- 3 months ago
Is it a red flag if your partner spends beyond their means or expects you to foot the bill every time? Everyone sees money differently, but there’s no denying that finances can make—or break—a relationship.
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00:00If I was in a girl's shoes, and my husband told me to stay home and take care of kids...
00:04There are literally three other girls in this room as well, and they're like, yes.
00:09It has to be, I think.
00:09This is the way.
00:10Honestly, it's not worth it.
00:11The investment is not worth it.
00:13Saturates better, isn't it?
00:14Yes.
00:15No, if she didn't even offer, if she didn't even like, let me get the bill.
00:18I mean, I don't mind paying, but I want her to be like, do you want me to pay?
00:21How much was it?
00:22Okay.
00:23At least she has the intention.
00:24At least she has the intentions.
00:26I guess you pay for your half of like, the inconvenience caused by being here.
00:31And I'll pay my half for the inconvenience that has caused me to be here.
00:36Okay, I'm going to rephrase, because I think I painted myself in a very bad picture.
00:39Okay.
00:39I would probably pay, but I want the girl to offer.
00:47What's up, guys?
00:48My name is Ymir, and welcome back to another episode of The Money Goal.
00:52And today we have Yasmin again.
00:53Hello, Yasmin.
00:54Hi.
00:55Blue.
00:56Okay, what are we talking about today?
00:58Okay, so I wanted to talk about financial stuff, like in a relationship.
01:06Okay.
01:07So, I mean, I'm not sure like how you do things like with your partners, but like with me,
01:15I'm very much like a 50-50 person.
01:17Okay.
01:18For everything?
01:21Honestly, yeah.
01:21Okay.
01:22Yeah.
01:22I mean, obviously, I've never been married, so like, I can't speak on that.
01:26Okay.
01:26But like, yeah, while just being like in a relationship, like boyfriend-girlfriend.
01:32Yeah.
01:33I'm about that 50-50 life.
01:34Yeah, same.
01:35Yeah, you are?
01:36Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:36Okay.
01:37Because some people don't like that.
01:39Yeah, I know, I know.
01:40I know some people who, okay, I have a friend and I ask him, why don't you have a girlfriend?
01:43I don't know why I asked him that.
01:45That's a weird question.
01:46That is very weird.
01:46What are you playing?
01:47I know.
01:48I was like, dude, come on, you're 29.
01:49Okay.
01:49But anyway, he was like, oh, I don't have money for a girlfriend.
01:52I was like, what do you mean you don't have money for a girlfriend?
01:53And he said, he wants to pay for everything.
01:55I think some people are like that.
01:57They want to pay for everything.
01:57Even when they just meet the girl, they want to pay for all the stuff.
02:01But for me, I'm not that type of guy.
02:03I think if I go on the first date and a girl expects me to pay for everything, I mean, I will,
02:08but that will be the last date.
02:09I'm like, okay, bye-bye, see you.
02:11Okay.
02:12Right.
02:12No, if she didn't even offer, if she didn't even like, let me get the bill.
02:16I mean, I don't mind paying, but I want her to be like, do you want me to pay?
02:19How much was it?
02:20That's okay.
02:20At least she has the intention.
02:22At least she has the intentions.
02:23No.
02:24To me, if she expects 100-0, then I think we're not compatible financially.
02:30Right, right, right.
02:31Okay, interesting.
02:32Because like for me, if I'm going like on a first date, and if the date goes well,
02:39I would kind of expect the guy to pay.
02:43Okay.
02:44But would you offer?
02:45Would you pretend?
02:45I will always offer.
02:46Exactly.
02:46I will always offer.
02:48But if the date goes badly, I most definitely will split.
02:52Oh.
02:53Yeah.
02:54So that's the tell.
02:55Okay.
02:55Okay.
02:57Yeah.
02:58Because like for me, it's like, I guess you pay for your half of like the inconvenience
03:04caused by being here.
03:06And I'll pay my half for the inconvenience that has caused me to be here.
03:10That's fair.
03:11The time that was wasted and the effort that was wasted.
03:14So I think it's fair to go 50-50.
03:16Yeah.
03:16Right?
03:18Especially if you don't think that the date is going well.
03:21Yeah.
03:21But if the date is going well, basically, basically the guy, I feel like the guy should pay.
03:29Okay.
03:29It's kind of like an advance for the next date.
