot of books.
01:48I also play a lot of games.
01:49What kind of games?
01:51What kind of games?
01:51I do.
01:53Well, I play Nintendo so much.
01:54Oh, okay.
01:55And I also play the PS5.
01:57I don't eat those games as much as like, I eat books.
02:01And also, I do like a good hair wash and like a head spa kind of thing.
02:12And yeah, so like beauty-wise, like I do take care of myself.
02:19That's what I think of when it comes to self-care.
02:21Right.
02:21Massage.
02:22Yes.
02:23Yeah.
02:23Okay.
02:23I'm not big on massages, but I do go and see like a dermatologist, that kind of thing.
02:31I do not indulge in shopping.
02:34So that's something that I personally don't consider like self-care.
02:39Okay.
02:39Yeah, exactly.
02:40Like I have, I have areas in which, you know, I a little bit, and then I have areas in which
02:46that, you know, I don't.
02:48And I completely understand that the fact that I'm even able to indulge in any self-care at all
02:57is a form of privilege.
03:01I understand that there's also like levels to that self-care.
03:05There are some people who do it more frequently than others.
03:10And also there are varying qualities of that self-care.
03:15There are levels to it.
03:16Yeah, there are levels to it.
03:17Okay, what I thought, what was previously a premium gym to me?
03:22Okay.
03:23I then realized there are even more premium gyms.
03:26Yeah.
03:26There are levels to it.
03:27Yeah.
03:28There are crazy, you know, I mean, I'm not a fitness girly.
03:31So I'm not going for like spin classes.
03:35I spent a lot of money there actually.
03:36Yeah.
03:37I mean, obviously there, there are platforms.
03:40I'm not sure we're allowed to like say, but I think I know.
03:43Yeah.
03:43We know what it is.
03:44We know.
03:45Yeah, there are platforms that like enable this.
03:49But like, I'm not like a fitness junkie.
03:51So, um, I don't, I don't go for, you know, Pilates classes and like hot yoga or like whatever.
03:57I don't, that's not where I, I spent in terms of self-care.
04:00I'm more beauty.
04:03So, um, hair.
04:05Yeah.
04:06Getting my hair done, getting my nails done.
04:07I'm going for facials, that kind of thing.
04:11So that's where most of my money goes to.
04:16Okay.
04:16I mean, if that's your priority.
04:17Yeah.
04:18Yeah.
04:18Yeah.
04:19Yeah.
04:19So the question is more of like, how much is too much?
04:23Yes, I suppose so.
04:24And also like in Malaysia, whether or not, um, we can actually afford to, right.
04:31Um, so I guess, um, I don't know about you.
04:36Um, but do you think like the stuff that you're doing for your self-care is actually like adding
04:43to your happiness or is it like a thing that you're doing like out of, um, um, it's just
04:49like a routine.
04:50It's like, okay, once every two weeks, I go for a haircut.
04:53Right.
04:53Uh, I know that's like a boy thing.
04:55Yeah.
04:56Yeah.
04:56To cut our hair.
04:57Right.
04:57Okay.
04:58I would say that, um, okay.
05:01I'm going to talk about self-care more from, uh, not books.
05:03I wouldn't consider self-care.
05:04I would consider that education or something, but it's fictional books.
05:08I'm not reading nonfiction.
05:10Yeah.
05:10Okay.
05:10But self-care that I would do.
05:12I love massages, but I don't go, I don't go that often.
05:15Uh, maybe once every two months.
05:16Okay.
05:17Right.
05:17No, that's okay.
05:18No, I think that's okay.
05:18Yeah.
05:19I mean, I think that's okay.
05:20Yeah.
05:21Yeah.
05:21Yeah.
05:21That's okay.
05:21Um, I would do like, okay, gym, I'll consider self-care.
05:25So paying for the gym, haircuts, and I will consider like clothes.
05:30So I think appearance-wise, um, anything appearance-wise to me is self-care.
05:34Maybe because I'm a guy, like, ah.
05:36Sure.
05:36I used to be the acumen or whatever.
05:38So I think spending on these things can improve, not just quality of life, but, um, it gives
05:47me a certain level of confidence as well.
05:48Yeah.
05:48So I think, okay, during the COVID era, right, 2020 lockdowns, I think I really let myself go.
05:53Smelly.
05:54Yeah.
05:54Smelly.
05:55I really let myself go.
05:56Uh, I didn't cut my hair.
05:57I mean, obviously we didn't need to, uh, we couldn't for a while.
06:00And after that, because we work from home, I thought I didn't need to.
06:03Clothes.
06:04I didn't buy any clothes at all because I'm like, when am I even going to go out?
06:07Yeah.
06:07Right.
06:08And yeah, I think everything was just a mess.
06:09Um, I actually started buying clothes again, I think only last year.
06:13And I realized it actually gave me a lot of more confidence, you know.
06:17Oh, so you're a shopper.
06:19No, not so much, not so much, but I would consider these things self-care.
06:23Okay.
06:23Um, yeah, so these are the areas I spend on my haircuts.
06:27Okay.
06:27So things like haircuts and stuff, I would spend, I think I've talked about this in previous episodes.
06:31Uh, I would spend on convenience.
06:33So I do cut at malls just because it's easier.
06:36So I cut at my place because one, I want to have the same guy there every, every time.
06:41Yeah.
06:41And I realized that if I go to a cheaper barber, the turnover is really quick.
06:47So then I, you know, I know this guy for a few months and he's like, oh, I'm leaving and stuff.
06:50So I want one guy and I want him to be there perpetually basically.
06:54Right.
06:54I won't let him retire.
06:55Yeah.
06:56Um, and two is convenience.
06:57So therefore I got in the mall and my haircut place is in the same place as my gym.
07:02So at least then I can get a haircut and then I can go to the gym.
07:05That's exactly what I'm going to do right after this actually.
07:07Right.
07:07But yeah, so I would spend a bit more, but again, it's because, um, I'm lucky that I
07:12earn an okay amount of money and I can afford it.
07:15And I mean, depending on how I budget my money, I do set aside this.
07:19I would rather spend a bit more here than buying something.
07:24Well, it's a priorities thing, right?
07:26Like, um, I mean, I'm the exact same as you.
07:29Like I don't spend beyond my means.
07:31So I have already, I get, okay.
07:34Every time like my salary comes in, right.
07:37My gadget comes in, like I've, I'm already like mentally factoring in, I guess, like, okay,
07:43how much am I going to spend on like self-care?
07:45How am I, how much I'm, oh, how much is going to, um, my facial this month?
07:51How much is going to go to my, yes.
07:54Okay.
07:55Um, for me, yeah, um, I go for facials every month.
07:59I buy books once every two to three days.
08:03Really?
08:03Yes, yes, I do.
08:05Um, so I also have like a monthly budget for, for the books that I'm reading.
08:10Cause I know that I read a lot.
08:12So I, I'm always like, I'm always doing like the, the maths in my head constantly.
08:20Um, okay.
08:21You know, maybe I want to go to like a different place, um, than my usual place for like a massage.
08:28I'm, I'm just, it's literally just an example.
08:31Cause like I go for massages like once every like year or two or like something like that.
08:37Um, yeah.
08:38And then like, I'll kind of like look at the difference and, and then, um, figure out like,
08:59okay, like, do I want to spend a little bit more?
09:01Or like, am I okay to spend like what I usually spend, which is already factored into like my monthly,
09:08you know, thingy.
09:09Um, but like, do you find that like you get pressured by social media at all to, okay.
09:17Yes.
09:17To do that.
09:18This is what I was going to say.
09:19I don't feel like I'm pressured at all.
09:21Yeah.
09:21But maybe this is what I think.
09:22Um, yeah.
09:23But okay.
09:25Even if I spend a bit more on certain self-care items, like for example, uh, my haircut, right?