03:33Okay.
03:34I'm going to rephrase because I think I painted myself in a very bad picture.
03:37I would probably pay, but I want the girl to offer because, okay, if the girl doesn't
03:43even offer, then my thinking is this is the expectation for everything moving forward.
03:48Okay.
03:48Which makes things hard.
03:49Right, right, right.
03:50Yeah.
03:51I'm not that bad.
03:52No, no, no, no.
03:53You're not that bad.
03:54But I feel like there is like, I guess it depends on the person, right?
03:59Again, it's not really fair because like both of us are very 50-50 people.
04:02Well, again, can't speak on marriage because neither one of us have been married before.
04:08Yeah.
04:08But like at this stage, I feel like it's fair to be 50-50 because like we're just not committed.
04:14I mean, we are committed to each other, but like we haven't stepped into the like next
04:19phase in the relationship.
04:20So like I think it's only fair to have a 50-50.
04:25Yeah.
04:25You know what I mean?
04:26Like, you know, you're not handling like bills together or like housing loans or like car
04:32loans, that kind of thing.
04:34So as far as I'm concerned, if you're not married yet, then like your money is still your money
04:39and like my money is still money.
04:41I think that's fair.
04:42It's still my money.
04:42Yeah.
04:43But I think a lot of people should have the money talk even before they get married
04:47because I think financial compatibility is really important in relationships.
04:52So even though at this point, things are very straightforward, okay, 50-50, I buy lunch,
04:56you buy dinner or I buy this round, next round you buy.
04:59But you need to talk about, you know, like the serious stuff, like you're talking about
05:03house, kids and stuff like that before you get married because you don't want to get
05:07married and then figure out that, oh, you want to quit your job as soon as you get married
05:13and I have to like pay for everything.
05:14Yeah.
05:15I think these things you got to sort of iron out.
05:17Yeah.
05:17Yeah.
05:18Um, I think for me, like, so I would say that me and my partner are financially compatible,
05:24but we have two different styles, like completely different.
05:28In what sense?
05:29So I believe in 50-50.
05:31Okay.
05:31And he believes in 100.
05:34100-0.
05:34Yeah.
05:35As in you do the 100.
05:36No, as in he does the 100.
05:38He does the 100.
05:39Um, and like, I mean, to me, it's flattering, but like, I always feel like, you know, I
05:46don't, that's such a huge burden for just like one person to bear, um, especially because
05:51we're like still dating.
05:53Um, so even though it's been like, you know, some time has passed, I will still offer.
05:58I will always still offer or like, you know, just split it in a way that like, okay, you
06:05get next lunch.
06:06I'll get the lunch after that.
06:07Or like, um, um, yeah, just, just like things like that.
06:12So we're not like, you know, keeping track of it, like down to the scent, obviously not.
06:17Yeah.
06:18But I feel like, yeah, I just feel like I just don't want to like burden him.
06:23But like, I mean, we, we've talked about like the future before and like what he envisions.
06:29And like, if I, if I wanted to just like go along with it, I mean, like realistically
06:36I could, you know, he's like provider type of man.
06:40So like, he's happy for me to, to save all your money, just like literally save all my
06:46money.
06:47If I didn't want to work, then I, you know, don't have to as well.
06:51But like, I understand in like other relationships, it may not be the case.
06:56It could not be even feasible, right?
06:57It may not be feasible.
06:58And it also may not be, may not be the case, right?
07:01But how do you like navigate that conversation?
07:05Because like, it's, it's such a deal breaker for a lot of people, right?
07:08Yeah.
07:09I think the sad thing is it's a deal breaker for a lot of people, but they only find out
07:12after they're married.
07:14That's dangerous.
07:15Yeah.
07:15Because then what can you do, right?
07:17Yeah.
07:17I think I have a set of sort of principles that maybe I can't think of off the top of
07:22my head, but there are some things that, uh, my partner needs to have for me to think
07:28that, okay, this, this can work.
07:29And I think it's a lot more beyond, um, who pays for what I think 50, 50, a hundred zero
07:34that is, uh, I mean, it is important to talk about, but that's just one aspect, right?
07:38I think it's their mindset about money.
07:41So example, right?
07:43Someone who takes out a lot of loans, uh, to buy things that they can't afford.
07:48To me, that's like red flag.
07:49I can't, I can't do that.