09:30I feel that I will only do it if it gives me added utility, which for example, convenience,
09:36that to me is utility, right?
09:37Um, does it make sense to pay extra, let's say 50 ringgit for the convenience?
09:42I mean, that's up to you, but at least it gives me something.
09:44What I wouldn't do is doing things purely for status.
09:49So I think some people do that, including the gym.
09:51So I realized that a gym can be a flex as well.
09:53Yeah.
09:53So again, there's levels to this, right?
09:54Yeah.
09:54You thought like, oh, this gym is the most expensive one, but there are more.
09:57Um, and for example, my sister, she, she signed up for some package thing for, at a really
10:03expensive gym recently.
10:05I think it's like, it goes to like 350, 400 a month.
10:07It's crazy.
10:08Right.
10:09Yeah.
10:10Yeah.
10:10And, and I literally told her like, there's, there's no added utility for going to the gym
10:16other than it's fancy.
10:17And I don't know, you can take Instagram photos and be like, look what gym I'm at.
10:21Because she has to go out of her way.
10:23There are more convenient gyms for her.
10:25And to an extent, all gyms are the same, right?
10:27They all have, you know, you, you get to a certain level and then beyond that, uh, there's
10:32not much more.
10:33Yeah.
10:33So those things, those things I wouldn't do.
10:35Yeah.
10:35I would do things if it gives me added value.
10:38Yeah.
10:38Yeah.
10:39Yeah.
10:39I mean, like there are people who, again, um, I'm not a shopper.
10:42You're not a shopper either.
10:44Um, I'm not even a window shopper.
10:46So I hardly, unless I'm like walking around with friends, like I'm not going into shops
10:52and browsing, uh, whether it's online or offline, like literally going to a store.
10:57But like, again, like, of course you have people who, um, who want to buy the latest
11:04collection of like their favorite brand every single time it comes out, every time it drops.
11:07Right.
11:08Um, but I don't get why people queue for things, honestly.
11:13Yeah.
11:13I, I don't get it either, but like, yeah, it's because we're not shoppers like, like that.
11:18Right.
11:18Whereas, you know, some people find that like a form of self, that's why it's called retail
11:22therapy.
11:23Yeah.
11:23Right.
11:24And it's not just buying clothes.
11:25You know, um, there are people who buy, um, makeup who like collect perfume, you know,
11:32like that kind of thing.
11:33And like that genuinely adds to their happiness.
11:36So I think like, um, with me personally, like I don't like to judge, um, what other people
11:44find to be like their form of self-care because I like to, yeah, I mean, fair enough, fair enough.
11:51I mean, like I, cause I understand, like, I also have like my own, you know, forms of self-care.
11:59Right.
11:59Like some people can't fathom the fact that like I, I, I read 50 to 60 books.
12:04Um, but I tried with that being said, like, I, I, I'm sure there are like smarter when
12:12I say smarter, I mean like better ways to like upkeep that self-care.
12:17Um, I count, um, uh, books as self-care because it's such a huge part of my life, my daily life.
12:24And it genuinely adds to my happiness.
12:27And because I know, um, the amount that I'm reading every single month, um, I, I honestly,
12:36like I, for example, like I, I ditched physical books altogether because books are so expensive.
12:43If you're going to a store to buy it, right.
12:45Anywhere from like, you're starting at like what, 60 bucks, 70 bucks.
12:49And that's, um, that's not even hardcover, right.
12:53Um, I'm not buying hardcover books, but yeah, that's even more.
12:57Um, so I, instead, because I know my spending habits on books, um, I switched to e-readers
13:07instead, um, which is a lot cheaper, a lot more accessible, convenient.
13:11Um, I feel like if I read, I would, I would get one of those.
13:15Yeah.
13:15Yeah.
13:15It looks cool.
13:16No, it's, I think it's such a great way to, like I said, eat books.
13:21Like that's why, maybe that's why I go through books so quickly.
13:24It's because it's just so easy.
13:27Um, so yeah, so that's like a way that I found for myself to, to, I guess, again, I want to
13:35have, like, I want this to be a part of like my self-care.
13:39It is a part of my self-care and it has been for so many years and it's not something I'm
13:44willing to give up.
13:47So I better think about like a smart way to do it.
13:49And that's the smart way that I found.
13:51Yep.
13:52Yep.
13:52I think self-care is completely fine.
13:53I think everyone needs it to a certain extent.
13:55Yeah.
13:55Yeah.
13:56Um, how much you can afford.
13:57Yeah.
13:58I think it really depends on each individual, right?
14:00Or it's, yeah.
14:01It depends on how much your self-care is and how much you're earning.
14:04Yeah.
14:04How much disposable income you have after your necessities are met, right?
14:07Yeah.
14:07I think this is, we've talked about this many times.
14:09If you have a really high salary, then honestly, I mean, up to you.
14:13Yeah.
14:13How much you're doing your savings, you're doing your investments, all your bills are in check,
14:17then I mean, whatever, it's up to you.
14:18Mm-hmm.
14:18But I have noticed people overdoing self-care a bit and people who, let's say they're earning
14:25less average salaries.
14:26Yeah.
14:26And they spend a bit too much in the name of self-care, in the name of, um, not to downplay
14:32it, but mental health, right?
14:33A lot of people say, oh, for my mental health, I have to buy this new bag.
14:36I mean, really?
14:38Yeah.
14:38Okay.
14:39So like you, I only silently judge what I do for self-care.
14:44I don't mind, I know that everyone has different opinions about what they want to do, but you
14:49just can't overdo it.
14:50I think that's something that people, they just use it as an excuse, you know?
14:54Like, oh, I work so hard.
14:55Oh, this is pretty so stressful.
14:56Oh, this, all that.
14:57I have to buy something.
14:58You have to buy this.
14:59I have to go for a massage.
15:00I have to do my hair.
15:01And then they overdo it.
15:01I think that's the main thing you don't want to, you know.
15:04Yeah.
15:05Yeah.
15:05That's what you don't want to get into, basically.
15:06Of course.
15:07Yeah.
15:08So like, I guess in your opinion, like, how can you support like your mental health?
15:11Because you literally just mentioned mental health, right?
15:13Yeah.
15:13And I think self-care is such a huge part in our mental health, literally.
15:20I mean, mental health and also physical health, right?
15:23Yep.
15:23Because you're talking about gyms and all of that.
15:25So like, how can you support your mental health without straining your wallet?
15:30Okay.
15:31So I think one thing is your budget for it, ask for normal.
15:33If you think it's important to you, set aside however much you think you want to spend on it.
15:37And number two, I think the really good thing about the phrase, there's levels to it,
15:42is that there's actually levels that are quite low.
15:44Yeah.
15:45That are just as good.
15:46Yeah.
15:47Okay.
15:47So that's the story.
15:49Back when I was in my last corporate job, we actually had a mental health therapy budget for
15:54everyone.
15:55So it was like an employee budget.
15:55That's so sick.
15:56Yeah, yeah.
15:57That's so good.
15:58So before I left, I thought, why don't I just spend it?
16:00So I've never been to therapy, but I thought, since I got a thousand five hundred
16:03ringgit, I'll just book like ten, ten, a package of ten.
16:07That's amazing.
16:07Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:08So we did that.
16:09And, but while I was doing the research for it, so I chose a pretty expensive one because,
16:13I mean, it was free basically, right?
16:14It was an employee benefit.
16:16I found out that there are a lot of cheaper ones as well.
16:18There are like 50 ringgit ones, 20 ringgit ones.
16:20There's some by the government even, right?
16:22Yes.
16:23And then when we're talking about sports, I mean, you can go to a 400 ringgit gym,
16:26but if you can't afford it, jogging is free.
16:28You can go to, you know, those playgrounds where you can do like body weight.
16:31Yes.
16:32Yeah.
16:32They're all completely free.