07:51Um, people who spend beyond their means, you know, they want to.
07:54Yeah.
07:54Big red flag.
07:55Yeah.
07:55Big red flag.
07:55Right.
07:56If I want to buy, oh, I really want the new iPhone.
07:58I can't afford it.
07:59Oh, it's okay.
07:59We have a buy now, pay later.
08:01I'll just do that.
08:02Yeah.
08:02To me, big red flag probably cannot work longterm.
08:05It doesn't matter if we are 50, 50 or I'm a hundred zero, because if I'm a hundred and
08:09you're zero and then you're spending beyond your means, it's never going to work for us
08:12because it then means that, you know, I have to keep earning and earning, earning, and then
08:16you're just burning everything away.
08:17Yeah.
08:17So there are these things that I would think, you know, my partner needs to have.
08:22Otherwise it can't work.
08:23Yeah.
08:24Yeah.
08:24Yeah.
08:24I, um, what's your red flag?
08:29Um, I think like I've learned, I've had to learn this a hard way.
08:35To be fair.
08:36It's a story that I told you like literally last, like two weeks ago.
08:40Um, so I won't go into specific details, but, um, I think when I start this story, you'll
08:44remember what it is.
08:45Um, but I am a generous person.
08:50And, um, if you tug at my heartstrings, my heartstrings, then like you will even more
08:56generous.
08:57Yeah.
08:57Even more generous.
08:58Um, sometimes like I don't even need to be asked and I will try to help like where I
09:03can.
09:04Um, and I think naturally because, you know, your relationship, like you are naturally
09:11inclined to like help that person.
09:13We don't want to help that person.
09:14Then obviously you don't care about that person.
09:16Right.
09:16Yep.
09:16Um, so I think I had to learn the hard way that sometimes there are certain situations
09:22whereby you got to let them like figure it out.
09:26Um, you can only lend so much money or, I mean, in my case, it wasn't lend.
09:30It was give.
09:31It was give because obviously you don't want, with your partner, like it's so awkward to
09:36lend my need.
09:37Do you know what I mean?
09:38To me, I think that's awkward because if I'm helping, then like, I'm just going to give
09:43and with like the thought of like, um, it's okay if I don't see this money again.
09:47Okay.
09:48Um, it's all, it's imagine you're like, Hey babe, uh, remember my 500 bucks?
09:53Yeah.
09:53I think that's so awkward.
09:54I think that's so awkward.
09:55So, um, a big red flag is if your partner, yeah.
10:01I mean, when you said spending beyond your means, that's a huge red flag and a red flag
10:06that like I've, I saw and like, it took me a long time to actually like wake up about
10:12it, you know?
10:13Yeah.
10:13Yeah.
10:14Yeah.
10:14Yeah.
10:14You know, but I mean, that's why I think with this current relationship that I have,
10:18like, I'm so, I'm just like, you don't need to take me to like big, nice restaurant.
10:25Or like buy me, you know, rings and jewelry and like whatever.
10:29Like I'm, I'm totally fine.
10:31You know?
10:31Yeah.
10:32I think that is actually another thing.
10:33Yeah.
10:34I, I, I've seen friends with girlfriends who expect, um, that's when it gets really
10:39difficult.
10:39Certain things.
10:40Yeah.
10:40Certain level.
10:40I know some guys are okay doing it, which again, that means that they are financially
10:43compatible, but not for me.
10:45Right.
10:45I know someone who, um, is about to propose to his girlfriend.
10:49She has to buy a diamond ring.
10:51And I was like, so did you buy lab grown?
10:53And he was like, no, no, no.
10:54My girlfriend told me that it has to be the real deal.
10:57Yeah.
10:57Like it has to be the blood diamond.
11:00Otherwise you're not converted to me.
11:01Yeah.
11:01So she really wants like real diamond.
11:04It has to be huge.
11:05And the whole idea is it needs to cost him a certain amount of money to show that, look
11:11what I'm willing to spend to propose to you, which again, it works for him.
11:14I mean, I'm not going to tell him how to live his life or who to marry.
11:16If he's happy to do it.
11:17Yeah.
11:18But it wouldn't work out for me.
11:19Yeah.
11:20No, I'm definitely of the mindset that like, I think, um, especially if you're like starting
11:25out, right.
11:26Like it's really important not to set the bar.
11:30Of course, set the bar high, but not too high.
11:32Yeah.
11:32There's room to, you know, grow and impress.
11:37Don't make that the standard basically.
11:39Yeah.
11:39Yeah.
11:39Like honestly, if I'm being super honest, right.
11:42Like if, if my partner was like buying me, sure.
11:47Yeah.
11:47A diamond ring, like every month, then, oh my God, when we get married, I better be getting
11:54two different rings a month.
11:56Exactly.
11:56It has to be.
11:57Yeah.
11:57Because I feel like, you know, if you're transitioning into like that next phase of your relationship,
12:02then like, yeah, you got to give a bit more, right?
12:05You have to save some, you have to save some for the future.
12:07And I feel like, honestly, there's a sense of like romanticism in that as well.
12:11Like you, it's not that don't give a hundred percent, but like reserve some of that.
12:17So basically don't give a hundred percent.
12:18No, no, that's not what I'm saying.
12:20Obviously give a hundred percent in terms of like your effort and your long hair, your commitment.
12:24Yeah, absolutely.
12:25But like, there has to be some, some room for that later on in life.
12:32Yeah, I agree.
12:33I agree.
12:33Yeah, yeah.
12:34So, I mean, that's just, that's just me.
12:36But my red, my big money.
12:38That's a big money.
12:39I think it's important for couples to talk about money, especially early on.
12:44It's not that you have to agree on every single item, but I think if you agree on a few
12:49things, you generally have the same thinking towards money.
12:51So, like stories, right?
12:53I have colleagues who now, they have a kid about to enter primary school.
12:59And then now they're arguing about, should we send our kid to public school or international
13:02school?
13:03And the wife is like, oh no, we must send our kid to international school.
13:06And my colleague, as a guy, as a person who's actually paying, he's like, no, you know,
13:10why would we do this?
13:11I went to public school and I'm completely fine.
13:13I want my kid to go there as well.
13:15So yeah, all these things, they are, I mean, of course it's about education, your kid's
13:20future, but inherently the argument is about money.
13:22Yeah, absolutely.
13:23Yeah.
13:25The craziest story I've heard is this guy whose goal was to retire early.
13:33So he worked towards his retirement.
13:34So they separated their money, their net worth.
13:36Again, this is another topic.
13:37Oh, that is a whole different topic.
13:39We'll get to that later.
13:39But so he saved his own money.
13:41He invested his own money and everything.
13:43He's, I think, like 40, 42, and he's ready to retire.
13:47But his wife is not ready to retire because they split their money.
13:50So then now he's thinking, is it okay if I just retire and my wife continues working
13:54because my retirement is settled?
13:57Or do I have to work and both of us retire together?
14:01Yeah.
14:01So these are all things that I feel like I don't want to be in this position when I'm
14:0545.
14:06Yeah.
14:07When I'm already there, I don't want this conversation to only start then, which is
14:11why I think it's really important to start.
14:12Yeah.
14:13No, it's definitely important to, I think, especially if you're looking at this person
14:17as like marriage material, right?
14:19Like, yes, there are so many conversations that need to be had before you get married
14:25and one of them has to be a chat about your finances.
14:28Yeah.
14:29Right?
14:30For sure.
14:31Like, you just gotta, honestly, it doesn't even need to be about money specifically,
14:37but even things like, where does your partner like hope to stay after getting married?
14:44Like, does he want to buy?
14:45Does he want to rent out?
14:48Does he have any retirement funds like stashed away already?
14:52Where does he want to retire?
14:53Does he want to retire here?
14:54Or does he want to retire like somewhere else?
14:56Yeah.
14:57And all of that, that's money.
15:00Yeah.
15:00That's money.
15:01And like a huge thing also at school, right?
15:02You have kids, right?
15:03Um, yeah, their education, like later on, yeah, as an international school, you know,
15:08government school, um, university later on, are you willing, is your partner willing
15:12to send them overseas or, you know, you got to stay in mid-Malaysia?
15:17Yeah.
15:17That's all money.
15:18That's all money.
15:19Actually, the more we talk about this, the more examples I have of friends who basically
15:24argue about money, but I think too many stories already.
15:26Too many stories.
15:27Okay.
15:27But so when it comes to money management, are you, we keep our own money or are you, what's
15:35yours is mine, what's mine is yours, everything is one.
15:38Um, so for me, I've, I've thought about this.