16:33Yeah.
16:33So, I mean, there are a lot of things that you can do like with the same results, but at
16:39a much lower price or even free sometimes.
16:41Yeah.
16:42So that's pretty much it.
16:43Budget according to what you can afford and then just be a bit more resourceful.
16:47There are so many options out there.
16:49Mm-hmm.
16:49Yeah.
16:50Reading, you can even go to the library if you can't afford it, right?
16:52Yeah.
16:52You could.
16:52Yeah.
16:52Absolutely.
16:53Absolutely.
16:54Okay.
16:55So let's get into the stories.
16:56Okay.
16:57Okay.
16:57So the first story, I used to buy every trending serum, convinced the next bottle would fix
17:03my skin and somehow my confidence.
17:05By the end of the year, I had a 1,200 ringgit credit card bill and a drawer full of half used
17:11products.
17:11Oh my God.
17:11I can totally relate.
17:13I realized I wasn't investing in my skin.
17:15I was buying temporary confidence.
17:17Now I stick to a simple routine and treat self-care like savings, consistent and intentional.
17:22How do you know when your self-care routine is actually self-sabotaged for your wallet?
17:26I can literally answer this.
17:27Okay.
17:28I don't know what serum is, so I think you have to do this.
17:30So going back to COVID, I think a lot of people, yeah, I think some people were like,
17:40oh, you know, we're at home.
17:41So like, we don't really need to like, not take care of yourselves, but like, I mean, people
17:47were just a lot more relaxed.
17:48Um, I, on the other hand, and I think the other half of, of people, um, we, in order
17:55to feel some sense of normalcy in like our everydays, because like we're literally just
18:01stuck at home, um, to feel that sense of normalcy or to have any sense of normalcy at
18:06all we actually, like I, I, we, um, some of us actually still, you know, woke up, like
18:15did our makeup, put something decent on.
18:19Um, and a really big part of like my COVID time was actually spent browsing through, um,
18:30makeup and skincare because I was so like, I don't know.
18:35I was just chasing, I was just chasing any kind of normalcy.
18:38Um, and, and because of that, I, I was looking a lot at, yeah, getting this like skincare and
18:45makeup, um, and I found that I ended up hoarding a whole bunch of stuff that I, coming out of
18:53COVID didn't actually end up using.
18:56Um, cause I think we spent so much of our phone, so much of our time on our phone during COVID.
19:01Like I literally just got influenced to the max.
19:05Yeah.
19:06Cause I think during COVID that it was just like an all time high in terms of like social
19:10media usage.
19:11Right.
19:11So, um, the content that I was consuming was, was makeup and skincare.
19:19And here are ways to, you know, have like a still okay day while you're at home 24 seven.
19:28Um, yeah.
19:30But coming out of it, like I realized, oh, this is so not okay.
19:34Um, so I, I mean, how do you manage it?
19:38How did I manage it?
19:39I actually decluttered a lot of it.
19:40I gave a lot of it away.
19:41Um, and I really simplified on everything.
19:45Um, cause I realized, oh, okay, I didn't actually use this.
19:50I didn't actually use that.
19:51I didn't actually need this.
19:53I didn't actually need that.
19:54Um, and for me, when it comes to purchases, because like I, like we were talking, right?
20:01Like we were, like we were literally saying shopping is, um, a big part of someone's,
20:07a lot of people's self-care.
20:09Um, I'm the kind of person now, I think before I buy, a lot of people don't think before they
20:14buy.
20:15Um, but now I, if anything online, um, I will open, uh, the website and I will literally just
20:23keep the tab there for like a couple of weeks.
20:26Leave it in your cart.
20:27Yeah.
20:28I just leave it in the cart and see how I feel the next day or the day after that,
20:32or the week after that.
20:33And if I still want it, then, then I'll get it.
20:37Okay.
20:37So that's smart advice in general.
20:39Yeah.
20:39Yeah.
20:40Whatever she said.
20:41Yeah.