15:41So I would definitely, uh, like to share, um, an account for sure with my partner.
15:48Um, and that would be for like, um, travel funds for, um, bills.
15:57Yeah.
15:57Basically, it's a couple expense.
15:59Yeah.
15:59It's a whole expense.
16:00Yeah.
16:00Yeah.
16:00Yeah.
16:01But then he will also have like his own and I will also have like my own.
16:06Yeah.
16:06And that is literally for like, if I want to go shopping.
16:09Yeah.
16:09Yeah.
16:09But like groceries for the house is in the shared one.
16:13Yeah.
16:13You know, that kind of thing.
16:14I agree.
16:14Um, if he wants to buy like gadgets and like electronics, that's his own one.
16:18Yep.
16:18So he doesn't touch like.
16:20Our money.
16:21Yeah.
16:21Yeah.
16:21Yeah.
16:21I agree.
16:22Again, I don't think that's the right or wrong way to do this.
16:25You can go, everything is shared.
16:27You can do everything separate, but I agree with you.
16:29I think, um, I would do every month, both of us contribute X amount depending on our salary.
16:35So I would, I would, you know, contribute depending on salary.
16:38I think it can't be the same amount.
16:39If I'm earning 30,000 and you're earning 2000, we can't like each contribute 1000, right?
16:43So we both contribute to a fund and then that's shared expenses.
16:46And then we have our own money.
16:48Absolutely.
16:48I think one thing that I want to say is, um, I think especially for girls, um, if you
16:54are the lower earning one or if you're not working, I really recommend girls have their
17:00own savings, have their own money.
17:01110%.
17:02Yeah.
17:02Just because I've also seen a lot of relationships where the woman stays because there's no
17:08money, because where else am I going to go if I get divorced, right?
17:11Yeah.
17:11And then that puts you in a tricky situation.
17:13I mean, yeah.
17:14Yeah.
17:14There are too many stories.
17:15Yeah.
17:16Like you don't have to tell one.
17:17I think there are so many stories.
17:19Yeah.
17:19It's like the media or like social media.
17:21Yeah.
17:21Um, and I think that's a really dangerous place to be.
17:25Exactly.
17:25It's essentially you're, you're like caged in, right?
17:28You are.
17:29You're trapped.
17:29Um, and I feel like, yeah, in, in Malaysia specifically, a lot of women stay in marriages that they shouldn't
17:37be staying in purely because of money.
17:39Yeah.
17:40All the lack of it.
17:41Yeah.
17:41Because more often than not, you know, they'll take on their kids after divorce and stuff
17:46like that.
17:46I mean, this is a totally different, you know, separate subject, but, um, I think it's so,
17:51so, so important to have like your own, your own money.
17:55You've got like your shared money and you got to have like your own as well.
18:00Yeah.
18:01I think so.
18:01That's what I told my sister.
18:04That's why I even told my partner the same thing.
18:06Right.
18:07Um, and that's why I recommend girls to continue working at least to build your own savings
18:11and have your own money.
18:12If your husband tells you, you know what?
18:15I don't want you to work anymore.
18:16I want you to take care of the kids.
18:17I think he should give you a salary.
18:19Yeah.
18:19I think he must give you a salary so that you have your own savings.
18:21Wait, sorry, what?
18:22He must give you a salary.
18:23A salary?
18:23Yeah.
18:24For staying at home because otherwise you won't have your own source of income.
18:26I like that.
18:27Yeah.
18:27So even for my own partner, like I would tell her, you know, I wouldn't want you to feel
18:30trapped forever.
18:32Right.
18:32Yeah.
18:32I don't want us to be together just because you have no other choice.
18:35Nice.
18:35Right.
18:36Yeah.
18:36Yeah.
18:36Yeah.
18:36So I think that is something that girls should obviously think about for sure.
18:40Like that.
18:40Okay.
18:40So like pocket money.
18:41Yeah.
18:42I mean, technically that is NAFKA, right?
18:45So.
18:45So, but not money that you give your wife just to pay for the kids.
18:49Oh, so you got NAFKA and you got your own.
18:52Yeah.
18:53If I were a girl, if I was a girl, if I was in a girl's shoes and my husband told me to
18:59stay home and take care of kids.
19:00There are literally three other girls in this room as well.
19:03And they're like, yes.
19:05It has to be, I think.
19:06This is the way.
19:06Otherwise, it's just continue working.
19:08Otherwise, it's just continue working.
19:09Right.
19:09You want me to quit?
19:10Give me a salary then.
19:11Yeah.
19:11We have a male producer here as well.
19:12I hope he, I hope he listens.
19:15He's preparing to get married.
19:16Oh no.
19:17Okay.
19:17Anyway, before we wrap things up and get to our story, at what point does financial issues
19:23or like money related issues become like a deal breaker for you?
19:26So, I think like I said, spending beyond your means, spending too much and not thinking
19:32about the future at all.
19:33I think that.
19:34Yeah.
19:34Yeah.
19:35It's just like careless spending.
19:36Yeah.
19:36Yeah.
19:37And I feel like maybe people like our age are more like prone to that.
19:42You know, I feel people, I feel like, I do know a lot of people who are like absolute
19:47spendthrifts and they just spend on like the silliest things and they don't like look ahead
19:54because the reality is that later on, like when, when you're married and stuff like that,
20:02like costs, like costs are going to add up, right?
20:05Yep.
20:06You know, you got your diapers, your susu, your, I mean, it's literally a huge list, right?
20:12So, it's better for you to be prepared for that rather than like spend on like shoes,
20:18you know?
20:18Yeah.
20:18Yeah.
20:18Shoes like every week now.
20:20And I would say if you, if you see financial red flags in your partner, I think just run
20:26as early as possible.
20:27Yeah.
20:27I know people get blinded by love.
20:29I mean.
20:29Yeah.
20:31Yeah.
20:32Yeah.
20:32But yeah, I think these things, it's either you, it's either you run early on or you just
20:36confront it head on and say, if you can't change, then I don't think this will work out.
20:39Yeah.
20:40No, absolutely.
20:41Yeah.
20:41From my own experience for sure.
20:43Like, it's honestly, it's not worth it.
20:45The investment is not worth it.
20:47I try making the investment.
20:48There's no ROI.
20:50Saturay is better, isn't it?
20:51Yes.
20:52Saturay is better.
20:53Okay.
20:54Alrighty.
20:55So, we got a story here.
20:56Yep.
20:58Alrighty.
20:59When my partner and, when my partner and I first got serious, everything seemed perfect.
21:03But then I found out by accident that they had a huge credit card debt, more than both
21:08our savings combined.
21:09I felt betrayed and it wasn't just about the money.
21:12It was about honesty.
21:13It took months of difficult conversations, but we slowly worked through it.
21:17We created a debt repayment plan and we started being more transparent about our finances.
21:22Now we sit down every month for a money date to review spending, savings, and future plans.
21:27First, how early should couples start talking about money and what's the best way to bring
21:30it up without sounding too serious?
21:32As early as possible.
21:33Is that even a question?
21:34First date.
21:35I think...
21:36Like, oh my god.
21:38Like, I feel like if you're...
21:40Once you've, like, decided, like, this dude is gonna...
21:43Or this person is gonna be the one that you're gonna marry, you need to have that conversation.
21:48I mean, some people are quite lucky in that they have that conversation really, really early
21:51on, right?
21:52Like, six months in or whatever.
21:53Like, I literally...
21:55I mean, I have a partner who is just transparent in general.
21:58So, like, I got to know all of that three months in.
22:02Just because he was open to sharing.
22:04But I feel...
22:05But I guess some people are sensitive, right?
22:07Yeah.
22:07When it comes to that.
22:08Okay, I have a friend who has been with his girlfriend for 10 years and they don't know
22:13each other's salary.
22:14And I was like, whoa.
22:16Okay, I mean, up to you.
22:18But yeah, I will also say as early as possible.
22:20I think salary, for example, is as basic as it gets.
22:23Because how do I plan where we're going to live?
22:26How much can we afford for the wedding if I don't even know your salary?
22:28Yeah.
22:29As early as possible.
22:30But I guess as soon as you're serious, I would say.
22:33I mean, if you're 20 years old, you're going out of the day for the first time, whatever,
22:36let it be.
22:37But if you're more, you know, you want to be serious quick on early on, then I would
22:41talk about it.
22:41Yeah, definitely.
22:43I think straight out the...
22:44Ask for the CITOS report.
22:46Yes.
22:47How much loans do you have?
22:48Have you been paying on time?