20:42It's literally because I did, I did this exact same thing and I regret it.
20:46I regret it so much because I now like my makeup and like skincare collection,
20:51which is exactly what it was, has dwindled down to like,
20:55it's probably only like maybe 20% of like what it was, what it was during COVID,
21:02which was crazy.
21:04Like even looking back on it now, I'm just like, what were you thinking?
21:07I think skincare is so easy to fall into the trap of watching.
21:11Yeah.
21:11No, of course.
21:12Yeah.
21:12I was literally trying everything and anything and I didn't really need to.
21:16Um, anyway, sorry.
21:17Okay.
21:18Next story.
21:19Sorry.
21:19I literally just took over that question.
21:21Um, okay.
21:22Next story.
21:22Ah, okay.
21:24This is one for you because I don't frequent these places.
21:27When I first signed up for a luxury gym, I told myself I'd go three times a week.
21:31Two months later, I'd gone three times total.
21:33Every time the membership fee was deducted, I felt guilty.
21:36But cancelling felt like giving up.
21:38Eventually, I switched to home workouts and saved hundreds.
21:40I realized consistency, not cost, defines progress.
21:44What's one expensive habit you can replace with a cheaper sustainable alternative today?
21:48Working out for sure.
21:52Yeah, for sure.
21:52For sure.
21:53Yeah.
21:53But it's funny because for this person, right?
21:55So I like to pay for my gyms upfront.
21:58When I have a choice of like paying monthly or paying upfront, I always pay upfront just
22:02because I feel like once I've paid, I have to go.
22:05Okay.
22:05I know a lot of people pay upfront and then they don't end up going.
22:08So it's a big waste of money.
22:10But I feel like me paying motivates me.
22:11I feel like I can't, I can't accept it, wasting money.
22:14So I have to go.
22:15Um, but I guess if you're not that type of person, then I mean, don't, don't commit to
22:19all of these things.
22:20Don't sign up for contracts.
22:21If you, you know, if you feel like you can't commit because it's, it's going to be just
22:24a waste of money, right?
22:25Yeah.
22:25Um, look for gyms with daily entries.
22:28There's a lot of those where you can just pay five, 10 ringgit to enter.
22:30So at least if you're lazy, there's not just your health at risk.
22:34It's your, you know, you save money at least, right?
22:36Yeah.
22:36But yeah, I think gym is definitely one area that you can, uh, cut down.
22:42One expensive habit, um, you can replace, um, yeah, no, the gym is such a good one.
22:48Honestly, like I actually, I have some friends who, um, they're like gym junkies.
22:53And like, every time I'm like, why don't you just go run outside?
22:56Yeah.
22:57They get so defensive, but it's true, you know, at the sites are so much better as well.
23:04Because like, obviously if you're running on a treadmill, you're literally looking at
23:06like one thing and one thing only for like, what an hour or however long you're running for.
23:10Um, and it's so monotone.
23:12Whereas like, if you're, if you're literally jogging outside, well.
23:17I think exercise has become a status thing.
23:19I really think so.
23:20Ooh.
23:21I mean, that's a topic for another day, but that's so true.
23:25It's not just exercise.
23:26Um, sports in general is a status thing.
23:29Um, but that's a topic for another day.
23:31Yeah.
23:31That's the answer.
23:32That is one thing that you can definitely get it cheaper for the same results.
23:37Yeah.
23:38All righty.
23:39Well, that's it for the stories.
23:40Do you have any last pieces of advice?
23:43Just to wrap this whole thing up, um, self care, I think it's completely fine.
23:46I'm not a believer of being so extremely stingy to the point where you don't reward yourself
23:52at all.
23:52I think you should have some self care.
23:54Just do it within reason, right?
23:56Within your means.
23:57And I think that's fine.
23:58Whatever you want to do, I might judge your choices, but it's completely up to you.
24:03Cool.
24:03I hope you guys enjoyed this episode.
24:05Nice talking to you again, Yasmin.
24:06And see you guys in the next one.
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