22:49No, but something like this, right, with this credit card, like secret credit card
22:53debt, I think, I mean, I would feel really betrayed as well.
22:56Because I think that's something you definitely have to disclose, right?
23:00Especially if it's a lot, for sure.
23:01Yeah, exactly.
23:03Like, I would feel blindsided, right?
23:05Alrighty, okay.
23:07Second story.
23:09I used to split bills equally with my partner.
23:11At first, it felt like it was fair.
23:1450-50 sounded simple.
23:15But I earned half of what my partner made, and paying the same amount left me broke,
23:19stressed, and even skipping meals sometimes.
23:21Eventually, I admitted how hard it was.
23:23My partner understood, and we switched to splitting based on income.
23:26Suddenly, things felt lighter and less resentful.
23:30Fairness, I realized, doesn't always mean equal.
23:32It means recognizing each other's realities.
23:35For couples, what's a fair way to split bills?
23:37Should it always be 50-50 or adjusted based on income?
23:39It's up to them.
23:42Yeah, it literally is.
23:43It's up to you, yeah.
23:45So, I guess the most logical is income-based, right?
23:48A percentage of income.
23:49But you can still do 50-50.
23:50So, one thing I used to do as well is, because back then, we wanted to do more 50-50.
23:56But I was earning a bit more.
23:58So, obviously, it's not that people are married.
23:59So, I can't say, oh, you know, let's compare our ratio of salary,
24:02and I'll pay exactly that 77%, and you pay the rest.
24:04So, what we would do is, the good thing is, my partner is very open.
24:09So, if I say, hey, let's go to this restaurant, and they're like, oh, it's too expensive for me, sorry.
24:13Since I'm the one who wants to go to a more expensive place, then I'll pay for it.
24:16Yeah.
24:16Yeah.
24:17I actually, I do that as well.
24:19Yeah.
24:19If I've chosen a restaurant, and I know it's an expensive restaurant,
24:22then I will offer to pay, even though I'm the girl.
24:25I think it's as simple as that.
24:25I don't care, yeah.
24:26I know some people are stuck like this person, 50-50 forever,
24:29even though the income gap is too huge.
24:31I think that's tricky as well.
24:32You have to compromise.
24:34I think the other partner can't be so selfish in the sense that, you know,
24:37I earn a lot more, but I'm only going to 50-50.
24:40No, I think it's just important to, I guess, be fluid with it, right?
24:45Yeah.
24:45I think if you're so stringent about literally 50-50, 50-50 on the dot,
24:50I think it's quite hard, because it just needs to be some breathing room,
24:53just in case, you know, situations like this.
24:55Yeah.
24:55I mean, it's a relationship.
24:56It's not a business agreement, right?
24:58Exactly.
24:58Exactly.
24:59There's no contract in place.
25:00Not yet, at least.
25:01But anyway, yeah, that's it for today's episode.
25:04Yeah, I guess, to wrap up, what do we have?
25:06So, number one, make sure you talk to your partner about finances early on.
25:09I think a lot, I mean, even this problem, right?
25:1250-50, 70-30, based on income, this can all be talked about even before you get married.
25:16So, talk to your partner early on.
25:18You need to be financially compatible.
25:20I think it's super hard if you're not.
25:22Yeah.
25:22It's good to be transparent and...
25:25Just talk about it.
25:26Yeah, just talk about it.
25:27Yeah, you got to be open to talking about it.
25:28And I would say finances, a lot of people want to put it off because, you know, love
25:32first.
25:33And then, never mind.
25:34Finances, risky.
25:35It's the real world.
25:37It doesn't work.
25:38And, you know, if you're not compatible with someone in another aspect, let's say religion
25:43or stuff, you wouldn't go ahead with it.
25:45So, if you're not compatible financially, I would also, you know, don't go ahead with it.
25:48I think it's a very important decision.
25:50A lot of people get themselves into a lot of financial trouble, which then leads to unhappiness
25:55and all that just because of this.
25:57So, yeah.
25:58Thanks.
25:58Yep.
26:00All right.
26:00I hope you guys enjoyed this episode of The Money Goal.
26:03And nice talking to you again, Yasmin.
26:05Good talking to you.
26:06Yep.
26:06See you guys in the next one.
26:07Bye.
26:08Bye.
26:08Bye.
26:09Bye.
26:09Bye.
26:09Bye.
26:10Bye.
26:10Bye.
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